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The Citizen, 2015-02-12, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015. PAGE 5. Sometimes life plays out the way it does in the movies. Case in point: that Korean Air Lines executive who flew into a rage when a flight attendant served her a complimentary snack of macadamia nuts in a plastic bag rather than on a plate. She forced the attendant to kneel and apologize and demanded the plane return to the gate so he could be kicked off the flight. Yes, well now the executive, who is a daughter of the airline’s chairman, has been fired, publicly shamed and arrested as a result of the incident. She will forever be known as the ‘nut rage nut’. But hold on...here’s another news story about a group of Chinese tourists that went crazy on a Thai Air-Asia flight because they couldn’t sit together. They threw hot noodles at a flight attendant. Noodle rage. And last month, several flights in the U.S. were interrupted by passengers going postal over reclining seats that wouldn’t recline – or because of seats in front of them that reclined too much. Recline rage? What these incidents all have in common is not just bad behaviour or diminished expectations – it is airplanes. These meltdowns didn’t occur on buses, in taxis, elevators or barbershops. They happened on those sardine cans with wings that are supposed to be the ultimate in travel luxury and convenience. It’s not your imagination – air travel really is getting worse. I speak for those of us who travel in ‘economy’ class (which ought to called ‘steerage’) – not for the poobahs and pashas who fork over an extra grand or more each for the privilege of relaxing up front sipping complimentary champagne in their spacious and private cocoons. For the rest of us, it’s an endurance test of skinny aisles, smelly washrooms and canned announcements. “Insert the buckle in...” Thanks, pal. I mastered seatbelts back when Lester Pearson was PM. And then there’s the actual seat you purchased for the flight. It’s perfectly contoured for a normal-sized dwarf who unfortunately, you are not. That’s not your imagination either – airplane seats really are getting smaller. On United Airlines 767 airplanes 166 passengers are now shoehorned into a space originally designed for 152. Air Canada 777’s have all been reconfigured to have 10 seats across instead of the original nine. Most airlines have even whittled down the ‘seat pitch’ – the space, front to back, allotted for each passenger. Used to be 32 inches, now it can be as little as 28. The airlines taketh away but the airlines also addeth – extra fees mostly. For everything from baggage to wireless service to reheated snacks at which a street pigeon would turn up its beak at. Are you old enough to remember when airlines offered unlimited baggage? Free hot meals? Complimentary wine? It wasn’t long ago. It wasn’t so very long ago either that Al Gore offered a pithy observation on the horrors of modern air travel. “Airplane travel,” said Gore, “is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo”. Frankly, I was surprised to hear that from the lips of Al Gore. I’m pretty sure he flies Executive. Arthur Black Shawn Loughlin Shawn’s Sense Pretty recently I wrote about how important hockey was for my development as a young boy (and since then I’ve become convinced that those lessons are needed for younger generations now more than ever), but I failed to look at the dark side of hockey: the parents. I guess that statement could be said of pretty much any sport really. Some parents, the ones who aren’t on the bench or in the dugout or out refereeing but make themselves part of the action by being loud, obnoxious and disrespectful, are pretty much the worst part of organized sports. I speak from experience here. I’ve seen, from the ice, as a player, parents of friends, of classmates who were acting beyond what is socially acceptable. I’ve seen, as a referee, parents who should be ashamed of themselves (and who probably should have been charged for their actions) embarrassing their children. I’m sure this isn’t a popular opinion but I hold that whenever a parent who isn’t a referee or a coach gets involved with a sport beyond observing and cheering respectfully, things quickly go downhill. Take, for example, the Toronto Leaside Girls’ Hockey Association. Recently, the organization issued a policy stating that coaches tapping players’ shoulders, helmets or buttocks were forbidden. Okay, the latter I can see, but the touching of shoulders or the helmets is necessary to the game. One of the lessons that has stuck with me, for going on 25 years now, was the danger of throwing your stick at another player. I was five or six years old and playing for Goderich at the Clinton Arena. My coach at the time taught me a lot about what it meant to be a defenseman. Most of all, he taught me that there should never be an attacker behind me, in front of the goalie, so, when I saw a player slipping past me, I threw my stick at him. I’m sure I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know exactly how wrong it was. It turned what probably would have been a chance for me or my teammates to catch up to him and stop him into a penalty shot: the worst possible goal-scoring scenario in a hockey game. When my penalty ended and I returned to the bench (not to play the rest of the game if my memory serves me right), my coach put his hands on both my shoulders and said, “That’s just something you don’t do. Never do it again.” Had he said that as I got on the bench or in the dressing room after the game, I probably would not have remembered the lesson. I remembered it because he put his hands on my shoulders to capture my attention and quietly said that it wasn’t something that was ever to be done and I remembered it. I also remember my first goal, because it was a complete fluke. I was out of position, resulting in a two-on- one and, luckily, my defense partner stopped the opposing team’s advance. He dumped the puck, prompting a line change for our team. However, due to being out of position, I was closer to the puck than I was to the bench. I took the puck, skated it in and put it in the net. I don’t remember where it was or where it happened, but I remember, fondly, the feeling as my coaches and teammates smacked my helmet and told me good job. There are, of course, lines that can be crossed. I’ve never been comfortable with overly-touchy human contact, but people touching each other’s rears is certainly past where I draw the line so I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad rule. The no-touching of the shoulders or the helmets idea, however, is completely out of line. When a young player messes up or gets hurt, you need to be there to put a hand on their shoulder and tell them it’s going to be all right. When they do well, you need to contact them to congratulate them so they know that you know the congratulations are sincere. When you’re dressed in hard foam, near- bulletproof plastic, steel cages and impact- plastic helmets, the personal touch is kind of gone from hockey, that’s why players take their gloves off when they shake hands (or they should anyway). It reminds them that, while they may be nothing but opponents with features hidden by a mask on the ice, off the ice, the other team is actually populated by human beings. It also teaches respect. When a coach puts his hand on a player’s shoulder and tries to set him straight, it isn’t because he wants to hurt or intimidate him (or it shouldn’t be anyway), it’s because he wants a player to focus on the words he is saying and remember it the next time he finds himself wanting to throw his stick. When a trainer kneels beside a player and puts a hand on his shoulder or thigh (or, you know, the three inches of padding at the shoulder ot the one inch of padding at the thigh), it’s not for any nefarious reason, it’s to assure the player that someone is there to help them and take care of him. And finally, when a player or a coach taps someone on the helmet (taps, not punches – there’s a big difference there), it can be one of the most re-assuring moments in the game. It can make you feel like you’re on top of the world, but it also reminds you that, without a coach to show you how to play the game and your teammates to help you out, you wouldn’t be feeling so good. I want everyone reading to take note of the fact that none of this had anything to do with parents (except the coaches and trainers). All of these great things happen with or without parents being at the game. Parents should be aware of that. Your children are going to learn, have fun and be educated with or without you so if you are one of those people who can’t separate yourself from the action, who can’t sit and be happy that your child is enjoying themselves, do the coaches, the other players, the referees and, most importantly, your own children a favour and watch from the glassed-in, heated areas that most arenas provide. At least in there, you’re not going to be interrupting the game. Denny Scott Denny’s Den A knife to a gun fight Leave it to an Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) champion to be the voice of reason in the debate on performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) and their place, if any, in modern sports. Big news was made earlier this month when Anderson “The Spider” Silva, one of the UFC’s most celebrated champions, tested positive for PEDs prior to beating Nick Diaz, who also failed his test, at UFC 183, held at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. To put Silva’s positive test in perspective, he is perhaps the greatest fighter to ever set foot in the UFC’s octagon. So imagine if Wayne Gretzky had been found to be on steroids. That’s the kind of impact on a sport we’re talking about here. When interviewed about the positive test, longtime UFC champion, Canadian Georges St. Pierre – who may now own the title of greatest UFC fighter ever in light of Silva’s positive test – struck out not at the harm PED use does to the legitimacy of the sport, but rather to the harm PEDs can do to fellow fighters. St. Pierre likened a fighter on PEDs to a “biological weapon” saying that if the UFC was to allow fighters to use PEDs, they might as well be bringing a knife into the octagon with them. “It’s an advantage that you have over your opponent that you should not be able to compete with, because you put the health of the competitor in jeopardy,” St. Pierre said in an interview with The Globe and Mail. Whether it’s organized fighting, baseball, hockey or football, the point St. Pierre is trying to make is one that, admittedly, most people hadn’t considered in the lengthy, on-going discussions about PEDs that have dominated sports bar conversation since the 1990s. In baseball, there is talk of tainted records and the illegitimacy of statistics that have been on the books for decades. But what about the safety of players? In baseball, for example, you have players swinging heavy, wooden bats and throwing a heavy, hard projectile in a hyper-competitive environment. What then happens when you have players throwing and hitting baseballs at a level that is, by definition, super-human? Pitchers still stand 60’6” away from hitters whether they’re using PEDs or not. They’re not wearing helmets and they still have no way, other than a glove, to protect themselves. In football, where the long-term repercussions of concussions are finally coming to the forefront, you have players running faster and colliding at higher speeds than ever before. How then is a human body supposed to hold up to a collision with a super- human body? By definition, the playing field is not level and players are most definitely being put in dangerous situations as a result of PEDs. And in a sport like UFC, where the object is to inflict pain on your opponent, there’s no doubt that PEDs and competition are a potentially lethal mix. So when we argue over whether Barry Bonds, suspected PED user, is the legitimate heir to Hank Aaron on baseball’s home run throne, I think we’re forgetting something. In addition, as the new generation of sports fans comes along, proclaiming the PED era in baseball to be its most exciting, there are some very real issues being lost in the shuffle – not the least of which is the players who carry out our beloved pastimes and their safety on and off the field and during and after their sports careers. Other Views Humanity remembered in touch It’s the rage while in the air