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Lucknow Sentinel, 1888-06-22, Page 3• natuoN.034 • • Writer. SILLY SENTENCES .BIDICULED, The late Dean Alford once wrcite, 4$ There is no greater nuisance, in society 'than, a 'taw of slang," and we must honeetly cionfess that We agree with him. The good Dean Went perhaps, too far 011ie .opposite direction in his love for pure and jamtple Saxon. "Use the easiest :words in their COHIMOneSt`meaning,"- was his motto, • end he was almost ready to maintain that though all aro not gentlemen by birth, all might become ouch by modesty of language, by avoiding sinelarities, and by, m fact,' talking as 'tensible men* talk. Without, adopting this as a. sufficient definition of a gentleman, yet we can cordially. agree with the late Dean, of Canterbury in his ' reverence for the Queen's. English and his ,,abliorrence asenoeless slang: Cant phrases and *slang terms have been . nee in one .phapeur another slime the Tower, of ;Babel, and it °wallet be denied that without'theat 'iuchtht is e2gtriessive. and forcible in, opr language and in that of other' cotintrieo would be lost. But' then'it should be borne • in mind that slang. is essentially • ever 'changing, and that, unlike the patter of the • gipsies'abdathe secret languages of all na- tions if it is *Wm* point it is utterly valueless: And yet how little pnis be said ..2-1or the fashionableslangotto-day I Take, for instance, the word that come 'uppermost in most melee thonghts- 14 awfullir." Can anything be more .13upreme y ridiculous Oen, the. pries to Which this nauchaburied adverb is just now put in polite and society? Everything is " a*fully " M00, pretty, jolly • ; woman but she replies,with a smile, 14.0h, or fnnny, eti the case Mil'. he. Ono 777 even render a service to a fairly well-bred • thanks awfully," or • • HO* AWITLI4 GooD or xpu.'' .• A. more idiotie of the Word dafinot possibly he insagined. •It Was Carlyle, if ,H,.,..ete remember right, who once,. vainly at- ... tempting to illustrate thip,• remarked to a yoting lady who had been beautifully. • -besprinkling her conversation .• with •" &win:Ilya,' • suddenly remarked what a '41 ••••• " fine day it wail, and When she sp- peered horrified, gravely . pointed out that • it.was in no respect" worse than her silly • slang. It :menu hardly possible that , • educated men and .wonien; who would ad- mit of coins°, that the word. aWfill" is 913Fit&I)e2114414(tataRP.1*.PADA, eants.rkatp,,Sate.0t.'402kji, 4y, be well bred people are at a discount', as . compared with .the eosterinonger, for his slang, if it is commit, is to the ' point, and hots a plain and intelligible meaning. In the mashei-617the, difdi we do no),, expect. to find. brains, and consequently their vapid slang saying may very • well pose unnotieed friStilt ..tizist• otherwise :sfensible people should adopt certain foolish phrases becantie they are fashionable, and ihmild. hourly outrage their mother -tongue for no intelligible reason is, we confess; a • re, ;• 1 :th - d- • -'" , mystery. Another 'phrase not quite so ,objectionable•is " Thanks," or, ",Thanks, - very much," instead of the simple Thank you." Why should you: be 'thanked very ' muolror very vice,?, The aoluiciwledgment does not .scirely requiresuperlatives, which can in . no possible way indrease its value. At the ...dinnertahle yam aremot infrequently asked . to "assist " ,Yourself, or some one elsato • beefnr mutton., The.Yankee slang for the sante Wog is MU& more vigorous though • not se Superfine. guest in Anierica would probably be asked, Mr. Brown, sir; do • • you feel.beel 2", • :\ • •There is no. doubt ..that • French idioms are very largely drawn upon to 'furnish English faeltionable slang, and it is ' BATHER A &Mona PAoT • • ....,.....•keeTec;!-•tateaddiasevintyaitelleaqihrateisierm-owout .''•••• it the religion they profesa to,illirstrate an ea• mark for the scoffer. thSlashinnahle-worhVgaVe-waYii the" utterly, utter." rnthish Indulged in.by the teathetia sehed. 11 is Who. hcPcd, that this style will soda be, numbered with, the things of the Pact, and *het. it Will only be remembered asexemplifying to what (feirhe degra4ation, indulgence in slang w lead people- Had not a fashionable '•theatre marked it for its own; and heaped Upon it through Ai PatienCe " an avalanche of ridicule, it ie possible, that the 44 too • too," " consgramate " 4polloo1, might be A' living nir to " their teapots eien to the present clay. Sc true it to that there is no folly so great that the "mostly . feels," is defined by Carlyle, will not adoPt, if only it he fashionahle. The sham artistic slang which Mr. Whistler and his limp, crew indtilge is so utterly ridiculous au 'hardly to be worth senone comment. When piotnreri are, catalogued as "Notes," He.rmoniert," and "Nocturnes," surely we have • TOUCHED BOTTOM AT LAST. •It is hard to imagine any one out of Bed. lam -entering a 'picture gallery to leek for a 44: Variation in violet and grey," a " bTote in flesh color and orange," a" Little grey note," a "'Caprice in blue and oilier," a 44 Nocturne ingrey and goldr'ind •eo on eemPared to each twaddle as thip, the nurbe who sari to her little 'charge, "Wil Gamy porgy ride in a coaohy pottoby 2" is &Ammo. There may be some excuse. for the. gibberish with .which infants, are re. galedhy their _elders„..although eV611 'this form of affectionate sitingmay be pushed too far, but there is none for the wilful murdering of. the Queen's Englialt in which sorne Men.and Wemea delight, partly for the vulgar pleasure of gaianngnotoriety and partly liecause they think to feel silly, and to be Billy, is a sure sign ofgood breeding. .When will societY learn that slang -to be tearable moat be pointed and 'have a meaning; that unmeaning phrase's; or worse, therm .with an utterly distorted meaning, are as sure a sign of poverty of • intellect as they are of a vacant' mind? We ' can '-eXetitte -a. young man at Oxford who speaks of hie friend as hiS "Chapple" or his "JohnnY; " of his fatherau his 4"Governor" cirhis Officer;" or whe tells you he has been Spierised ''. when he • has been hating his hair out by Spiere in High •otreell. ;Hie failing in this ,way is one perhaps of the least harmful of the follies of youth.But we have nothing. but •;coetemptfor the grown men and women wile wantonly out- rage their native tonguethist he or she may attract attention as an "awfully jolly" person who hates nothing so much • as 4nuttiT=TAMilatt. .ant-4-taffa •-• a , The King.af Cofer. , It is a curious circumstance that red, the Unseen coloref o Many;.is the favorite color and may be Called the king -color of t4ieno8maL eye.. It was especially BO in artaient times. If we asemune the Bible we'-shall,find-that,the-Hebrews-soatoely- ever nee cOlor ma'am epithet, as we do when ;we say" the bine sky," ",thepurple hills." The"say, indeed, " the Bed Sea," but bine is scarcely mentioited as seen in netti on y -in ' u an ntirpleand rioarlet of the' tabernacle hangmge, .or the high priest's robes, or the pavementciftho kings. palace, of " red and blue and black and whiteinarble,".....in _Ake_ Book-of.„1-Msther. Yellowexcepting as a, eign of dipetute, iP Mentioned but once or twice.: , "Her feithere like yellow gold." • But red ° is largely spoken of; as in . later times, and perhaps as int:erns:41y, for we did not invent, we only inherit: the expressions, ".red gold," red wine," one of these' being merely. orange and the other a ruddy par- ,ple. 64 Red hair " is' a modern; or rather ".. • •s' that as fast as they come generally into use here, SO. are.. they quickly drpkied by.our polite neighbOrs. Snail words aS •tapis, beau monde, chaperon, , and the like, • are never used by Frenchnien-in the sense in whiciir weapply the*: .and we doubt if ;any other civilized notion has ' in ' ite ,Wocalitiliiry, any Word. equal, to • our nrienged," When aiinounCing ala appioiteb." ing-marriage in high life. It has become the fashion to make use of it, 'but it would a : be diffoult to sho* on what ,,ground its Use can be jinitified • or ,eien tolerated. • ilfatrintenyrentinds ns of a dood of silly sding,in :which: not only engaged couples, hut too Often Man and yckfe, are .weak enough to iduIge. 4,4,Ownest own," .14 loVey," ".dnekey ' and oidearey," are not nowadays 'reserved only "for, strictly • priiate ocloasions, wheziat lead they May. In indulged iirwithout offending listeners, '•• but. they 'float around you in the 'draw ng -room or , the . be-h.:MOM, and! the ••speihers • thrust themselves before you in onoh a 1mauner ' as,to say,•. '4,4 Don't you ' envy us cooing, dice; our •• beautiful language of love? "a --,As a Well- ' imown,Writerhas very jut* observed, "A " nian may, as welreitck hie thumb AR hid • fife as talk or allow to be talkedto hint Pubh drivelling. nominee," Dr. :Johnson had a just horror of it, and was neve r tired . of denotinoing the praptice in society inhis • 'day of higgingin French, Italian' and Latin. phrases; as though our niother tongue wart • incapable of expressingthe extra superfine' , feelings of the men and women whosejeiced in rouge, powder and • ruffles. ' Another ° provoking form of slang ,is You 'don't soy so," 44 Dear me," prebably clerlyed front the Italian Dio Mid,. or " Ethsi • funny"--rentarks. which are thrown at on it every. interval in conversation, as if hey were the Most Original in the world . And bore a 'arid relation to the subject 'of ' • need partly from a pernicious habit- and partly to . • , HIDE TEE NAKEDNESS 0THE .LAND in thOseWho have redditrie• to theni. But . perhaps the very went description of what ' suppose tie must call fashionable slang, as compared with Vulgar . idiom, is that indulged M. by Strictly religions people. An old-fashioned clergyman Used • to refer to his.pnlpit as the black loft," and very offensive 1aokiteryi often ie. The ex- tremelligh andthe extreme Low Church are the gravest offenders in .their mei Of . religious slang, and the „ phrales in.which• . their folldwers cridolge are, air every one knows, op far removed from anything lip- • * prbaching to piety or reverence as toi,make • . , • • metineval, inaccuracy; "ed cow " we get from the • anciente. ' These epithets' all appear to show a certain fano), for calling things red as the more kingly and costly calor. --jean Ingelow in Good Tords.., • A •UnanIblous OPInh).14- • 'Twas a glorious night and two loving folks sat upon the oliffside, With the eternal ocean flowing at their feet with a calmness and placidity that were almost appalling. They were looking at the stars abbve and he turned to his. ,girl and tiaid, tenderly 44* darling,'I don't 'iusderstand what you can see in Me to lave me so." She replied:: 44 That's what everybctdysays.", The silence was greater than ever.—Tid-Bits. • ' ; The Story of the Prhiarose. • It is said that .the primrose was not Lord BeaSonsfield's favorite •fiower at all, and that the story that it was 'arose front the fact that the 'Queen sent to grade his collitNa wreath. of those flowers with a card bearing the inscription; in her own hand- writing,- "His favorite flower." But she meant.. the , favorite of her own 'husband, Prince Albert, not of Beaconsfield. ' , • The vOyage.from maiden fair , to.Wornan- hood is often attended with many 1 perils. •Mothers should ineist upon their daughters being prepared with every means of safety. Universally 'acknowledged se thereliable. 4' Life-preeerver " on this rough see of un- certainties is Dr. PieMe'e Favorite Pre- scription. It has averted manym. disaster. It hap. resoued Many a periled life. This pop-, ular" , remedy ie prepared. especially •for Woman. . Xis the only remedy of its class 'Old by druggists under a nositive guarantee' to etre Benefaction,•' This guarantee has been faithfully carried out by the mann- factnrers for;many years. . . •' • Plausible, Anyhow. ' "What," cried the condemned man as e stood on. the ocaffold, whatbrought me here? What led me step by step to this fell machine of death? Oh, young man, Can you net guess?" • • " Whiske 2" o, e s en 1. ince n ournal. • 41-' • ..... . .... • .. 12: . .. ................. . mimmin171;--"". .. ......•.. ...... . . -`• 'lastaurt-• saw tcorxwgig, 18.87- 1 . , . ... . •• The .only Medicine: for woman's Peetiliar ailments., sold by dru'ggiste, tinder a positive gUarlint009. 'from the manufacturers, that it will give .satisfaction in every case,or money will be refunded is Du Prunes's FAVOitrim PnESCHIPA0t. This guarantee ben been printedon the bottle -wrappers, and faithfully darned out for many years. " "" • . , . . . ' THE-..cycyTailowrili• ,011, A,. VASt EXPERIENCE.; ‘ • . • , The. treatment of many thousands: of cases of those chronic wealtneuSes and dJetfetulpg 'aihnente .peenliar to female, at tbs . . . , . Invalid's' Hotel and $nrgical Institute. •Thiffalo, N. Ir„ bus atrorded a islet .expprience in nicely adapting and thoreughly.testing .. remediels for the mire of woman' d peculiar' maladies, .• , . • A Bioti To WOMEN. Dr. Pierces. Fatinr... 10:Prescription is the outgrowth, or result, of thig „great , and valuable • experience. . Thousands of 'testimonials, received from patients and from physicians who have tested it in the more aggravated and obstinate cases which had baffled their skill, prey° it to be the most.wonderful remedy ever devised for the relief and cure of suf- fering women. It is. net recommended as a "cure-all," but as a most perfeet Specific , for woman's peculiar diseases. •As a powerful. in. vigorating tonic, it, imparts: strength to the whole System, and to the uterilsor'womb and its appendages, in partica, • lar, For overworked, ''worn : " run'," down," debilitated teachers, milliners; dres,sinalters, scans; stresses, "shop -girls," honsekeepers, nurs- ing Mothers, and feeble women geraerall3N. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the greatest earthly boon, being•sunequaled •as an appetizing cordial and restorative tonic. It inuniotes digestion" and tiesimilatien of food, cures nausea, weakness :of, stomach, °indigestion; bloating and eructations of gas. ' °As a SoOthing and strengthening A SoOTHING7 Her:rine,. Favorite Prescription une-. ;•• 'HERNE. „. in allaying. and subdit; iktialed, and invaluable. ity, eixligaugnetiroveTWProesiteraittaibolit • hysteria, spasms and other distressing,' nervous symptoms commonly attendant .suppoonno•fnuony., etion. al and' organic. :disease of • the wemb, • -.It' induces: :refreshing sleep end relleVes inental ' anxiety' and de-. • • Dr. Pierce's Favorite Preserip. tion .• is a, legitimate medicine*. • calufully :Compounded by an experienced • and skillful physician, and 'adapted to woman's delicate organhation:' It is purely vegetable in its. composition . and • perfectly 'harmless 'in its • effects ) in any condition of the system. • • In PregpancY, "Fa, width Prescription " is w ."mother's cordial,' :relieving --nausea, weak- ness Of. stomach . and • other dietressieg ,symni,4 , &One einiimon to thatr con on. If its nse 15 kopt up in the. latter' months' of gestation, it so proems 11, MOTHER'S CORDIAL # • the System for delivery as to greatly lessen, mid many times almostentirelydo: away with the sufferings of that trying ordeal. “Favairite, Pro- scription" is a positive curt, for the most complicated and obstinate elites . of leueerrhea, or •, " whi ex essi .sowing at monthly periods, painful men- struation, unnatural suppression, prolap- „ • sus or falling of the womb. 'weak back, female 'weakness," anteversion, retrover- aim, bearing-don.sensations, chronic congestion, inflammation. and ulceration ' Of the Worab, inflammation, pain and tenderness in ovaries, accompanied with "internal heat:" • • ‘ tion,"c Fti won wo hri teihnt the takr tesinoefreincri: Pierce' s.' Golden Medical Dis- covery, and small laxative doses of Dr. Pierce's Pur- , _ Pur- gative Pellets (Little Liver eures.-Liver, Ridneynnd Bladder dis- eases. Their combined use also removes blood taints, and abehshes cancerous and scrofulous humors from the eystent. CORES THE WOOST CASES. "FOR ?HE 'MONEYS. ArnExrxNtar THE 147171.01\Tar• •EasE21,SE., • Many times -women ball on their family physicians, suifering, art they imagine, one from dispepgia.nnother from heart disease, another from liver or. kidnerdiseue, anotherm . fronervous exhaustion, or prostration, another with pain here or there, and in this way therall Present alike to theingelVek and their easy-going and indifferent, or over -busy doctor. separate and distinet diseases, for -which he prescribes his ping and potions, assuming them to be such,. when, In reality, they ars all only. egnmtoms Caused by sonic womb , disorder. The physician, ignorant \cif 'the cause a- sintering, encourages his practice .untli large bills are made.Ibe suffering patient gets no -better, but probablrwordek. by reason of thedelay, wrong treatnient• and Consequent complieatiOnS. A proper medicine, like Dn. PiEncE's PA.v0a1TE, PRESCRIPTION. directed to the cause, would have entirely.removed the diseate, thereby .dis- pellin$ all those distressing symptems, add instituting comfort instead of 'prolonged misery. . .• ' Mrs. E. F. MOnasiv; of '.N"o. 71 Lerinirion St... 3,Putimikits fg4b!a•V`f"441161481i.8711' 414u11111, .vianeigravlifn%.'ir"Rayatiliosted-tfazt11-4 • vouldwith Aifficulty :cross •the .reera -alone. I . began %taking: Dr.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and using the' local treatment recommended...in his iCeninion\Senee., ').,ledical.:Adviser.' I. commenced to iinprove at once. In three menths°1 Was perfectly.. cured; and. have :had no trouble since.: 'I wrpte a letter' to. my, family paper, briefly mentioning haw thy - health hadbeen reatered, and offering to send the full particulariK, to any one writing msf,or, them, and enclosing a stamped -envelope• .fOr reply. have. reeeived3Ver four hundredletters • In . reply, 1 havedesclibed my ease atid-the treatment used, and have ear- nestly advised them to 'do likewise? Front a great •many I have received seeend lettereof thanks; stating thatthey had cern- menced the use of, '4 Favorite . Prescription,' : had sent the 81:5() • required for the 'edical Adviser,' and had applied the local treatment do fully' and plainly Iaid:40*n therein,and.W.era_ro.uch:::. -betteralready?".7.... • . • , . . • , „ . . • .. Retroverted tirtint13.-Mrs. EVA. itolizza. of Crab Orchard: Neb.. •WrIteS:._!` Dro•Pieree's-Pavorlte 'Preacription-hat done, me great deal of. good: I suffered:from retrnversion of theuterus, fee which I took two bottlesof thsa'averite,prescriptionitand4:- am new' te-oluke---a :different' women:" • • • • - " • • . • • .lanetoers Falled:2--Mrs:• CoUtiirt, Of: Pint Creek N.: E. , writes: 'I doctored, With three or four Of •tho best doctors in thee parts,. and I grew : worse until :I wrote to you and began • using your 'Favorite PreseriPtion.' 1 used three bottles of it. and two of the golden Medical Discovery; alsoi one and a half bottles of the 'Purgative Pellet's: }can do my work and sew and walk all I 'care to, and ani in better health than! ever etpeeted te: be in this world again. I owe. it All to your wonderful medicinee." • . • • . . . . . . , . Mrs. L'ix M. eituperix.; of: Oakland. - • . Arnie. writes: ..•ki had been troubled air • " raYdifeativith, pherggetical.atittackwunultdaar"'"kr" •krusysni.,(4,-sonispastneiatitid.:4selittli-Otilag,ggr'• ' treirce5tf:Sawrz!lrett=r44===';'&.:c been sasinglieuravetite,• :Prescription' I have had.noneOf these.. I. also had womb complaint so bad that ' .I. could. not walk:. two blocka Without the niost, severe Tiain;:but ;before 1 had tliken your :`Favorite Prescription ' two'. months. I •,' could walk' all over the City Withoutoinconvenience. All .m3r troubles • Seem to "be leaving me Under the benign innuence of your medicine, and I now feel smarter .than for years before. My \physicians' told .me that / 'could not be ieuredoand therefore You . • w81,--piettscrireceptiriy-ever1asting-tbanke-forwbat.youlave-dontr.'.,..-. for me, and may, God bless You in Your good Works." : Later: she writea: • "It is now four years since I.took your 'Fa- • -aeries Prescrintion? and have had no .return. or thefemale trouble I had then:" • . .' • • , ' : chinettect 'Falls., Wie.."Viiteti: •sviah to inform yentliat I am. as *alas 1 eVer waa."for which I thank, your Medicines:. 1 took four bottles 'of the Favorite: Prescription!' and one bottle of Yoiar 'Discovery' and font' betted of the 'Pellets?. All :the bad aymntems have • •disappearecU I de all My :Own work ; am able te be 94.E.i4Y Pet an. _ . , • • V„Faearite' prescription I* sent' by Retiggiste usa World Oier/ $1.00; for 8600# . , . a • itAr Send ten cents in stamps for.Dr. Pierces large, illustrated ,, „Treatiseustuoges; paper covers). Diseases of Women, . . . . , • . . Addressen...VitOrld9S:DierensiixyAged.1eitlAssocisatikon;• , No. 666 Main' Street, DIISTALO, ' . , . • ..) . 'at slime School Studies• , 47,A7Taiolier had • a smell' class, in easy physiology. They. had Several lessons on the ear, and hid' been thoroughly drilled on themanies and tine of all its parts, so that when. some visitors dropped in the teaoher was glad it happened to he the. hour for this elites to MAW: After asking several otiesqonsand receiving prompt and correct answers, she: said: 4,4 What is the name of the canal in the ear ? " The. child hesitated a moment and then epoke up loud . and .IA01 : "The' Eno canal." Another teacher aekettOne of herscholars the meaning of .the • wprd 4! vipissitude. "Change," Was the reply. "That's right," said the teacher; ntivr' gite Me a sentence with the word . vicissitude •in it:" • 44 My mother'senkme to the store to.vicissitride .a dollar bill,."Detroit kine Preis. • Shire 14.op. Polson's NEnyittim, the. great Paincure, is sere pop every time. No need to spend a large suni to get prompt 'relief .from every kind of pain, for .10 onto will. purchase a trial bottle. Goto, any drug dere for: it. Large betties Only 25 ciente, it all druggists. Neiviline the. pain , king, ' cares cramps, heticlachel neitrelgia: An aching teeth, filled with batting saturated with Nerviline, will cease aching within five mintites:' Try Nerviline for all kinds of pain. 10 and 250. , • Mummies Made: to Order. •"; A gentleman who his Piot returned froin an extended foreign tour was asked\yester- day Why he had not brought hon* from Egypt, among other curios, a mummy.Re mud there *se a great deal of fraud in the. . mummy business. Persons purchasing, muniinies, of course, like to get them es * well preserved and natural looking as pas, '•Bible, and these are found generally in. a more Or less dilapidated bondition,.venders 'having , engaged hi the roanufactitre of bogus mummies'. - They bargain with. trantps beggars:and such -people for their defunct carcaoSes, paying therefor ;a. anim • sta.:dent to make their'reresining daya .short and sweet. .These \fellowe are proa. served and pickled' and then • snioked.tilt 'they are good imitations of the genuine mummy. Whole rdwri. Of these articles •can be seen in snmke-houses, at once: When sufficiently dry' they, are- :wrapped .in murnmy-ohith and, sold; to Americana chiefly, bringing a • high price.-Toractit4 Oregonian: " • a bottle. ' • „ . Danger sit Fauaiiiarlty. • , .Ajyonng Man ought not propose too •gra °fully. If he dotte the girtmay get the idea that he has had more practice than • she deems dciairable.--4anBernardino•Index.' Detectives Wanted, • •• • to ferretbut and discover, if they can, a single ease.where Dr. PierceGolden Med.. ioal Discovery hart been need for torpid liver, indigestion, impure blood, or et:m- em:nation in iteparly, otages, withontgiving immediate and permanent relief;, provided, of course, thatthe, direotione . have been reasonably followed. • • 1 • • t tendon% Great :Growth. The growth of London,England, is some- thing. marvellous, A recent article in Chambers' tottrnat stater] that,within the Metropolitan district, an' area of 688' imitate mites, exclusive of the City proper, there is a population of 5,660,000, that the number of policilier 13,800 and that during the year:1686 12,252 new houses were built, making twenty -pine n:aes of new streets, • President Cleveland confesilea that once in his life hebas been envione. J.P4 Bass, of 'Bangorisent a big Penobedot tialmon to the White, llourie a little while ago, and. the. President, in acknowledging the reman. brew*, has wHttent "1 euppose Z ought not to ask more than the opportunity you have offeredme of ,eapturing My share ef the fish when mimed and upon .,the table, but 1 ani mean enoigh to envy the man who caught Exalted honors. have tibt abated that Old-tiMe love of flohing.' Ql-evernOr Bob- Tayler Wring been re..' nominated, Tennesoee is 'looking forward to another eampaign of long -singing and fiddling. y ' 'mint Ails Tow • „ 'Do you haie 'obstruction cif the nasal pass,ages,. discharges from.head.and throat,. pometimee profuse,. . arid and watery, at others,'thick, tenanous, in'ucens, Purulent, bloody, putrid and offensive ; dull, heavy hericlaohe 'racist of the time, withodoesional • 44 splitting,hearlaohes ";.are your eyes weak, Watery, or inflamed.; is there ringing in the ewe, with more or lees deafness ; do you have to haok, dongh and gag inyour efforts to clear your throat in .the morning; 'do you expectorate • offensive matter; „scabs from ulcers, petits:pc tinged with blood ; lo your voice ohanged..and is: there: a "nasal twang "AB it,; is your breath offeneive; are • your senses of taste and emell impaired? If you have all or any considerable num- ber of them symptoms you . are ',offering from that Most common and dangerotig of Maltsdiee•-,-ohronid raper catarrh. The more complicated Your digeage has become, the greater the number and diversity. symptoms. • No matter what stage it has ' reached, »r. Sago's Catarrh Remedy, which • sotebrtittiggigth-ht onir5 cen , cure it. The manufacturers of this wonder ful remedy offer, in good faith, $500; for .a case of this disease they cannot cure. For All Seasons. ^ • Countryman to furniture dealer -..I want to get a bed' an' a mattress... •' • Dealet-,Yed, ilit ; apring mattretio, I s'pOse, sir? " Countryman—No; 1 want that kind *at ' kin boomed all *e year around. ' A Vartridga With:, the Chiekens. . • . _ A few `days since, a partridge..doreiciled- herself among J'etteph-Humphrey's chickens," being the fourth that has done the same Altogether Too Cheep: "A wamtm at Dayton', O.," says an eft - change, "offers to fiend any one fourteen thing within a few vieeks.-+-Dafisvillek X Y., rules for selecting a wife for '25o. Who . • Advertiser, ,r tyants a Wifefor 25 09i2t,er ' THE COOK'S BEST FRIENKB, r QUEETI.BESS' PATTERN. . Joke.s from the Schools. • " Whatdo you . know about Sir Hiimphrey Gilbert? " asked a teacher history. • • • , Silence for some Minutes. , •. . At last a girl blurted out : know I Sir • atimphrey was the man who obtained Pattern from Queen Elizabeth for the purr - pose 'of settling .Aineriea." ' • • • \ ABOUT inatur's POCKET. A teacher was talking to her At 0 Clain about htthh,liary's pooket, Winch had It •tole in '4$49hy," Said she, "pockets' with holes in tliti.tire of no use." ' 't Yes, they, are," iTesid a little boy), " for lishoeiercp,uldn't .get ter. ith_o_n,t no• ' . , Prepared For the Ifstemy:N Incensed citizen (entering sanctum with horse-whip)—".B� you the editor of this .here 'paper ?" Editor -44 Hist no; I am not' ' lam an anarchist, waiting for him with this dynamite bomb." (I. C. vanishes).— •• Puck • • ..TD CN L. 25,04", IIERCIIANTS BOTCHERSTRADEBs . -. , . 1 . genewiy. . • 'We Want W aoOn StAx•in year locality to piSk UP . . . . . , . .. S n n . ALF„ SKIN . .... .• for us. Cp.sh Furnished on satisfactoryguaranty Address,'. 0. $:PAen,, ilyde Park;Nennonti U. it. The:Shoed • -.Leather iteporter,. N. Y. and Shoe, .. . . it Leather Review, Chicago, the leading trade" • papers Of MOILS. in the tilde line, have sent their representative's to investigate ' Mr:, Page's buid. ' noes, and after a„, thorough examination and cont ,parison the Reporter gives him thin endorsement : "We believe that in extent of light -weight raw triaterial, cote d "end carried, Mr. 'Page hokla' tc4c the lead Of On ' runpatiter and that his „present , stock is.: tho • euit held ..bireing house in this echintry." ‘ ' And the Reviote Says: . ' , . . '4' After ci. moSt thorotigh, investigation .of Mr Page's business' as 'compered lilith otherszn seine rim,, we have ,becon•43fang satisfied that or his . • iakteaeightatteeklav 1 unaineetionab he Zargest dealer ini this 'country, Whtle in engern „oriel/ ofctiality.he ie.donfeasedlyntlha head."' • QUEBY.:.! it Mr: 13agti'a business is the largest ' In its line in the United States, is it not thei•best possible proof Of his abilitythpay highestpricesV If he diduot do so „would he naturally get Mere • filthis than any Of his domeetitote in the sainelitiO: ' • . , , . * •*. t 41' • ,„ • a;', '11