Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1983-05-25, Page 7• THE HURON EXPOSITOR, MAY 25, 1983 -- A7 Battered wives stay because they're. reluctant to try it alone She could be the woman across he room from you at a party, Maybe she Ives next door, or on a farm on the next co cession. She could even be you. She's 18 or she's 50. No matter what her age or where she lives, he life is probably in danger. She's a battered woman. If national trends hold true, one in 10' women in Huron County is beaten by the min she lives with. Some women who have been beaten; others who are involved with shelters and support groups locahly.and a man who used to beet his wife got together in Goderich May 16 to talk about the problem. The workshop on wife battering was the final one in atiseries sponsored by Women Today. In answer to one woman's "1 can't understand why women who are beaten stay with their husbands, put up with it, won't go the police and lay a charge," other wom n explained that a woman who is beaten is t ified. The man %rho is abusing her physically is also telling her she's nothing and she loses her self-confidence. Families often encour- age a woman Who's being abused to "put up with it." A sort of learned helplessness comes into pla and the victim thinks somehow the b stings are her fault. The man is lovingnd remorseful after the c in ident and the Victim thinks "next time will be different.'' If you're being beaten and think it's your own fault, there s a tremendous guilt and shame. You don't ask for help because you Walton Correspondent BETTY McCALL 887-6677 Due to the unsettled wea- ther on Friday "Play Day" was cancelled, A field trip for the grade one of Walton don't want anyone to know about the beatings. "Women have been beaten up to 35 times before making that initial tele- phone call for help," said Debbie Bunjevak of Women's Community House, a shelter for battered women and their children in' London. The house, which has hosted 400 battered women in five years of operation, has space for 14 women and children at one time. That only scratches the surface of the need. "For every fancily we house we have to turn away two. While about 30 per cent of operating funds come from London Cit Social Services, $77,000 was raised from the community last year by Women's Commun- ity House supporters. Huron, Perth beaten women have shelter A similar shelter, the Huron County Crisis Centre. opened this month near Bayfield. It has been used by battered women already, explained board member Lynn Smith. Optimism House, a new shelter in Stratford, is now open to women and their children in Perth County and surrounding areas, the co-ordinator, Muriel -Steel, said. It has four staff members and has just trained a first group of volunteers. More are needed. Many battered women stay in a violent home because they have no where else to go. By providing shelter (women can stay a month or six weeks) they give women who are beaten time to think to take stock of their lives without interference. Counselling is available but just as important is the chance to learn you are not alone and to talk to other women who have been battered. In a shelter women who've been beaten feel safe for the first time in years. "1 didn't want to even go outside for a week," is a common reaction. There are people who understand to share your story with, people who don't judge, people who believe you. You can try and figure out why the man's background led hint to beat you up, one woman said. Sometimes there is no why, another woman replied. "He becomes something un - human." Security precautions at Women's Com- munity House include a locked door with a one way glass window and not giving out information about who is in residence. If a battered woman decides to leave, the staff of a shelter can help her through the courts, the welfare system, the maze of often unsympathetic bureaucracy she'll come up against. Laying an assault charge against her husband. one woman said, was "the biggest decision of mybigger gB life," than deciding to marry. She thought of nothing else for days, because she felt once you charge him "you can't go back." Because society sees the family as sacred, something that must be kept together at all costs, family violence isn of school play day cancelled Public School had been scheduled. teacher and volunteers left the school by bus to visit the Grant Coultes sheep farm at Belgrave and stop at Baintons in Blyth on the way, They were back in time tor lunch. The class has been study- ing "The Story of Wool" as part of its Signs of Spring unit in environmental studies. Boys going home with Jamie McNichol from school on Friday after school to celebrate his seventh birth- day included Chris Steven- son, Matt Lee, Kevin Mc- Donald, Kipp Wiesbord, Jamie Bennewies and Paul Bennewies. It was Pentecost Sunday at Duff's United Church. Mrs. Viola Kirkby gave the high- lights of London Conference with reflection by the Rev. Charles A. Swan. Don Hick- son gave youth group activi- ties. The Unified Board meeting was held Monday evening, hostess Mrs. Margery Ritch- ie. Anyone having items to be picked up for the garage sale June 11, are to contact Howard Hackwell or Ken McDonald. Seven tables of euchre were in play at the community hall May 17. Prizes were awarded to high lady, Viola Kirkby, low -Rena Watt, Blyth; high man -Alvin Mc- Donald; low -Charlie Boyd, Seaforth, most zeros -Mel Jacklin, Brussels. condemned. "Many helpers make it harder for women to leaveand encourage her to go back home," one participant said. Another abused wife told of visiting a lawyer to talk about getting a divorce. "Do you play tennis? ' he asked her. Another was told by her clergyman to go back to her husband because his family gave a lot of money to the church. The judicial system cooperates in this co-ercion to keep a woman who is beaten in her home, the man who was a former wife beater said. "She's got nothing, her husband persuades her' and most women hack information about their rights and how to get support for their children and themselves. Courts are too lenient when a woman finally does charge her husband with assault. (The London police are one of the few forces in Canada which will lay charges against wife batterers; in most centres the woman herself must lay charges). "They tap a man's wrist and send him home. They don't make him get•help,"•said the woman who did charge her husband. Men who batter need help too, the lone male at the workshop said. "We're not big strong fairy tate creatures." A self-help group batterers p of hes been formed in London called Changing Ways. You need to look at what happens to you and why. you learn from each other, the man, who attended with his wife, said. "I've been down that road, on it. I'm not bragging." The group saw the National Film Board documentary "Loved, Honoured and Bruised" about a woman five children' who finally left her husbaild after years of beatings. The husband, a rather timid man, explained in the film that beating his wife was like disciplining the children: "You do it because you love them." $eying that he shied away from conflict with the outside world. the husband said when he's under pressure, he takes it out on "the closest person at hand." Although she and her children faced an eight -mile walk to the nearest town, the woman left her farm home because she feared for their lives. She had thought no one knew about her constant beatings, but a neighbour picked the family up dn,the road, saying "I've been watching the house. I've been worried about you." After a stay in a shelter, the woman and the children have started a life on their own in Winnipeg. Small towns need understanding help Getting to that stage of independence isn't easy. One woman at the workshop praised London police and their family crisis teams and a Salvation Army woman who explains the court system in that city. "It would be nice if Goderich had someone like her. ' - "Help in a small town is zero," another said. "My so-called friends wouldn't go to court with me." In another beating Institute hostesses were Elva Bolger; Alberta Stevens, Mary Humphries and Vera McDonald. May 31 will be the final euchre of the season, a dessert euchre starting at 7:00 p.m. The 17th and Boundary Unit made arrangements for the ham supper on Tuesday June 7 at the church. Also for up coming showers on May 25 and June 3. USE EXPOSITOR WANT - ADS Phone 527-0240 PARTS DEPOT SERVICE DEPOT al (WATSON APPLIANCE REPAIR located in Sebrtngville et (PHELANS PLACE situation, police wouldn't testify for the . victim and a Justice of the Peace was no help. Others were threatened by their husbands in an attempt to have them drop charges. One woman described a scene a friend had witnessed in a shopping centre. A young woman had s tlh!d a cart full of parcels and her baby. The baby was crying and a male companion yelled at her: "If you don't shut that baby up I'll kick your face in." The witness tried to help the young woman and she too was threatened by the man. "Get away, he'll hurt you," said the scared young woman "What can you do in a situation like that?" the woman asked the group. Discretely hand out a card from one of the distress centres, or even a card with your own number on it, and whisper "there is help %Shen you need it, was one suggestion. Some of the sources of help Shelters for battered women and their children: (Most are open 24 hours a day): Huron County Family Crisis Centre 482- 7988; Optimist House, Stratford, 271-5550; Women s Community House, London 439- 4543; Family Consultants (crisisworkers with London Police) 438-3291; Changing Ways. London (self-help group for batter- ers) 679-7210; Huron Centre for Children and Youth. Clinton (family, marital and children's counselling at no charge) 482- 39.31. SHIP YOUR CATTLE i 1 THE CO-OP WAY 1 - UNITED CO-OPERATIVES OF ONTARIO ONTARIO STOCK YARDS [4161 767-1143 PH. 393-6181 ROY'S RADIATOR SERVICE RR2 MITCHELL 348..9114 Also specializing in Front End Alignment & Wheel Balance "ONE LE SOUTH OF DAVE'S SU CO SERVICE" YOUR U.C.O. SHIPPER IS O'ROURKE TRANSPORT DAVID OR BRYAN 1 1 1 345-2913 RESIDENCE - 348-9009 Shipping Day - Every Tuesday Morning Drainage pays off in fertilizer efficiency May Green - Good drainage makes any fertilizer work harder increased fertilizer usage Is no alternative to good drainage — they must be used hand -In -hand. Healthier soli Increases the effectiveness of fertilizers and at today's conatantly climbing costs, It Is imperative that the maximum benefit Is derived from every ounce applied regardless o1 the source. TILL MAY 28, 1983 Laredo Barbecue FRAISER — SULLIVAN Colleen Elizabeth Sullivan, daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Sullivan of Halifax. Nova Scotia and Jon Carmen Fraiser, son of Mrs. Geraldine Fraiser, .Egmondville and the late Jack Fraiser were married at St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church. Dartmouth. Nova Scotia on April 23. Father Lewis Casie performed the ceremony. Gloria Falkenham was her sister's matron of honour. William Falkenham, brother-in-law of the bride was best man. Jon and Colleen will be residing in Toronto where Jon is posted with the Navy. Need sleep R.R. 1 GADSHILL. ONTARIO NOK 1J0 519-656-2618 9 9' each • Large 359 eq. In. cooking area • Twin 15,000 stainless steel burners • Dual Infinite level heat controls • 30,000 BTU's maximum Cooking outdoors is fun with this Laredo pro- pane gas barbecue. Just strike a match, turn on the gas and you're ready. Included with this barbecue is the cover, rotary ignitor, front shelf and lava rock. Propane tank must be purchased separately. All gas fittings installed and tested for safety 573-181 3 H.P. 20" Lawnmower • Dependable 0 cycle 3 H.P. Tecumseh engine with recoil start • Easy -to -reach handle controls • Exclusive ultra -life "AUSTEMPERED" blade lilts grass for a clean cul • Front and rear baffles Quality and performance That s what you get with the 'Crusader lawnmower It's rugged. reliable with many features as standard equipment 6" extruded front and rear wheels adjustable from '."-3" height 545-316 • (TANK NOT INCLUDED). . CO-OP EXTRA VALUE People with respiratory problems need all the sleep they can get. researchers at the Medical College of Vir- ginia in Richmond have found. Healthy volunteers. after only 27 hours of enforced sleeplessness. showed a sig- nificant decline in the amount of air they could inhale and exhale. While the decline wasn't sufficient to cause problems to the healthy. it could pose a problem if added to existing breathing diffi- culties for patients with res- piratory disease. Oddly enough a breathing interruption called sleep apnea and lung obstruction during sleep pose certain threats for these patients. so it is common for doctors to instruct nurses to keep wak- ing them, the Virginia re- searchers said. If the re- search results seen in volun- teers hold true for people with breathing disorders, this common hospital practice actually could be dangerous, they said. For more information about your lungs and their care, contact the Huron Perth Lung Association. 653 West Gore St., Stratford. telephone 271-7500. Gun club scores Reports of May I' shoot of Kippen Gun Club are 50 straight -Dan Crerar, 25 Straight -John Anderson, Bert Mahaffey. Jack Mills. Terry Baker, Fred Brall. Mike Sass; 24 -Al Kyle. Jim Butch- er, Bob Caldwell, Harrison Schock, Paul Webb. Jim Rean. John Hessels: 23 -Bon Baker, Glen Mogk. Wayne McBride: 22 -Jack Bell: 21 Uwe Wisch, Lloyd Venner: 20 -Jim Darling.Harold Smith 18 -Bob Stere; 17 -Roy Lam• port. Kai Wisch, Ray Perkins AIRCRAFT SPRAYING by Jim's Flying Service Ltd. on Wheat - Grain - Be • - • r The Toss of 2 bushels of grain by ground equipment, even under dry conditions, pays for otrr service . 11 Thousands of hours of crop spraying experience to Insure the lob Is done right, ask your neighbour, -chances are we have sprayed his crop. 2 U.S. Gallon Poly Sprayer While quantities last Heavy duty poly sprayer with a 2 U.S. (7.5 litre) gallon capacity. Constructed of high-density polyethylene. Features 'Funneltop' design reducing chemical spillage. Metal striking plate stops pre- mature fatigue on the pump cap. Dual purpose pumping and carry- ing handle. Uncomplicated and easy to use, even for the amateur gardener 591-431 Fertilin 10-6-4 with Weed Killers 10 kg. 8.79 Specially formulated turf fertilizer with weed killers. Feeds the lawn algid kills dandelions, chick week, knot weed, etc. In one application. Continuous slow release nitrogen. 20 kg. - $17.29 LARGE SELECTION OF GARDEN SEEDS and PENCILPOD - Wax Beans TENDER GREEN - Green Beans HONEY Et CREAM - Corn Call now to have your fields looked at, as we anticipate another busy season Contact SPRINKLING CANS ON SPECIAL Flowtron® Bug Killer Electronic bug killer — the answer to harmful chemicals and poison- ous sprays. 15 watt black light attracts a wide variety of *flying pests to an electrically charged §elf -cleaning inner killing grid. Black weather resistant finish, pro- tective safety screen. 3500 volt grid. Low energy consumption 540-370 SAVE $20.00 REO. CO-OP CATALOGUE PRICE $94.88 SEAFORTH FARMERS CO-OP Soafortht Ontario . Phew WW1 519-5274608 RON SCHEFTER Wingham, Ont. 357-1257 527-0770