The Huron News-Record, 1887-11-23, Page 4'.4','.t's"4" •
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InISMESS APOOLIII0E14.ENT.,
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qail(Rztolae*Aafett
roggigl•Itomg.P, 140flf t "PQM Cnr-
7.tifkre..,,, W. want a 9,904
P.9..44gat Oven..071, tQoaZity, not atiroaay
,r4pre§enteo; Of? pOnfi a$1.431111netco.
411,11SCIKtRERS.t
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in not later than MONDAY noon of
each Week.
CIRCULATION.
TRE NEWS -RECORD has a larger
circulation than any other paper in
this section, and as an advertising
medium has few equals in Ontario.
Our 'books are open to Those who
mean business.
JOB PRINTING.
The Job Department of this jour-
nal is ane of the best equipped in
Western Ontario, and a superior
class of work is guaranteed at very
moderate rates.
The HuronAlews-Record
Wednesday, November 23, 1887
Hops for the Dunces.
There are many dull boys who
are like cloudy mornings before
bright days. It is the safer plan of
an educator to assume that dulness
is but a husk more or less difficult
to peel off and almost always con -
coaling a sweet kernel. It may be
long before he discovers it, and
when. discovered it may not lie in
the usual forms of school life. A
• man• and his wife brought a music -
stool. After a time they brought
it back to the upholsterer, declar-
ing with great vexation that they
"could make nothing of the dratted
old thing; they hadtwisted it to
right and left, and set it on its head,
and rolled it on its side andnever
a note of music could they get out
of it." And yet the musiustool
was a good stool. For ithe corn
fort of tho mothers of dull boys, let
me record a few instances of such
lads who turned out bright men
when the • key to their brightness
was found.
Isaac Newton, being then a boy
at the bottom of the class, was kick-
ed by the boys about him. He
fought the bully and beat him, out
of which victory arose the thought
that as he had beaten him with his
fists he might also do it with his
brains. And he did.
• Isaac Barrow, the divine, was a
quarrelseme idle boy. His father
said of him that "if it pleased. God
to take away any of Ms children, he
hoped it might be Isaac."
Adam Clark was pfonounned by
his father to be "a grievous dunce,"
-but it is. recorded by him that he
"could roll large stones about.'
.Take note of boys who can and do
roll largo stones about. They may
tae to rolling groat ideas about:.
Dr. Chalmers was expelled from
the parish school of St. Andrews as
. "an incorrigible dunce."
Walter -Scott, at Edinburgh Uni-
versity, was labelled by Professor
Dalzell, "dunce ho is and dunce he
will romain."
John Howard was an illustrious
- dunce, "learning nothing in seven
years."
And when I record that both
Napoleon and Wellington were
dull boys at school I am conscious
of closinr,°with eclat this brief ex-
cursus on dull boys.
COULD NOT SAY YES.
A Caramel Courtship and its
Conssquenoes.
Tho beau sat ou the sofa by the
lovliest of belles : "Miss Jones,"
he blushed and stammered, "I have
brought some caramels," "Oh,
thanks, -most awfully !" she gushed :
"like you they're just too sweet,"
and then at once her Longue was
hushed for she began to eat.
Now, caramels are sticky things,
and when too quickly chewed they
form a sticky paste that clings until
the jaws aro glued. Tho lover
watched his hungry dove, who
chewed without a stop, and thought,
"If I'm to win her love now is my
time to pop !"
So down he tumbled on his
knees and to his angeLsaid : "Miss
Jones! Oh, will you—wont you
please say "yes?" I want to wed."
Her heart against her corset knock-
ed. "Yes yes ?" she tried to say,
but couldn't—for her jaws were
locked, and turned her heed away.
"Oh, speak to Inc !" tho lover
cried, "do not my love discard."
But not a word the maid replied,
although she struggled hard. "Oh,
heavens? tell mo "yes" or "no"—
don't kill ine with suspense ; if you
won't talk," he screamed, "I'll go
4,14c1 g4:4„giti.
pprspiritstiell, cailittilk"440.A
TOO 4.4444.1t 414 wit.V aho
Wed to tear apart her ,tiPei but
04,41 .1.kn4the. atraiw 'Thett he,
w dignity: arose and end glared
at poor 4les 47.70ift AP4 140,144 a
bitter laugh that froze the .14;101"Ow
on berbon,ea,
oAdien 1" he groaned, 'I've got
the 844..." and started for the floor
Ow grabbed hie ceat pulled
him back, then fainted on the floor.
"My Stars r he gasped, "I've kill -
'her deed!" and water#on her threw,
while she, a nodding with her head,
came very slowly to.
- But when her tongued, at last
untied, burst with a thunder sound,
its "Yes! yes! yes I'll bo your
bride 1" was hoard for miles:around.
It's two years since the marriage
bells; now nothing cap or will, nor
even tons of caramels, keep that
dear woman still.
• Curious Finds..
—As some workmen were felling
timber near Herne Bay, they dis-
covered in the centre of one of the
trees a cavity in which ..were the
remains ofitoat. The skeleton was
entire. and some hair of a sandy
colour yet rgmained on the skin.
It is 3onjectured that the animal,
having entered a hollow part of the—
tree, was unable to extricate itself,
and the wood in process of years
had grown around it.
often have toads been found
enclosed in solid bodies, that it is
not surprising to read in a Scottish
paper that a servant while breaking
a large piece of coal for the fire was
startled to find in the centre of the
block a full-grown toad which ap-
peared to be in excellent health and
spirits. A less common discovery
was made in Birkenhead. A gentle-
man there was presented with a
cow's tongue which appeared to bo
perfect•in every respect. Aftor the
tongue was boiled, he discoVered a
piece of sandstone embedded in it,
about three-quarters of an inch in
length, half an inert in width, and a
quarter of an inch in thickness.
--Cats in their hunting expedi-
tions sometimes meet with an unto-
ward fate. The writer naw the
mummy -like remains of one of these
animals which had been discovered
in altering an old building. Froin
its peculiar appearance, the unfor-
tunate creature had evidently been
suddenly crushed flat, for, in its dy-
ing agonies,, its teeth had bitten
through a piece of wood about a
couple of inches square, which was
still embedded in its jaws. Some
of our readers'may recollect the cliffs
covery of a petrified cat in the cre-
vice of an old stone . wall during
some repairs in Newgate jail. In
the opinion of a natnralist, this cur-
iosity must have been in a petrified a
condition for some hund-reds of
years. - —
—A lady lost • her gold ring. a,
Some three years afterwards. the ,r
loser's cat caught a rat from whiek se
in
PNI14,r. .41 Murdered.
4 14:4 22: PAM Qi ORO, • ?tit°, Bara
he X RanAgt ,471,1110;404. came to
Detroit:a le* menthe ago from U'ititr
!It% Put I and went to work aa
demeatio in family, raz lianceek
alenee. While there she received
tOO atteuticies of an east side ealooa
keeper. 4.ator Rho_ worked on An.
Wine street, and from t4e house of
one of these be one (lay disappeared
without warning. Her brother came
to leek Iver up, hut Anding no trace of
her went back home. A Detroit
paper the other day published an
article declaring that bliss Dixon
was murdered and that her remains
were sewed up in a sack and thrown
into Detroit river below Wyandotte.
Tlfe article soya the yotiug woman
was taken by a man supposed to boeezp
doctor perfor e a criminal opera -
the saloon keep a house where a
tion on her. fhe girl sank rapidly,
and it was decided to make away
with the body. The preparations
were perfected before the gid was
dead, and when the patient seeming-
ly ceased to breathe a coffee sack
was brought in and the body hurried-
ly sewed up in it. There is reason
to believe that the girl was thrown
into the river when she was yet
alive, but while she Was unconscious.
It is said „the nitirderers will be ar-
rested.
•
The Biter Bitten. •
A. famous lecturer from the States
had signed a formal agreement to
lecture at Aberdeen for twenty
pounds, but beforelulfaling his en-
gagement his brilliant success else-
where made him regret his bargain
and endeavor to get more favourable
terms. Thereupon ensued the fol-
lowing correspondence, by telegraph
between the lecturer on the ono
side and tho Scotchman who had
made tho contract on the other :—
"Enormous success. Countless in-
vitations. Impossible to go to Aber-
deen under thirty pounds., Reply
paid." A Scotchmau is not born
to be taken in. Quito the contrary.
Donald, armed with the agreement
he has iu his pocket, does not put
himself about, but at once telegraphs
—"All right. Come." Encouraged
by this first success which promised
a rieh harvest of guineas in Scotland
Jonathan rubs his hands, and two
days later sends the following mos
sago off to *Donald :—"Invitations
more and more numerous: Impos-
sible to come to Aberdeen under
forty pounds. Reply paid." Don-
ald takes it quietly, and laughs in
his sleeve. lie tells the telegraph
messenger to wait, and promptly
scribbles off the following reply :
"All right. Come." Jonathan rubs
his hands harder than over, and I
can assure you that he swoulel havo
been a little surprised if you had
tord him that at the very moment
Donald was rubbing his too. Beam-
ing with joy, Jonathan reaches
Aberdeen, and delivers 'his lecture,
fter which Donald hands him a
heque for twenty pounds. "Twenty
unds-V2---W-hat do you mean -,1 ---Ifs
orty pounds you owe me." "You
.0 wrong," replies Donald, quietly;
hero is our. agreement, signed and
aled." "But I sent you a telegram
forming you that I could not
come for less than forty pounds."
"Exactly," replies Donald, quite
calmly. „"And you answered, "All
right. Come." ''Quite true."
Well then 7" "Wel), then, my
pear sir, it is all right. You came
and now you can go!' Jonathan
swore, but too late in the day.
"Ah rgcried the Aberdonian who.
told Inc the story, "Jonathan won't
go back to America and toll his
fellow -countrymen that he has taken
in a Scotchman." And his, eyes
shone -with patriotic pride.
For and Alaout. Women,
THEY MEET AS STRANGERS NOW.
pussy had eaten the bead. The
neck of the rat was exposed, and the
miler of the cat saw something
metallic glittering ou the rat's neck.
On examination this provedto be
the lost wedding -ring embedded in
the flesh. The ring must have been
carried by the old rat 'to its nest,
and a very young rat must have
thrust. its head into the ring. As
the animal grew larger each (fay its
novel collar' would become a fixture.
Tho wonder is how nature continued
to permit her living demands to be
suppliedthrough such a small cir-
cumference, yet the creature lived,
was fat, and lookednealthy.
. •
-.pound to Stay in a Church if the
• Roof Falls In.
A considerable , portion of the
time of the Hamilton presbytery
was consumed one day last week in
listening • to the statements of
rival deputations from two
Presbyterian churches in , the
Scotch biopic known as the "white"
• t.!'_clinrches
that the brick church was recently
daniaged by a wind storm; which
blew out the windows and loosened
one of the ends so as to make it
lean away about three inches from
the rest of the huildinc,„ The pres-
bytery directed the two,c'congrega-
tions to worship in the white church,
as a mason named Leitch, of Cale-
donia, declared that the brick struc-
ture was unsafe and could not bo
repaired. A mooting of tho
er rtation of the brick church was
called at..which only about thirty
were pl'esent, and they decided by
a vote of seven to fourteen to unite
with 'the "white" Congn
r'etion.
However when the main bodyeof
the congregation when they heard
of this refused to worship with the
brethren of the "white" and came
before the presbytery to declare
that they would rather risk their
lives by worshipping in an unsafe
church than go into the other.
both sides were largely represented
before the presbytery, and the hear-
ing of their statements created a
good deal of amusement. A com-
mittee of the presbytery was ap-
pointed to try to reconcile the
two frictions, but from the state-
ments made it is 'doubtful if they
will meet with much ditccess.
•
Pot First -Claes Printing, at low ratea, eon at'
tu NBWEI•RECORD0fiico.
Miss Delaney is Musical, and
when Chautmey Boston called there
tliaother evening she asked him to
sing. The poor fellow is bashful,
but obliaing, and he atteuiPted to
give her4his favorite.
"Thou aft so near and yet so far,
Beautiful star, beautiful star."
She.stood by the. piano just where
he could look into her fece,- and it
niust have •embarrased !tins, for he
fOrgot—the words and this was how
he rendered it
"Thou art so far, and yet so near,
Beautiful steer, beautiful steer."
She won't speak to him now, and
he vows to devote himself, hereafter
to songs without words,
THE CANNY HOUSEWIFE.
• In point of economy women are
much better to send to market than
men. Asa general thing, if a man
sees a roast that takes his fancy be
will order it sent, if it is large en.
ough for a family twice the size of his
own. He „hates to be thought stingy,
and if the butcher offers hint a piece
of meat a great deal larger than he
knows he neede, he haan't the Mere!
_courage to insist on something near
the amount he asked fOr. Then,
too, a woman is generally more on
the alert to see what kind of meat
she is getting, and if the butcher is
giving her full weight. It is a
good plan for both sides of the house
to know how to go to market in case
either one is temporarily disabled,
but the meats are generally bettor
when the feminind head is the purr
veyor.
DEATH IN THE DISHCLOTH,
A lady says in the Rural World
that during this month and next,
•
wbe040Woot you 4tret oOro.. :bgi„
•••,down w#4 ty.044k„.I.OYPrt „wh*
901,ghbore are neglecting thett,
worts to num ; WhIM, .049111,
aro huntiog in cellars *.n4 Old drip*
for thucauSe, ift me. whioperin your •
ear,look to your dielielothe; If
they be black *ad ti and smell
as "boneyards° it ia enough—
m a
tbrOW theta .the fire, and beneg%
forth and forever .wash your dishes
with clothe that are white, clothe
that you can eye through, and see if
you over have that disease again.
There are sometimes other conies,
but I have emelt a..whole houseful
of typhoid fever in one "dishrag."
THE CARE OF TUB BANDS.
While a true gentlewoman has
something better than a'pair of pret-
ty hands on which to base her claims
to "gentility," it is her right to
keep her hands as fair and smooth
as the faithful doing of her duties
will admit. "Who sweeps a rootn,`:
and sweeps it clean, makes the action
no less tine by wearing a pair of old
kid gloves during the process, and
the same is true of dusting, blacking
a stove, putting down carpets, deem-
ing kerosene lamps, end tuany other
household duties that fall to the
'pothers and daughters in litanies
w -here no servant is kept. it is
.quite possible with proper Care to do
the majority of these tasks without
serious injury to the havds, and it is
often ri false pride diet prevents one
from naing the necessary precautions
The ocCasional washing of the hands
with corn meal MO borax soap, in
tepid water, helps to.keep them soft,
and glycerine mixed with lemon
juice is excellent to apply at night.
131sHOP CLEARY ON CANADIAN GIRLS.
Not many females iu Canada
would be frightened at the appear-
ance of a man. Nothing struck me
so much on coming to Canada is the
contrast hetween the women here
and those of the old country. There,
through centurion of advancing
civilization, society has lean brought
to kat highest developineut, and we
see womanly character /111
purity and eiddesty. All females
are trained ie modest thought 'awl
action front childhood up. No
sereaming in the cars, or in public
places; men not stared out of couti—
tenatice and brought to blush for the
immodesty of the females they e•
either in public or private. Girls
women are quiet and 'kindest of de.
meat -tor, avoiding that attention of
strangers, and paying doe respect
to parents and their elders. How
different here I. everywhere We meet
the scrtsaming 'woman or the rude,
boisterous girl. Tho public schools
are schools- of --corruption, the abomi-
nation of the country. ..Girls are
trained to be hold and impudent,
and without that modesty which we
admire in the Virgin Mary,- and
which should ' be the pride' of
women."
---
• HANDS oFF.
There is nothing, 'my young
friend, that you should guard
so. -scrupuloniily as your own
womanly delicacy, brush the bloom
offfrom a peat!), rudely touch the
petals of a lily and half of thier
beauty is gone. It is impossible
for you or any other woman to allow
yourself to ho carressed by your
young men 'acquaintances without
losing somewhat•of that purity and
modesty that you should wear
always as a queen her ,robes of
royalty. You will be sure then
to preatrve not only their respect,
but what- is of fade more inportance
that of self.. Nor need this preser-
vation of personal dignity savor one
whit of prudery. You can be just
as bright, as merry and friendly
while saying by your manner should
it bo .necessary, "hands off," asyOu
esn possibly be by permitting these
sentimental demonstrations. They
are not necessary to the good cotn-
raideship, which is all that should
exist bet weeriyou and any masculine
friend Until you are Sure that you
posiois the true and tender love of
tho one man who has made hiniself
your heart's king,a !eve which holds
you !sacred, as every true inau bolds
the woman he would wake his wife
and the mother of his children.
And believe we, even if you are not
yet certain- that this prince loves
you as you desire to be loved by
him, he will not bo any easier won
should you yield to caresses pronip,
ted hy a passing mood, but rather
repelled from you, for it is human
nature not to . valuo what is easily
or cheaply obtained.
-RILL HEADS, NOTE
Iletal4, Letter Heady, Tao,
Statements, Circulars, Business
Cards, Envelopes, Program meat
etc., ete., printed in a workman•
like manner and at low rates, a,
THE SEIVS4iF:CORD Office.
LUMBER WANTED !
Cantelon's Carriage Works 1
OT_,II\T'110/\1", , .
MI kinds and nothing but first-class, as wd are
now building a fine onnrtment of rigs. Do not
tali to call and see them. All kinds of work fa
specialty. S. A. CANTELON, Clinton.
, Town
FOR SALE,
VII OE PROPERTY
'
MILE EXECUTORS AND TRUSTEBS of the
ratete at the lake ./Ofigert Itsan offer tor sale
the frdiewing rstualmo property. namely
Lett InialbStS 420 and 421, in the
ToW2201120derich, quarter of 411 acre Gael), !lady
fenced and very 444,1reble for building purposes.
litelf•aere JAkff011ting Hill *toed, Township of
Golterieb, being part et lot 8 in the Maitland
Concesalon of the said Township. Nice frame
cottageipdtraine stable.
Lot nuMber 8, south ride Of Mlnar street, Dew
miller, quarter of an aers. Small frame dwell-
ing,
Eitiktielt Late numbera 808 and 804, In the
Town of Clinton, quarter ot an acro each, beam
Mealy situated on south sidp of Huron street;
tairly fenced.
Ths East Half of Lot 22, con. 24, West Wawan
osh; good land, 50 acres cleared and fenced, re-
mainder timbered; about 4 miles from Lucknow
and ft from, Wingham; good roads.
For further particulars apply to
E. CAMPION,
41041 Barrister, Ooderleb.
A. A. BENNETT,
—THE LEADING—
FUNERFIL DIRECTOR
—AND—
EMBALMER,
Bed Rocker Store,
ALBERT ST. CLINTON:
"BELL'
ORGANS
Unapproached for
:„4-',--•• Tone and Quality.
CATALOGUES FREE,
BELL & CO,, Guelph -I -Ont.
'611E§COCIC FIS COLif,„
F5SE N EaSE:tc.:
NEWSPAPER. LAWS
We call the special attention of Post
nesters and sebscribers to the following
synopsis of the newspaper laws :-
1-4 postmaster is required to give
aotice BY LETTER (returning a paper does
Dot answer the law) when a subscriber does
not take his paper out of the office; and
state the reason for its not belie, taken.
Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster
responsible to the publishers for payment.
2—If arty person orders his paper dis-
zoutinued, he must pay all arrearages 01
the publisher may continue to send it
until payment is made, and collect ,t1u.
whole amount, whether it be taken froir
the office or not. There can be no lege,
discontinuance until the payment is made
3—Any person who takes a paper from
the post-offine, whether directed to id
name or another, or whether he has sub
scribed or not, is responsible for the pay.
4—If a subscriber orders his paper to In
stoppbet at a certain time, and the publish
er continues to send, it the subscriber i:
hound to pay for it if he Indies it out of th
post -office. This proceeds upon the growl,
that a andn must pay for what he IISCE.
0 0 0
fgrIn the Division Conrt in Goderieh
at the November sitting a newspaper put -
hailer sued for pay of paper. The defend-
ant objected paying on the ground that he
had ordered a former proprietor of the
paper to discontinue it. The .Tusige held
that that wait not a valid defence. The
plaintiff, the present proprietor, had no
notice to discontinue and consequently
could collect, although it was not denied
that defendant had notified former pro.
prietor to discontinue. In any event
defendant WWI bound to pay for the thee
he had received the paper and until he
had paid all arrears due for subscription.
CHURCH DIRECTOR'.
St. Paul a Church.—ServIces on Sunday at 11
a.m. ind 7 p. in. Bible Class, 10 a.m. Sunday
School, 2.80 p.m. Service on WedneSday, 8 p.m
REV. WILLIAM OltAIO, B. D., Rector
Rattenbury Street Methodist —Seryleek at 10.30
1. m. end 7.00 p. in. Sabbath School at 2.30 p.
m. Ray. MR. RUPERT, Pastor.
Canada Presbyterian.— Serviees at 11 a.m. and
8,30 p. m Sabbath School, 2.20 p. m. Ray
ALEX. STEWART, Pastor.
Ontario Street Methodist.—Service, at 10.30 a.
m. and 7.00 p. in Sabbath School, 2.30 p.m.
Ray. W. W. SPARIANO, Pastor.
Baptist,Chureh.—Serviee at 0.30 p. m. Sab
bath School, 2.80 p. m. Ray J, Ca AY PaStOr.
EIDES,.i• SHEEPSKIN'S,
&a.
Highest market price paid. Brin
them along,
A. COUCH, BUTCHER
CLINTON. 8fibtf
SPECIAL NOTICES.
•
PIMP,LES• for a simple VEUETABLE BALM
I will mall (rees) the recipe
the., wit. REMOVE TAN, FRECKLES, PD111,88 and
Bboreints, leaving the skin soft, Joker and beauti
ful; also instructions for producing a luxuriant
growth of hair on a bald 'head or smooth face.
Address, including 3c stamp. BEN. VANDELF
CO., CO Ann street, N. Y. 302y
MANHOQD
Restored. A gentleman having innocently con•
tracted the habit of sclf.abuse in his youth, and
in consequence suffered oar he horrors of Sexual
Incapacity, Lost Manhood, Physical Decay, Oen.
eral Prostration, etc., will, out of sympathy fer
his fellow sufferers, mall tree the recipe by which
he was finally cured. Address in confidence J.
W. PINKNEY, 42 Cedar. Now York St... 892.
•
PEMMICAN'S • .
WORM POWDERS.
Aro ploaeant to tako. Contain their own
Purgative. Is a onto, intro, and offeetnaf
&Strayer ot worms in Children or adults
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CLOTHING.
ABRAHAM SMITH,
Market Square,
GODERIOII.
WEST • OF ENGLAND SUIT.
INGS & TROUSERINGS, .
SCOTCH • TWEED SUITINGS (Cc
..TROLTSERINGS, -
FRENCH AND ENGLISH Walt-
STED CLOTHS;
-
Made up in Best Style and Work-
mans14 at Abraham Smith's, .
.Now in stock one of the cheapest
• and best stocks af
WINTER CLOTHING
AND CLOTHS:
A Full Line of GENTS' FUR-
NISHINGS always in stock,
It will pay you to call on
ABRAHAM SMITH.
ATTENTION 1
FARMERS!
Implements!
Implements !
McCORM ICK SELF4,13INDERS,
REAPERS, MOWERS,
SEED DRILLS, HORSE RAKES
• PLOWS,
CUTTING BOXES, SHELLERS,
ETC., ETC.,
And all Implements used on a farm
as Good as the Best, and m Cheap
as the Cheapest, at
J. B. WEIR'S
IMPLEMENT NAREROOMS,
CLINTON, ONTARIO,