The Lucknow Sentinel, 1964-07-22, Page 12•
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.PAGE. TWELVE
THE LUCKNOW SENT,INEL,, LUCKNOW, GNTAI
SUGAR
and.
SPICE
By BILL SMILE '..
MAN'S WORST :MADNESS;
Great strides have been. made
in the twentieth century toward
the conquering of disease, One.
after another, typhoid, smallpox
diptheria, polio and whooping,
cough have'. been knocked on the
head. And the • medical people are
hot on the .trail of cancer. ".
That'swhy it's so discouraging
to realizethat while today's med-
iicine-men have 'had their . noses
• glued• to a test-tube, a little virus,
that at first,seemed harmless,
has sneaked aound behindthem,
spread • with' the• stealth • of spilled
maple syrup, ' and is now result-
;ing in an epidemic. of . appalling.
proportions.
Worse still, . there is no drug
that' will 'kill for it is not ..a phys-
ical ailment but ' a mental aber- -
ration.. Already this highly con-
tagious mania has hit , so ' many
people . • that it's not likely any-
thing will stop . its ravages of the
race except the radio -active fall-
out that .will :stop everything one.
of these, days.
Its symptoms are, unmistake-
able, its victims easily discerned.
When under an attack,. they . will:
• suddenly leave work,, in the middle
of the afternoon; : miss the : fun-
erals : , of close relatives; skip
meals,- though . they love their vie-
'
tuals;' desert their loved ones at
all •.sorts . of odd hours; . inexplic-
able recover from pain or illness
-that would have them moaning
in bed, in the winter. Oh yes,
this disease is mostprevalent in
summer, as. polio was.
•This mental illness- to ' which
I refer, of course, is that ancient
and honourable . state of mind
it's' not a game and , don't ever
think it is -. called -golf.
Don't snort, gentle 'reader. 'Per-
haps ' you have thus far escaped
the anaconda coils of this ser-
pent -like sport but you're not safe
unless you're over 90, bed -ridden,
and the relatives are sitting around
wishing you'd .,hurry . up and die
so they could. get -out and hit ;a
hole in. one.
• Just the other day I' was sitting
on 'a bench at the • 7th tee. An el-
derly man came up, playing with
two other. ' He let them go
on
without him, and . collapsed beside
me. "Played ,whuff uff six holes to-
day," he wheezed triumphantly.
`Sad a' .whuff heart attack two
weeks ago,' whuff. Gotta take ..tt
easy. ',,Played whuff ` three ' holes
yesterday. I'll make whuff nine
tomorrow."
Golf used to be a game for.
rich. people and'a few; 'profession-
als: It was associated with coun-
try clubs, . snobbery ' and social
climbing.:"Boit something has hap-
pened in the last decade, and we
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