HomeMy WebLinkAboutLucknow Sentinel, 1888-10-19, Page 74
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• THE mailloOoN Bcate.T.
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How tie Mot Exp,erieneett/Pronantin the
Werlitelost Hiss Peatb.
The coroner' e inquiryinto the death', a.
few days ago ia. Essex, England, of. the
femme EerOmiut Simmons has brought Out
a siogalar feature of the seeide,nt by whir*
he lost his lifeand hi a two ocimpaniOnil
were dangerously injured, and indicate
new .danger•in balloonffig, The evidence
showa that the accident, Which followed. an
Attempt to land, during which the sandier
was caught in a 'telt, was ponied by the
bursting of the balloon. The silk was un-
usually large*. end correspondingly ,heavy,
- but it wasAset ripped With 'one large rent,
as would have been the otisehad it caught
• on a tree, but was found torn into several
distinct pieoes. Besides this, thebrifsting
was acoompanied by in lead report, Which
Wee heard not only by those neer by who
were watching the balloon,' but by per-
sons. a' considerable distance away, who
.knew nothing of the balloon • until After-
-ward. . • . " •
. Mr. Simmeins woe an ieronant of thirty
y,eare' • experience and „this's was his 495t1i
ascension. When he landed from his last
...previous ascent' a few days before an old
lady said to him, "You rnen cannot have
much pare for your ltvets,". and he replied :
"1 have made 494 ascents and I don't feel
'very much fear novi."-• •
The balloon; was the Cciemo, one of the
largest ever inede„ holding 52,000 feet Of
, gas and oepahle of carrying 2,400 pounde.
The banket was of jrin wire: network,
instead of Wicker. Be carried a thirty -
pound grapnel and ninety.eise feet of rope
-4w:light an anchor andtoci short a rope,
_ ,
middle of the afternoon With Aire..erelm,raol.spnr-e,W .rtroond_ thee-
elosely, not ,quite to nape of neck; the hang
- :tterawexports. %aye--A,Th- -
and Mr. MeYere, the latter of the South
meat ba pointed and narrow. It is Very
-liensington_Nntural History Museum; both
44-
ersiat, Tiort yetsitioeis.
How the Ladies of New York are preening
this seitsonraybe Lateet Nearer -Amara
!mg the! Raba
•
A New York correspondent writes: The
bustle must go! you tinagitie. anything
so delightful as to be able. to sit. onjh chair
away hack in comfort, instead of resting
one's eelf ' by sitting on the edge of the
chair. and bracing Year Pheuldere against
the hack, causing hackle:the, neckaohe and
headache '2, Maty of our, hest' dreesed
lades are discarding, the, bustle:altogether.
The effect in entnti Cases is startling, and
one is apt remember'one's ophool days,
when oar brothers compared us to a yard
of pump Water, and called us gawky.
Opwever; it is the fashion and (pita the
correct thins. I Met a young lady on
'Broadway. richly 'attired in h suit of sage
green, plain underskirt of lighter shade, a
direotoire fleet Of the darker, long straight
coat teile in the beak, cut away the
front, a ,rvest of heavy hroche, white ground
and.pale damask keno,. double -Weeded ; a
long boa Of ereara 'lace Waft carelesisly.tied
'about the throat; a large hat of birds'
breasts, wingannd eagle's claw holding the
rim against the crown, over a !see, young
eaad dashing, with h "1 know I've Left ray
bristle at ; home "kind of a took. .She
tripped along. and many were the admiring
eyes turned in her direcitioni although .I
heard a dude on the corner remark that
'thatgirl was as flat as a pancake." A
New VAT OF nomo THE HAM
=DTA Nia'8P i LINErPH0DI9r..
Pascal Ifeerter, I Roundabout anfl,ignee,
atreeehee, eachIng.la_ceetotanalt.
The little church oppoeite; Linooln Park.
has liad a sensation for the putt -week in,
the, shape of a 12-year.old boy. preacher.
His name is Pascal Porter. His. parente
are plain farmere. . His mother died. eight
months ago, and his father, au ordinal"'
'mans With no great &Meant of either
sanctity or learning, but e plain; everyday
man, travels with the gifted son. He set
in the tall, ,pnlpit behind the big Bible and
eroded his hands and peered at the
audience with the composure of a veteran.
One of the silver -hatred men intrednced
Mr. Johnson, over 50,-, to make a prayer;
,then hymns; woke etiorend the boy stepped
forth with the &sentence, of .0, lawyer
and the elegant composure Cf a society
gentleman," The etellence .wen ' corn -
posed for the most 1:art -of married
women, who always love bright ' children
and . old 'men. The , boy preacher wore
a roundabout a little White collar street
his neck; knee -breeches and buttoned shoes.
The idea of hie preaching to silverhaired.
old men recalled the Story of the'13-yeare
old Christ who entered the temple, but the
old men went np. and shook hira warmly by
the hind: And the led greeted them with
respect, yet not childishness. When the
hymns had been sung and the organ'oetteed
expectation was on tiptoe. The audience
was hushed, and placing One band on the
pulpit the boy preacher announced SS a
text, "alasY Hold on Lite." He had bond
the lines. somewh.ere in the Bible. . He
noted the difference, between the phi and
revised , versions, then ipoke of a life of
:oleasure„ 90;40 verse from Tennyson,
talkcd ab thvtadialltaegitresiff-a-ab-Ok
gay company. Then, he contrasted the
pleasures of sin with the pure jdy of the
Christi:oda hot •he didn't detail much of 'the
-pleasuees-otein,secalledi nor did.it,a,ppeer,
that the innocent boy knew very . much
about thein.-;Ite. rdeclared the joy01
the ..Christian 'was the child of hope.
Then: be drew a tent of ,piotate, as
he called it, of Christian life. 'Then
he concluded "My prayer ler pod is
that you shall all receive eternal life where
there shall -be no more •parting," and the
kid eat down behind •the fall' He
&imolai:ie.:neat 'Sunday evening. He is 4
prodigy of memory. That knows whit.
he, is talking about is questionable. Rio
composure before an • audience' remark-
able. He bite addressed 3,000. He does
not:hesitate for a word, end when he does
it is the hesitation of a • person who has
'learned leetion Well.. • He has been
preaching 2i yearn, and was born at .
near Jefferson, on November. 6th; .1876-
Prodigiee-among ,ohildrenaare-anot-uncern._
men. Dr. Watts wrote. hymns When he
was 4, years old. Pepe; the pet, rhymed
as a child,. nnil Dryden, :when a' boy .at
school, Won a prize for the best essay onthe
mimed° of :Christ at ' cans by sirnply
writiog; .
yhe mooed water saw Of: i3od blitsleed,
Sil100 the bustle is tieing discarded is a. la
coiffure Joeephine. Hair of medium length
is now creepy dressed; gather the hair up
on the crown of the head tie it &lily awl
• •
of w)ioni .baa ,yQy 40B, tedionatodrees-the.,,kait io this style but '
mede previous• •effective—IS any ladies •weata :false ontle
pinned closely about their heade instead of
curlieg, their pan hair; hale& of dee],
pearl beacie..,Cor jet are worn With the
coiffure. A new fad is Vie long cane, with
silver and ,gold head, carried with the
directoire costunle, end trimmed, like the
little 'pugs waddling ;by the side of their
Mistress, with a "bovrof ribbonto match
codiune. Nev'hosiery is displayed for -the
towing see,s6n in gorgeous colors: Wide
stripes :of delicate flesh tints and deep
crimson ate Been; in others' checked effects,
are given in contrasting colors. . The
hosiery this Season is anything but modest
in colors, and the neat bilaelt hose Will
aeon be a ,thing of the past. Sauntering
up 5th avenue, 1 met a Montrealer, Who
'came to this . City not king sincefor the
. ,
ee ietencled to °roes t e ()bonne
' darkness corning- • on, the
. • party decided to deseend for the night:
•
The country was, somewhet wooded, and
two or three attempts were made te.land,
but each, time ballad had to be thrown
out. and the 'bellport tient tip .again. A
;field that Beemed fairly clear was ittleet
•• ;chosen and the grapnel bet out It
• dragged through .11eld of -.wheat and
then °Might in a large tree,. ; In an
instant the Mtge balloon; palled up short,
swurig' to the. grotind, end began to bump
•. up and down, straining at the end of its
etether. .0iramons pulled desperately on
the Valve.rope and shouted to Field to help
him. Meyers -held a bag.Of ballestswaiting
- an order to throw it out. Three times in
rapt° than as maeyd sewn
benefitoLniefrienale-e.a lawyer; fairi with,
• .grest-balleon-hOunded-upten Lclown,_sititTe
" .glleg franticallyiu0 some inamense • wild
.,• ,
• beast at the end of a :.' long rope. Each
• time it sprung sixty 'feet in the air.As it
rose the third time to that, height there
• oinee a sudden report, the silk collapsed,
and the earewith the three men in it fell to
•:the ground. Men from the, fields' running
up found it battered into a'shapeleso Wreck-
,. and its three lato inmates -unconscious:
Simmons' skull,was fractured and he had
suffered other injuries. , He; died Big Boodle.in Bets. in three , • .
_
A. regular betting cyclone has swept oter
hours-without-regainiegconcicinenessailtrethonnnntrv
theatir-somewhaf-of-a---Sherbrookentreet-
benk clerk; alas! the velvet coat had
disappeared,' and he was . attired in the
latest New Yea* . out. The downy
moustache was trimly 'curled and hia. legal
highness stood gracefully poised, against
one of the pillars of the 5th Avenue Hetet
rolling hie eyes and making fronds, efforts
to dissolve the headof his cane.
sHE Lovigelb. THIPH:AH-
•—•
Why Pretty Nettle Callahan Caaletl. Her
Mother tit'court. :
the olootlx of aTtily the dwolling:ff of
George Porter, No. 8.1•2' aVenne
'Henry Profiles, No. 60 West 52nd Areal.
William. F. .1g0, 1.80 AOlt rtla
dreet, ;•filterge E. Holt, No."24 East Oth
street! and Afr: Brady, No. 142. East ,38th
street, were robbed of ',OVet 1/10,09Q. werth
cfdiemonde, and jewellery.
. Detective -Sergeant* 710,1143',. B'nknhoe
.bnnp.argr41.18 andaY, Ofno•titlicig,allapto,t3tri,odn, oartelisetes4totg
'geode. The prisoners 'wise their nen:teem
John Donohue. and Thomae Whittaker.
Yegtordai.the hombre. pleaded gnilty to
the - five- uedictinentie ' or burglary Wore
Beet:order enaY,th., and wore remanded .00
this afternodn. for sentence.; Since Donee,
irepriponmeet in the Tornhip he has
been frequently visited by Nellie pallahan,
a pretty brunette of 17 years, whom
he had induced to Jun away, Irom
borne, 4 • few, days previous to his.
arreeC. On September :14th, Mrs, Annie:
No. 240 -West • 17th died, the
girl's mother, ermined • a WkrerOt ;for ITO'
detiOhter'e arrest. It ,.eppeere tlaht, the .
priooneremade nee of Nellie by having her
pawn the jeviellery and supply ; them with
money. A week ego Nellie Celled upon 'her
mother.' She was bedeCked With jeweld
arid defied her mother t0. interfeee. witirther.
Before Mrs. Callahan could ;summon an
ofile.er Nellie. walked away. She wee '
lowed frog's the. Tombs to the ' ref:4.0mi° of.
DonohneIs' mother, where- the. wee intro-
duced ' ad. the!' barglar's eider. She was
arrested. On searching her the detectives
foundin the *Isom of her. dress '. letter
fininlrainginelelierilfeatlidell", he:Tv-owed
.eternal lova, and -wrote thatriliedwaagladto,,1:47.fiiiiidiedif---.ifF• ri-g--gralip,00,41.,:,,vigno.--
sea that she would not forget him, although to the efficacy: of Polson'e Nerviline as the
be NES prison. She Was taken to jeffet. most ,potent pain remedy in the World for • •
nealitatket7contr and -10..ii.'1.Callebeir•--ap, 'all kindeptpaine: Nerviltne Lo .00mposed -•
peered against her.' •Nellio. wabcdeflent and 7of nevily ditioeiered- ingiediente, ' and
said they could Fend- her to priebnc•bat-she •equally goodfor.:internal.
Would never Willingly go to the floaeatif the 'Purchase a•10 gent sample bottle,. and test .
Good Shepherd:... She. mimed her mother it . at once. T. It..lielville,Vieecott, writes: .
and tried to Strike het. She was emit, to "My eustomers who. have •used .
the' House , of . the ,Good Shepherd. -N. epeak highly of it, and I•antsatisfied it will .
Mail. • 'I take a. leading place' Market before
• . . . .
. • l• • • • . long." Try* NerViline for .pailet..
. . One • o!' •Hirei JOkee'n : • Sold by 'firOggistfi and country.. •dealerir
It Would • take Volume to : record the. 'everywhere, , . " - •
many ''.'good thin& " winch the.late JaMes. • 0. • •
ti.xviden.e,- • '
Fahey .used.t0 deliver spontaneonely ameng.. .•
his friends and newspaper associates- toting Wife (glciotnity)D0 you .suppogo
bright -baying and keen ,wittieleme :that, our husbands really went fishing' lad Sat-,
wouldhaVe added lnitre .to the humorous ,thelayt • • • ,
literature of the day had • they . but found Sedoficl young wife • (confidently) -'7I elm ,
their- way, into. print, but whieb have euro of it. ; ..•
perished' withhira; peor I•remeiti- First young wife -They didn't • bring..
home any fish. • , '
reason for believing they Went fishing!. . • • • •
Offenslve. **nth: • .1 • • .
is . Most •dietreesing, net only to the perstei • .
afflieted, if he have any but „in, those
With whom he in dented, If 'is' .6- „
delicate matter .to speak\a„ • bnt ,it hair '
'parted not only '.friends . but lotiere. • • Bad' ,
breath and•pitarrh-:Aro inseparable. DY. -
Sage!nestarrh ..Remedy: cures the. worst: ; •
-oases as thousende, can testify: • •• '
• • Al.awyer :Jen* the Questloui
. Widow --But; my dear sit, what a•iigens •
tiabill of costs you hein made forlifiC
Wort deed.Of ,Chnvearinee'.. •
AttcitneyI merelae•Wished:to :prove to
you; madam, :what at, lucrative preload.= ,
,mine,ie;•and what an excellent match
.shOuld.lnakelor you ' • , '
**Tis better net to be, than e unhappy?.
'and no one Oen be happy Whose synteinvi
.ditenged by poinonons secitetionie Nearly
all Ube that flesh is heir to arisofrom 'torpid
liver. and derangement Of •:ipie digestive.
organa. Dr. Pierce's •Pleekant Purgatitie •
Pellets 'eared' irregularities' of the Been:.
prevent . constipation and promote . good
hehlth. Buy them Off your .druggiste.. • .
• Took Ellin at tits *Ord: •
yourdanghter Mr.
Field had a. simple fracture of the tight
thigh and a compound fracture of the left
deg, besides innumerable bruises, Mr.
Meyers had internal injuries, and was
'covered with braises and cuts.
Eronants can eye no satisfactory ex-
planation of the bursting of the balloon. It
was undoubtedly calmed by the sudden
,stoppage, but why the strain. of a quantity
of gas should become excessive on that ao-
. count has not been explained. It is said
that there is one stinilar case on record:,
New York Sun.
•„ Oid, country Sports.
•On the lath ult. Mr, Allied Nlioitof the
Catferd CYcling. Club, . London, started
from Edinburgh at 12 noon to :Attempt' to
ride to Leaden on a” Safety" bicycle in
48 houie. He accomplished the journey in
•• . two days eight hours'. , • , ,
' The Coniteese de Paris has 'earned , in-
- Modal fame at Strathyty, as the gilliee
and keepetedeclare•that she is one of the
'finest shote .ever Been On the ".coinatiy.
, An interesting hook might be written
about the laws relatingto.games and spode.
"..They begin in the -tithe of ' Richard IL,
• when servants and laborers *ere 'enjoined
to use bows and arrows on Stindaye and
• holidhys, and to leitie all tennis, foothill,
• and other gainee, called " coits, dice, oast.'
ingof the ottine;. kills, • and other snob
importune gamee,". If anyono played Such
• unthrifty,,Ilgarinee they were made•liable
• to si* days imptitionment under Henry
V..Strange to nay! "unlawful" .ghtilea
were allowed on Qltrustinasi'Day. ' Here ate
the names pf:eorae of the unlawfid games':
Logetting in theefieldn, slide-thtift (othet-
:wise called shove groat), bowling, doyting,
• closh-cayle; lialf-bowl, tennis, dionigtable,
• carding,' hand in and hand' out, and (meek..
. At the: championship' angling emnpeti:
flow on Loch Leven, Scotland, on the ilth
• ult., thirty-two clubs were represented and
the %takes were generally _good: ' The
position of champion wise gamed by Mr..
Malcolm, Stirling, whose baaket.contained
17 trout, weighing 18 lb. 5 iti2: •
*eeantecent. .1
gr174.14..Pgfat 31[4871i_ us
lierelred Mewl, and the DOS Had to Po
Shot Beres* the pod), Waa• Itemoved„
The pollee had a; eavage fight after-
noon with a dog that stood guard over leia
dead master's body, and Wong not P7e_1.4
nntil fourteen indicts had been 11X1aed jn
his body. . Then' the ,faithtn1 iiVnial fell
dead. beside the remains Which he had,
guarded so well. The man, John Gynan
444, committed suicide by hanging'. He;
veawtae Eitla aWt. habl Salem
Oe Point.h facic luiped1 olinifof igv. ed alone companione
ig
Gynan's body was discovered the dog was .
lying beneath, and the oboes showed Where
the dumb companion had tried to revive
his master. :While the PAisonlen were
cutting the dead Man down the, dog etroad
by with his eyes riveted on his master's
face, but the moment they tried, to remove". „
the he became ferocious. Ito bit both ,
Men until they were glad to beat a reirent.,
Then he caressed the dead man's face,
whining piteously the while. The. police
tried to coax him away, but he sheaved his ,
teeth every time they epproached, and hitt
savagegrowl warned them to keep their
distance,. The blookade•continned for over
an hour.. Then one policeman fired two
plsots at the faithful brute. Then the deg
plimged down the stairs to the door and
again blocked the way, snapping at All who
approached. He became so rabid that it
became absolutely neceseary :to kill him.
Fourteen bullets were fired At close range
before he fell dead. - Then. the dead body:
of the master was carried over the inani-
mate form of the pet dog.--Balent (Mass.)'
Corr. New Yoilt Sun..
NOith :East Sontli and West immense
sums are diked on the elections.. „
' rr Mark Twin took his jumping frog to
the'lloffinan Hansa he could get rich in in
Meanwhile 'they aro v betting on a Jump-
ing Cat that will take a leap in November.
Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands
put illievery night on the rreeidential re.
Old stagers say that • gulch e. gambling
Mania has never been heard of before'
• More Money Will change hands on elec-
tions this year than on the tad.
And the otrikes will 'swell immediately
when bets are ripe on the battle for Mayor.
•From the way citizens toes' big wide of
Money about you'd think the whole town
was populated .with plumbers.". ,
•'Bete of 1$10;000 in told each are chronic,
And before the next week we'llsee.this
doubled and trebled. . '
Billy Edwards, Captain Gannet and Jim
Peacock; Who .ktild the dikes, look like
'Safety Deposit vaults. ' • 4'
There'eno tariff Ott betting, excepting
the loss of your Vote if challenged but 00 -
body scares at that. .
Whichever Way the gift -edged cat jumps
next month, plenty of doleful oitiaens Will
wearcrape for the next year. --New York
Telegram. . ' • , .
• 4 Word 'WIth'the ,Bnainoss Won..
, If you want to he healthy you mud etit
regularly, as meat to -day will not 'servo.
you for to,naorroiv. To be Well and-htterty
eat at every meal tinitato he,prosperous in
business advertise regularly. Stop the one
and you starve and 'die. • Stopthe other
and your bush:team takee consumption, and
dies also.: Spasmodic advertising is like.
having h. ." feast incl a 'fan:line',-ITIOP0
famine than bast as it rale -- i
..and t; never
satisfactory. ,To take out;yout (lira in chill
times is like killing Your horse because he
is e little lame. It is in &ill times Me
moat advertising should be done and it is
in dull times that advertieing is the, most
effective, as more noticeistaken of printers'
kik then than at any, other_ time. -Clothier
and Furnisher. . .
Corl.••••••••••••.......••••.0
•
"
Wife (teerfully)-0h, dear; dear, I've
lost that -610 bill you gave me. .,
Husband --Ate you,•eure ? I sawyou
have itin the 'dining meta and in the Parlor
Wife ---When did you see it last •
ushande-I never saw it lad, my dear.
A $1.0 bill ie one of ihe , things that doesn't
"lad verongin thici house. • •
r'
which Wee the great poet's way of express-
ing that the Saviour turned -the AvAter--into-
wine. 'The father of this :child says that
hiaboy beganpreaching at Sunday, School
—get-right-up-and-talkedon,,Akany rato
the cshild is a curiosity.-Cincintutti,
Enquirer. • '
• Fresh from' 'Vanity iFair.
ber One funny story that went the rounde
-otwihnboys-Cattlie tiffie,andmitlef.eYer.Y.:
crowd roar tor whom it was recounted.
Am; who Wee editingthe Evening Canadian,
was invited to ft small affair at the Rossin,
but failed to attend. : Some of /the fellows
next day were telling bib ' what a good
time he had Missed. • . "
sorry, of course," said the genial
Irishman, but the f ant is, boys, I really
didn't -haveeblack-elathee-to -go.: in.. - The:
only garment I could have donned, in con-
tradistinction • to ;my unettidied everyday
attire waesnold ulster; and, as Ididn't
care to (liege .up inthat ulster and ,malfe7
all ffie.guests whd didn'thappen to have
on ulsteta feel , jealous.' and bad, ;why, I
ambledhome and took to my bed. Itis
quite true I Might have announced Myself
as the Man from 1Jlater,,but it *quid have
occasioned nie trio conspicuous and painful
notoriety. My native instinct, you know,
is to be humble and get in my two columns
of stuff a day Without any libel 'mita". T.
. ;
• A Queer cat Story.. ,
-' A correependent of the Forest had Streara
tells a story about a favorite cat that epee&
ergood deal Of her time in a coey,old arm-
chair... Her owner laid May put font hen
eggs intothe chair iby way of seeing what
puss would dewith them n order te snake
her bed mete comfortable: Strange as it
may appear,puss took •kiudly to the eggs
and in due time hatched four fine chicken.
For weeks' after the chickens were hatched
she licked them all Over every day with.her
tongue, caressed and fondled with them ,as
Much as if they had been her own' kitten?.
Whenever, the chickens. strayed from the
nursery the carried theist back tither mouth
as if they had; been 112E0 of the finest of
glass.
• A Demizikable Wi'i.gei; Won.
• A man won a wager, in Washington a
few. doe ego by lighting his cigar by the
'aid of slump. of ice. He took a piece of
clear ice, hhdat an inch thick, finial'. the
*stet cooler, Whittled it into the shape of
a disk, and with the palms or his hands
melted its two sides notriexathiis • giving it
the form of n double convex lens or burn-
ing
glase. With it he amused the sun's
rays on the end of his cigar,Ilitts lighting
the cigar. How Many fires occur in thie
Way that Ste said to .be "involved in me,
-.Cashmere...Colors ''nornhined.'Wi*..black
silk 'make's* altogether novel ,combination,
&nd will be .etylkeh the coming season.• •,.
Whitd.pOstuirielifor : the ••house are more
,Fina .p2cire •popular,:,. and are Wotli„ at 'Mt
hours, ., The matineegown itetiometioses oX
White,•euralt although:and:dee clothispre,
fated by.those of Moderate parse.... • ;.. • ,
Blholtarninte 18 combined with .oriental
silk which includes all the .rich,
colors in a chaotic weaving: The petticoat
is of .the .oriental ;eilk,also .thevest and,
trimining,•Whieh.aathe •seme. Coloring and
is used ati a .finish to . black silk '..costumes.
: ,• Metal trimmings • are lavished on Iiiorn.
ing toilete...f0r..honsie wearthio season.
Cashmerettend soft woolerni Of any 'sort are.
trimmed in these .fiiiihionabla•pastementer..
foe. All soft denii.thades are worn for:
morning &we* in preferefio to • the very
'Oelioftte colors. cooper,'.old rose, • gobelin -
blue and resedeatefitshiOneble' colors
'Oneof neW.labrice :particularly appro',.
priate.for a to:A...gown. is the ' double 'faced
surah woven in two :coloraf The arrange,..
went in a; 1,1tenph Modeuelitivre. both 'Edelen
Of the eilk in different parts of the:cod-0nm;
That it self,trimnied, .garment, saving
the icing:lace lishn Which is worn Nviti*
iPee.oli blew 'is ft: beantiful, shaded' yellow
whichtaakditan exquisite ,tea ,gown..
.W,orit with 'drearily lace boo *Which :falls:
from the neck to feet. • -•
ure dime: '
Citizen What are yont (bit% with that
. man? •
• Policenien--I've inst smelted liini.
Citizen: -Ret he's an deaf as a post. '
Volicemati-Ete'll get his hearing •befere
• the magistrate. . ' •
' GrandPa-Well, • Fred; .you're an unele
iov'; you ought to be realproud over it.
' Little Fred -No, I oughtn't to. I ain't
,no uncle. Grandpa -Why not? ' Little
Fred---ICatiso Pin an -.aunt; The new
baby's a girl'. '
,; 'Soto' ja.j'a, of West Africa,is 52 yeers
01
* :age, dud has only 200 wiectr. But for only
• One of hist better halves, if Ste% an exprea,
tden can he allowed Matheinatically,.ble he
any affection. • flit° is the' mother. of his
IRMO '" Saturday , and •" Stinday.”.
Sattirday " ie now at oehool in England,
•1!
•
r
•
"Let Us Both Be Thankful !"
'
A: commercial -traveller, who occupied
the same compartment with a clergyman,
asked him if he had ever heard that in
Paris as often as & . priest was banged a
donkey was hanged at the same•time. The
victim of the jokei replied in his blindest
manner: Well, then, let us hoth, be
thank/el that we are not in Paris:"
_ Contradictory.
That was it .contradictory Ott' of an
effusion written by a dieeliatge4 clerk to
his burner employers ' •• ,
• • Sept. 1, 1888. •
Itoed Doe. ;'
• Getrreemze You aro no 'gentlemen.
Reapectfully your°, JOHN &TITO:
-Harir/1:4 Bazar.
. Skidmore -There goes eine ofthe most
remarkable men of the present day! ,Haw-
kins -Indeed ?' What has ha done'?
Skidmore Began keeping ii.diary• Yannary
let and didn't etoptintil last week, . •
M ony p, proud man tvhoiliolde his head
Greet in the street hangs it in the horse eer
when there he Mee a lady clinging to the
strap. ' , •
'man .Wati "(Wei •Teolded OUt of his
sins.
Rives Parodied.
A parody The Quick or the Dead,"
entitled "The Rock or the Bye," has been
published in Mobile: Here is e sainple of
it: "There was it yawping wind a -howl
that slight, with no ,mist to moisten it; yet
it cringed and whimpered, ended, and was
httehed incessantly, as though wet to its
skin.' with it bliezerd. Agerieenia was.
deucedly cut up by her beaulees Walk from
the grocery, and from, finding thereat no
letter from Rye • for she had expected hint
to write, remiitingly. In the jios-jam
lightning she: saW her own profile, bleat cat
athward the suave and complaceneeky,llke
sada on litmus pipet.; and the dry. whitey -
mauve 'sand Swirled • elutchingly about her
massivebet in that wetless wind... And
after What thunderous fashion those feet'
pounded Warnibathwara..-7N, Tribune.
•••
, Origin ofii Fashion. ,r •
A charming French duchess, so the story
goes, had given her prOnlifie to attend some
festive ceremony at. the •TrOnville. casino.
Being Behind time, she, put her gloves On
:While ,driving, and never discovered till
full •bl • th '
ehe stoo t e aee o f e casino
drawing room that With her, black and
white silk costume sliohad put on one
white and One black glove. /t appears that
her maid had laid dut two pare of gloves
for her to...Choose from, and that the
duchess in her hurry had taken one .of
each pair. 1 h.J mischief; *however, coold
not be undone,and the odd result was that
at the nett fatihionable aseenablyell the
ladies at Treileille Wore gloves of differentsoboro.:
.
Made
' "Whore aia get his
volley, pignut' ' ..,,
'. 'From his uncle, old Sam Brown. lie
inherited everything he has in this world),
" i n
That
young growrie
, °keep 1 '0' he 10
. • ,0
•• Ile line* Women.
So.you're not coming to the echool's
picnic, Johnny," said Mr. Perkins: „ " •
"Yee, 1 am," said Johnny,
"Why, Johnny," exclaimed Mr. Perkins,.
"your mother said in ,my presence you
could not go."
"Guess you don't know women l" Fetid
Johnny, scornfully; ".wait till I've 'asked
the fiftieth time.'
Phirkin? . •
. Father -Certainly Oho dem, Mr. 'Young-
Visitor•-ihni glad, off it, I add°. Musks
myself. Piece well okeuted Wily carries
ma away.
Father • • Om:nee-give us a • se ec ion on
• .
the piano. -Life. • ,
"Oh! where shall rest be found?"
. The Worn-out nlother sighs •
Stodkinga to mend, and trouserato darn,
Dishes to wash, and butter to cliorn,, , •
While My back feele, to 'break, and , bead and
'heart burn,: .
. And life is a constant 'Motion..
The suminex`cameand went, •
The matron no longer sighs •
Blastic her step, and rounded bet cleek,.. • •
Work seems but pray; life is now sweet,
Andthe change was MUIR .one short week, •
• By Dr, Pierce% Favorite Prescription. •
•
gositive remedy for those derangements,.
iiregularitiesiand'weaknetia so ,commen .to '
womankind.
A woman hi Denver was so sensitivethat
when her husband called her a Slouch she
took poison and died... An average eastern.'
woman would havo. eimply replied: "You're
another," and in ten minutes the storm
would have been over., ' •
A Modern Trust.
Would-be customer -Will you trust me
for it few things for a couple of days?
Grocer -Come around in &couple of days
and I will. • .
Would-be customer -But I -will have the
reeney then,' • , , • '
Grater -Thin in when I would' trust
. 'Pie Got a Demerit. '
Ptofeesor of Cheinistryi-Gtintlenten, I
hold in my hand it vial of soda. What
elieinidsil.fibfill- I il-dtlibine with it. to pro',
duciavaluablOatticler of commerce? '
GoOdsby (waking up)o-d3r.r.randy.-
Judge. ' •
,
lAteral.Construction.
' Irate 'Father (to • young Bink) --S6
here, young men didn't I tell you never to
enter my gate again ,
Yoringt‘Binlm--:ltes„„eir gioa t didn't.
mom over the fence. ,
• -The Med curicitte thing aboat A lalie
hood is that, it can get over Wenn& bated
tory by' simply lying around.
MARVELOUS
•
r9,1
DIPOOVERY.
,
Wholly unlike artificial epitome.
• •leare of mind Wandering. '
' Any book learned in one reading.
Classesof 1,087 at Baltimore. 1,005 at'Detrof •
1,500 at Philadelphia, 1,113 at Washingkin
1,216 •at`Bbriton, largo classes of Columbia Law
students, at Yale, Wellesley, Oberlin, University
of Penn.; Michigan University, Chantautmeaeas.
etc. Endorsed by Itionaeb, FEOOTOB, the *nen
M.B
at, otts. W. W. AsT0n, Jenks( P. BENJAMIN
Judge GIBSON, Dr: Bnown, 13.11 coos. Prim sit '
state Normal college, etc. Taught by Cone"
pondenCe, "'resin:retail POST MEE from
PROF. LOIBETTE, 237 Fittli•Avo.,
D 0 N L 4z88
,T E.C130r$13.g:T M;t1g.tik• •
ift
n