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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance, 1908-04-16, Page 6ti Monehhaueen on a Cracker Bar'!. "I grableel tat b'ar," sap Um. lke, Down to Mire grueery store. "An' ez I held it, lookin* rotted, 1 joekal 'Thar stood this more! "An! jest behind. nen, 1,4.1.0ot:hire low, lae them 'ar critters do, Jeet 'fore thy ik rowing to elusw you up,. J. Been a, panther too! "Ez I was gazin' at that beaela Ana wona'riza at ld size. Off to hie left I !see three great Big wolves, with Statile eyes! "WW1, shucks!' says I. 'I've got on band A job o' quite some heft!' But I vitiated in an' raeeellea all Them erittere, right ale left. "I grabbed an' yanketl an' seuffled A.round an' down an' up, An' Jugged aunt glarin' varmint off Dead aea pizened pup!" Then Deacon Pennington be riz, An', vexect r VONA. (.11.1ti1 110, Re shuck his fist lit roele Ike, An' hollerin' out, :aye lie: "Ike Sinatton, et whar liars has Their portion all is true, That burnba Inimstone lake won't ne Half hot enough for you!" The Deacon'a fiat it 'quivered nigh The tip V Isaat's now, But. Uncle Ike jeat mildly says, "I never did suppose, "Till I helped move that museyum, An' at 'em togged an' puffed, That \annulate sech ez them could be So true to natur' stuffed!" A Tete -a -Tete With Pa. My pa, he didn't go to town Last evening after tea, But got a book and settled down As comfy as could be. I'll tell you I wae. awful glad To have my pa bout To answer all the things I had Been tryin' to find out. And so I asked him why the world • Is round, instead of square, And why the piggies' tails are curled, , And why don't fish breathe air? • And why the moon don't bit a star And why the dark is black, And just bow many birds there are, And will the wind come back? And why does water etay in wells, - And why do June bugs limn, .And what's the roar I hear inshells, And when will Christmas come? And why the, grass is always green Instead of sometimes blue, And why a bean will grow a bean, And not an apple, too? And why a horse can't learn to moo, And why a cow can't neigh? And do the fairies live on dew, And what makes hair grow gray? And then my pa got up and, gee! I hadn't done a thing, but he Jest sent me of to bed. - APRIL. •The gray hawk wheels in sunny sheen; The new sap throbs through trunk ana bough; ----Earth wears a diadem of greens Upon her brow. The quick blood fills each swelling vein, Yearning to rush with wind and brook; It knows the sign of pooaetarred plain And building rook. What of the past?—its woes are naught; The future days t—dear filmy dreams, The eurilight's mesh of yellow caught By ?muting streams. —S. .A. White, in the Canadian Maga zine. EASTER DAWN: Awake, 0 earth! the rose of dawn Flames softly over Olivet, The night of pain and death has gone, The air is, full of fragrance drawn From blossoms of the thorn, dew -Wet; Awake, 0 earthawake and. greet The day and all iebritgs to thee— Love's crowning triumph, full, com- plete; Awake and sing with raptnre sweet Thy swig of Immortality! .Awake., 0 earth1 the rose of dawn Flames softly over Otivet. —Jean Iliewett, in the Canadian Maga- azine. Her Fourth Birthday. Lolly had a lovely party-- 'Twas her fourth bialulay, you loose; All tha peens were quite young ladies, Children were not asked to go; You intty think it odd when told Dolly' e friends are all so old! Not a game was played; the guests just Chatted, as they do at calls; No one brought a to or gift, and Dolly doesn't care for dolls -- All sucli things. she put away Long before her foutta. birthday! But T. quite forgot to mention, One impotent fact, my dears; Dolly has a birthday only Onee in every four long years! So, though only four she' a seen, Dolly's age is sweet sixteen. —Little Ulm An Open Shep. The labor unions of Chicago have purchased a cemetery where only the members of the union may be buried. All tea lire 10 a union shop, He earned his daily bread: They burled hire in a union grave, Whelk the union Irian was dead. Tin had et union doctor, Atli' Ito bad a unMn nurse: Ile had a union coffin, And be had a union bear. They put him in 4 union grave, When he waa good and dead: They put up a union monument Just above bis lead. And then he went to heaven, But to stay bo didn't enre: It kicked beeause be eatil that some :sloe -union men were there. 114, went down to tire other nia6e And there uredues4 Itia card: 'Then Satan threw en earnest face And studied gond and hard. And then he laughed, his bande did rub Till he thought he'd never step: "Lord Mops your soul," said nteszebeb,,. "Why this 13 an open :shop." —Baehatige. TO the. Point. Ehletly Annt yon wondered, dear little Irene, who 1 left sent en, ebruntly lit the lane. t man, and hole T rani 'genes -Dal vial retell hins?---Vliegerole Metter (16111e11). "1.11100410"40nerill.$110******Iisoot Itameatowittinngliineeldlk"tinotellak*Ailliest. USURPER Seollease$,IkagainepaallettlaniXasnell CHAPTER II. Two days pluestal --four ilays—atul Ne - vino Lynne was still 0 ids had not been down to the camp, no oue had Moo up to him since the doetor bait paid him the visit. Ile hall heard notle, mg of the death and, burial of the man, the • streuger; and solitary ;sod alone but for the old semen, ISIrs‘ Meth, be toiled on at his barren claim. Sometimes wben the heat and the flies antl the anst seemed worse than usual, lie pitthed the. pi& and the spacle-as far as be could, and flung himself on itis beek and lay with ids hands over his ea -ease -not asleep, but thinking. Thinking no doubt 0 his home far away in England; of the relatives and friends he might never see again; of the dear old home in the soft, luscioua green fielne in Devonshire; he used to think it rather a Sloppy place And had been wont to declare that it always rain- ed there, What would lie give for a De- vonshire downpour now. A young man, a geutleman, dressed in rags, who lins had a cruet of dry—very dry—bread for breakfast, an4 is 'rather uncertain as to whether it will nun to quite such an ex. • tensive feed for dinner—a young man ao utterly and completely down on his luck as Neville Lynne has plenty to think of. • The old hag came up shuffling—near- I3' everybody shuffled in Lorn Camp it was found to be leas exhausting than walking in the proper Christian manner —and shook an empty meal bag at him. "This yere bagat empty, 'young 'up," she said, not complainingly, but ea if she were stating a matter of fact, "So 11 18; so am I; so are you," said Neville, quietly; "and so is. the elaim." But he got up and fetched his pick and spade and dropped into the hole again, This was soon after noon on the fourth day after the doctor's visit. Ile had grown to hate the sight of the hole, the tools, the very sand and pebbles which he painfully east up to the surface and after digging for an hour he looked up and laughed. "Yes," he said. "It's pinyed out, as the Doe said, and I'm off.. But where." He looked absentl round the -plain,. "To some other camp, I auppose. No use go- ing back to England without money;" better stop heye where it isn't wicked to wear old clothes •and go barefoot. Pov- erty's a crime in England, and 1 shoula be punished. Besides," he wiped the sweat from his brow and bis handsome face clouded. "I couldn't face them; couldn't face Jordan's sneer. NoI not 'England!" Then he sighed, The old woman Mlle CTO0Waril bag. tothehole again, and shook the meal "This yere'a empty as a drum!" she croaked. Neville got out of the pit slowly, and walked to the hut, unlocked the box and took out a silver pencil -case, value probably two and ninepence. "My last pieee of plate, Meth," he said, with a short laugh, "Take it down to the camp and swap it for meal, Some- body who can't write may take a faney to it." • The old WOI11411 clutched at it with her grimy claw—everyland in Lorn Hope was moreor leas grimy; general- ly more—and shuffled off toward tbe camp. Neville went slowly back to his claim and took up the pick. "Yes," he said, "the Doc was right; Lorn Hope is played out. I might to have cut it with my partner. Now, look here, Pll take just six strokes, and then —good -by and be blowed to you!" He raised the pick above his head, and struck to the right of him. Once, twice, thrice, four, five times. A cloud of red dust, a heap of stones—as suual. He held the pick poised, a grim smile on his un -browned lips. "The sixth and very last, so belp Inc heaven!" - Down came tbe pickom went the dust, down rattled the stones. He scarcely looked at the heap, but let the pick fall, and turned to leap from the hole. As be did so the corner of his eye, the corner only, 'Caught the sweet, the precious, the dear, dull glitter, which is the grandest light earth holds for a digger's eyes. He swung round, dropped on his knees, and *clawing at the heap with his hands drag- ged out—a nugget. The sudden turn of the wheel. of ftr- tune stunned him for a moment. It was so unexpected, so unlooked for, that he could not believe' in .it. He took it tap and weighed it in both hands. In nine months a digger learns soinetbing 0 the value of a nugget. Ne- ville thought there must be over a thou- sand pounds in the one he held in his hat trembling hands. He turned it over ae a sallow turn over hie title deeds, aa bibliomaniae his rare first edition'a numismatist his precious "eoin; he held it dose to his eyes, strok- ed it, even smelled it. Over it thousand pounds! He sank down in the pit, leaning against the. side, and still with his eye.s, fixed on it, thought of what lie would do with it. It was not a fortune. By no means'. But a thousand pounds, remember, is a large sum to fall into the hands of a youngster of nineteen especially when a few minutes before :his only valuable was a silver pencil case—which he had parted with for meal! With a thousand pounds he tould go back to Rugland, if not rich, as riches are counted, yet at any rate, not a beg- gar. Jordan—no one—would laugh or sneer at him. A thousand Pounds. Ito oettld buy laud -a small farm in Devon- shire, end rear eattle. He could—at, tiny rate, he could get out of this beaetly, tunantitten, plage-stricken, blackguard - haunted Limn Hope. The thought recalled him tO himself, sent the fire through his veins, indued him with energy, strength, hope, spirit, He leaped—not climbed—out of the pit with the precious nugget hidden ender his tattered shirt, end rah toward the lint and begat turtling out the contents of his box, flinging the things to right and ion iu o sensekes kind of fashion. Whet he was trying to do was to look out some more decent apparel. The old woman darkened the doorway. "This yereni all I ran get," the croak- ed, holding up the bag, in the bottom of which wee some meal. nTitin't much, 'toilet half enough, but there don't eeem no run on pentinetiees," Nevilie tattled hie glotving fisee lig to her Wrinkiotl, weakened one, "All sights Meth!" he said, with n. limb in his voiee, all right! PVC struek it!" And he held up the nugget. "IMAM" for the ohl svoman had littered a suppressed sereeell. "Struck it _just now, five minutee, halt en hour-----" Ite didn't know how long.- he liati been sit- ting hi the pit starieg at the tingget. "chat 4ftfl* you had gone. Grand, isn't IV" "lankal Pt t" mumbled the old wri- tten. "To la. ink e.f it! And 14(1. 'et' bet tuy bottein duller that there witrn's rialsaletit'etibe•OV"loar41,411116set spark of yellow in thewhole claire." "That's just iti Tbat's just the way Of it," said Neville, rapidly, "It always coulee when you don't expect it, when you're not looking for it, That's the charm of this confounded gold -digging boixiisniigse*sr, But it's come, that's the mein "Let's wet it." &uid Mra. Meth. Neville ralced inside the box. "Sorry. Gave the DM the last drop 0 liquor I bad. Never mind, Meth. a'ent shall have enougli to swim into -morrow. Let me see, This is the 10th, isn't it? Yes, The day the bank agent comes down. I'll take it dove to the camp and swap it for notes, and then—» He drew a long breath. "And then you're off," said Mrs. Metb, • stirring up the fire with one band and • turning out the meal on to a board with • ytIti::71:::teinte,ri'm off, as you say," he assent - en, "No more Loris Hope for me, thank i'There might be mare where that cense from," she eroaked, pointing 4 skinny finger at the yellow nugget lying • beside him, within reach 0 hie, hand, He shook bis head. "No; it's just a porket, Meth. X know the look of if. And if there were—Well, don't think it would keep ate! I'm sick of it—just sick of it. I want to go back. Vrn homesiolc—do you understand, Meth?" Old Meth, rapidly making ate meal Into cakes, nodded. "That's it," he said. "Homesick. Got the English fever on me, Meth. You don't know what that means. Lucky for you, perhaps. What's the time?" Ile sprang up and screening his eyes with • bis hand, looked at the sinking sun. "Tbe bank agent will be •down at the camp, I should think. I'M off," "Yon'd best stop and get a cup of tea and some'ut to eat," said the old woman, "You go rushing down there with that there nugget on an empty stomach, and they'll get thebest of you, young sm." Ile laughed and pusbed the short eurly hair from his forehead. "You speak the Words of wisdom and of truth, old Meth," he said. "I'll stay for tea, Aud, look here, I mean the square thing by you. You've stood by me through a long run of luck." "That's nothing," she eaid, shifting the boiling kettle from the fire. "But it ia and Pll ;deed by you, Meth. You shall have—let me see—you shall have fifty pounds," "Fifty poundal" She epened her bps and showed her toothless gams. "Yes," he said. "And if my partner were here he should have half of it—the nugget, I mean. But he chucked it up." "All the better for you," said the old W01114.11, With a grin. Neville nodded. • "Yes; a,nd I wish he'd hung on. It's strange that I should have stayed." "You believed in your luck, young un," she croaked, "Nothing like sticking to your luck. Here's your tea; and here's a cake." He .drank the awful mixture of cur- rant bush and iron filings and ate some of the hot meal cake. Your gold. digges knowns not indigestion. "Fifty pounds," he said, as lie set the tin mug down on the top of the box. "That will give you a fresh start, eh, Meth?" She laughed and crooned. Ile washed himself, thrust on a light peisjacket, and With the precious nugget hidden beneath it, left the hut. A new moon was rising placidly above the mountain range, its faintly defined crescent shining,feebly against the light from the west In which the sun had sunk surrounded by golden fire. Neville didn't stop to admire or even notice the moon; but with the nugget preased close to his heart, walked rap- idly toward the camp. Ho passed his claim, glancing at it as it man glanges at a nuteh-loved mistress, picked his way past Many a similar hole, threaded the tents and shanties which formed the outposts of the camp and presently neared the centre—Sandy Mc- Gregoi's grog tent. It was it larger tent than the rest, and Neville as he approached it saw the lights of the candles and benzoline lamps shininr through it. He also heard the buzz and murmur of voices. They float, ed through the evening air, still thick and heavy with the remnant 0 the day's heat, ' Ile trod lightly, springily, draw- ing etrength and energy fronabe nugget pressed against his breast, He knew that the bank agent, if he bad arrived, would be Omen there, and in imagination he al- ready held a.ncl counted the precious notes which he wouldreceive in exchange tnr his nugget. He paused as he reached the tent, and aratvlug the lump of .virgin gold from its hiding place, to take a last look at it! A. thousand poundal Away Lew his thoughts. England! Dear, sweet, green, smiling England; a farm, lowing cattle, green fields! Home! Ohl you disco*. tented ones Who dwell at home in the clear old hind, and grumble at the wea- ther atutathe this. that and the other, if you only knew how the wanderer longs for halite, hone! The flap of the tent, door was thrown back; he drew near ansi looked it. Sandy was standing at the bar, be- hind, a counter of rough deal, The place Was fall, but the men were not sitting and speawling around, playing earths or quarrelling, but standing in it crowd, with all their fates tarried toward the end of the tent. Something unusual and out of the or- dinary was going on, Neville drew nearer and looked farther in. . Be saw, at the ena of the big tent, it inan standing on an upturned barrel, Ile was the spokesman of Lore Hope, 4 he'etado-teell with tbe gift of the 'gab, st. 'Wall named Loeleit, otid wee evidently holaing teeth, Ile stood, tagged and with unkempt hair, and long, begleeted beard, a till etie in one hand, the other bola up to invoke Sliellee‘;' N11e, 'miens but impatient, litten- ed. And this is --what lie heard: "NoW, pawls," the orator was saying, "thie yene's the wee in it nutshell: A stranger tomes to thie earep, tomtit hero hone no one knows where or how, tick and sorry-, and this .yere stranger, after receivie every attention from our muttiel friend, the "Three cheese for the Doe!'" eried Yoke, thiek with Meagregoee Whiskey; followed by "Shut imi Turn it offl" 'Aries reeelvlif every attention from the Doe," eontinued the orator, "thin . yell stranger hands In hie e'hoOks. It ain't an unuettal proceedin Loris Hope hy• no Titoism -2' "A Ma= more honored in the breech than the observance," catio1 out the doe - or, eeahat's Shakeepeare, boys," "Itiglit you tsee, Doe, and yen ought to know," was the Sleeted response. "Orderi" said the speaker on the bran rel. '"Ihis t ere etituteer nt' lu4 raw, and upon my mortal soul, it's the heat thing be eould do," "'HMI hear I" "There's no luck in lawn Hope for the residents,, leave alone stronger, boys." "Hear! /mart" with increased emplues "The stranger goes," continued the or - atm., "but he leaves taimething more than bis blessing /seined. Boys, he leavea a child—a girl. And now, gertlemen, the question forthis free and independent ftmemblage of Loru Hope citizens is to decide what shall be clone witlx that v1149Itnear hear! Thetie the question," hiccougned It miner close to the entrance, against which Neville stood Ana watched, and listened, "Notlihde known of this yore etrenger," resumed Lockit. "He don't leave no will and he don't express no wish, arid it's left to the—the—be sought for a big and appropriate word, ann tonna it at last— "for the collective wisdom of Lorn Hope to decide. Ileee's the Doc. He wea with the stranger in his last moments anti he's offered to take the ehild; but"—the speaker paueed—"it 'pears to me that the Doe has as much as he can do te look after himself," "Hoer! hearl hear!" from all parts of the audience. "Just sol Well, thia "yere childi a 144 at present, but she'll grow up to be useful presently, and if any one wants a promising young un, as can be taught to cook and look after things, now's his chance. A hubbub of .voices arose, almost drowning the speaker's last words, and itt the midst of Gun noise Neville made his entranee withent attracting any at- tention. Hi looked round the tent. It wa,o filled with the Lorn Hope population— man, boy, woman. His brieit young eye fell ultimately upon a group standing just beneath the orator, There were three or four women, and. in their midst a young •girl with gray eyes and dark hair. She looked half dazed with fear, and clung to one of the women .with one hand, while the other held back the thick wealth of hair from her puzzled and frightened eyes. The fate, the eyes, smote Neville like a blow. Ile saw the bank agent sitting on a plank and watching the proceedings with a smile of indolent amusement, but even as he looked at the agent he .forgot him; the girl's -pale, frightened face tits°Mated, absorbed him. • "Here's this young air1," resumed' the orator, ad -going beggm , as you may say. Now, who "I'll take her1 I'll take her!" rose from different parts of the crowd. "Too many of 'you!" retiorted the speaker, tossing -off e: draught of Mac- gregor's: whisky and chucking the empty tin to the, proprietor of the saloon, •"Ons at a time. You can't all of you heve the young orpban. 'What's to he "Thed°c11ulhighest (hest bidder has her." her up for sale," cried a voice. The orator paused a moment, and sowed to consider the proposal; then he nodded. "Right you ,are," he said; "that's fair and square. Here's a useful lot—a young 'girl that'll learn to wash and cook before yeu canseay Jack Robinson; a sunbeam for any man's home, let him. be whomsoever he may. Who bids for the orphan?" , The girl looked. round at the hot, sun- burned faces and her breath coming fast and thide, clung still tighter to the woman nearest to her, and the woman tried to soothe her. The bank agent, smoking a big- cigar, looked on with a smile. He was accus- tomed to the rough humor of a digger's camp, .but it had been reserved for Lorn Hope to afford 0 new excitement. The same reminded him of the "good" old slave times in the States. "No vi, thee 1" shouted the -auctioneer. "Here's the roles and regulations, The orphan to be disposed of to the highest bidder." "What aro you going to do with the money?" demanded a voice. Locait considered a moment. "We'll hand it to the doctor as the beginning of a fund for the Great Lorn Hope Hospital." "A jail 'utl be more useful," comment, ed some one, sarcastically. "Or a cemetery and lunatic asylum combined," yelled another. "As you please, pads," said Lockit, "We can decide what we'll do with the money after we've got it. Jail, conetery, hospital,' "Or drinks all vound,"," put in a voice. "Whatever you like. Now, then, the Bret bid, Mind, the money's no Ose without a eonifortable home and a good clurraeters 'understand that. This yere orphan is the ward 0 Lorn Hope Camp. Now,then, first bid!" aue men looked round at each other and laughed half shyly, no one liking to make the Bret offer. • "Whatl I'm to start the ruoning eh?" Said the auetioneer. "All right." He took ant some buttons and odds and ends frotu his pocket, and pretendea to count over a large quantity of coin. "Well, to start you, hete's a shilling." Soinebody, half in jest, shouted; "Olio and sixpence." 'Ila bail was started and ran merrily. By sixpences and shillings and au occaa gond half crown."Nthe bidding was run tip to three pounds. Three men 0114 ' Were bidding, and presently with n laugh one dropped out, leaving the contest to the tUto. Just .as Lockit was, in burlesque imi- tation of an auctioneer, exhorting these two, Neville felt some one push past him wed saw that it Vat Lavarick. He had come into the tent in his usual steelthy fasnion, and stood, his eyes fix- ed—the left, with the cast, on the girl, the other oft the men, Neville disliked the "num, suspected him of being the worst ecosindrel in the mint). and instinetively put his hand over that; part, of his Oat which covered his nugget, (To be egatioued.) Abrnham Linteln't Mather . - She taught Mtn to yell and read. "She instrueted him in various ways. She was a most excellent Christian "inSliftll e;ead to them every day front the Bible. tittle Abe learned to read that ,A6 might do this.' She taught hito to be klea to Wheals as well as people. She cookea him appetizing nimbi front otheorne his father had taught hint to, ho Ibs eatly leaned front her tonetant teething to be bonost Ana uptight,Itt short, to obey the Golden Rule. When, during her illness, she fennel she could not line she told biro that ho must keep God's; day holy, tell the troth invariably, Avoid all profane words, rend n oftepter 0 the ilible daily and say his ptayere night' eft* moaning. THE GRAVV Or -HANNIBAL Arehaetilogist Ciente to Have Foninl. It Amid Byzantine Ruins. A.ecording to the Frankfurter Zeitung, the well-known German arelmeologiet, Theodor Wiegand, claims to have covered the krave 0 ihkuoibia in the, neighborhood 0 the aueient Bithyrtian town of Libyeen, on a hill gaited Hand - The fragments of line nimble eolorana and ancient walla, evidently the reit:eine of a large monument, in the midst 0 the ruins of a Byzantine monastery, have led him to thist coneausion, The althaeologista of his own esolintrY, however, ftEi well tte these of Englaud. and France, seem disposed to receive his. eleinis with extreme eaution, Perlinns wben Professor Wiegand has given the public fuller and more exeet data re- garcling his discovery ins fellow-antiquar. ies may grant lano 41, heartier support, S•hi•l011 t_hetrsyhairpet Qnstacgoilaugri! • d„Irse Shiloh's Cure sfor the worst Ohl, antee of your money back if it doesn't actually ODRE quicker Ca• nt): in baby y toSidS take,--tin(theefri Mai than anything you ever tried. Safe to ssvicoesh,:olattmrend QU•ICKLY• Cure Cures 25e., 50c„ $1. 2ie.1 Had Lots of Business. S. T, Joeelyn, 1 Withita, was court stenographer for Judge Pancoast, of Oklahoma, aor several years. One tiro,e a case was being -tried before judge Pan- coast and they were endeavoring to find out through a witness whether there had been any -liquor sold, "What is your bueiness?" asked the lawyer. "My business," repeated the witness laconically, "Oh, I have lots of business." "Answer the questions" said the law- yer. "Must I tell all my business?" insisted the witness again, "Answer the question," interposed the dud e severely, ell," responded he, cheerfully, "I'm . deputy sheriff and city marshal for Outli- er, janitor of the Methodist Murals and bartender of the El Paso saloon."—From theXansas City Times. FREE send us your name and address for 12 pieces of Jewelry to sell at 10 coots eaoh. Whou sold send us the flRINGS. Wo trust you wl the Jewelry and all send Leo and vrowillsond you these TWO sown GOLDied 11*11 talurftesp4111. Bowl us your Ammo and add rem ow. STAR AlPa. CO.,20 UoifitePROVID2110E.B.1„17.0.a, Sympathy. "It's a serious thing, Verena," sighed Mrs. akenore, "to be the wife of a Man who holds a public office. It demands so muchof his time and keeps him away from his hem." "I know just how you feel, ma'am," said the elderly domestic. "My first ; husband was the grand imperial outside • guard of the Amalgamated and' Solidi- fied Order of' leuzzy Guzzies, and some- times he was that buoy tryin' to remem- ber the signs and grips that I couldn't get a word out of hin all day long." .0, Bulk tem rutty leave the dealer a larg- er profit, but '"SaladeaTeta (packed in sealed lead packages) leaves it lasting. and favorable impression :upon the pal- ates of all giving it a trial. Hence its enormous sale. • • * Pension for Descendant of Burns. Mr. Xantes 'Glencairn Thomson, lila only surviving grandson 0 Robert Burns, is now in his eightieth year and has been in somewhat reduced, circumstances for some time. Efforts arc being made to get him a civil list pension and thus place him in the position of the .poet's granddaughters, Mrs. Sarah Burns Hutchinson and MiS6 Annie Beckett Burns of Chel- tenham, who each receive civil list psnsions of £100 in consideration of their grandfather's undying fame.— iron the London Globe. What bid He Mean? On reaching a certain spot the driver turned round on his seat and observed to the passengers: "Froffsthis point the road is only ass- cessible to mules and donkeys; I must therefore ask the gentlemen to get out and proceed on foot,"—The Catholic News.. •••••,..p. 0111•011.11111 Proof Is inexhaustible .that - Lydia E. .Pihkhanes Veg:etable. Compound elites fentale ills .atul ou:ries women safely through the (Mange of Life. Mrs. Letitia. Blair C=60140141 Writes to Mrs. Pinklatun: . I was sick for five yeast. One doc- tor told tie it was iticeration,..mta an- othor told ind it Was a fibroid tumor, and advised an operation. No ono khOWs What I .suffered, -and the bear- ing .dowd pains wore terrible, "1 wrote to my sister about 11 and she advised Inc to take Lydia E. .Pinkhatta's Vegetable Compound. iret.eured MO of all my troubles, and I did not.have to have the opera- tion after all. The Compound also helped me to pats safely through chanted of Life," FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN., POP thirty years Lydia E. Pink. hues- Vegetable Compound, made from toots and herbs,has-been the standard ' remedy for female ills, andhas positively cured thousands Weteett who have been •troubled with displacements, hillaMmatiorrolloeta- don, fibroid tumors, ixtegniatities, periodie pains,baekache, that bear, ing.down feeling, flatulency, indigos. tion,diztitiessor nervous prostration.. Why don't you try it. ? Mrs. Plaithant invites all sick WOnaeri to write her .for advice. Site has .guideit thous ds to heath: Addresit) Lynn, OA& Chronic. Coughs- Cured Joseph Eccles, of Dromore, eay; "I took four or five bottles of Pay - chine, and a cough 1 luta continually for Hine months dineppeared. It le the 'beet remedy for ebronie coughs that 1 'ver toed." Thoneanale 0 living witnesses pro. tionnee Payehine the greateet meodieine in the world, it is not 4 patent medi- cine, but a preeeription 0 a great pay, side% Put it to, the teat in any ease of throat, lung or etonntell trouble or any run down or -weak condition. sat all druggists„ Bac and $1.00, or Dr, T. A. Sioeum, Limited, Toronto, 444 Statesmanship,. "Walt PAtielueli," saiii the candidate for aldermen, _leading them into the par- lor, "what eau I do for yon?" "We smut to know," said the spokes- man of the delegation, twirling bis hat awkwardly in hie hands, "how you stand on enforein' the dog law in Oss wad." The candidate cult not hesitate a mo- ment., "Gentlemen," be said, "I take it thot you ONVII doge yourselves.", "Yea, sir,/ "Some of you, perhaps, raise doge?" • "Yes, sir." "Then, gentlemen,' Bays the candidate, raising his voiee and speaking with tre- mendous emplagie, "as one of your fel- low -citizens, interested with you in all that makes for the prospeeity of our great and growing city, I declare to you, without equivoeation or evasion, that never with voiee, vote, or influence. will I do anything to discourage one of the principal industries of OUT ward, inh•ab- ited as it is by sturdy, indomitable peo- ple who represent what has been well and appropriately designated as the bone and sinew of our beloved land! Gentlemen,- what will you take?" a I consider MINARD'S LINIMENT the BEST liniment in use. I got my foot badly jammed lately. I bathed it well with MINARD'13 LINI- MENT, and it was as well as ever next day, Yours very truly, T, G. /vIelvIULLEN. Spring Pomo. Soon the nights shall be full of music, The bvilfrog will warble his lay, Mosquitoes their -The mosquitoes will sharpen its stingers, Mosquitoes will tune y Mosquitoes will tune up their voices And my' as they And sting as they xxxxxx away And sing as they puncture away,* *Owing to the lateness of the how' there is no dine to trim this into proper shape, and it goes in just as it left the typewriter. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS 'AZO OINTMIONT is gliaranteed to cure any ease of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protrud. ins Piles in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. ISa Mignonette Drives Away Flies. Mignonette, it has been diseovoed, is abhorred of flies, and in a room where pots of the flower are set no fly will lin- ger for a moment, says The Gentle- woman. Now is the time to sow the seeds, and for early bloomingathe pote must be snbjeeted to gentle heat. Instead, of fly -papers and horribly sticky brown mixtures left about a room in glass dishes, what a blessed resource as a de- terrent of the irritating, fly is the sweet, wholesome flower of mignonette! -• -*- Kinard's Liniment Cures Burns, etc. FIELD CROP Competition, is AiriculturalSocietiee 1908. To be carried en by the co-oper, tion 0 the Agricultural Societies Branch of the Ontario Department of Agriculture end the Seed. Branch, of the Dominion Department of Agriculture. Having in view the excellent results obtained last year in stintulating a greater interest in the production of better seed grain, ag- ricultural societies will again be assist- ed in the holding of competitions in standing field crops during 1908, under the following regulations: 1. Nature of eonmetition. Competi- tions shall be limited to one crop, to be selected by the society, which should be the one a most importance to the farm- ers of the district, Entries for eompeti- tion must consist of a field of not less than five acres, and where beans ampo- tatoes are entered, the minimum plot riot less than ono acre. Selection must be made froni the following strops, viz.; Spring, fall, goose wheat, oats, barley, corn, peas, Welke clover, red clover, po- tatoes, beans or any other staple crop paoduced for seed in Ontario. 2. Competitors. Competition shall be limited to members of agricultural socie- ties, and the fields entered must not be more than fifteen miles from its head- quarters- Competitors shell be allowed to make entry in only one society and but one entry can be made by each competitor. • 3. Soeiety's entries, Societies desiring to enter this tompetition Must notify the superintendent not later thati the first day of May, nud must make not leas than ten entries nor more than twenty-five, 4, individual entries. All individual enteles must be forwarded by the 8c - of siseieties to 3, Lockte Wilson, Superintendent of Agricultural Socie- ties, Parlituaent buildings, Toronto, be- fore the first of June'1008. 5. Societies may, if thought advisable, charge competitors nit entry fee of not more than one dollar, Prizeo, The Ontario Department 0 Agriculture will eontribiste $30 to eaelt society cm eondition that prizes to the amount of $50 be offered, thaw prizes to be uot less than $15; $12, 10, $11. and $5. The seed branch Of the Dominion De- partment of Agsiatilture will provide ex- pert pudges for these vonspetitions free of test to the- soeieties. Huns en POrestry Mrs, Nokiter—Mre, ingamo, I" think My duty to tell you that your Tommy Whom you consider so well behaved a boy, ie a perfeet little limb! Mrs. Iligsonte (with a majeetie !rowe) —He ought to be, malaria Our family tree never yet has borne a erooked stick 0 timbor, "/ Chafe Rennet • the regulations," muriniired the 'college girl as she pre. pared the surreptitious Weleb. Wait at a,fri.--Irervard Lampeon. ..— -- ART IN SPANISH BANK NOTES Expected to Baffle Counterfeiter* gven More Then Rapid Changes. To baffle the vounterfeltess, who are both tumor:ma end einining in Madrid, the Beek of Spain has painted the pol- thangiug ita motel with gteat frequeney and retiring each issue as fast ite poeeible. The bar' le IlOW deWrinined on a new nay. It placen an order for AV kW' ei et IlliteS With an ntiglielt concern, and it will rely for eafety upon a special ealor oroeeas, In Addition the notes aro to present pictures of well-known buildings in Spain'executea with a per - faction that will defy counterfeiting. "Tim pictures are tobe oo beautiful thet. Amateurs will be tempted to fra,nin them," says mie Spanish newspaper. "Hardly," rejoins another," the cost 0 the set will be 1,075 peeetas, you see." To the Spanish mind $338.50 is a greet deal of money. A Toilet Luxury Mira Skin Soap is a -delight to every woman who values a soft, beautiful skin, 1Viira Skin Soap takes away all ekiet irritetkons— cures skin troubles., -and keeps the skin clear and smooth. Rlegently perfumed — refreshing —,. unsurpassed for toilet and bath. ses e elate «43 druggists or sent on receipt oi price, The Chemists' Co, of Canada, Icimited, Hamilton. .Altt RI; tO.OS tl TRADE MARK REGISTERED, SKIN SOAP 22 The °Mee Boy. "Is the proprietor in?" asked the visi- tor, "No, sir," replied the office boy, • "Is he In the city?" "WillYesa bac& soon?" "No, sir." "To -night?" "No, sir." "To -morrow, sometime?" "No, sir." "Did he leave any word for Mr. Witt?", sir," The stranger looked at the *Mee bay sharply, "When did be go?" "Yesterday afternoon." "Didn't lie say when he'd be back?" c'tiNTIVoe'lls,irre'sh'ere. the dickens is he?" "At the undertaker's." "Whet's the matter 1" "Hes dead,--He,7.er's Weekly. 4. ENGLISH SPAVIN LINIMENT re- moves all hard, soft and calloused lumps and blemishes from hor,ses, blood spawn, curbs, oplinta, ringbone, sweeney, stifles, sprains, sore and swollen throat, coughs, etc. Save $50 by use of one bottle. Warranted the most wonderful blemish Cure 'ever known. • Sold by druggists. 44 Cleaning Paper on Ceilings. While there are some preparations for cleaning wall paper on the market, they are not always readily obtainable in every locality. The simplest way to clean wall or ceiling paper is to make a bag of coarse flannel, in which tie or sew up two quarts of wheat bran, rub- bing the same over the paper briskly, 01 in ono direction, taking-eare not to miss a single spot. I3efore beginning to rub, however, the walls or ceiling must be carefully dusted.—Oanadian Architect and Builder. R-PORAMIAS of all the standard patent medicines and toilet preparations now in use; send Z.cent stamp for free list of fortnulas. Address DR. MERNIN, Windsor, Ont., Canada A Queer Pet. In a country town in northern Penn- sylvania there lives a little old man who sells intik, carrying it from house to house incoming and evening in a small hand -cart. There is nothing strange about that, but his companion on these daily trips is the very strangest you ever heard of—an old grey goose, who follows him about in the most dignified manner, and stands watch over the cart, letting no one go near it in his master's absence. His name is Major, and his master says he is just as useful as a dog would be. Mitard's Liniment Cures Dandruff. Retribution. "One of the well known suffragettes, Helen Bourcbier, tuts discovered a genu- ine grievance at last; the beds in Hol- loway, she says, are so narrow that she rolled out."—London Paper. If Helen's conscience had been good, She would have slept, no doubt, Upon her bed in prison rude, And not have fallen out, But p'raps the reason elsewhere lies— The truth we're hinting at— The bed's too small for Helen's size. She may be very fat Minard's Liniment for sale everywhere. He Knew What it Meant. "I see," remarked Mrs. Henpeck, "that there is a new play, called 'The Great Divide.' I suppose it is another of those divorce problems." "No," replied Henpeck meekly. "It probably has something to do with woman's tveekly grab for the bulk of her husband's salary," Just then the door bell rang Asa Hen- peck made a quick getaway. *1 Side Lights On Mythology. Vulcan had just put four new horse- shoes on the feet of Centaur, "Easiest job I ever dial," he said to the by-standers. "Ho stood perfectly still, and when X handed him the fly brush he kept the flies away himself.' Making a handsome discount frotri his usual price, he asked his eustomer to drive himself to his shop whoever he ;seeded any more work. ISSUE NO tft i$08. Agl.Prfs WASTED, QALBSMICN WANTXD VOA "AUTO - Spray." Best hand .prayer ;natio. •von:, ,ereeste air: automatic, biterst oriel. car- om nroa, aalt, Out. A If Q14104.TA310 Exact DireCtirrwagoietncelity Help the To make a fomentation it piece of betties flannel eitoula be procured, doubled nna made into it small roll, and then platt- ed in the centre of a towel, the two ends of the latter being twisted BO AO to Make improvieed handle. The towel should then be placed in a bowl—the aide hanging over the eislee— oor th anydaketettoillefThulofe nolotu bolilingroeha watel; pouiesL ly Applied as passible, the greatest care be aeAtiseviitiu,nsagriselocoui nti mk eane of tw feting the towel, and the flanuel should he as quick- hewevor, beieg taken not to btiril the jaeonet should be laid immediately on the top, covered in turn with a large piece of cotton wool. 4** Knew Where to Find Him. Harry H, Thaw, awaiting trial fox the second time for the killing of Stanford Whites a few days ago asked hia lawyer, Martin W. Littleton, to Qom 0.114 soo hi% at 11 a. m, the next days It was 11.30 when Mr. Littleton arrived. "Mr. Littleton," said Thew, apparent- ly greatly excited, "I requested that you evya ytoareeeeyomue hia4ti f 1 l.an now Itour ?1„1.30, Mr, Littleton eye4 his client for a ma. ment or two and then windy replied: "I knew, I could always find you, in," Thaw made no reply. .1.1.1•••••••••••••••.*1* • A Railroad Man's Knock. "That famous railroad man, the late Samuel Sloan," said a New York ban- ker, "loved fast trains a,nd hated slow ones, They t,ell a story about a trick he once played on a railroad whose ser- vice was notoriously slow. ' "Having, several times, to use this railroad's afternoon accommodation, he caused a sign to be painted, which he took from his pocket and hung in front df one of the ears when nobody was looking. The sign said: 'Passengers are requested not to pluck &wen/ while the train is in motion.' "—New York Times. • • l; LIT 0 114 manse. Friar!" Swatches and every tone at Contagious Itch en human or a:AWN mired In 80 minutes by wonora's sanitary Lesion. It never fails. Sold by druggist*. Thackeray's Poets. Thaekeray's favorite poets were Gold- smith and the "sweet lyric singers." Prior, whom he thought the easiest, the richest, the most charmingly humorous of English lyrical poets; and Gay, the force of whose simple melody and art- less ringing laughter he appreciated. He admired Pope, too; but while admitting Milton's greatness thought him "such a bore that no one could read him," 11 18 not surmising, therefore, that Thanks - ray never essayed the big "bowwow kind" of poetry.—Fortnightly Review. Minard's Liniment Relieves Neuralgia. Too Tough! A young Scotch emigrant was brought before the Magistrate of a Nova Scotia court, charged with having deserted hio work on a certain farms without giving due notice to his employer. When asked what he had to -say in his defence, he replied: "Weal, they gied -nout but brakeshaw to eat." Brake- shaw, it may be explained, is the flesh of animals which have died a natural death. "How was that?" asked the Magis- trate. "Weel, it was this way. Ye ken, the ald coo deed an' we ate it, the auld steg (gander) deed an' we ate it, the auld soo (sow) deed an' we ate it, the auld bubblejock deed an' we ate it. Then the mild woman deed—an' I left." WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE From October to May, Colds are the most frequent cause of Headache. LAXATIVB MOM QUININE reznoves cause. B. W. Grove on box, 26c. Starting Seeds indoors, Any one who intends to start seeds indoors needs a knowledge of various fads concerning each variety—the length of time heeded for germination, the time required for the ,plant to reach the blooming, or fruitage stage, and whether it can be transplanted to the open ground with safety in early spring, or not until considerably Wed. For in- stance, says Suburban Life, chrysanthe- mum seeds will germinate in from five to ten days, but the plants require a very long season of growth before flow- ering, and the person who gets ahead of Jack Frost must sow the seeds not later than March first—aud earlier, if possible. With varieties which germinate quickly, grow rapidly ooa bloom early, the sow- ing should be delayed at least a month, to avoid the trouble 0 repeated trails. planting, to prevent the seeding plants from getting 'leggy" and weak. • 41' • 4P. Taking the flags of 2.) lending national powers, sea is found is 1J of them, That metals get tired from overwork is clearly proven in the ease of tele- graph wires. lielsoluneneelogmesennuMemesemmetaiemoessmosasextile Now Look Iffere.9. Why do you use WOODEN Pails and Tubs, when those made of rIRREWARE are away ahead? They have no hoops—no seams. They will not leakt water.soak, or rust, and they LAST LONGER and COST LESS MONEY. 131.4 --you most ask for Eddy's Fibreware All Good Grows sell it and eddy's Matches 11