The URL can be used to link to this page

Home My WebLink AboutThe Wingham Advance, 1912-08-29, Page 6WOULD RATHER HAVE NONE. (judge's Library) It is herd to convince a man suffering' in the cola gray dawn of the luorning after that two headS aro better than one. A HINT. (New Orleans Timee-Democrat.) Mites. Voeolo--.I'm never happy mikes lau breaking into- song . ieright Young Man -Why 1oift you get the key anti you won't have to break in? -4 A BIASED ENTHUSIASM. (Washington Star) "What makes you so eine, that our ean- dictate Neill be eleceed?" 111hi.1- feet," replied thee vandal cam- paigner, "that I will lose the ereeneei a good ituation le it lift." t: UNKNOWN QUANTITY. (Judge) ICnieker-lel your boy at the had toot ot his Mass? Boeher-eile's liko champagne -will to either. JUST THE TROUBLE. (Plelladiphia Star) "Don't worry about the future," says the. Cincinnati Enquirer man, "we'll 1111 get, just what's coming to us." And still ho asks us not to worry. or 81) EXPLAINED. (Dartmouth Jack-O'Lantern) "'Wasn't the fellow who jumped from, the *window hurt?" "Oh, no. He struck on his head." "On his head, but----" "Weil, he had on a, soft hat." : THE PATIENT EXPLORER. (Louisevine Courier-Sournal) "That fly munt be the hoes explorer of his tribe." *why?. . "There was .only one hole he that net- ting, but ha finally towel it." TAKING NO CHANCES. (Satire) "Heavenzi" shrieked the heroine, "I am undone!' "Come away, John," remarked the lady front th•e country as she arose. "f ain't going to let you watch any disrobire act." 4 .= CAUSE AND EFFECT. (Satire) Ginee-TheY say his divorced wife bled -him terzebly, Perree-He certainly looks cut up. I 4 A DOG -DAY JOKE. (Ottawa Free Press) A Brooklyn man who was bitten by a pickerel wants to know if fish can have hydrophobia. Not unless it's a dogfish, we should e>ay. HOW UNREASONABLE:. (Kansas City Journal) "What's your missue kicking about?" inquired the housemaid next door. "This her night out, but I told her I had an engagement meself." i 7 I NO CRITERION. (Judge's Library) Tommy -4 don't think Aunty will stay long; she didn't bring her trunk. Johnny-Huhi Look how long the baby stayed, and he didn't bring anything! e TIT FOR TAT. (Chicago News.) To the slogan "Socks for women!" we defiantly shout back "Shirt walks for men!" 1 I$ WON'T GET PINCHED. (Erie Herald.) Remember, as beauty's fair exponent might say, one way to have a pretty nose ie to keep it out of other people's biteiness. WHY? (Judge.) Son -Papa, why did they call them rub- berneck wagons? Father - Because everybody stares at the people in them, my Iboy . 4-4-4 LAGGING BEHIND. (Kansas City Journal.) "Did you see that double play in the last inning?" "No; I had a girl with me, and was till busy explaining the first inning." UNAPPRECIATED REWARDS. (New 'Orleans Times -Democrat.) Mother -The teacher complains you have not had a correct lesson for a month; why le it? Son -She always kisses me when I get them right. Wee EASY! ((1harleston, S. 0., State.) Bet we know which key in the colonel's typewriter neede repairing most. -4 _ I I N SU LT ED. (Judge.) Visitor -Never say die! Boston Boy -I commonly lefer to Ihe diseolution of the vital foreee. e THEY ARE WISE. (Judge.) Even the manufacturers of the new- est inenbatore will not, advise US to count our chickens before they're hatch- ed. RIGHT UP TO DATE. (Satire.) "Dots he make love nicely " asked the Sentimental Girl. "Yon bet he doe.s," replied her friend. "Why, he kisses in Turkey Trot titne." ann A CHANGE OF CAREER. (Chicago -Recotd-IIerald) "Why have you given up the idea of going in for a professional career?" ask- er her friend. "Because I have met a perfectly splen- did man who thinks I would be a lovely ornament to a bungalo that he has his eyo on." WITH THE LID OFF. (Harper's Bazar.) "Mother," asked Bob, with a, hopeful •eye on the peppermint jar. "have I been a good boy this afternoon?" "Mem-yes," answered inother, dubioes- recalling a certain Melo rift within the lute The four-yearond diplomat looked anxious. "Please," he begged, "say a wide-open yes!" allweare.00• perwarwera WISE HUBBY. (Louisville Courier Journal.) "Hubby, we must give a reception." "It will coat to much." "Oh, AO. I ean rent eome plants tied Seirtle dishes and some palms." "But you can't rent the sandwiches and the ice cream," A soFT THING. (Houston n(t) tie went isut int.) the o reels lee, b ieeelt end. /t mom be hie beef! 1:: t his weak end if iie 011080. to ,41 to the Wo011s 111 eireferenee to going to the hay ehote. SURE TEST. tWasbington Start "My dalagliter says1 have for tousle." "Whet dnee shonieun by that?" "I don't know eXitetty, 1am afraid elle retere to tee 'fact that I tea listen to SOTne of the things sae pleye without get- ting' the earaelle." gooel Par aloe , ee me"- , 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111118111111111111111111111111111111 ,11, • THE DEAREST GIRL IN THE WORLD imummummuilliumuniumunummummnimium ".hu anceetrese of yours, La,dy Billies, won inurdered in that lecel-minelered by tier btitler, a Malt nalned leiorneeu Rees. tihe had colleeted, or had in her posses. Sion, a large sane of money, and looked it in her ,jetvel CAS° end went yet in the grounde to take a, walk, That walk that eirelee about beneath those trees Is called called Lady Billies' walk, She e ;ntered her room, and, piecing the keys under her pillow, retired, While she 1tas in the grounds, her baler* NOT...Man fteee, coneealed himeelf beneath the bed luet here, And when he thought she had fti.Alett aaleee he tried to eteal the keye of the jewel -ease. Lady Billies heard him, and tarok° out, and he eut Iter throat with a, ease -knife. She lived three :lays and died, crying, "Save Norman, ?oor misguided boy!' The 'butler, realeing what he liad done, jumped irom this window, which is barely four feet high, and broke hie leg. He thereupon Drawled. under the shadow of the old ;tone fence there, near the old well, and lay there until he wile almost dead from thirst, and he wae found tit the old well trying to get water, lie begged to be !lung, .and he was hanged half way be- tween Leith and Edinburgh in May, .17--. I know the family history very well, don't 12" Lord Wedderburn felt oomplintented 'lad pleased, Theee old faots were stamp - 0d on his memory sinee childhood, and It pleaeed him to think a stranger Wad interested in them. "You do, indeed, and I thank you for your interest," was all the reply he :-ould make. They had to go now to knother pare of the old house. It was a anall tower room and in it they found t queer old. bookease, on the glans of which was an inscription In Latin and lite name Patrick Home 17--, They tlimbed another flight e:f staire, the steps of which were dangeroue and rokern eavay. They climbed the stales to another storey of the gloomy old eouse,, tare they stew two small rooms, tn one there Was a small fireplace, the hearth being eove/pea with old, smoul- lery ashes. Thie room had been Nor- man, Rose' bedchamber. In this room had eonceived the terrible deed that Se had oommitted. There were tesees of his writings on the walls, and the wooden pegs upon which he had hung Sia clothing. Miss efeRay shuddered ind followed Lord Wedderburn down the broken stainstepe, "It's a mot uncanny olcf'plaoe," she 1 -aid, when they had reetalted the great trehed front doorway, and seated them - levee en the stone stepo to rest before ttarting homeward. "Tudeed is-ssuoh & monannent of s'•oketa hearts§ and lives," he said, think- tig Qf lele own ease. "You,belleve, then., in broken hettrts?" the asked. 'I believe as we have hearts, bhey nay be broken," he 'said. "I do, also. From the depths of my keart I pity people that have had heart Iroubles---I mean those whose hearers taw been wrung by their great leve, proteot me from stadia a fate." "Alston answer, most sincerely," he laid, andthere was a quiver in his voice. "I woader if it plosetble to go through We without having heart - ch' she eald. "I do not think it le," he said. "1 have had few, or none, thus far," the said. "Peehaps It is not time yet. They nay come," he said. "I have been frank with you, now eon - He in me ire well. Tell me, has your teart been broken? 1 ane sure it has, !or awl e (kelt:led change has corn° over iou in a taw Ttears. Confide in me." , "Then I well tell you that nay heart s brokeo. That I have euffered with leart-aohes, you have seen. 1 sometimee think my heart is dead and past reeall, Do you think such a thing is possible?" "I do not. I am sare there will be 1. time when some one will reoall life and tope and love. It mew not. be now, but f fay in time it will come." "How eau that be (lone?" he asked. "You will see some one that will twaken you. Perhaps you will marry pine good woman, and from the old lead. love will spring up a new and iendor one." "Is there a good woman living that would accept emit a love as 1 might Iffeer he asked. She nate not thinking of herself at MI. "t think there is, yes. It would de. }end. on airctuneitetnees," she field, equivo- tally. "Then let me state a siran.ge ease." Mere was a quiver on his lips and. palatally in Me eyes that ealled, put all seempattty at once. "What 1Say to you it in confidence. It lays Uwe a vounde4 hetert, and 11neve a reason. for hying that heart bare to you. A young 4411,1m -ring grown careless from eontaet vith the world, is called out one night to the death -bed of an old friend. That Id friend, knowing that he must die a. few houre, and leave a, little foster Lila alone and. unproteeted, having no iith or leln to send her to asks the toung man to marry the child. It is a reird goatte-the dying mina= pleading, he ihild crying, etc., et, The young hen comments, and in a few minutes a laan in attendance pronounces them man Ind wife. The young man is called away, txpecting to be back in a day or two, tad make every preparation for the luture of hie wife. He return e in a &ore time, and the man and child tave disappeared as surely as if the grave olosed over them, In 'set, there was a railway accidents Ind g, young woman answering the leseription was found amonk the killed. that has been five years, and no track° if either has been found., despite the twat unrelenting reeeareli." When Lord Wedderburn looked up, ier fate Was white, hard and met. "Then you are married?" site gasped. "If that was a marriage," he said. 'There was no proof that the man had he right to marry anyea4; seed, besides, there is every reason to believe that loath hae claimed him," Her heart had gone out in tenderest eve for this man, and it was beyond It had indeed some her time ,0 have heartaches, but his words held tome eoinfort. She heard the quiver ih ds voice and saw the silver in his hahe Ind a greet pity arose in her heart for tine "Would anyone there such a blighted Ste as that? If they did so, would It tot he sympathy that actuated them? I can not think there le earthly heIp n eech a ease, do you " He forgot for he time being that he spoke of Itinitelf. "I think there is. Very few people )Very marry their first love, and per - laps it le 11/611 they do not. Perhaps te calm love that comes after is best. 'tome, rny lord, is a pitieble ettee. Be- ttye ine, I deeply sympathize with on. et fact, my heart aches tor von." She put her hand wesealy aerose het eyes, and he saw the tear drove foil. He brushed them away gently. "It was to pen that 1 wished to offer Buell a poor offering. A broken heart and. a, broken life. Love is dead. within me, but a life of devotion I can offer." qt is a Sati ease," ate said, "We will talk no snore of It now," and they arose and walked slowly back to Castle Royal. Lady Alicia saw them front her window and her heart gave a great bound of pleasure. She knew she had gained her wish, "Have you nothing to say to me?" he asked, as he left her at the entrance. ".Nothing more, I think, than that you will make every investieation in your power. I ean share a dead love, but not a living one," She turned abruptly away from. him. There was a terrible conflict now between her love and her- self, Lord Wedderburn watched lier in pity. He knew that the offer he had made was such a poor one, and that she' loved him, She had told him to make every offing; to investiette for !ter sake and bis, and he determined to do so. The breakfast bellrang as they enter- ed the hallway, and it was only the work of a few minute m to make them- selves presentable. Miss Maul's face Was .exceedingly pale. She heard little or none of the bright conversation around her. Lord Welderburnht !Are was a strange mixture of sorrow and eontentenent. He felt he had aeted fair- ly. He told. her he had no love to offer her, yet he must marry, aid he had chosen to offer a life's devotion to her. The great sorrow was for the past, He never forgot Dorothy for a moment. When she died his heart died. When he thought of her a strange feeling came ever him. It seemed of late that Doro- thy was alwaye was always near him. He never for one moment forgot her, At the breakfast table the gueete were talking gaily of the drive to the ruins, The were to vieit old Bunco Castle, and. many weird legends hung over those old, decayed ruins. It was decided that all should go, but Lord Wedderburn did not feel like go- ing. He felt as if he had proven false to Dorothy, and this thought made him miserable. Yet he had to go with his guests. All that day he found no op- portunity of being alone with Miss Me - Ray. He took her arra within his, and walked over the mine. He assisted her gently over the broken walls. Tender- ness was displayed in his every act, but he could not shake off the feeling that he was acting a traitor to his Dorothy. He had one eomfort: Miss Mellay had told him to investigate, and while he was investigating he would remain true to her. The day was spent pleasantly by all but Miss McRay and Lord Wedderburn. Neither of them was happy. When they returned in the evening Lord. Wedderburn was almost Ill. Miss Malay repaired at onee to her own apartment and remained there. Lord Wedclerburn did not join the guests at dinner, He pleaded a headache and was excused. After the dinner was over and the guests were assembled iu the great elraveing room, Lord Wedderburn heard tbe laughter from below. He could not think, save of Dorothy and his unfaith- fulness to her. He opened the window and stepped outside on a balcony. The moon shone bright and clear; old Lenthill lay over in the distance, Loed Weddenburn made up his mind to walk over there. To- night he must bury all thought of Doro- thy. Be walked down the pathway. Once he thought he saw a shadow fall across his path, but he saw no one. He felt nervothe and sad, but he walked on. II? had that peculiar sensation of not being alone. He attributed this, also, to his state of mind. He reached the doorway, and sat down on the step, He eat there that night and waited until Dorothy oame to him. A figure sprang from behind a marble coluinn and it ieright steel blade flashed in the moon- light. Lord Wedderburn grasped his assailant's hand, knocked he knife in the air, and threw his assailant on the ground. 'Searcyl mercy!" cried the assassin. "Why lehould I show you any mercy, you reptile, yi1.0" WA Lord Weddsr- burn. "Mervl mercy!' was all he could cry. "Yon are a bungling murderer," said Lord Wedderieurn, contemptuously, "and I wonder you over had the courage to attempt meh a, thing. Who are you, and why have yOu, for the second thne, tried to do me harm?" "I tun an Italian, and leranz Marotti ,is my name," he replied. "You have not tom me why you seek .ray life," staid Lord Wedderburn, "Perhaps it was for some one else," said the wild would-be murderer. Lord Wedderburn understood it had been a =Wake. "Do you know I ought not to hear ytiate cry for mercy?" asked Lord Wed- derburn. "I realized it, my lord." "Then go; and remember, if you ard ever tempted to do this again, that it Is only through my generosity you are allowed to go forth free." The Italian arose from the ground and moved off. Lord Wedderburn drew the dagger from his coat, where it had penetrated, having barely received a fleeh wound, and. put the dagger in hit coat potket. He picked up0 letter that lay beside alixo end put It in his pocket, The Man had lost it. He oat down onee more to his thoughts. He felt that the man had one no, ainee finding out his mistake, e jay' hie head on his hands and sob- bed; It, wae farewell to Dorothy. When he arrived home he remember- ed the letter and da.gger. He placed it him on the table, and admired its keen blade, and jeweled handle. It was of foreign make. He took out the letter, opened it, aud reed: "Dear Nephew: I enelotie you ----- pounds, eufficient for your journey to Removal)* 'to make sure what you do. Itemeraber how ennel is depending on your steady hand, and we will do as I wad, sod yon must ad- mit it is a very generous offer. Let inc heer at mice how yott Wive ovteneedee as promised, °Martha Weston Home," There was nothing in tine letter thai partieulaely proved thee, the Weston .1-Ionace hed hired this man to attempt to take hit life, yet Lord Weddenburn felt that it was true. Ile had never seen this Italian 'Were, end why he shoula 'seek his death, he eould 3101. tell. His death woold, only benefit one fain - fly, and that wet the 'Weston llohnes. Mother Was right, then, when Ithe Said that the first attempt would not be the lento Olt had elearly ,proven to Lord Weddetbuss, that his life wao daaggar ancl thafte sifould marry, and settle the /natter at once, end present further treuble. When he re-entered the houses he found SOIne :letter% await. inglum, Ono artte from his esolleitOre tieleing him to canto to town. As he started, he saw Mies Matey standing , at art open window, "What can I do for you in town to -day?" he aeked tender. lee Be eould not give her love„ but be could ehow her the tenderest respect, "Nothing, thank you, uniese it J. to. make yourself tte happy as posed:We." she said, wIth a smile. "1 iteked what I ituuld do for your he eitid. "not will plemeente, but if you wieh to do more to make me happy, you may investigate the matter we spoke of. nhall be happy to know you are happy," she said. He felt more kindly towanie her than ever. She felt that they now perfectly understood. each other. He made no pretense of love, yet he could give her tender devotien. She loved him, and it Wm a noble ealfeoterlfseing love, iie had trusted her with We heart's /secret, and she would respeot It. AS deyOte417 as site loved hint, she wlehed that hit might use every eexrtion to know tixi, past betore they teretered the ruteure, She built no Impel as yet. Lord Wed, derburn honored Rocl respeeted. her, He knew that her love was pure and un- selfish ,and that fate had been most un- kind to him in thus forcing him to -be compeled to offer marriage to so true a woman, when he could not offer her the love that she was worthy of, and it was doubly unkind to her in forcing her to give leo much for so little in return. teHAPTER X. Lord Wedderburn took a eab trom the 'station, and went at onee to the of - flee of his solicitors. "So glad you come, was just going to write you again. I do not know as yet that we have any reason to con- nect things, but a very strange thing has called our attention. There is it lunatic in the W------- asylum that per- reisteney calls Wedderburn et.II the time. "Dr, Sprague called on me and ed me to try an experiment on the man. If he happens to know you and remem- bers you, that will decide a great point as to his being cured. I thought to ask you to aercompany me and see the man, that you may tell us if you ever saw him before, My idea Is that he has in some way heard the name, and it is simply one of those strange whims to whieth demented persons are addicted." "I eertainly think so, ate I can think Q1' no one now," said Lord Wedderlearn. The W- asylum was situated in tlarve. eiourtakirts of the eety and. wee a long d "1 was desirous of seeing you on an- other matter, also, Do you remember the most important matter you en- trusted us with! Well, we have had am- ple time to think it all over and have decided that you have no proof that tile marriage was solemnized legally. In other words, that the mall was a minis- ter or a person having the right to perform the ceremony of marriage. We have no proof that the lady is (lead, yet the circumstances are more than favorable to that belief. Now We Wtie not decided when we spoke to you need now we have decided that while this is true, the evidence is almost nothing; and on the other band we have no proof that the man was not a mini.a- ter, or person having the power 'to per- form the marriage ceremony, and we have no proof that ye= wife is not liv`liNug.oe'i', you eennot swear positively that the body you eaw was that of your wife. In fact, I am told you held Serious doubts, The leaturee had chang- ed -the hair was darker. Death may have changed the features, but I doubt it in regard to the hair. In fact, I doubt both. The clothing was entire- ly different. Now, if I understand mat- ters clearly, your housekeeper made the garments she wore. She left Castle Roy- al to take the ill-fated train. It is not at all likely nor probable that she could Or did change her clothing, and your housekeeper positively assorts that it was not at all the same material, color, nor ma-ke, Slide 1 believe, are the facts in the case, Now, on the strength of these doubts until they are clearly re- moved, you are a married mitu, and can not safely enter into another mar - adage, It is a moot unfortunate eitua- tion, my lord, and I sympathize with you, lint it cannot, be helped. Before you can re -marry, with safety, there will have to be an action brought to have that marriage annulled." Lord Wedderburn was stricken with remorse, He had now almost compeo- mised his honor, He had placed himself and the lady in a most unfortunate :position, but a hope crept, into his mind. Miss MeRa.y had clearly under- stood the case, and 'had told him to inveetigate-he was ,sure of her fHente• ship. "I cannot help but think that the lady will turn up most unexpectedly at some future time," said Mr. Miller as they drove up the entrance to the asylum. Dr. Sprague 'welcomed them heartily, "Pardon the trouble I have given you my Lord, but we wished to make an ex - pertinent, in the interest of scienee, you know, The physician led the way into a, small reception room. Then the trio were ushered into the hall where the patient was. "My God! it's Boughma,n," said Lord Wedderburn. "You know him -thane said the soli- citor. Lord Wedderburn shook as with a chill. Here was a ghost of the past aris- en before him, "Do not &low the least agitation; go quietly up to him and shake hands with him aa if there was nothing wrong." Lord Wedderburn did so, while the two teen stood aside and watched. "How do you do, Boughman?" said Lord Wederburn, extending hie hand. The man looked at him steadily as he gave his hand, but there was not the least sign of recognition. "Do you not remember me, Bough - man?" aelsed Lord, Wedderburn. There was .only the stare, but no sign of re- cognitiole yet, saw you at tentlaillanan't you re- member anything of Dame Wynter asked Lod Wedderburn. "Dame Wynter?" he repeated vaealle ly--"let no pray," he eaid, and fell on his knees and preyed. "He has been a minister of the gospel," said the phe- eiolen, "I am quite sure Of OW:, for l'at'e heard him preach as finecur- 1116WrIlgteltnA 111e ill'aedr ifilenairsti.' e:1 his prayer, nod they found they could recall nothing to11etaltili6ug iYi e1ny own viewe stemee- ly," Bald Dr, Sprague. "I intend to rtr- form an operation on him, examine the brain, and 1 ant sure 1 shall effect it • Cure -it is a eimple matter ,and I shall attempt it, for 1 eta eonfident succees."ir led the way to the eee. riage that welted them. "I shall Is glad to let you know the result of my operation ainee you hnow the man," 'laid Dr, Sp(itratogsbete. oottumulo SEED SELECTED Prizes Offered by Canadian Seed Growers' Association, Miele]. /teeth* 13 given by the above organization that aubstantial prize n in the form of teush and. special trophies are offeied leg 'seed grown in the pro- vinee and exhibited at the next annual 'Winter Fair or Provincial Seed. Exhibl- non. 'Ile date of tills exhibition will be made publie later. lit addtion to the regular prizes of- fered to Members of the asseeiation, •epeeittl caoh prizes are offered to boye and girls, between 12 and 18 years of age for exhibits ofepring wheat and white oate. A oweepstakee prise in the form of a beautiful gole ane,dal donated by Dr. d'as. W. Robertson is aleo offered to the boy or girl having tho beet exhibit of oats in the Maritime Provinime, Que- 1 bee And Ontario, and wheat in each of the Provinces of Manitoba,: Saskatelie- wan and Alberta. &telt of these exhibits 1 is to ooneest of a sheaf, which must be at least six inch -es In diameter at the band, and a gallon of threshed grain. The : plants for this sheaf .should be eeleeted by hand from the field before the erop is cut. Those proposing to compete for these prizes ehouldarrange at once to make the necessary selections, and should also Write to Secretary, Canadian Seed Grow- er& Aesoolation, Ottawa, Ont., and olb- tain a oopy of the prize list rules and spec,ial arrangements regarding the trans- portation of exhibits. Now is your chances boys and girls. Even if you don't happen to win it prize, the experience you will gain will increase _ your ohaneee next time. FLY KILLER. On a flat eaucer mix 90 parte el water and 10 parts of formaldehyde and 2 parte of sugar. Place sponge in mid- dle of solution, This mixture attracts flies, which die almost immediately up- on drinking, Renew mixture every few days, I 50 CENTS PER WEEK Puts An Organ or Piano in Your Home. e. • On Friday, Mania 15th, we comment, - ed. our annual slaughter sale of all used instrumente in stock. This year sees as with double the number we ever had. Some elghty-five instruments are offered and. among them organs bear- ing names of such well-known makers 0.3 Bell, Karn, Thomas, Doherty and Doneinion. The pricea of these range from $15 to $00 at the above terms. The pianos bear such well-known names of makers as Decker, Thomas, Herald, Webers Wormwith and lleintzman & Co. Every instrument has been repair- ed by our own workmen and. manes a Sive years' guarantee, and as a speoial ladueement we will make an agreement to take any instrument back on ex- change for a better one any time within three years and allow every cent paid. 8eml kost card at once for complete list, with full particulars. Heintzman & Co., 71 King street east, Hamilton. e • RENEWS BLACK. r.ro renovate biaa kid gloves and Slippers, mix together in equal quanti- ties the white of an egg, milk or eream, and. black ink. Pince the &viol on the band and rub lightly with a, piece of soft flannel. Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper. A GOOSE THAT THINKS. A plump, sedate -looking goose, with keen blue, intelligent eyes, waddled about the street at Clapham Junction, following ite master like it dog. Known as Joey, the goose lays claim to being the cleverest goose in the world -the goose with the human brain! Joey went through its repertoire with the sagacity and intelligence of it dog, the bird fetehed papers, waltzed, kissed its master, Mr. Chorley, who has train- ed Joey for the stage, and did numerous other feats. At the word of command. Joey walked through hoops, ran up ladders, had lunch at a small table and then removed the cloth (as well as the crockery), danced round and round to a valse tune, and affeetfonately kissed Mr. ehorley,- London Mirror, _ 6 Minard's Linament Cures Colds, Etc. Do Your Eves Fool You? An effect of irradiation: Circles which, seen at a distance, look like the hexagons of a beehle'e. 4140,....wwwwww• BIRDS OF A PEATHER. "Dear Olara," wrote the young Mail, "pardon me, but I ant getting so forge:, fed. T propesed to you laot 'night, but really forgot whether you said yea or "Dear Win," ehe replied by note, 'SO glad to hear from you. 1 know C enid 'no' to Some one la.st night, but / had forgotten ;just who it Was." Do You Feel Moody, Don't Be Afraid of sunlight Irritable, Depressed? BY A PHYSICIAN. WHEN THAT LANGUID, LAGGY, EASILY -TIRED FEELING COMES YOUR LIVER le SLOW. Tells How to Cure Quickly, "IlAren when I wee young 1 wee not robuet and healthy like other suffered .from headaches, and had sort of blue feelings that deprived nio of the joyful spirits and pleaeares other girle (weaned to got. Atter I married 1 found 1 could not throw worries off like other women, and those dull feelings of de- epondency aud weariness made ine very 'unhappy. elehere WAS no cause to feel So, and my doctor said my liver wee sluggish, and this Accounted for my poor eolor, 1tt tirednese, languor and deepair. The pills the doctor gave me were too purgative, made me weaker, beeettiee they were too active for my conetitution. Dozens of my friends recommended Dr. Hamilton'e Mlle, and they were eo inild and helpful. Well, 1 never used a. pill that acted so quietly as Dr, Hanlliton'e. They were se comfortable to use, I was afraid they might not help, t3ut in a week I knew they had been actively engaged in eleanine up my .syetem. They did the work of acionie and blood medi- cine oombined. I improved to a, mar- vellous degree with Dr. Hamilton'Pill, and I now maintain the most perfect kind of health by using them jut once or twice a week.' It is Mrs. E. V.Erlanger, well known at Gloucester, who relates the above ex- perienee. She proved what you and all others, men and women, can prove -- that Dr. Hamilton's Pine are best for restoring health and best for keeping the system in perfeet running order, Don't be misled into tieing anything but Dr. Handltoo's Pille, 25c per bon, five for $1.00, at all druggists and store- keepers, or post-paid by the Catarrh - ozone Co., Buffalo, N, Y., and Kingston, Canada, CO-OPERATIVE FARMS FOR WO- MEN. The desirability of establishing women's co-operative farms in the United Kingdom has been seriously considered, and should the present plans mature, the first experimental colony will be located on a farm of 223 acres in Sussex, The breeding and care of horses, cows, sheep, pigs, poultry, and rabbits, the cultivation of fruit, vegetables and flowers; and the raising uf ordinary farrn crops will be undertaken, it is believed that a ready home market will be Pouted for the products of such a farm, as statistics show that about $175,000 is annually paid in the United Kingdom for tame (Or "Os- tend") imported rabbie3 and nattily $70,000,000 for butter consigned from Denmark, while the value at Import- ed bacon and pork approximates $40,- 000,000 annually. In addition, mil- It011S of dollars are expended each year for eggs, vegetables, fruit, etc., received from abroad. The movement has this two -fold purpose -to provide young women who are desirous of emigrating to any of the English over -sea posses- sions with thorough training in all branches of farming, and also with an adequate knowledge Of domestic econonly, and to furnish congenial employment in the United Kingdom to members or that increasing body of women who feel a desire to culti- vate the land but lack the experience and the facilities for doing so. It will doubtless prove to be not one of the last interesting of the many experiments which are being made to Induce a greater number of the English people to turn away from the crowded employments of the cities to the practice of agriculture. - Consular Report. I - 6 For information that will lead to the discovery or whereabouts of the person or persons suffering from Nervous Debility, Fits, Skin Dis- ease, Blood Poison, Genito Urinary Troubles, and Chronic or Special Complaints that cannot be cured at The Ontario Medical Institute, 263.265 Yonge Street, Toronto. ONE WOMAN HAS HER RIGHTS. Mrs. Kelly and Mrs. Rafferty were exchanging, ideas aeross the shabby fenee Whia separated their respective domains. The conversation turned on the subject of woman suffrage. The Philadelphia Record quotes the first lady as saying: "Are ye taking much stock in this attempt that a lot iv tie wimmin are making to get th' vote Pr tis, Airs. Rafferty?" "I ain't bothering me head about it," declared Mrs, Rafferty. "I'm satis- fied to let Dinny and th' bys do all th' votin' for me femil,y. But I do think that a lady ehrid get a men'e pay." "Well," replled Mrs. Kelly, "all I kin say it, Mrs. Rafferty, that I get one man's pay, or know the reaso nwhy, av- try Saturday night." This is to certify that 1 liave ueed MINARD%1 LINIhrieNT in my family for years, an.d eonsider it the best lini- ment on the market. T have found it excellent for horse flesh. (Signed) W. S. PINEO. "Woodlands," Middleton, N . . . THEIR PURPOSE, A Frenchman, it German and an Eng- lishman were discussing the humor of their respective countries. "Freud' jokes are always so ISaid the Frenchman. "Yes," replied the “erman, "and Ger- man jokes always hese such it pleasing, wholesotue humor." "Well, when it comes to humor," rut in the Ie»glishman, "I'd have you to e t , denetand that English jokes are not to be laughed at." clever," WHAT MADE HER IVIAD, Dello - 1 doiett speak to Jaelc any more. Nellen-Whatei the trouble? De115.--1 told him the Ladies' Atd ap- proved the way 1 dressed my hair, and he had the impudence to teak me if it WO ratified, Sunlight is one of the beat fanallY physielane. There fehould be eunehine some- time in the day in every room In the house. It la health to the mind and health to the body. It Is one of the chief ingredients in the make -no of a robust child. Its cherry face and farm rays cut off the lengthening Shadows of the Sunlight is the best cleanser the housewife ean employ. And sum- mer Is the time of all times to epeo wide the doors and let the sunettine in. If you will notice the ceilin4 Itt your kitchen you will see ehoggy bits of soot collected here and there. For the most part, this is grease evaporated on the stove and con- densed on the wall. With it there le Home other or- ganic matter; some lharrgless dirb and eome bacteria, One day's accumulation is too little to be seen, But Me mass increases day by day. The cleanest of kitchens have some whiriekere, Tsame pre ;ess, in less amount, is taking place on every wall. The condensed matter hasn't so much grease on it and so does not show so plainly. But whether in kitchen or parlor, ing bedding sweet. It will take the moth out of clothes that have been stored away. It will freshen books which have been packed away in damp places. It wee make the mop stick and the dish cloth sanitary. It's olio of nature's chief aids to health. There are many ways to secure sunshine In a house. One of the beat Is to build the house so that the sun may shine onto and into it. Do not place tte house in the centre of high trees where it will be shad- owed all day. -Do not plant trees near the windows. Face the house In a direction that ,will expose every room to some sunlight. It will be pretty safe to face it east, west or north, If there must be dark rooms see that the kitchen and the bedrooms are not among them. The one is the centre of the house- hold's food supply. The other should keep fresh in spite of al Ulla im- purities given off by the body while sleeping. •• ..etlealteremente.e..e: - 11.1 To Tighten That Sagging Door • 71 Is t here anything more maddening in these fly -specked days than a sag- ing screen door that must be lifted to be brought over the sill and snugly hitt) place? But there' is no excuse for anyone's screen door sag- gi-itlg. A bit of wire and two ordinary screws will cure the vii. The door should be closed and a small wedge slipped between it and the i11 on the side opposite the hinges. Place a screw in the bottom of the frame near the outer corner. Place another screw on the side next to the hinges just over the upper panel. Take a length of wire and draw and fasten it tightly from one screw to the other. Then take out the wedge and it will be found that the door will easily clear the sill and admit no more flies, *.•-•-tt TO EASE SHOES. To ease a tight wring out It aver the spot where the (shoe pinches, Repeat this as eoon as the cloth be- comes cold. After two or three applies.. Cone' the leather Will have become stretched to the foot, teeth in very but eater end place it flow Dayton Ladies Cure Their Corn.Pinched Toes mio,s M. Lukey, of Zena ave., Dayton, Oluo, writes: "Belem using 'Putnam's Painless Corn Extractor' I was quite laid up with corns, and could not even etand the pressure of n loosely buttoned shoe. 1 applied Putnames 'Ex- tractor,' and in it miraculously short time 1 was completely cured. I take great pleasure in recommending your valuable remedy to my friends." Put- nam's Corn Extractor in 25e bottles, sold by druggists. --see • MOST ANYTHING. Senator Burton points out that certain Chicago land has increased in value 74,- e00 per cent. hi the hest seventy years. BUT THE REAL POINT IS: The people who brought about the in- crease DIDN'T get it. Mollie -I'm doing my best to get ah, Devaidue-yen,1 erybody 'knows you need one. Mrs, Newiywed-Dad's just vent us a chenut for our new .baby. Wasn't that good for him? Mr. Newlywed -I should say soi write at once and thank him foe his con- tribution to the fresh heir fund.--Tit- Bttrii irdy Whitlock, embezzling' treasurer at Danville, itt,, was fined $75,000 ray - able in monthly Instalments of $40. tie Win make his met payment October ;Ate 21tT)atie-TF:Standard 011 "dlsolution" Just put eelanectel In John la's pocketbook, that's all." "Will 10,' ohtai'vlaeorralgieerieanyusaill4titer4ior. took at grandpa'e "every time you are naughty t get an- baid s.orrowfully, tuned Willie, "you must 37:2' A1 141We Liniment cures Diphtheria. • • 4,4-4 • • • PLAYING HER CARDS. (AnbUrn Citizen) Tommy -May I stay up a little longer? Ethel \vette do you lost to stay up f(Critmye-I mant to tee you and Mr. 44-eirr1,1(3))tal-ntult..awilliLare not going to play "(1'(.1111My---0)1, yes yoo are: tor 1 heard ineranut saeieg to 'Etnel thee everything. depeteleil 011 the way in wide), mthe pateed hr tetras to -night. WwwwwwwwWww111,00,491,.....wwww.a....... SHOO FLIES. It you are annoaed with flies in your bedroom, soak it (lenge in oil of laven- der end tie it to the top of the bed. Flies hate the smell of lavender and will not approach it. . abiti • "--,,-00.401 ISSUE NO. 35, 1912 I I HELP WANTED, 't leNTED -DRESOMAKE R-- - fl did opening Tor dressmaker in WM- ntetlint WW1 good live business; rooms, heat arid heat free; mile first-Cleee 1.;91:- tilderea. Apply to onee to leeter ieutf, Braeehrldge, Out. X P alrelleN (MOD Meet :I.I.444105 Xor luibit,jig and tool work, aiSO 4111. provers• t'reelmau utanuo(ketuters knitting macklues, (leargetown• Oats )1.11seT.:11 11T1IN Foe lifade enniee cabinet work, stair wore, beide:w(le. letate experienve and wages required. Knight Bro., Burke Valls, Oat. nISAUTii W./serrate) .MUST BE good mechanlit; one with knowledge or plumbing preferred; highest wages paid, J. S. Moir„kruprior, Ont. NA' " two s' ionetetal, etio E 32 street, Chicago.. 111. VUANTED-EXPERIENCED DINING T room girls; highest wages; Penna. nent position. Apply Waldorf itotea Hamilton. kee2anA:IteoNn.roheurt.e..leieits, BENCH HANDS. Apply Burton & Mfg, Coe A-6E1411-WAIWEE,4:- rwr. w ANTED, AGENTS IN k3VERY VY town In eannda to sell Novelty sign cards and price tickets. Twenty dollarS weekly easily made. Novelty Sales. Co., Nordlielmer Building*, Toronto, FOR SALE. 131 OR ' CiTee LIMITS - Guelph; 9 roomed brick house; mod- ern verandah; furnace; electric light; large stone barn; 12 young fruit trees; almost two acres et land (subdivided), at present in garden; situated on main road, overlooking city; three minutes from street cars; price $4,000. Mrs. James Spencer, Paisley Road, Guelph, Ont. Fi on SALE - BUS, DRAY AND EX - Durham, Ont. railroads. A money maker. Good reaS- press business live town. Two ons fur selling. Price, e2,60. Box la FOR SALE- - TINSMITHING plumbing business and building, with rooms above for occupancy, stock, tools and everything pertaining to business for $1,000.00. Selling on aeount ef old age. An excellent opening, V. Vance, Eesex, Ont. FARMS FOR SALE, 200 ACRP.S-LARGE HOUSile -b.ank barn; 2 acres oreharct; running -eater year round near barns; on leading road close to school and church; two miles to railroad station; rural mail delivery; owner old man anx- ious to sell and retire; see this now; price f8,000; easy terms. Henry B. O'Brien, Coning -Wood, Ont. MISCELLANEOUS. e&• eare. ArePE.R W.EMK IS THE AVER - age salary that chauffeurs, w no have taken ear correspondence oeuree, axe getting. Weuld you Hite t drlye a car. Write for free booklet. Torento Auto Institute, Toronto, Ont. INVESTivIENTS. \ • rill' BE CONTENT WITH SMALL Interest? We have many opportuni- ties to make loans. absolute security; a per cent. net to itivestur; improved pro- perty; Canadian Northern and branch Canadian Pacific Railways corning 11n3, with terminus here; values will rise eulekly; investigate and buy before the rise; largest apple dietrlot in Province; we sell large acreage; city, orchard and farm lands; information and literature freo. Apply Wilkinson & Fisher. Ke - inane. B. C. SEND IN NAMES Ex -Members of Thirteenth May Now Register for Semi -Centennial Arrangements have been made for the registration of names in connection owith the celebration ot the send -cen- tennial of the Thirteenth Royal Regi- ment, and it is hoped that all ex -mem- bers will send io their names. The regietration of names will be made at Nordheimer's nmeic store, 18 King street west. This is the ohiy mearie the officers have of getting into touch evith ex -members, aud it is hoped that the members and ex -members who know of the celebration will inform any ex -members whose whereabouts they know, so that they may accept this notice of the affair as an invita- tion to send in their names. As soon as names are received personal invi- tations will be sent out and informs. - tion given regarding the celebration. Through the eo-operation of all mem- bers and e.xemembers who know of the arrangements that are being made, the affair can be made De success the of- ficers hope, and as elaborate arrange- ments are being made it is believed that the attendance will be very large on September 13, 14 and 15. BRITISH RAILWAYS. The total mileage of the railways in the United leingclorn 22,8ea, and of this 2.3,3ri6 miles, more than 12,000 miles are doubled track or mare. The capitalization of these railways reaches the gigantio total of $7,006,925.000, nearly all of which • is paid up. The gross receipts for the year were tact/saw, and the working expenses $392,830,000, leaving the net re- ceipts at V.143,260,00, which was an in- crease over the previous year of $1,294,111, Season ticket holders numbered 780,000, add the number of pasengers carried in addition to these Was 1,326,246,000' . The minerals carried totalled 40e,S03,000 tons, and the general merchandise 113,752,000, while the number of miles travelled by the trains was 428,5ee1,600, ot whiele 210,- 207,000 was by passenger trains -Canad- ian Bankers' Journal, I 4 Minard's Liniment Cures Garget in Cows. .-1.1•411. GEOLOGISTS COMING. The twelfth session of the interna- tional teeological Congress, held in Otte - Canada, during 1913. This IA the lint time this country has been honored with this important meeting and the fol- lowing details in advance will be of in- tereet to our readers: Since the first meeting of the eon- gres ia Paris in 1878, meetings have been held in Hely, Germany, England, the United States of Anterior, Switzer- land, Rumen, AustrM ia, exiee and See- dmeAt tile last congress held Steen - holm in 1.110 teen. was en attendance of 850, Itna it is expected that this num- ber will be exceded in Canada net yeae. eleologiste from every quarter of the globe will attend the eongrees and few many it will be their first visit to Cana. de. They will include professors from the leading universities 'tied Mining Sehook, OffieerEt of the various Goverethent geo- logical surveys and mining departments, and eeologists nua 1111)11111t englneere in private preetice. 4 BETTER THAN SPANKING sfpankins deem not cure children Of bed., wettIntg. Thera la a constitutional Mee for this trouble. aim n. stunmerii, Boi fe 'Windsor, Ont., will send tree to any mother her nueeesafut home treat- nitht. With full Inetructions, men& no roOney. but write her to -day if your le,itiltle tett trouble you in this WAY. DOri't blame the ehildeetho chances are it can't help It. This triatment Also oUras Adult* Aitad People troubled with tale* We noVitleei DY day or night,