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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance, 1906-08-23, Page 3++44-44++++++++44+++++4444-dietr+++++++++++411+414-11-0, How Would You Like to be the Information Bureau Man at the Grand Central Station, New York? "What do yea do, itiet arieiver geed- see-e-esedeee-ed-e-e-deoso-e-deediereedees they. were overcome, t urned, and; fled, tions?" '•keying their dead where they .hast fallen. clo"sieclo aytolu" 411°W Wil4t 8teel e":1414)11 FIGHT IN BILS11 "Did John D. Rockefeller ever esk you It le worthy of uote that one olkt native questions?" isreseagreeesseleedsdeaseed4444-0-e-sesesde intiuna remained end fought anith the "What sort ot a young fellow le thew ' 'hites and elthottelt siesegaied in the son?" Pietermaritzburg.—When the bistory fgee, ge e „ e tte piuelty entiugh te continue "I bet you got to keep studying all the of the present native rebellion cometo firing without intermission. It was a tinle to keep the erowd from getting be writteu there le olds incident welch desperate hi-Wel:lea indeed. Ten minuted away with you." . will stand out from among all othere Mere end, like Shangani, not a man "Why can't they carry well trained • . i would nave lived to tell the tale. 4++++ 44+ +4-44++4++4+++++4++ + +44-444-444-+++++++ . ogs It e paw nger "Young men, did you ever .poseter on Captain, Cleric of Royeton's bee and 'nits is a busy time of the year for 1 all hotels. just drop off any place and the evil of selling intoxicating liquor ou lite little band of breld eve Men who li . • 11 withstrikiug c1 eamese—tg e 1 aut 041... Hugging Bareed in Waltz. (United profesional misters of deeding decree Aqueezing must stop.) the information bureau inan. It dem not you're there. Are the little mountains the trams? Matter whether he is attedied to a big celled kittens? J "How niuclt does a $10,000 endowment hotel or a ticket office or an exchange "I don't know. Pm busy. The 2.22 life inettrance cost if you are fortyfour or a railroad -terminal, the Man Who is the 3.19 and the 4.11 all stop at Stain- pare old and live in: Philadelphiat" "Do people ever try to get smart ou?" paid for knowing everything has all he can do now steering aright those who would depart froin Now York or those who are arriving. Take the' men in the little pagoda at the Grand Central station for inatanee; Just how many questions) they answer in the course of a day now they can't be- gin to count. Figuring on a ten-hour trick, with an average of at least three queations a minute, would ehow 1,800 interrogation points burdled at them in the course of a day, but they believe that it is more than that, and as there are us- ually three of them at work that means something in the way of answers. Originally the information bureau men were put there to tell questioners what traine to talcs and to hand out those neat little pink and green arrangements which show you how to go to any place In the world except where you -want to go anti at any other One than you want to go. But the public had some ideas on the subject and now the oracles must answer everything from train time to racing dope or be accused of insolence. Two young women had just received word that a public hack would take them from the Ardsley station to Pin- cusville for fifty cents -the °thee day when the reporter chimed in: "You must have a lot of questions to answer during the day?" "Some," was the mechanieal answer. "I suppose they refer to about every- thing?' "A good many foolish ones?" "Yes, 2.33. No ma'am. Gates open at 2.25. Plenty of time. Yes—we get the usual number, No, ma'am, you can't get a permit to take your little dog in a parlor car—he'll have to hide in the bag- gage car ahead. No, ma'am, size don't count. Not even a little dog." "But suppose I carry !limn:eider my coat," asks the angular looking woman eagerly. "Can they arrest me for that?" "No, ma'am, they can't arrest you. Ar- rives at 8.45 in the morning. You must eransfer across the city, taking a train 'a't 9.01. Well, you can try it, but of coarse, if they catch you, he .will have to go forward. I know, ma'am, but it hull ray doings. "Waldorf-Astoria. Thrty-fourth street an' Fifth avenue. European plan —rates $2.50 wp. Up, I said." "Why don't you sell tickets instead of "How fur up?" is the query. "By Jing having so much red tape?" "Do you think I can get a stateroom for the Chicago flyer for to -morrow afternoon?" "What is the fare to Brewstera?" "If I wait around here will you point out eome of the famous people as they go to New Rochelle and other suburbs?" "Do you sell railroad accident insur- ance?" "Can 1 leave a bundle with you for a few days?" "If you see a stout woman with a Md hat looking for somebody will you tell her 'Joe' is over getting a glass of soda water?" "Whom can I see to obtain a permit to carry my little dog in may arms in the car? I have a compartment reserved for me; will that make any difference?" "What°, da time traina fora da Stam?" "Is Governor Higgins in Albany now?" "Can I get my little dog insured?" "Do you think a policeman would know where Simon J. Smelkers lives" "Can I take a train from here for Oyster Bay?" "Is it better to go by rail or boat to Boston?" Same as to Buffalo. "How much will the new station cost?" "Gimme (forty-two of them) a time table." "Can I take my Aunt Sarah out to the cars; she's -lame?" "'Why don't they open the gates?" ford. Take the Harlem branch, They all start from here, I don't know when the new -station will be finished. In 1008, they say. It may be e few mouths more or less. "All Western brains take you to Nia- gara Falls. There are aplendid hotels there. Yes, there are certain rebates for theatrical tickets, but you must be in the business. No, they don't give a reduction for cele, How about it if you are a minister? Well, you noise show your programme, or license, or whatever itis. "Yesen, on the New Haven. Try the 1.05; it's a good train and makes only one stop between New York and Hart- ford, New Haven. Arrives in Hartford at 4,20. Yes, there's parlor ears. al told you once before, I didn't know where Simon J, Smelkers lives, Why don't you loolc in a directory. Find one around on the other eide. I don't care to know about his family. Not to give you a short answer. I'm too busy. "Yes, Hastings is the third stop. Bag- gage room over to the eastern end. There is somebody there all the time. I don't know about your trunk, that's the ma- son I am telling you about the baggage - room. See somebody there. They can handle two thousand trunks a day and never then a hair. That's two thousand outgoing trunks. I., don't know how many incoming—there's no limit. "Smelkers not in the directory? Well, look in the telephone book. That Smel- kers is getting on my nerves, and if we were rushed to -day I'd begin to get sore. They are not as curious to -day as they are sometimes, and ids a relief from last Saturday." The information bureau man actually looked happy and hummed Waiting at the Church, between times; but just the same inside of the next fifteen minutes he had replied to the following questions to the best of his ability: "On what tracks was the sixteen -hour train?" "When it starts, when it returns?" "What the train costs to run and. how much the cars cost?" "What is a good train for Hicksville, L. I.?" "Give me a ticket for East Haddam, Mass ?" I hearn tell on that 'ere tavern so much I'm a-goin' ter git a room there"— "Well, men have paid $1,000 a day for suites" -- "Gee, how many meals did they git for that?" "None." "Squire, ohere/s the old Astor House," "Yee," continues the information bur- eau man, "we do get some funny ques- tions. Yes, sir, has diner and sleeper— yes—Yours is one of the funny ones— you're a reporter; oh, all right —but you know thet a lot of people, when they can't think of nothing else to ask, ask us—I'm afraid you'll have to pay full fare for that child, ma'am. Yes, I knew he may be only nine years old, but he is about five foot two. 1 can't help that, ma'am, if he's stretched —he takes up room. Yes, they ask us the. question you did, whether we don't ans- wer a lot of fool questions"— Called Insolent. "Sir, who won the fourth at Lat. °Dia on July 34 I don't know. Johnny, who won the fourth at Latonial We don't keep past performances on file. Well, I said we didn't keep thean. All right, report me." "Here you can find your trains in this pink folder, miss. Yes, you can have your baggage delivered at the station. Cab fares, fifty cents a mile for one. You paid too much. "They will telephone for automobiles, I don't !mow the name of -the red haired brakmean on the 4.28. Mount Vernon lo- cals run eysety fifteen minutes. Mr. Van- derbilt isn't in his office. "Yes as I was saying to you, we do get a lot of questions. You can find out whether the Western trains are on time on that blackboard over at the east end of the platform where the trains arrive; ask any attendant and they will show you. No, ma'am, I can't find out whe- ther your friends are on the Lake Shore limited. She'll be in in twenty minutes. "These are the latest time tables, Dia- dem. No; no charge. The grand opera season is closed. It's Caruso, not Cruaoe, that sings. I never heard, ma'am; may- be he's a descendant of old Robinson. On the 1.19. Goes by way of Hartford. Why is it called the air -line? I don't know, ma'am unless it's because it is the etraighte4 route. It's a five-hour train. "Yes, the Touraine is a first-class be- tel, in Boston. I do not know its rates. No, it is not an extra fare train. The Merchants is about as good as any. Lost your child, ma'am? See that policeman over there. I do not say that he has it; he will help you find it. "Yes, here is the train; wait, let me mark it for you on the time table, Now you can follow the route by looking at the table. It doesn't stop there; I'm sure it's an express. No. Yonkers does not belong to New York city—it's a sep- arate municipality. Mayor McClellan is In Europe? Yes, Mr. McGowan, Presd dent of the Board of Aldermen, is Acting Mayor. 1 don't know what busines he's In. See Fire Commissioner O'Brien. "General Bingham is Police Commis- sioner. No, we do not sell tickets nor send telegrams; try over at the win- dows at the eastern end. of the room there; you can buy Pullmans there, too. "I do not know where Shnon J. Smcl- kers lives. No, X never heard. of him. I don't are if he was in the Missouri Leg- islature. I do not know him. Here'e a green folder-- Johnny, hand lee a green folder. Now when you get to laeolculc you go out on ehe M. G. and Y. to Bhib Junction , and take a branch up to Quob- ville. I don't know whether the bass is bitird ti.ere or not. "There aro no mosquitos VA Mount WashingtOn. How do I know? A man told Me their lungs are too weak to stand the rarified atmosphere—the lungs of the mosquitos, that is. "1 don't know the hotel ratee. 1nev- er heard of anybody taking an autemo- bile in a parlor car, What aro you try- ing to do with me yousig fellow? Hrsf hal hal YOu mid an automobile coat. Oh ,that' all right, if the gasoline ia extracted first. Yes, the smoking ear is u pahoed. 'Trains for Yda Y.111 and Tram Tiara Um kiwi, at 3.27. Get to Welk, Walla at 0.58.t den't knOW where the Pat-Tn. HOWle exaetly. They may have to wed - 400 natives at bay until assistance arriv- ed. Wounded by eesegaie and ball, end weary with tbeir mama and faint from the lose of blood, they fought as long as they Q(1111(1 btalM and when tuo weak to do this they propped theninelVeS "Shay, come out 'n' have a against trees and fired, while their ital. ball?" munition lasted, all the time maintaining 'Le that young feller answering ques- tions over there your son or your bro- ther ?" "Will the Giants* win the pennant ?" "I'll bet you've seen some mighty big people pass through here." "Le that giant, IVIcNow, at Hammer - stein's, an Irielenan?" "Ain't them no place that I can find out where Smelkers lives?" "Can't yod give use some other color in thin tables but pink and green.; it's an awful contrast to my dress?" "How far is it to Buffalo?" "What's the hotel rates in the Yo - emits) Valley?" , "Were you here when the earthquake happened in San Francisco? Tell me how to get to Kennebunkport?' "Do you know what time the Duluth boats sail from Buffalo?" "If my little boy sits on uny lap all the way <Mee he have to pay fare?" "Are there any gnats in the Thousand Wanda?" "Mister, it's all right. I just found junction had scarcely left the lips of the where Smelkere, lives. My wife wrote it last man when n black figure rose out down on an envelope and !stuck it in my t of the dense undergrowth about fifteen pocket. Where is Binglehuret-on-the- paces distant and fired point blank at Marsh, Long Island?" the captain. The bullet missed him and "Yes," said tbe information !bureau struck the third man, inflicting a nasty man., "I don't know how 'we would I wound. This was the signal for a ;di- stant' it if it were not for these off days,"—New York Herald. ss•e, a cheerfulness& that has been often equal- ed but perheps never excelled iu ever war. South African history has no par - elle' to, this courageous devotion to duty and intrepid, daring sued the days when Major Alan Wilson and his little band laid down their lives on the banks of the Shangani river after having held the Matabele horde at bay until further re- sistance became impossible. At the time at the attack Clerk and hie men were beating through the dense bush of the Nkandhla forest and formed part of a line extending about a Mile and a half in length. On all sides tho tall forest trees and dense undergrowth pre- vented the men from seeing more than twenty or thirty yards and the utmoet cautien vgas observed . Clerk, who has had. experience of native -war in Queens- land, suspected that a large force was in the vicinity, the trampled undergrowth bearing the marke of many footprints. Word was passed along the line to ob- serve strict silence and caution, The no. WHY GIRLS ARE PALE They Need the Rich Red Blood Dr.Wil- they did so. Immediately the bush be- liams' Pink Pills Actually Make. came full of black bodies, clustering to - Three years ago Miss Ellen Roberts, gaiter in the undergrowth like bees ns who holds the position of saleslady in they drew near to get a clear throw for their assegais and an uninterrupted sight one of the leading stores in Halifax, N. S., was a pale, delicate looking young for their rifles and the guns with which all were armed. It was no light task woman, who then lived at home with her parents, at Amherst., N. S. She complain- for a mere handful of men to turn and of agge. face an uncertain °nerd ef dusky aw- ed, of general weakness Laid loss tite. Her blOOCI SIMS thin and watery and she grew thinner day by day un- til she looked almost a shadow. Her cheeke were sunken, all trace of color had. left her face, and her friends fear - oral onslaught. The little party had, In spite of their precautions, walked right into an ambush, "Halt!" the command rang out clear and sharp and the men prepared to face a deadly onslaught. At the first shot the cowardly levies turned and fled, dis- organizing the little body of whites its ages yelling in that blood -curdling way which is peculiarly their own as they shouted. out their defiance at this ineig- nificant-looking lot of men. Neverthe- less, the men re-formed calmly and with - ed, she was going into a decline. I out any sign of flurry and presented a had no energy," says Miss Roberts, ' small but bold front to the enemy. Clerk "and suffered so mach from the head- t turned and emptied the magazine of his aches and dizziness and, other eymetome carbine among them, while the others of anaemia that felt I did, not care ' continued to pour round after round in - whether I lived. or died. Oue day, bow- dependently into the black mass 'which ever, when reading our local paper 1 1 was straining every nerve to get among read a testimonial given by a young girl the Europeans. in favor of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, and I While so occupied Clerk failed to not- es her symptoms were almost identical ice that his comrades had fallen back with my own I determined. to try this I into the dom., which offered more shel- medicine. Before 1 had used. the sec- I ter, and by the time he realized it he ond box I began to find benefit, and • wee left alone. Drawing his revolver I continued taking the pills until 1 he fired as he retreated, when suddenly had used seven or eight boxes, by 1 he was opposed by two natives more in - which time I was .fully restored to trepid than the rest, who barred his pro - health." To -day Mist) Roberts look& as ' gress. One raised his stabbing assegai though she had never been, ill a day in and the next moment Clerk would brive her life, and she has no hesitation in say- been a dead man, but, with a cool aim ing she owes her present energy and he brought him to the ground with a health to Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. bullet through his arm. Instantly the Bad blood is the cause of all coin- other jumped from the left and aimed. mon. diseases like anaemia, headaches; a deadly blow at Clerk's head, which lie paleness, general weakness, heart palpi- parried with his carbine, the assegai hist tation, neuralgia, indigestion, and the cutting into the flesh over the eye. With special ailments that only womenfolk the shock of the blow Clerk reeled and know. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills cure fell, turning a somersault on the slop - these common ailments, because they ing hillside, but on a trice he was on make rich, red, health -giving blood, brae- hie feet again and facing the native, ing the jangled nerves'. and giving whom he shot through the chest killing strength to every organ in the body. him instantly. Do not take any pille without the full Without further mishap Clerk rejoined name, "Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Palo his men and together the seven fought People," on the wrapper around each in the donga. for dear life. The remain - box. Sold by all 'methane dealers or der of the men who had formed the line by mail at 50 cents a box or six boxes were at that moment separate from Looking for Johnsin. "Mistah, do you know a culled gen• mum, a po'tah ob de name of Johnsin'Id "Does Chauncey M. Depew hang around the station much nowadays?" "How long have you been doing thisl" "It's mighty strange, but the time- table says 4.28, and here it is 4.3 i and the train not in yet --why is that?" "Have there been many wrecks late- ly?" "Who can I see about a package llost a week ago last Thursday? There was only two collars in it and—but I theught as I was passing I might as well get them as to allow some of those Vedder- bilts to wear them?" "What was McClellan's plurality the first time he ran?" "How much damage did the railroad. company pay for the tunnel accident ' "Have you seen a little boy in a blue, checked suit carrying, a basket?" Ditto little girl in pink with bucket. Ditto another little girl with long golden curls. Ditto twine in brown. "Where can I exchange a ticket? I Want to go to Haines Falls, but elle man sold me one to Hainesiville?" "What's -the telegraph tolls to King - Fisher, Okla.?" "Do you know whether the Southwest- ern Limited. gets Inc in St. LOUIS in time for the Iron Mountain train that makes a connection with the Brinkley accom- modation down at Wynne Junction in Arkansaw?" "What's the round trip fere to To- kio?" "How maey people travel out of here every slay?" "How ninny come in?" "Did John IA Sallivan ever whip Kitt McCoy?" "Was Togo ever in this country?" "What was the vote on the rate bill?" "Show inc how to read this (qualified) time table." "The policemen. don't know Simon d. Smelkets; canyon think of anybody that 'might?" "HoW is it tlutt card playere are allow' ed to nionopoliee 60 many seats on the train?" "Do you eel" playing eards?" "Who do I see to get a pees to Sara- toga?" "Did yen hear Who won the first at Sheepshead?" "HoW much do stutomobiles coet an hour '1" "Whet's' the best autondsbile made I" "Dots title compeny .oevn any ateant- alhipar "Is there a union of information. bu- rden Inca?" "What does eire preeideet of the road get it year—on the level, I mean?" "What's the highest building in New York city'!" for $2.50 from the Dr. Williams' Medi- cine Co., Brockville, Ont. THIS DUMY CAN FIGHT, Mechnical Prize Fighter Keeps a Live Boxer Busy. tied to press forwent' and. encire'le the httle party. Fraser seemed to bear . a A mechanical .prize fighter, designed I charmed, life. Although his clothing was to serve as boxing partner for the pro- gy I riddled with marks, he had not so much fesisonal pugilist, has been invented as a scratch upon. ,his body. Trooper a New Britain., Conn., man, accord - Flynn, with an assegai wound on his ing to the Scientific American, this eldeek .and putridly blinded, continued. to machine is really a formidable fighter, ; fire with the utmost precision, the and has already gained quiet an envi- I blood trickled down his cheek. able reputation in the many encounters their eornrades. Standing attired in a white shirt, a conspicuous figure against the dark green of the trees, was Serest. Fraser, a New Zealander, who fought away as though it were an everyday oc- currence, while the yelline horde oontin- it has had with local talent.' Not only does it deliver straight leads 'and coun- ter% but it varies these with an occa- sianal upper cut and its, blows are rained with a speed and power that are the envy of the professional boxer. The machine does not "telegraph," that ie, it does not give a warning of a coming blow by a ,preliminary backward jerk, which is as common to all but the beet of boxers. Nor can the opponent es- cape these blows by side stepping, be- cause the automaton will follow him from one side to the other. At each side of the opponent is a trap door, connect- ed with the 'base of the machine in such a way that when he steps on one or other of these doors the machine will awing around toward him. The arms of the mechanical boxer are fitted with spring plungers which are connected with erank hatelles turned by machinery. Sep- arate crankshafts are used: for the right Ravi left arms, and they carry- pulleys between which an idle pulley is mounted. These pulleys are connected with the -main: driving pulley by a belt which is sbiftes1 from side to side, bringing first one and then the other of the boxing arras MO action. The belt -shifter is op- erated by an irregular eam at the bot - tont of the machine ,and gives no ink- ling as to which fist is about to strike. .Aiside from this, the body of the boxer is arrasiged to swing backward. or for- ward, under the control of an irregular cam, so that the bloses will land in dia ferent places. on the opponent. For be stance, a backward swieg of the body svill deliver an uppercut. The machine is driven by an eleetric motor, and can be nutdo to rain: blows as rapidly as the best boxer can receive •theen, or it Indy be operatea .slowly for the instractioe of the novice. .As the machine is fitted with spring arose and gloves, oat agile opponent can ward off the blows and thus protect himself. • *0 An Emigrant Prom aresce. "Streligera' we are told, comes from the Greek "ex," or "out of." "Ead' means out, from, or away, the eeftMils 'word at the Latin "ex," whente tOmea "extra." Then comes the Latin "extraneus," whieh means outside-. The old, French tvord from this, "eetratige," Medea an 41, waltz 'without a eue--ceasil "rls "iiamiet" without Hamlet; dneuee to melte a fellow mad And t.reatho a gentle dareniet. And what of her, sweet Islazio, fair, Who loves to be the huggeo? There's tomething In the troubled air That echoes: "They aro bunco," A kirs1e4s love, a scentless rose Are things within all reason A waltz without a hug, peeves. -- Such supposition's treason, What, never do the greceful wheel Embrazing gentle made? now would the tender maiden feel? she'd (simply dem 2110 eraZY• must stye up the fascinate In dervish -sort of dancing, If I'm denied the blissful, great, Sweet, better part entrancing. .So fare thee ,ivell, no more for me— The bitter truth I'm facing— One might as well dance with a tree As waltz without embracing. —New York Herald. 04. 444. 4.444444 444. 04' 3: Sunday in Britain v I • •,/,.. li:1 ;speesetetesee.seesieteeseteeeeteeeteotoegotteoset, (London Timed) The joint committee of the Lords and Commons on Sunday trading, of which. body Lord Avebury was chairman, and the Duke of Northumberland, Look Beauchamp and Wardale, the Bishop of Wakefield, Sir G. Doughty, and alesere. Burke, E. Edwards, Outland, and Stuart Samuel were members, brought their la- bors to a conclusion yesterday, when the chairman's draft report was agreed to with certain modifications, and ordered to be presented to both Houses. Hav- ing satisfied themselves as to the im- portance of maintaining the Sunday as a day of rest not only en religious and moral grounds, but oleo on the ground that it is necessary for the health and strength of the community, the com- mittee recommend that every shop as- sistant should be secured by law one day's rest in seven, and that no such person should be subject to any ,penalty if he object on conscientious grounds to Sunday employment. The committee are also of opinion that any employer making a contract for employment with an assistant in a shop who places upon him any obligation to work on Sunday as a condition of employment, without providing for securing him one day's rest in seven, should be subject to pen- alties. This, however, would not benefit ihe small shop keeper. At present ma.ny of those -who open on Sunday do so very The rest of his fortune was earned, dur- reluctantly. If one shop kee.per opens, ing the last ten years of his managerial those in the same Ivey of business in career. the same neighborhood must open also, Augustin Daly had been through sev- er they will see their business and their eral years of very bad luck just before customers leaving them and going to this death but his last season was profit - their rivals. Much of the evidence sub- able, because "The Great Ruby" turned mitted was to the effect that the total out. by a lucky fluke to be a great On - prohibition of Sunday trading by coater- ancial success. Yet he left, very- little. mongers, street hawkers, and small shop •Hi s books, his contract for certain music - keepers not employing assistants of any al farces from England and his interest. kind: for such trading would inflict in- in Daly's Theatre in London turned knit convenience and hardship on consider- to be about all that he possessed. Yet able masses of the poorer classes. Tbe .he had been for years in harness and committee consider, therefore, that in ,had spent thousands and thousands of any new legislation on this subject seme [dollars. exemptions would. be necessary. eVhilstd, . A. M. Palmer was practically a pen - therefore, expressing the view that tile nsiioannerwhoenn thhee died bounty omfanCahgaerslesof Ertoihi; gen-eral principle of the act of 1077 129 Car, II., c 7), in regard to Sunday trade t slineidraltdo Sbcieuatih•ee Triliceheetsrte.maAnlagllearyitnoadnayis. ing ought to be maintained, and that the . penalties imposed by that act are, oefii$ondokodootbr He eeyears aalgsoo: money, inadequate for securing the consequence of the change in the value oilfi 'Flelfatnak fSoarntugnere figured very little, however, in the af- end many veluable interests in plays. He in view, they unaintain that the exigen- fairs of the theatre, and earned most of cies of modern life make it neeessaary his money through )ds ownership of cur - to permit M particular districts the sale tam plays. "The Sign of the Cross" was of certain articles for a part or the whole ono of these.. Lester Wallack died, of of Sunday, and that the special regula- tions necessary for this purpose should Lotta Crabtree, who gave $1,000 for a• course, penniless. be franied by •local authorities, under Francisco sudferets, is said to be the rich. progra.mme at the benefit for the San proper control by the central authority. Their recommendation in regard to fines est actress in this country, and. her 1 or. is that the scale should bo 5s for the first offense, LI for the second, and .e5 for the third and all subsequent of- fences. The committee hold that if Parliament should pees any fresh prohibitive legis- lation the award. of a minimum sum for profession with the exception of Joseph costs should be mandatory on a. con - Murphy. Russell, who was accepted In vietion's being teemed. The commit - every city in the country but New York, year, while not desiring that confee- tee of the House -of Lords which sat lest invested his earnings in real estate in Sun- days for the sale of stores for house- tioners' shops should be open on Sun - of that property at a great advance end Minneapolis and St. Paul. He sold much hold consumption, were of opinion that mineral waters and sweets should be al- lowed to be sold for immediate consump- tion. The joint committee understood that this would meet the views of the confectionery trade, make the matter Gow, and, kept the money. Some of his clear; and they recommend, therefore, colleagues say he still has the first dol - that to meet the necessities of consune lar he earned in the business. He invest- ors who require refreshments on Sun - ed it all in real estate in different ei- day special by-laws should be made by Itios and to -day has more money than the local authority. With regard to ar- eny of his profession. ticles of food, such as bread and meat, araggie alitchell owes re large block of the committee suggested flutt their sele Ireal estate on the upper West Side. and should be allowed for a portion of the has built several apartment houses there day under regulations made by the local which represent a very comfortable for - authorities, and thet the sale of tobacco tune. She also owns other parcels. scat - should be permitted on Sundays durieg tered throughout the city. William Fier - the same hours as those inptrvehmicihseist. ern enco loft his wife $100.000. and half as be purchased on licensed much more was disposed of by his will. the course of the committeeei delibera. • Daniel Bandmann, when he did last tions some discussion took placsecoatistv.tAo year, owned a valuable ranch in Wyom- the desirability of excluding "' ing which ho had bought with the money from tho general bill dealing with the he earned acting Shakespeare at cheap matter. But the conclusion was come to that, although the ens° of Scoticuol towns for several years. Lawrence 13ar- erices thsroughout the. small 'Western differed somewhat from that of England hind bine although he had spent ninny rett, on the other hand, left nothing be - and Ireland, it would be met by allowing yettrs in producing worthy plays in the Scottish loeal authorities, with the eon - most artistic emitter. Edwin Boothas for - sent of the Secretary for Scotlene, to tune was more than lialf a million and omit any of the exemptione so far tia It wOUld have been much more had he understood that the report also contains their own area was coneerned. 18 invested it in the businesslike way that *++++++444+$44++++++++++++ Few Fortunes Made in. Acting STAGE STARS WHO LEAVE AS Mal AS $100,000 ARE PEW +++++++++++++44++*++++++++44+++++f++++44+++++4+++++* The fact that few actors and mana- eurprise that out of her earning* she gers leave belga. them eny fortune nes- pears to be just true in other coun- "It is always A little diffieult ten tries as it is here, satietician has re- just how uteri) do opens' their neeney," cently figured out some interesting de- a manager told the Sun reporter the tails asi to the estates left by distingeole other day, "for very few of them ihee ed players and managers in England. in luxury, %bey may have a house and a, Ilenry lrviug lett only $100,000 and much valet, but with expendituree of this kind of that was realized from the sale Of les Ow stop. They rarely keep yechts or pictures and; other works of art. The horses and few of them make the least fact that Ellen Terry had. a benefit the pretence to keeping up an establienment. °thee day shows how much she luxe saved t I've often thought they would be muck from half a century of work, Unlike , more sensible if they did. Yet with all Sir Henry she never had any share. of I their earnings they come to the end of losses to bear. ' their days without a cent. William Terriss, who was murdered "One way they use up motie,y ie, of five years ago, in London, was 60 at the course, through a certain kind of osten- time of his death, and left 4310000, lie tation in which they live an. their tray - had been in all that period an actor vie els. They take suites in sumll hotele, der selary and bad made few if any have their meals tierved upstairs when ventures of his own Dan Leno, who they are, if possible, a little bit worse was only 45 at the time of his death, than they are downstairs and they give got the biggest „salary ever paid to any suppers to the members of their cone music hall Binger in England, and Oscar palms and in other ways that do not Hammerstein gave him $1,e00 in real show but coot is great deal they let their money slip away. "I know one star who travels novr in the most extravagant way and I sup. ups and downs in his career, found great pose she enjoys it. She takes a motor, prosperity in "The Sign of t he terotsa," two maids, a valet and always has a during the letter years of his life, but earge suite of rooms in which there is a none of the plays that he id:tempted af- isupper almost every night. Of course ter that time ever nid.de any money fer that may be fun but it its using up ev•ey him. Probably the $50,000 that he left r cent she earns. Yet that woman lute a behind him came altogether from the very modest house in the country where royalties that he received from that ishe spends her summers and no home at play. It has been acted in tide coun- all in New Yorlc. She never livers with try for six years and is to go on tour the least pretence to elegance in her again. own home. All the money is splashed out in life on the road. "It is the same way with most of the managers in this city. They don't seem to have much fun out of their money. They never spend it as other men who made tbe same iucomes -would. One sees earned in her professional career $135,- them around the hotels and chop houses of Broadway just as if they were still agents on a small salary. It is true that they have begun to live a little differ- ently during the past few years, but there is still no good reason why they should work so hard t43 make money from which they have so little pleasure. Usually it goes after a while and they might as well have spent it in enjoy- ing themselves as have paid it out to authors and actors. Go into one of the Fifth avenue restaurants where you see men of all kinds enjoying their money and tell me if you ever saw e manager among them. On the other hand none of them—with a very few exceptions—ever buys his own home and lives with any degree of comfort or luxury in it. Yet in spite of the little fun they have out of it the money goes."—N. Y. Sun. money during Ins stay at the Olympia. Yet he left behind Min only $54,000.. Wilson Barrett, who had known many Augustus Harris, who had Covent Gar- dens and Drury Lane, died. in the early '40's, and was so much involved finan- cially that in spite of all his greet enter- prises he left an estate of only $118,000. Lady Martin, who was Helen 'Felicia had 000. The circnus managers seem to be as prosperous in England as they are here. The famous Frederick Hengler left $28Se 000, which is a larger sum than any man- ager or actor in England left, but seems small in comparison with the $8,000,000 left behind by James Bailey, and, the great Barnum fortune. Some of the American fortunes nave turned out just as small. It was thought always that the late Fanny Daveauort was a rich woman. She bad acted for years with great success and been a great popular favorite. Yet she left practical- ly nothing. That was in a 'measure due to the failure of, several productions made just before her death. Henry E. Abbey died a poor man, al- though he had handled millions. Maurice Grau, on the other hand, retired from business worth $400,000, part of which was made from successful speculation. As the fight progressed. the men con- tinued to exohange jocular rernarkG ad- theugh -they snust have realized Led there was a dim prospect of over getting out alive. Trooper Holmes was shot through the thigh with a bullet asnd an- other struek Corporal Woolhough in the ankle. Corporal Alexander was kileed wibh an assegai and Trooper Hawkins also died from assegai wounds. By this time the prosrpset was becom- ing hopeless. Nearly all the men were wounded and those who had sufficient strength left tosheid a revolver or a rifle continued: to fire whenever a ausky form approached near enough for the snot to be effective, but they were getting weaker and weaker. The motives rained: in a shower of assegais at first and. then kept off at a respectful distance while they tried the effect of their firearms, the fire from which was deadly enough to do oonsidemble damage, but the stem was bad. Every notv and again they would attempt to get to close quarters, but they were driven off with great loss. Captain Clerk was wounded. in Ieve places. A slug had struck him in the back of the thigh, a billet grazed Ms elbow, an assegai pierced the flesh, rigid over the .eye, another Was :buried; deep in the fleshy part of the arm, and an explosive bullet damaged his left arm with a. very painful wound. Although bearing these five wounds, he managed to load. ails, carbine and, to fire away aes long as his streegth lasted, and when he fottiul it too much for him lie took to his heavy revolver. All this tame Clerk and Holmes, de- tween them continued to s•hout for help, its they knew their comrades eould not be ler away, and they knew alto that many of the natives understood English and hoped they would by tide Means di- vert the attention of the enemy. Colonel Royston and his men heard the chier of the natives and the sound of firing its isoon as it began, and wit•hout pausing sfor momeet they all mask a dash Stir the spot. It Was no easy matter to fordo thole' way through the 'immix as lest es they wished, but they clone on as (peek- ly posseible end were jast in thud Ae they approaelma the spot where the little force wee .gallently bolding its wen they ottem in eenteet with the native outsider, but "estrange" gave us the borne which had been thrown out to ne• word "Aratiger," by dropping the "a," teitept diem, and frem which they wates "You may get board in the °Atkins "Do you know that sandy hared fel- sttol "etratteseer," by droppsng the ' closed to liekry fire. 011 tiof woit boo 44 to PO a wmuci tv4 Ito* at the 'Union Station At 0401410" Nielle/AL t WA 'sr. waives, Wing tune has been -estimated at sums vary- ing from $800,000 to $1,000,000. Much of 11 18 in real estate. In that way the largest theatrical fortunes have been made. Sol Smith Russell, who died three years ilf40, was the richest actor in the SAMPLES OF CHINESE FUN. Jokes That Abound in the Literature of the Celestials. If there is any truth in what expert jesters tell us the -world's stock of good, original jokes is ludicrously small —a dozen or two at the very outside. An early investigator into this momentous question, a certain Hieroclos, who lived some 1,600 years ago, put the number in his day at exactly twenty-one. The re- searches of Hierocles probably did not tixtend so far eastward as China, so there is no impropriety in asking now whether some of the jokes which abound in the literature of the celestial empire are en- titled to the honor of originality or not. Here are three specimens: A careless barber, trimming a custom- er's ears—Chinese barbers pay particu- lar attention to this part of the human anatomy—put his patient to great pain and unea,sinete. "Are you doing my kft ear now?" asked. the victic. "No, air; I've not quite finished the right ear yet." "Ali! I fancied you were trying to pass through to the left without going around." A portrait painter without clients teas advised by a friend to paint is likenees of himself and his wife and hang it in some conspicuous place, so that would be customers might jud.ge of his skill. He did so and his father-in-law the next time he called immediately saw the pic- ture. "Pray," asked the visitor, "what woman have you represented there?" "Why, sir, do you not recognize your • own daughter?" "My daughter!" was the indignant answer. "If you intend that to represent my daughter, how dare you paint her sitting thus intimately with a man whom I have never seen be- fore a.nd who must be an entire stranger to her?" The painter's feelings need. not real estate with an equally successful re- be described. The following is a typical example: later put hie money into Washington The gibes at doctors are innumerable. suit. He left more than $500,000. dispatched an imp to this world of ours One of the judges of the nether regions to seek out and bring back a. good doe - Joseph Murphy made a fortune out of tor. "When," the imp was instructed, his Irish plays, especially The Kerry "you come to the house of a doctor be- fore which you decry no complaining ghosts you will know you have foutel a man of the kind wanted.' The messenger set out, but in front of every doctor's door be came to there was an immeneis throng of angry spirits proclaiming the wrongs they had suffered when m the flesh at the hands of the medicine man. Finally, however, he readied a house where there was but one solitary ghost fitting backward. and forward, "Thiss is my man," he said to himself; "he must surely be a clever fellow." When the imp came to make inquiries, however, he been in practice for a day 1—Grand Meg- Ittezairunee.d that the practitioner had bai•eiy a sperial reference to the requirements) Thatt.:-1 I Richard Mansfield is ono of the richest actors do to -day. a tompromise being proposed for their of tollbetaJai;11`k%(11111Mnrn'InfifoOdinoTtlimeSundayR, benefit. meters in service end tot; trielV trehrlevelTelail'ise 1 iNiVsainnt!esston:etathheas end. Will be well able lotted to him. Ile plays long seasons, al- ways draws large audiences and has in- expensive eompstnies, Joseph Jefferson, who did business himself on the same meagre scale during the later years of his career, loft more than half a million. No woman ever had st greater vogue hero than Helena Modjeska, who has been in financial troublea during the last few years. Most of her money disappear- ed through her western tanch and her family. She always supported practically in the weet is small tolony of Poles who lived on her ranch. That has now been sold, for $30,000. She earned $25,000 from bee- tour last year and will keep on att- ing for several years to mine, so the will probably be able to retire in teite forte Hortense 1 -thea, who iota it period of groat popularity here, died peenilese. Her setivinge were iri is mesteure elcheitit- ed 4 ill health, but it Wail a Matta' tki 44 • Why Thunder Sours Milk. To many persons the curdling of milk it thunderetormis a mysterious and unintelligible phenomenon. Yet tha whole process really is sinspIe and nat- ural. Milk, like most ether eubstances, cote tains millions- of bacteria. The tat* bacterie, that in is day or two, under nate ural conditious, would cause the fluid to sour are peculiarly euseeptible to elec- tricity, Electricity inspirits and lavig. orates them, affecting them as alcohol, cocaine or strong tea affects Mee. Un- der the eurrent's influence they fall to work with amazing energy and inatead of taking a couple of days tte tour the milk they accomlpish the task complete- ly in half an hour. Tt is not the thunder in a eterm that souru milk; it is the eleetricity in the air that doss it. With an electric battery it is ease, on the eft1110 principle, to four the freshest milk, A strong current ax - cites the miero•bee to istiperroicrobio ertione and in a few missetes they da it job that, under °Wintry oondee would' take them, it eouple of dap. New Orleans. Timess-Democrat. 4 **- Indiana Supreme Court hes upheYa the eonstitutionelity of the stet requiring menufecturing end mining eolnaaltled and Grille to pay their employees seos4- ittottlti,r lidul womir.