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Home My WebLink AboutThe Huron Expositor, 1989-10-18, Page 5te'r ;'purents. o N longer er rN . trice BY MONA IRWIN "!Imes 'have 'changed, and so have zfosterlparents. `t`it-0used to 'be that we thought 'every (foster) 'child required a middle-class famlly`with.2.5_children,":said ATM 'Miller wryly. MIller as been a foster care coor- sdinator with the Huron County Family and 'Children's -Services for nearly five years. 'FCS is 'holding a .meeting on Thursday, Oct. 26, at their 46 Gloucester Street (Office for people interested in becoming foster :parents. "Now we're ;more flexible. Atypical situations work out better for some children," said :Miller. .Some "atypical situations" include single parents, lower .income families and stepfamilies. "The PCS .deals mainly with children from Mirth to 16 years old, although in unusual .:circumstances they may take .adoleseents-older than 16. "Threetquarters of, our children. are age 12 and :up," Miller said. At any one time they may be caring for an average of about 65 children, although ".the number of children we deal with is much higher, but a .lot of them are in care for only a short time — three or four months," she said, And taking in orphans is the "least common situation" these days, added Miller. "Children come Ori for a variety of reasons. Abuse and neglect are our primary mandates. If they're not safe at home, we put them in care until their home environment is safe." But more than half of the children in FCS care _have been given over voluntari- ly, she said. "The parents may have difficulty with the child's behavior — especially with adolescents — and often there's stress in the family from other areas: money. alcohol abuse, employment. housing. TME -HURON EXROSIToR. OCTOBER 1$, 1.489 - 514 01 to .m Odd I'e c I ass They all combine soli* family just can't cope." In all eases, the goal of the FCS is to •return the child to the family 'home, :but unfortunately that's not .always possi- ble, said Miller. In selecting foster parents, the FCS is looking at a variety of factors, rather than just concentrating on the family's economic standing, she said. Some of these factors include: • child -raising skills; willingness to 'learn and try new ideas; • flexibility ("Can the family incorporate a new member?") • a good sense of 'humor ("That helps a lot," Miller said.) 'patience and tolerance (Parents' expec- tations about themselves and the children — both their own and the foster children — should be realistic, said Miller.) The changes in the FCS criteria 'have developed as a result of locking at the needs of the individual children. Families who are not affluent can now foster children because "if a (foster) child is from a lower socio-economic .background, going into .an upper middle-class house can be very threatening," said Miller. Financial stability, however, is important. "People shouldn't regard fostering as a source of income," Miller said, adding that nor should fostering put undue strain on a family's budget. The lowest rate for foster parents is $14 per day for children up to 12 years of age, and $15.50 for children 13 and over. These rates are currently under review, Miller added. Stepfamilies who have successfully dealt with the stress of blending two families are also good candidates for foster families, she said. "We look at how well (the stepfamily, is functioning; but they've already had to deal with a similar situation: they've put someone who wasn't previously a family member in (the family) and everybody has had to cope," said ',Miller. 'TROUBLED CHILDREN Orientation sessions for 'prospective foster •parents include .some "common behaviors" — such +as Isteabng and Tying — of the children they may be dealing with. "We also emphasize that this child has a family and he or she has parents, and we're not trying to replace them," Miller said. Each foster family gets a "mini crash course" that runs about three months when they're first accepted, said Miller. After that there's ongoing training to meet more specific needs. Last year the FCS set up a program focusing on adolescents. "When children 'hit the teenage years, the problems are compounded," she said. However, while the FCS is seeing more older children and teens, the younger children they're putting in care are far more troubled than they used to be. "Now the eight-, nine- and 10 -year-olds in care are already having serious emo- tional difficulties, much more than before," said Miller. 'She attributes that to the fact that the agency philosophy aims to keep a child in his or her own home whenever possible, so the children who are removed into FCS care are the ones whose home environments are ex- tremely disturbed. "So when (these children) do come in- to care, their problems are already very serious," she said. And at a time when capable foster parents are badly needed for such children, they're very hard to come by. "It's harder to recruit foster parents because lifestyles have changed," said Miller.. "In most families today • both parents are working, and people are also more involved in outside activities." DJseusSCor groups aimed :at dealing with family stress Water (Kell DRILLING WM. 'Hopper and Sens .Ceti. AA ,MODERN VOTARY gRiOS ltileil burl 522-1737 422-0828 Sarre tits Assurattico 'Co19$pa111iyr st ' otevaado LIFE & MORTGAGE INSURANCE 'PLANS DEFERRED ANNUITIES INCOME TP x DEDUCTIBLE ;MS,. RR:P's NON-SMOKERS•RATE AVAILABLE 'Rep, 9RRPIOLO iTINNISEo►7 117 GaBarteh SI Em, S•afo.Yh T•I 527..4910 Select your citizen of Seaforth, in any of these three categories: 1)'SERVICE'TOSPORTS - Aperson that volunteers his/her time to sports a rganizstlons, or sports In ,general In Seaforth. 2) CIVIC SERVICE - •A person that belongs to a service club or clubs in ,which he/she contributes many hours of volunteer time for the better- ment of our community 3) HUMANIT;ARiAN SERVICE - A person who is considerate of mankind, and Is .willing to give his/her time to help others. These awards are chosen based on the individuals contribution to the community In a VOLUNTEER CAPACITY. Deadline for nominations is OCTOBER 20 - 5:00 p.m. Mail name of person you are nominating, some 'background information on that person, and reasons for the nomina- tion to: SEAFORTH RECREATION DEPT. P.O. isox 885, SEAFORTH, DNT. NOK 1 WO 527-0882 BOB B & BETTY'S VARIETY & GIFTS allkink,al SEAFORTF9 527-1680 "YOUR LOTTERY TICKET CENTRE" DEALER A.S.C. OPEN 7 DAYS AA WEEK LARGE SELECTION 8:30 A.M. TILL 9 P.'0.1. HLL0'EE MASK BY MONA IRWIN Although the HCCY is often confused is permanent — and I'm not sure I want A five-week discussion group is being with Family and Children's Services, this."' organized aimed at helping stepfamilies they're two completely separate organize- Sometimes a child may have loyalty overcome what a family therapist calls tions.. Jean said; "We're classed more. as problems. For example, a (divorced) the "Brady Bunch Syndrome." a children's mental health centre, woman who has children meets a new although we work with the whole, family guy and they decide to marry. 'The for .the most part. We've found through children may like moan's new spouse, but experience that that's often the best way feel guilty because they feel disloyal to to go, because family members are often their biological father ("hopefully they the best resources for each other," she still see him regularly," said Jean). said. And part of the problem may be that Some time ago the HCCY set up "In suddenly, the child is no longer the cep - Transit" groups, aimed at children who tre of the parent's attention, were part of "blended" families. The dic- "They parent (the child) has been by - When single parents fall in love, theycurrently group being set up is Ong with won't be as available as they for the everything to go smoothly, because parents, said Jean. were before," Jean .said. "There's so - "they're in love and they're excited and Ironically, the children of divorced peo- neon• new and maybe that person's they want everybody to live happily ever ple maay-get along gree with_ he_ether Discussteen as well' after," Jean said. "That's what we see adult and his or her ,children — while the of groups hlies (hiare a result on TV, on the'sitcoms. But it can set peo- adults are only dating. But once the cou- of "Peopletoea's society,separate, she added. pie up for a lot of disappointment, ple 'marries and the 'other adult and alnedivorce, meet up — because it :usually, doesn't happen -like children move in, freebie 'can start. there's aa reals"ed, h ,.people ...to end- about.the,process".oi~beoomipg.a `;bltoal- "That's where everybody expects that everything will be wonderful," said Anne Catherine Jean, a family therapist with the Huron Centre for Children and Youth, who is, setting up the discussion group The group is scheduled to start in November, and the only charge is for materials: $19 per couple, "if they don't mind sharing a book," Jean said. that. "There's a lot of reasons for that," ed" family, she said. "It's not easy for "There's often a difficult period of ad- Jean said. One is simple reality. anyone. .In our case load we .see a lot of justment when families get together. and "All of a suddent (a child) is hit on the families who've had to struggle with a lot .of them aren't ready for that." head with 'this is really happening, this that." Manor residents take trip to Benin i I I'er Seaforth Manor residents are enjoying the surprise warm days of Indian Summer. Many faces light up when the Grade 5/6 students visit on Tuesday mornings. Visitors this week included Aaron Ford, Tonya Boniface, Darcy Bachert, Vanessa Brown, Brad Hoegy, Bobbi Jo Cluett, Valerie Collins, Bruce Griffin and Jeff Lewington. Marion Rose tickled the ivories as residents sang .along to old tyme favorites. Marion plays some choice selections which residents easily relate .to. Trees were full of beautifully colored leaves when residents ventured up through Benmiller, Goderich and Bayfield on Thursday afternoon. The trip was highlighted by a stop for fresh cider at Kit- chigami. Special thanks to Ruth Nolan and to volunteers Doreen Kelly and Hazel McGonigle, Saturday afternoon residents held the monthly Residents' Council meeting chaired by president, Pat Ryan. Later in the afternoon some ladies cleaned (and nibbled at) fruit and vegetables for the Horn of Plenty. Bingo followed in the even- ing. Our winners were: Eva :McCartney, Doris Smith, Wilma Brill, Frank .Swale, Gladys Ruston, Marg Haase, Keith Her- man, Maria Goovaerts, .Marg ,Smale, Den- nis Arney, Penny Caza and Mamie Ross. Thanks to volunteers, Anne Downey and Marjorie Maloney. Gladys Van Egmond entertained on the piano in the sitting room on Sunday.. She drew quite a crowd! This week's church service included communion and was led by Rev. Sadlier of the Bethel Bible Church. His wife, Ruth accompanied on piano and their two *Capes *Noses •Bow Ties •Witches Hats *Hall 'Masks MAKE-UP *Nair Spray •Body Spray •Creams DISGUISE STICKS Many Colours - Make Your Own Face CANDY TREATS •Chocolate Bars •Suckers •Candy Kisses •Licorice HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS *Balloons, Streamers, Etc. '• Serviettes •Cups *Plates -*Napkins •Cards by Coutts Hallmark NEW STOCK OF PLASTIC MELS •.CARS ,•TRAJ.CKS 'oBOATS '.PLANES COMPLETE LINE .OFMODEL PAINTS & PAINT BRUSHED AVAILABLE ,NOW - 1990 Radio Shack CATALOGUES .1 children visited with residents. You could smell the ladies and gentlemen's baking a mile away as they prepared Applesauce Muffins. 'The muffins were a treat for Manor Staff .as Friday the 13th was Staff Appreciation Day. Residents had hug coupons, Edith Jessome ;offered back scratches, and several of the residents waited on staff to see "how they liked their coffee?" This week's euchre winners included high lady: Marg Smile, high man: Keith Herman, low man: Frank Smale, low lady: Marguerite Shill, and most lone hands: P,at Ryan. Thanks to Marjorie Maloney ,and her sister Margaret Malloy, Mary Nolan, Eva McCartney, Doreen Kel- 1y, Hazel McGonigle and Anne Downey for all their help. Welcome to the Manor Alvin Dodds. pcar,.�.•awg.rwc•.Jwa� awao.r�.a�Laawxre.�os5..r.1•�r,,,y�,�w,yc...svrc�,�ne�r+..�rart•�a,�.Aa ��•ad4a•..rwYc,aAwr+s' Clinon! on 11 1 4 k her yDo 'tI� SI� !i,•' rR.1V1:T. i OFFICE: REGISTERED MASSAGE THERAPIST , 15 A ;RATTENBURY SE EAST1 CLINTON '# office _ Phone for _ - s 1 an :appointment ,4 L w die .Diamond Anniversary Band. This year, tell her you'd marry herall over again A diamond is forever. Res. 233-3220 Klm,has .completed a minimum of 2200.hours of training.and a year & a'balf of educauon,at a.. govermmenlapproved sehool.of,Massage,.and has .been,e)t$� ntiaed,and licepsed,by,thgtBoard of Directors of ,Masseurs under the Drugless.PractitionereAct. gRieSSADEIKERAPY „iSslklrCOMMENDEDWQR: O chronicrslzess/tension .:rtrlease Cl, •reljef rokpain O,sirtiproxed;nitt:ulatian/lywph,drainage Chisel•,rellabtlitatiorgitllpnoved joint mobility 0 ancreasedzbitdy ,awareness 0rgen4ralat'g,jlt gtion ❑ rpt annoy AND 'IS :•EF, TIVE IN'psw > EATNIIl1NT'OF• rf CJ ,lteadafrhe/w graine • D,fetbletic injuries 0 ,neuritis/neurwl„gia beck ,and ,neck ;pain D.sttainslepxains/muscle spasms ❑ ,arthtuitis sciatic 0 •conatipataon• .altiplash ❑ discomforts of i3 : am4AatruatiJn 1 N$TVIT teWELLE:ii LiM.ITTQ ,;jppspiakiats ;singe 1950 04;INTO.N;43Al ierrSt.,. j32r3.901:a ETR; $54 Main St , 235.208 -100 E8101d; .2'T;jie:Awafe,,A24 4485 s.8,EAP,,ORT11; 26 Mein St. S., 527.1720 ST.:uMAR ; 1'0.5^ 6,en,$t. E., 294r1Q,36.4 1Al. 8111AN 003',ptlriaam,)5t.'E,4.Bi'.U1122 Private PjamiDnd-GPoRa4t tions/ milkple • Malabar of ... aC A r' ANY t4 M��AbE,f -SS f