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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Blyth Standard, 1908-07-02, Page 6Liberty or Death. Haruhl--Papa, did Solomon hate 700 wives'i Papa—I' believe he did, my sen. Little Harold—Was he the ct' who said "Give Cue liberty 0r give me death?" My! What a Jolt. "Lysander (sweetly), do you know what day this is?" "Sure! Onr anniversary, Margaret, dear (pretending to have remembered it all the tine)." "No such thing (frigidly-). It's the day you promised to nail the leg on that old kitchen table."—Unknown. NOT A WORD. She --There's one thing 1 admire about the Rev. Att. Huldtooth, leo always says what he moans. iso -011, no, he doesn't! When be mases the ball he generally just gran his lee1h. The Professor. The doctor—She is a good manicure, but I don't see anything of the goddess about her; The professor—You don't? Isn't site the divinity that shapes our ends? The Retort Discourteous. "Well," said the good old doctor, smil- ingly rubbing his 1uuds together as Inc entered the room, "stow do we find cur- aelves this uloruieg, .01 r. Hower' "By chasing oursches. snapped the crotchety and irritable p1nlmt, . 'Ere decided not to be sick enough to need ally call to -day, docs" With Those Restrictions. "Mother, may I go ride downtown?" "Why, yes, my little Nell; But shun the crowded surface ears, And don't go near the `L.'" Still Bearish. "Spieelia," said the ardent young mac "wlutt do you suppose your father trill say when 1 speak to hint about it'!" :He'll probably soy `Shucks!' But you mustn't mind that, Alfred, dear. He was on the wrong side of that corn deal, and It still crops out its everything he says." Of the Period. "Mts. Jaques, you will do welt to cut dowel your peI'sonnl 'bzpenses." "\thy so, Mr. Jy"es1" "Because, madam, some day you will expect to live on your alimony, and it will be a good deal less, 1 Caul assure you, than your present allowance." She Would Do. Mr, Stubbs (after engaging cook)— There's one other.thing1 suppose you should know, Miss Flannigan—my wife is a chronic invalid, confined to her room. Miss Flannigan—That's fine! I w'or ofeerd she might he wan iv thins chronic kickers that arae 1011filied t' t11' kitchen, begobs!—Puck, IIAD SEEN HER. "What do you think of Daahaway's mar- riage to that rich Bullion girl?" • ` i think 80 0011ned the money." Quite Natural. Crusty Gent --Lusher, can't you stop that fool? He is annoying every one with his violent applause. Usher—No, sir, You—er—see, he is the author of the play. --Judge. The Necessary. "Oh, doctor," exclaimed the nervous young wife, as the eminent surgeon eie tercel the sickroom, "if an operation in no0eealiry we 0041111 you to operate im- mediately! Expense is no object at all.' "We will operate at once," replied the eminent surgeon, without looking at the patient"—He1'telferget•'s Weekly. She Didn't Crack, ",Johnnie," said a teacher in at physiol- ogy class, "can you give a familiar ex. ample of the hlltl1an body as it adopts itself to changed conditions?" "Yes -sum." said Johnnie; "my aunt gained fifty pounds its it year, and her akin 11000r (racked." Puzzled. "Nature makes n+110;Ili.4 in vain.' said the 'philosopher. ")11l osopher. igen".tsps Answered Col, Stillwell. IwIgit l can't quite ev1lain the tires. e'ttde of a great Lig beautiful mint bel in a lgtnil option scanty." Washington Stat ;1 K n: icte ever ret1 Bucker on their 11 fii1n, A Transformation. 1)o. y00 think hell e kilt, A D abe—t .wonder when he speaks of He—He ' probably .15 father used to mums art. wearing them this year, --New York "Katie, do you know the policeman on this beat?" "Sure I do, ma'am." "He told me today he had taken up young Do Vern mesa; Fd eranto." ;ancestral halts? "Anti sure, what had the 01talian been us his ancestral 114011. doin', ma'am'!" --Yonkers Statesman. eta, van delver. 4y IIELPJL ADFE You won't tell your family doctor the whole story about your private illness — you are too modest. You need not be afraid to tell Mrs. Pink - ham at Lynn, Mass.,thethings yon could not explain to the doctor. Your letter will be held in the strictest con- fidence. From her vast correspond- ence with sick women during the past thirty years she may have the very knowledge that elft yourcase. Such letters as the Tol- lewsvg, from grateful women, es- tablish beyond a doubt the power of LYDIA E.PiNKHAM'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND to conquer all female diseases. Mrs. Frank Emiley, Lindsay, Ontario, writes to Mrs. i'inkhaan: "When I wrote to you some time ago, I waa a very sick woman suffering from female troubles I bad inflamma- tion of the feminine organs and could not stand or walk any distance. At last 1 was confined to my bed and the doctor said I would have to go through an operation, but this I refused to do. "A friend advised Lydia E. Pinkham'e Vegetable Compound. After naing three bottles of it, I feel like a new woman. " I most heartily t eoommend Lydia E. Pinkham's Veeggeetable Compound to all women w bo striae with female troubles" FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN, For thirty years Lydia E Pink - ham's Vegetable Qin . e .. dr made from roots and herbs, • :: been the standard remedy for female ilia, and has positively cared thousands o women who have been troubled with displacements, inflammation, ulcera- tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, tthhaat bear- ing -down feeling, flatulency, in -' tion,dlryinenaprnervonspros A Grammatical Crux. "Mamma, if I had a hat before I had this one, it's all right to say that's the bat I had had, isn't it?" "Certainly, Johnny" "And if that hat once had a holo hi it and I had It mended I could say it had had a hole in it, couldn't I?" "Yee; there would be nothing incorrect in that." "Then it would be good English to say that the hat I had had had had a hole in it, wouldn't it ?"—Atlanta Conetltu• tion. WIRE WOUNDS My mare, a very valuable one, wee badly bruised and cut by being caught In a wire fenee, Some of the wounds would not heal, although I tried many different medicine. Dr. Bell advised me to use MINARD'S LINIMENT, di- luted at first, then stronger as the scree began to look better, until after three weeks, the sores have healed and best of all, the hair is growing well, and is NOT WHITE, as is most always the case in horse wounds. F. M. DOUCET. ESKIMOS HAVE• NO OATHS, Curses Are Product ofACivillzation and Marks Race Development. Juat where teethe carate from history does not record, At first entice and without a moment for sober reflection it would seem comparatively safe to say that all languages contain sone word or words with width to express oxtram; displeasure, disappointment or pain. The old Ituut0(10 01111(0 when they 11010 pleas- ed as wet( 08 displeased. Latter-day Polk swear mostly when they are dis- gruntled or angry. The Ertglistt language matches great, ,round, broad malts for ali 011101ons. The Latin tongues, such as the French, Spanish and Italian, are Huh its expletives to be used as the event re- quires, But a language without an oath surely (1011 be no 011011 thing. 11110111u nature is the same 11ways. Pain, joy, despair or pleasure entail the suety emoti0na in the breast of the Eskimo as it does in the fiery boson' 01 11(0 Latin, But that is just where the ex. ception da, There is no oath in the Es. kimo language, Upik, "the ratan with the broken hand," stood in front of the make-believe icebergs of the Eskimo vil- lage on the north Midway at Buffalo. Upik was trying to snap up dimes with the hush of his long walrus hide whip. Upik mined several times. "Unguavin. uluk," he grunted in savage tonus;. "That is about the worst sounding oath 1 ever heard," said a nearby vis- itor, "On the contrary," said Commissioner Taber, "the worst construction You can put on that ie 'a bad old thing.'" Curs- ing is essentially a product of civiliza- tion. The lack of curses in the Eskimo tongue is merely characteristic of the en- tire simplicity of this primitive of all human races. Smothered Chicken. The chef told Rufus that they were going'le have smothered chicken for din- ner, and he wanted him to get the chick- ens r004y. Rufus was gone a long time and the clef wenn after him and found him sit- ting on an old tub in the hot sun. "What Is keeping you so long?" the chef asked. "Boss, I can't smother these head chick- ens, altho' I has atuft up eve'y ohink, sah,' and when Rufus lifted the tub he released some very lively chickens. ♦ Minard's Liniment Cures target in Cows. Identified. NNT HAUL. A Time ' ,' fiction. t Fred. dent tons not "I tut afraid we nn My father gave me strit; rj�ut to let jou call on me." se "But, Ethel, I aw unalte: tbli t t 1 to submitting to government by injunce tion,"—Bnitin1or•c Anio'ira11. Only Three Dangers. English Tourist. this (dinette is vol.:: healthy, isn't itti 'Westerner -01a yes English Tourist phot are the things to'void out hero if one wishes to keep fat perfect health? Westerner—Bullets, knives and rope, -- Illustrated Bits, Neckties With Seed Pearls. Quite the ne puts ultra of all tics that may be selected for wnall blouses are those of silk, done in Japanese em- broidery, into which seed pearls are in- troduced. Needless to say, these will never become common, for their price puts thein beyond the reach of the ma- jority, while their beauty and exquisite- ness make them most desirable, In length they are about ten inches, and a tie consists of two ends each, that may be knotted, four in hand, or merely lapped and fastened with a stick- pin. The work on them is sufficiently fine to justify their being hung on the wall for ornaments. At the top they' are about an inch and a half wide, broadening gradually until at the bottom, which is pointed, they are three inches. The designs are the usual conventional dragons, flowers, etc., done in different ehadee, and the pearls are worked on in clusters, gradu- ating in size when the pattern lends it- self to this possibility. A bit of gold or silver thread is introduced among the Bilks, and across the bottom, to form a border, the metal predominates, Sufferers from Vita, Epilepsy, St. Vitus' Dance. Notional' Troubles er Fath elekn.es should write the UEs CO., 119 )ling etreet,Toronto fora el bottle of their Fit Cure an4 Trestle.. Enclose 10o for peewits sour paaktng. SHAPKS tihTURN TO PREY. Their 'Reappearance in the Baltic Drives Tway Small Food Fish. AB is well known, fish like a change of home, and frequently, without apparent t rensml baudm n t waters utus in which they have long disported, and are next Fouts! d some distant part of the sen. A de- sire for a change of Keene, however, 15 not the cause of the pilchards suddenly leaving the west coast of France, and the fishermen are unable to discover the reason, Now it is announced, according to the testimony of fishermen, that the shark hat returned to European waters. 10 the Baltic, where sharks had been extinct since 1750, they have made their reap- pearance in considerable numbers and several fiehing boats report having whole catches of fish devoured from the nets, which were broken, in the Belt and the Cattegat. A fisherman who fell over- board narrowly escaped with his life. Shoals of sharks, some of them large sire, have been seen off the German coast, and they are even reported as be- coming tar from rare in the North Sea. Their presence is attributed to their pur. suit of the herring shoals on the west coast of Norway, How to Make a Rosette Bow. "in making a bow," Elizabeth Wood directs in an article on "How to Make Your . Fall Hat," in Home Notes, in the October 1'earson's, "Massed- of gather. ing the ribbon, after measuring the length of loop you wish to make, take a spool of thread, and with the loose end twist the thread around and around the loop you aro making, draw- ing it in tightly; then measure the next loop and twist the thread again, and so on, as shown in diagram No. 9. In this way you can make a bow or rosette without sewing, shnpiy measuring the lengths of Aoops needed, end when bow ie Dulled out a much smarter effect is than when the loops are all gath- ered. All milliners use this method, and it is the only way to give a bow or rosette a crisp look." ♦ V Dr, Jackson, former Health Officer' of New York City, says in his report to Governor Hughes, that house flies are the cause of five thousand deaths an- nually in that city from typhoid fever and other intestinal diseases. Wilson's Fly Pads kill ell the flies and the dis- ease germs too. ♦0.• The New Hotel. An American visiting in Dublin told some startling stories about the height of some of the New York buildings. An Irishman who was listening stand it as long as he could, and then queried: "Ye havent seen our newest hotel, have yet" The American thought not. "Well," said the Irishmen. "It's so tall that we had to put the tow top storeys on hinges" "What for?" asked the American. "So we could let 'em dawn till the moon went by;" said Pat. Miserable All The Time? Dull headaches ---back aches—low spirited—hate the sight of food—don't sleep well—all tired out is the morning—no heart for work? GIN PILLS will melte you well Your kidneys are affected—either through over- work, exposure or disease, It is the Kidneys that are making you feel so wretched, Gin Pills cure sick kidneys—make you well and strong—give you all your old time energy and vitality. Cheer up—and take Gin Pitts, 500. a box -6 for ba.so. Sent on receipt of price if your dealer does not handle them, ■Oft DnUG CO. • WINNIPEG, MAN. ae • -1-aA9r saes stunt ate. SKIN SOAP Coetains the famous healing principles of Mita Ointment, combined with the purest vegetable oils. It is really a medicinal soap and a toilet soap in one. Invaluable for all skin troubles. Ideal for the bath on account of its elegant perfume. aye a cake—at druggists or sent on receipt el price. The Chemists' Co. of Canada, I,halted, Hamilton. 2$ On the Whole, We Are Happy. (Montreal Herald.) We have given the matter very care- ful attention, and have come to the conclusion that, on the whole, are have cause to rejoice. For although: I.—The weather- never quite suits us. II.—We have lost all our savings at the races. IIL—Our salary is too diminutive. IV.—Tho Beavers have tobogganed below the 500 murk. Still, on the other band: L—We can always borrow the sport- ing editors ,nnbrella. IL—We intended to play Gold Heart, but we didn't. III. --The editorial windows have been washed. IV.—We have discovered a brand of tobacco that does not. burn our tongue. (Space here for ads.) Ten cents' worth of Wilson Fly Pads will kill more house flies than three hundred sheets of sticky paper. Mr, Alfred Brown,of Merriton, Ont. say's ;—" For siyears I have not known what it was to be free from pain. No one ever suffered more from itching bleeding Piles than I did and I tried everything to get cured but failed. One day a fiend of mine who had been cured with Zam•Bu4 pave mea part of a boa to try, and the relief I sot was marvellous. I stun bought a oo pply and before I had used it all was completely cured." Or all druggists and stores, 501, .AM.—B U K RELIEVES & CUREs ? Story of a Dog. She 0005 wiser than we knew. this dog I shall tell you about—although we had given her credit for being wiser than all other dogs. She had a bed in the corner of the kitchen, and in it were three little baby dogs. One morning when I went to make my usual call and inquire after the health of the babies, the Ped was empty. I found the little nihther in n favorite nook in au upper room, but nowhere could I find the puppies, until after a long search 1 nappened to go near a lounge its the dining. room and noticed that two pillows that belonged on it were on the floor one on top of the other. I raised the top one, and there lay three little fat puppies fast asleep. Don't you see what it meant? Why, I do, as plainly as if 1 had found a letter saying, I need a rest but 1 wanted my babies to keep warm, so 1 brought them here'; but how she man- aged the whole thing no one will ever know.—Christian Intelligencer.' Looking for a Similar One, "Hezekiah;" said the ,Kaneae matron, as she adjusted her bone -rimmed glasses and opened the local paper, "11 aaye here that a woman was carried two mile' by a cyclone and didn't speak a word for three weeks." The sun-tanned farmer grabbed his hat and his spyglass. "Where are you going now, Ilezekiah1" "Whore am I going, Lucy? Why, I am going out to see if I can't eight one of them thar kind of cyclones." ♦.• Minard's Liniment Cures Colds, eta. ♦-► The Revised Version. "Is there anything," asked the preaeh- er, "that you would have me leave out of the service? Some ladies prefer to have the word `obey' omitted," "Thank you, yes," replied the up-to- date girl, "leave that out, and also the 'tin -death -do -us -part' foolishness. One never can tell in these days what may happen, you know." Wilson's Fly. Pada kill them all. • in Memoriam. (By Aldred Tennyson. The mates given are perhaps the beet' two known and most frequently Quoted from the long poem, "In Memoriam," regarded' 97 many as raw greatest in the Engllan lan- guage. The whole poem was written by Tennyson tollewhag the death of his friend Arthur Hallam. 0 yet we trust that somehow good W811 be the final goal of 111, To pangs of nature, slut 01 will, Detects of doubt and taints of blood; 'Mot nothtna walks with aimless feet; That not one life shall be destroyoa, Or cast ea rubbish to the vold, When God hath made the pile completer That not a worm is cloven In was; That not a moth with vain deelre le ehrlvell'd In a fruitless fire, Or but eubserves another's gain. Behold, we know pot anything; I can but trust ibart good shall fall At Last—tar-'oft—at last, to alt, And every winter change to spring. Bo rune my dream, but what am It An infant crying In the night: Au infant crying for the light: And with no language but a cry. The wish, that of the livleg whole No Nae may Pail beyond the grave, 1", wives It not from what we have The nest Clod within the soul? Are God anti nature then at sl.eO!e, That nature lends euoh evil dreams? Bo carefulof the type she seems, So ,carates of the single Lite; That I, oonolderine everywhere Her secret meaning in her deeds, And finding that of fifty seeds she often brings but one to bear. 1 falter where I firmly trod, And tailing with en' weight of cares Upon the great world's altar Matra Thai elope through darkneen up to God. I stretch lame hands at faith, and grape, And ,;nether dust and chaff, and call To what I Leel is Lord of all, And faintly .trust the larger hope, A new Blacksensation. A real Watch pleasure. Chewing Tobacco 2270 The big black plu g. Tallest Tree in the World. The tallest tree in the world so far as has been ascertained is an Australian guns tree of the species eucalyptus reg- nant, which stands in the Cape Otway range. It is no less than 415 feet high. Gum trees grow very las,. 'There is ono in Florida which shot up forty feet in four years, and another in Guatemala which grew 120' feet in tivelve years. This corresponds to a rise of ten feet in a year, or nearly one loot per month. • - Teas come and go, but the tea that always etaye, always leads, always ab- solutely pure, always the beet in quasi. ty is, "Salado." ISSUE NO: 27, 191)8 DEPTH OF CYCLONES. Their Motion Does Not Affectfect the Up- per -per Atmosphere. Prom the study of clouds an official of tie United States Weather Bureau 11011' '110,05 that the ordinary 070100e -s which traverse our country from west to east are not more than two or three miles in depth, although their diameter is many hundreds of miles. In other words, their motion does not affect the upper regions of the atmosphere. In the ease of hurricanes this author- ity finds that the depth is greater, amounting to as much as five or six 1_ miles. But higher currents blow direct- ly across the cyclonic and antt-cyelonie areas which produce storms and fair weather at the surface of the earth. This new theory tends to offset form- er ideas concerning the circulation of the atmosphere. •.• BETTER THAN SPANKING. Spanking does not cure children of bed-wetting. There is a constitutional cause for this trouble. Mre. M. Sum- mers, Box W. 8, Windsor, Ont., will send free to any mother her successful home treatment, with full instrutions. Bend no money, but write her to -day if your children trouble you in this way. Don't blame the child, the chances are it can't help it. This treatment also cures adults and aged people troubled with urine dif- ficulties by day or night. • •' Rev. Dr. Eddy, says the New York Press, was one of the most dignified and learned of preachers. He said that In his 60 years of church work there .were two occasions on whioh he could not re. ' 1 strain himself from laughing, One night a bad boy sat in the gallery and amused a bad boy sat in the gallery and amused himself by dropping, or trying to drop, spit balls Into the open mouth of a pil- lar of the church who had fallen asleep in the amen corder,' This incident near- ly broke up the meeting, beeause every Hain and Wniilan in the congregation was watching the performance and no one paid the slightest attention to Dr. Eddy. The other occasion which caused Dr. Eddy to laugh concerned one of Ma own sons. This youngster, going to church in a white duck suit, had a nosebleed, and, being without a handkerchief, al- lowed the blood, drop by drop, to form diagrtttna upon his trousers. He made all sorts of figures by moving his head about. Mrs. Eddy finally took notice of this performanee,'but dared not inter. rupt her husband's prayer by motherly officiausness. Ae 00011, however, as the prayer was ended she hit her boy e mighty whack—whereat the doctor laughed. •_• Take no substitutes for Wilson's Fly Pads. No other fly killer compares with them. *; Delicious Mock Chicken, Cover two cupfuls of small hominy, usually called grits. '•ith a quart of milk, Soak' it 1n -a cold place over night; Next morning cook until thick and tender. Put through your nut -grinder half a pound of blanched almonds, the sane. of pecan nuts and the same of pine ruts. Add to them half a teaspoonful of salt, two hard-boiled eggs chopped fine and a tablespoonful of chopped parsley. With your hominy form a sort of back of a chicken; put the alit mixture inside, and then cover over with hominy in the shape of a chicken. Forma the legs in the same way; fasten then to the sides; stick in a little piece of nutearoni for the bone. Brush this over with melted butter or beaten egg and bake it one hour in a hot oven, basting frequently, Serve with cream sauce.—Ls.dies' Home Journal, • Minard'a Liniment Cures Diphtheria. Gambetta's Horses, In the times of his intense popularity with a contingent of his fellow country- men, Gambetta had an experience which he was wont to tell against himself. In Paris admirers unyoked his horses and dragged the carriage to his house. Gam- betta would narrate this with an air of pride, and he would add, with a smiler "But I never saw my horses again!" Etiquette to a Degree. "You believe in etiquette to a degree, at tenet, don't you?" "Oh, yes; when n elan gives another man a dinner he oughtn't to try to bor- row money of him until the next day."— Chicago Reeord-Herald. • • Our Platform. (Buffalo News) The Chicago 'convention has vindicated our ante -convention assertions in aman- ner that is, to say the least, flattering. Henceforth, from this morning on, tins eel. is unequivocally and irrovoeablyy for William Howard Taft of Cirsolnnsitl and Yale, first last and all the time. With the following platform: I. A square meal for everybody. II. No Canadian nickies, III, No flat wheels on Main street, IV. Shortcake on Tueedaye, Thurs- days and Sundays. V. Two cherries in every cooktaiL't,''s VI. An increased navy and a diminish- ed ash gang. VII, No alarm *locks, Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper. • • Height of Land, Depth of Sea. The mean height of all the land now above the sea is referred to by Lyell as being 1,000 feet. The mean depth o1 the ocean Is at least 12,000 feet, that is, it exceeds the height of the land twelve times. This is because the ex. trema heights' of the land, although probably no less than the extreme depths of the 'sea, yet are exceptional heights, while the ocean maintains Its depths over enormous areas. Owing to the fact that the surface of the ocean to that of the 10110 is as two and a hall pulpy leave0 are cut up and macerated the whole land thirty times over were w' it all pitched into the ocean areas. No Doubt About It. The Poet—Look here, I understand that you said that the poem I had in Punksey'e this month was the worst thing I ever wrote. The Critlo—I said nothing of the kind The Poet—Ah, I am glad of that. What did you say about it? The Critic—T said it was the worst poem anybody ever wrote.—Cleveland Tender, ALWAYS EVERYWHERE dN CANADA, ASK FOR EDDY'S MATCHES Eddy's Matches have Hailed from Hull since 1851—and these 57 years of Constant Betterment have resulted in Eddy's Matches reaching a Height of Perfection attained by No Others. Sold and used L . everywhere in Canada.