The Huron News-Record, 1887-12-28, Page 4t' OUSiNESS' ANNONNG HENT.
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Wed uesday, December 28,1887
SCOTCH PECULIARITIES.
As Seen and Decribed by the
Veracious Max O'Reil.
To us Frenchmen the Scotch aro
British subjects, otherwise called
Englishmen, wearing a head dress,
clad in a plaid and ll short kilt of
red, green and ;gray squares, and
playing on tho bagpipes; for the rest,
speaking English, eating roast beef
and swearing by the Bible, says
Max O'Rell. Many of the English
doubtless share the idea which we
have generally conceived of the in-
habitants of the north- of Great
Britain. Never, however, have two
peoples been so near to each other
on *map of the world an so
separated by their customs and char-
acter. The Scotch are English 1
Say that to the0Scotoll and see how
you will be received.
The Scotchman is a British sub
,jest, but if you take hits for au
Englishman he bridles up and ex•
claims : "No, sir ; I am not an
Englishman. I ani a Scotchman."
He is Settitch, and he intends` to re-
main Scotch. He is proud of his
nationality, and I.cougratulate him
r•on it.
0 +11 the citizens of the kingdom
more o less united, friend Donald
is the sha test, the areal solid,' the
most labor' us and the; wittiost.
The wittiest : 'hat is going pretty
far ! Yes the wi tient, with all due
respect to the shade of Sidney
Smith., The English honor the
Scotch so little that when I said a
few months ago that it was my in-
tention to lecture in Scotland they
laughed in Illy face.
"But, lily dear friend," they cried,
"do you not know that it is only by
means of a pickaxe that you can get
a joke into the head of a Scotch -
man I" In fact, ever since the day
when Sidney Smith of joyous
moniory: pronounced his famors
sentence against the Scotch=name-
ly : •'that, to make a Sootchtean
understand a joke required the aid
of a snrgical operation," poor Don-
ald has been unable to prevent the
past and present generations of Eng-
• land front concurring in the judg-
ment passed upon him by the cele-
brated wit. It is in vain that Scot
land has produced Smollott,, Robert
Burns, - Walter Scott, Thomas
Carlyle—theScotchman still re-
mains, in the eyes of the English,
the personification of denseness, a
poor devil good for nothing • but
prayer and money shaking; and the
Londoner who has not traveled], the
cockney, who still firmly believes
that Frenchmen are puny creatures,
living on frogs and snails—this
'Londoner, the most stupid animal
on earth, goes about repeating to.
whoever:Will listen, "dull and stupid
as a Scotchman." Give a few nionr-
onts''start to a canard, to a false re-
port, and you can never overtake
it. To bo euro,. London will say
English wit is not to bo found
among the Scotch. Chaffing and'
play upon words aro sealed books
to there. A pun culnplotely upsets
. him and makes his hair stand on
end ; but I hope to prove by a few
anecdotes that Donald has wit—and
wit of good order, too—containing
much of that sharp, subtle humor
that would pass through the head
of a cockney without leaving the
faintest impression. I wishOnot to
say that there is more intelligence
in Scotland than in England, but I
Can safely affirm that there is more
'1ltelleetuality. The cockney mus„
!~Lave puns, vulgar play upon words,
''bars() jokes. At the theater he
t have jigs, end, in order to
e him, tho bust actors and sing-
Tire obliged to learn to Make
pironets and to vie in agility with
the mountebanks of a fail'. No jigs,
no applause ; but a hornpipe is his
delight. An actor, who, for an •bout•,
is not able to keep bis hat ou his
hoed, lifts him to the seventh heaven
and I have even seen the orchestra
chairs in London applaud these
things. Such buffoonery makes the
Scotchman sails also, but it is with
pity. The cockney 1° Wheu you
say tat you have said it all. This
is the individual who a:11 criticise
the opera of Faust, because, up to
the present time, they have never
introduced iu the kirmess scone an
acrobat walking on his head or turn-
ing a handspring. No, the Scotch -
man has no wit of that sort. In the
matter of wit he is a• gourmand who
appreciates only delicate viands. A
keen repartee tickles him agreeably;
he catchss a fine point ; he is a good
fellow and can take a joke. The
quickness of his thoughts and sub-
tlety of his character,cajiae him to
make piquant reflections and amus-
ing and unexpected torus. Ho
escapes affectation, that great danger
of wit ; he is natural, full of good
humor ; ho can see a joke, but he
cannot slake one, and that line of
Gressot's, "Au attempt at wit spoils
what one really has," could never
be applied to him.
•
ORIGIN OF OLD PHRASES.
"Cutting a Dido," "Catching a
Tartar," and "He has an
Ax to Grind."
• Christian, Union,
Dido, Queen of Tyre about seven
centuries before Christ, after her
husband had been put to death by
her brother, fled flour that city and
establisboil a colony on the north
coast el Africa. Having bargained
with -the natives fors much land
as could be surrounded with a bull's
hide, she cut.the hide into narrow
strips, tied them together, and claim-
ed the land that could be surround
ed with the lino thus made. She
%vias allowed to have her way, and
now, when one plays a sharp trick
he is said to "cut'a dido."
A tailor of Samitreaud, Asia, who
lived on a street` leading to the
burying ground, kept near his shop.
an earthen pot,, iu which he was ac-
customed to deposit a pebble when-
ever a body was carried to its final
resting place. Finally the tailor
died ; and•seeing the shop deserted,
a person inquired what had become
of its former occupant. , "He has
gone to pot himself," was the reply
by ono of the deceased's neighbors.
1)uriug'a battle between the Rus-
sians and. Tartars a'privalte soldier
of the former cried out :—"Captain,
I've caught a'Ijtrtar." "Bring hitu
along," said the officer. "He won't
lot rue," was the response. Investi-
gation proved that the captive had
the captor by tho aro: and would
not allow him to move. So "catch-
ing a Tartar" is applicable to' one
who has found an antagonist too
powerful for him.
While lying en the ground over
slow fire St. Lawrence—in whose
honor the Escurial was built ,.by
Philip 'I1., said to tho emperor whd
was w:htchi:ng h is ,sofferings :—"As-
satus ess jam. versa et manduca ;"
whicn one translator, not quite liter-
ally, but appreciatively of the same
grim humor characterizing the orig-
inal, rendered :—
"lhis site enough is roasted,
Then tufa ale, tyrant, arida eat ;
Anil see whether ra v or roasted
I am the better meat."
Hence, "Done to a turn."
Formerly in London when a
small dealer bought bread of the
baker, for every dozen -loaves pur-
chased ho was given which-
an extra loaf
1,
as his profit-, ofi from circum-
stances
stances "a baker's dozen"' signifies
thirteen. Various origins have boon
assigned the,.phraso, but the above
is the only ono based on -a sure
foundlition.
In a work, "Essays from the Desk
of Poor Robert the scribe," publish-
ed in 1815, th
c author, 0. Miner,
Zlner,
tells the story of a boy who, by the
offer of ra li a liberal 1 compeusatiou; was
induced to turn the grindstone for
a man who desired to sharpen his
ax. Tho promised compensation
was never paid, and of ono who dis-
guises his own selfish aims under an
appearance of generosity or disintor-
astedncsa it is remarked :—"He has
an ax to grind;"
•
--Wong Ah Hung a wealthy
Chinese merchant of San Francisco,
has been convicted in the United
States .District Court MI a charge of
importing Chinese women for im-
moral purposes. A number of
similar cases have been brought to
the attention of the Federal Courts
recently. From records seized
among the baggage of the women
and from testimony given in Court
it was disclosed that there was a
regular traffic in young women, and
that they were purchased in China
for from $200 to ; 600 each.
—The Yellow Ritfor in China broke
its banks on the evening of 18,
southwest of the city of Ching Chow,
not only completely inundated that,
city, but also ten other populous
cities. The whole area is now a
raging sea ten to thirty feet deep.
It was once a densely populated
and rich plain. The former bed of
the Yellow River is now dry and the
present lake was the bed of the
river centuries ago• The loss of
life is incalculanble, and the state-
ment is made by missionaries that
millions of Chinese are homeless and
starving.
WIDOW 4MONCi• T cIE VAR.
3KNAS,
Oho got Pledges to Sava the
Song Beide, and Makes Pro-
rliissory Notes" -of Them
Two weeks ago a little woman
about 35 years of ago arrived in
Seneca Falls, New York State. She
had an unusually fair complexion,
dark blue eyes and brown hair, and
her face was attractive and express-
ive of modesty and aefiuoment.
She said she was Mrs. Ruth Arm-
strong, of New York, and was ono
of twelve agents whom the Society
for the Prevention of Killing Song
Birds iu New York, had sent out
into the rural districts of the State
for the purposes of getting pledges
from influential people that they
would do all in their power to sup
press the slaying of the birds. She
obtained several pledges from peo-
ple in Seneca Falls, and on the
next day drove over to the hamlet of
East Varick, Seneca county where
she went to Elder Colton, a pillar
in the church there, and the richest
farmer in the town. Sho stated
her errand to the elder, and was in-
vited to his house to spend the
night. The Colton family were
delighted with her, and Elder Col-
ton mot only signed the pledge,
which Mrs. Arulstrong presented,
but presented the lady with three
$10 bills for the treasury of the'
society in New York. Deacon
'Skinner, of Lodi, was also visited
and moved by the fair lady's words
to sign a pledge for checking
the slaughter of song ,- birds.
IIozekiah Bishop, Justice of the
Peace in West Varick, and Daniel
Simpson and Peter Henson, of
Tyre also gladly signed. Next day
the pretty widow received a tele-
gram from Albany, ,and with tears
in her eyes sha hastily packed her
trunk at her boarding house in
Seneca Falls. Her only brother
was dying in Albany, she said, and
she took tho first train for that city.
Several days later there was some
pretty mad men in Seneca county.
The pretty little widow's bird
pledges all turned up as promissory
notes. Albert Hall, a banker and
merchant at Sheldrake, bought notes
to the amount of $940, which pur-
ported to have been given by Elder
Colton and Ilezohiah Bishop. Mr.
Hill bought thele of a middle-aged
mau, who pretended to have sold
farm machinery in- this region, and
thus`to have obtained the notes.
They had been ingeniously cou-
'structed from the pledges to protect
the birds. Similar notes, varying
iu anlouut from $1.50 to $300 each,
have been sold by the Ulan in other
parts of the country during the past
five days, and it. is reckoned that the
total amount of notes constructed
from song -bird pledges and sold in
this region is $1.500 or $1.600.
Last week it was learned that a
women exactly answering the de-
scription of Mrs. Armstrong, work
ed the song -bird pledge swindle in
Genesee and Livingstone counties
several months ago. The result of
the work at that time was over
$2,700. Au old grey-haired man
negotiated" 'the promissory notes
then.
,The music of the Chinese
theater at San Francisco has made
the following impression, on a local
journalist :—"Ituagine" yourself in
a kettle'mauufactory of four hundred
hands, all busily engaged in
hammering: Suppose ydu have
on the right o rivet works in full
activity and a quartz inill on the
loft. Add six hnndred drunken
anon in front,suppliod with every
kind of instrument, and four
thousand infuriated cats on the roof.
You Wray' then form some faint idea
of the performance of a Chinese
orchestra."
—Richard Williams, found
guilty at the hlgin sessions of de-
fraud ing Moses Law, of ilayhann,
out of $22 in the sale of silverware
acmph) of years ago, o, visited the
residence of au old fanner parti-
ally blind nnd offered? to sell him a
Bible. The old gentleman was
religiously inclined and Williams
read chapters from the good book
to him and they fervently prayed'
together on their knees. Williams
finally induced the farmer to sign
what was represented to the latter
as an order for a Bible, which prov-
ed to be'a note for $200, which w•as
subsequently cashed and the farmer
was obliged to pay. The authori-
ties claim to have the facts in their
possession but owing to' the death
of the principal witness are unable
to prosecute.
GREAT SLAUGHTER
•?r
—1 N— •
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