HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1904-08-04, Page 3tBWDOci
_.,_LOO
D
fBmrER
IS a purely vegetable System
Renovator, .Bloodrife
�'u er and
Tonic,
medicine that acts directly At
tthe same time on the Stomach,
Liver, Rowels and Blood,
It cures Dyspepsia, Biliousness,
lCont"stipation, Pimples, Boils, Dead -
ache, Salt Rheum, Running Sores,
indigestion, Erysipelas, Cancer,
;Shingles, Ringworm or any disease
arising from an impoverished or
impure condition of the blood.
Far Gats by all DolOBIsts.
The Shopper's Progress.
I.W. D. Nesbit, in Ci>.iertgo Tribune:I
She vowed she would economize;
She said: "•T think it's finny
tl A woman hardly ever tries
To nave her busbaud's money."
So she thiougliout that bargain day
Among the shoppers fought.
eked said when she bad Fume away:
This Phtais ell T bought --
This lovely little color
That cost just halt a dollar."
!brut day it ebanceii she Paw a wane
Dropstitcheti, and Tray pretty;
••jkrarked-down"' cant upon it placed
NRadb her sigh; °" Whist u pity 1
`Though I've decidee not to spend
More money, I declare
$'il take lee See how it will blend
Thu culots when I wear
Teat luvely little collar
Which cost a half a dollar."
..rind then a skirt was brought to view -
It matched the vete •; she thought it
Was empty dear, and lovely, too;
The upshot was,, she bought it
Soule gloves of quite the proper shade
She goo, and after that
A. special trip or two she made
Before she found a, het
To match the lovely collar
That cost abate a dollar,
Of course her costume would not be
Complete(it would look shoilds )
Without new shoes. Why, you'll agree
'With that; and anybody
Who knr,ws the rules of fashion knows
eTo other feature will
Set off the costume like the hose-
* e e . . . *
Ton ought to see the bill
For that dear little collar
Which cost ahulf a dollar!
ABSOLUTE
SECURITY,
Cenuene
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
Must Bear Signature of
See Fac-Sitono Wrapper Below.
Tam small and as easy
So take as sugar.
omornalMMIIP
CARTERS R: R u NE$L
mix FOR RILIOIISNES$.
IVER FOR TORPID LIVER.
PILLS. FOR CONSTIPATION.
FOR SALLOW S!Wt.
FOR TNECOMPLEXIOII
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
IT PAYS
TO ADVERTISE
IN TIIE
TIMES •
glee Mentielerfeineeht Zatteekex►,
Talking about the British acistoera-
Ai* a woman wile 11a Met It on its na-
tive heath tells me that the feminine
section of it never stirs out without a
1Ateltkey. We curry latchkeys. over
here, but we don't do it lu the British
way, The Atnerlcuu• wonian ties ber
key lu the corner of ler hundlceri 1e1
orl
bides it muter nsto
or put
It ii,
to .
iter purse afoul, with cold Cream vee-
ipes end ear tickets and tummies. The
Luf;lisitwozutth parades hers. The wo-.
tuutt who knows her telis the that she
has seen latehkeys set with precious
titmice and fastened to long cituine.
She has seen them gilded tin 1. strtuag
from belts; she bus seen theist with
pins on the back of thein, morn us,
brooches. She telie the that the Eng.
lisliwannui would no sooner leave her•
latehkey at home than ber husband
would his bath. The thing is possibly
new to the irngllshwoman and, being
new, Is paraded. With us over here
it Is an old story. Possessing tee re-
ality, the symbol is of small nloniedt
to us. We are content to leave the
latchkey under the nat.-
. Philosopher e. a Fisherman.
Herbert Spencer once won a curious
wager. He was staying for a fiehing
holiday In the house of Sir Francis
Powell, the prestOont •of the Scottish
academy, and while angling fora trout
be happened to drop his eyeglasses into
a deep pool of the river. In the even-
ing he related els misadventure to his
boat and the guests, and said that he
was prepared to bet that he would re-
cover the pince-nez from the bottom of
the pool. His friends declared that
impossible a r
ttriswusalt i P sst e fe t, but Her -
bort Spencer still offered to make the
bet, Ells 'challenge was accepted be
one of the visitors. Upon the following
evening Spencer returned to the house
with the missing eyeglasses. Ile bald
fastened a strong magnet on the end
of his fishing line and fished for the
glasses until it came into contact with
their steel rims.
Floating Targets of the Sea, ,
Even the French and L'ritish war-
ships that patrol the Newfoundland
coast during the fishery season do not
escape the danger of icebergs, crowded
with men and carefully navigated
though the vessels are. The ice masses
serve a novel purpose for the fleets all
the summer through. being used as
targets for big gun practice, When a
specially formidable one drifts along
past St, John's a cruiser slips her moor-
ings and runs to sea after it, pelting it
with projectiles until she fires away
her allowance. It is one of the sights
of St. John's, the endless procession
of icebergs of every size and shape
that drift by day after day, charm-
ing the eye and cooling the summer
atmosphere Sometimes they ground
in the harbor mouth and prevent ships
entering or leaving. -P. T. McGrath in
McClure's.
Palestine.
When one thinks of the great events
that have taken place in the Holy Land,
the multitude of cities, villages and
V '
towns, the countless millions ti h0
hap)
been born there and whose bones now
lie in its rock ribbed bilis, the small
dimensions of Palestine are almost
startling. West of the Jordan, where
most of the historic events took place,
there are only 3,800 square miles, in-
cluding ail the geographical divisions
now called Palestine. Including the
land both east and west of the Jordan,
the total area is 9,840 square miles.
The Length of Palestine from north to
south is about 150 miles. It varies in
breadth from twenty-three to eighty
miles.
Wanted None of 1lib Asst.
At a dinner in London, Theodore
Watts -Bunton said: "It isn't generaI-
ly known that Turner, the painter, and
Dr. Augustus Pritchard once lived to-
gether for a year in Cheyne row. The
painter and tate physician had a fine
garden, and they took a good deal of
pride in their floevers. But the garden
gate did not work well, and one day
Turner, because it wouldn't open, pet•
testily gave orders that it be nailed up,
It was thought that this odd act would
enrage Augustus Pritchard, but, On be-
im; told of it, nil be saki was, 'Oh, well,
1 don't care what Turner does to the
gate, so long as he doesn't paint it'"
Colds.
Every one knows when he contracts
a cold an the chest. Not so with cold
in the kidneys and bowels. The kid-
neys, however, are the weak point in
many men and women nowadays, and
they may be well protected by °wearing
a Coll of white flannel, which should be
about a foot wide and go twice around
the waist for Winter and once toe sump
mer. Try it, reader, If son have any
tendency to bladder or kidtrey trouble.-
Exehange.
A Mena Bank.
'"Madam, you've already overdrawn
your account."
"Whit's that?"
"You haven't any more motley in the
Wink,"
"The idea: A fine bank, I think, to
be out of money because of the little
I've drawn! Well, I11 go somewvhete
else."
A 1Philokopherr.
itiVera--What do you do when you
wake np in the night `With jumping
toothache? Ilroeks-I try to be thank-,
fat It ferr't galloping eonsumptlon.
Trying to Forge* it,
lifting -Hello, old ]rant What do
you think of that elgitr t gate yon last
night? Bifklnb- Don"t tisk hie be think.
tett trying 10 forget it,
Let tioee rrho Ohne** ofbatingt�
ter
Work Undertake to do nothing, If tsiw
kill ndt o
b'iithere nettling 4rl1
k
nig l 'ING HA M IMES, OUST 4, 1904
A e*n saW.. j t
SERVANTS RUSSIA,.
mg a good deal
lately end feel
in oCeasional
win f pain
toundy ou,rhert?
Ars you short of
breath, nerves
ces
unhinged, $ n
a.
i
tan of
i s
pin and needtes
going through your
;anis and. fingers?
Better take a box or two!
of Milburn's Hart and
Nerve Pills and get cured
before things become toe
serioui,
AS a specific for ad
heart and verse
troublestheycan-
not be excelled, A
true heart tonic, blood
enricher and nerve re-
newer, they cure nervousness, aleepless.
ness, nervous prostration, smoker's beam,
palpitation of the heart, after effects of la
grippe, etc.
Price inc. per box or 3 boxes for $1,as
st all druggists, or will be sent on receipt
of price by
The T. Milburn Co,,
Toronto, Ont.
THE WHiTE HOUSE.
Prresident IIiidisou's Part fa Thur
Naming the Exeegttye Mansion.
Just how the White ,!louse came to
be so designated is a questloe on which
historians differ. A local historian in
Washington thinks that the burden of
proof tends to give credit tor the name
to President Madison,
out Mud sora,
The structure was made of Potomac
river free,stoue, and the capitol proper
was built of the same stone, At the
tune the British burned the executive
mansion they did a lot of other dam-
age, and the country was pressed for
money to repair the same. The walls
of the mansion were only slightly dam-
aged, other than being blackened by
(smoke. Money was scarce, and con-
gress made an appropriation to have
the outside of the house painted. White
was selected as the best color, Madison
in it letter to a personal friend wrote:
"Come In and see me at any time. You
will always find me in at the White
Ilouse."
The executive mansion may breve
been called the White House before
that time, but this Investigator says
that he bus never been able to find any
record of it. If Madison did not oft -
date at the christening It has been
emphatically stated by the historian
that be took a prominent part In pub -
hailing the fact that the White House
was to be the name of the mansion.
Up to the time of President Madison
the executive mansion, which is the
legal name for it, was generally spo-
ken of as the president's house, but
since then it has been known by its
permanent name of White House.
Nothing but Praise.
"Mr. Itichley had nothing but praise
for your work for him before the citi-
zens' committee," said the friend.
"Yes," replied the Lobb ist gloomily,
$ g Y,
"nothing but, praise."
Perfection.
Husband-H'm--er-what's the mat-
ter with this cake? Wife -There can't
be anything the matter. The cookery
book says it is the most delicious cake
that can be made.
The Truth.
"Mr. Hardup must have used a great
deal of flattery to win the heiress."
"No; he simply told her the truth."
"Indeed?"
"Yes; he said be couldn't live with-
out her."
settefal.
Miss Oldgiel-1 don't like the color of
my hair. Miss Youngthing-Don't let
that bother you, fay dear. It can't be
long now before It turns gray.
DIARRHOEA, DYSENTERY,
COLIC, CRAMPS,
PAIN IN THE STOMACH,
AND ALL
SOMMER COMPLAINTS.
ITf 11001#oTs A*I $ARV*LLDU S.
!t ASTI LINE A *HARM.
N*Lit*V ALMOST INITAN rANEOUN.
?leash, Rapid, Reliable, Iffeatual,
EVkhtf Hatter exlcith.b HiAVa IT.
Milt lieu* ►Iiuk0tkt 0.0 It. altar No *Tata
01141, w 35th
Tit, 2.0{tt illxeitttleM"'iihe,a *e Witness..
es Against Their Employers.
Tile liusslau servant is billet for one
year ate" ie told exactly what lite par
tiettlar duty is to be. Ito then sticks.
to that one duty. As long as oath ser
ant fa41fu11y perroruzs the special
duties o is o t t is
f h p t#i loft al well, but
the neglectful butter or hook or coach,
man is sent by the employer with: a
written note to the pollee judge, whe
after earefully investigatiug the corn.
plaints lige u right to order bodily Mien-
islzntent or to write a bad murk in the,
i book kept for this purpose.
In great Russell) households oftea
}frow twenty to ffty se
rva
nts are ke
pt
,
end e�en the middle class futiii es
I have two 10 four. The pay of these
servauts varies accordiug to the line
of work. While the "chiefs" in the
kitchens of wealthy families often re-
eeive 4300 a year, a eook in an Ordinary
citizen's ernpfey gets no more than 412
a year, and a rnuid of all work never
sets more than 45 a year. At Easter
every servant gets a present, iteueraily
a suit or dress.
Every other Sunday the servants la
a ',Weston household are ent!>reiy free.
Their work stops Saturday night after
supper, when the servants Ieave the
house not to return until the next Mon-
day morning. Tile employers never
ask where or Low the free time 1
spent.
Russian servants will pilfer, Since
Russian ladies leave everything to the
care of the servants the latter do as
they please.
The menservants smoke cigars be -
1 louging to their mestere and pay fre-
u n wine e t visits y it to the o zv ne Cebars of the
house, but a gentleman wouldconsider
' it "demeaning" himself to prosecute a
servant for this.
IThe Russian servants will talk about
i fellow servants, but never about their
employers. Eveu when they iuit one
place and take service in another
: family they would never mention any-
' thing, about their former masters.
: This discretion goes so far that even
the law considers It. In Russia the law
excludes servants as witnesses against
their former or present employers
so long, at least, as these servants are
not suspected of baying taken part in
the crime.-Londou Mall.
SHORT TALKS.
Pewee ,
9
#if# ua-t � Other.e
!.
A good story ak4ut Browl!
ng end:
i '1'ennYteau is to be found in the diary.
3 of the Right Han, Sir Monutstuart
..Grtrnt Duff. Browning referred readily
to the .charge of obseurity .in his poetry,
1 "Be once told me," says Sir Mount,
Stuart Grant Duff, "after repeating a
story Wordsworth had told. him illus.
itrathg his cvA Strange wont of humor
x
and wit, that Wordsworth, utter all,.
j was unjust to himself, for that on hear,
Ing of Brownhfg's engagement to Miss
i Barrett be had said, 'Well, I suppose
1 they understauc each other, although
nobody understands theta.""
ITennyson's opinion of Browning (and,
incidentally, of himself) is shown in his
remark that "Browning is devoted to.
Music and knows a great deal .about it,
but there Is no music in, his verse. I
know nothing about music end don't
care for it in the least, but my verse Is
full of musle"
In reading Milton's Lyeldas aloud,
says Sir: htountstuart Grant Deft, Ten-
nyson would stop at the lupe,
And, oh, ye dolphins, waft the #�napiess
youth,
with the comment that this was "the
only bad line Milton ever wrote."
A terrible lot of love is wasted on
cats, dogs and uuntarrled men.
So inlay people waste time! Do you
do it? Do you talk, and talk about
nothing?
How we all dislike the child that
has its own way and Is impudent! All
of us need a great deal of training.
A good many people are like pie-
plant --their good quhlities are not
known because no ole bandies them
When a woman's daughter marries a I
right.
preacher she Is more lirmiy convinced
than ever that her clildrett have ad-
vantages she did notyeeenjoy.
If a woman truly loves her husband,
when she is asked how he is she will
say, "Well. he does not complain, but
I do not think he is very well."
If you have a little hard sense it has
probably been beaten into you; very
few have It naturally. So that, after
all, adversity and criticism are useful.
--Atchison Globe.
The Bear Re Missed,
Telling in his book of sorfte hunting
experiences near the north pole, Cap-
tain Sverdrup wrote: "Walruses and
seals were harpooned and shot and also
the large arctic hare, which seems to
have contracted the peculiar habit of
frequently running .long distances on
its hind legs. Hunting was not always
easy, the atmosphere playing strange
tricks with the eyesight, as witness the
following account of the stalking of a
bear: 'With the utmost caution, with
his gun ready and his eye fixed inex-
orably on the bear, Sehlei advanced to
the spot. Meanwhile the bear sat wag-
ging its head, but keeping a good look-
out, it appeared, for when Sohlei had
come some twenty steps nearer it rose
and flew away. It dew as well as any
bird, which, after all, was not remark -
Able, for it was a glaucous gull.'
An Intportant Diierenee.
Not long after a series of losses at
sea on a certain steamship line two
travelers were discussing transatlantic
liners. One of the men preferred the
C— line, the other the T— line, the
one on Which the repeated wrecks had
twine—ed.
"There's one important difference,"
said the first, "that you don't seem to
have considered, but which weighs
strongly with me."
"What is that?"
"Wee, the C- . line guarantees to
take you across, but the T— line
guarantees to 'eke you only as far as
it goes."
lie 5'onnd It.
"Always," said the astute news edi.
tor to the neer reporter -"always be on
the lookout for any little touch of hie
mor that may brighten up our eel-
tunns!"
That evening the new reporter band-
ed in an trrcottnt of a burglary in a
butcher's slurp which cotntneneed, "Mr.
Jeremiah ('leaver. the well knotvtl
buteher, has been losing 'flesh rapidly
of late.'
�lartdrtn1 Hiversioin,
"I expeeted to- find that suit alone,"'
Stormed the customer.
"Oh, well. here's the other snit dun,"
*old the tailor, who was n low Wag,
And who had a bill in his band.
they ittnuoite to aware.
:rou think that men Isle
smarter than S
efi
do or,
e.
Some men, but notal
i, t, 1§lie--\Pelt,
what men are smarter/ tie• -i lsl
' htlr;ders z-ilirtstratt d *151,. ,., .... -.. .
Tho island of Jersey.
The police court of St, Heiler, the
principal town of the island of Jersey,
is remarkable in several respects. First,
the proceedings are always opened with
prayer; second, it frequently happens
that after prayer there is no more
business, and every one goes home.
There is so little crime committed in
the island that the police force (twenty
strong)
iskePt up only for visitors. The
beautiful curving in cult which forms
the rostrum of this court is the woz'k
of a lady named Coxedge, a resident
of the island. The dock is remarkable
for its spaciousness and comfort. The
authorities are very lenient with their
prisoners, who are rept bere, for court
and station are under one roof. In
the words of the genial old turnkey,
"When we gets 'ern brought in drunk
during the day, if tbey behave well we
lets 'em out at night." Every "bobby"
is obliged to know the Psalms. It's all
he has to do.
Billiard Balls.
Billiard balls are made of Zanzibar
ivory, the other ivory, known as the
Bombay ivory, being too liable to crack
or chip. The Zanzibar ivory is soft
and therefore lasts better. The regu-
lation ball is two and three-eighths
inches in diameter, and a set of four
hosts about $30. They are rough turn-
ed -that is, turned a little larger than
the balls are to be when finished -and
are stored away in open crates for
from sixteen to twenty-two months to
season the ivory after being turned
and to allow any shrinkage to take
piace before the balls are finished, If
the bails were not seasoned in this
way they would be liable to shrink
after they were teethed, and, as they
only shrink in the direction of the
grain, they would become oval instead
of remaining round, ashey should be,
and it would be necessa y to have them
turned again.
Many John Smiths.
in Latin, John Smith is Johanus
Smithies; in Italian, Giovanni Smiths
or leabbroni; in Spanish. Juan Smithas;
in Dutch, Huns Schntitlts or Schmidt or
Sehmitzes; in French, Jean Sweets;
in Greek, Ioit Skmlton; in Polish,
Ivan Schmittiweiski; in Welsh, Iihon
Scbmidd; in Scotch, Jean Gowans; in
• Russian, Jouloff Skmittowski; in Chi.
hese, Jahon Shimmit; in Icelandic,
inline Smithson; in Mexican, Jontii
b'Smith; in Tuscarora, Ton Qu Smit-
. ria.
heroic War Measurer.
Make, a great African native chief,
I trained a powerful army which was
famous in war, If a regiment was
beaten it was slaughtered on its re -
j turn to the king's palace. If any man
lost his weapon in war he was killed
tor cowardice. If the chief wanted to
see what kind of weapons were most
successful he would order a sham fight
With them, in which real lives would
be lost.
Editor Versus Lawyer.
A lawyer In a courtroom may call a
man a liar, scoundrel, villain or thief,
and no one makes a complaint when
court has adjourned. If a newspaper
prints such reflections on a man's char -
oder there is a libel suit or a dead edi-
tor. .A.nd this is owing to the fact that
people believe what an editor says;
What a lawyer says cuts no figure.
The Place For ra Puyil.
"Acid there is one thing about the
pupil of the eye that I can't say About
lots of other pupils," remarked the
teacher.
"What is that?" asked the scholars in
chorus.
"11 is always found up around the
head."
Making Stire.
Mr. Totteriy-Could you marry a very
old hien with n good deal of money if
he told you frankly how old he Svgs
and ho'tv much he was worth? Miss
Timely -Hose much Is he worth?
Then He Went.
Urittelcoine Suitor -,•-•That's a lovely
song. It alw'nys carries me away, She
1 --If I had known how initch pleasure it
could give us both I would have sung.
it earlier it the evening.
That taunt 'Fernald*.
It ntakest no dltlerenctt lzovt' sinali 1
boy lo, when his mother ecoids hint the
al'way's says, "You ought to be asham-
ed of yourself, 'a big boy like you!"
1 Ale whoa _n In u s
oannaits tiee Is eves
j e
made rierb wretched thanhe Who *111,
Marr %..- Astor! - ........ , .........
{ Tim Muerte* et #fettsrtt#ss.
After till, the chief charm of this race
of wingee f2Awere doefi not Ile in their
varied and brilliant Wonky, nor yet in
their wonderful series of trunsfornut-
tione, lit their long end.sordiel eaterltil-
• Inc Iife, their long slumber in the
ebrysalls or the very brief period which
comprises their beauty, their lo
ventek-
ing, their parentage and their
death,
Nor does it lie In the fact that we do
not yet certainly know whether they
leave in. the Caterpillar shape the facul-
ty of sight or not, and do not even
know the precise use of their most eon
spicuous organ in maturity, the anted -
nue, Nor does it consist in this --that
they of all created things have fue
nlshed luau with the symbol of lits own
immortality, It rather lies in the feet
that, with all their varied life end
activity, they represent an absolutely
silent world, * * * A11 the vast array
of modern knowledge bus found no
butterfly which mttrmur•s with an audi-
' bee voice and only n very few speeies
welch can even ,audibly click or rustle
with their wings. -T. W. Higginson in
Atlantic,
Material Vsed In Making Note ranee.
It is itot a pieusuzit thought that -the
brilliant white note paper whielx your
band rests upon may have in it the
fibers from the filthy garment of some
Egyptian fetlah after it has passed
through all the stages of decay until it
' is saved by a rugpicker from the gut-
ter
utter of an Egyptian town, and yet it is
a fact that hundreds of tons of Eat). -
1 tain
gyp-1tain rags are exported every year lute
Americo to supply our paper mills. At
Mannheim, on the Ititine, the American
importers bave their rngptcking houses
weere ragsare collected from all over
Europe, tee disease infected Levant not
excepted, and where women and chil-
dren, too poor to earn a better living,
i work day after day, with wet sponges
, tied over their mouths, sorting these
' filthy scraps for shipment to New York.
I Our best papers are made of these rags
and our common ones of wood pulp,
which is obtained by grinding and
I macerating huge blocks from some of
j our soft wooded forest trees. --National
Geographic Magazine.
A Gypsy Prophecy.
An English magazine relates a cure
ohs instance of gypsy prophecy. The
third Earl Of Malmesbury, as Lord
Fltzhnrris, was riling to n yeomanry
review ewer Christchurch, when his or-
derIy, some distance in front, ordered
a gypsy woman to open a gate. The
, gypsy woman quietly waited till Lord
Fitzharris and his staff rode up, when
she addressed them, saying, "05, you
think you are a lot of fine fellows now,
but I can tell you that one day your
bones will whiten in that field." Lord
Fitzhurris laughed and asked her
whether she thought they were going
to have a battle, adding it was not very
likely in that case they would choose
such a spot. More than forty years
later the field was turned into a ceme-
tery.
A Country of Linguists..
1 Almost every native of Icelauti, even
the peasants and fishermen. can speak
at !vast one foreign language besides
his leen! Danish Willett. Some years
ngo it became a fad to study languages.
and now a person speaking only one
' tongue is looked down upon ns ex-
tremely ignorant. English leads; then
come German and French. Papers in
these three languages are rend exten-
sively in Iceland and may be found in
, all the village reading rooms.
I The ]lead and Feet.
The connection between the bead. and
! feet i.
9 well known. A hot head is or-
dinarily relieved by a hot footbath.
So cold feet tend to congest the brain
and other internal organs. Sometimes
' cold feet are caused by tight lacing or
' tight fitting shoes. .fiut it is as much
a suieidal act to basten death by com-
pressing the lungs or the feet as by
compressing the neck with a rope.
A Serious Decision.
Beatriz (aged six, after remaining in
deep thought for quite two minutes, ad-
dressing her mother, who has been
choosing frocks for her) - Mummy,
dear, before you buy the frocks, I've
thought it all over, and I think I'd rath-
er be a boy. -London Tit -Bits.
Confined to His Room.
Benefactor -flow Is your bueband
now, my dear woman? Poor Woman -
I am sorry to say, sir. he is confined
to his room, Benefactor -Could I see
him? Poor Woman -Possibly, sir, If
you applied at the county jail.
'THAT'S THE SPOT!
Might in the *mail of the. hack,
Do you ever got a pain there?
11 so, do you know what it tineans/
It is a Bacckache.
A sure sign of Kidney Trouble,
Don't neglect it. Stop it in time.
If you don't, serious Kidney Troubles
are aura to follow.
DOhN`S KIDNEY PILLS
tare Backache, Line Back, Diabetes,
Dropsy and all Kidney and !!ladder
Troubles.
P6triekOs. a bo# err3 tat 31.23.441 deailet ik
Db.t$ KIDNEY' PILL CO.,
Tetrsytk. OM.
1
The #lord•* linea at Wit.
it tl English lady reformer of
tutu age who visited India to deliver'>!i
lecture told the audience that ab;
would be happy to allover any itrlseN
tion, upon which a fat balm cause to
the front with. ""Bow' old sre YOUrt
"Oh, no," she replied; "1 don't mein
questloue of that sort; only once ONG
"
uevSe4 with the subject of the lacttz�, +
";ire yon forty?" -continued the bebee,
nowise abashed. "Nu, I won't *newer
such a question." was the reply. "are
you fifty?" vontinued her tormentor,
"Olt,. 110: 1 told you 1 won't answer
such queatlone." "Are you. sixty Y"
"05, no, no, 90; I'm not sixty," the
lady responded precipitately.
A shikarri out purtrldge shooting was►;
even in tits of laughter, slnpp!ag 551
thighs in the ecstasy of his glee, -On
Inquiring the cause of his hilarity, be
hurriedly said: "bush, sahib! That
cooly," indicating ,one of the beaters,
"has just been bitten by a green snake,
but be thinks it is only a thorn! Don't
tell him or bell be frightened and
stop beating." -From General Gerard's
"Leaves From the Mary . of a Soldier
and Sportsman."
The .lade Jokai hovel,
Of one phase of his life Jokal, the
Rungarlan novelist, wrote in disgust:
"Web, confess it 1 must. I have a
sweetheart, for whose sake I Kase been
faithless not only to my wife, but to
my muse also -a sweetheart who has
appropriated' my best idetie and wbose
Slave I was and still ant. Often 'Iwo
I wasted half my fortune upon her
and rushed blindly into misfortune to
please her. For her sake 1 have pa,
neatly
endured insult, ridicule
and
rep.
robation• for bee salie I have stake
d
life and liberty. Now, if she bad been
a pretty young damsel there Welt
have been some excuse for ate, but she
was a nasty, old, painted figurehead.
of a beldame, a flirting, faithless, fie,
kle, foul mouthed, scandalmongering
old liar, whom the whole world courts,
who makes fools of all her wooers and
changes her lovers as often as she
changes leer dress, Her name is Poll.
tics, and may the plague take her!"
Customs of the KaSirs.
The author of a book on the Kaflirs
of South .Africa says: "The women are,
on the whole, in favor of polygamy.
Sometimes a woman who Inas a dozen
other 'sisters,' as they call fellow wives,
will go to a woman who is the solitary
wife of a man and ask her if she does
not feel lonely. No one can visit a
large kraal -such, for example, as the
king's kraal in Swaziland-wbere there
are hundreds of buts, and not feel that
there is a certain charm in the soca'l
life of the place. It is a sort of college
life, and frequently my thoughts have
reverted to my old varsity days, and
it has struck me that if one could im-
agine a set of men living in the old
court of Trinity surrounded by wives
and children, with a social circle in
which every one was related to every
one else, one might get some idea of
the sheer joy of life amid 1,000 rela-
tions."
Swallows and Microbes.
Swallowsndother i it .
a migratory d3 b
invariably shun those places whicb are
in the slightest degree infected by
noxious microbes. Thus they are never
to be found in districts where cholera,
yellow fever, the plague and other epi-
demic diseases prevail. The districts
which they select as their temporary
homes are in all respects the most
healthy that can be found. It is evi-
dent from this tent persons who are
afraid of catching cholera or other in-
fectious diseases ought not to live in
places which are shunned by these
birds.
A Useless 'Verdict.
"res," said the old traveler, "1 was
on a jury in Ca1!fernla once. It was a
murder trial. I didn't want the fellow
hanged and so stnnk out against the
other eleven for nine days, locked up in
the jury room. when they gave in, and
we brought in a verdict of 'Not guilty,'
and then I was ready to stab myself
with spite."
"What about?"
"'Cause the mob had banged the prix•
over on the very first day we were
locked up."
Enloy What You Can.
To be soured by poverty or to ba.
hardened by it •is a tnistake-an erreg
of thought. Instead of enjoying etre ilea'
we are cramping ourselves. It le es if..
we were set at a feast and sulkily re-
fused to enjoy a few dishes because Svc
could not reach everything on the table
and make ourselves sick, like fooltse.
children that we are.
A, Telling Stroke.
The hare easily caught up with the
tortoise, "Web, old man, you're not
much of n runner," he sneered,
"No," admitted the tortoise, "I'm not.
I think I'll try for the crew. You ace,
I'm quite at home in the shell."
A fir,ttnetlon.
"Can a man patent n scientific oils•
eorery?" asked the eotnniereial person.
"It isn't usually done." answered the
scientist. "But some of then ought
to be eoyprighted as literary produc-
ticns. "
1`0 !rrifl1,tg Dc'tnl1.
Miss Truesoe--Am 1 to understand,
Ma, that everything Is settled in re-
gard to my wedding? Mr. Truesoe-
Yee, my dear, everything -but the bills!
Explaieied,
.i*iker-'•-i' by did they ea!) the tile.
diaecal period the "dark ogee?" Pro.
feasor--liecnuso It 'WAS knight tittle.
When e a real meek limn fke.,i good ttzl$
mad, be comes nighty near hating