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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1980-11-20, Page 26BY' ALICE OMB Roberta Kloss of Brucefield • has a philosophy that "everyone needs to be needed. ' In the past five years, "Bert" Klass and her family have shown 60 children -that they were needed, children who were temporarily or permanently in the care c)f Family 'and Children's Services,. ' Goderich; „ Mrs. Kloss and her family are one of between 40 and 50' homes around Huron County who take in foster children and make thempart of their family life. Mrs. Kloss said she and husband Dick _ had three children of their own„and —they felt that was all they could support or educate, "we felt we had other things to offer as a family -time, understanding" and some skills like interests in canoeing and crafts. When the family moved to Huron County, they applied to become a foster home. Bert Kloss warns, "Fostering is something that has to be a family project." She said It shouldn't be -tackled if it's only Tifeoffiii who has tfie time, understand- •ing and patience to offer, while the husband and children- aren't willing or don't want to have other children in the home. , • "The whole family has to do it, it can't be one person," she adds. Right now, the Kloss family, one of the county's three Apecialized foster homes, has eight foster children, and two more children to place. The growing family has meant an extra big dining reom table in the Kloss' renovated school house, five bed- rooms, and lots of pitching in to help with rneals and household chores. But the experiment is working - and Mrs. Kloss is pleased when visitors drop in, "you wouldn't know which kids are ours and which are the foster kids." Mrs. Kloss and her husband first talked of becoming foster parents when living in Granton. Their son was sandwiched be- tween two daughters, and they thought it would balance things out if they took another boy into their home. Then Dick Kloss changed jobs and they. moved to Brucefield, but the family decided to go ahead with their fostering project. Since they'd already been approv- ed by the Middlesex Family and Children's Services agency, they were given a baby to care for the day they phoned the Goderich office. YOU PROVIDE A SERVICE "When they (the social workers) use you so quickly, you feel you're providing a service," Bert Klass says. It also made the family feel good and feel confident Olt), could handle the role of fostering. In the first four months. they looked after eight children and their house has been full ever since. Cheryl Hamilton -Miller, the Kloss' fam- ily's foster care worker., said it can take several weeks to two months for her agency to process an application from potential foster parents. First, she said, "we have to look at the person and their reason" for applying to be foster parents. The potential parents don't have to have young children in their home - they might be a childless couple or their children can be grown up and out of the home. "We want people Who• • ale; good, clean living, everyday ordinary people" the foster care Worker says - and not necesSar- ify families who fit Only into the Middle class bracket, They Want ir'varlety of families because they hive a variety of children in foster care and want to match children, with the best available foster home for thier needs, After patentiatfoster parents haye called the ageney, they meet with social workers who can fill them in on the. type of limes tb .e agency is looking for and what parents can expect in dealing with the children who would be coming into their home, --Foster parents -must supply -both medical- and personal references, and if they're still interested, the foster care workers will do a more detailed home study. In the home, study, the social workers look at the parents' personalities, their interests, Whether or not their relationship is stable, how, they treat their own children, how they use spare time and whether or not they're active in the community or more in their own home. ENOUGH ROOM? There's also the more concrete facts to study - does the family have etrough room in their home for extra children. Beef Kloss said from her membership in the Foster Parent's Association, she's discovered "you need as many personalit- ies as there are children." She also discourages anyone considering the pro- gram for purely economic reasons. "You can't depend on fostering as an income, because it isn't," Bert Kloss says bluntly. Family and Children's Services do pay board for the children, buy their clothing, pay school cost and for any medication they might need and provide foster children with a spending allowance geared to their age. EXTRA NEEDS CONSIDERED Also, if a child has extra needs, the agency considers these. For example, two of the boys living with the Kloss family are marathon canoers, so Family and Children Services purchased the needed life pre- servers for racing. But Cheryl Hamilton -Miller points out the agency prefers families who are financially stable as foster parents. While there are a variety of reasons for choosing to become foster parents, Ms. Hamilton-lvfiller points out the agency doesn't have children in foster care who will be lat6r available for adoption. She said people can't become foster parents as a route to later becoming adoptive parents. Ms. Hamilton -Miller comes one after- noon a week, stays for supper with the family and provides any help she can with either the children's or family's problems. Since the family's foster kids and natural kids are treated the same way, Cheryl inspects their report cards and offers help to them as well. Having one worker for all the children in a home is a fairly new policy developed in Huron County. Now agencies in other counties. like Perth, are asking for the model Huron County staff work on to develop a similar program. A GROUP HOME Cheryl isn't exactly new to fostering. Do you have something to offer a child? by Roberta Kloss A child is taken away from his home. The only life he's known. There are problems there, and he needs care, He's frightened and feels all alone. The family is eoming apart. it seems. He will sometimes blame himself. Or maybe, he'll blame society, For the raw deal he was dealt. He might make excuses for Morn and Dad. Or maybe. he'll despise them. But deep inside, there's a burning desire TO be part of his family again. He's seared when he enters his alternative home. Everything is so strange. The farifily is nice, but they're not his, Will he ever adjust to the change? How should he act, should he be quiet and shy. Or should he be tough and bold? Should he accept their frkzidliness, Or should he appear to be cold? It's a scary thing, this being apart. From his friends and family. Will he adjust to this new way qf life? We'll have to wait and see. In this home, there's warmth and love, Maybe something he's never known. There is respect and understanding. Will he cerrie to call this home? The foster family is expecting him. They are just as nervous as he. They wonder if he'll accept their love. It they'll be what he needs them to be. His nFeds are many. he feels insecure. He's down on himself and mankind. He needs love and respect and under. standing. Cause to look ahead. not behind. Will he find it here in our foster home? We hope so with all our hearts. ' We will give him as much as we can. give. Knowing some day. he'll depart. He is only here for a little while. Until the family unit is strong: Until he can return to the ones he loves. The family with whom be belongs. The rewards are many when fostering. How good it feels to share. Giving a child guidance and love. Letting him know you care. Do you have something to offer a child? Can you give him cause to smile? A place where he.can laugh and cry. If only for awhile? Her own mother ran a receiving home, for foster children for many years. Then when she was living in Kitchener, Cheryl ran a group home for teenagers, She was - a single parent M the -teenagers, on 24-hour duty in the home. This background, she feels, gives her a bit more insight into some of the joys and pains foster parents face. • Right now, Family and Children' Ser- vices is looking for three particular kind of foster homes in the county. They peed homes for teenagers, homes for•sisters and brothers who don't want to be separated and homes for special needs children who - maytephysieally-briii-enUllyWaiidied Once a family's name is added to the list of approved foster homes, Family and Childrens' Services try to match children and homes. Foster parents are filled in on the -childrens' backgrounds and g child usually visits the foster home two or three times before moving in oZtrmanently, just to see if it's the right home for him. Bert Kloss points out if foster parents say, "Gee, I don't know if! can handle that Child," that's alright with the agency. They'd rather have foster parents not take a child than take the child and give it up later. Many foster children have already made "too many moves" Cheryl Hamilton -Miller said, and these rejections have left scars that are hard to repair. The Kloss home is one of three specialized foster homes in the county - homes which are more of a family situation, which can handle more children at once and have More time available. Often these foster parents are able to deal with children who may have had behaviour problems', and they're, prepared ahead of time to face problems. If problems do arise at any time, for any foster children, there's a social worker from the agency on call 24 hours a day who will resnond to emergencies. MOTHERS AND KIDS TOO The Kloss family has also taken thret. mothers and children into their home. This, Bert Kloss admits, "is a different kind of fostering." Since the country doesn't have facilities for abused mothers, the agency.placed them with the Brucefield family. Mrs. Kloss said one of the roles she found she played with mothers was providing them with a model of how, to, mother. If there is one thing foster parents must remember. however, "it's that you're not taking their mother's place since you can't replace their natural parents." The Kloss family solves this problem by having their foster children call them Bert and Dick, not Mon and Ditd, Also, foster parents -have to remember the children may only be a part of their family for a shorf time - "the day their' come is the beginning of the day they leave," Bert Kloss points out. But even though the children may stay with the Kloss family only a short time, they keep in touch - by letters, cards, phone and even with return visits. ,The rey_v_ards_inlosteringzertainly-aren't- - financial, but Bert Kloss believes there are rewards none -the -less. Sometimes it's something as simple as seeing a child get a 'V instead of "C" on a report card. Or seeing a shy, unmotivated youngster start to take part in family activities. The Klass family can offer their children a Variety of things to do - from taking swimming lessons at the Vanastra Recreat- ion Centre, to working at woodworking in the basement rec room, to canoeing with Rick Kloss and his father. The girls have learned quiltmaking, knitting and crochet- ing from Bert Kloss. Also, nearby farmers often hire some of the kids to work on their farms during the summer months. In March, the entire family loads up tenting equipment, etc. and takes off for a 10 day holiday in Florida. Bert Kloss said the kids are told they have to pay their share of the way, and they've never had to leave a child behind yet. Right now, Mrs. Kloss and other foster parents are looking forward to the renais- sance of the Foster Parents Association, a support organization where they can discuss problems and talk about solutions. The association will be meeting on Monday evenings, once a month, in Exeter, Clinton and Wingham, so they can get to know each other and get some additional training from social workers in areas there they feel they need help. Bert Kloss hopes there isn't a st ma either about fostering or being a foster child. NORMAL HMS "These ...ue normal kids." she points out, "jestlike yours and mine." As you leave the Kloss home, there's a framed picture of a group of happy looking youngsters. If you don't ask, you Wouldn't know which are Kloss children and which are foster children. That after all, is exactly the way it should bel If you're interested in becoming a foster parent, call Family and Childrens' Services at 524-7356 from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and call 524-6802 after hours. 444aleot4906446 miesweervittiggl From Seaforth Record Shop 35 MAIN ST. SEAFORTH Expiry Date Dec. 6 lj PAT RENATAR 'Crims of Passion" L.P. - $5.99 8 Track - $6.99 NANA•MOUSKOURI "Come With Me L.P. - $5.99 8 Track - $6.99 — --THE MONKS— MAX WEBSTER "Universal Juveniles" LP. - $5.99 8 Track - $6.99 ANNE MURRAY'S NI GREAI EST HIT, ANNE MURRAY Greatest Hits L.P. - $5.99 8 Track - $6.99 / THE MONKS "Bad Habits" KENNY ROGERS "Greatest Hits" L.P4 - $5.99 8 Track - S6-99 8 Track - $6.99. ONVIAntfrVerir.ftWONAVAMAN L.P. :$5.99 • - --.616.616-Alci666116.16 THE HURON EXPQSTORI NQVEM�EI • 1900 3A AN AFTERNOON VISIT—Foster care worker Cheryl Hamilton -Miller, - from- Family- -and Childrene' -Serirde-S—Tri-Giiderich, drops—by to visit Roberta Kloss and the eight foster children living with the Brucefield area family. The Noss family have been a foster family with the agency for five years and have opened their home to more than 60 children In that time, (Photo by Gibb) CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTIONS ' G. E. walkie talkie Pr. 1298 Electronic door chimes $65-00 Gl.l.oyEd. spoTrVto&b,ileZacclaisos e3ttweayrepcoowrderer 9$385919955 AM/FM clock radios from $34." G.E. 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