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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Blyth Standard, 1908-02-06, Page 6Whereas, Eatc. "Yeti tate a short walk every morn - lug ,•,.t breakfast, d„ you sidnl the '..., sort 01 1 08.Ututt00,11, .t Kitt 01110 ?" MI." 118 wrreal aha professor. "As u Soft of pre-amhie." Signs of Municipal Greatno;s, -tion , em to have quite* ttarifty lit- tle rite hen," remarked tit;st 1(eveltn, who was taking k breath of fresh air inhale -pre engineer a a0 doctoring an overheated journal Oh, we're re gottin„ along," said- the (M;ivo an the station platform. ''\Ve'vo golf a lulnded fudebtedntnas and a roller Witting rink. HAVE IT CHARGED. 1Ir. Tall --When I get my new house I. mean that everything shall be like clockwork, Mr. Short—I see; the same as here- tofore—tick! tick! Assisting Him. \Veerhus {who is telling an intermin- able yarns—"Well, to mn18e a long story short--" Tired Listener --"Skip the feet of it.' Closing Reflections, '.{.Ute last dodo was about to 'die. "sly race becomes extinct;" it feebly gasped, "beauago the burden of my name with its meaningless repetition, is too great to bear!" Further imbittered try tit knowledge llbett the bulbul Ways going to live on, the poor old dodo breathed its last. Practical Illustrations. Teaeher—"Codi, you know, is merely 1“01jawnce of heat. 'To what simple nni,itenon do we owe the absence of eat' during; the winter months?" Cleve (in mtiSdtl—"i'he punter (1110 n't turn it on::" Modus Vivendi. The l rmieoone but impecmtlous young k (dutywho had 1(0417101 1.1.e 1ich and eta ori,� widow began to hint that it was trtRR to give !dun the control of her and the management of her es- , Belot," she said, "I shall allow a sufficient income for the supply. lr Wants, but .1 expoot to keep lay was_ aflaira in my own hands. 'This consolidation. This is a limited srship." Quick Action. \lies lfope—"Mr. itparkley, have you dleuer'felt that vague, isstlefinable pre- nron1j8ion we all feel now add thou, that a calr,Auity of some kind, or at least aotllethhag unpleasant, is iii store for you`whioh aright be averted by taking 11wl11pt measures, if you could make lip year mind just what to dos" ts Mr. Spalkley treadling for his int)-- ',aO dy tame before, 1 think, and 1, una- dt't prompt enough that time in making ,up my mind just tvhat to do. I lingered 'until the young lady yawatod and look• ed at the clock. Goal. night Miss Hope." Not at All Discouraged. "Canyou realize that 't you're merely wasting my time and your own?" corm plained the busy merchant. "Why go?" asked the insurance agent. "I hold you some time ago that 1 wtta 'stewed to the limit." "I ]plow you did, mut a elan will say most anything to get rid of an insur- ance man,"—Philadelphia Press. Ready to Give Testi imony. "Mr. Skaggs, could you be induced to give a testimonial that our poerlees health food is responsible for your great age?" "Sore," cheerfully piped the menogen- arian, I credit my 90 years to the op. portion; intervention of that food." 'Phe agent looked pleased. "You ace," continued the old man, "I Was SS before the stuff was invented, and had 00000 enough by that time not to touch it."—Philadelphia Ledger. A BRIGHT OUTLOOK, Smith—Come on home with 1)10. Jones;—l'81 afraid your wife wilt be', raving mad. Smith -That's just it, hut she can't beat the two of us. A Lady of Note. She was musical 011110, 80 ah0 tarok her a gown Of organdie, ehvtely planned, With accordion plaits running ti11 up told down And fluted to' 'beat 1110 band. 'She looked truly sivdl and would 1:0- quently harp On being thigh -toned and, all that, 17;r, .1 course to B natural Lad Io B 0,,arp ;tough to libido in A flat. a $tud ies. s be sh'tudy!u' in (imposition, ULTIMATE, FATE OF FISIt, They Never Die a Natural Death, Says an Observant Fisherman. "Fish never die a enteral death said an old fishermen who has observed es he fished. "If they did bodies of dead fish would be floating on the surface of the water about all the while, because such bodies if unmolested would have to float. "I mean, of course, fish in nature never die a natural death, not fish in captivity. And perhaps it should not be called nat- ural death that fish in captivity the. Their environment induces mortality that fish in their native habitat; would escape, and these causes might 10 pro- perly classed as among the accidents that carry the captive fish off. "If fish in their native element were never molested 1 believe they would never die . If they had sufficient food, which would be impossible if they 110 longer preyed on one another, they would be no reason for their dying. It wad to prevent such uninterrupted ten- ure of life that all fish were made fierce- ly predatory, if not remorselessly canni- balistic, as many kinds are, "A fish's life is a conetently strenuous one, and one entirely selfish. A fish lives only to eat and to avoid being eaten." For Churches and Schools Just ens Ceiba it ideal sot churches and adsoots, for in beauty, eleanlinee, eeoeomr--for int ranIIuy perfection (no seams to catch dirt)—fm its lre•p,00f qualities `PEDLAK ART STEEL CEILINGS Above 2,000 modern densis in every style el good art---side-wells to match in harmony with interior acheea—adapt 10 any coloo-xheme et archimetuol motive. Allow us to rend you illustrated details Lad quote prices. Addreu coo The PEDLAR People Golf Mesa Isonaraal Ottawa Toronto Landon irloatper The Parish Minister and His Beadle, "John," said a homely old parish min - biter to his beadle as he was being as. (listed into the gown by that indispensa- ble functionary in the vestry one Sab- bath morning before entering the pul- pit, "I don't know how I'm to get through with the service this morning. I have come away from the manse and forgot my snuff-box." "Guidsake, sir, filet's a peaty," said John, with a deep sympathy in his voice; "loth, bide a minute till I tee gin I canna get as muckie's pit ye owro tilt the afternoon," and John disappeared, returning a few minutes with a curious compound in a piece of brown paper, which he carried in his hand, "Where did you get thief" said the minister, eyeing the paper sus- piciously, yet snuffing up a large pinch with n sigh of intense satisfaction. "Oo, I jekt got it," said John, evading the question. "But who gave you it? Where did you get it, John?" "Wed, eh," re- turned the bendle, sturdily, "I jilt eerap- ft off the flair o' the pulpit," and he marched into the church with the Bi- ble, thus matting short any rebuke that might hove been administered, and com- pelling the minister to follow at his heels, as the custom was. Minard's Liniment Co„ Limited; Sirs,—I have used your ,\MINABD'S LINIMENT. for the past 20 years and whilst I hero occasionally used other liniments I can safely say that I have never used any equal to yours. If rubbed between the lands and inhaled frequently, it will? never fail to cure cold in the head in twenty-four boors. It is also the Best for bruises, sprains, etc. Yours truly, Dartmouth.' J. G. LESLIE. French, Eng / bra and gcometry.er Pat, sen. (shaking b` Divil a help'il wan ay thin ye grove up t' he earr)10' roar;✓ Bohemian. Wanted It. "So your divorce was granted, remarked little. "Tr 11 me, holy do you find .angle life?" ), eat," exclaimed Large. "Yondent undustnnd me," interrtlpt- Little, "I'm asking- far nforntati,n yy do you Bud it!"—lebruury EohO- an. Odd Fox Hunting Experiences. During a recent run of the Essex and Suffolk foxhounds the good people of Witten - hoe had Invadednovel houndse and huntserience of lmentheir and of looking on at the death of reynard n1 one of their streets. It Is not long since the New Cut Ives the scene of an even more startling incident, when a full grana fox suddenly appeared trotting along the middle of the street when markan every easter deserted his was at Its u barrow and with every cries of "Tally -loo!" holies the chase. Sun - Me towards Blackfrtara road the fox soon doubled, and darting under a fruiterer's bar- row sought refuge In a wheelwright's yard, where he was found firmly wedged 1n the spokes of n cartwheel and carried off la triumph by a second band furniture dottier. A fox was recently chased by the Bolvolr hounds Into Aslaekby village and went to ground In the churchyard; another sought refuge on the housetops in Hullavington village and was dislodged by means of a ladder, while still another was killed to the dining room of Gayhurst house, the resi- dence of W. W. Carlile, formerly 11) P'. for North Ducks.—Westmlunter Gazette, llinard's Liniment Cures Colds, etc. No Gossip in This Kansas Town. "The little town of Simian -1, in my State;" said David G. Banks, of 'I ()peke, "has entered on an experiment thaLstu- dents of sociology all over the land will do well to watch. ` "The City Council of Merriam ' has passed an ordinance malting it n finable offence for any person of adult years to ret4ulif gossip or tittle-tattle that could belloustrued es reflecting injuriously on any inhabitants of (ho•yillage. `As far as 1 have beantAble to Ieern" nobody has been arrested ,at yet for talking Omit his neighbor. T1ut,it is said that already the denizens of +iflprriam are cultivating a conservatism a`'ii their speech hitherto unknown."—Baltimore American, Like to'Tiy Psychine "Please gond apo a battle of Pey- chine, I have a child afflicted with iubereuloais, and have been advised to try your medicine by our family doctor, as he says he cannot do anything more for illy child. "MBS. H. STEPIHENS, Arthur. Ont., July 14, 1907 " Pllvsiefnc circa when doetere fell. Many are sorry they did not try Pty - chine first, Throat, lung and stomach troubles yield to its curative power. At all druggists, 50e, and $1.00, 'or Dr. T. A. Slocum, Limited, Toronto, How the Trick Was Turned. For several yetero it was the custom of Cornell Widow Boards to me downtown every Sunday morning and breakfast together. The widow's breakfast table attained an enviable position among college affairs. Grad- ually, however, the breakfasts became dinners in all except name. The uni- versity witueesod the strange sight of a body of care -free students "break - fruiting" at eight o'clock of an even- ing But the gentlemen of the uni- versity have always rooked with un - censuring eyes upon the little vag- aries and peculiarities of the widow- ers. At the old breakfasts, after the members of the Board had consumed large quantities of meat, and hao washed everything down with ninny a flagon of the finest nlalnionsie, they would set themselves to the pro- duction of a widow. Light conversation upon the exist= ing good or' evil of the day would bounce from lip to lip, and back to lip again. And many a goodly jest would unthinkingly slip out during the course of the conversation. The light conversation and the goodly jest would be duly noted by the editor - fn -chief, who would distribute them, then and there, to different members of the Board, with orders to tern in their write-up before the end of the breakfaet. Tho artists seldom, wait- ed for subjects to bo assigned to them, but would illustrate jokes which had caught their fancy with a knife, fork, or pencil, upon the table cloth. The table cloth would be saved until the following day, when copies would be made of their sketches. In this way many of the early issues of the paper were produced. As it grew, however, these methods sank into oblivion before the march of system. It is to be feared, that our present, issues have lost much of the dash and brilliancy of the early issues, ow• ing to the fact that the size of the paper has been more then doubled, while the size of the Board rernaino the same,—From "Humorous College Journalism" in The Bohemian for February. BiacK Watch Chewing Tobacco The big black plug. 2200 Booth and Rosebery. Speaking at Birmingham on the 6th inst., in connection with the opening of a new Salvation Army home for work- ing men, General Rooth said a short time ago he had an interview with Lard Rosebery, who received him rather stiffly. He observed that a large num- ber of leading men were a little stiff when he (the General) first entered their rooms—he supposed they were afraid he was going to pray for them. (Laughter.) His lordship beeline ex- ceedingly friendly, and asked him many questions as to the character of the people the Salvation Army emigrated. Ile (the General) said that he could not guarantee that every man they sent had never had a glass too much or had never told a fib or was born with a lik- ing for work. He added, "You would have to go to the House of Lords for that cines of men. (Laughter,) IIie lordship nearly jumped off his seat and said, "They are all archangels there," Don't be afraid to take a chance for fear it may belong to tonne one else. "TIIIS IS IT— St. George's Baking Powder —the baking powder that makes the best Bread—the whitest Biscuits —the lightest Cake and Pastry— you ever saw." ':Order a can NOW—so you will be care to have ST. GSORGE'S for your next baking." - - Write for free copy of aur erre Cook -Bon.. National Drug &. Chemical Co; of Canada Limited, Montreal an Clung to ,Her Hair. Hoar far this beauty business will lead to there's no divining. One women at least has ben latent upon carrying it to the bitter end. Now this particular fair one in the wearer of a very becoming and costly "traasforma- tion." She was taken seriously ill, and imagined—erroneously as it turned out —that she was going to die. Lying in bed, she earnestly requested a feminine sharer of her secret to promise that she womdl tie buried with the glory of her Titian -red coiffure undiaturbed, finding it possible to ince the prospect of death with philosophy, but not the prospect of ugliness. Tho secret of growing old gracefully" is evidently well kept, for few pehple :went to acquire it, though we all need it. PILES 8 Years Torture Ended by Zam-Buk Mr, George Lee, 35 Steiner St., Toronto, says: 'Fort years I suffered torture from blind, itching piles. During that time 1 belleve almost everything in the line of oint- ments and salves was used, but la vain. The very first apyiicat100 of Zam-Bak gave me relief from then tenihle itching, and a little persever- ance with the balm brought about a com- plete cure. 1 hove not been troubled again and it is now 01,01" SIX months since Zan'Bulc was used. If this statement can be used for the benefito(other sufferers (son Oda trouble, you are at liberty to publish it" Zam-Buk is especially recmnnlended for all kinds o(skm diseases, emeriti, bed legs, piles, ulcers, boil, chapped hands, barbers' rash, festering sores, pois- eeed wounds, cuts, bruises, burns, sprains etc. Of all druggists and stokes, 5oc. box or front the Zam-Bak Co., Toronto, post. paid. 3 boxes $1.25. FREE Asample Ivor will gs nailed you Irce if you cut , n1 tk;e teepee ed send It with IC. stem, to the Zea . nee 6., Tweet.. e.0.4 ZAM=BUK Not Up to Date. 'l'11e evidence had alsown that the brick which a careless vvorknnlm had dropped from n scaffolding twenty feet above the surfer° of the ground had fallen on a man's shoulder and broken a bone, but the jury decided that the victim had no cause of the accident—the falling of the brick had no necessary connection with the accident. "Gentlemen," said the judge, "I never heard of such a venlict. 'You utterly ignore the existence of the law of gravi- tation." "That law, you honor," answered the foreman of the jury, "Is so old that we derided not to consider it. It's obsolete," —Chicago Tribune, ITCH 10001., Prolyl. Scratches and weary term el eontsatou* Itch ou human or ant wile oared In 01 minutes by Wolford'* Sanitary Lotto*. It *peer tails. Sold by druegtots. The Surprise Party. A good amusement for a young folks' party is the "package game," Saye the Washington Star. After the children are assembled each one is given a large neatly wrapped package. Of course it is address. ed to him or her to whom it is handed. Tho receiver opens it eagerly, only to find that inside is another wrapping ad- dressed to another member of the party. This causes much fun in the exchange, and in the surprise. Aa many wrap- pings may be inside as the hostess cares to have, but in the last is a little gift appropriate to the real recipient, Each wrapper bears a new name. Minard's Liniment Cures Diphtheria. Charmed With Venice, A young lady who had returned from a tour through Italy with her father re- marked that her father had liked all the Italian cities, but especially did he like Venice, "Ah, Venice, to be sure," said the friend to whom she was relating some of the adventures of their trip. "I can readily understand that your father would prefer Venice, with its gondolas and St. Mark's and Michael Angelos—" "O11, no," said the young lady; "it wasn't that. But ho could sit in the hotel, you know, and fish out of the window." SHILOH'S Quick ease for the warat cough—quick relief to tie heaviest cold --and SAYE to take, arca for a child. Cures u Shilok's Cure. Sold under a guarantee CoUh{11S to cure colds and coughs ja, Colds quicker than any other medicine—or your money back. 34 years of success commend Shiloh's Core. 21e., b0c., $1. su QUICKLY! WINDMILL SIGNALLING. Valt.able for Military Purposes, the Dutch Government Has Discovered, To the casual observer viewing a Dutch landscape there is nothing to ax. rest the attention in the fact that; pea- sibly one or more out of a dosen wind- mills in sight are to all appearances sim- ply standing idle, while the others con- tinue their never ending task. If one watches the sails of the idle mills closely it may perhaps be noticed that they move slightly from time to time and then remain Pox a while at a different angle. If this is so the miller is in all probability engaged in holding a conversation with the proprietor of the other mill, wltidlI may be miles away, in fact, possibly barely visible on the hor- izon. Quite recently the Dutch Government eorriod on a aeries of experiments in or- der to ascertain t110 value of windmill signalling for military purposes, and were surprised to find that communica- tion could readily be establiehed with far distant centres and that confidential messages could be sent on from one mill to another atid so forwarded throughout the length and breadth of Holland in an incredibly short time by means of secret codes known only to the millers them selves. These codes have been handed down from generation to generation and jeal- ously guarded from outsiders with all. the intense conservatism for which the provincial Dutch aro( proverbial. Apart, however, from these secret codes, under- stood only by the millers and local groups of mill owners, there exists s eerles of windmill signals with which every one of the inhabitants of the coon. try districts is familiar. At times, for instance,, a mill may stop working suddenly and the miller be seen to come out and with the aid of a long pole with an iron hook at the end, like a gigantic boathook, roach up and drag down the descending sail until the arms amine a pertain position. Every one known immediately that some accident has happened to the wooden machinery of the mill, and that the services of the local carpenter are required.—From the Windsor Magazine. A Waiting Part. One of my friends has a playhouse in her back yard, where all the children of the neighborhood delight to gather. One day she went out to see what a crowd of them were doing and founr they were playing at "keeping house" very happily, with one exception, her own five-year-old son, who was Bitting afar off, rather lonesomely, holding a large rag doll, What's, tato matter, Sydney?" she inquired. "Won't the others play with you 7" Oh, I'm playing," hg, replied. "I'm the stork, hut they ain't quite ready for the baby yet!"—Woman's Home Com- panion. Red, Itching, Skin --chapped kande—blotches on the face —scalp irritation—all are cured by • Sanaa MMR REGISTERED. SKIN SOAP It heals es it cleans. A medicinal and toilet soap combined, Soothing and antiseptic. Rlegantly perfumed. In- valuable for babies, to keep the delicate akin clear and smooth. pprri1scce a cake—at drogp!eta or sent on receipt et EFaarltt The �erafet*' Co, of Caaada, 4theit•eel 24 Without Prejudice. The manager of a shipyard is reported to have assembled his amen in the time office and told them to vote in a muni- cipal election as they pleased. "In fact, I shan't tell you how I am going to vote," lie said, "but after it is all over I shall have a barrel of beer brought into the yard ("Hear, hear," shouted the men.) But I shan't tap it unless Mr. Blank gets in."—Tho Argo- naut. . e -o Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper. Schoolgirl's Remarkable . Record. The school managers of the New Shoreham Council schools have had brought to their ,notiee the fact that a scholar in the girls' department has neither been absent nor late on a single occasion in eight years. The managers considered this a most remarkable re- cord, and it was resolved to ask the Ed- ucation Committee to grant the scholar a special award.—London-Standard. ISSUE NO. 6, 11006. KLIBIA6✓) A "LILQltin And in This Instance Mr. Mao Wan t0 blame Ile did all the courting before mar- riage. Ile never talked over his affairs with his wife. He thought of his wife only ss • leap housekeeper. Ile never dreamed that s wife deserved praise or compliments. IIe thought hie wife had a very easy time, He married an ideal, and woo disap- pointed to find it bad a flaw. IIe paid no attention to hie personal appearance after marriage, says Hams Chat, He treated his wife as he would not have dared to trent another woman. SHAVE WITHOUT A RAZOR solve your shaving problem with RAZORLESS SIIAYING POWDER— an antloep(le shaving preparation, GUARANTISED A (380110111)11 T HARMLESS, it k applied to the race in LATHER form, removable with a piece of edged wood, paper card, or any almilar ar- ttele. The result (s a smooth and comfortable shave, the beard being removed perfectly. Itesorlese 8hay. !ng Powder Is a flesh food, keep* the rkin in a healthy condition, and does not Interfere with the growth of hair. ft does not lrr(tats; heal, pfmptea, ,ore faces and eaves Ila user both time and money. Slav containing a autfietent quantity for twelve shaves sent postpaid to any address en re- ceipt of twenty -flue cents, Mention this paper when writing. AGENTS WANTED EVERYWHERE; write for terms. We guarantee this prepar• atlon to REMOVE ANY DEAR), 11 used according to d(rect(ona. Razor - lean Shaving Powder Is GUARAN- TEED UN0010 TITS U. 3, FOOD AND DRUGS ACT, luno 80th, 1007. aortal No, MM. The original and genuine manufactured only by SEELIG 8t MEYER Laboratories, BRIDGEBURG ONT. �' THE MiCROBE BUG. This is the dreadful microbe bug That doctors and nurses fear, Don't let him come near you or give you a hug, Don't let him fly in your ear, He'll give you the chickenpox, meas les or mumps, He can put you to bed in a day, There's sickness and trouble when- ever he jumps. So don't try to catch him I prays e -e. Minard's Liniment Cures Oarget in Cows. To be Married Under Water. The directors of the London Hippo- drome have offered £100 to any enter- prising bride and bridegrogm .who will undergo the ordeal of being married'`lan- der water in the Hippodrome arena. New machinery has been installed 'In the arena lake, which makes it possible for persons to keep beaeoth the water for hours at a time, ,and much conceal has been caused in the present prod'o- tion by five young ladies who disappear beneath the water and "fail to come up again." In addition to the £100 otter the directors and the principals of the theatre will give wedding presents re- presenting a' total value little short of £5000. Already telegrams of applica- tion are pouring in from anxious cou- ples from all over the country. 4. - ENGLISH SPAVIN LINIMENT R,nlove$ all hard, soft and calloused lumps and blemishes from horses, blood spavin, curbs, splints, ringbone, sweeney, stifles, sprains, sore and ewallen throat, coughs, etc. Save $50 by use of one bottle. Warranted the most wonderful Blemish Cure ever known. Sold by drat gists. Just as Good as Ever, Too. An old physician was noted for Ws brusque manner and old-fashioned meth- ods. A lady called him into treat her baby, who was slightly, ailing. The doc- tor prescribed castor oil. "But, doctor," protested the young woman, "castor oil is such an old-fash- ioned remedy" "Madam,"? replied the doctor, "babies are old-fashioned things.'—London Opin- ion, o-. Even the winter girl can't nay 5!te doesn't care a wrap for cold weather., HIP r1 NTS 59t0C1TE,o site FOR Rjelcr et ST ,'.; letinviNal ,d tie e. seae.;14