HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance, 1902-09-18, Page 6esea'
MAKS
Not a Boston Oita
"I thoaght you anal that girl you
initroduced me to was trona Boston?"
"Weil, tenet she?"
"No. New 'York."
"Hetwel you Mid oute?"
"Why, I askal her it she was a
felloWer aflemersont and she said,
'What teaWs be playIng n?'" —
Philadelphia Bulletin.
SIM Pelt 11121110d
"I never Wag SO Omitted in my life!"
eihe exclaimed.
"What did he do?" naked her dear-
est friend.
"We were all alone end he threa-
tened to Jails me."
"Well ?"
"Well, we were all alone and be
elidot do it."
e0e-h-111"—Chieago Poet,
—
.a
Repeater.
"And thou wouldet marry title
usiseren.nt 1" thundered the king.
"I would!" small the princeee
eteadfa stly,. •
"What kind of wooa ?" stetted hie
majesty, in a gentler tone..
"'I pine l" her highneee rejoined.
"Well, you'd butteteut i" remark-
ed tbe sovereign anti parent, ele-
termined to have the last Word.
And with ;these few lightning
flashes of wit was the cloud of do-
mestic discoed quite alesipatea.—
Det reit Journal.
Ilisetustuned Again.
"And that benettefol young girl
writing at the teat table—who is
she?" we ask.
"She is the writer of those heavy
articles on our foreign relation" is
'the reply.
e'Dear me I And -that ugly, scowling
brute with the chin whiskers, chew-
ing tobacco and, .smoking a Stern
stubby pipe, he is--?"
"That is Mottier Shipley, who gives
henetteto-heart talke on the care of
babies!" c
And so wo wander hence to an op,
tielan's aver kica ourselves that sight
is so decelving.—Baltimore Nowa
A Cynical (iirl's Reflection.
Mose. men took at a pretty 'girl as tf
she had ,been bornexpressly on their
aceount. Me,n are not nearly SO wise
afi .ii'01116n letthem think they are.
11 all men were "{VISO all women would
seem Rensible. Most men divide women
into two classes—their mothers and
Rioters and all otaert women,. A man
generally reforms on account of some
woman, and Ithern taltee all the credit
to Itinisele. -Women don't idealize men,
for they pever have a chance to. The
average map meet's more than his
match in the average woman. If a
man is a failure/ he is sure it: is some
woman's fault. Rome men are so stu-
pid. that they think women: careless
for .not keeping their sime Inces tied.
More wom.en would be angels if more
men cared anything' about heaven.
Womene value dress because men value
it so anuea moreeinn.y men in a roe-
teuraet give the impression that
Vh:ey are there ndt se+ mutat to eat
eel f10 toik to the waitress,
Potted Ham.
Cut alt the inet, fat and lean, from
Uw renkaina,ebi a boiled ham, being
eare'fitl not"to mix With it either the
outside pieces or the grist. Chop
very floe and pound to a paste with
the Vegotahfe masher. To each pint
of the paste add one teaspoon of
mixed musta-x•d, and a ',peek of ea;•-
enne, and, if there WaS not nitwit
fat on the meat, ona tablespoon of
butter. Peek- till:: smoothly in Antall
earthen etre.. Pagte paper over three:
and put on the cover. Plac•e the
pots in a baking pan'whiele when
In the oven, should Ire filled with hot
water. Bake slowly two hoary?, c.00l
with the cover?? on. When, cold take
off the covers and peer melted butter
over the meat. Cover again and set
away in a cold place. The ham will
keep for months. It is. a nice relish
for tea, awl inakeR delieloue sand-
evichea—Boeton Globe.
Why She is Still a Miss.
A newspaper offered prizes recent-
ly for the bast answer to the', ques-
tion, "What are the reasons that
keep, a woman from marrying?" A
horrid, cynical male creature car-
ried off one Of the prizes with a list
of sixteen "reasons," Among them
were:
• tier inability to make np her mind.
The horror of being given away.
The unhappy remits ot most mar-
riages.
Tho fascination of continuous
flir-
tation.
'[he uncertain quality of a hus-
band's temper,
The glory ot having never accept-
ed a proposal. '
The scarcity of desirable, or even
tolerable, men. •
Her satisfaction of Raying "No,"
when she meanie "Yes."
' The Saving in human life through
elle absence of bad cookery.
T,he objectionable clantse in the
marriage emetic° relating to obedie
once.
Her 'lateral unteelfishneas places
the happiness of the man she lovett
before her men, 'and She remaine
single,
SaYings of Little One.
"I wonder," said TIomtny to his lit-
tle sister, "why our eat is afraid
of mice."
gimeit It's because she's a lady
cat."—Little Chronicle.
Guy wee the youngest member of
kintlergarteri cleat, and was also
the son of a soldier, One day he
WaS asked what he intended te be
when he grew up, and he replied
without hesitation: '0, I'm going to
he the Son of a 'Veteran,"— tittle
Chroniele. ,
.A. little boy three yeare old wn,s
taken to the tonntry n,ntl when he
Paw fire -films for the first time be
mid
"Oh 1 lemma, :eve the 'Renter-
/etre etriking matches." Little
Chroninia
leiVe-year-old Irma was playing In
the honen the other day when n
gentleman eallEti, Ile cala her :
what are yea upl to ?"
"I'm up to ante," war; bet MAY. —
Little Chronicle.
One tiny a little boy mote to
with very dirty betide nail
the teacher itaid to. him:
"Jamie, 1 Wielt yea would not eome
t'f•hool witb yonr enure? goile.1 that
way. What would; you Nay ir I tame
to Wheel with eoiled hewn? ?"
"1 wouldn't 141,V Amything," wan
thee peoelpt reply, "I'd be tee pate."
teitoniele.
orktintri**********rx
LOVE'S [XIL[.
44444444404•44**44444
So I arrived at Ballater witeou
warning, and, leaving Ferguson a
tee station to order a fiy one come
oe with my Negev, 1 walked to
Litrithal In the dusk. There was a
tamp le the etady, I could Bee it plain-
ly enough, for the baud was not
drawn down. I saw- a figure pass
between the window and the Baba
in another nelnute tee front floor
opened, and Ta-ta resh.ect at me,
leaping on to my Moulders, and
barking Joyously; while Bablole her..
eelf, scarcely lees fleet of foot,
?hazed both myhande, crying- in joy-
ous w,elcome
"Mr. Maude Mr. Maude! Mr.
Maude I"
I said, "Hew are you!? I hope you
ere quite wen. Ina it cold?" But,
(Weed, no fereace-fire could have
sent smait a glow through fley velne
as the warmehearted pressure of
the girl's bands.
"Do you! know! I have a sort ot
reeling that I knewyou were com-
ing to -day? 'Rile Scotch believe in
seeond sight; perhaps it's a gift of
the country. I've had all day a pre-
sentment thaIt something was go-
ing to happen—comething nice, ;you
know; and just now, before you
were near enough for me to hear
your ?step, some impulse made me
get up aed look out of the window.
Mot, Mr. Maude, don't believe in:Im-
am if he says Ta-ta moved first,
because she didn't; it was I. There's
always sonrething in the air before
the goad geleus appears, you know."
And she laughed very happily as she
ed me in anra gravely introduced me
eo her mother. Both had been kelt-
ting atockings for ine,, and I °thought
die .study had never looked so warm
eo home -like as it; did with their
frork-baskets and wools aboat, and
with these two good little women
staking kindly welcoming uproar
trowel me. To -to broke his cbain,
end climbecl up Oa my shoulder,
marling and showing his teeth jeal-
nesly- at Bablole. Mile delighted
:lamer e.00thed my ears as no prima
loninaee singing had ever done. That
.svening I could have embraced Mrs.
Miner with tenderness.
Nee dalyt I war alone in, the draw -
mg room, the ladies having given
rp poeeession of the Hall and re-
turned to the cottage, settee I heard
.00teteee at the open door and a
Foie e --
"May I come in, Mr. Mande?"
"Certainly"
I WatS butry putting up two paint -
Urge of Nerwegine scenery in place
:ef the portraits' of Lady Helen,
which were on the ground against the
;rail. On seeing my occupation, Ba-
plele uttered a. short cry or sue-
priee and dierney. .1 Raid nothing, but
put my Aped on one side to see if
e.u;e Jae new pietures was hung
straight. At last she spoke—
"Oh Mr. Maude!" was all ebe saki,
he 0 tone of timid reproach.
"Web."
"You're not going to take her down
aifter all title time?" •
"You eee I tueve taken her dawn."
"Oh, why ?" It wee not curiosity;
It was entreaty.
"Don't you thee; elie's been up
there long enough "P
"If you were the womanandshe
were the man you wouldn't say that."
"What simuld I say ?"
"You would a.y, 'He's beenup
there ego long that, whatever he's
done, he may as well stay there
"That would be rather conteuiptu-
INIR tolerance, wouldn't it ?"
"Dat the picture wouldn't
know that; and if . the
ehould ever grow sorry for
ell the harm she—he had done, it
would be something to know that
the pletere still hung there just the
tame."
The ;story must have leaked out,
then --the first part through Fa-
sten, probably, ' and the rest
theough the divorce court col -
mule of the daily papera I said
1ottling; in :toweh to the glee plead-
ings.. butt 11r estored the portraits to
their old place With the excuse that
Ilia landscapes would look better in
the. dining -room.
Our studies beganagain that very
ifternoon. Babiole had forgotten
sotlang, though work had, of course,
grown elate: during the hot days et
?tamer. She had had another and
;ether abeorbing love a(fair, too, the
details of which I extracted With
the accompaniment of more bluebell
thanin tile old tlaYEL
"We Ghali have you getting married
And flying away from no altogether,
se,ppose, now, befoto we love,
where wo are."
" No," she proteRted 'stoutly, "I'm
not goitre; to merry ; I am going to
tlet•ote, nuself to art," •
Unern this I made her fetch her
titetelt book, nfter prom:Wog "not
to tell mamma," wit!) ?night well be
forgiven for a plain/110e egaing tiny
mare meinbers of her femily sacrific-
ing; thentsetvert -Ea "dee auggereaut.
The sketches were all cif fir and larch
tree, 'hillside and rippling stony
Dee ; some were le pencil, some in
water enter; there was love in every
tele of each of the little pleturea
toel there was eermething more.
"Wity, Bablole, you're going to be
lc greet arttst, 1 beliet.o,I cried
ete 1 111.11e'ea 1.10 vigor or tho Ola-
the% the imaginative charin of the
reallneat ol tier laterite corners of
ea and forest.
Oh no, not their" she said deprecat.
Ingl,v. "If 1 eat' he only a little ono /
1 shall be eatlelel, 1 eitoulil never
dare to (tram the big hills. WheO 1 get •
en those Mlle nioeg the (14111*/) 1111,1 1
Sea the peakte teeing; the one behind I
thee other all r(01e1 me, f feel .ahneet
eia if I ought to fall on my kneeet
nnly to look at them: it IR only when 1
we love crept then) into Penne t
Nett full of tette:. It 0;4re 111.11 peep
1 them rmilo :t 1411', Ova
!NI r f!an L1110, $1,41 Li:. 1,801•1' 1)1141
and you may paint a baneful of wild
flowers so that it may situate notes
of classical pot-bollere hung on the
line at the Royal Academy."
Baalole was thoughtfully silent for
Borne minutes 'after this, while I
turned over tee rest of her draw-
ings.
" Drawing• -master's copy !" she re-
peated slowly at Met. " Th,en a
drawinganaeter is a man who doesn't
draw' very well, or who isn't very
particular how he teaches what he
knowe ?"
"Yes, without being very severe I
think we may say that"
"PMt ia not like your teaehing,
Mr. Maude."
"What do you mean 2"
"Why, all these menthe that you've
been away I've had a lot of time
to think, and I see what • a
different thing you have made of life
to me by teaching me to understand
'allege. Last year 1 thought of no-
thing when I was out on the hills
with Ta -La but childish things—
stories and things lace that. And now
all the welle 1 think of the things
that are going on in the great world,
the pletures that are being painted,
the booloi tha,t are being written,')
"And the dresees that are being}
worn ?" I suggested, playfully, not at
all sure that the °bang° she was so
proud of was entirely for the better..
"Well, yes, I think I should like to
know that, too," she admitted, with
a blush. •
"And you want to attribute all
that to my teaching ?"
"Yes, Mr. Maude," she answered,
laughing, "you must bear the blame
of it all."
"Wen, look here • I've revisited the
world since you ;lave, and, believe
me, you are much better outeide.
a horrid, over -crowded, noisy place,
and as for the artiste in whom you
are interested, you must worship
them fron2 afar if you want to wor-
ship them at all. Painters, actots,
writers and the rest—the successful
ones are enobs, the unsuceessful—
sponges. And as for the dresses, my
child, there was never a frock sent
out of Bond ?street so pretty, so
tasteful, or so becoming as the one
you have on,"
But &allele glanced down at her
blue serge gown rather disdainfully,
44d there shone in lier °yea as
brightly ate ever, that vague hunger
of a woman's first youth for emo-
tions and pleasuree, Mena every
morning's sunshine seemed to pro-
iniiite her, and whose names slie did
not know.
" Ah," she said, gaily, "but every-
body doesn't speak ilke that. I hall
wait until my friends come in the
summer ; and see what they tell me
about it."
My /ace clouded, and, Weil the
pretty affectionateness with WhIell
ehe notv always treated me, she as-
sured me that she did not really want
any &ivies but mine, and that, as
long as I Was good enough to teach
her, she 'wan content to read the
lessons of the busy world through
my eye&
Meanwhile, however, I was myeele
through those same eyes of mine,
learning a far more dangerous les-
son, and one, unluckily, which I could
never hope to impart to any woman.
I hod nu one but myself to thank
for my folly, into wheel, I had coolly
walked with my eyes open. But the
temptatiott.,to direct that fair youngl
mind had been too strong for me,
and, having price indulged in the
pleasure, the few months away had
but increased m.y craving to taste
it again. This second evitter we
worked even harder than the first.
Babicee. with her expanding mind,
and the passionate excitement she
began to throw into every pursuit,
became daily a` more taseinating
pupil...elle would slide down from her
chair on -0 a footstool at my side
when discussion grew warm between
us concerning an interesting chapter
WO had been reading. She would put
her hind on my ;shoulder with affec-
tionate persultsion if I disagreed with
her, or tap my fingers impatient-
ly to hurry my expression of opin-
ion. How easald she know that the
ugly, grave man, with furrown
in las sauteed Nee, and already whit-
ening hair, was young and hot-blood-
ed too, with passions far stronger'
than hers, inla all the stronger from'
being Iron-Jound.
SontatImee I felt tempted to let her
know teat 1 was twenty years
'younger than elle, growing up in the
belief of lier °Miami on that mat-
ter innocently thoaght. Let it cold
ineke 00 difference, in the only way
lit which! I oared for it to make dif-
ferenee, and it might render eer con-
strained with inc. After all it was
iny comparative wh'ett enabled
me to enter into her feelings, as no
dry-ae-dust professor of fifty could
have, tlotie, anti 11 was upon that
eyinpn thy Out the bond between ue
was founded. ill the happinees thie 801
00111111' 0101181/11) breeg.111; to me, 1 1 n
thought 1 had 111 le<t keenee the
to sleep, When, ite spring came back, arr
and 1 MIS beginning figitin to Oren 1 my
the return of the long ClaYe, SS event ner
happened which made leteor of the OH
most elierielied sentituents of nit not
three of us. •
TJie. lirat intimation of thla revolu- nm
Oen wale ghee by Ferguson, who le- tint
forme -1 010at lureelteon, with a eol1111
-
emilly Indignant how, that a "terra, epti
berepetable-leolong person" had of
teen 1..astering him with inatniriee ror
Cr. Mande, 41111after hating the door gre
shat lo Illstwee had taken bleneelf oft, ibl
•0 league:on feared, Iu the (ittwoon roir
A the cottage, to bother the Lulea. tier
tie Inaler'e eel ke of Mre. Meer lied ele
;men 410W1.& 1111 ler her conetnut
18 .1.tittr" ta ,l mi 11. fiat
kalW 1.110.t jillt Was &boat the sta.- sue
cir, en. I nate natt ;loot Ile help- the
el thenn
tetage:tit neva' man rneee WO
Weed rergueon erinily. rete
tlentgat ii,) more of the Inaident, met
vliteli the Meier had repertel .410- 111-.
s:y lite:time up among the hills the
•
Willett we were theta eogegete for
tWelltY suinntee; anti Urea, ttillioet
alarmed tie (mete q,j tieueuel occur-
rence, I WAS getting up too 411d
*mike inquiries at .the cot-
tage witele1 eard her wellaelown
footstep ttirough the open haledoor.
liven btete e she (tame ie I kne$v gest
sureelaileg bad Ineppenecl, for utstead
or running in all eager, laughing
allolettat, 4s wee tier Way ou the rare
eeetteions When elm was a te,e min-
ute?? liete, I heard Iter crews the hall
very elowly ana hemitate at tit. door.
"Come In, corue u,Babiole ; steutt's
the t ter ?" 1 cried eta, hope-
tientey.
Sate came in then quickly., and field
out her liane to me as elm washed me
lgoott enternoon. But there was HQ
smile on ner face, wad the lieht fieetn.,
ed to hare goue one of her eyed.
'Weat le Itt child ? aomething hue
liaPpellede kaid 1, as I drew her
dowu into her usual chair.
kRie shook tier head and tried to
Muesli, but suddenly broke down, and,
Wresting' into teare, leueed hr face
afeetinst her hands and eobbed bit-
terly.
was horribly eistreseed. 1 tried
Nate Vague word e of tetusolation for
the iteasnown evil, and Lehi niy hand
lightly on coo lieevIng ehoelder, only
to witliaraw it no if seetred by the
tonolu Then! 1 :tee down quiet!), and
waitea, while Tatatt, met?. daring
eet upl a kindly howl ot eympa,thotic
italleeltation, which happily caused a
diver,slati.
"I mightto be asheenea of myself,"
elle estate sittting upright, awl drying
her eyes. "I don't know what you
mut think of me, Mr. Maude."
"I don't thine anything of you,"
I *saki at random, beleg tar too mach'
destressed by lier unbappiness to
think of any wovela more eppropria.te.
"Now tell me, what he the matter?"
I waa no hurry for the answer,
foto I lewdalreaey a very etrong pre.
eentimeat weln.t it would be.
"Papa, has found no out ; hear lie
the cottage now.
But be wag! even nearer, as a lieavy
tread onthe stone steps outside the
front door at thia moment told me
"Hen, lem, and no one about I
And no knocker 1" we heard a thick
voice say, imperiously, as ray town -
bred vieltor stumped about the
steps.
"Look here, Bablole; I think you'd
butter go, dear, Run through the
back door, and comeort manuna."
,Taere was no WM disouising the
feet that our visitor's arrival wag
a common calamity. She made one
step away, but then turned back,
clasped my righ.t hand tightly, and
whispered:
"Remember, you don't see him at
bis best. He's e. very, very clever
man, indeed—at home."
enhen she ran lightly away, with-
out looking at me again, half con..
ecious, I am afraid, poor child, that
her apology was but a lame one.
I rose and went 'to tite hall to in-
vite MY visitor Ib.
JELAWIIElt II.
Mr. Ellmer's appearance had not
improved with the lapse of years.
Ile was dressed hn the same brown
avereoat that be bad worn whoa I
made hie •acquatatance seven ;years
ago. It had been new then, but it
was very old, worn axle greasy now;
still I think It meet have been In
the habit of leang by for long pert -
ods out of its owner's reach, or it
eo.uld, scarcely have • held together
to wen. Mr. Winter wore a round -top.
ped felt hat a size too large for him,
with a very wide and rather curly
brim, from under which his long fair
hair, which lute the appearance of
being kept In order by the occasional
appLeation of pomatum rather than
by the e.onstant use oi the comb, fell
down over a paper eollar in careless
profusion. The sante change for the
worse was apparent in the man
himself. His face was more bloated,
his look more shifting, the whole
man was more sodden end more
etvaggering than he had been
seven years ago. If et had not been
for the two poor little women ea'
tuilucklly bound to him, I would
not have tolerated mice a repulsive
creature even 00 my doorstep; but
for the Emilie of making such terma
With hint as would rid us all of les
gi
obtioous presence, I held out my
band, which Ile, after a moment's
hesitation, .took and .dropped out ote
hie flabby palm, with a look ol
horror at my scarred face.
"Will you come in said I, lead.-
ing the way into the Study, which
Ito examilied on entering, tvith un-
ptioisignutlinseendt. ant] contemptuous (asap -
"Have you come far to -day, Mr.
Khmer ?" 1 asked, handing him a
chair, which I inwardly resolve.ci
for the future to dispense with,
baying, sentimental feelings about
the furbiture of my favorite room.
"Yes, well, I may say 1 have. Ali
the way from A.berdeen. And it's a
good pull up here (roue the station
to a g,eetlentan who's not used to
inuelt walking. exercise."
lie spoke in a tow, thick voice, very
daileult: to hear and understand, his
eyes waildering furtively from one
object to another all the time
"Did you have mueli difficulty in,
finding the place 7"
"01), yes, She had taken care to
hide heresell well." And hie face ?slow-
ly eontracted with a hovering and
brutal eexpreesion. "She thought I li
obouldn't find themp here. But I
swore I would, and when I swear
a tilling ites as good as done,"
"I hope you foutei your wife and
daughter lookleng well."
"Oh, they're well enough, of course;
trust them to get fat end flourish:
Ing, while their husband and father
may be starveng,"
Now this was laughable; for what-
ever tle(ecte Mr. Elimer's appearance
might have, the leanness ot starve -
tion wade not one of them.
"They were by no means fat and
flourielang when 1 Oral: met them I
assure you,'' I add gravely.
The brute turned his eyes on me
with 5(0))and sullen ferocity.
"That was not my Omit, sir," he
whispered, with affected lunnility,
being evidently far too stupid to
Know how his looks oeltea his words,
• They had been tway from Me for
ne time: my whe left me because
-no unable to eupport her in Maury',
depreseion in ert beirtg very
at itt this moment, eir. She took
ng lier up in her mill extriangnnt
1:01).01.1"1 awee, frome me to teach
to hate !ler w
on father, :old 10
She hes; awed herself of those
v," 1glad ; "tete lives on the barest
?gee:teary 1.0 keep two people
.0. It is, unfoettinatelv all I eatt
re for her kinditeet hi takitig mere
my cottage."
hiR wee trIlf‘. I had often te-
tte() 1 het the poor liaison inflext
ilklepelldeflee had made her fe-
e to nemept more than enoweli tor
010 her 110 ugh ter, with the
t PRt. 000110017, to 1110 mute.
w, 1 rejoieal 10 thilik that she
I abeolutely 00 savinge to be
ked down into the greedy maw of
creature before nue eft, wattle
re ovidenthr MP echo of 80110
tonere, Iliet had boon already
he hellevee neither
(Po be COht)eteetle
iS .
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it I./ I
ere welauseeteres e
dent et 1111kIMW 11 (n)e Is 8.0 t.vent.
Ititt et 4 oaloelt lettere.. .110 not
!wear ; I1. welt net, h,akllzg T
hrearell the p3f1f. ; of etree‘nar Short eie
lettere Of the retell:it Ve0111..1, on W11
he woman who marries for etatel
('01 (08 1 ho 1 revenge 18 1101 las
ys meet.
'MY 010 NOT MARRY.
Iliellodranas the Retrial of a WidetV'S
31sttrimeolai Aevertleement.
()tie day recently the Manz
peblishea at Berlin, eontained
the following uavertleenient
A lady cif mature 40, but looking
Yetaig and feeling eisa—t411, blonde,
liepoeleg and graceful, et the seine
time ricia-wittliee to again; enter the
bonds of matrbuolty,
The lady receivee a neureleer of re-
plies, but she Was pot long In de -
One of them took her Taney,
and she arranged an interview. She
would not, she said, receive the man
tn her own Meese before *they had
seem each other. on neutral grouna.
Teeratore, on a certain day elle
would be on the main platform inside
the Friedrielistresse etationt wear-
ing inher coreage a nosegay of lil-
ies of the vellea; while the gentle-
man wee asked to wear a red noise
in Ole button hole.
With beating hearts they arrived
en. the platform, madam wearing the
mad monsieur his red rose. But
before either had time to beat a re-
treat or stuff into their pockets the
compromising breigee madam found
hereeif face to face wIth her oWn
0011 1 Madam turned as white as her
illies and niontsieur as red as Ole rose,
and both speedily took to their heels.
Keep Minard's Liniment in the
House.
lie Knew the Sex.
leoung Wife—I don't pee Why we
can't get a plain cook. I have ad-
yereated for ope della for more
time two weeks,
HulebanKI Aeveritate for a good
lookin.g one, my dear, and You'll !nave
a dozen applicants the first dash
out of the box.—Chicago News.
Ask for Millard* and take no
Other.
The sealdelleaded man.
A little tot of five years was tient
to the store by her mother to make
a purcbase. On her return her mo-
ther fouled the goods to be uneatis-
factory and purposed rettimiling them
herself, so she asked the lettle girl
to tell her from which clerk she had
bought them. She received the fol-
lowing anewer: "I don't Juet know
las name, mamma, but It's the man
with the piece of face on top 01 1118
h ead."
Steps the Cough
and Works Off the Cold.
LaxativeBromo quinine Tablete cure a cold
in one day. No cure. No pay. Price 05 cents.
A Brave Bor.
Pat was a servant ot an English
lord, and was a heavy drinker. One
morning after lie got drank, his ?flee-
ter called him and told him to try
and not . go in the saloon at the
corner.
He tried It and could hardly keep
Ids feet from turning in the saloon,
so toted they were to going in. When
he got to the next corner he put
ele hand on his shoulder and said to
himself : "Pat, you're a brave boy;
come back and I'll trate you."
" KELPION "4
'iTAffi".
Ming
Endorsed by bast Engliall modlooljournals.
Supplied to British soldiers In South *Moo.
For all throat and gland Troubles. Lumps,
Abscesses, Old Soros. Ulcers, Felons, Skin
Disoasos. Eczoitto. Pimples, Stiff Joints,
alhoutnatism, Lumbago, Sprains. erulass„
Plies. COS, Sor• Foot, Pleurisy.
Sold by Druggists. 250. Tr Y It 5805.
'For Failing Hair.
Halt an ounce of camphor with one
ouuee or borax diseolved In a quart
of water, preferably rain water,
makes a very efficacloue wash for
falling hair. Heat the water before
adding the camphor and borax, as
th1 iv111 facilitate the dissolving of
the ingredlenta Bottle, and keep
closely corked for use. Apply freely
to the ecalp two or three times a
week.
Minard's Liniment Is used by Phy-
eiciante
Tonsorial Repartee.
(Chicago Tribe ne.)
" How do you part your hair ?"
said the barber after he had finished
cutting it.
" With a comb,' replied the irri-
table customer,
"I didn't know. It looked, when you
mane in, are if you ineela have, been
doing it with a hayrake."
How are all at home? Buy a bottle of
Painkiller to -day and you will be itsured
ugainst cholera znorbus, diarrhoea and
kindred troub/em. The old re/table Perry
Davis' Painkiller ls sold by all dealers. 25e.
and 50e bottles.
, Ile Aleant the litird.
A man once received as a present
from a sea captain a fine specimen
of the bird known les the 'laughing
jackase."
As he was carrying it home he met
an Irishman, who etopped hien,
"Phwat kind of a barrel is tleat,
eorr Pe asked the Iriehma.n.
"Theta a laughing jackass," ex-
plained the owner genially,.
The 11.1811111am thinking he was be-
ing made fun ot,was equal to the
°melon, and responded with a
twinkle of the eye; "It's not yeeself,
ita the bursa I mane, eorr,"
4.1•••.•=0•••4•11.11.1101.11110•10.11140111-
PI les To prove that
chase's Ointment 15 a, certain
and absolute cure for each
a te you Dr.
and every form of itching,
bleeding and protruding piles,
the reatturecturers have guaranteed% Rotes.
timonials in the daily prom and ask yonr neigh-
bors what they think of it • You eon Use. it and
Setyour mono book if not Cured, 50e a bog at
all azters or DMANS0N,BATES & Co.,Toronte,
, Dr:Ohaso's Ointment
NaleauleamoimermeMsneememonumeouteueleumnivoinomonnuor
GOOD
THINGS
TO EAT
From Libby's fantails
hygictiok 1 to hens.
We employ 5Chef
vriao Is au expert la
making
LIBBY'S
Natural flavor
Food Products
We don't practice economy here. Reuses the
very thoicest matelot. A. stelae en your
pantry shelves enebles 700 80 have oinnyo at
hind the esieutlels ler the very best meal*.
LIBBY, McNBILL & LIBBY
ORIO/R10, tt. 4, A.
Vela ter our booklet ',Rote VC * Goon
aneragre
SOFT CORE
Like the running brook, the
red blood that flows through
the veins has to come from
somewhere.
The springs of red blood are
found in the soft core of the
bones called the marrow and
some say red blood also comes
from the spleen, Healthy bone
marrow and healthy spleen
are full of fat,
Scott's Emulsion makes new
blood by feeding the bone
marrow and the spleen with
the richest of all fats, the pure
cod liver eil. •
For pale school girls and
invalids and for all whose
blood is thin and pale, Scott's
Emulsion is a pleasant and rich
blood food. It not only feeds
the blood,making organs but
gives them strength • to do
their proper work., .
Send for free emulate.
SCOTT .ftc SOWNE, Clte=lato,
Toronto, Ontario,
4oc. and tt.co ; oll druggists.
Chance tor Study.
He had been, studying the lines of
her hand for several menutes.
"Pradeeply interested in palmis-
try," he said nt loot.
"Perhaps yea 'would late to bave
hand for practice," she suggested.
Teat is bow he smeared 1lers.--0111-
eago.
One fact is hatter than ten hearsays. Ask
Dr. Burgetm,Supt.nospltal for insane, Mont -
reel, where they have used it for years, for
Ole opinion of "The D. & L."Meuthot Plaster.
(let the genuine, made by Davie & Lawrence
Vo., Ltd,
Pointed Sayings.
Xt le rather harder to be 'petty
outdoors; there is so much breadth
all around.
Do I believe in ehaperonage? Yes,
for my boy.
It won't do to be only partially a
lady.
Cornets are probably male; their
eccentricities can be computed.
The most uninteresting person to
the 'world is he who le interested in
everything equally.
There is more joy in one sinner
Who makes up a quorum than over
the ninety -and -nine who comesregu-
tarty.
Before giving one's life to a cane°
it is well to be sure that the gift
is of some value.
To ()beery° the habito of an eaten-
oderm—that le science. To do the
same thing for a man—that is only
fiction.
Temperament covers a multitude of
sins.
It le queer how much tyranne"
elip-
sliod people discover.
Life happens to some folks only in
novels.
If mere ideas are not truth, they
are at least the cloth of which it
ie made, ,t
Nothing worries n. woman ao much
as; riot to belong to thinge.—Dorothy
Moore, in the Century.
RNOLIs11 sae:vele LINIMENT removes
an hard, soft or calloused Lumps and Elem.
lehee front horses, Blood Spavin, Curbs,
Splints, Ring Bone, Sweeny, Stifle*,Sprai,
Sore and Swollen Throat, Coughs, etc. Save
$50 by use of one bottle. Warranted the
moot wonderful Blemish Cure ever knorrn.
Sold by all druggiste.
New 'Fable Pads.
A now material for table teadahas
recently beete placed upon the mar-
ket. It is made of asbestos cloth.,
woven so soft that,it cannot injure
the moat highly pollehed table; it Is
altsolotely heatproof.
Monkey Brand Soap removes all stains,
rust, dirt or tarnish—but won't wash
clothes. 26
A Lincoln .loke.
In 1862, Col. Alexander, of To-
peka, an intimate friend of the Pre-
eident, visited lam at Washington,
and found him greatly depressed,
"Tele being Prealdent isn't all It is
cracked up to be, is it, Mr. Lincoln?"
inquired he. "No," said Lincoln, his
twee twinkling momentarily. "I feel
eometlmee like the Irishman, who,
after being • ridden on a rail, said,
'Begorry, It wasn't for the honor
av, the thing, I'd rather walk!'"
New York Central wad Hudson River
• Railroad.
The above name Is a household
word arid th0 euperlor eXaeltenee of
tho road should be suffloient to at.
tract most people, but now that the
rate Is the saran to New York and
pointer east as by other lame no
further recommendation should be
sought. EVerybody will tell you it
Is the beet.
History Rewritten.
Shakespeare was asked what he
thought of the Bacon cerntroverey.
93acon 7" be replied. "Where have
I heard that weird before? 00, yes;
Vex don't meaa te tell me Chicago
lEi claiming my works: too?"
However, finding. that Chleageams
Were so scrupulously refined that
they <treated their hogs, ite disnsiso-
ed the idea as uneotertha.
'e'effersoei had been grinding, for
three deale to turn out a sellable
Declaration of Iedependenee, but
seemed unable to state the case
',Wrongly enough.
"Easeeka, I" he cried, "A happy
thought 1 I Shall centre my Mind
on the ceek
renewing this plan, he <leashed off
the little remark& he had intend-
ed making when he discharged
Bridget, and the resnit wee the
lemmata:I document venerated by
all trite Americans.
awl.* Awe
Ponta the'Indian prinee ,had just
been taken prisoner when Alexan-
der naked hlte how he eXpeeted to
be treated.
I "Like n, king 1" itepliel the mart -
ern warrior.
Pleat:eel by the manliness of the
answer, Alexander immediately
Made him janitor et the Flatiron
depatanent luniee, anti the two
potentates same so closely to bled -
WINO as to' be dubbed Perim plae-
tettee--N. Y. Sun.
' TO Might A eitelele IN telslit leA.V
Take Laxative Brehm Quinine Tablets. All
druggista refund the money 1111 fails to enre.
2.W. drove's signature leen eatil, hot. 250.
80000000000‘;00000000000
THE HIPPO AND
8 THE LAUNCH
0000000000000000000000000
"le evening ivos foggy 4101 the
1000014 going slow, when turnieg
sharp bend covered wIth overhang-
ing trees, we ran right into the mid -
die of eight or tea hippo wallowing
ender the shallow banes. Seizing a
.:103 earl:Awe Whiell WAS lying near
me, 1 climbed onto the very athlete
itappery sun deter, had no keel
of railing or caber Proteetien round
it. terveritig a hippo about twentY
yards off, 1 fired at hie epine and
bit him bard ; the latteeli had mewl-.
time eased off dead slow, and 1 \MS
reloading when there wile a roar anti
te tweak', and I fount) myself pitelied
violently on my faee; I elaruht have
been hurled overboard, only that l
managed to hold on to the small
lannel; it was Indeed a CaSe of from
the. frying pan Into the fire, for
though 1 Wee just able to remain
on bottal, my hands and arrOS %vete)
badly burned, and / soon ball to let
go. '114e hippo had come straight for
118, and was now under the launeli
bumping; 013 for all he was w-ortit ;
crawling along the'deck, I jumped on
eo the stera, and orgy just in time,
for the skipper, as anxious As I Virtlf4
to get away from muth unpleatiant
surroundings, bad begun to go full
speed ahead, and In consequence the
blade of the propeller struck the hip-
po—a nasty Jar for both, of us, ae
the helm: was hard on, and the little
lattaelt reeled at the blow; every-
thing on board was eent flying in all
directions, but next moment we
Were free. I HMV my hippo no more,
though we steamed about till dark
be the hope that he might turn up—
Ernpire Review.
ISSIJJ. NQ38, 1.99g.
Ragged clothes quickly—
that's what common soaps
with "premiums" cost; but
stir
UNLIGIIT
OAP
KVOITCE0
EXPIDUSit,
Ask for the Octagon Ear 241
LARUEST OF EARTH'S MINS,
raxteenei net? Ride Just CoillO101 ed ne
Watervliet Arsenal.
Tho blegetet gun In tile world le
now practitally cumpleted and :welt-
ing Ito carriage In elle shove ot the
army gun Tactory at 1Yettervliet, N.Y.
It woe planuee ten yeare ago,
luta been over °five years in priesests
.af eonetruetIon. IL le the most waver -
lea engine of deot rue tem kilown,
alien compared to it the largest gun
bide: In the civil war timees looks 11110
toy cannon. Thie new weapon le
IfIlOWe as a eixteeti-inch breeelt-
loading rifle, and 11 is intended for
tittrix)r defence. Porty et th'esi mon-
eters were recommended by ihe En-
elloett board for the harbors of New
York, 13a8ton, Seri Francisco and
Hampton Road. New yore wart to
helve elgeteen, Beaton eight, San
Francleteer ten and Hampton Roads
Idea According to present inten-
tione tills number will be somewhat
reduced.
Some Iflea of the. SIZe rind
power of
tees gun may be hate (rem the fact
Minardet Liniment Lumberman's that It throws; e projocalle weighing
Friend.
Pat's idea of u Can't Hook.
Here is a tree incident which'
took place one day while a number
of meta were at work piling aaw-logat
Of course Pat was the man chosen
o go to another part of the wood's
after a cant -hook, but never having
seen one before, and too Independ-
ent to ask what It was like, Ito
etaited off, resolved to bring the
fleet thing which lie thought re-
sembled one. After eearching for
some time, he discovered a. niuley
cow.
"Be japers," said Pat, "I've found
one at last. Ill drive her over any
way, for,1 eee She cant -hook.'
Messrs. 0. C. Richards' So Co.:
Gentlemen,—In June, '98, I had
my hand and wrist bitten and
badly mangled by a vicioue horse.
suffered greatly for several days
and the tooth out refused to heal,
until your agent gave me a bottle
of MINARD'S LINIMENT, which I
began using, and the effect was
magical. In five hours the pain had
ceased, and In two weeks the
wounds had completely healed and
my hand and arm were as well as
ever. Yours truly,
A. E. ROY.
Carriage maker, St. Antoine, P.a.
4. •
.1: :
AN ARAB xl•
: moms PRAYER 1:
1:
A correspondent of the London Post
who hen witnessed a pilgrimage to
Mecca, records the following prayer
w.hich he heard delivered there by
an Arab pilgrim:
"0 Almighty God 1" he cried, "now I
am sure You tvIll not send me to
hell. A oleo° in paradise is serely
reserved for me. e You know I was
not rich, being only a poor barber,
but through me economy and per-
severance I laid by HOMO money. My
first intention was to buy a wife
with my savings, but beiug, as You
know, a sensible man, I thought it
more advisable to make use of them
to come to Your, house, first of all,
to insure myself a hour' in para-
dise, and remember, 0 my Lord, that
I want a palace as *ell. I do not
want les be a shaver in the next
world. We read in the traditione
that those who hold high positions(
hero will be miaerable hereafter,
whereas the wretched in this life
will be rich in heaven. So I im-
plore You, in the name of etahomet
our Prophet, who WAR created be-
fore thle world ern.s made, and who
will sit on your right hand on the
day of judgment aml plead on bee
half of his people, to nsten to niy
requests. When I return home I
have nothing to live on. Therefore,
I want a comfortable living to be-
gin with. Med, since 11 may bo long
before I amail the heart You are re-
serving for me in paradise, I want to
have a nice little wife now. You,
know the kind: of womase I like. No-
thing is hidden from You. lam not
greedy, and ete 1 shall not auk yea
for many. But, 0 Lord, may I ask
You for two? For, 00 You know
full 'well, it is hot_ in the nature ot
a man to bo contented' with one."
Sprained Ankle
Cured
Another
Remarkable
Case Where
St. Jacobs
011
Worked
Wonder
MIL W. 11. ALL8s, „In., of la Denmark
Street, Aeton, 13Irminglient, vete* under
date of May 2001, 1800; "I am a driver for
the Keyetone Bottling Co., of Birmiligham/
and tOad the trilsrortnne to be pitched oft
my wagon, and besides being bruised front
head to footankle 3A111b WAR put out and
my toot severciy wattled. 1 tried many
embrocation/I, but reeeived no benefit; I then
went to the lioepltal, but slier having been
treated fOr a ronsidernble 111120, I Ira, not
nny better. 1 then determined to try St,
,Tacobe 011, and 1 ean assure you that before
used the contents of ono bottle rny ankle
wee as sound 118 090*, and 1 wee nide to go
to work ns if nothing had happened."
HOW'S THIS ?.
We offer One Hundred Dollars' Reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot he wired by
11'8 Catarrh cure.
If. ,T. CHENEY 1800., Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have known F. J.
Cheney for the last 15 years and believe him
jhel!ectiy i101IOrabIs in all business trans.
actions and financially able to earry 001 1(0)'
obligations made by their firm.
WEST & Tnunx, Wholesale 0ruggist/3, To.
ledo, 0.
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, 0.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally,act.
lug directly upon the blood 4101 MUCOUS NEI'.
fate of the system. Testimonials sent free.
Price -75e per bottle, Sold by all druggists,
liana Family Pills are the best.
lW'..
CV 0
............,........................- ,.......
lierriitrell"r ?I
Ifs
I C71114 IM
The highest salaries in the professional
world are pant to
I L.. L. La s-rve40,-rea 1FE
Practical illustration in all 11* branches
le successfully taught BY MAIL or at our
resident school.
The Only School of Illustration in Canada
In affiliation with a largo and respon-
Fable educational Institution.
Superior COPersonal Instruction Terms moderate
R1150 ! Helpful Critic/ern
Expert Instructors Pfteitione Waiting
Thorough investigneor. &etched,
Write to -day for beautiful booklet Ely,
IngfullInformation. Adams
'CANADIAN SCHOOL OF ILLUSTRATION
Yonge and Gerrard Ste., TORONTO, CAN.
R. W. Mama Dir. Dir. W. 11. Strew, 21)0,
..".".".""".....%• WV,/
Lo_tiply
Diamond Rings
Mounted in our o svn
factory, with Dianaorais
personally selected In
Amsterdam, twenty-five
dollars, fifty dollars,
seventy-five dollars, one
hundred dollars. Every
one of these Diamonds are
of such quality that the
most critical cannot find
fault. Send for catatolue.
AMBROSE KENTOONS
0,
1000001.11Pilivotru7.,00.0,
ICC YOttte 5?
/J1.10c""5101lICHMOND ST WEST
TIMODITDA
BUTTER FIND EGGS
POULTRY CHEESE
COMB AND EXTRACTED RONEY
Good facilltic.s for handling. Consignments
solicited. Correspondence invcited and prompt-
ly attended to. Will buy honey outright.
JOHN J. FEE 62 IP0nitgra.11"1.'
,1 BtiNIIM01UMUGrE/
Humane Swine i',Storic illarket an kt Cal t
&limner. &4p0/no( all ages from
rooting.Inakes tadllterent ear 'nark', all
with.me blade, 1221r0el1 florist.
'testimonial" free. 1rIee$1.10 orserill 51
for trial ((I worlm,aend brilanee.Pet'd a talint
SA '02for17 yr.; CartadaDeeit
IS)rs. Minn Ftlitsld*I•wly 0.11.
sp-AVE YOTI SERN TDB GREATEST
-L puzzle?"—the star and crescent.
Positively the cleverest and Most entertain-
ing ever invented. 201.1: century wonder.
Price 10e, three for 25e. Empire Sup, Oo., 880
Alfred street, Kingston, Ont,
Mrs, Winslowe Soothing Syrup should
always be used for Chlidron leething, 10
seethes the Wind, softens tbegums, cures triad
code and is the best remedy for Diarrhoea.
Men and women to
represt us appoint-
Bon$am $m3Weekly
alary . en
tug agents. SOrCle to
travel, others- for local wolnapta promo-
tion and Inerease of intlary. Ideal employ.,
met% new brilliant lines. Dent plane, cod
established house.
LINSCOTT PUBLISHINGTCOOr.o,nta,
-
IMPERIAL MAPLE SYRUP.
Tho quality standard from Ocean to
Ocean, Your money belt if noteatinfactory
110511 & LAFLAME,
Agents, Afontreel,
APPLES
GEO. UPON)) it MI lontreal
We solicit your eonnignments to Montrose
'Write or wire me Prompt halm+.
11RIIIT FARM kOft SALII—ONE or TRE
finest in the Nistlara Peninsula, it
'Winona. 10 miles front Ritroiltett en two rail.
ways,ito samba In an, 55 ef ivittch is 01trot%
mostly 1050000, Weil be sold in Ono parcel Or
divided Into lotsof 1301 20 acres to !Mit par-
ehasers. This is a deolded bargain Adetroot
Jonathan Carpenter, P. 0. .bo Vieneea
Ontarki
Are ssoio
TIM GREAT LTD REMEDY will rellote them. Opens lir
Your Kra pietteant ttnd et foetual. 0141NE liriVor made an et.
eine. Tieed, weak, onre, watery, overworked, filching,
Eves :11=•rfigwiAralug 0766 wilt octoo bo an good al Wirer
Sar NO fake, Absolutely 0.11 represented. Every bonds &Ionia
ore'? hate OPENE. Remit 50 cents to our (00m and reedy*
• si bottlo of OPRbirf. Tan OPIANN CO" Wtiotkotook, Onto