HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance, 1912-11-28, Page 6, A READY kolSWER.
(Iloston TrinseriPt)
Mee (to tardy clerk) -How is It, Mr.
Jenee. that you allow me to arrive at
the effiee Met mornings?
Clerk --It le proper that I should give
preeedence to my superiors, sir.
hael-ES OF THg GAME.
(Harvard Lampoon)
Ile -Dearest, you're the goal of any
affection.
She (removing his arin)-Five Yards
for nolding.
I Flop..
ACCIDENTAL.
.Cincinnati Enquirer)
"I ran across an old friend of yours
to -day." remarked the chaffer.
"Will be recover?" asked the bartender.
NOT EMPHATIC ENOUGH.
(Harper's 'Weekly)
Perkins (as he misses for the twentieth
lime) -Tut. tuti Fudge!
Caddie -Say, boss, you can't learn to
pay golf wid dat langividge.
TO BE EXPECTED.
( 'Washington Star)
Marke-They say the absconding cash-
ier had been a lamb in Wall street.
Parks -Then the skipping was„quite na-
tural. eh?
••-•
GETTING OVEREDUCATED.
(Boeton Transcript)
"Never mind," said the ready-made
philosopher, "experience is the best teach -
"Yes." replied the man who is con-
etantly in troube; "but the person ought
not to be expected to stay in 'school all
his life."
••••••••aaarr.- 411.41.411paraaroaareaaa.
PROVED.
( Harper's Weekly)
"Dou you believe that money makes
the mare go?" asked Dubbleigh.
"Sure," said Wigeley. "As soon as a
mart gets money he buys an automobile
and the mare goes for what she's worth."
mftF,
a
SAME SENSATION.
(Washington Herald)
"Can. you imagine," demanded the re-
turned explorer, "the enorrnous extent of
those vast snow fields?"
"I kin," deelared the statesman from
wayback. "I had the same sensation the
first time I appeared in public wearing
a dress shirt."
SHOCKS.
(Washington State)
"Why do you refer to that orator
'bile hymen high -explosive?"
"Because he Is always getting the tip -
lift vonfused with the outbuer.4t."
• •4•
MADE A DIFFERENCE.
(Buffalo Express)
"Each of these ten boils is worth
said. the physician, essaying the role of
job'comforter.
"To you or teame, doe?" anxeously ask-
ed the afflicted man.
• • •
BOBBY'S CIRCUMLOCUTION.
(Boston Transoript)
Mrs. Kawlen-Wo is the smartest. boy
in your school. Bobby?
Bobby -Well, Johnny Smith says he is.
Mrs. Kawler-But who do you think. is?
Bobby -I'd te-ther not say. I'm not so
conceited as Johnny Smith.
RETALIATION.
(adge)
Agnee-X wish this suffragette move-
ment would introduce the custom of girls
calling on men.
Gladys -Goodness, why?
Agnes -I know a few Staylates whom. I
would enjoy keeping up until after mid-
night.
THE COLORIST.
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
"Yes, he is regarded as one of our
leading colorists."
"Better than Gamboge *Smear?"
"Yee, Indeed. Why, there's one; of his
bits of still life, a study of a raw beef-
steak, that looks like a Sicilian sunset."
JUST A NOISE.
(Judge)
"De they have music at the hotel?"
"No; only an orchestra."
ALL RIGHT FOR HIM.
• (Boston Transcript)
Jack -Do you believe in the no
fast idea?
Tom -Yes, I don't have to get up till
l'ench time.
break -
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER. -
. (Washington Star)
"Doeton't the story of the prodigal son
bring tears to your eyes "
"Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel, "Ev-
ery time I hear that story I can't help
sympathizing with the fatted calf."
FURS.
(Washington Herald)
"Hubby, I want some furs this winter."
".All right, dearie. I'll get you a set of
ear .inuffe."
•
THE TEMPTER.
(Boeton Transcript).
Jimson, I hear your wife is
away."
"Yes, and I'm going home to feed the
cat."
"Shucks! Come with me and feed the
kitty."
COMPENSATION.
(Birmingham. Age -Herald)
"What would you do if the editor to
whom you sent your eherished verses
called them a 'metrical spasm'?
0, 1 wouldn't mind if he -thought they
were a nt."
HANDICAPPING A WINNER.
(Washington Star)
"You say you object to your wife's
Snterest in euffrage for financial hasons?
"Yes," replien Mr. Flimgilt. "It Inter-
feres With her bridge -playing."
e• *4"
MUSTN'T TELL.'
(Boston Transeript)
Site,:ld leer Sweet Mouth up to him
And then remarked, to wit:
"You may print a kls on iny lipe, dear
Jim,
But you must not publish
RAN A RISK. „
(Ohio State journal)
"Did youse get anything'?" whispered
the burglar on guard as his pal emerge.d
from the wnidow.
"Naw, de bloke wot Hoeg here
IiI.WYtry" 8a1c1 the other in disgust.
"Dave hard hula" said The first. "Did
Yeuee loee Anythire .g?"
PRAIsE.
(Tatter)
The Curate --That was a splendid ser -
Mon the -vicar preached last Sunday.
Workmari--Yee, w anus likes that one,
,
OUR SPORTY PARIVIERS,
etVasiiington Stain
Things have ehanget n great deal Ablec.
the old-tashiened elections."
replied, Alr. Cort1Lo.. 1 f.ilv(.111t.,
"Getting the 'farmer onused •to de -
rend on the weatiae. Now it dorneide
O1 the eondition of the romle aed tut;
r,rie,e of gasoline."
"Cal YOII amended the re-
turned eXp1oler8 "(lie enornion4 tent
of those last snowfithl4?" '‘/ Rin.”
pimrerl the etateernen from N3.7rtyletek. "f
hart the 'tame eetieetion ihe firet time T
upaeirell in publie esesaiitig a dress
ehirt."---IVrteltingtott Ilereld.
rginiummuffitmumumuum
mmuummuunt.
-11111M111111111111111111111111111UMMI11111111111111111111111
insome Winnie E
VITT.
tee
Winuie etarted in tereified confusion.
She was oily secretly idoliziug and wor-
ehipping the being whorn her patronese
loved beet on earth -only hoping to
idolize and worahip him in secret to the
last hour a lier life; but oh, how dread-
ful if. madam knew! It were better 1or
her to die on the spot!
"I be your pardon, 'madam; I forgot
-I was thinking. I don't know _what
sort of jacket I shall lutve yet."
Madam raised her eyebrows in sur-
prise at her little eampanion'e perturba-
tion.
"That vulgar etep-mother has quite
destroyed the girl's self-possession; ate
said to herself. "Don't allow Mrs, Caer-
lyon to choose for you, Winifred please,"
she uttered aloud, with a curling lip;
"you had better have a neat ble,clecloth
jacket and set of grey squirrel furs. That
reminds me," she added suddenly -"my
new fors may be home to -night."
"Your new furs!" eehoed Winnie, with
bright eyes.. "Oh, are you. going to
have new furs, Madam? What sort?"
"Silver lox," said Madam, smiling. "I
am tired of ermine and Astrakhan. Ste-
phen is to send them to me as a pres-
ent; he knows some place in London
where he will get the very best, he retys,
from Russian merchants.
, "Oh, how kind -how -how beautiful!"
stammered Winnie, flushing and sparkle
Ing in an extraordinary "'tanner.
"Indeed, I don't think it is kind at
all," retorted Madam. "Stephen knows
that be has behaved unkindly and dis-
pleased me, and wants to make up with
a present."
"llow-how has Certain Tredennick
displeased you, madam?" inquired Win-
nic, the blood rushing to her heart, and.
leaving her very lips pale.
Madam's eyebrows were elevated again
in surprise at modest, timid Winnine's
downright questioning.
"By paying me a ten days' visit, after
three years' absence, and making a busi-
ness excose to go off again!? vouchsafed
Madam, with .a frown. "But for his writ-
ing and making me such a faithful
promise to come back in twelve months,
and stay at least a quarter of a year
with me, I think 1 should.have declined
to receive Captain Stephen on his re-
turn; still, I must confess that I knew
he had heavy business matters to trans-
act at Lloyds' and. with several foreign
merchants."
"Oh, yes, of course," said Winnie,
white and red by turns with the anguisb.
of hearing a fault ascribed to her idol.
"I am sure Captain Tredenniek would
not go unless he could help it, when he
knew that it would grieve you, Ma-
dam," •
"Why, what do you know of Captain
Tredenruck, Winnie?" asked her pat-
roness, half tauntingly itod half
sharply. -
"Only what I saw of him, Madam," an-
swered Winnie, looking down, and mak-
ing wrong stitches in her' embroidery.
"You know he came over to 'see father
two or three days before he went."
"Oh, yes, I know," said Madam, af-
fably -"he told me; also that Mr, Pas-
coe had come to spend the evening, and
that you treated. him very cruelly. For
shame, Winniel"
"Why, I didn't see him or speak to
him at all while Captain Tredennick woe
there!" exclaimed Winnie'hastily. "It
was after he was gone that he -they
went on so; and. I went out of the house..
The mean Wretch! ' I wish he was at
Jericho!" broke out Winnie, with con-
fused, passionate tears and gestures.
"My dear, pray, control yourself," said.
Madam, coolly. "Why did they go on
SO, as you express it??
"Because -because -I don't know; be-
cause that nasty, hateful, prying crea.-
tun," answered. Winnie. shaking all over
and crying, "went on saying things; and
mamma took his part, and. father scold, -
ed me, and—"
"Oblige me, Winifred, by being a little
more lucid. in your language; and pray
stop that unladylike crying and shak-
ing," said Madam, in a very cold, hard
tone, knitting her fine pencilled brows
together. "What did Mr. Pascoe say to
make your father scold. yoo, and make
you ron out of the house?"
"He callecl me names, Madam, replied
Winnie, drying her tears, and compose
bag herself with a strong, angry effort
said I was a gad -about aod a flirt:.
and father scolded me, though 1 clid,hotk
deserve it." Her pale, quiet faee Was.
flosh.ed, and almost sullen, from reeetise
of injury, "As if anything that mean'
false story -teller could say would make.
' Inc think more of him, or be afraid. of
him!" elle added, scornfully. ,
"And whom did Mr. Pascoe accuse you.
of .flirting with?" asked Madam smiling,
but looking rather perturbed. also.
Winnie hesitated, dropped her work
on the floor'and Madam caught a
glimpee of a frightened spasm passing'
over her fate as the girl said, reluctant-
ly, the angry cloud darkening her patient
brow -
"A person wn.om he had no business to
dare t� name -of whom he knew hone
bag. To dare to speak sol" she mut-
tered.
"Ah," said Madam, looking both vexed
and pleased, "I 'have no doubt he wase
wroeg. Winnie. I am sure you are too
cautious in your conduct for any one to
be a-ble to bring it true charge of for-
wardness or flirtation against you. You.
know girls cannot be too eircurnspeet fit
their behavior, niy dear, nor too careful,
to avoid the empty attentions of men
who give them a passing notice and then
forget them, only to remember thein
with a jest amongst their companions.
Never err but on the right side, my
dear," concluded the lady, who flirted,
gracefully, as she had done all through
her wifehood when. ahe had plenty of
eonstent admirers-eae he had done in
the daye of young belleship, When she
roekoned her lovers ht number like her
glove, and thought as little of them
after their first <Imam had. d.eparted.
Winnie did not reply to the improve
leg 'exhortation, although she ba:4 list-
ened to it most attentively and bellev-
ingly. She thought of Ow farewell
'Words in the firelight of the little red -
tiled kitehen; the thought of Stephen!
'rredenniek's peeing ;Wee; and the
eound of Madainse words seemed to
beat on her heart with a cold, trange
pain. It Wee not the first pairs that
her love had vett her, poor Whittle}
(laerlyon! It Was not to be the last.
"I a= sure that it was utarue ond
'unfair of Mr. Paeeoe th peek eo, Whi-
ttle dear," Madam continued, more
neturelly and kindly; "became I know.
that anything of Ora sort le quite fore
Olga to his nature. 1should be grottly
disappointed if I found that It wag
Mite Trewhollahs discreet, gentle tap
Interrapted the smooth little homily
Meent for the reprOef, guidaltee, Cite.
tion, and warning Of Madeten'S protege,
"A tatge box sent up from Onewilltan
station, eladam--freln London."
"Oh, my fors!' 'said Mediu; lookIng
quite eager and expectantdespite her
slighting remark. 'Bring tt in, Treas.
Immo pleseee."
The great ease ,was dragged in, and
the cordand packiog papera were esut
and pulled off by the uoited efforts 01
Wineie And ..i\tiSS rreWilella-the latter
t'(eenteel person mewling when the cords
iiurt. her fingers, and toe pincer e caught
her nails instead of the nails in tlie
and the former workiag away fluated,
excited, and smiling at the titooght or
keeling Madain'e new epiendors, and
admiring theni-ohl so inuen-for the
eetice of the kind, thoughtful, gen'orous
"There now -at last! .•011, my 0°(4 -
nese! Dear Madam it's magnificent
it'e gplendid! Oh, kiss Tdewnelia, did
you ever see anything so beautiful?
Look at the eollarette and the muff,
and, the depth of that splendld silvery
thing ronnd the velvet!"
"It's very handsome, indeed, X161
Winnie -quite it for a queen to wear,"
said Mies Trewhella, with a genteel air
of complete, satisfaetien in. lia-ving at
last eeen what she 'considered. a perfect
article; "light furs beeome eiadam se)
much, too! '
"Oh, it's superb, exquieite I" =armor-
ed Whiie, feastisg her eyes on tile
richness .and beauty and softness of the
spleredid velvet and furs, without olio
touch of envy or covetousness towards
the owner, who already possessed sev-
eral costly sets of furs and fur mantles
and jaekete, the least valuable of whieh
were never given or promteed to her.
Winnie Caerlyon.
Mad= geld to herself that it was
of no use to give, a poor girl a ;tingle
-rich costly Article which would match
none of the rest of her attire, and mest
likely, would be teppropriated by Mx&
Caelyon; OeSi4le4. 'Trewhella would be
sessions, and think herselw wronged, and
el that nonsense. For all Madsen s
rich silk, and, led -aside millinery he -
came the potthin of that -ivatchful
damsel, who indeed determined at this
moment to hint as brotectly as she eculd,
on the ilex.ha-ora1-1e opportunity, on
the extreme propriety of Madam's
over to her the A.strakhe.n jecket
arid muff which 'she never were.
"Really it ie lovely -quite a handsome
present of ISteplien?.s, said Madam,
looking math gratified. "That Lyons
velvet is superb, Trewhella; an, what a
depth of that beautiful silvery turl It
must have cast a great deal."
Miss Trewhellla, diving deeper into
the box, looked up at this juncture with
an ant of mingled reproaeh and eontfort-
ed. assurance.
"Another sealskin, Madam!" she said,
lifting a. pile of quilted satin and gold-
eneblack fur. "That makes two seal-
skins, an °Asti -Mellon, a Polish ermine a
velvet and sable, a velvet and chinehilla,
in -
on
el-
-
ow
a
in
lf-
a
rd -
the Canada, other furs, axed*"
"What are you talking about?"
terrupted_ her mistress, Shortly, under-
etandina the drift of the convereati
perfectly. "That is not mine, Trey/il
la; it is some inietake, of Mine.
didn.'t want a sealskin, and told Capta
Tredennick not to get one as 1 prefer
red the silver fox for a change. n
stupid. of the people! But What
beauty it lel It cost twenty guineete,
at least 1"
If Ulm was a feminine passion
Madam Vivian' calmly deeorous, se
contained, equable nature, it was
lovo of elegant, coetly dress; and„ de-
spite the treasures of her winter-wa
robe which het.. maid 'had reckoned up,
th
te
hs
rne.
as
BO
ck
she gazed at the splendid eealsichl wi
'
longing eyes and buried her little whi
fingers in its gold -shaded velvety dept
with a covetous appreciation of its rich-
ness.
"Oh, I dare say, Madam," .M.iss Trew-
hella said, eyeing the jacket' in her tu
With -greedy longipee 'that Captain Ti
denniek thought you'd like a new seal-
skin too; though your other one is
good as new nearly. The captain is
generous, and inakes such beautiful eares-
ents," she went on; "you remember,
madam, that time you expected a bla
Menem. lace 'shawl, he sent all those
splendid lace. flounces with it anti your
white lace Ian."
n?'
• • "'
agreed madam, taking up the
sealskin admiringly, and willing to be
persuaded that it was an unexprted ad-
dition to her generous nephew s costly
present. "I really aid not want this-
foolieh boyl"
"And ie that for you also, madam?"
inquired. Winnie, amazed,
"Yee, I suppose so," said madam, Care-
leseely, as it a twerstrgainott eettislein
more or .less were no great matter, "Help
me on with this velvet, Trewhella; Ste-
phen ie bent on making the amende
honorable with all; his might. Ah, what
is that?"
A note fell from the folds of the
velvet at Trewhella shook it iout,d
an
Winnie caught it up and presented it to
enadaln,
"What bete Stephen. to say, wonder?".
madam 'murmured, with a satisfied smile,
tearing the envelope °Pen.
'My dear Aunt.'--11.'m-q have at last'
--Wm---It'sn-(hope you will like it --very
best Siberian fur' -alt---"
A very long pa,use in which madam
stared at the paper, Winnie looked earn-
esitly at the nob, gifts, thinking of the
giver, and longing to hear every word
he lttial written, and Miss Thewhella
decided within hers -elf that she wordd
have that Astrakhan packet owl maff
that very day-madeera might give her
the other sealskin too without being
over-generotts.
The letter dropped. trona -made-nee
hand, and her'steadfast totte paesred from
it to Winifred% unconscious face ---a little
saddened. The girl could not help it
while thinking what a beautiful lot of
things -new peeket, nod dress, and
boole, and, bonnet for herself, a. little
swattedown-trimmed robe for Louie
new umbrella for father --she lertew'he
'WOUld like a nite silk one to mucle--and
a slice neat eilk-velvet mentelet, the very
thing She 'WM longing for, for mamma
twenty guineas 'would bay, evhieh
lantourst had all gone for that jiteket
that Madera did not want!
The thagnetie attraetion of nutdeants
eyes Made Wirirtie aook up hastily; and
the face elle setees-eso set and cold, with
hoetile glimmering smile, like Money
Sunlight, on the proud inotali and
hang -thy, curving nostrileoetilmost made
her pap with appreligneive timidity.
"I did not know that (."aptain Tredetts
nick ntontheed yon A keepetekte, lay deer?"
"No, he did note -that is, 1 thought he 1 hale.
Weei oml joking," at/tot/hexed Minnie, her (TO be Continued.)
heart, beating _inatily. "Why, =aeon?"
"Oh, no, 'My' itt all, my dente" plaid AtillgaMerit of deed-e-Ifeary Lam to
mtedeem„ filoging the note ote the USW Dtteeitt More, 14hre1id avenue InttObeteir
the lafettgarty oesetrile,dileting otninseitetea GetOite-Timee,
end the pale, handsome face growing I
stoney in ith unapproachable hauteur
and cold. indifferenee; "only I thought
you would have mentioned, it when you
knew that it wive cowing to you. Oaps
tain Tredenuiek i so generoue, really I
think he would give away all that he
poesseesed if he were aeke,.t for it. Don't
entail my sleeve, Trewhella. Do you
remember the time when all these Lien -
yon girla got Captain Tredenniek to
send them keepsakes, Trewhellae
thought I should have expired with
laughter to eee them all turning out in
coral neeklacee and Indian silk sashes
every Sundays -the captain out them all
madaan,'.' said Trewhella,
tittering doubtfully, not certain from
what quarter had come her mietress'
concealed vexation, and looking *canoe
et Whistle, who felt her. very Mahe trellis
bilir,kgvibtrtetaetevtet11,1 itie,
lliyrone ivsice him to give
ie" given at once," maelam continued,
Weighing. "The Llanyoneh were all wild
for Delhi embroidered sashes and coral
necklace, and he sent them; and so I
eruppoee you gave a hint of your wielosS}
Mies Winnie?"
"What, madam? I dido't Say any-
thing," said Winnie, the tears rising to
her eyes., "Captaiii Tredenniele said, the
evening he wae at our house ,that he
would send tete a flying flail, or a string
of coral, or something; and I said that
I did not want anything. I did not ask
hint for anything, madam,"
Her throat swelled painfully with pas-
siongta,excitentent and reproach, and
she turned away to hide the fast -falling
tears.
"Dear me," saidImam coolly sarcas-
tic; "don't 'make such an llysterieal piece
of work of it, Winnie! I have no doubt
you are very pleeeed and grateful fer
such a handsome, expensive preseat, but
there is no need to ery oboist it."
"hat present, madam? 1 know of
none -I see hone-expeeted none," (Tied
Winnie, goaded into sharpness at last,
"Don't you see your fur -Jacket?" tusk-
ed madam, with the same careless, sar-
castic emile, "Wipe away your tears,
child, and put it on, and let us see
how you look in it."
"Mine!" Winnie almest screamed.
"That fur -that sealskin -mine! It isn't
inadam-he never meant that! Did he-
-did he eay it was for me?"
A +swift, penetratiug glare was all
that Madam vouelisafed her excited,
young protegee, as the former moved
over to the full-length mirror to study
the effect of her new furs,
"Now, I an sure, Miss Winnie," said
Miss Trewhella, biting her lips and af-
feeting to smile like her mistress, when
the worthy young woman's very heart-
strings evere wrupg with jealousy -
"now I am sure you've got a present!'
A real sealskin, no less! My, won't you
be splendid!"
"Do eonse here, Trewhella, and see
why the eollarette won't lie smoothly!"
called her mistress, impatiently, from
the 'mirror.
Miss Trewhella obeyed, feeling ready
to ery, hoping that Madam's jacket
would not fit her, and wishing "that
Winnie Caerlyon" to be banished in dis-
grace from Rosevi'orthy then and there.
And Winnie stod dlizily by the table
table,' looking at the darkly golden heap
1.1Clerkd atali mettle . ,Mln 04einfwe
beside her, afraid to touch it, afraid to
believe her . own ears, or to ask a
question; "Well," said madam, "what
is the Matter now?" Her own black Ly-
ons velvet ana silver fur fitted perfect-
ly, and looked superb end the coned-
oueness of looking like it duchess -and
a very handsome one -filled Madam
with graciousness for the time. "Why
don't you put it on, child? Let me see
it. There! -Well, really! Turn around.
You must have a niee dress to go with
it, Winnie. Really Captain Tredennick
determined you sliVold not be cold any
more this spring!"
"He know 1 was cold that 3norning,"
thought poor Winnie;' "it is a charity
gift to keep me Warm! Ile need not
-need not have insulted me. If he had
sent Inc a book or a foieign shell, or
any little trifle of remembrance, as I
thought he would. But twenty guineas
for a jacket fOr anel"
The „frightful price of one article of
her attire, the thought of what they
would all say at home, the intuitive
consciousness that Madam was displeas-
ed, the mortification of being made the
recipient of what teemed to be Captain
Tredennick's compassionate bounty, the
secret rankling pain of such being be -
stewed by him on her, and the excite-
ment of the +splendid jacket -all toge-
ther quite overthrew and shattered Win
-oiete shaken composure.
"I don't want it -I don't want it!"
she sobbed, unhooking and flineeleg it
off, and, burying her face :11. her out-
stretched, arms on the .table, while Mad-
ero paused in surprise and vexation, un-
til vexation got the mastery and she
quitted the room, bidding Mists Trephel-
la carry the fur -box after her-- which
comthand that damsel obeyed, with var-
loos. sniffs anO indignant glances at
sobbing -,Winnie.
"Miss Winnie's fur jacket seems to
have turned her brain," Madam re-
marked, as her maid laid the new furs
away in 'her cedar -closet.
"Seems to, Madam," responded the
abigail, evith a verittiee acaent; "it.was
well for Miss Whinie size eitme'over that
wet night, .else she might never have
met the captaire Twenty guineas} for a
jacket for her -well to be sure! He
must think a great Steal of her, 'Rich
gentlemen take those fancies eolne-
thnes."
y"What fancieer tteked Madam, }stern -
l.
"Footles of making }splendid presents
to young ladies they° know aren't Well
off, Madam," aid :SAW Trewhella, very
mildly, but tossing her head and triak-
irlg a contemptuous face in the depths
of the cedar -closet.
As true as that there never was a
nettle win) was it hero to his valet-de-
cham.bre, so true is it that the haught-
iest belle, the most brilliant leader of
fashionable society, never was, never
is, never Will be, a, heroine, wonderful,
adorable, -unattainable ,perfeet, to the
adroit perm -lege who knows that she
has a faehion of weariug 'her boots on
one side, that she is constantly °Pilots
ed with ehapped lips, that there are
some cunning pads about that charm-
ing figure, or that the tooth next her
left eye-tooth can be removed at evil',
Madam of Renieworthy Nita no ex-
ception to the rule. The only pereon
on earth who slighted Madam's words
and despised her pride ,eeeretly, who
sought opportunities to pay off af-
&ante or grievanees ottul who actually,
by dint of querulous, epiteful, deckles -
tions of her constant and unrequited
devotion to her IlitAtrosst by
deepeiring throats and by mango.
tation of heart brokertriees and wotnides.1
itstlingo under any provocation, had
Maintained an iteeerulaney greater than
any ono else over Mechem Vivian, WAS
her wititnig WOMan---Itlizabetb Trolv.
a Sea aa, I
Whenever you feel a headache corning on take
NANDRIJ-CO Headache Waters
They stop headacluse promptly and surely. Do not contain
opium, morphine, phenacetin, aeetanilld or other dangerous
drugs, 25o. box at your Druegletha le5
NATIONAL DNUtt AND ctIemicAL CO. QF CANADA, LIMITED,
tka,
WORD
BLINDNESS.
Verbal antipathies are common, Moat
of us hate tbe feel, so to speak, of certain
words--"vletuals," for instance. Is verb-
al astigmatism prevalent, too, we won-
der? We neyer know the difference be-
tween "oubiective" and "objective" and
we have a high respect for writers who
use those words Intelligently. "Ingenu-
ous" and "disingenuous" always puzzle
euisribteero.i-jeFtrraoopholititna. nP,m
. Adas in the Nov.
• sere-,
Putnam's Corn txtractor
Cured Letter -Carrier's Corn
Mr. -J. McGuire, of the Kingetort, bra.,
postoffice, *says: "I was almost crippled
with corns. They made me so laane and
sore I could seemly walk, .I used It
number, of remedies, but got no relief,
Vertunalely I tried Tutnam's Painless
Corn and Wart Extractor.' A. flew appla
cations perfectly cured my corns.
reeoonnerid 'Putnam's -Corn ]xtractor.'
Price 2.5e. at druggiets.
USELESS RESEARCH.
(Pittsburg Gazette -Times)
As a scientific research -Dr. Carrel's
exposition of double dissolution has its
fascinations and speculative interest, but
for plain folk, trying humbly to learn
haw to live Bo thatethey shall know how
to die, the ordinary general death that
separates soul from body, and holds out
the 01cl-fashioned hope of perfect rest
'and of immortality, Is good enough for
everyday use. Tissues and organs are of
minor consequence when the spirit has
fled, and it they have another death all
tahreeiroonetv? what matters it when- the lights
Int the CLEANEST, SIMPLEST, and BEST HOME
DYE, one can buy -Why you don't even have to
know what KIND of Cloth your Goods are made
of...So Mistakes are Impossible.
Send for Free Color Card, Story Booklet, and
Booklet giving results of Dyeing over other colors,
The JOHNSON-RICHA.RDSON CO., Limited,
Montreal. Canada,
ol•••=1•111•1•1•••••••••••00.11••••••••.....•••041,
war,
FO•11•4610•00..
TIRED OF HOME.
• The lawyer was eating at his desk ab-
sorbed in the preparation ota, brief, says
the New York Mail. -So bent was he on
bis work that he did not hear the door.
as it was pushed gently open, nor sec the
curly head that wa thT1113tinto his of-
f ieeeS: little sob attracted his notice a n' d
turning he saw a face that was streak-
ed with tears, and told plainly that his
feelings had been.hurt.
, My little man, did you want to
see me?"
"Are tyou a lawyer?"
-"Yes. nett do you want ?"
"1 Wane -Alla there was aresolute
ring in his voice -"I want a divorce
from my papa and mamma."
• "--T------4•-•••410.-*.
INFLAMMATORY RHEUMATISM
Conquered by GIN PILLS
Mr. W. G, Reid, ITeen Mtn, Ont., -mites:
"I have been for the last two years a
cripple with Muscular and Inflammatory
Rheumatism. I tried almost everything
known to medical science and sought
change of climate without relief. Your
manager in i his city recommended Gin
Pills and I have since taken eight boxes
and am now cured. I consider Gin
Pills the conqueror of Rheumatism and
Kidney Disease".
eoe. a box, 6 for p.p. Sample free
if you write National Drug and Cleemical
Co, of Canada, lehnitecl, Toronto. 132
..raffa-••••••••-•-•
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
A busy tongue is responsible for much
idle talk.
Faith in your own ability ie two-thirds
of the battle.
Mcst of the doormats with "Welcome"
on aro dirty liars.
The only noiselese typewriter yet dis-
covered le a deef-nutte.
Never put off till to -morrow the favor
you ean do us to -day.
Whena. girl screams on getillig kissed
it is ueually in a winsper.
Anyway, trouble never dodges up an
alley when a man is looking for it.
Do a friend a favor and he will think
hoe iit.sdoing you a favor in letting you
d
An egotist is a. man who believes that
if he were to hide his light under a
bushel the whole world would be in
darkness. --Chicago News.
Minard's Liniment .Cures Diphtheria.
• 4 •
. WHY JINGOES EXIST.
'(Toronto Star)
'rho Turks found their ammunition
boxes filled with soap, and many of their
cartridges were Menke. War Is a fine
sante for the grafter's. It is no wonder
tbat some of them. are continually try-
ing to inflame the great powers to eon-
flict.
• • •-•
ien't every man who tan ride &
hobby and succeed in sticking
III•1111011.1.0.11•Y
ft
44.14traaar'
PTIMPFIFIFFFP,OOFFIFF,F,F.
ANCIENT TRAVELER'S oUTFIT.
.A. Mall "Traveler's Guide," dated 1780,
contains a good deal of serious advice
as to the luggage which .sheuld be carried
"Take," /MY'S the book, "two suits of
clothes, one coffee colored and one blue;
a ehost flannel, a pair of leather breech-
es. a sleeping suit, three pairs of stock-
ings, two pairs of gloves, two wigs, one
hair bag (?), two caps, two hats, two
pairs f shoos, one pair of slippers, six
'undershirts' four 'oyez -shirts' six neck-
tiee, Nix collars, nix handkerchiefs, four
paire of cuffs, three cravats, two pairs
ot cotton hose and tt,v °pairs of -socks.
But this is not all, as is shown by the
following items: "Take a leible, a book of
sermons, a "Travelers' Guide,' two al-
bums, a. diary, a quire of white paper,
cantle and ink, an almanac, a mirror, a
silver watela a silver snuffbox, a silver
spoon, a pair of silver shoe bucklee, a
silver tie pin, three silver studs, a gole
ecal ring, a knife and fork with silver
bandies, a sewing ease, an opera, glass, a
compass, a wax light and a tinder box,
a toothbrush,. a silver toothpick, a sword,
a silver znounted earte, a padlock with
which tot fasten your door at night in-
eide. a clothes brush, a box of medicine,"
-Pall Mali Gazette.
49-4
THE POULTRY REVIEW
PUBLISHED MONTHLY
SUBSCRIPTION . . $1.00 PER YEAR
Brimming over with useful Information
for beginners and old hands. Makes a
very acceptable and instructive Christ-
mas gift. SAMPLE COPY TJPON BE-
QUEST.
HERBERT HALL, 405 Mary St., Hamilton, Ont.
•• •
A BUSY WOMAN'S THOUGHTS.
Character is indicated by tbe amuse-
ments indulged in.
Women throw away thne and bealth ln
pursuing a thing they won't want when
they get it.
Bea! Bea: mocks Black Sheer),
Catch me, Grundy, if you can.
A selfless man is the noblest worlc of
God.
Mothers of prodigies should be seen and
not heard.
Tine is the Instalment, Vaudeville Age
and the Dance is on.
A man who will "do the dishes" for a
tired wife -his own wife-ls some hus-
band.
••••••••••••••••••••
,. Women who "cannot walk to church"
can run to a "sale."
To see a millionaire drinking buttermilk
is a wholesome sight.
Here is variety.
It may be tiny
It may be immenee.
One passes from shoulder to shoulder.
Siener lawn is among the very good
styles.
PILES CURED
AT HOME
By New Absorption Method
If you suffer from bleeding, itching,
blind or protruding piles, send me your
address and 1 will tell you how to cure
yourself at home by the new absorption
treatment, and will also send sorne of
this home treatment free for trial, with
references from your own locality if re-
quested. Insenediate relief and perman-
ent cure assured. Send no money but
tell others of this offer. Write to -day
to' Mrs. L, Summers, Box P. 8, 'etrindeor,
Ont.
A BUSY WOMAN'S THOUGHTS.
Friendship that Is earn of woe is ster-
ling.
Moral eltidders usually plume them-
selves upon going "straight."
Professional peacemakers often precip-
itate unholy rows.
Moderns kill 'time which they have
worked like •Troganst to sane.
Friendehip t0. the average AVOnlan means
a. sort of cornhination safety valve.
The emergency brain depends upon its
own well stocked cells for supplies.
Cloth and silk manufacturers grow hot
every time a narrow skirt is mentioned.
"Frenzied finance" is oftenest seen
where incomes and expenses war.
One vice is accounted beyond a hund-
red virtues in this world.
"Father" is 'never as hn.portant as
"mother" until the piper knocks.
LETTERS FROM MOTHERS
Every day we have letters from thank-
ful mothers tViiillt); 11,,, what Baby't; Own
Tablets have done for their little ones.
Some praise them for constipation,
others for teething troubles, and
other e for vomiti,ie. indigestion and the
D1511 y ether ilk of hileyholel and ehild-
hood. We have reeeived thotesan 'e of
letters -all ss:ving prairee Mrs. \
Crowe, Midland, Ont., says: "T think
very highly of Ilalec'e n Tab! te.
gave thou to my baby when tr !,tbled
with conetipation, and they help- 1. her
so much I always keep them "I the
house and now 116'h no other en....l'ehte."
The Tabletare Aoki by inerlieine dealere
pr by man at 21c a box front The Dr,
Williams' Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont,
THE PARENTS' FAULT.
(Stratfoed Beacon)
.A. statement made by (Thief Justiee
Russell of the court of special sessions,
New Yqrk city, 'that three-quarters of
all the cases that (Towel the calendare
of the children's courts in New York aro
the result of improper guardianship, is
worthy of attention. It is no doubt true
of other places as well. Children will oc-
casionally go astray no nuttter how
careful parents may be in their training,
but these are the exceptions, while those
children who are not properly trained
almost invariably go astray.
Take A Handful Of
"St. Lawrence" Sugar
Out To The Store Door
• -out where the light can
fall ott it -and see the
brilliant, diamond -like
sparkle the pure white
color, of every grain.
That's the way to test
any sugar - that's the
*way we hope you will test
ompare It swpar'
"th any other sugar -r -compare its pure, white
grain-ite matchless sweetness.
Better still, get a 20 pound Or 100 pound bag at your grocer's and
test "SL Lawrence Stave hi your home.
ILAWIltENCE SVGA* ItetThlatilatil 1.1114ITED, MONT1tEAL.
67.S.
RANGERS' 1101JSES
To be Built on. Many of the
Reserves.
In order to proteet and administer
the Dominion forest reserves to the best
advantage, they are being subdivided
into ranger distriets and houses are
being built at strategie points for the
use of the rangers in eharge. The first
of each houses to be occupied on the
Duck Mountain forest reserve is locat-
ed at Madge Lake, a few miles from
Konse,ck, 8a6k."
Madge Lake is a beautiful, island -
studded sheet of water, covering seven
square miles, Ana this ranger -dwelling is
Picturesquely placed on its south shore.
It is a eomfortable house, well 'planned
and well, lighted, containing living rooms
as well As office. It wila be painted a
dark green with white trimmings.
The trail fromit this ranger station to
Kamsack evil' next year be widened and
otherwise improved. This will benefit
the ranger, convenienoe the publie who
have forest business to transact, and
induce an inereaeino number of people
to enjoy the many delights of a, summer
outing at Madge Lake.
The ranger at thie station. has direct
charge of some two hundred and thiry
square miles of highly valuable, young
second -growth spruce and poplar forest,
and his central object and work will be
to safeguard. it from fire by every pos-
sible means, so that in two or three
decades it may yield welcome and abun-
dant supplies of fuee and lumber to the
dwellers on the prairies. -Department of
the Interior, Forestry Branch.
A Successful Treatment
Mrs. Edward Kennedy, of Meriden,
Conn,. 40 years old, was advised by her
Physician to try Dr. Martell's Female
Pills, she did so with wonderful results.
Thousands of others would say the same.
20 years the standard, at your Druggist.
NO MALTESE CATS IN MALTA.
James Oliver Laing, American consul
at Malta, informs the state department
that many Americans have asked him to
give names of breeders of pure mood
maltese terriers and cane He says there
are a few so-called maltese terriers in
Malta and they are not of pure blood.
The puppies which the street hawaers
offer for sale to tourists are more or
lase mongrel, with a strain of the old
breed. Maltese cats do not exist in Mal-
ta, at least, not one of the color called
maltese in the United States has been
seen there.
ow.......••••••••.0.4111.11111:marrarmartama
Minard's Liniment Cures Garget In
Cows.
• •
LITTLE -FASHIONS.
All sorts of odd effects In ostrich
novelties are being made for hat
trimmings, including wings, buckles,
feather dusters, shaving brushee,
tree, fringes, etc.
Two -toned effects in plumes are
popular for the larger hat shapes.
A new belt is a eombluation of
.black patent leather and white kid.
The buckle and clasps are of dull
gold.
Full leagth knitted coatt of worsted
with a varicolored border and knit-
ted cap to match are popular cold
weather outfits.
The richness of many of the new
afternoon and evening dresses is ofs
ten a clever touch of embroidery
which may be done at home.
There was probably never a time
when all sorts of fancy neckwear had
more to do with dress than _now. It
may be made out of lace, net, ribbon,
11.••••••••=e••••••••••••=1,00.0••••••••••••••••••••YPO•01111Wiltilleallik•I,
We believe MINARDS LIN'IMNTE is
the beet:
Mathias Foley, Oil City, Ont.
Joseph Snow, 'Norway, Me.
Charles Whooten, Mulgrave, N. S.
Rev. R. 0. Armstrong, Mulgrave, N. S.
Pierre Landers, cert., Pokemonehe,
N. 13.
Thomas Wasson, Sheffield, N. B.
LITTLE STORIES.
A farmer's wife who had no Very ro-
mantic ideas about the opposite sex, and
who, hurrying from churn to sink, from
sink to shed. and back to the kitchen
stove, was asked if site wanted to vote.
"Ne, 1 certainly don't:" she said, "I
say if there's one thing them men folks
can do alone, for goodnesseeakes let 'ere
do It:"
"What were you and *Mr. StlItti talk-
ing about in the parlor?" it $koki her moth-
er.
"Ole e were diecuesing our kith aztd
kin." replied tlie young lady.
The mother looked dubiously at her
daughter, whereepon her little brother,
wishing to help his sister .sald:
"Yeti' they neth, mother. I heard 'em.
Arr. Thmith athked her for a kith and
the timid; 'You kin!' "
Two yoeng women entered a street ear
anti ofoundoonnwtogetasetlt.
standing roort1., sow one
to her companion, "now you see,'
Select ee a seclate looking man She walk-
e(1":Ali111). tdoeabrimiir. Green!" site exelahneti,
"how delighted I am to meet you! You
are alinoet a stranger. Will I accept
seat? Well I do tel tired, I admit. Thank
Y0uT,,shiet8 0(111ellanelt,11:1,1r1 e my girl," he said as
he courteously pointed to the vacant
seati.iin;Ddgt You must flo.fotenseeyoufeel toitrtted,on
wri8i.
nm
suir3e.ut tho's
ewyou'ontgtr \/‘1.1(l,Sntil'aenS ith"ertemy fled
train l.,?r seat and got off at the next
snr.rd` Liniment 'Cures Colds, Etc.
MTier.
es.
DON'T NEGLECT SORE THROAT.
Dust, dana(npyne'sk's,P:11iypslit'etlitatirli)a end other
germs are the cilia causes of sore
throat
(tid.et ehilIing
of bare feet, coddling,
mouth -breathing, over.erowded and over-
heated dwellings and impure air some-
times Serve as the first, wedge.
Sore thinat in young or old
should not be negleete41. ,The first and
best principle of treating it is `not to
ig :St 8 sleperPeintglirto7611% healthy itauit 8
Avoid contact with people whom you
arld
know to have sore throat.
Keep plenty of fresh air iti your liv-
ing
not often serious maces it frequently
recurs.
Sore throat among children shouhl al.
ways be a matter of immediate and ser-
ious 'consideration; beelitlee
They "catch" it more easily,
figTaihneayt ci,atnnot be depended on to guard
Some are too young and others don't
know enough to complain about it,
is more often diphtheric.
Their resistanet to disease is not as
great as that of a grown upersoti.
The safest thing to do, if the 604
lima tore throat Is to (Ili in a pet -
It might not bo etrions, hut it Isn't
Sae to, 04 chanc04,
ISSUE NO. 4
H WANTIM
nA231NICT AND O''11
em' hand wanted; mon used to furni-
ture work. Newbigging Cabinet
livalltott, Ont.
-r,--raanr.r.aramir,
NVANT4D--.1,1XPlatIEVO4D
inillor for (0.narral niiU illguss‘
wages paid, permanent employment.
Write $. N. Tlanks, Bristol, N. 13., stet -
Jug salary.
FP
A TRAVELIZIt CALLING ON
• sehoole wanted, to banal() our itoeue
Leaf School Books, as side line 'rhe
Chas. Chapman Co„ London, Ont.
I -0;W A1'PI1ENTICE WA.NTED-MUST
-11., be sharp and of. good appearance;
matriculation necessary to qualify.A.
11. G-riffis & Co„ The Itexall Store, Fort
I..+Tserea•
D Ii1PRESENTATIVE WANTED IN
every town to sell the Mandolin Ilarp
easY to play, big money for hustlers.
Plano -Harp Company, 2410 College street,
Toronto.
AGENTS WANTED,
AGENTS WANTED IN EVERY
21- town to sell the .A.lca Junior Vacuurn
Cleaner; retails for OS; rapid seller; big
commission. A. 11111s,.1,030 College street,
Toronto.
1•10111•••.04.1•0•••••••••••■••••••
4finammal
FOR SALE.
Mraara.aaaaakaaraa.......r.aWmaaaaw....waoaearaa".
A aVilil.E020A1\T MI*
ova liard tables manufactured by the
the Brunswiek-Balice-Collender Co., et
Canada., Limited; fitted with Monarelt
cushions; eused in the best billiard rooms
and clube In Canada); bowling alleys and
hotel fixturep. THE BRUNSWICK-
"BA.LKE-COMENDER, CO., Ole CANA.-
DA, Limited, 07-71 Adelaide Street west,
Totonto. Please mention this paper.
HORTAGE- OF AN'PHRACITE. COAL
0 is creating a, big demand for Hard
Coke, We have it in Egg, Stove and
Chestnut sizes: It is first class for fur-
nace and cooking range. Delivered in
ear lots to all stations In Ontario, For
Price apply, to THOS. MYLES' SONS,
LIMITED, Harnilton, Ont,
fIROCERY FOR SALE IN Liv4 WEST-
'..- e ern Ontario town of five thousand;
expenses light. APplY A. K. Cressznan,
Waterloo, -Ont.
TOR SALE -POWER HAY PRESS, De
▪ ton capacity, bale 17 by 22. Columbia,
good as new. 3, W. Diclteon, Dundas,
Ont.
CA.STI REGISTER—SIX-DRAWER—
good as new; e--eap, $800; Regal Shoe
Store, 110 Yonge street, Toronto, Ont. .
ereARMS-152 acres, two miles from Eko-
ba, second station from Sault Ste.
Marie, 5 acres cleared, house barn, stable
splendid soil. Apply ,J, Burilaehtten, Crew -
sons Corner, Ont.
MISCELLANEOUS.
ararlaaIatta...../...,,,•%•••••••••••••••Vararak~...........,.....^~%."•••••••••••.•
eFR(4 HOTEL
KEEPERS AND
F. l:el-
• ". •
°there requiring help; write to the
Farm & Domestic Employment Agency,
140 Victoria St., Toronto, Ont.
4
ri
ONSERVATIVE INVESTOR.; "NOM,
Can buy Agreements of Sale 'off me
on Edmonton property netting 15 to 25570
yearly and security absolutely safe.
James L. Elam, Edmonton, Alta. .
pARTNER WANTED WITH TWO
thousand (ash for old established
contracting business; vompletc outfit;
present owner getting old; Apply A.
Cressman, Waterloo, Ont.
WRIST WATCH FREE
.A.beautiful small size LADIES' WA.TOR in
handsome LEATHER BRACELET given
FREE for selling. only $4.50 worth of the loyal'.
est Christmas and New Year Cards and Folding
Booklets at 3 forl5c. These are the very latest
and most exclusive designs. Embossed and
lithographed in all the natural colors. Appro-
priate mottoes and verses.
You just show them and take the money!
Many of our agents sell a dozen packages in
one house. Don't MISS this wonderful chance.
Write to -day. -You raay not see this advertise-
ment again. COBALT GOLD PEN CO.,
tent 200„ Torortto.pnt.
THAT CHEERING RECORD
(Rochester Times)
It seems marvelous that supposedly in-
telligent men and women should sit in
a. hall and howl steadily for over an
hour, and even more marvelous that any-
one should feel that such an exhibition
of foolishness strengthened a candidate
Politically. Or course, by hiring a few
score strong -lunged individuals arrange-
nients could be made to keep the cheering
up two, three er eight hours, or even,
by working in shift, two, four or sight
weeks. This would be no more ridiculous
and just as expressive of publictsenti-
anent as the present method.
Slat Headaches
are not caust_s.i by anything wrong in
the head, but by constipation, bilious-
ness and indigestion. Headache
powders or tablets may deaden, but
cannot cure them. Dr. Morse's
Indian Root Pills do cure sick head-
ache in the seasible way by removing
the constipation or sick stomach
which caused them. , Dr. Morse's
Indian Root Pills are purely vege-
table, free from any harmful drug,
safe and sure. When you feel the
headache coming take
Dr. Morse's "
Indian Root Pills
DENATURED SPELLING.
(Rochester Post -Express)
For one good thing at least -and let us
hope for many more -we shall be able
to give our next president high praise
nnd hearty thanks. As far as his precede
rnd- his preferences are controlling, we
rhnitlmavo no more of the Carnegie spell -
'int deform in public documents. Gover-
nor WIlsni is too scholarly and too re-
fined and correct in his diction not to
fInd such orthographical atrocities dis-
14steful and shocking,
Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper,.
THE POOL ROOM
(Ottawa .verting Journals
It might be argued that both pool roOhls
and saloons have their places in the
centre of the eity. There there is always
a disposition to eater to all the elements
itt a connnunity, but a growing„ health-
clenit residential seotion of the city
has na need of either eete.blisliment.
4-e •
Before beginning to sternp out an
evil the eeformer fillOUldn't forget to
;11103
wipe his feet.