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The Blyth Standard, 1908-05-14, Page 6Ar�U ressseersr Her Method. "li I turn( you, n,r little boy. 1. unt]leim't qttel with toy i)1 1(' friend, lilt Coil." ,aid tlu' eon -dine tvnpuut. Ni replied the . 1.re ^i t ms pini'']. }u d ill,' run u] n Il,<ycr turd •,torr. stilt for Ae tuplis:ed, Chat buy n( 13ronn h n'na'dl env vugrliAltimnd in college. aisettny." 'lt'liitt's !hut :"' "1 bit can keel! hi trousers tip frith q .belt ,just beautifully" Unly Suspected, • "Do you knue', I suspect 'my wife is taking money from my pocket's while I sleep'!" Suspect 111 Say, old man, when you've been marriedi as long as I have you'll be sure of it" Defective. coelia, I lioo-e been trying for five years iii 10110 your favor. It's the only aim 1 have in life," 'Oh, Herbert, you're such n poor I" mad:smun. .i— k1ISINPOltMTED. Ohl Timer—The worst experience L over 100 was .when we ran out of1' port in a gale of -wind. The Amateur—Gracious! ^1 thought sailors always drank. ruin. Choosing Her Companions. "Ella, you have been playing all the afternoon with those toy soldiers. 'I'lult's not a proper amusement for a big girl like you," said her hustler, "But, nlannna, 10m not playing frith the soldiers, 1: picked out the officers and played with theut."—Chicago News. Still in Evidence. Alittrnn tout of bouselmnting expedi- tion)--Who xpedbtion)--\Vho occupied these npa'tmoits last? Janitor—A family 11010ed Johnson. Matron—linow anything about them? Janitor—No madam, Matron (sniffing the air! --Krell. I do, That were fond of 0111000, snuirk'ant and codfish. The Suburbanite, ".1t last the spring has cane!" he s11it11, "At last it has comm to stay!" lie patent up kis window screens -- And it menet] cold next day, Gives Him No Trouble. "Uncle Henry don't you find it hard work being 0 vegetarian?" "Not at all, my boy it's only neces- sary to be conservative about it, When 1 feel an insatiable craving for n. big plate of bacon and eggs 1 111tvnys yield to it.' NATURAL. Torn—Did your wife ever take lessons In elocution? Jerry—No, she inherited R. Encouraging Theft, Prudent Swain—If 1 were to steal a kiss would it scare you so that you would scream? Timid Maiden—I couldn't. Fright al- ways makes me dtttnli,--llal1imore .hm- ('i'l0n11. The Only Way. ]heregoes a mat who made a for- tune writing poetry," 1Vlo.hat?" -No, I'm not joking. Ile wrote tender verses to a romantic young heiress,"— fiansas City Times. The Wise Rooster, "I now observe," the rooster mows, • "Where I shall shortly feed; The neighbor's wife in even rows 1'o -day is planting seed." MOW THEY LAVE ONE ANOTHER. Maud --Now, when I. am asked to sing, I move] say "Oh, I can't!" but. T always alt 00011 at the piano. tHanile--A1d let the audience find out for themselves? Quite so. Offended. One morning a rustic appeared at the window of it postal station, and after leering through the lints, inquired "Bev ycau got 'hoot 50 cents' worth of stamps, mister?" "Ccrtttinly1" replied the clerk. 'What denomination, please?" "Wit -al. sir, if it's (.any of your kind- ness, I'm n ltitptist,"-Judge. Repairs Needed, Ile millionaire's raving machine had (-rushed into the farntet's cart acid over- turned the load of potttoes, "Ell fix yon' ' roared the irate farmer, waving his whip. i Hous I peri fixing, oldman," sigh- ed the meek millionaire, 00 he rolled out of the ditch lot ,uly court plaster end arnica bandy'!" Pett;sed a Good Chance, "I'm afraid there toast be insanity in 300' family." %Pity so?" "I heat' that your daughter jilted the limn 0(1), mums the elevator in your apartment house 10 many' a pont!"— i'ottng's 1lagarine. Opposed to Change. NcnntetImre, p,rity mpolitics1"ex- clouted the 01)00 spealsitr. earnestly. 'Bat then we wouldn't have any poli?. tics," remarked an o tcanpaiguer, saak- ing his bead distal mutely,—Philadel- pl is1x'.dget, This woman Bays she WAS saved from an operation by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Coni polutd. Frank ank Easley Lindsay, Ontario, writes to Mrs. liinkham: "When I wrote to tom some time ago, I waa a very sick woman suffering from female troubles. I bad Inflamma- tion of the feminine organs and could not stand or walk any distance. At last I waa confined to my bed and the doctor said I would have to go through an operation, but this I refused to do. "A friend advised Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound After using three bottles of it, I feel like a new woman, "I most heartily recommend Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to all women who suffer with female troubles." FACT$ FOR SICK WOMEiN. For thirty years Lydia E. Pink - ham's Vegetable Compound, made from mots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for female and has positively clued thousands o woman who have been troubled with displacements inflammation, ulcera. tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, that bear- ing -down feeling, fiatulency,indiges- tion,diwiness or nervous prostration. Why don't you try it? Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for advice. She has guided thousands to health. Address, Lynn, Mass. Stood Their Ground. "Hello, 'Phrogginst The last time 3 saw you, I think, you were in it peck of trouble, Some fellow had lwtight a sub. urban lot alongside of yours and put up e. livery stable on it. Is be there yet?" "No; he's gone away, and taken the stable with him." "Then he worked his little scheme all right, did lie? Made the property holders in the block pay him a big price to get out 1" "Not at all. We bought the lot from him for about half whet he paid for it. He was glad to get away." "How did he manage it?" "I bought a dozen hives of bees and put them along the edge of my lot, next to his stable. The num on the other side of him did the same. The fellow stood it till about the middle of dune, and then he hiked. There's more than one array to skin a cat, old chap."—Chicago Tri• bone. WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE Prom October to May, Colds are the most frequent cause of headache. LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE remm'es cause, E. W. Orove on box, Mc. •-• Joke on the Judge, The appointment of Lord Coleridge re- calls that his father, when on the bench, was fond of allowing ladies to sit with him. This was particularly the ease in the famous baccarat case. Shortly af- terwards Sir Henry Hawkins (Lord Brampton) was trying a case in which some marionettes played a prominent part. Two male dolls and a female fig- ure were produced in court. "Where shall we put these figures?" asked a`lawyer. "I suppose; replied Sir Henry, mall. clously, "the lady ought to be accommo- dated with a seat on the bench."—Dally Mail, ---- PiLES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO OINTMENT le guaranteed to cure any case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protrud- ing Piles In 0 to 14 days or money refunded. 60a, o • s It Can be Done. "So you tried to drive a sharp bar- gain and got cheated again," said Sirs, Corutoedei, "That's what happened," answered the farmer. "Maybe you will learn after awhile that you can't get something for noth- ing." "No, I can't, Bel it seems like the other fellow's ca]." --Washington Stat. $e--I (cone p91hiu til ace of winning it25 this afternoon, She—What pre rented lea? ISS—'Cha other fellow had the ace,—Chips. American. Science Jottings. 'Che bee can out fly the pigeon. '1'110 mole will starve to death in a don Ii hish, witch in its efforts is nodi the sone as opium, is prepared from the cum taken from hemp. The Salvation Army has a foci ory in Isotope where musical instruments are Imola for its w011101s, (o Chinn the property of tu' 'r:0'd must be equally shared by t'ao el'i0u Hien the death of the former. Despite loner lolls, the receipts of the Suez renal ne_re greater last year than ever before, The 'Russian Government has dis- patched o part} to investigate the dis- covery of mammoth remains which was reported front the province of Yakutsk in Northeast Sib''.in. A ronua'l:ahle fea• turn of the d1seo'e'1 Is the existence in the intestines of this ox ' ct animal of perfectly conserved food, relies of a vegetation until non unknown to science. The expedition is expected to be absent for n year or morn, The framework of tabs mammoth is to he de• posited in the St. Petersburg Afnsemn of the Academy of Arts, where there is already one other specimen. Although electro -deposition is one of the oldest arts in which electricity is practically entnloyed, some remarkable improvements have been made in it. during the past fen' yeas. One of the most novel of these is a meehanleal de - vier for Dieting small ahiles !melt n a strays or pins. u'liici] formerly had to. he strung by hand on wires or plated in baskets. these arc not' damned into a porous linnet plaeed into the plating solution and revolved by meeldoery, In the erection of a raihond bridge over the Susquchnnee River At Havre de (Grace, the American Brider Com- pany will make ase of what is probably tine largest wood block ever mode. It has leen made ecpreially for the w0i'1: ael weighs 1,350 pends, measures 30 Indies oeroos the shell mid is rated at 50 tons capneity. '1'11e shnelde is n solid forging 3 1.2 inches thiole, The Mikado has n cops of fro (teeters nod 30 priests. England consumes 70 ounces of tn- beenn per 0011011 per heed. Fish-hooks have been made on pre- eis(ly 111e sante design for 2,000 rr"= Antwerp and Amsterdam have ill' hest 11001111 recants of all European ei• ties, Deep•wete' diving ran he carried on with safely to n depth of 210 feet pro- vided proper precattions are Olsen alai suitable appliances used, scl'nrding in a report of the British Admiralty Con- mittoe appointed to investigate the snh- jeet. A WINDSOR LADY'S APPEAL. '1'o All Women: I will send free with full instructions, my home treatment, which positively cures Letico'rhoea, I?I- cerat:ion, Displacements, Falling of the l'ionb,, Painful er Irregular Periods, Uterine or Ovarian 'Tamers or Growths, also Hot Flushes, Zo'vorsnrss, Aldan - choly, Pains in the Bead, thick or Bow- els, Kidney or Bladder Troubles,• tvliere muscat by weakness peculiar to our sex. You can continue treatment at home at a cost of only about 12 cents a week. Aly book, "Woman's Own lfcdieal Ad- viser," also sent free on request. Write to -day, Address MS. AI, Summers, Box I1, 8, Windsor, Ont. Sure to Sell Stock, Cooper--lVlly in the world does I3rainwood roll in bis sleep and blow like a steam engine? Guyer -41'11y, he is dreaming of his great scheme, Gunner --What scheme? t uy'ef—Why, it sl'Iieme to form a stock company and drop the north pole into Vesuvius and supply the world with steam. *se ENGLISH SPAVIN LINIMENT re. moves all hard, soft and calloused lumps and blemishes from horses, blood spavin, curbs, splints, ringbone, sweeney, stifles, sprains, sore and swollen throat, coughs, ete. Save $50 by use of one bottle. Warranted the most wonderful blemish Cure ever known. Sold by druggists. • -• Leap -Year Worries. , .Tack—What's the matter, old man? You look worried, Tom—Oh, Miss Faintbeart keeps me guessing. She hasn't proposed yet. Jack—But you told me you didn't in- tend to marry her. Tom -I (don't. But, after all the time Eve waste(! on her. 1 think she might et least give me a chance to refuse her. 4"f The person who hos once experienced the pleasure of a cup of delicious "Saluda" Tea —that feeling of satisfaction that its pur- ity and flavor guarantee, is not a aslly per- suaded to accept a substitute. ".l13' clerk over there at the liquor counter," said the proprietor of the large establishment, "iY tt believer in occult phenomena" "So I see," replied the cuss tnm(hr, as he noted the cleric deftly staking a bottle up into it 710)1011)0. "At this very moment. 1 observe, he is en• gaged lin spieit-wrapping.'—Baltimore I xsei° i3le All The Tirne? Dullhcadacltc: backaches—low spirited—hate the sight of food—(don't sleep well—a11 tired out in the mowing—ono heart for work? GIN PILLS win muulie You well Your kidneys are affected—either through over- work, exposure or disease. It 0 the Kidneys that are making you feel sowretched. Gin Pills cure sick kidneys—make you well and strong—give you all your old time energy and vitality, C . cc op—and take Gin Pills. 5oc, a box -6 for ;lz to. Sent on receipt of price if your dealer does not handle them. BOLE DRUG CO. - WINNIPEG, MAO. 88 SEVERE BURNS HEALED BY ZAM-BUK, The little girl of 3lro, Lewis Best, of Carlisle P. O. recently fell ngniust the stave told loomed her forehead very bad- ly. Mrs. Best. n'sl the Lnrn was 110)1 the size of a fifty -cent piece, and w,)a ter the hone, It mule my lilt!)' '101., eye swell till it :llntost Riot, and thin she got void in it. It begat to not mall a very badly. and 1 could not stop it. allleittgli 1 bellied it good every night end wonting. .1t last 1 sent for some Zana -Bok, wilful] soon stopped the mat- U'rotion sal very quickly healed the Hound, 1 hale never seen a born heal .so quickly, and f am sure %ant 1Tult has no equal for euamg cuts, or burns, 004.1 I shell always keep a box on hand in cline of e niergen'y." Every home needs Zem-Ilnk1 All dis• rases of the skin quickly yields to it. 1t is also ah 000011ett remedy for piles (blind or bleediugl, rheumatism, eta .111 druggists nod stores. 10 emits a box, or post, paid from the 7,0m-13111 Co„ 'To• Tonto. John Burns and the Kiddies. A characteristic story of John Burns is told by n correspondent, the corre- spondent having had it from the master of a London secondary se11ool. .1 colleague on the staff of the school WKS accustomed to take his boys to Bat- tersea Park for Manes of football and cricket. e t, A small tip to the policeman, 's i was formto erre the best it r said, s d e( e s u h • stall children of the 1 he lid t s pt „ u were turned off to allow neighborhood 11 the boys to play. One day the police - mat saw the nester and bis class op- proa0hing and began to clear the ground. A stentorian voice front 0 neighboring tree cried, ''Leave those kiddies alone. The park is for them and they shall not be turned offf.' _And down clambered the president of the Local Government Board, ---British Congregationalist. A Toilet Luxury Mira Skin Soap is a delight to every woman who values a soft, beautiful skin. Mira Skin Soap takes away all skin irritations—cures skin troubles—and keeps the ',kits dear and summit. Elegantly perfumed — refreshing — unsurpassed for toilet and bath. a5c a cake -at dinrgisle ar sent on receipt of price. The Chemists' ea. of Canada, Limited, Hamilton, 14 01505 MARK 650)005000. SKIN SOAP 22 With a Little Help. "Willie," asked his mother, "who is that boy yol have been out playing with?" "Why, that's Fred—Fred, maw, what's them things le the lop of tt barn?" "Ref let's?" "No, that ain't it. it's---" "Shingles?" '"Aar, no! Forder down." "Pigeons l" suggested his father. "Naw! \othin' like that." "Oats?" "Course not, It's then: things you nail the 101 hs to." "Yon don't mean ,joists?" "'Chat's it! Joyce! 1 was playin' with Fred Joyce." IMPORTANT TO FARMERS.` Highest prices paid for SWEET AND SOUR CREAM shipped to Not Particular. "111 like to get some nice shirts for my husband. Tomorrow's his birthday, and I avant to surprise him." "Yes, mm'ant, Whitt size?" "Does that make nay difference? 0, assorted sizes, I suppose, George can weal' almost anything, But there must- n't be any saw teeth of the collar. He's got some of that kind, and he doesn't like them" TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets, Druggists refund money If it falls to cure. E. W. GROVES signature le on each box, 25e. o•• No Occasion for It. "My dear," said the old man to his oily daughter on the morning of her wedding day, 'I that see how 1. am going to get along without you." "Now don't lot that worry you, papa," replied the fair mall, as she ad,jnsted her bridal Veil. "George confessed to me last night that he hadn't money enough even to buy a secoul-hand stove so instead of losing me it looks as if we were going to stay right with you." Minard's Liniment Lumbermen's Friend. Wireless on the Great Lakes. Wireless telegraphy proved of inesti• mania value during the past season in the Movement of vessels of the great lakes By its use the captains of ves- sels were Lent in almost constant ton_h with the offices of their companies and in many instances orders were given them, changing plane by which thou- sands of dollars were saved to the ship- owners, colder circumstances which could not have been accomplished in any other planner. In some eases, it is Raid, that wish messages were deliv- ered in three minutes' time. The value of the service in this capacity is demon- strated by the fact that although it was not fully in operation until the latter part of the season, no less than 70,000 were exchanged. At the opening of the season there were but two stations in operation and three were put into ser• vic'c. Historic Houses of London -Somerset House, ht1500 1110 specie now covered by Sooner - ISSUE NO. 20, 1b06 set house teas chaired by the Protector Som- AGENTS WANTED. e set for the erection of a palace. To obtain the prwes0ery stone 11t least two religious buildings were demolished. Brat before the building was completed the i ioimsur was be- headed and the property 00000004 to the (Town, Henceforth Somerset 'Houde became a royal residence, both the Charles asslgal❑g the house to their respective wires, In later Years it seems to have been converted into a sort of Hampton Court, where favorltes wore given apartments. lint the Somerset House here spoken of Is not the came building ns elands today. The orlglnutt palace of the Protector was pulled down about the year 1773, add the present house )'rooted In Its place, The arcdtit0et n•os Sir Wlillam Charubers, One ate grand- ost features of the building Is the terrace to- wards the river, which Is a copy of that built by the brothers Adam In 1769 for the Adalp'h1. Few houses have entertained a greater number of famous people. here Walpole, Hallam, and Watt, alt spent many hour8; Wilkie, Plasmon and (Rutntrey knew 11 well; and hero Sir Joshua Reynolds delivered some of hie finest discourses lo the students of the Royal Aaadon y; and last, but not least., Nelson himself has many a time trod the cobbled court yard, for in bis day the Ad- miralty offices were at Somerset house. ®C. The latest success. 1/1a6 T46 he big black plug chewing tobacco. 2265 0' Vindicated. "Our readers will remember," wrote the editor of the Spiketown Blizzard, "(!rat when President P,00sevelt sent that message to Congress asking for four battleships 100 printed a doable leaded editorial in big type, proteeing in the name of the people against such it rc(•.kless expenditure of their money. 1Ve said, respectfully, hut 111001y, that it was time 0 call a halt, IVe Insisted that Congress should refuse to let him have four battleships and give him two in- stead. Some of our readers didn't like it, but we stood firm, Two big battle- ships, we said, was enough. Let him have two. And Congress done It, . We linve nothing more to say. The Blizzard 10 vindiented" I cured a horse of the Mange with MINARD'S LINIMENT. CIHRIS'TOPHER SAUNDERS. Dalhousie. I cured a horse, badly torn by a pitch fork, with MINAiD'S LINI- MENT. St. Peter's, C. B. EDW. LINLIEF. 1 cure a horse of a bad swelling with MINARD'S LINIMENT. Bathurst, N.B. THOS. W. PAYNE. A Star Part. City Yisito'--Almost every spot In ilia to1'11 seems to have had its share in making history. Now that old house over there—T dare say it played a part inthe revolution? Native --Oh, sLorely1 That—er—why, that house---cr--why—that's where Washington became the father of his country.—Puck. Keep Minard's Liniment in the house, 4,• Lighter Than Aluminum. Under the name of "rltagnalium," Dr, L. Mach bas produced alloys of alum - Muni and magneesittm which, while eon- ei(lerably lighter than pure aluminum, are harder than that metal and better suited, it is asserted, for working. With 111 per cent, of magnesium, the alloy is said to resemble brass in time readiness with which it snbmita 0 the operations of turning, boring end cutting. 13y in. creasing the magnesium 25 per cent, an alloy resembling bronze is produced, but the color is silvery white. ♦ • Ask for Minard's and take no other, No Exceptions, "Canvassers must go to thg rear door." "But I am not a canvasser, miss. I am sent here by the agent of the build- ing ,to take measurements for putting awnings over the windows on the sonny aide, aputtinnd—" "If g up window awnings isn't canvaaing Pd like to know what it is" (Slams front door in his face.) Prayer is the key of the day and Das lock of the night,—Hebrew. S[VAld'SMSEN WANTED 11000 "AtiTU- t." Spray," 13001 hand sprayer made. Coa1- preeeed air; automatic. Liberal terms. Cnt'- ere 000o, (tall Ont. HELP WANTED. VET ANTI01)—BTOVID MOUNTERS. 0011- Y1 Hey -Tilden (0❑., Limited, Hamilton, Ontario, Control of Milk Supply. Since milk is so extremely variable is quality, and Is so easily adulterated; einem often considerable variations aro not readily detected; above all, because the amount of milk used by any given person or madly is comparatively small, the consumer of milk Is almost wholly at the mercy of the pro- ducer and dealer, and must rely for a good product very largely upon their boob:, 'rhe state has recognized :bis, and to prevent imposition by unscrupulous people, has in various ways sought to regulate the sale of milk and sorb products. 'rhe chief means used has been to establish arbitrary stand- ards of quality, and to aullect to fine those dealers whose goods should be found to be below the required standard, The standards established by various states andmunicipal- ities have varied widely. From 2.6 10 111 Per cent. of fat, and forth 11.6 to 16 per cent. of total solids have been the minimum re- quirements, :These standards, while efficient in securing honest dealing' where -ahoy are rigidly enforced, nevertheless may work in- justice, n- ] the dealer le u ti lir as too of e 1 n ce, d, t set y concerned, under various circumstances, and' miry prevent the produotfon and sale of a comparatively low qualityproduct at a rea- sonable primo It wuld seem, therefore, that the bestt means of regulating the traffic to milk would be, not to set up an artificial standard to which all must come, but to require each Individual dealer to guarantee his own etandard, and bold him responsible if his milk were found below. In We way It would be possible to sell milk of various qualities, from strictly skimmed to heavy. cream, upon a grading soale of prices, with exact Justice to everyone.—Prot. H, H. wing, Cornet, University. INTERESTING TO FRUIT GROWERS We have for sale the Canadian patent for Smith's Fruit Gathering Apparatel, which has proven on test to be a valu- able acquisition to any fruit farm. With it two men can do the work of twenty, do it better and with less injury to the fruit. Can be used in gathering various kinds of fruits and nuts. Will pay for itself in one day in saving wages, Provincial rights for sale, which 01(0 be resold in counties at good profits. For particulars apply to J. 5, Rittenhouse, 70 Pearl et,, Toronto. First Englishman In Japan. Mr. Wilson Crewdson, chairman of th" council of the Japan Society, pointe out that the grave near Yoko- suka, in Japan, of Will Adams, fam- ous in history .a1 the first English- man to set foot in that country, in the reign of Queen Elisabeth, has fal- len into decay and needs consider. able repair. Will Adams was so high- ly h- ly respected that he was ennobledhy the founder of the last family of Sho- guns, and his memory Is still so highly revered in that country that a movement has been set on foot and. a considerable sum subscribed by the leading Japanese statesmen, Gen. erals, Admirals and others to restore the imposing but fast perishing tomb which marks the plane of his burial among the beautiful hills that over- look the great naval station of Yoko. suka.—Thom the London Evening standard. ♦-♦ ITCH Mango, Prairie Scndohee and every foam of contagious Mob on human or animal mired In 90 minutes by Wolford')' Sanitary Lotfop. It never falls. Sold by druggists, •.• Dimly Remembered Her. "How do you do, Dr. Fourthly," she said, extending her hand. "Your face is familiar, my dear young lady, but I can't quite—er—" "Why, I sing in your choir, you know:" "Oh—ah—yes, to be sure!" said the Re'. Dr, Fourthly, shaking her band warmly. "I knew I had seen you some- where 0' •-• Minard's Liniment used by Physicians. A Valued Possession. When Commander Peary made hie first trip in Reach of the pole, he gave a Prince Albert coat and a weather, beaten sombrero to an Eskimo. Yea's afterward, when again in the north, the explorer received a ceremonial visit from a native, and, to his surprise, says the Youth's Companion, set eyes ones more on the discarded vestments. On the occasion of the commander's latest dash for the pule his former native friends took him aside and showed ]rim a rude muusoleun. By it stood a disused siedge. Its six dogs had been strangled to make an appropriate funeral offering, and on tlue pies of stones lay what was left of the Prince Albert coat and the sombrore. iliow Look Here! Why do you use WOODEN Fails and Tubs, when those made of FIBREWARE are away ahead? They have no hoops—no seams. They will not leak, water -soak, or rust, and they LAST LONGER and COST LESS MONEY. BUT—you must ask for 1ddy9 Fikwue All Good Grocers sell it—and Eddy's Matches