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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1988-04-20, Page 17Parents train childfor a dry night's sleep. hen the Smith` first real- ized he had a problem, Bill was 3 years old. Now he was 15. "Don't worry. he'll outgrow it," the dax:tors kept telling them, The last time had been four years ago. But Bill was still a bedwetter. He' would wake up in a dry bed just two • days a week. Five doctors had tried their hest. They put Bill through cound- less tests. wrote numerous prescrip- tions. ordered hospital stays and even performed surgery. Nothing seemed to work. "Over the last 15 years, we felt for- tunate if the bed was dry two nights in a row," says the boy's father. who ask- ed that their real names not be used. "Bill would go to visit someone and spend the night. But he might stay awake the whole time, because he was embarrassed and did not want to wet the bed." Then, several weeks ago, the Smiths heard of the Canadian Children's Centre. They sent away for free literature and saw their own son's story being played out. What had hit them hardest was an earlier story that linked bedwetting to arson. "My son tried to burn down our shed," says the father. That's when 1 said 1 am tired of hearing 'don t worry he will outgrow it'—also I found out bedwetting is harmful physically and emotionally. If bedwetting can be stopped. why should we allow our child to sleep in this condition? If my son needed braces, I wouldn't hesitate." Many don't outgrow bedwetting "Children don't always stop bed- wetting," says Canadian Children's Centre director Vincent Fowler, In 14 years he has successfully treated thousands of bedwettets, and receives a large number of inquiries from adults who still have the problem. "But quite often a doctor will say 'Don't worry, your child will outgrow it,' That's because most doctors don't want the parents to worry over the fact that they don't have a cure or solution. A history of hedwetting in the family can reduce the chances a child will outgrow it." To back his position,' Fowler cites studies by Psychologist Dr. Warren Bailer of the University of California at Los Angeles. He wrote "Evidence accumulated casts doubt that children outgrow bedwetting. Most bedwetters hide their feelings and shame and embarrassment are their constant com- panion. Correcting their bedwetting often produces remarkable results in family relationships, behavior, school- work and peer contact." Bill was dry nine weeks after the Smiths sent for the centre's literature, and eight weeks without a wet bed, they have started to notice other changes. "My son has always been very quiet, very withdrawn. He seldom talks to us. 1 guess that's because he was teased a lot when someone who'd let him stay at his home let the cat out of the bag," says the father. Today Bill reaches rut for affection from his family in a way they've never known. He also appears much calmer. Bill follows the patterns of many "nocturnal enuretics" as the condition is mediceily known. For them, the pro- blem is more than just a wet sheet nuisance. Unfortunately, says Fowler, it's still a closely closeted problem few people arc willing to seek help for or even discuss with their family physi- cians or friends. Harmful physically and emotionally "These children can become social outcasts," Fowler says. "Their bedwetting problem makes it difficult for them to join the crowd. to go to camp. or spend the night with a friend. They live in constant fear of ridicule— that somebody will uncover their prob- lem. Bedwetting is not an accepted thing to do," He noted that the resulting shame from bedwetting during the sensitive age of a child, can be devastating. Often hostility, resentment and feelings of rejection or anti -social traits that can carry over into adulthood. "Our success goes beyond just stop- ping the bedwetting," Fowler says. "Most parents tell us that their children are happier with themselves. The child-' ren like themselves more and so do t their parents. A child who likes and respects himself is more capable of liking and respecting others. "A tremendous amount of stress is removed from the whole family. Often they weren't even aware it was related to bedwetting. Parents often find a great behavior and attitude change in the child. "Schoolwork often improves and so docs the child:s attention span and concentration. There are some real, positive benefits from stopping bed- wetting." But bedwetting, he explains. can leave emotional scars both on children and parents if the problem isn't treated quickly. And, as a general rule, he says, children should be able to make it through the night within six months of being toilet trained during daytime hours. The concerned parent Bedwetting is known to cause emo- tional problems if not corrected before school. So the majority of inq'ai,ies come from parents of four -year-olds looking for a solution prior to their children starting school. Many other parents get upset at Inc cbild because they know friends and relatives can sometimes smell the odor, and the cost can average over $300 a year, just for laundry. There are plenty of folk and tradi- tional remedies, but Fowler says trey do more harm than good because they delay proper therapy. "lb offer a child a reward to accomplish something when they're sleeping, they can't win. It sets them up for failure." Improper methods of treating bed- wetting can include: waking or lifting a child at night, restricting or reducing liquids during the day or before bed, rewards, scolding, drugs, waiting to outgrow it. and treating it medically. All of rhe above methods can produce harmful side effects. Causes and effects "Bedwetting can cause a tiny bled - 'der and so does waking or reducing liquids," he says. "You actually en- courage bedwetting by waking then," After awhile, the child develops some strongly ingrained habits and negative self -expectations, which make it harder to overcome the problem, he adds. Repeated bedwetting episodes at night, and the frequency of day- time voiding may tend to keep the blad- der underdeveloped and the sphincter or lock muscle weak. Most bedwetters are very sensitive. The child may also become overly sensitive about being a bedwetter. This anxiety connected with bedwetting can make the problem worse. After children are toilet trained. he says, waking in the morning wearing a diaper or sleeping in a wet bed can't help but affect them emotionally. They know they are a disappointment to themselves and their parents. Folk remedies Some parents will reward their child- ren for a dry night or scold when bed- wetting occurs. But Fowler says "To offer a child a reward to accomplish something when they're sleeping, is a no-win situation. h sets them up for failure. ' He notes that a 31/2 year study at McGill University concludes that deep sleep, not the child, is to blame as the No 1 cause of bedwetting. Scolding only makes the problem worse, because the child ends up deny- ing how badly he or she feels to the parents. And. while Fowler says mexii- cal intervention isn't as prevalent as it once was, it also can worsen a condi- tion. Beth the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the American Medical Association say dugs are not the treatment of choice. Medical attempts Not only do drugs not work: they're also dangerous and harmful. Anti- depressants. sold under such names as Toffranil, Presamine, Elavil and Ditripan, are most often prescribed. But according to the FDA's Poison Control Data Base. 18.7 percent of children who accidentally overdosed on these drugs from 1971 to 1978 re- quired hospitalization, compared to just 4.6 percent with all other drugs. The same study showed the death rate for these drugs is 33 times greater than all other drugs. "Poisoning of children by tricyclic antidepressants is emerging as a significant public health problem," says the FDA. Fowler notes that the American Academy of Pediatrics established that bedwetting is reit a medical problem. and advised against most medical tests or drugs. For example. X-rays close to a child's genitals poses unnecessary risk of radiation. He also notes that a surgical pro- cedure where the urethra, or urinary passage, is enlarged has also been popular. But Fowler says the healing and scarrng process can cause the urethra to become smaller. The Smith's son Bill underwent the operation and it didn't work. ad%rniwment Psychological considerations Staff psychologist Arnold Keller says the worst so-called solution— without question—is for parents to wait until children outgrow the problem. This is because toilet training teaches children the difference between right and wrong, success and failure, clean and dirty. So bedwetting only rein- forces negative feelings and can lead to a poor self image. "It's not that they outgrow it. It's that they stop talking about it," he says. Most bcdwetters hide their feelings in shame. They try to hide from the parents any inkling that it matters. So parents often don't think it affects the child. If a child does not show signs of the bedwetting bothering him. this can the serious. ' Bedwetters often develop one of two types of personalities, according to Keller. "The majority don't work to their full potential," he says. Since they are active during the day, they are deep sleepers with a short attention span. Keller says they often have difficulty communicating with their parents because of the guilt associated with bedwetting. One study showed three of every four institutionalized juvenile delinquents were or had been bed- wetters. Unfortunately, too, says Keller, there is a higher incidence of suicide in children who are bedwetters. The other personality type is that of the over -achievers, who try to prove they're OK. Keller says they knock themselves out to be successful. All of this can cause parents to suffer guilt when family or friends start blaming them for their children's problem. And as a last straw, parents sometimes have resorted to rather cruel methods of stopping their children from bed- wetting. Keller says one family admitted beating their child and making him sleep in a wet bed—admittedly the first time they'd been ab.asive—and con- trary to their love and desire for their son to stop wetting the bed. Fortunately, Fowler says, enuresis can be corrected in almost every case. Parents can correct it right in the privacy of their own home. His center enjoys a success rate of about 97 per- cent for those accepted. using the Dry Bed Training method he pioneered. His method, now called The Fowler Methodm, was first developed in Australia at Adelaide Children's Hospital. The difference is that The Fowler Method can be done outside of the hospital, with parents or adult bedwetters working on their own. Fowler began working with bed- wetters and their families over 14 years ago. He first opened in Windsor and. because of growing requests from the United States, opened a clinic in South- field, Michigan, where he founded the American Enuresis Association. a non- profit profit organization. Fowler moved to London, Ontario in 1981, where he ran support groups offered by the city of London and to the London YMCA - YWCA, and has been back in Windsor for the past two years. He has helped thousands of bed- wetters across the United States and Canada, as well as cases in Germany. Yugoslavia and Fiji. Throughout his career, Fowler has been a frequent guest on radio and tele- vision talk shows. He has addressed numerous service organizations and parenting groups at schools. colleges, libraries and churches. For additional information, and to find out why your child wcts the bed. send for our free brochure. All in quiries arc confidential. Canadian Children's Centre, 880 Ouellette Avenue, Suite 802, Windsor, Ontario N9A 1 C7. Telephone 1-800-265-0802._ VINCE FOWLER Send for free information on WHY YOUR CHI and HOW TO STOP IT. NAME ADDRESS CITY PHONE PROV. POSTAL CODE CHILD'S A Mail to: CANADIAN CHILDREN'S CENTRE, 880 0 Dept. GSS4, Windsor, Ont. N9A 1C7. Telepho ALL INQUIRIES CONFIDENT( 11) WETS THE BED GE uellette Ave., Suite 802, o 1-800-265-0802. UCW HAM SUPPER - Ryan and Tom Eckert feast their eyes on a pie delivered to them by Betty Glanville at the UCW Ham Supper recently. The supper fed 350 people to raise money for the Cavan United Church in Winthrop. Corbett photo. High Court I eefing in Saskatoon Cranbrook Correspondent MRS. MAC ENGEL 8874645 Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Bert van Donkersgoed on the arrival of their first grandchild, born April 8, a daughter Christine Michelle, to Mr. and Mrs. Don Bolget, London, the former Bernice van Donkersgoed. Mr. and Mrs. Pete Van Boekel and girls of Innerkip were guests of Mr. and Mrs. John Vanass on Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Jack Clark, Stratford, and Mrs. Jean Dunn, Listowel visited with Mrs. Mac Engel on April 10. The Foresters had their April meeting in the Community Centre with 14 members present. President Brother Bob Bremner, assisted by the chaplain Sister Mary Ellen Jacklin and Vice President Brother Harry Jacklin conducted the meeting. Brother Jack Conley was elected voting delegate to the High Court meeting July 9 to 13 in Saska- toon. Tickets are still available for the beef draw. Lunch was provided by Sister Isabel Craig, Sister Linda Morton and Sister Mary Ellen. The Women's Missionary Society of Knox Presbyterian Church met on April 13 at the home of Mrs. Joe Smith with 11 members present. The leader, Mrs. Stewart Steiss, opened the meeting giving readings on Spr- ing and Easter. Meditation and prayer was said by Mrs. Steiss. Roll call was each member contributing an Easter reading or poem. An invitation was received to a meeting on May 4 in Atwood when the speaker will be Helen Barker. The Presbyterial visitor is Mrs. Clayton Ed - Turn to page 19A • Unit 1 discusses 'Power of Music' Walton Correspondent MRS BETTY McCALL n7417 The Power of Music was the theme for the April meeting of the Walton I unit Wednes- day when 17 members met in the church basement. Devotions were led by Leona McDonald who opened with a poem on "Happiness" Doreen Hackwell was pianist and Dorothy Sholdice•`read the scripture. Audrey Hackwell gave a poem, "A Song". Margery Huether gave a most interesting topic on the Power of Music, stressing how important music is in your life. Unit members sang many songs from Songs for a Gospel People. All members answered their favourite song from this book for the roll call. Margery remarked how it was just like choir practice as she played for all the songs, as well singing Come. and Rejoice (written by Jane Parker Huber) for the 1st i'th anniversary of the Wor Day of Prayer, which was last year. Closing with 'Amazing Grace', `Evergreen - `To -gray' and 'Think' making it an evening of Music, bringing back many favorite songs. Marie McGavin presided for the business giving out coming events. Plans were made for Sunday evening, three were named to take muffins for the lunch when Mission In- terpretation Workshop will Ia held with Rev. Je tt Parr. April 19 a supper meeting is called for 1 p.m. Blyth suppers from the Fe al are Sept. 1 and 8 with a luncheon on J e 23. udrey Hackwell read minutes and took roll all, treasurer Doreen Hackwell gave her report. The next meeting will be a Joint meeting with both units. Marie closed with "Where There is Faith". Lunch was served by Marjorie Huinphrles, Alice Searle and Leona McDonald. LOCAL BRIEFS The Institute noon luncheon is Wednes- day, the annual meeting of the W.I. is called for 7 p.m. with a 'meal. This is the last euchre of the season on Thursday evening with a Dessert Euchre at 7 p.m. See you all there. Mr. and Mrs. Allan McCall received word that Mrs. Harold (Edna) Currie of Hamilton passed away on April 15. Mrs. McCall is the latter's niece. THE HURON EXPOSITOR, APRIL 20, 1988e— 17 1988 FENCE & DECK BOOKING SUPER VALUE Through April 23rd Pressure Treated Lumber 1 x 6 >,.o......31 Lin. Ft. 2 x 12 ..,,e. 1.55 Lin. Ft. 2 x 4 ....e......38 Lin. Ft. 4 x 4 ..ti........82 Lin. Ft. 2 x 6 .......... .59 Lin. Ft. 4 x 6 to 16 ft. 1.20 Lin. Ft. 2x6..•....... ,81 Lin, Ft, 6x6 2 x 10 .,..o. 1®22 Lin. Ft. to 16 ft. 1.90 Lin. Ft. Book Now For APRIL ® MAY ELWVERY HURRY aoo SALE ENDS. SAT., APRIL 23rd FREE DELIVERY TO != AYFIELD & AREA I SALES 'POWER ...TRLI INNOVATION I RYON TOOLS POWER 3307wrinz VVI'i,.1,f: '11 iJul C:� ..� NG Y.0 u 'M 4 u. 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