HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance, 1912-05-23, Page 6•
t.eres....eisesesS.
SPEAKING OF LANGUAGES.
(Lippineott's hatgaziliee
Prown-aly wife has a smattering of
cevcral different languagej.
'rowne-My wife speaks only one, but
speaks that very iluentla.
•••• ,11•••.•••••••4.••• ••••.•••••• ••••••••
HEREDITY.
(elii(ago News.)
"Sudie" (sant a mother to her small
datte: tar), "ally is a mai you and your
111 terother are always quarrelling?"
"1 don't know," replied Faalle, "unless
I take after you and he taizes after pa -
MAKING PERFECTLY SURE,
(Boston Transeript.)
jaelt-Are you sure that I am the only
'lima you ever really and truly loved?
Ethel -Perfectly sure, dear. f went over
the whole list only yesteralty.
NAGS AND JAGS,
(Niagara Falls (azette.)
A Broeklyn judge rules that a man
can't leave his wife "just bevause she
nags him." But it must be remembered
that if the husband has to put up for tile
nags tlie wile must stand for the jags.
A MATRIMONIAL PLEA.
Na tional ont Mhly.)
Teacher -Johnny, toll me who Patrick
Henry was and what did he do?
Johnny-Patriek Belay Wits a young
man. and he lived in Virginia. He was
married and he said, "Give me liberty
or give me death."
THE SAME SOCKS.
(Kansas City journal.)
"I think she will make a fine wife. 1
have been calling on her for several
months now, and nearly always find her
darning one of her father's socks."
"That caught me, too, until I found out
darning one of her father's socks."
;
LATER PARTICULARS.
(Chicago Tribune.)
Suddenly Mother Hubbard remembered.
"It wouldn't be in the cupboard, any-
way!" she exclaimed.
Going to the icebox she found a nice
bone, but by that time the boys were
kicking her dawg aroun.
1
IN BOSTON.
(Judge.)
°Wee Boy -Sir, I regret to inform you
that I have to attend the Ci"bsequies of
my paternal grandparent.
Employer -Percy, you cannot deceive
me. You are employing that subterfuge
in order to attend the opening of the
water -color exhibition.
4:)
CONTRADICTORY.
Miro.)
"I have seen three doctors, the first
said it was arthritis, and the second,
ataxy."
"And the third?"
"Of course he contradicted the other
two, flatly."
MISUNDERSTOOD.
(Sketch.)
"Your wife will be married twice, Her
second husband will be handsome,
wise and honorable, a man of simple
tastes and refined habits with the man-
ot a courtier."
"Hang the old cat! She never told me
she had been married before."
THE KIND OF THING TO BUY.
(Fliegende 131aetter.)
"I'm thinking of going on a tour of the
Rhine this summer, and 1 slime like
Your advice about the best things to buy
there. 'You've been there, haven't you?"
"Yes, 'but it's a long time ago. 1 shall
have to refresh my memory. Waiter,
bring the wine card."
SCARED BLUE.
(Chicago "rribune.)
Wife (starting on a trip) -111 write to
you every day while I'm gone.
Hub -Heavens! You are not ,going to
want money that often?
4**
GOOD DOG.
(Pliegende Biaetter.)
"Paid a thousand marks for the dog,
did you?. It ought to be well bred at
that price."
"I can only tell you that I wish I had
a pedigree like his, that's all."
same
APPEAL TO VANITY.
(Judge.)
ltd - I see those London merchants
have a plan to stop the suffragettes
from smashing their windows.
Ward -What is it?
Ed -They're putting In mirrors instead
of plate glass,
PART OF LIFE WORK.
(Kansas City Journal.)
"Now, that your soli is through college,
what are you going to make of him?"
"Can't tell for a couple of years. He
went to a co-ed institution, and he's
hooked for two years 6o11d to act as an
usher at weddings."
1 I
HE AGREED.
(Cleveland Plain Dealer.)
"What you need," said the worthy
medic in his ponderous way, "is an en-
largement of your daily round, a wider
circle of activity." •
"Mebby that's right," saki the patient,
"rrn a bareback rider in a one -ring cir-
cus."
s
VERY DEFINITE.
(Journal Arnusant.)
"And for my insomnia, doctor?"
"Ah, yes. Take a spoonful of the med-
icine I have ordered a quarter of an
hour before you sleep."
THE VERY THING.
(Yonkers Statesman.)
"lis.ve you any rubber articles?" asked
the man, entering the store.
"Surely," replied the salesman. "We
have a fine line of opera glasses."
4
INDICATIONS.
(Niagara Falls Gazette.)
"Did you know I was to be your breth-
er-in-law, Jimmy?"
"I s'pected it. "Sis said she'd slap
me i I didn't tell you she was sweet
tempered."
DON'T BLAME HER.
(Boston .Transcript.)
Hub (angrily) -Here! What do you
mean by waking me out of a soutiti
sleep?
Wife-Beeause tho sound WaS so OP
tressing.
s
EXPLAINING BASEBALL.
(NeW York Sun.)
Kuleker-Now do you understarta the
game?
Sweet Young Thing -Perfectly, slxnertt
don't see who that Inall 15 iUtLIittiW
aWaY frona
•••46••411.4.4
IN THE NIGHT EDITOR'S ROOM.
(('hkago Tribune.)
"Here's a despateh about a man who
tried to choke his landlady hi death and
4,ae. off with a small (Inc.''
"ualst have been tried by a jory of
bearders. Cot it down to 'i5 words and
pal a one line head OVOT it."
A STINGING BUSINESS.
(Washington Star.)
"That get-rich-quiek man ia as busy as
0.
hf,(1,1
"Vi.P." replied Mr. Cumrox. "ITe's one
01: thi,E0 busy bees wlm ean't menage to
Aather hooey Viithout ineidentally sting-
mcbody."
UNDER SUSPICION.
War:sone (Sonnard and TiareS.)
-YJur prejudiee up:ilia:it air. '471;1ms:rake
1.• entaelY 11111T11';01101110, rm.," 1,r0leACI1
Wflfh/ hei1it5:4. "Thory°
dyal in that yelltlf4IP
"YePs." rePtied hoe shrewd old father,
"and eometimee afraid Lt'' a groat
deal of thy 5,111ff 1 nallvd on Ills hroatii
the other day."
.14,0111011/1111114~
eesee. ••••••••-••
t.:44444.044.4444.404:44.44.4.4.444440444:4444:44.14.44444:4+4,4,04.0.09
WHEN THE MINISTER CAME
- TO TEA
•
'
,47;;••
*0 • •
(By Harriet &fulfill Fenton in C, E World) -
- .ow . E.
10'
4444 Cntaatatahea4sehehe:eaa:4+144o:aaka.)144:Kataa4eataea.teaea leteCe44.144804.0440
"We'll have to have the new minister - much different from you; but, howsona-
to tea, of course," said Mrs, Saunderson ever it may be, you must make up your
mind to wear that new stand.iip collar 1
with a tone of finality as she passed the
rolls. bought you, your stiff -bosomed ehirt,
u, get
Saunderson nodded acquiescence and your meeting suit. If yo
over the breakfast
seratched, there's plenty of cold cream
steak,
"Everybody'll be inviting him," eontins in the house. They say the young par-
ued Mis. saunderson, sagely; sso set son has been a city fellow all his life,
on having him among the first, before an accustomed to evening dress day and
he gets tired going around to other night both, I guess,"
folks' houses." Ellen choked behind her napkin, Pa
"You'd better ask him quids, then, Sautiderson glanced up mischievously.
ma," spoke up ten -year-old lieury. "I "What are you planning to have, ma?"
Mr, Ssamderson inquired, mildly.
heard Mrs. Brom' and. Mrs. Simpson in -
"Sliced haln and chicken," began Mrs.
WW1' him right a.fter church last Sun-
Saunderson; "perhaps a little tongue,day."
tmixed n. Then
"For the land's sakes!" Mrs, Saundersoo; it looks so well
of
clicked the nickel coffee-pot down on its course I shall make some rhubarb and
wooden stand. "I declare some people blackberry pies, fruit cake, sponge and
s lemon cake, hot biscuits and muffins.
haven't a. mite of sense in their heads!
she exclaimed. "Why, last Sunday was Then there'll be pickles, sliced tomatoes,
radishes, lettuce, and. currants, not
only his first Sunday here! I really
thought more of Susan Brown and spes,king of apples, pears, and plums, ana
Afaria Simpson than that," she finished strawberry shortcake."
in a tone of disapproval. "Ma, let us sit up!" begged. Johnny,
The forwardness of her two ambitious and Henry in a chorus.
neighbors still preyed on Mrs. Sounder-
"Provided you don't ask for a second
/helping of things," responded their
son's mind as she rode in silence by her
mother, quick to seize this opportunity
husband's side in the old buggy that
Amos Saunderson was one of the
to lay down the law in preparation for
'
the corning event. "If there's any
deacons, and. never missed. a prayer
meeting. more for you, pall ask you to have
In spite of their reputation for punc-
some."
tuality, the deacon and his wife were That very morning, preparation for
late for the service. They entered the the minister began at the Saunderson
h
church as quietly as possible, just as the ome. Mrs. Saunderson first opened
Up and aired out the parlor, grown
young minister in the pulpit started to
raisty from disuse, took down tbe cur -
dresses were simple, clear, and earnest. read !the Scriptures. Richard Rilton's ad -
tains, and started to work with pail
and water. Ellen, who had not for -
Mrs. Saunderson felt a fluttering in
'gotten the knack of housekeeping, to
for -
tin ardiac region as she watched him.
e e
"Just the one for Mary Ellen," she which Ole had been inured at art- early
tbought to herself. She looked around 'age, accepted an equal portion of the
cleaning, although she did not appreei-
blushing as guiltily, as the thought pass -
a
ed through her head, as if she had given ate the neoessity of so much preparation
just beeause the person invited happened,
voice to her reflectione, and Mrs. Brown
to be of the cloth of a minister.
and Mrs. Simpson had. heard. Fifteen
minutes later Amos Saunderson helped "We'll just about get the room clean -
his wife into the buggy.
ed. to -day," remarked Mrs. Sounderson
"I've asked the minister, and he prom-
about 3 o'clock that afternoon, as she
ised to come Wednesday," she announced
leaned against the step -ladder to rest for
a moment. "We won't stop to get much
triumphantly, as he tucked the carriage
robe about her. for supper.
"To -morrow?" asked
"'There's some cold things in the pan -
Amos.
"No, of course not," responded Mrs. try- Amos won't mind a pick-up tea
Saunderson, quickly, "a. week from to-
morrow. That'll give me time to "red"
things up a bit, and get ready for him.
Besides, Mary Ellen 'II be home."
She gave a high and clasped her hands
in her lap.
Amos turned his horse's head to the
road on the right, and clucked to, old
Doll. Away in the distance a sharp
whistle rent the air. The carriage rat-
tled over the stony road to the foot of
the hill, arriving at a small wooden
station just as the headlight of a
train showed around a. curve. Amos
helped his wife out, and tied the horse
to the hitching -post while the train
slowed. up with a shriek.
One passenger jumped lightly from. the
eteps, while one trunk was thrown from
the baggale ear. A slight young ladyear
some kind of a well -fitting dark travel-
ling suit threw hersel fjoyfully upon the
two old people.
"It's Mary Ellen!" cried the older wos
man, trembling in her pride as she press -
for once."
"Ma," said Johnny, from the doorway,
where he stood rubbing one barefoot
over the other, "I met the minister, and
he said be was coming up to tea to-
night."
Mrs. Saunderson started so that the
cake of .sepolio she held in her hand
splashed into the bucket. She crossed
the room, and. grasped the boy by the
shoulder.
"What did. he say?" she demanded,
nervously, giving him a little shake.
"He said that he believed he had the
pleasure of dining with me to -night, and
he Said the 'to -night' as plain as could
be," Johnny hastened to explain.
"He's made a mistake in the day, and
I said as plain as could be a week from
Wednesday, and not Wednesday. What
Ashall we do?" exclaimed Mrs. Saunder-
son. "I haven't a thing in the house!"
She sank down on the bottom step of
the ladder.
"Send word to him not to come" ad -
ed her daughter to her. "And she won't.ovised Mary Ellen calmly, as she kept on
be going away from us any more." 'wiping the paints:.
"Now that you've gotyonur 'decree,'. "That would be dreadful," her mother
you won't, will you, Ellen?" said Amos, almost wailed. "We couldn't do that.
patting the girl awkwardly on the shoul- What would Sue Brown and Maria Simp-
ders. , son say? What shall I, do?" she reiter-
"You mean my degree, fatherrlaugh- ated. "He'll be here in an hour, for
ed Ellen in joyful, musical tones. "No.,: asked him at four, and there's not a
not for some time, anyway. We're. going'imite of pie or cake made, nor anything.
to have great time together now." And I wanted everything to be particle -
Ellen was twenty. Her feature a larly nice!"
were not handaome; but her intella "Don't worry," said Mary Ellen, sooth-
gent, merry brown eyes and smiling'. ingly, "If we've got to have him, let's
mouth made her face attractive and make the best of it. We cs.n slice the
interesting. She was rather tall for cold chicken in the pantry. We've plenty
her build, but she had learned to = of lettuce, and I'll make an egg salad.
move about -with the careless, natstral The strawberries are ripe in the garden,
ease that only four years' training and I'll whip some cream for them. Per -
at a typical Americau college could: t haps we can borrow a cake from one of
the neighbors."
Mrs. Saunderson bounced up suddenly
with determined lines around her mouth.
"Never!" she said, grimly. 'T11 bake
a sponge this minute. Johnny," she call-
ed sharply, as she hurried down the
hall, "go out and pick some stra.wber-
ries; and you, Henry, go. out to the or-
chard, and polish up the best dish of
fruit you can find there then both you
come and get into your beet clothes
mighty quick!"
For the next few minutes s'he fairly
flew around the sitting -room, for using
the parlor was out of the question
now. The chairs were put into their
proper places, a tidy was carelessly
thrown over a thin spot on the arm of
the big rocker, and. a. pile of sofa -pillows
completely hid the darn on the eoueh-
cover. The setting of the dining-.roorn
table was a more complicated mtater.
There was some consolation for her disap-
pointment in the knowledge that neither
Sue Brown nor Marie Simpson could
boast of ao fine china and silver as she
possessed. As the clock struck the ball -
hour, she rushed to the kitchen where
Mary Ellen was hastily preparing
dallies for the table,
"We'll havo to go up and get dreesed
now," she began, excitedly. "He'll be
here any minute now—with the house as
dirty as it is. I should die of mortifi-
cation if he should get a glimpse of this
floor from the dining -room."
"Pll wash it, mother," announced
yMoaurryselEllen, sweet,"
"Run along and make
"You!" exclaimed her Mother, staring,
"Yoti'll have hardly time to dress your-
:Bel"fInasvoilitatia?'''"' laughed Ellen. "You know
father Was to go for Illy trunk to -night,
This waist I wore home yesterday is
soiled, and there's nothing tip in my
or a tear or a worn spot in- my houge— eloset but my old gymnasium blotree;
never! Mary Ellen! but you are ehang. and you wouldn't have me wear that?
ed. I can remember the time when you "No" Mrs. Saunderson dropped into
nearly cried your eyes out when Elder the nearest chair, and put her hands over
Pieta(' first came hero, hecanse you had her faae. "But I wanted you to meet
specked. your new gingham dress, and itim," she said, faintly, making no effort
you 'were afraid he would see It. As for , to eoneeal her disappointment.
you, Amos, T ain't say as I expected "Oh, I'll see him again," Ellen aseured
give her. The conatamt mingling with
girls of her own age, of equal mental
gifts, had given her that polish, se in-
describable ahd yet so effective, which
Ls characteristic of college women
who have lived dormitory lives. • The
old. people had done a great deal ot
scrimping to give their (laughter this
opportunity; but, as she sat between
them on the wide buggy seat, dainty,
refined, radiant, and full of life, every
siterifice seemed to them well repaid.
Mary Ellen WaS different from other
girls. The children thought so, too.
"So the minister's coming to tea," said
Ellen at the breakfast table the next
morning, after the news about town had
been told.
"And I've got SO much to do before
he comes that I don't know whet to
do," added Mrs. Saunders. "There's
every room in the house to clean, to
begin with. Then same of the chairs
need new chintz covers. You can get
some real pretty stuff at seven cents
at the store: Then, pa, you'll have
the rugs, and mow the grass, and
weed the flower beds. Oh, yes, before
I forget it remind me to get some new
,curtains for the front room. That's
got to be all aired out. Mercy! I
almost wish 1 bad asked him two weeks
naead instead of one."
"Why, what's the matter with things
as they are, mother?" spoke up Ellen.
"Pm 'sure that everything looks as
cheerful and Domelike as it can be. I
wouldn't do a thing if I were you."
"That's what I tel lher," put in Amos.
"There's no sense in woman folks clean-
ing house so often that they rub the
paint off it."
Mrs. Saunderson are quickly, a flush
on her face. Her wisdoin as a houeekeep-
er bad been challenged.
"nave the minister come to tea and
see a speck of dust, or a hole or a darn
THrt 011.1111AL
""Xhis la 10 IMO b01; tetaa And 100 the tlai, daitries Ad
sold Yr$4,11 Your too.'t-t4449114101kAsilM9 ------- '
Al*Seleftele,...eseeeree•eateres.....
her, earelessly. "Now, hurry, mother."
"Brerything's about ready, and the
children aro cleaned. up."
aim alaund,ersou allowed hereell to be
led to the foot of tae baele stairs, where
she stood leanin4. againee the doorlarab
disconsolately.
Lucy Dean is about your size," sae
began. "Can't you borrow a waist from
her?" she added, hesitatingly,
"Mother!"
After she had bundled her parent
upstairs Ellen returned to the aitehen,
where he rolled up her eleeves, and
enveloped herself itt an old blue checked .
apron. Next she brought from the
laundry closet a pail, ecrubbiug-brush,
clotla and soap. A minute later she
was down on her knees, vigorously ap-
plying Soap suds to the brown oilcloth
about her.
"What a fuss fat for a minister!" ehe
thougiit to herself contemptuously. "1
wish people around this town would
hurry up and find out that because a
maa 'belongs to the clergy it does not
follow that he is an arehangetl,', She
laughed gaily. just then her solilo-
quy was interrupted by a rap at the
door.
"Come in," called. out the young lady
cheerfully. When neighbors ran in on
one another in the little village, knock-
ing was hardly considered. necessary.
Mary Ellen did. not bother to change
her position as she knelt, back to the
door. The screen door opened. and
shut hesitatingly; and Ellen, looking •
under her right arm to suryey the new-
comer, saw something that made the
pink flush her cheeks. It was nothing
more or less than a. pair of well -polish-
ed black shoes protruding from two
immaculately creased gray trousers -
legs. She waited for the stranger to
speak.
"Er-er,"
door.
"Well, what is it?" snapped Ellen.
She gave the cloth an impatient flap.
It struck the wet cake of soap, which
promptly took a slide in the very di-
rection it shouldn't have. The next min -
IL
came a faint burr from the
r RJAG SOAP
mit WASHING DISHES
FORSOFTENING WATER
FOR D5RIFEaINGi SINKS
CLOSETSfiRAINSIK,
WADVIrecAtiA04
ty.W-GILLETT LTD
TOR ONTO- 0 NT:
W1NNIPEGIvIONTlialthltr
ute she saw a hand grasp it gingerly. INVENTS A SPIRAL CATAMARAN.
Then three bold strides were taken to-.
ward her, A principle absolutely unique in
me to make you a present of—"
%am boat construction is now being used
.
"Aliso Mary Ellen Saunderson,
in Los Angeles, where a working
Mary Ellen was on her feet in a min-
ute. model has been successfully operated,
"Richard Hilton, how in the world and where a full-sized passenger
did you get here?" Her embarrass- carrying craft is being constructed. it
ment of a few minutes previous dis-
<roml3ines the principles of the cata.-
appeared as she gazed at the good-na- ,
;
tured, freckled face before her. She or double hull, with a propel-
ler system that is unique. The latter
calmly wiped her wet hands on her ftp- consists of spiral flanges running the
ron, while Rev. Richard Hilton, dropping
pocket-haralkerchief. entire length of the 30 -foot floats
the greasy eake, dabbed his dry on a silk
"I'm one of the archangels you were ' which support the superstructure.
speakin,g of." he answered, mischiev- These floats are of metal with airtight
ously; `so perhaps swooped down here .
compartments, and are cigar-ohaped.
They revolvon bearings at the
rather suddenly." Then he laughed e
on hell
points where they are held by a steel
at the amazement depicted
frame. As they revolve, the spiral
face.
a flange, which is set at an angle of 30
"You don't mean to say you are
minister—the new minister here?" degrees to the cylinders, pushes the
craft through the waters with great
"Minister I am called," he answered force. The inventor claims that ninety
a little gravely, as he thought of his re- ' per cent. of prayer ordinarily lost in
sponsibilities. "You see I decided last water resistance will be converted
fall on this profession, and they let me into forward energy, as the resistanee
preach in a place like this after the first is removed by the spiral flange, and
year in the theological echool. But let nothing but the revolving cylinders is
xne help you work while I tell you about in contact with the water. The idea
it. Let's renew the old comp rule, 'All es so original that its working in a hill
pitch in and help,'"
sizedpleasure craft will be observed
-There's a mop over in that closet,"
with enuenral interest. Gas engines on
laughed Ellen, pointing to an old-fesh- the superetrueture will supply power,—
ioned cubby-hole.
Technical World.
When. Mrs. Saunderson, stiffly erect
in her best mohair, opened. the kitchen
door to see that everything for supper
was ready, she came upon a scene which
nearly took her breath away. Mary
Ellen, with rumpled hair, water -soaked
apron, and rolled -up sleeves, was calmly
scribbing one corner of the kitchen floor.
That was no more than she expected.
But over in the opposite corner, with
his coat off and his trousers turned
up, the Rev. Richard. Hilton was ap-
plying the sopping mop with vigor.
It required a great deal of explanation
to make things clear in Mrs. Saunder-
son's mind.
That the minister had come to the side
door by mistake was plain enough, but
net until she had apologized shamefaced-
ly for the appearance of Mary Ellen
(who evidently was not at all concerned
about it) did .sho understand that the
conventionality of dress was not a sen-
sitive point with ex -campers, and that
a. man c,oulhl be just as much a minister
without a frock coat and a grave mien
as with those accessories.
It was a, merry party that gathered
around the Saunderson table that night.
Pa Saunderson, who had escaped. the
tortures of a high collar and the uncom-
fortableness of a Sunday suit, beamed
upon the young clergyman. The boys,
though they thought longingly of the
promised strawberry shortcake, reflect-
ed that there had not beem time to
cram them full of table manners; so
they pronounced him "bIllfy" on the
spot. As for Mrs. Saunderson, she felt
that the last quiver of disappointment
had vanished when the rainister remark-
ed, as he took his third helping ot
sponge cake, that be had never felt more
at home in all his life. Then it was that
she noticed. with pride how young and
girlish Ellen looked in the hastily don-
ned gymnasium blouse.
After the minister had gone, much
later than Elder Pierce's hour for &par-
ture, and Mary Ellen was putting the
boys to bed, Mrs. Saunderson joined her
husband on the old-fashioned porch.
"Well," she began, suggestively, as
she took her place in the low rocker by
his side.
Amos thumped the front. legs of his
chair down.
"That young preacher's all right.He's
the very man we need, and he's got
backbone enough to make that church
move," he said, mixedly.
There was a silence, while each seem-
ed to read the other's thoughts. Sudden-
ly Mrs. Saunderson leaned over, and
placed her band on her husband's shout -
der. She looked. around nervously before
she spoke in an anxious whisper.
"Amos, do you think Mary Ellen has
a, show?" she asked, hesitatingly.
Tier Iniaband looked quickly at her,
arra laughed.
"Show?" he excleimed, amusedly. "It
seemto rite that she's the hull show."
• - -
HOW TO SLIDE DOWN A ROPE.
Sliding down a rope is not so simple ae
It seems. Few boys know how to do it
properly. If eon try to descend by let-
ting the rope slide througlj your had
the frictien will burn the palms so that
you will have to let go after a few feet.
If you try to !ewer your weight from one
handheld to another you are sure to be-
come tired and will be forced to drop,
Yon cannot slide with the rope between
your knees, for the swaying of your body
will jerk the rope out of the (dutch or
your knees and then you are likely to
fall.
The easiest and safest method you can
employ Is thet used by firemen and sail-
ors. Standing upeight throw out YOUr
right leg and give it a turn round the
rope. N'ext put the rope in the erook ot
yoor right olbew and clasp it tightly,
not in your liana, but in your arm.
1.1 that way you can !litle to satetY
without the slightest trouble, The rope
(Iota not touch any part of the body that
le not proteettld hy teething and your
speed eau bo regulated by either
etreIghtelihrg or earrylug your leg, One6
learned this Method ef Sliding down a
rope may prove in at emergency the
!mime of saving your life or the lives of
other aerSens.---Pront the Youths' Coale
pardon.
1,1 ••••1•U • I
You will find relief in Zam-Buk
it eases the burning, stinging
pain, steps bleeding and brings
ease. Perseverance, with Zan/.
BO, means cure.. Why not prove
this7 42.3 D2twgtsig and, &area—
Sar
VI)--:A•Dlo
44, ire...bran
FOS. ALL. ZOkt
-1:41tarEtrAMT74,...2W/Martillnintz
ODDS AND ENDS.
Tho barometer was discovered in 101.
China has about 5,000 post offices..
The railroads of Newfoundland total at
650 miles.
A pound of soap will make 25,344,000
bubbles.
The population of India is seven times
greater than that of Great Britain.
The London Stock Exchange brings to-
gether 25,000 persons daily.
Electric elevators are being introduced
with success on the underground rail-
ways of Paris.
During the last ten years the number
of immigrants into Canada exceeded 1,-
700,000.
The proportions of the Suez Canal have
been completely changed since its open-
ing.
The Union of South Africa covers 470,-
000 square miles and has a population of
almost 6,000,000.
When Your Eyes NeedCare
Try aiurine Eye Remedy. No Smarting -Peels
rine-Acts Quickly. Try it for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus-
trated Book in each Package. Murine is
compounded by our Oculists -not a."Patpnt Med-
icine"- but used in successful Physicians' Prac-
tice for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub -
no and sold by Druggists at 25e and 60o per Bottle.
Ilitirine Eye Salvo in Aseptic Tubes, 25o and 60c.
Murtha Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
Princess Fond of Outdoor Life.
Princess Mary has now come to years
of discretion, and is a very charming
young girl, bright and vivacious, fond of
outdoor life, a plucky rider and a good
whip. She has inherited the deft fingers
of the Queen, and is an expert at all
lcinds of stitenery and intricate knitting.
Three more years must elapse before
Princess Mary makes her first appear-
ance at court funotions, but when that
time comes there will probably be a good
deal o fentertaining for the young prin-
cess at Buckingham Palaco.—From the
Pall Mall Gazette.
*4w-4
Ask for MInard's and take
a -e-4
CANDIDACY.
(Pucka
A great beam was fetched, and in
moment the outer doors had been batter-
ed down. The mob, shouting fiercely,
poured into and all over the house.
.At the threshold they were met by the
very man they sought. He was pale,
but cann and dignified.
"Gentlemen," said he, in u tense voice.
"I might prolong my resistance, but in
order to avoid bloodshed 1 now Yield
myself unreservedly into your bands."
After that he stood quietly by while
they thrust the nomination upon him.
Once or twiee he shuddered slightly, but
further gave no sign of the repugnance
he felt.
no other.
• •es---er.,ssesses--- • .— •neVese="eet —*NO,
sinrs LARGEIL
14•1••••••••••••••emedne
Generation Will See Ocean Steamer
of 100,000 Tons.
Probable developments in the in.erease
zi eize of ships will form the subject -
matter of, several papers to be commun-
icated to the Twelfth International
Navigation Congrese, says the Engineer-
ing Magazine, beginning in Philadelphia
on May 23rd next. C. Leemans, of Am-
sterdam, in, his paper, will predict that
a few years will see vessels of 70,000
and 75,000 tons traversing the ship
lanes of the North Atlantic. In a gener-
ation he believes there will be ocean
leviathans of 100,000 tons plying be-
tween Europe and North Ameriea. This
size vessel, he says, will have a length
of 1,500 feet, a width of 100 feet, and
a draught of more than 50 feet: E. L.
Corthell, of New York, will also discuss
this subject at the congress. His predie-
tams are based on tables worked out
from past increases and from the econ-
omic advantages of larger ships. He be-
lieves that vessels of 1,100 feet in
length for 1948 is a modest prediction.
The future size of both merchant and
war vessels has an important bearing
en the size necessary for canals. Mr.
Corthell points out that important ship
canals should be large enough to accom-
modate the largest vessels afloat, be-
cause even the merchant vessels are
liable to be impressed into service by
their governments in time of war. When
it is completed two years henee, the
Panama Canal will be the only ship can-
al with capacity to pass the greatest
vessels afloat, Its locks will take Yes -
eels nearly 110 feet wide, more than 40
feet deep and 1,000 feet long. These di-
menelone were insisted on by the Gen-
eral Naval Board of the' United States
after the consulting board and canal
commission, had suggested a size that
already been proved inadequate.
• i
111
THIS 13 a HOME DYE
That ANYONE
can use
I dged ALL these (
KINDS
of Goods
with the SAME De.
used
4NEDYEFoRALL KINDS0Fooms
f ''
'.4ct
CLEAN elnd Sii4IPLE to Lls,
li•
NO chance of ustsw. the WRONG Dye f or the Goods
; one hes to calor. MI colors trom your Drugvist a • ;
Deeler. £RE0. Color (.rd end sToity essidetil,
'rho Johnsoo-PactuarsIson Co.. Limited, Montree!
KINDNESS REWARDED.
(Philadelphia Record.)
The other day kindnese to an opulent
old man brought a nice girl a bequest of
half a znillion dollars. Yesterday's de -
pat ches mentioned another girl who
Was equally kind, but to a less opulent
old man, and who got $15,Olk) far ft.
'Within the last year or two an extra-
ordinary number of testamentary mani-
festations of gratitude have been report-
ed to the public. We do not suppose
that kindness is becoming more corn-
rncn, but reeor,rntion of it in willa seems
to be. Really, so many of these be-
quests have been made that it seems
worth while to be kind to persons known
to have considerable wealth and suspect-
ed of susceptible dispositions. Indeed, it
would seem that there should be a great
increase in acts of kindness, as they oc-
casionally bring a more material reward
than that of which virtue is always as-
sured.
-1.-••••410—•
A WINDSOR LADY'S APPEAL
To All Women : I will send free with
full instructions. my home treatment
which positively cures Leucorrhoea.
Ulceration. Disulacements, Falling of ths
Womb. Painful or Irregular Periods,
Uterine and Ovarian Tumors or Growths,
also Hot Flusliese Nervousness, Ilifelan-
chcly. Pains in the Head, Back or Bow-
els. Kidney and Bladder Troubles, where
tal.sed by weaseateas peculiar to our sex.
You can continue treatment at home at
a coat of only about 12 cents a week.
My book. " Woman'i Own Medical Ad -
vier." also sent free on request. Write
to -clay. Address Mrs. M. Surnmers, Box
R. S. Windsor. Ont.
4e-dea
GEORGE WRIGHT.
(Montreal Herald.)
The wifl of the late George Wright, or
Halifax, formerly a frequent and valued
correspondent of the Herald on the sub-
ject os theatrical decency and general
purity of language, puts an even nobler
aspect upon his Iii -work than his own
writings were able to do. He could
have found no better institution than the
Local Council of Women to uphold the
ideals for which he strove, and if the
People of Halirax fail to supplement his
other bequest for a building 'for a high-
er form of amusement" they will be
showing themselves singularly unappre-
ciative of the memory of one of their
most useful citizens.
WRITE FOR
PROOF
R ES
PURIFICO
GANGER AND TUMOR
Canadian Brandi: Purilico Coq Bridgeburg, Ont,
THE VIRGINIA REEL.
At almost all children's parties they
finish up with it dance which in America
is called the Virginian reel and in Eng-
land Sir Roger de Coverly. Grown peo-
ple are just as fond of this dance as
the youngsters, but it naturally be-
longs to the children, as the idea of it
was taken from a very old children's
game allied the shepherdess, which is
still very popular in France.
The children form a line and then the
leader tands a. little to the left and
the next caitd a little to the right and
they raise their hands as high as their
heads and forii a barrier, which all the
sheep must pass through. The next
child in line becomes the shepherdess
and calls to her little lambs to follow
her through the barrier, which they do
while singing a little French song.
After the last sheep has passed safely
under the two ehildren that formed the
barrier drop into line at the end, and
the two at the head of the line form
the next barrier and so on, until every
child has had a turn at beieg part of
the barrier for the others to pass un-
der.
tokeisellieelikeillime••••••••••iseasmemer.
MINNIE, MUM.
(Exchange.)
A coalowner's wife was engaging a
Maid, and the applicant for the position
seemed satisfactory SJ far as appear -
areas and references wore concerned.
The mistress, about to appoint the dam-
sel, said; "By the way, what is your
name?"
"Minnie, mum," she replied,
"Oh; go away," said the eoalowiter's
Wife„ s'and never let,, me see you any
mere."
•••••••••••
Whenever you feel a headache coming on take
NA -DRU -CO Headache Wafers
They stop headaches promptly and surely. Do not contain
opium, morphine, phenacetin, acetanilid or other dangerous
drugs. 25o. a box at your Druggist's, 121
NATIONAL DRUG AND CHEMICAL co. or CANADA, WAITED.
•neseVaslielbs.......••........?•,••••••••••••••••••
vsoossOsw•••00
,- • sa
e --e•e•ee. ssee-•mose•-eelesseee,,•••••eeer.••• •
ISSUE NO. 21, 1912
FARMS FOR SALE.
Wesesefteass"AoheeN~ssh^rWeesee**WhIssisWeAse
OR 13tl,14.1—CI1EAP, 'UNDER MORT-
11 gage, (0 acre farm; easy terms; only
20 (loan; immediate posseesion. London
& 'Savings (o., London, Ont.
...
ANT) SLAPITYlar—fINVEST
your money in first rnorte
gages on Western land.
We net you six per cent.
0 yearly, clear ee expense.
Write for Information
and refereaces.
Davis & It/McIntyre, Moose Jaw, Sask.
SHORTHAND AT YOUR HOME.
It is simple. Easy
to learn. Easy to write. Easy to read. School
Children learn ha a week.
55.00 for Complete Course
including Text Book. WRITE AT ONCE.
COLUMBUS SHORTHAND Hawthorn
CORRESPONDENCE COLLEGE Oat.
The Famous ett.mp-Licking Dog.
Tames 13. Damm, the famous atamp-
a real dog—a brindle
1 i cIkei sn.te jdaokt e, si s Bs! c iks.
bull—of the bowleggedest, most under -
sten jaw and the ugliest faced (dog fan -
morning you might have seen him follow
ing C. ta Young, the State water analyst,
to his laboratory. At the laboratory he
made his nest in an unused locker.
But Jimmy wasalt there merely for
*looke. He had a specific job, and ac-
cording to his ability he ehould have atad
his place In the "who's who" of the
school directory.
When bottles were to be labeled Jimmy
would emerge from his hole at the snap
of Young's fingers, obediently stuck out
bis tongue and neatly and cleverly tick
the label extended to them.
But the combination of glucose and
cow's hoofs on the label is not the best
come off anidiesstuck a inthat,otfl rool adt, c af tosr
Jimmy now
with a goitre on his neck swathed in
bandages of cotton and cold creani.
No dog need apply for the position un-
less he is an expert stamp licker.—Kan-
*as City journal.
.C: 4:
GREAT INDULGENCE..
She was a suffragette and her friend
likewise belonged to the same peaceful
order of Eaglish citizens. So, of course,
their views were. in agreement. .There
was one pittle point, however, to Near
up. "I am informed," said Oile severely,
"that you actually permit your heel) Led
to carry a latchkey. I really shoulin't
have thought it possible. Can it be
true?" "Yes, quite true," answered the
other, with a grim smile. "I do let the
poor boy carry a latchkey, but it doesn't
fit the door. I just let him carry it
around. to humor him. He shows it to
his friends now and then, and it makes
them think he's independent."
Minard's liniment Co., Limited.
1 was very sick with Quinsy a nd
thoneht T would strangle. 1 used MON-
ARD'S LINIMENT and it cured me at
once.
I am never without it now.
Yours gratefully,
MRS. D. C. PRINCE.
Nauwigewauk, Oct. 219t,
CHINESE DOCTORS.
"Chinese physicians are popular with
women itt our city', said a doctor from
California. "Their method of diagnos-
is is very simple. _e. woman tells a Chi-
nese doctor where she has a pain and he
feels hey pulee—nothing more. men he
tells her for how many thousand years
his -race. has understood the human body
and mind. This makes a great impres-
sion upon the woman patient and she goes
forth with great faith in the learned
Chinese and the medicine he has given
her, which is usually harmless enough,
but not to be found among tbe remedies
approved by materia medic -a.
'However, the Chinese doctors are
clever, and they do affeeL some cures in
spite of their medicine. Lay it, perhape,
to the mental effect—the subtle influence
of an alien personality combined with an
awe of learning outrunning the oldest in
America by so many hundreds of cen-
turies.
1•••••-4
Minard's Liniment used by Physicians
-1.•••••••.•*•••••••••••••••••••••
Eagle Tries to Carry Away Boy.
An eagle, measuring 7 feet from tip
to tip of wings, created a eensation near
Concord, Cote late Wednesday afternoon
when it suddenly swooped down on Ed.
Parks, a negro boy, and sought to carry
him off.
If it had not been for the size of the
boy he would undoubtedly have been
lifted away by the eagle; and, as it was,
those who went to its assistance had
much trouble in prying loose the talons
of the big bird.
The tremendous bird fought hard, and
Parks, with much difficulty, •preserved
his eyes. Finally, however, he got a
strangle bold on the big bald eagle and
subdued lam. He was able to carry the
eagle home alive, and now has him tied
to a tree with a plough Rec.—From the
Atlanta Constitution.
a
-;
',er•aels'e
SOMETHING ABOUT KEROSENE.,
Marko on tables caused by hot dishes
May be removed by kerosene rubbed .11
well wit ha soft cloth. finishing With a.
little wlogne water rubbed dry, will an-
"helfeilostihv.
Wering the final polish to stoves,
before putting away for the surnmearnix
the blacking with a little kerosene In-
stead of water to prevent rust.
Tarnished paint may be cleaned by
rubbing with a cloth wet with kerosene.
Black walnut or any Wood finished In
ketisernea.
proo
oil may be kept bright by polishing it-ith
teaspoonful of kerosene into
each quart of boiled starch, for a glow
thie will also prevent irons sticking to
thingereane
Kerosene will brighten silver.
Rub lamp chimneys with newspaper
on which has been poured a little kero-
sene. This will make them mueh clear-
er than if soap is used; they will also be
rom steel rub with
lkee;;soo sl eiranebmel, eo vatenod rcursasotcalkci
tor a day, polishing
with emery dust and kerosene.
Rub rustly flatirons with kerosene.
Kerosene will soften boots and slaoes
hp al iradbel ne e as
s bnye ater, and render them Ile
Brighten zinc with kerosene.
A tablespoonful of kerosene in a boil-
er of clothes Will greatly facilitate the
rubtiuIron &and polished steel, when not tit
use, may be kept from rusting by wip
ing with a cloth on which a little kero-
seen has been poured.
011 cloth may he brightened by rub-
bing with kerosene.
All soiled spots found around door-
knobs, on light -painted doors .may be
removed by keroseen on flannel cloth,
with no Injury to the paint.
Kerosene poured on red flannel and
found on the throat, will greatly ease a
sore throat. It will ciao heal cuts and
wire chilblains.
Maypole Soap
CLEANS
AND DYES
Gives rich glowing
colors. fadeless in sun
or suds. Dyes cotton,
silk. wool (anti:hues.
Use it yourself at
home. NO trouble --
no rauss. 24 colors—
will give any shade.
ColerslOc,black I5c,
at your dealer's or
postpaid with booklet
"How to Dye" horn
F. L BENEDICT & CO, filentrell
rafte•eels
FAVORITE FICTION.e , 4
•
(Exchange.) I
"Fresh Roasted Peanuts."
"Vote for Boggles, the People's Candi-
date."
"Lots in This Subdivision Are Going
Like Hot Cakes; Better Buy Now."
"Refined Vaudeville."
"Yes, I Play Poker Occasionally, Just
to Pass the Time Away."
"There Has Been a Slight Accident on
Our Road, But We Have No Particulars
Yet."
"The 13riclegrom is Well and Favorably
Known Here, and the Bride is One of the
Looellest and Most Popular Young Lad-
ies in Our City."
"Every Possible Pzecaution is Taken
for the Safety and Comfort of Passen-
gers on Our Line."
• ea
Liniment Lumberman's
Minard's
Friend,
HE YIELDED.
(The Commoner.)
During a local election in a German
town only one man appeared at the nom-
ination desk.
"Whom do you nominte?" inquired the
official.
'aiyself, ' was the answer.
"Do you accept the nomination?"
nmust try again, Wbom do
you nominate?' no."
ate,
::"Mystaccept the nomination?"
"'No."
A subdued "Donnerwetter!" escaped
the lips of the perplexed offlcial, but he
vient on:
"For the third time, whom do you
nominate?"
"Myself,' came the Invariable reply.
"Do you s.ceept the nomination?"
The man rose with a smile of satisfae-
Umu spreading over his face and he an-
swered proudly: "Having been three
times solicited by my fellow citizens to
accept the nomination, I can no longer
decline to accede to their wishes."
I • •• • • 1 I • s
Old Sores. Luinpa
its Taressa Orowtha
removed and heal.
ed by a simple
Home Treatment
No pain. Describe the trouble, we will send
book and testimonials free.
irat CANADA CANCER INSTITUTE. Limited
10 Churchill Ave., Throat..
THE ULTIMATE CONSUMER. ,
(Philadelphia Record.)
The ultimate eonsumer should find hie
ultimate lesson after a conversati'm with
hie wife. She will tell him, if she keeps
track of the marketing, that when she
buys a parcel of canned sauerkraut she
is obliged to pay a 52 per cent. profit to
the retailer. This will make the_ultimato
consumer scratch his head and dig therrs-4
from the ultimate, conclusion. lie wilt
tell his wife: "My dear, we must go
back to the soil and raise our own sauer-
kraut, There are too niany of us buy-
ing sauerkraut and too few selling it."
Keep Minard's Liniment in the house.
•
READY MADE FARMS.
(13uffalo Times.)
It is Stated that because of the succese
of the "ready made farms" on the irri-
gated tract the plan has been extended
to 'British Columbia, and there will be
prepared this year for settlement a num-
ber of "ready made" fruit farms in the
Columbia and Kootenay valleys. These
faints will average ten acres in extent
and will have a house, barn, fences er-
ected and land cleared ready for plant-
ing, but will not be restricted to British
settlers only, as are the farms in Al-
berta. Experimental farms will be main-
-Wined in the different colonies to sup-
ply incoming settlers with bearing fruit
tree* and vegetables.
"fp
Try it—test it—see for yourself that "St. Lawrence
Granulated" is as choice a sugar as money can buy.
Get a too pound bag—or even a 2o pound bag --and compare
"St. Lawrence" with any other high-grade
granulated sugar.
Note the pure white color of "St. Lawrence' —ite
uniform grain—its diamond -like sparkle ---its match-
less sweetness. These are the sigtas of quality.
And Prof, Hersey's analysis is the proof of purity
—"99 99/100 to t00% of pure cane auger with no
impurities whatever". Insist ou laying "ST.
LAWRENCIt GIUNITI,ATAD" at your grotto's.
ST. LAWRENCE SUGAR RE1130114 C411.0 UMW%
morcraw. 66