The Citizen, 2016-06-09, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 9, 2016. PAGE 5.
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Try to leave 'em laughing
Saddest thing I read in the news this
week? A five -word newspaper headline
over a story announcing the death of
Alan Young, aged 96.
Chances are you're too young to remember
Mister Young, but if you've accumulated
enough tree rings, I'll bet you remember
Mister Ed.
For the rest of you striplings, Mister Ed
wasn't technically a mister. He was a `talking'
horse who starred in his own TV show for four
seasons back in the 1960s.
Alan Young played Mister Ed's straight man
on the show. Hence the sad headline I referred
to earlier: ACTOR LISTENED TO TALKING
HORSE.
You never know how people are going to
remember you after you croak. Which makes it
a good idea to... write your own headline,
assuming you get the chance.
Oscar Wilde did. On his deathbed in a seedy
hotel in Paris the Irish wit took one look at his
surroundings and sniffed "Either this
wallpaper goes or I do."
The Welsh poet Dylan Thomas was less
witty, more matter of fact. Following a pub
crawl through the streets of New York in 1953,
AOArthur
Black
a woozy Thomas patted his mouth and
observed "I've had 18 straight whiskeys. I
believe that's a record".
It was also his parting line. Thomas
collapsed and ended up in a coma. A week
later he was dead. Of — quelle surprise —
alcohol poisoning,.
Last words don't have to be depressing.
Bob Hope, for instance, managed to get
off a rather snappy exit line. A funny one too,
as befits a man who spent his life trying to
make people laugh. When his wife asked
the dying comedian if he had any preferences
as to where he would be buried, he looked
up at her, winked and whispered "Surprise
me."
On that subject, O. Henry, the short
story writer who specialized in surprise
endings had a surprise ending himself.
As family gathered around him on his
deathbed his breathing got fainter and fainter.
"Is he dead?" one whispered. "I can't tell,"
said another. "Feel his feet," advised the
attending doctor, "Nobody ever died with
warm feet".
At which point Mister Henry sat up, blurted
"Joan of Arc did!" And fell back dead.
But if I had to pick the most poignant curtain
call, I'd give the nod to Major General
John Sedgwick, commanding officer of the
Union forces at the Battle of Spotsylvania
Court House during the American Civil
War. The Feds were lined up facing the rebel
forces who were dug in several hundred yards
away. The Union boys, wary of deadly rebel
snipers, were showing no inclination to march
toward the enemy. Major General Sedgwick,
in an effort to rally the forces, stood up, glared
at the enemy lines disdainfully, then turned
back to his own troops and roared: "What!
what! men, dodging this way for single
bullets! What will you do when they open fire
along the whole line? I am ashamed of you.
Why, they couldn't hit an elephant at this
dist..."
It is a simple matter of respect
To some extent, if someone decides to
live in the spotlight, they give up certain
expectations to freedom and privacy
and living a normal life.
It's an uncomfortable reality for me to face
because it means that, as a fan, I've contributed
to the fact that someone who brings me such
happiness as some of my favourite artists are
denied the right to do things like go for a walk,
go out for dinner or perform their art without
being assaulted with camera flashes, requests
for autographs and people begging for
insufferable selfie after selfie.
Like I said, however, to some extent,
anyone who wants to become a performer has
to realize that, if they make it big, they are
going to have to realize the only peace and
quiet they will get will be when they are
completely shut off from the outside world —
whether through people actually trying to
record every moment of their life or having to
re -watch those recorded moments, they will
realize that they live their life very much in
front of the world.
It bothers me a little because some of the
moments when I find the most peace are when
I'm sitting on my deck listening to music or
driving down the highway with my windows
open playing an album on my car stereo. While
I use music to relax, the people who make the
songs and albums that I listen to are denied
that very same opportunity.
I'm sure the millions upon millions of
dollars they make will soften the blow
somewhat, however, that peace and quiet is
something that I would be hard pressed to put
a dollar value on.
A celebrity not being able to go outside
without having their picture taken of is one
thing I can feel some of the collective guilt that
society should all share for the way we put
these artists on pedestals, however, I saw it
sink to a new low last week when I attended a
Meat Loaf concert in London.
Meat Loaf was the soundtrack of my youth
(which seems a lot closer than it actually
was).
I had cassettes of his work when all I had
was a mobile cassette player and CDs when
my parents later bought me a boom box.
When I first started driving my father's old
Ford Focus, it was done with Bat out of Hell
and Bat out of Hell II: Back Into Hell playing
on the stereo whenever and wherever I went.
Even now, when I'm making those long trips
to visit friends in Toronto or even further
afield, I usually throw some Meat Loaf on my
phone so I can listen to a tune or three and sing
along.
To say his music had a profound effect on
my musical tastes would be an understatement
so, as I'm sure most of you read, I had to take
the opportunity to see him while he was still
touring.
To answer the question that I get asked the
most about the experience: the show was
entertaining. It made me wish I hadn't missed
the other concerts he had put on in my life and
made me wish, as I lamented in last week's
column, that I had been bolder in my youth
and tackled those opportunities as they came
up.
While a couple of things stuck in my craw
about the evening (who shows up late to a
show with no opening act? Seriously?), the
one thing that affected me the most was the
fact that people used Meat Loaf, this man who
had shaped much of my childhood, this artist
who has been giving of his talent for decades
and is now approaching 70 years old, as a prop
for selfies.
Meat Loaf may not be the big ticket
act he once was, so there wasn't a line of
bouncers or a metal divider between him
and the audience who took the floor seats
which meant he was literally a couple feet
away from people who wanted to run up to
the bottom of the stage. I thought that was
cool — had I got tickets down there, I would
have likely got as close as I could to take a
picture with my phone and commemorate the
event.
Maybe this is just my experience as a
photographer speaking, but the relationship
between a person being photographed and a
person taking a picture is a defined one — the
person with the camera wants to mark this
moment in either their life or the life of the
subject of the photograph.
People running up to the stage and getting
up -close shots of Meat Loaf were doing
so because they wanted to mark the event
and I respect that and I think it was pretty
cool he put so little between himself and his
fans.
Taking a selfie, however, is something
entirely different.
Selfies, or pictures where someone puts
themselves in front of a subject, thus making
them the focus of the picture, have always
shown me that the person taking the
picture wants to make themself the focus of
the image.
At that point, whatever is in the background
becomes less important than what it was: a
photo of the Eiffel Tower, an impressive
structure with historical, cultural and
architectural value, becomes a backdrop;
the pyramids in Egypt go from tombs and
objects of reverence to a blurry beige shape
behind someone who is way too close to the
phone and artists become little more
than props for someone's Facebook profile
picture.
To say I was angry when people were
standing 15 feet away from the stage to make
sure they could get enough of their face
alongside Meat Loaf, using him as little more
than a backdrop, wouldn't be correct. I wasn't
angry, I was sad.
My reverence for Meat Loaf may be tied too
closely to my nostalgia of childhood, but to see
this man who has one of the best-selling
albums of all time (only behind artists like
Pink Floyd, AC/DC and Michael Jackson) be
made the equivalent of one of those fake -
looking cloth backdrops we used to have for
school photos troubled me greatly.
Fortunately, for my enjoyment of the show,
I didn't really reflect on it until afterwards
and it didn't take away from my enjoyment
of it. That said, it will always be something
that I'm reminded of whenever I see the
pictures of the show I did take or pull on the
concert t -shirt.
Final Thought
A teacher who is attempting to teach,
without inspiring the pupil with a desire to
learn, is hammering on a cold iron.
— Horace Mann
411. Shawn
005 Loughlin
Shawn's Sense
Profit margins
Jn Huron County, people tend to garner
attention for the right reasons. We, at The
Citizen, try to highlight those situations and
perhaps that's why people have come to love
what it is we do.
Increasingly, however, in other parts of the
world, they just aren't so lucky. Whether it's
fear or a conservative push -back after years of
being politically correct, people are out there
doing unethical things and getting rewarded
for it.
This is nothing new. It's not even something
new in this column. It's something I've
definitely touched on before.
Whether it was Kim Kardashian becoming
famous because of a sex tape or musicians
stripping their way to the top, I've discussed
the aspect of the changing world where it's not
necessarily hard work, dedication and an
obligation to all things right and true that gets
you to the top. It's... something else.
While it's sad to say, I can almost look back
on the Kardashians of the world now and
laugh. For that was a time when no one was
getting hurt because of these antics. It was just
a harmless little sex tape.
Things have taken a much darker turn in
recent years.
Donald Trump is likely the World
Heavyweight Champion of this new
movement. He says all the wrong things (in the
eyes of many), does things we've been told for
years not to do (including promoting racism,
sexism and most of the other 'isms you can
think of — including fascism if you listen to
Robert Kagan of The Washington Post) and is
unapologetically rude, confrontational and in -
your -face about it; only to see his popularity
rise every time the average person figures he's
finally done himself in.
It's in this Bizarro World (an invention of
DC Comics in 1960 — a planet on which up is
down and bad is good) fashion that we find
George Zimmerman, the man known around
the world as the killer of Trayvon Martin.
Many found it a travesty that Zimmerman
was found not criminally responsible for
killing Martin (it was decided that he was
within his rights to defend himself when he
shot the 17 -year-old) and were outraged,
when, at the end of the trial, he was given his
gun back.
In legal terms, it was the right thing to do.
Zimmerman was found not guilty, so there's no
reason he shouldn't have the gun returned. It
was his, he paid for it and the fact that he used
it to defend himself — arguably the very reason
you might buy a gun — shouldn't mean he loses
it.
In ethical terms, however, it was seen as yet
another slap in the face to black folks across
America. Many felt that not only can white
people across the country kill blacks with
impunity, but they won't so much as have their
weapons taken away from them if they do.
That was a few years ago now. Fast -forward
to today and Zimmerman decided to rid
himself of the gun — and he was paid over
$100,000 to do so.
There are clearly people in the world who
value the fact that the gun was used to kill a
black teenager that would make them pay
anywhere between $100,000 and nearly
$190,000 (reports have yet to confirm the final
figure).
So, here's Zimmerman with a healthy
payday all as a result of doing something that
the vast majority of North Americans think
was wrong.
It's not right, and it's not fair — but it does
seem to be the way of the world these days.