HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1904-08-11, Page 3TIE W1NGJIAM TIMES, AVICST }1, 1904
Td the Weary Dyspeptic,
We Ask This Questions
Why don't you remove
that weight at the pit
of the Stomach?
`Why don't you regulate that variable
eappettte, and condition the digestive
organs so that it will not be necessary to
starve the stomach to avoid distress after
.sating?
The first step is td, regulate the bowels.
For this purpose
Burdock Blood Bitters
Has No Equal,
It acts promptly and effectually and
permanently cures all derangements of
digestion.
-The Sweet Sorrow of Parting.
(Chicago Tribune.)
el Geed -Melia" he said; the parlor light
Was sort and dim and low
"'Good -night, "ho breathed again ;"Good -
i,
eight. "Good -
eight.
Ir.'s time that I should go."
he rose sad smiled into his eyes,
Then shyly bout her head,
"'Good•uight," ho murmured, lover -
wise ;
And tben, "Good -night," he said.
•`Good-zsight"—Ten minutes later they
Were standing iu the hail,
33ut be was on his homeward way,
"Good-night"—he was to tall
Her head came barely to his heart,
And ehe•was fair and alight.
"'The time has come tar use to part,"
He said, "and so, good -night."
i-",Good•night"--Ahalf an hour had gone
;
Be had his hat and cane,
.And said that he must hurry on,
Then said "Good -night" again,
°"Good -night," "Guod-night," Good-
night," and so
"Good -night" they ever slushed;
°Twos really time tar hnu to go;
"Good-night"—the door swung wide.
"';Good -night," he said, and took her
hand;
Au hour or so went by;
"Good-night"—They could not under-
stand.
'The grayness o2 the sky.
'"Good -night," again, and then "Good-
night";
lipon the steps they stood;
seGood•night"—He kissed her fingers
white,
As every lover should.
a"Good-night"—The eastern sky grew
pink
As though about to blush:
-"Good•nig ht"—The stars began to wink,
The breezes whispered: "Hush!"
'Soon on their ears there clanged a knell
'That smote them with afright—
The ringing of the breakfast bell—
That time he said "Good -night."
SEQUEL T ? vV7'Dii'iE&,.
A4 s nut* They A eNot as Peed Se
the ICarlier steak., .
The question of sequels was under die,
mission in a literary getherteg the oth-
c.: day, and the consensus of opinion
Wile decidedly against thein. It watt
even roundly walutulued that fie se-
quel had ever been a success from the
literary point of view, Some one de-
murred and suggested "Paradise Ria
gained," but that suggetytion, greeted
with a burst of laughter, practically
determined the argument. "Paradise
Regained" was a, distinct fulling off
from "Paradise Lost." It mlgbt even
be declared a dignified, dismal failure.
No; Milton's sequel was no exception
to the rule.
If there be a rule,. are there any ex-
ceptions that prove it? Stevenson'i
"Catriona" was not up to the level of
"ICidnaped." Mr. Anthony hope wrote
a better book In "The Prisoner of Zen -
da" than he did in "Rupert of Heat-
zan." Wise authors never undertake
sequels. Once upon a time Mr. Rider
Haggard was tempted to adventure a
sequel to "She," but repented at dis-
cretion. It is altogether a different
matter when successive boolai include
the same chareeter. Thackeray used
that trick In "Pendennis" and "The
Newcomes," but in no sense is the lat-
ter a sequel to the former: In a way
Thackeray's novels may be said to
constitute a chain right down from
"Esmond." The links subsist, but
there is no continuity of narrative
which defines a sequel proper.
He who will may compare the re-
spective merits of Zola's "L'Assom-
moir" and "Nana." There does not ap-
pear to be gnu+h to choose between
them, but undoubtedly the earlier book
bas been more popular. Zola's habit,
as is well known, was to keep the same
families in his various treatises, for to
him they were specimens of natural
history and mightily portentous. Con-
trast with Zola our immortal Fielding,
who began one of his novels by way of
a parody of Richardson. It would be
interesting to collect into one volume
the stories of the masterpieces. IEa
what circumstances were the great
books of the world written? Think of
Dumas pere and his flr-i of assistants!
Well, Pope preceded him and farmed
out his translation of Homer. That
was a conscienceless thing to do. A.
work of art is not a contractor's Job.
But then Pope's Homer was not a
work of art. But Dumas! Grub street
lies in Paris too.
4BSOIUTE
SECURITY,
Genuine
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
f i ust Bear Signature of
See Fite -Simile Wrapper Below.
Very -mail and as easy
tie take as sugar.
FOR HEADACHE.
FOR DIIIINESt. •
FOR BILIOUSNESS.
FOR TORPID LIVER.
TOR CONSTIPATION.
FOR SALLOW SKIN.
FOR THE COMPLEXION
CARTERS
ITTLE
IVER
PI LLS.
!dust
4VRItWI�!y�YA -O �t,-�-
Ui1O./5 +rii>/pe
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
IT PAYS
TO ADVERTISE
IN TRE
TIMES
A Japanese Shrine.
A romantic custom of tate Japanese'
is described in the "Kokoro" of Lafcadio
Hearn. It is narrated that those who
are anxious for the safety of absent
ones repair to the mountain of Dake-
yama to pe"form a singular rite. There
is a shrine at the summit to commemo-
rate a princess of antiquity who daily
watched hopelessly until she pined and
died, when her body was changed into
stone. One who loots with the eyes
of a believer still sees the princess on
Mount Dakeyama in the shape of a
perpendicular rock. Before her shrine
are heaps of pebbles, and those who
ascend to pray for the safe home com-
ing of one they love take a pebble
awaywith them as a talisman. And
when at last reunited with the beloved,
another pilgrimage is made to the
shrine on Dakeyntna to replace the
pebble, Witha handful ofothers, in
de-
votional gratitude.
Carlyle'ii View of Macaulay.
In one of his letters Carlyle says of
Macaulay, the historian: "We have had
Macaulay for two days. He was a
real acquisition while ho lusted and
gave rise to much good talk, besides an
immense quantity of indifferent, which
he himself executed—a man of truly
wonderful historical memory, which he
has tried in really extensive reading
and has always lying ready, with this
or the other fact, date or anecdote on
demand; in other respects constantly
definable as the sublime of common-
place, not one of whose ideas has the
least tincture of greatness or original-
ity or any kind of superior merit ex-
cept neatness of expression."
Aro jest what every
weak, nervous, run-
down woman needs to
snake her strong and
well.
They cure those feel-
ings of smotheringand
sinking that come on.
at times, make the
heart beat strong and
regular, give
sweet, refresh-
ing Bleep and
banish head-
aches and ner-
vousness. They
infuse new lila
and energy into
dispirited,health-
I shattered women
who have come
to think there is
no cure for them.
They cure Nervousness, Sleeplessness,
Nervous Prostration, Brain Fag, Faint
and Dizzy Spells, Listlessness, After
Effects of La Grippe and Fever, Anaemia,
General Debility and all troubles arising
from a run-down system.
Price 50o. per box or 5 for $1.25
all druggists or trailed by
THE T. ItIIL13URN CO.. LIMITED.
Toronto, Oat.
Reflections of a Bachelor.
Every generous woman is always will-
ing to grant a man a small allovrauce
out of his own earnings.
Give a woman fine feathers to wear in
this world and she'll trust to luck for the
wings to wear in the next.
It's absolute proof to a woman that
she is a gond mother to her children
when their uncles and aunts tell ber she
is spoiling thein.
It takes a pretty hot be to blister a
woman's tongue if she is bragging about
the smart tbings ber children say.
It's gutter how much more afraid a
woman is that her dres;i !nay trail in the
dust when she has on low shoes and gay
stoultings than when she basun regula•
tion boots,—Naw York Frees.
A Mean Insinuation.
Sir Henry Thompson, who was equal-,
ly famous as an author, an artist and a
surgeon, was once staying at a country
house with another surgeon of great
fame, and somehow the talk turned on
the number of letters that each re-
ceived, When the post arrived only
one or two letters came for Sir Elen-
ry, while his friend received an im-
posing batch. The friend proudly call-
ed attention to his mail. "Yes," said
Sir Henry, with a twinkle in his eye,
"but I see yours are ail iu black edged
envelopes."
Beyond Doubt.
"Do you believe that two can sive a8
Cheaply as one'?" he asked, for the reit-
Son that he undoubtedly wished to
know.
"Yes," replied the fellow who draws
more fool questions than his share. "I
believe that most any two men could
live on what my wife spends."
1Hi. Choice.
"I shan't put up with your conduct
any longer. I intend to go home to
Mother."
"Well, anything is preferable to hay-
ing her here."
It Walk oft the Table.
atistresb—Jane, where ib the .salad
ell I told you to put on the table? Jane
—Please, 'm, I did put it en the tabls
when I polished it up this morning.--
Poach.
I wbuld much rather that posterity
!should inquire why no statues wars
+erected to tree than way .alley Wire.-+'
*. }..:..M 0,1
Sentence Sermons.
(Chicago Tribune.)
Hxrrnctiun is not giving.
Greatness comes only by growth.
Making money unmakes many men.
Gloom is never dispersed by growling.
Good cheer goes further than cold
cash.
He cannot teach who will not be
ta'Tght.
Life's great opportunities are never
labeled.
There is no profit in prayer for profit
alone.
Facing both ways is always fleeing
one way,
Religion is never streugthened by re
laxation.
There is nothing Satan bates like
happiness.
Long distance- charity never reach( s
the heart.
The man who is indispensable never
knows it.
A white lie may be as hard to wipe
out as a black one.
One lesson of life is learning to love
where we do not like.
Love is too busy encouraging to have
any time to criticise.
The gospel of success is simply the
worship of the god of self.
The color of the world depends on the
pigment behind the eyes.
It's no use trying to shine if you won't
take trate to fill your lamp.
CRAMPS,
Pain in the
Stomach,
Diarrhoea.
Dysentery,
Colic,
Cholera
Morbus,
Cholera .lpfantum, Seasickness,
and all kinds of Summer Com-
plaint are quickly cured by
taking
Dr. Fowler's
Extract of
•r
WON HIM A PORTUNE. 11311ITIsiiGIRE.LT SEAL HINTS FOR THE HOUSEHOLD -
Mown ciente Oat iporana► to Advertise
hie A11 Over the, Country. STRANGE APVENTURES OF THIS EM -
When Fenny Lind, the great SWedfsh BEM OF SOVEREIGNTY.
singer, xisited America in 190 she not
only won a fortune for herself, but floor /WO or three times until the right
made two men wealthy as well. Ono ; !Fished I''rota tLrt Settees or the Raver shade is produced. Afterwards, when
of them was Theme', Deriea In r Gerdettr Used
dry' polish
It was Barnum,
who showman.
sty I ad Si Frying l'au stud Brokewell with beeswax and tur
America. Ile ventured all that he '
Piece"' an the Ilania of Lordt.,
could raise in advertlsing the wonder- It seems almost ludicrously Impos-
ful woman, end iris successful manage- sable that the great seal of England
went of her tour in this country lifted should have ever been trade to serve
Barnum to grand business success. i the humble purpose of a frying pan; spoonful of baking powder, unix well to -
But there was another man who got and yet this is only one of many equal- gether. Break two eggs into the airy
ly strange episodes In the romantic ingredieuts and beat for five minutes.
story of the seal which is tiro "specific pour into a will buttered Yorkshire
emblem of British sovereignty:' pudding tin, Bake for three minutes ire
Lord Chancellor Eldon was ao fearful
a very hot oven. Turn on a sheet of
that the seal would be lost or stolen
while in his custody that he never sugared paper, Spread with jam and
wont to sleep without first satisfying roll quickly.
himself that it 'vas safe in Iris bedroom. Curried Sausage --Fry some saneago
One night—it was in the year 1812 --he tin quite cooked Then pour a little
was roused from his slumbers by cries water iuto the frying pan, dredge in some
of "Fire!" Jumping out or bed he ourry Powder and sufficient flour to
snatched up the great senl and, rush- thicken the whole. Simmer for ten
ing into the garden, burled it deep in
the middle of a flower bed. His house minutes. Add a squeeze of lemon juice
might be burned to the grouud, but at and stir till the sauce is done. Add the
:least be would not prove unworthy of sausages, stand at the aide of the are
the great trust which had been reposed while they beat through again. Serve
in him. with a border of boiled rice.
Neat' morning, however—so exciting
Potato Balls—This is a very nice way
bad been the experiences of the night—
he had completely forgotten in what of cooking oldpotatoes when they are
part of the garden the emblem of soy- getting rather out of condition. Take
ereignty had been hidden, and it was the boiled potatoes and mash with a little
only after his entire household had mak. Dredge in some flour, season with
hunted for hours that it was at last pepper, salt and chopped parsley. Take
run to earth, "You never saw anything care that the mixtures is not too moist.
so ridiculous," he wrote later, "as see- Add suliicieut chopped parsley to finver;
ing the whole family down the walks
dibbling with bits of stinks until we make into balls. Brush over with milk,
found it" put ou a greased tin and brown before'
Once at least the great sent has been
Tomato Jam—The green fruit is best
Wipe each with a cloth and remove the
stem. Put into a preserving pan, allow-
ing half a pound of white sugar for every
pound of fruit; add a little water for;
syrup. Slice one lemon for each 2
pounds of fruit and add. Boil until
thoroughly done and the syrup is thick.
Do not put mush water in at first, for
it can be added easily. This is au ex.
nelient preserve and tastes a little liken
figs.
To Stara Floors—Take two parts of
permanganate potash and 80 parte of
water. Mix well, faint .this on the
pentine, milted to the oouelsteaoy of
thick cream.
Swiss Roll—One armful of caster sugar
one teacupful of due flour, and a tea•
rich without having anything to do
with the management of the Jenny
Lind concert tour. It was Genin, the
New York hatter. His name and busi-
ness were advertised by Barnum wher-
ever the Jenny Lind concerts were ad-
vertised, and It dian't cost Genin one
penny for all of the advertising that
Barnum did for blur.
There was no ball in New York big
enough to accommodate the crowds
which attended the first Concert in this
country, so Castle Garden was fitted
up for the purpose, and the seats were
sold at auction. Now, Genin was an
unknown hatter, although be was a
good one. He went to the auction sale
of seats at Castle Garden and outbid
everybody. Ho ran up the price of the
first ticket until some of his friends
thought he was going crazy and tried
to induce him to desist. But Genin
was not crazy by any means. He kept
on bidding until he finally got the aria
ticket for $750. Ho had outbid the rich-
est men in New York.
The uext day and every day after-
ward for many months it was an-
nounced that "Genin, the New York
hatter, had paid i1750 for the first Jen-
ny Lind ticket."
And wherever Barnum advertised his at the bottom of the Thames and
concert he advertised that fact to show ' would be there today but for a lucky
what a great attraction he was touring • accident. It was in 1tS8, when the
with, As a consequence Genin's hats second James was fleeing from Eng -
were in demand all over this country, land and the Prince of Orange to
and he became enormously rich. Fr;ince, in company with Sir Edward
Males. He lutd intended to take the
great seal with him, but as he was
being rowed from Lambeth to Vaux-
hall, where horses were awaiting him,
another and better idea occurred to
him. Ile would thing the seal into the
river, and that would place it once for
all out of reach of his enemy. So over-
board the seal went, and for some
weeks it lay there until by a curious
chance it was picked up in a fisher-
man's net and restored to the proper
custodians.
The ludicrous frying pan adventure
befell it when in the custody of Lord
Brougham. The chancellor had gone
to Scotland for a short holiday—seeing
that he could not take the seal on the
Rhine trip he longed for without put-
ting it in commission at great cost to
himself—and he was a guest of the
dowager Duchess of Bedford at Rotbie-
murehus, where he kept his precious
sessions together in France—and en- charge In his bedroom. One day the
tithed village notaries! i young ladies of the house party took
No sooner was serfdom abolished ! the seal from the bedroom and his it.
an the peasants followed bourgeons ' Brougham was desperate when he dis-
COURTSHIP IN FRANCE.
Lovemaking Begins After the Wedgy
ding Bells Have Rung.
The word "courtship" has no equiva-
lent in the French tongue, because the
thing itself does not exist. Stolen
tete-u-tetes, even furtive kisses, may,
of course, be indulged in; but only un-
der a modified chaperonage, the half
shut eye of parents or guardians. No
young French lady would be permitted,
for instance, to undertake a cycling ex-
pedition with her future husband. Still
less could she take train with him for
the purpose of visiting relations in the
country were the journey of half an
hour's duration only. Lovemaking be-
gins with the honeymoon.
For centuries, alike in the humblest
as well as the highest ranks, matrimo-
nial settlements bave kept family pos-
the fire in a sharp oven.
Rhubarb and Orange Marmalade—To
every pound of cut rhubarb allow three
or four Seville orauges and apouud and a
half of sugar. Peel the oranges thinly
and cut in thin strips for marmalade,
Take oft' the white pith, which will not
be needed. Remove the pips from the
fruit and cut it in slices. Place the
orauges, rhubarb and sugar in the pre-
serviug pan, and boil gently till twill,
ciently cooked, and the scum has ceased
to rise. Set to preserve in small pots and
cover while hot with white paper brushed
over with white of egg.
A woman not far from here made
s true test IEEr at d betthd it before it
example, dowering their daughters and i covered his loss and did not recover i bad fermented. A few nights Iater there
securing the interest of their sons by his peace of mind until the pretty
was a popping noise in the cellar. Her
o
promised to lead him to it if be
law. In proviucinl archives exist many thieveshusband, believing there were burglars
of these documents, the rustic bride's I would consent to be blindfolded. in the house, stealthily approached nroached the
portion consisting of furniture, clothes, With his eyes bandaged he was con -
money and sometimes cattle or a bit 1 ducted to the drawing room, and there cellar door. Just as he peeped in there
of ]nod. The archives of the Aube he discovered the seal bidden in a tea was another report, and he was hit.
contain the marriage contract of a i chest, So overjoyed was he at its re He then poked the muzzle of a
skilled day laborer (manouvrier) and a covery that he consented to the young Fix shooter into the crack and turning
widow whose property was double that 'lianas' suggestion that they should ad-
of
gun from side to side, fired a fusilacle
the
t and celebrate
h kite.! en,
I'll the e to
jointhis own. The deed secured him i u of bullets into the darkness. Ho was
joint enjaymeut and ownership. I can joyous event by making pancakes in then out of ammunition, but the enemy
not here, of course, enter into the in- , the seal, and thus, amid much laughter,
tricacies of the French marriage laws. the greatest emblem of sovereignty in kept fit ing. and he retreated upstairs,
There is the regime dotal, which safe- i the whole world was actually used as a where his wife was screaming for help.
guards the dowry of the wife. There is 1 Pan in which to fry pancakes. The The neighbors arrived and found the
the regime de la Communaute, which seal, It should perhaps be mentioned, man soaked in root beer.
consists of two silver disks hinged to-
es far as income and earnings are con- gether, so that when they are closed
cerned. And there are minute regula- they form a mold, into which the wax,
tions as to the provision for children green, red or yellow, as the case may
and widows. The latter are always be, Is poured. Thus it would make not
sacrificed to the former.--Cornhill. at all a bad substitute for the common
or kitchen frying pan.
One of Them For the Company. :Ninny a time has the great seal been
A well known comedian celebrated taken to the house of lords and broken
for his eccentricities boarded a street to pieces at the bar by the hammer of
car the other day and duly paid his a sturdy blacksmith, amid the frantic
This
makes wedlock strictly a partnership
fare upon demand. After riding a block cheering oP ouloolrtug members
or so farther he produced another nick- was the fate of the seal which fell into
the hands of the parliamentary army
el and tthe sumo to the pass- on the capitulation of Oxford in 11146.
The honest conductor refused the
ing conductor.
ctor. Three years later the old parliamentary
Th
proffered coin, while the actor vehe- seal, which represented Charles en-
mentiy protested his desire to pay his throned on one side and riding on horse-
back on the other, was siuilariy de-
stroyed to make way for the new seal
with its view of the house of commons
in place of the deposed sovereign.
Richard Cromwell's seal was broken
by the hammer in 1059, and in the fol-
lowing year the great seal of the com-
monwealth itself was destroyed in tate
same way.
Once the seal was lost, by Charles II.
Your Dear Old 1ltother. in his flight from the fatal field of Wor-
cester, and once it was stolen by bur-
armstarouu dnyouhr dear old ntother,you ever put ywho otir
glars from Lord Thurlow's house in
lies loved and cared for you, and tell Gteat Ortnoavd street, but it was re-
lies
her that you Love her and are grateful
short
a replica in the wonderfully
for the tears she ling shed and the short time of thirty-six hours. The
prayers she has offered for you? She seal that was in use when George IV.
may think that you love her without ' died was divided between Lord Lyn
your assuring her that you do, but Rhorst and Lord Brougham, King Wil -
costs you but little effort to tell tier, Ilam IV, presenting one side to each
and your words Wray bring more joy chancellor, mounted in a magnificent
salver, and a similar present was made
sunsy
fare.
"You have given me your fare al-
ready," argued the man in uniform.
"I know," responded the comedian,
"but this is for the company."
Every one iaughed excepting the dis-
coniflted conductor, who had omitted
to register the dreamed ot.—I xchange, first collection.
ever drea
and neo to her heart than you Inlateryears to Lords Chelmsford and
s
It has been used by thousands for
nearly sixty years—and we have yet
to hear a complaint about its action.
A few doses have often cured when
all other remedies have failed. Its
action is Pleasant, Rapid, Reliable
and Effectual.
Dr, Fowler's Extract of Wild
Strawberry 18 the original Rowel
Complaint Cure.
*cruse Scestttntes. therm Dangerous.
Campbell and to Lords Selbo
A Wondertul Memory. Cairns. Of the handsome satchels or
Miss Antique—I remember, when I purses in which the seal is supposed to
was a little tot, I could play several ' be kept—exquisite specimens of art
pieces on the pilus by ear. Miss Snap- . needlework in white and gold—so many
of Lord Thurlow as per-
me and
pey—flow very remerknble! Miss An- f rtisttc•s that his good lady was able to
tique—That I could play by ear? Miss q
Snappey--No, dear. That yotl can re- snake several sumptuous counterpanes
meiuber it. and bed hangings from them.
Shifting the Oozed ittentite.
"Beg pardon. I thought you were
Monne one else."
"OIs. no; I'm nil right, It is you who
are some one else."
1oreed to it.
Bobo --I thought you Were going to
Olt all your bad habits? Dont—I aid,
but nobody recognized me, and I had to
begin again eo people Would know me,
Nothing can bring yon peace but the Eremite what lb said, not him who
triumph of principles,. --T merson........ Leaks ...... .- - . __ ,._......t ..-
A medical authority has recently ut-
terred a warning against the habit of
sitting with one knee crossed over the
other—a pose, whicb is nowadays almost
at common among women as among
men. This apparently harmless habit, it
seems, is likely to cause sciatica lame-
ness, chronic numbness, ascending par-
alysis, cramps, varicose veins, and other
evils. The reason is simple.' The back
of the knee it is explained, as well as the
front of the elbow and wrist, the groin
and the armpit, contains nerves and
blood.vessels which are less adequately
protected than in other parts of the body
the space behind the knee contains two
large nerves, a large artery and numer-
ous veins and lymphatic glands. It is
the pressure of these nerves and vessels
which is apt to give rise to the various
troubles against which we are heir to. —
Harper's Weekly.
JINGLES AND JOE$
• te •
1tt.ror r Lttortrt
A sonnet publiubad
Oft her eyes
Seemed to *Wake
A mild .urpries.
A rondel written
Cin her throat
Caused doubt of what
It might denote.
A kiss he printed,
On her lipti
lei(1 011 with Py
Beyond eclipse!'
,lase e.
Not.Changeable.
"Isn't this climate changeable?"
sd the newcomer.
"No," answered the old inhabitant
rather brusquely. "It ain't changer
able. If it was, don't you s'pose we'll,
have traded it oft for sotnethin' -else
long ago?"
tulips
Takinsc a Chance,
He—I am quarrying her for ber molt
ey,
She—But money does not always lea/
to happiness.
"No, but I thought It might ladle•
tate the search."
hammock sfartno•ty,
Last year's hammock is ragged and .111*.
It won't carry her, and much ices him.
dhe'a made up her mind there's nothing tit
• do
But get another hammock strong enouga
for two.
Well, Well, Well!
Stalket—Headley says my imperson-
ation of Caesar last nigbt was abso,
lutely real.
Manning—Guess that's so. Every-
body I've met says it certainly was not
acting. '
Attracted by Music.
Patience—Has she an attractive
voice?
Patrice—She must bave. She said
while she was singing a bug flew dowel
her throat.
Delicately Expressed. .
run many a person that's doing his Beal
To keep up with the hurrying mob
Declares that he's taking a much needed
rest
When he's really out of a job.
-
Well Paid. '
"Does Sue Brett really get as big M
salary as she says she does?"
"Better than that. She gets almost
as big a salary as her press agent say9
she does."
1
Ever .Since.
Ella—I suppose you and George levee
been thrown together a good deal late-''.
Iy?
Bella—Yes; ever since he got his new --• '1
automobile. 1
Kidney
Disorder
Are no
respecter
of
persons.
People in every walk of life are troubled.
Have you a Backache? If you have it
is the first sign that the kidneys are not
wdrking properly.
Ad
ncglectcd Backache leads to serious 1
kidney 'trouble.
Check it in titre by taking
DOAN'S KIDNEY PILLS
"THE GMAT KIDNEY SPECIFIC."
They Cure all kinds of Kidney Troubles
front Backache t6 Bright's Disease.
50c. a box of'5 for $1,25
411 daatars or
Tilos DOAN KIDNEY PILL GO..
Toronto. Ont,
The Critic.
De trlflin' man he come this way
An' watch me n'orkin' all de day.
T works alt day de hes' you can,
But I nebber suits de triflin' man.
Getting It Down Fine.
If there wnrn't so many fool girls
there wouldn't be so many fool women,
an' if there wuzn't so many fool fa-
thers there wouldn't be so many fool
girls.
A B..;roio Remedy.
"I wrote a little' war poem, and my,
wife burned it."
.
"•
1Fhatwasthetroub1e with it7
"She said it wasn't fiery enough."
Said the Tree.
"It's lust as true." the tree said,
"As the gospel of s: !ration
That though I leave once a year
I never get vacation."
Another Brute.
Wife—Ever so many women are be-
coming artists.
Husband—Yes; it is a business in
which they can talk while they work.
A New 'Word.
Mrs, 11feCnll—You haven't got that
pompons butler any more.
Mrs, Nuritch—No, we dlseharged him,
He didn't—er—buttle to suit us.
One Woman's wish.
When we leave this world's distresses
Bound for lands beyond the skies,
How I hope there'll be no dresses
Fastened up with hooks and eyes. t
Quite the Reverse.
Stayer—I am very impulsive. I nev-
er know when to stop.
Miss Weary—Oh, yes, you dol The
trouble is you don't know when to go.
—Judge.
The Publie Nuisance.
He gayly steps Upon your feet
Or sits upon your hat,
Then says, "1 beg your pardon,'!
And lets it go at that.
W Victim.
She—When I set my face against
moiling I mean it.
!Ie --Would you—or—mind setting
your face against aline?
Roser and Thorns,
As every rose must have its thorn,
So every barrel has a b,tng.
As sorrow with etch Toy is born,
So every woman has a teiteee.
A Sj,rlug Con tension.
Belle—You were always fond of flow'.
els, were yon trot?
Ilob--•Why, yes, exeept during a :tort
interval in which I studied bota:ty.
Veriitrd.
Ise often sand site wes a n/s•tch-•.
And after they heal Wirral
tie still instated rhe was ono.
Per ase was atony heerteent.