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Lucknow Sentinel, 1892-07-01, Page 61,4 rl 4 Wishing. A. Youth. beelike the water sits, The noonday sun is warmly beaming ; — His nose and neck are turkey red. • ss. His eyes with -radiant hope is- gleaining. Be watches close the bobbing cork • Advance upon the tiny billows ; A erk, a swish, and high above He lands a sucker in the willows. That's fishing. A fair maid trips the tennis court, A dozen eyes admire her going; Her black-andsyellow blazer burns A hole right through thesunsersiglowing, She drives the ball across the net, And into hearts consumed with wishing She drives a dart from Cupid's bow; She'll land a sucker. too. She's 11ihing. That'is fishing. The politician on his rounds Tackles both workingmen and granger; He tries to make them think that he Alone can save the land from danger. He chucks the baby on the chin, He says your wile looks really youthful And thoughyou know you're fifty-five, Yon look just twenty—if he's truthful. That' fishing. My little wife beside me stands And stealsn dimpled aim around me ; A kiss upon my lip—that's bait,— Some information to astound me. Her bonnet is quite out of style, Her summer wrap quite past the using; 1 That lovely one—so cheap—at Brown's Is just the one she would be choosing. That's fishing. So whether the game be fish or men, The bait be kisses, worms or blushes— The place at home, by sunny pool, Or tennis ground at evening's hushes— 'Tis the old game the serpent played With Mother Eve in Eden's bowers, And Adam's sons and daughters all, Will love the sport to time's last hours. That's fishing. —John W. Matthews in American Angler. VAN TWILLER'S ALIBI. THE snow hail been failing for several minutes in little eddying gnats, and already an appreciable , number of flakes were collecting on the cape of Miss Dorothy Dempsey's storm ' coat, as she turned into Fifty-fourth street at a swinging pace. On her head, framed by a soft halo of brown hair, in which the drops of 'moisture glistened here and there, a dark English walking hat had slipped coquettishly to one side. Her cheeks were brilliant from the cutting wind, and her eyes shone with exhilaration as she battled against the storm. To insignificant Bettie Carey, advancing from the opposite direction, she appeared like a delightful vision ; a delight consider- ably influenced, of course, by the fact that she belonged to the right "set " of visions, or Bartie, being so little a msn, would not have looked a second time. Indeed, it, is doubtful whether anything short of Doro- thy's genealogy on the maternal aide would have induced him to give up his daily genie of dominoes at the club and wheel about to join her promenade with such urbane oblivion to the coolness of his reception. "e7And it is not likely that at any other time Mita+ Dempsey would have resented his in- trusion quite so hotly; but unfortunately for him, ber memory, still retained with vigor a graphic description, detailed to her only the previous evening by her Cousin Jack, during which, excited to unusual emphasis by Carey's last faux pas, he had gone ao far as to declare him "a consum- mate ass, not fit for decent society." Dorothy, having agreed with him in spirit, if not to the letter, felt that she %Vas vial - lied in taking strong measures on this ()Cott- . sten. To walk down the avenue in his comptny, at an hour when all her dear " Four Hun- dred" friends would be abroad and glancing curiously from their brougham windows or over their shoulders, was a reflection on her taste and discrimination which she was not ready to endure. Accerdingly, before the preliminary greetings were fairly over, she was racking her brain for some way of die missing him. In vain she meditated a dozen clever feminine mancenvres that, under any other. circumstances or in any other locality, would have been practicable. • It was Carey himself who finally provided her with the means of escape. "Awfully jolly, this unexpected pleasure of a stroll with you," he murmured, ignor- ing the gait that was rapidly reducing • him to breathlessness. " Yea, indeed," returned Dorothy, with false sincerity, "only it can't be a verylong one, as I intend making a call in this block." This with unblushing effrontery, although well aware that she -could wails on to the North River without finding a name on her list. "A mutual friend ? " inquired Carey. " I think not." "This meat be the house, then, since it • is the last one. " Thanks, yes. I suppose you will be at the Gray's. , Good afternoon." - "�h, the Gray's !" cried, Carey , fired to fresh recollection .; "haven't you heard ? Then, if I may, I will wait and see if your friend iii in ; if not, we will continue our chat." , Now, Miss Dorothy, being an independent and somewhat peremptory young lady, and having gone to all the trouble and risk of this subterfuge, was anything but pleased at h turn which left her unwittingly out- witted. But, having gone .so far, it was, necessary to play the farce oat, and, ascend- ing the steps with a good deal of sup- pressed indignation, she pressed the bell. The door was promptly opened by a neat - capped maid. " Is ' Dr. Robinson in ?" she inquired, glibly, improvising the first name that came to her. " I believe so, ma'am ; will you walk in ?" For an instant Dorothy wavered he total dismay. This was a contingency for which she found herself completely un- prepared. Then, as her glance roved from the Waiting Carey below to the girl, who had stepped hospitably back, her resolu- tion,was taken ; to go in and explain, on meeting the doctor, that he was the wrong man, seeming the simplest and moat!' 'natural way out of the difficulty, and it ! e wonld rid her of Carey, which was the main c thing. The room into which she was ushered 1 gave her, as a first impression, a sensation of cheer and comfort and good taste. It was fitted up as half office, half library, and ' s a fire on the hearth shed its unstable light on two chairs, drawn up in a suggestively confidential manner within the seductive radiance. Dorothy had made a mental comment of all this, becoming aware that : one of these inviting chairs had anoccupant, who had slowly risen and Was now facing her with an open curiosity which he did not take the trouble to conceal. He was a tall, broad -shouldered, athletic young IMM, with a fine blonde head, and did not in the leant resemiietbofmiIy physidien of Dorothy% infantile ailments. . " I have been expecting you," he re- marked, calmly; won't you be seated? ' " Bat I called to see Dr. Robinson," ex- plained. Dorothy, fully expecting him to claim the distinction. " I am very sorry," replied the young man, imperturbably. " I am Dr. Robinson's nephew, Neil Sawtelle. lie was very un- certain about you keeping thia appointment. In fact, he went out, hoping to meet yon -elsewhere, but left me to receive you it you came, and gave me entire authority to act in his stead." In the course of her life it is probable that Miss Dorothy had never experienced such a variety of emotions. That it was a case of mistaken identity appeared plain-, but how to account for her presence here without be- traying her name and her reason for ring- ing the bell, appeared a problem difficult of solution. " I am sure there is some mistake," she stammered at length ; " I am not the per son Dr. Robinson expects. I simply wanted to consult him about a slight cold, -and will call again." "As my uncle is no longer a practieing physician; I am sure that cannot have been your object." He drew„himself up to his full height, which Dorothy found rather overwhelming, and adopted a sterner tone. " Do be seated," he repeated ; "thia is a very serious matter, and must be treated seriously. Your acquaintance with my un- fortunate cousin is as well known to me m all its details as to my uncle. Why try to deceive me ? " as Dorothy made an attempt for a hearing. " But I am not the person you think I am," she declared ; " I am Miss Dempsey." " Indeed ! And to what reason does my uncle, an old bachelor, owe the pleasure of 'this visit to -day ? You must excuse my ignoring the cold." He made a quick, convincing gesture as she started, hesitated—and was lost. " You see it, is' useless;" he went on. " I must insist on your remaining until you nave answered a few questions'but I must beg that you won't force me to bo more im- polite than you can help." " When will Dr. Robinson return?" " In an hour or two at the moat. If you prefer waiting for him, that will be even better," and he drew forward one of the easiest chairs. ",Bat I can't stay here two hours," cried Dorothy, now thoroughly alarmed, and con- tinuing to stand uncompromisingly. , "Nor is there the slightest necessity for it. Perhaps, if I state the case, it will en- able you to see that you can use the same freedom with me as with the doctor, and able', how little we require of you, provided you are honest, and how unpleasant the consequences may be if you evade. There have been great complications in two of the banks in which my cousin is connected, and actual theft has been committed. It has been proved past doubt at what hour the latter occurred, and suspicion has fallen in the highest places. My cousin will be im- plicated in the arrests unless it can be proved to the satisfaction of these inter- ested that he was elsewhere at the time. By to -morrow, or at the farthest, the next day, all New York may know of it. For some strange reason he refuges to Account for himself. Now, all that we require is that you shall state under oath when and where you have seen him since Monday last." "I 'het know what you are talking a . about, , "awl I 'don't wish to remain here any longer," protested Dorothy, vehem- ently, N "Nontiense," replied Sawtelle, almost roughly, interposing himself between her and the door ; " my uncle gave- me a de- scription of you before he left. The idea of you denying that you know Albert Van Twiller is absurb." At the mention of the name Dorothy gave a little gasp of horror and 'amazement. " Why, of course I know him," she said, unguardedly, and then, seeing too late that she was only strengthening his mistake, she sank into the nearest chair, with a pitiful wail of distress which did not help matters. " Oh, this is perfectly dreadful !" she sobbed, fogetting her dignity and mopping her eyes with furtive dabs. As for the blonde giant on the rug, he looked scarcely less uncomfortable and ill at' ease. " I don't Bee but that you will have to wait till the cloche? comes. If I should let you go, it would only mean publicity and an appearance at court, and all sorts of com- plications, which you orght to be as anxious to avoid as we are, Miss McKinney.' " I am not Miss 'McKinney." " Well, my uncle will knew 'Who you are,, anyway." " No, he won't," thought Miss Dempsey, and relapsed into a damp and protracted silence. "1 wonder if you would believe me," she said at last, impulsively, turning on him a pair of moist, indignant eyes, "if I told you exactly how I did happen to come here ?" " I am dreadfully sorry. I presume I have made a mess of it," he replied,1irrelev- antly ; " perhaps we had better not try any more explanations till thedoctor comes. You see, if I had known you were in the least "—reddening perceptibly—" the least like what•you are, 1 never should have at. I tempted a conversation." As Dorothy found nothing to reply, to this, another half hour passed, reducing her to a. state of nervousness that went far toward confirming Sawtelle in his stoma - cions. At last, to the infinite relief of both, a key sounded in the latch, and bowing politely at, her averted head, Sasistelle hastened into the hall... Already the doctor—a hale,hearty man of 50—was divesting himself of his snowy overcoat, and on catching sight of his nephew he began so speak in a cheery, ex- ited voiee. f • " Such a day' my boy ! The jade escaped me, in spite of everything, and 'sailed on a Cure:oder this noon. But that isn't the 1 worst of it. No wonder Albert refused to' ay anything about, her. He knew the whole thing would •epme out, and her testis, mony weuldn't be worth shucks, foryou see, he we married her—macried her, my dear IArs. bo sN d 'you understand A wtelle made no response, he glanced . up hastily. "Anything Wrong?' " Oh, nothing," replied Sawtelle, in a dramatic whisper of despair, "except that I've kept the prettiest girl I ever saw in a state of torture for two hours. She 'ay's:hadn't explain Who she wiffset first,and seemed so agitated that I never hada doubt about its being the -McKinney woman. You said she was dark:" " Black, staring' eyes, and as big'as an Amazoh." "You didn't say that. This one is small and thoroughbred to the finger-tips." "Well, well, we must see about it." And, accompanied by his anxious nephew., the doctor bustled into the room with an apologetic good -will that somewhat dis- armed the hauteur Dorothy WAS trying to assume. • "There has been a great mistake, my dear young lady, and one about which my 'nephew is deeply annoyed; but you mustn't blame him, because he was only following out my instructions, although mistaken in the person. And now, if you will tell me to what I owe the honor of this visit, I shall be very glad if I can retrieve in any way the discomfort you have undergone." Thus brought to bay, nothing was left to Dorothy but to make full confession. " I am Miss Dempsey, of No.— Fifth avenue," she began, but was uncerimon- ioualy interrupted by the doctor. " Not Julien Derapaey's child? I knew he left a widow and a child. Bless me, what a coincidence! We were chums—old chums at Yale, years ago—bat go on, my child." And then followed the whole ridiculous, mortifying tale, to which the doctor listened with open interest. " I am glad you happened -to come here," he said, not quite approvingly, when she had finished. " And hope you are going to exonerate me partially," entreated Sawtelle, who had been preparing his line of defence during the recitaL " You can't fancy how humili- ated I am or how tempted I was to believe you. If you hadn't acknowledged your ac- quaintance. with poor Van Twiller, 1 should have weakened at the end." " I do know Mr. Van Twiller, but the ac- quaintance is only a superficial one. I saw him last at Mrs. Lyle's bell Wednesday. evening, and sat with him some time in the conservatory. I was upset, because what you told me seemed ao terrible." " Bat Mrs. Lyle herself mentioned to me that he was not in the house ten minutes," interposed the doctor. " I think she was miffed. She fancied him for one of her girlie, and now he has thrown himself away --poor Albert." ' " Oh, I know how that happened. He told me all about it. He was going home with a Mr. Green, and after he had made his adieux, Mr. Green decided'to remain, so he sat aiut a. dance with me, and finally went off without waiting for him." "And do you know what time that was ?" inquired the doctor, eagerly. " About a quarter 'or a half after ono, when my partner for the cotillion came up. _We -began to daMie it about that time." " Could you swear to it on paper ?" " Why, yes, certainly." "Then,"shouted the doctor, triumph- antly, " he is vindicated,. whether he ex- plains it or not. This will satisfy the directors so they will drop proceedings where he is concerned. They know already that he is not guilty. It is as plain as day- light to me now. He didn't remember the' exact time he left Mrs. Lyle's, and think- ing he was with this woman he has mar- ried, didn't want to attract our attention to her." "And now, if you please, I should like to go home," remarked Miss Dempsey, in a pathetic tone. " Of course, my poor child, immediately. Neil, call a carriage. 1 will go• with you myself, and see your mother, also get your signature, if you will be so kind. It will straighten the affair out wonder- fully. Verily truth is stranger than fic- tion !" As Dorothy swept from the room, Saw- telle made a brave, if ineffectual, attempt to attract her attention ; but as she steadily refused to be aware of his presence, his con- science permitted bim to retain a small, soaked wad, which was easily concealed in the palm of his hand.," Subeequent events have led us to believe—so tender were his ministrations and pressure between the volumes of a new set of Ruskin—that in course of time it became less' like a rag and more like a respectable handkerchief. It is now over a year since these events occurred, and we hear that the article in question, together with a number of ether worldly goods, is to be delivered to its rightful owner. How it all came about those who have not begun their love affairs with a little animosity will never be able to conjecture, but we have it direct from the lips of the round and ever -rubicund Carey himself. ' " The latest engagement, my deah fellah, is Miss Dempsey's to a person named SIW- telle. Why, they say he has never been to a Patriarchs' in his life !"—Mary Golding Lanman, in the Epoch. Crushed. He—I'm looking for a girl who can bake a cake, a loaf of bread, or cook a meal ; ono who isn't afraid to sew a button on, or soil her hands in a little housework. ' \ She—I should strongly advise you to ' try an intelligence office, Mr. Closeleigh.—Life. Tun New York World offered $20 in gold for the best brief essay on " How to Man- age a Wife," it being assumed, apparently, that such a feat in posaible. The winning essay by Rev. C. S. Deems, of No. 4 Win- throp Place, New York, was as follows : "Manage ?"'What is that? Dees it 'mean to control I We manage a horse. Wo use our suporlorhuman intellect to control and guide s superior physical strength so as to obtain the best results. But a wife is not a horse. Where twoPersons arc' well married the wife is superior to her husband in as many respects as he is superior to her in others. If happiness is to be the result of. theunion the first busi- ness of the husband is to manage himself so as to keephimself always his wife's respectful friend, always her tender lover, always her equal partner, always her superior protector. This will/lecessarily.stilinulate the wife to bo always Fill admiring frieqd, always an affection- ate sweetheart, always a thrifty housewife, always a confiding ward. And this will so re- act upon the husband that his love for his wife will grow so as to make it easy for the husband, with all hiS faults, to bear with all tlie infirmi- er4 his " one an or ly' wife.. It may be remarked that Rev. M. Deems , a benedict. Thin is a utilitarian age and no one need be- surprised to hear of -a yacht race 1 around the globe between the swift sloop, " Washer's Best Soap," and the beautiful ' cutter " Bagger's Three Dollar rants." 44 TOOK IN THE KNOCE-DOWN SALE. Hta Mother's Example Was Always Before MIs Eyes. MY-dearrhe said, as Isa threw ide the paper, " I ate that the biggest store in town advertises a knock -down -fiale in hats." " Yes, Edward;" she said, booking over the edge of her coffee cup. " I will go with you and pick out a nice hat. You have been wanting one for a long- time. I will show you that it is.posSible to get something elegant at a low figure. This extravagance among wives must be stopped." " Now, then," he whispered, as they entered the store, " my mother never paid more than $2.25 for a hat, and they do say that in her day she was the best -dressed woman in town. I shall take pattern after her," "Take it away, take it away !" he gasped as the clerk showed a stylish thing in blue marked $7. "Do you think I have just escaped from some asylum ? I ain' after one of those knoele-down hate, I am, such as I read about in the paper." "Ah 1" he remarked, " that is more like it sir: Four dollars ! Too dear, too dear ; still I like to be liberal occasionally 1" He made a wry face and she laid it aside with a sigh. "Well, well 1" he ejaculated, "if here isn't a hat that I like better. Six dollars, eh ? Well, that is too dear ; but it is EO becoming. Still, I would notlike to buy it, as I am afraid my mother would turn over In. her grave." " Here, milliner," 'he went on, as he caught his wife peeping in the glass, on her head a hat marked $12 ; " here, just wrap up that little thing in blue and send it home. The longer we stay the more per- pkxed we become. There is nothing like promptitude, even in the world of fashion. Good-bye, love ; I am off for the office." " Did that thing come, eh ?" he said sweetly, that evening, 'as he sunk into an easy chair after dinner. ` It did, Edward ; it is just lovely ; let me show you." , She stood before the glass a long time ; he was regarding her, with beaming face ; it was a sweet home picture. "Always wear a hat like that," he said ; " it is so becoming, my dear. .And I sup- pOse the bill came, too, eh ?" " Yes, Edward, dearie. - It is only $44 !" The Approach of litars. The planet Mars or August 6th will be very close to the earth, but not close enough to endanger church steeples, or even to brush against the tallest of earth's moun- tains, His distance will be, say 48,600,000 miles. But the great Lick telescope, on Mount Hamilton, California, will bring Mars within 17,500 miles of us, and won- derful discoveries are expected. It has already been 'settled to the satisfaction of the minds of astronomers that water exists on Mars. Brilliant white patches seen on the poles of Mars, beautiful telescopic objects, by the experi- ments of Mr. Huggins, have been de- termined to be ice caps. This is the last great discovery connected with Mars. and follows that of Prof. Hall in Washington, who 18 1887 made the splendid discovery of the tiny moons of Mars. The ' people of theearth are better acquainted with Mars than with any of the heavenly bodies, with the exception, perhaps, of the Moon, and the present approach of Mars is rendered especially interesting because since 1887, the last approach of our interesting neigh- bor, who bears such a striking resemblance to the earth, the magnificent Lick telescope has been completed.--Buffa/o News. Teach Your Girls. Give your girls a thorough education. Teach them to cook andprepare the food of the household. Teach them to wash, to iron, to darn stockings,to sew on buttons, and to make their own dresses. Teach them to spend within their income. Teach them to wear a calico dress that is paid tor, with more comfort than a silk one which is etill owing. Teach them how to purchase, and see that the account tallies with the pur- chase. Teach them that good health and 9, bright face are better than any cosmetic. Teach them good common sense, self-help and industry. Teach them that marrying a man without principle is like putting to sea without compass or rudder. Teach them, if you can afford it, music, painting and other accomplishments, but insist on a certain amount of good reading daily. The Horse's Foot. The foot of a horse is one of the most ingenious and unexampled pieces of mechan- ism in the whole range of animal -structure. The outside hoof is made up of a series of thin vertical laminas of horn, about 500 in number. Into this are fitted 500 more thin laminas, which belong to the coffin bone, both sets being elastic and adherent. The edges of a quire of paper inserted leaf by leaf into another quire will furnish a good idea of the arrangement of the laminas as mentioned above. Thus the weight of the animal is supported by as many elastic springs as there are laminae in all the feet, amounting to about 4,000. These are dis- tributed in the most secure manner and in a way that every spring is acted upon in an oblique direction. Verily there is a diqplay of nature's Wonders everywhere. —Galveston News. Her Conscientious Scruples. Guest, (at church fair)—And what is the bill, if you please, Miss ? Sweet young thing—You have had two spoonfuls of lolly- pop and a smile ; that will be $l. Thanks. Yes ; I notice it is a $2 bill, but you can't expect us to make change in a church It • e e o the Most High a house of Merchandise, you know. is forbidden to make the te I f " THE Young Men's Emigration Advice Society' 'is the name of an organization which operates in connection with the Young Men' a Christian Aseociatfon, of Manchester, England. There would seem to he much of good to be accomplished by an intelligently conducted and disinterested bureau 5flhat kind. The average English emigrant needs advice as much as he needs any, other part of his equipment, and if this organization acquaints itself Nsith the foreign end of its work it may be tYo means not only of rendering valuable aid to those who emigrate, but also of preventing the emi- gration of those whose inadaptatiorr or lack of capacity disqualifies them for success in the new world. A IAD OCCURRENCE. 1 Mow a Tonna Lady Entertained a Masculine Ifire hi a fitou, gays a writer in the Min- neapolis Journal, I picked up oe one of my lecturing tours. A 'charming young woman, just entering what is called society, met a distinguished lawyer at a reception, - and was much flattered when he asked leave to call upon her the next evening. She confirmed one or two friends as to the best method of making his call agreeable. "I'm nearly scared to death," she con- fessed to one of them. "They say he's awfully smart, and I'm certain I won't talk well enough to please him. Now you've known him a long time ; do tell me what subjects, to disease, and I'll run home and t get ready for him." " Well," said the kind-hearted fri "literature is his fad. You can't go if you turn the conversation into that chan- nel." With this valuable hint, Miss Budd hast- ened home, and devoted the rest of the day to reading' Promptly at 8 o'clock the young lawyer was ushered into the drawing -room. " Wasn't it a delightful reception we at- tended last evening ?" he asked presently. by way'of opening the conversation. Oh, yes," was the enthusiastic response; " but wasn't that sad about poor Mary, Queen of Scots? They cut her head off, you know." It is to be regretted that the remainder of this very literary conversation is not reported. The Pretty Woman. A pretty woman must first of all, have clearly cut regular features. She must have full, clear eyes. She must have a skin that is above re-* preach, -untouched by rouge or powder. She must have glossy hair that has never known the touch of bleach or dye. She must have a good figure, plump yet slender enougb, never suggestive of an angle. She must have .11 white, expressive hand, preferably a small one, but not of a neces- sity, if it is well kept and white. She must have small ears and a throat that is like a marble column for her head. She must know how to put on her clothes, or she loses half her beauty. She must fully understand what best suits her in the way of hair dressing, and cling • closely to that. A woman may have all these attractions, and unless her own personality is charming, unless she has tact it dawns on you, after you have seen hernnce or twice, that she is not a pretty woman, but a pretty dolL — Boston Gazette. The Sleighbell Dail. An iron founder has been talking about the manufacture of sleighbella and has ex- plained a circumstance which has, no doubt, puzzled a great many people, old as well. as young. " The little iron all," be says, " is too big to be put in through the holes in the bell, and yet it is inside. , How did it get there? The little iron ball is called thejinglet.' When you shake the sleigh - bell it jingles. In making the bell the jinglet'is put inside a little ball of mud, just the shape of the outside of the belL This mud ball, with the jinglet inside, is placed in the mould of the outside, and the metal is pored in, which fills up the space between the bell and the mould. When the mould is taken off you are a sleighbell, bat it will not' ring, as it is full of dirt. The hot metal that the hell is made of dries the dirt so that it cansbs shaken out. After the dirt is all shaken . out of the holes in the bell the little iron jinglet will still be in , the bell and will ring. It took a good many ware to think out how to make a sleigh- belL" , _ Things Useful to Snow. To whiten the mile, cut a lemon in two • and rub in well at night. Wash off in warm water the next morning. It is claimed that a preparation made of , two-thirds lemon juice to one-third Jamaica rum will remove freckles. Clean hairbrushes with warm water and. a little ammonia. It is. best to clean two brushes at the same time, as they can bo - rubbed together. Let them dry in the hot sun. It is frequently stated that granite .iron- wareFt cannot be mended after it leaks, d so must be thrown away. But, iii t, itis quite possible to mend it in the me way as tin, by aoldering.—Good House- keeping. 15 Pounds Gained in Three Weeks, and • Cured of Consumption. Messrs. Craddock & Co., 1,032 Race street, Philadelphia, Pa. Gentlemen,— Please send me tweve bottles of Dr. H. James' Cannabis Indica, one each of Pine and Ointment, for a friend of mine who is not expected to live ; and as your medicine cured me of Consiimption some three years ago, I want him to try them. I gained. fifteen pounds while taking the first three bottles, and I know it is just the thing for - him. Respectfully, J. V. Hull, Lawrence- 1 berg, Anderson Co., Ky. Avoid Unnecessary Temptation. Missionary Letter: " Of course I have all the cannibals converted, but do not send me a fat assistant. There is no need of putting temptation in their way." (IILNot Tet Discouraged Trying. ' Truth : Mies Passe—Don't be afraid ; I'll steady the ladder. Rev. Mr. Youngman (unmarried)—And will you catch me if I fall 1 Miss Passe—I'm sure I'll try; but I think it'll be a pretty smart girl that catches .you. Confirmed. The favorable impression produced on the first appearitiace of the agreeable liquid fruit remedy Syrup of Figs a few years ago has been more than confirmed by the pleasant experience of all who have used it, and the success of the proprietors and manufactur- ers the California Fig Syrup Company. —Higher criticism has not yet den° a thing to make men more patient on wash- day. —Ram's Horn. —Ethel—I have had an offer of marriage. Clerissa—Gracious,1 Has it got out that yon e grandmother is going to leave you some money ? —Primus—Oh, you don't know me. I have a most , ungovernable temper. Secnndus—Can't got mad when you knew you ought to, eh ?