The Citizen, 2017-02-02, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2017. PAGE 5.
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When did cats take over the world?
?
/' not sure if you noticed but last week
Nazem Kadri's cat became as famous (or
more so) for a couple of days, as her owner,
a star centre with the Toronto Maple Leafs
who was raised in London.
Kadri's cat Jazzi's exploits are broadcast on
its own Instagram account, and since cats have
more fans than the Maple Leafs, Jazzi may
have been more famous than her owner, for a
few days at least. Jazzi's fame will
undoubtedly be fleeting because some other
cat or dog is sure to muscle her out as the latest
social media sensation a day or so later. Every
day there's a short video of some pet doing
something cute that not only gets passed
around the internet but even gets picked up by
regular television stations looking for
something to add a little levity to newscasts
full of murders, avalanches and Donald
Trump's outrages. The more views a pet video
has received online, the more likely you'll see
it on television. Like the Kardashian family,
dogs and cats are becoming famous for being
famous.
Andy Warhol's prediction that in future
everyone would be famous for 15 minutes has
now been extended to your cat, which seems
entirely fitting because today pets seem to
have been elevated to a higher place in North
American society than people. In fact it often
seems that the real purpose of humans is to
give their dogs and cats lives of leisure and
pleasure.
I don't have any pets anymore. I haven't the
Keith
Roulston
From the
cluttered desk
time or the money to support them in
the manner cats and dogs are apparently
entitled to these days. I'm hopelessly old-
fashioned. When I grew up on the farm more
years ago than I like to admit, dogs and
cats were kept, at least in part, for practical
reasons. Cats in the house and barn kept
down the mice and rats that were an inevitable
part of rural life. If you had an especially
smart and well-trained dog, he might help herd
the cattle from the pasture to the barn at
milking time. We never had a dog that clever
(most of ours were minimally -trained mutts)
but the family dog was still useful for scaring
off foxes and other predators from the
chickens.
Of course back then we kids were
expected to be useful around the farm too. We
were to weed the garden, feed smaller
livestock, help with housework and drive
tractors as soon as we were old enough.
Today, like animals, kids have been elevated
in modern society. Now the purpose of
parents seems to be to cater to the every whim
of their children without ever expecting
anything in return. Children in families where
they're actually assigned chores consider
calling in child welfare authorities.
But kids are on a lower rung of society than
pets because the kids grow up and eventually
have to make their own way in the world.
Pets can expect to be catered to forever.
And strangely, while we're bringing in
legislation to allow people to avoid
prolonged, painful deaths, for a considerable
number of pet owners the idea of their pet's
life ending is so unthinkable that they'll spend
a small fortune on veterinarians' bills for
operations and other procedures to prolong
its life, even if it sometimes means
additional suffering for the animal while it
recuperates.
The one obligation our pets seem to have
these days is to entertain us. Now even in the
practical old days on the farm we were often
amused by our pets but with the advent of the
cell phone video cameras, the internet and
social media, the cute things your animals do
can be shared with the world.
Pet owners can get their own 15 minutes of
fame by broadcasting the funny antics of their
animals. In fact I'm expecting any day now
that PETA or some other animal rights group
will recognize that this is really exploitation of
animals by humans and call for a halt to this
abuse. At the very least I can see them deciding
that the animals should be properly
compensated — say with a more expensive
brand of pet food.
What an age of miracles we live in
For years I have been saying to my wife,
as a matter of fact, I've been saying it to
her since before she became my wife,
that there needs to be some better way of
making grocery lists than pen and paper.
It's just so danged final. You finish writing it
out and you run out the door and, like that,
you're in a grocery store where you may not
have cell service, or you may have forgotten
your phone at home so when your partner
inevitably discovers you're out of something
else that's needed for dinner, you end up
having to run out again.
In case you're not following me here, I'll
paint a scene for you.
It's a Saturday, shortly after lunch. Ashleigh
and Mary Jane and I are sitting in the living
room and, knowing we have just about enough
time to thaw whatever meat will be necessary,
I ask Ashleigh what she would like for dinner.
She smiles and says spaghetti and meat
sauce would be wonderful and I agree. I mean,
who doesn't like spaghetti?
I get the meat out and discover, lo and
behold, that we're out of tomato sauce. Not a
big deal. I can run to the local grocery store
and pick up a few cans.
Before I leave, however, Ashleigh and I
scour the kitchen to see what breadmaking
ingredients we need, we check our stock of
sugar and sweetener for our respective coffees,
look to see how much milk and cream we have
and make sure we have ice cream in the freezer
(Trust me, the best advice I can give for
keeping a happy wife is to find out what her
favourite dessert is and keep it stocked).
After scouring the kitchen, pantry and
freezer to make sure we've got what we need
for the next few days, I set out to the grocery
store, list in hand.
From there on out, however, anything that
Ashleigh discovers may or may not make it on
the list.
Shortly after I leave the house, Ashleigh
Denny
Scott
Denny's Den
discovers that we are out of parmesan cheese.
She tries to call me, but in the hustle and bustle
of the supermarket, which includes running
into people and chatting, I miss the call. I
come home and have to turn around and go
back out.
Let me give you another scenario — Mary
Jane's toys all sing and dance and light up.
She's at the age where that will keep her
enthralled (and therefore happy, quiet and out
of trouble) for minutes on end.
Those toys, however, all require batteries
and most of them don't use the nice stash of
rechargeable AA batteries. They all use Cs or
Ds. Suffice to say, running out of the batteries
to make her toy aquarium run, which is
integral to her sleep routine, isn't good.
If bed time rolls around and the aquarium's
normally dulcet tones turn nightmarish as the
batteries give up the ghost, it's a bad thing.
It falls to me to scavenge through the house,
checking every storage closet, nook, cranny
and junk drawer hoping to cobble together
enough batteries to get the thing running again.
Fortunately, I find some batteries hidden away
(what for, I don't know, I'm pretty sure kids'
toys are the only things that use such
monstrous batteries) and we get the toy going
so Mary Jane can go to sleep.
At that point, I should put batteries on
the shopping list, but who knows when I'm
going to be shopping? I could work sun -up to
sun -down the next day. Regardless, I put
batteries on the list on the fridge and sure
enough, the next time I go shopping, I don't
come home first, I go straight from work with
a texted list from my wife. Guess what wasn't
on it?
So, like I said, there has to be a better way of
handling the grocery list.
Fortunately for me, I recently found out I'm
right, thanks to the talents of Google.
There is a program called `Google Keep'
which allows people to do all sorts of great
things with their phones.
Lists can be made, ideas can be quickly
jotted down and it's all kept in one place.
The most amazing thing about the program,
however, is how you can share that
information with other people.
I have a list called "Groceries," and, on it are
"C Batteries, AA batteries, Mayonnaise and
Tax Software."
I didn't put all those things on the list
however — Ashleigh, at my request, put tax
software on the list this morning because when
it occurred to me that we would soon need it, I
figured better put it on there now.
We share the list so when one of us adds
something, even if we're in the middle of the
grocery store, the other one can see it. The
person at home can also watch as items are
checked off the list.
The best part about it — unlike those reusable
bags you keep forgetting in the car every time
you go shopping — is the list reminds you not
only what you need to pick up, but reminds
you when you need to pick it up.
I've got my list set on a GPS -based alert. My
phone knows when I get to a local grocery
store or supply store and alerts me to the fact
that there are things I need to pick up.
Some people might be a bit freaked out by
the fact that their phone knows where they are,
but I say, as long as I'm being tracked by
something that's a necessity for my job, I
might as well make use of it.
If you share a home with anyone, get the
software, it will save everyone repeat trips.
Shawn
Loughlin
ALIMIllik Shawn's Sense
The bigger, the better?
This is not the first time I have written
about this, nor do I feel it will be the
last. I know that because no matter how
many times local politicians suggest getting
bigger and it's voted down — it always
reappears in a slightly different form.
Last month it was Ashfield-Colborne-
Wawanosh Reeve Ben Van Diepenbeek who
suggested that Huron County councillors stop
dancing around the subject of a single -tier
government — and along with it the sharing of
numerous services throughout the county —
and just correctly identify the nature of the
discussion they were having, rather than
implying it without saying it. If we were
talking about American politics here, we might
use the term "dog whistle politics" but I don't
think that's what's going on here.
Councillors aren't attempting to hide
anything here or say one thing by saying
another. Heck, I don't even think Van
Diepenbeek is necessarily an advocate for
single -tier government, I think he was just the
one who stood up and urged councillors to be
clear with one another and with ratepayers
about the nature of the conversation.
Every time the idea of a single -tier
government comes up, local councillors
always find positives. If the county were to buy
all of its public works trucks at the same time,
for example, ratepayers everywhere would all
save money. Or, if firefighting or recreation
were services administered by the county,
there would be savings due to bulk purchasing
and efficiencies created by fewer employees
doing more jobs.
As I have said before (and will no doubt say
again), I have no idea how councillors in
Huron County can have this mindset when
they are so often the victims of government
and regulations that have grown out of control.
One can't go to a coffee shop or speak to
someone on the street for more than five
minutes without hearing lament regarding the
upper-level institutions and how out of touch
they are with everyday people like those of us
who live and work in Huron County.
We have Premier Kathleen Wynne, who now
has the lowest -ever approval rating for a sitting
premier. She has handed down hydro costs that
ask everyday people like you and me to pay for
the mistakes of her government.
Controversial decisions are always made at
either the provincial or federal levels that make
life in Huron County more difficult. Whether
it's the Provincial Policy Statement governing
planning matters or the shifting funding model
for healthcare, the big boys are making it
tougher and tougher for us.
So... who do we turn to? We only have each
other. If you live and work in Huron County, I
can rely on you to know what life is like for
me, and vice versa.
Under a single -tier system, all of that goes
away. I would challenge locals to name
members of the Huron County Public Works
Department or the Planning Department.
Decisions made by these people affect us, but
they are often made at an arm's length. You
likely don't stand a chance of running into one
of these people at the local arena or at the local
restaurant on a Thursday night.
Why then would an entire population that
knows what it's like to be disenfranchised by
the upper tiers of government that constantly
focus on Toronto and other urban centres seek
to create a system like that for themselves?
Under a single -tier system, you can kiss all
the jobs, power and decision-making abilities
goodbye. They'll all be moving to Goderich
and you'll never seen them again.