HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1897-09-22, Page 2t
IT'S THEIR WAY. A HAPPY MAN, WITH YOUR COFFEE.
A Alau Is Never $aft, while l+tlr:lup "Why are you glad?" I asked a man The Ysraffrapherr' Budget for opening
N Ii It '1'wu tt uulxu. "you look as If you'd won In love, '
Who hud it deasuut sallle' at 1 reakfa+t
They Were coming in over one of tit. Or else had 'alude u pile,'"
It is nut love," tilt, also Ce flied
suburt,uA ell cu is lines, says The llumi: d
tun 5 x•t•tawr, when sit,• turue,n s.isl What makes sk Poet so fair;,
l I saw the raced, yeau•rday, ♦ ' tt �y, . � /% i
deuly toward him wn,u ilusaiuA r.,. Aad saw u lackey there." �i•
"Jim 1� iuudty, whet•,' d.d you ;tet ih it "Aha! You hud u • tip,' 1 ween,
ctek tie f•, fume, tell ale, Is It suY '
What was the stulte'r Ilow Was It lilt t fjo
"Bought it." You laid the 'talent' IowY" *<�r aye" Y . F`•
"Not you didn't 'buugilt it.' I cati tell ••1 had it 'tip,' 'tin true," he said,
a store necktie as far us 1 can sec it. Andthen he laughed outright, itW
`('hat', hand stitched, and that ( ulwl oil "(tut the reaswi why I sial su glad ;, ( rite •. 3
Ili that I didn't Lite!"
cue end Unit them furget•me-u, is -Ill 'III-
usher tend are work(vl in with silk. N:er
things to be putting LOU a w+uo maw's, 'elixir slLal•t no(,..
Ilccktie, and you never gut it we. :unI Neither of these two) citizens weig.as
cuufilrr, either," less than 180 anal both aro suserpUblu
"Didn't say I bought `t over it c u ter. to hest, lu ileglige shirts, light cults J
One of them fakirs s, til it to sue at in,, tidal punts, low sLIOVS. hilts Lund lnuuu:ut y I f
Vb- -" Vele J,m wurl,(vl up an :,rt hc� l hats, they were taki'tig the brcrzc fi•"oi
a
cough au�l looked out across 1i tv., . , i., the dtv•k or :1 ferry bout. %tr
ew•nlield. "'1'hnt youngest holy of urine is it e(>rker
"All, .Jim Flulliley! \font to file fir from Curktuwn," declared out, of them f 1—,
c•us, slid you? Awl you told ni • h sir n:ad with It fine glow of paternal pride. The
you was btcuuw• sun hall to work aunttither day the ash man drove situ the ill- -
t -faldn't take like. and file boiew:u' fou by w'heu lleury spied hon and--
all the tune Now, sir, who went with I 'IIs! Ila! iia't
! hat makes me'chime
y"'n to that�eihuw?" 1 ill' Tummy. There's a youngster for you.
'lilt wluirnied,�looke:l snealcir.g ail,l They say he's a regular chip off thio old Lizzy---I'leasc, sir, NN -111 you OLK•11 the
tried to explain; I'll .it st tell i oil how A block, The cook wits on a step ladder bate fur file?was• Nell. Me and Jennie 'Tiiss!vr fart yesterday to clean the upper 0110ves ill Short-sighted Old (lent 11'hy, my lit.
It •philopeuu unit 'like eilught men fill asked the buttery when 'Tummy—" tle girl, you earl open it fon !
etre t" take her to the vneus. Il(1w• c„nIJ "ilo! Ifo! Ila! Well, IIeary rail into I Lizzy—Oh, 'pli-aw. sir, do�e;utitit.
it feller get out of it?" the house, got .his pea shouter with �
"Nell, she has cheek, i must sly. w•hie'h lie has knocked many a sparrow
Why, .Lisa', .tell sow." 111141 tho ( kir s u,,. out of a tree, creeps along the fence till
I -d to take oil it buxom girl w+ho groes- he ernes to it board with a knot hole in %' • ,, r ((1
ed the other two cheerily. "II,Ilo, .nim," it-"
he c,04 as soon as in hill' %eat. "1 ,ile "(Iood! Capital! As I was saying, 41%
you
L
�
you're weain' 'Tummy gut sonic soft soup in 41 cup,
.Tim 'trityl to look ancon cion, kind the little rascal, and began daubing it
cover the necktie, but Nvll w:,s Mort lilt(] oil the steps uP the ladder—' 1
,aid: "lir to!el tiro he bou !,t i " "That's great! One or the best I ever
"I like that now." det,lnrc,l Jwtnif, heard, Henry spread his legs, braced 1
sharply, "\\'o it ti, 11 philoix• +n. hr himself, let 'et• if,, slid ttutt 1181 tuau t y
call,ht ale• T nia•!e him -lit, tie , till then let out—"
he et,axed m, to go to 1I1' circus.- "Don't. I'll die laughing. The girl c-im•
XIII rel And perspiring. saw that h'• inerlced to come down and of coutsc '
wns be!ug surrounded by than ttn,•ry •'Certainly. The ash main—"
wonu'lt and hastily brat :I letrtn• to the "Her feet flew into the• air—"
back sent. Atter the few vig,rous puff, "I gtwe%s you dant cure to ]tear ,flout
ileeessary to light Lia pip(, he pnlle,l his a boy that's really smort." ��•' l
lust over his eves• humped up deslwi,l. I't's very evideitt that you dos t. I j
entlo• in tilt, corner anal was heard t„ was giving yon one the best stories—" '}
mutter unconsciously: "burn a W017111111.' !hat's the way they all talk. Ir there's
anyhow", one thing that bores me more than an- S 'f
other it is tf, hear 1t Inful etenially blow -
Ing about Lia \ children," there are others.
You—' •
B 't II
Mlall. �•
0
rnry s •pagiu had gone, kicking Short-sighttcl 0141 Gent—Very well.
1A li (hairs over as he went. There! Now tell ale Wily you couldln't THUNDER.
111mis Fentalt•—Iso they have mwtin.a
in this church?
Old Man—Yvs: mitts; but they 'as
o10oth kip t' the pulpit. ---The Sket.h.
tt's,v, of ty"ni-1 1 -'air
••'Thr apimi 1 oft proclaims the mail."
stie (111Oted.
The lack or it the wumlw," he atl•lod;
and as she 'happened to he in a b,111'
gown at the time she naturally eou-
sidercd the remark personal.—( InSc,tgu
Post,
Nfri1. Primpas--l;efore we were nikir-
i•ied, Juh•l, yon s Ill yon would kint`eyutte
my every with, :nil now you won't buy
'me a DPW tcLw•1.
Prinlp:is--Will, I did a lltieipate ,rape
wish, but I did not promise to satisfy
it.—I'!ttshiu•g News.
D.uN, ,v—C
hr hAs such n pri•tty font, T
(lon't knmv w1wrf yon w•ouhl find any•
thin;; smeller, do yall?
Franefs--Yes. the -shot, she wears, -
Boston Traveler.
"'I hitt 'W.ss I,Issex is a very clever*
girl."
"What Inakea you think s•,•'"
"S cin sharpen n ilonvil without
line a:ir hit• thtunb."—Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
to+, •• kir elle fill!. r,
A certa'n l,ngl•sh Duke. will• driving
from 'lie stWon to ill ' pa k on Ili- a t:lir
i(- inspect a rnnlpnnv of art llory, oh.
roervcil n ra:;,ed archin k(rpiu.g p-wo
tt iat, h!s varrina:' at the side.
ITis (tenet,, beine strtick with th,
eleanlinr%s
of, itu• 1,741, kisl;40 him W,
hr w•as going, the hot n-ph,'ng:
"I'll the (lark. 10 sty• the dook and
Till. huko, feelin, inlerretr•1, stoppo.l
Hs earrtage trail oprnod the door to tit
,•
lad• snying ho could ride with him to
the park.
The delighte-1 tail, brill, in ignor"ne •
•+s to w•hont hr w w; .ridinc with. kept
His (baro• interested with his tlunint r -
mnrk- till the marls gate, Wert, renehed.
Ait the earrinve en?emd it wns sabit-
(d by the emnilnnv and giins, Who roupon
His (;raee gahl to the lad:
"\ow•. clin ycnl show me wh(•re th.,
T)111ce NT,
The Incl eyed hie person over, and
tlrn. larking At till, Duke. n -plied r;tr.t(•
see r-1"11 V1y:
"Well. T dunno• mester; but it's either
me or yon."
A Nervy ISxeu.e,
"I would give ,rail something if you
were not intoxiented."
"Yes, hoses, but yer see I Lind ter get
drunk ter get up nerve enough ter asi:
fer the price of a bed."
While Mont.
A good (story is told of an incident
that took place if short time ago on board
an T,nglisli ship, Tho, piper hnd blown
to "Clear ups decks for divisions," (it by
ing Sunday). When the upper-doek
sweeper was about to sweep the deck
he observed a lot of soot coming front
the cook's funnel. The swci•per cull(,?
the cook's mate up, and pointer( out t 1
him the state the deck wast in.
"But." said the eoo)I, "I cannot bei)
The soot coming up."
"Yes, you (,an," said the'l,vee;:ert ' II'i
the iisoal rontim, to whitewash rho
cants on 9unriny."
The Bonk. being a verygram Ire•
ginner• went and whitrwashod evof:y
lump of cont he had in the coal box t.o
get White soot.
:trade A Good substitute.
It was a but night, told Dir• �IeStvat
m
News Notes.
The building of a railway froth Jun-
I
New Waggon, Carriage and Repair Shop
p
call to Lake Teslin is now ae(sured,
which will lesson the ruitte to the i
1 have opened out on Itattenhury street, next door, to Tedford's black
stlliLli shop, to till
Klondyke very considerably.
and ant prepared orders for Waggons, C lwriales and all uthei
g
Ilon. William Harty has authorized
v"hicled. Repairing and repainting promptly attended tu. Satisfaction gual
The Kingst.oue Whig to deny the re-'
anteed and prices the lowest consistent with good woutk. Call and see file be
ports of his uupt•udittg vetireule uL. lie
fuse you order. CHARLES WALKER.
Is rapidly gulose strength, and will
nary materials for gpttiug his own
breakfast,
S0011resunu" charge of his Dcpa11111vuL
appear to be much interested in the
of Public Works
A I1I
VOF—
S P k WI A L BA F CA 1 N S.
wary pretty Lot (}slat
`oA-
din; was eek-btated At the Ilnp-iTEASi
TEAS, TEASCeylon, Assam and Japans, 8lts,
ooItist
g
Parsonage, Nviurhiuu, \wNeedll.-
nesday afterouu, when Mi.. David
young Ilynon fur $1 ur ldc per lb.
flock It of 1'utu10 rind .11 it"
lVlAry
Sugars, Sugars Sugars.
1,;Il
Ann ['tell, of Lnul;side, w•err
united ill thehuly i,oudsuf uultrinu,uy,
>
Just to hand one car of Montreal Sugars. No. 1 (.lranulated, Coffee and haw's
The uowly-n"lrried coltple will enjoy
in bills., ons hundred pound and dollar lots. SPECIAL PRICES.
tVitIll.hele h(>ttey lttin,n :tlttoug lricn(ls h1 the .
WE KEEP Tai BEST ASSORTED STOCK OF WEDDINC PRESENT'S INTNE
"Hohert M.," the imt-ing horse uw•ni'd
COUNTY, Diuuer, Tea, and Bedroom Sets, Fancy China and Lamps.
by Nit. J. \V. Smith, ()t• Goderi(•h,
which has been oudrr the Care of J.
25 per cent. less than regular prices. Cell and sce our Goods and get
Gulley, V. S., Wingliau,, fol suttlf
tittle, wits shipped to ucdrric11 (,,1
prices.
J�ED�.--Timothy, Ited and Alsilce, Clover, Turnip and Mangold, All
Wednesdily, having fully recovervil
fresh and new seed•
frttttl its rile"'"5'
L'he French colony of Bloutrc�tl dr-
Cash Paid for Good Butter and Eggs.— -- -
Oded to pm -sent Sir \Vilfrid Luurior
tin address till Friday, congl'uln-
'p' ���` 'p �y� Clinton.with
QJ . Wit I,JC1i Vi/ IN V
latin}~ hint uptrll havllig received the
'I don't know. I don't sce what good
(strand Uross of the Legion cif llonour
Light -minded Young Thing iu a Bath -it's
front President Fillire.
-- — — -- - --
The revolt (,f theprisoners in the
St. vineent d(• Pittil 1peoitelitul.l'y
CLINTON SASH, DOOR, and BLIND FACTORY
assuilling seriolis plop.,tl'ioll`:. Owing
,
to it,'llinoul. Wednesday t}lilt the con-
---0
vic•ts w•nula tunke An nitewpt, to et_
me to have it done for anybody else,"
cape oil their way to work,they
were all confined to their cells..
COOPER,. Proprietor.
Mr. W. A. Hastings of the Linke of
"I say it," he retorted. "I saw it my-
tete Woods Milling ('tltn}puny denies
General Builder and Contractor.
the state,nent that, a conibinati if has
.
been funned to heat the Northwest
This factory has been. under the personal supervision and ownership for
Farine,luy(�hlltheirfr en tinsales,
fou Ice
coniption
eight years. We carry an extensive and reliable stock and prepare plans and
with it combine.
give estimates for and build all classes of buildings on short notice and on the
.1o11n Brittain, telegraph nperlttot• at
closest prices. All work is supervised in a mechanical way and satisfaction
the T. H. &s 13. 4at;on, Brantfovd,
guaranteed, We sell all kinds of interior and exterior material.
to the
has keen arrested, lied file office
robbery of �:,l;l 1'rnul the otiice safe a
Lumber, Lath, Shingles, Lime Sasb � Doors Blinds Etc.
� > > b , , ,
few weeks ttg(iu SaLtuedtly sight, uAridg passed line of the
Stolen bills u
A ent for tee CEI,E13RATED GROOL AYBILL SCIIDESK, manufactured
the officers traced it back to hin,.
in Waterloo. Call and get prices and estimates before placing your orders.
rnry s •pagiu had gone, kicking Short-sighttcl 0141 Gent—Very well.
1A li (hairs over as he went. There! Now tell ale Wily you couldln't THUNDER.
111mis Fentalt•—Iso they have mwtin.a
in this church?
Old Man—Yvs: mitts; but they 'as
o10oth kip t' the pulpit. ---The Sket.h.
tt's,v, of ty"ni-1 1 -'air
••'Thr apimi 1 oft proclaims the mail."
stie (111Oted.
The lack or it the wumlw," he atl•lod;
and as she 'happened to he in a b,111'
gown at the time she naturally eou-
sidercd the remark personal.—( InSc,tgu
Post,
Nfri1. Primpas--l;efore we were nikir-
i•ied, Juh•l, yon s Ill yon would kint`eyutte
my every with, :nil now you won't buy
'me a DPW tcLw•1.
Prinlp:is--Will, I did a lltieipate ,rape
wish, but I did not promise to satisfy
it.—I'!ttshiu•g News.
D.uN, ,v—C
hr hAs such n pri•tty font, T
(lon't knmv w1wrf yon w•ouhl find any•
thin;; smeller, do yall?
Franefs--Yes. the -shot, she wears, -
Boston Traveler.
"'I hitt 'W.ss I,Issex is a very clever*
girl."
"What Inakea you think s•,•'"
"S cin sharpen n ilonvil without
line a:ir hit• thtunb."—Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
to+, •• kir elle fill!. r,
A certa'n l,ngl•sh Duke. will• driving
from 'lie stWon to ill ' pa k on Ili- a t:lir
i(- inspect a rnnlpnnv of art llory, oh.
roervcil n ra:;,ed archin k(rpiu.g p-wo
tt iat, h!s varrina:' at the side.
ITis (tenet,, beine strtick with th,
eleanlinr%s
of, itu• 1,741, kisl;40 him W,
hr w•as going, the hot n-ph,'ng:
"I'll the (lark. 10 sty• the dook and
Till. huko, feelin, inlerretr•1, stoppo.l
Hs earrtage trail oprnod the door to tit
,•
lad• snying ho could ride with him to
the park.
The delighte-1 tail, brill, in ignor"ne •
•+s to w•hont hr w w; .ridinc with. kept
His (baro• interested with his tlunint r -
mnrk- till the marls gate, Wert, renehed.
Ait the earrinve en?emd it wns sabit-
(d by the emnilnnv and giins, Who roupon
His (;raee gahl to the lad:
"\ow•. clin ycnl show me wh(•re th.,
T)111ce NT,
The Incl eyed hie person over, and
tlrn. larking At till, Duke. n -plied r;tr.t(•
see r-1"11 V1y:
"Well. T dunno• mester; but it's either
me or yon."
A Nervy ISxeu.e,
"I would give ,rail something if you
were not intoxiented."
"Yes, hoses, but yer see I Lind ter get
drunk ter get up nerve enough ter asi:
fer the price of a bed."
While Mont.
A good (story is told of an incident
that took place if short time ago on board
an T,nglisli ship, Tho, piper hnd blown
to "Clear ups decks for divisions," (it by
ing Sunday). When the upper-doek
sweeper was about to sweep the deck
he observed a lot of soot coming front
the cook's funnel. The swci•per cull(,?
the cook's mate up, and pointer( out t 1
him the state the deck wast in.
"But." said the eoo)I, "I cannot bei)
The soot coming up."
"Yes, you (,an," said the'l,vee;:ert ' II'i
the iisoal rontim, to whitewash rho
cants on 9unriny."
The Bonk. being a verygram Ire•
ginner• went and whitrwashod evof:y
lump of cont he had in the coal box t.o
get White soot.
:trade A Good substitute.
It was a but night, told Dir• �IeStvat
Opetl it for yourself. r .
Lizzy—Please, sir, 'casue the pllirit's
---
TheXxpletive Which Greeted Ono Wo.
had been unable to sleep,
I
W( to
maws Idea of Insurance.
f e cane downstairs before :ntybutlY
Tommie tin a languid whine}—hla•
"Joseph," said Mrs, Broadway, `' I
else 'was stirring, unit went into the pan-
ilia! W'y can't I. go out 'a' play with
think I'll get my life insured."
try with a Jim idea of finding the ueces-
them boys?
To her surprise her husband slid nut
nary materials for gpttiug his own
breakfast,
Ma—Because, mly dear, they're flaughto
appear to be much interested in the
A hasty inspection tans not reassuring,
boys; I can lea them swearing.
Tommie (suddenly LW,, eau?
proposition. After a short silroce, dill--
ing which he continuer} to read his liews.
and he went upstairs again for another
Oh, ma! wkiat're they sayiu'?—Truth.
Paper, she said it ugaiu, with a little
wrestle with Morpheus.
more emphasis : "Joseph, I'm going to
An unusually loud yawn awakened
"I suppose you talKed nbout other wo-
get my life insured."
Mrs. McSwat.
men at the sewing society this after'
"You are T' he said, looking tQTk,-xttM.-•
" What are you doing, Billiger?" she
noun," said Mr. Calwker to his wife.
lessly. •`Ili whose favor l'
asked.
"Yes," replied Mrs. Cawker. "Wo.
11 Why, my own, of course. You don't
"Lobelia," he said with another dismal '
men fire not so conceited -its mon. who
auppose I'd go to all that trouble Lor
yawn, "what wag your idea in covering
uttk about thenlselvev."—Hao pet's Baz t!•,
anybody else, do you ?"
that large Bake in the pllntry with a
'I don't know. I don't sce what good
sheet of sticky flypaper?"
Light -minded Young Thing iu a Bath -it's
going to do you to have it insured
Mrs, McSwat sat bolt upright,
ing Suit—Surely, Aunt Margaret, you
111 favor of yourtclf."
"What du you mm
mean?' she deawk-41,
are not going to wear your spec•tueles ii
"I don't sap what good it would do
"Who says I put It sheet of fly paler
the water,
me to have it done for anybody else,"
on that cake?" I
Aunt Margaret—Indeed I 8111, Nuthing
all(' retorted.
"I say it," he retorted. "I saw it my-
shall anduce me' to take off another thing.
"1\0," he returned, "neither do 1. The
self not five minutes ago. Sticky fie•
•--New York 'TMAine.
Pact of the matter ,s, if it is your own
paper. White. -And covered with flues?"
Interest you are looking after, I'd ad-
" +
Chore cl with Hits'
Teacher—Do you understand the mean•
vise you to give up the idea altogcthcr
"'There wasn't room for another Ay.'
in of the terms labor unit capital?
fi
and save your money."
"ltilliuer!" shiicdced \fess \ir.•ltslit• I
BOY—Yes, sir; I know what it }8. It if
His heartless way of dismissing the
"that isn't fly paper. It's the icing! I'll
boy coasts down a hill, that's capital,
subject dampened her ardor somewhat,
but
never malting icing again by your n1n_
If ,toper buy rides the •b'cycle up, that's
After the lapa m
se of few oments
ther's recipe is long its I live—so there'. !
in
she took the matter up again with re -
Talk to Ine about---"newed
But Billiger was half way down the
" How }u creation did you manage to
vigor.
`It's the easiest way to make money
stairs am the way to the baro to wait I
get the big to sleep, 1?'e
g poc? R
I know of," she said.
sill the storm Blew over.—Chicugu Tri-
tried everything known to medic
+.al Well," he remarked, it all depends
bone•
science.„
I upon how you look at it. Most lx•ople
"I just stationed ft couple of fellows
prefer to make it almost Any other way”
He'd sr.•.•r 'then.
outside to yell for Help."—Detroit 1t'ree
I rags.
"I don't see why. Now, just look at
Mrs. Harlem, for instlrice. She and Mr.
Harlem gut their Iives insure( A yenr
"I wish you girls would be ft. little
ago. It cost Mfrs. Harlem only $2120.7(1
more puncttntl. I make a point of al.
premium,. std now she is just literally
ways fouling It'll to time."
rolling in money. She has diamonds and
"IIa! that explains it.".
a horse and carriage all(] everything."
fi
"i':xplAins what?"
"A -a=hem ! .lir. Harlem died, did he
"Why time flitw."—Pick-Jif Up,
not ?"
"Why. ves. but what difference does
"There is nothing ftinny alwut being
that make ?"
a cook in th.i,s weather." said the sympa-
::Not any, perhaps, to stirs. IIarlem."
i
r
thizer.
"Oh, of co. arse she feels bad about it,
"Oh. I don't know," warhled the ch('f.
but that has nothing to do with her
y
"C}iHing bacon i.9 simply side-splitting.-
policy. Now, Joseph, who, ean't I do
—Cincinnati In1(7nirer.
that ? I (,fill pay out x+220.70 now in
"I discovered n gold mine," taaid the
Irecmtln draw`uoluts. Adt elhl,l)IHi.I Ilnnestl of thepfiI
o✓
49er,
"l Invented a torpedo-boat," replied
think these tiff insurances companies
are the most livonderful institutions I
the genius.
ever heard of. People are always run-
Thpn they shook hinds Tike brotliers
ping them (town, but I don't believe
and pooled their capita) to buy 'a cheap
there's another concern in the country
dinner.—Detroit Free I'ress,
that would du it thine like that."
"Probably not," interposed Mr. Broad-
Doar a.nt jnne,„ wrote tittle Bennie
way, laconically.
�j
Jimpkins to his fnther'c sister. "T thot
"The only thing that puzzles me isI
wood rate nn' tell you that ma got 9
what company to select,” silk, went on.
\ / /baby
tenpin' t.he%' fue linnrs will fin' you
"See here, Mitrilia," said her husband
the same yore aefyou bonny.•'—Ilatper'swiW
sadden gravity, "1'm afraidells
Bazar.
don't understand this thing. It would
uTlo you think you can actustnm you-
ou to ta�e
outan utter a life policy anrbi of 10,(or (10 for your
fi
"Now, Alice, come on; I'll pull, and
self to Klondyke cooking?"
„
,why i1r1t? My tvi,fe tool: the first
own use at the end a year. "
"But
you take the tiller." I
prize at Vasltsar for 'her paper -weight
hies. Harlem slid."
(l
"Dios she didn't. Her policy was taken
Very good Jack! Is it a permanent
hiscuits."--Cleveland Plain Dealer•
out in favor of her husband, and vice
a rra n gemen t ?
versa-"
"Yes; till we're married."
"How do you prculounev 'Juneau?' "
11 Well, then, I'll have mine made out
asked life inquisitive friend,
to You. You can turn the money over
Reflections of a Rachelor.
"Nell," replied the old-time miner, "I
to me.. It']1 be the same thiltg in the
One little corn that has just come is
can't say as a matter of book -learning.
i long run."
all a girl will ever own u p to.
g i
But from experience I should be ,n-
to it Jaria.h', '
n
"But don't you see, he persister(,
I
Young men dress for women. old men
el•ined pronounce —Wash-
"that T shouldn't be able to get the
for themselves, and the rest dress be-
ington Star. a,
money unless vols went to die ?"
cause they have to.."But
A mail has lots of faith in a woman
"here is a new connnidi-tim," said the
Mrs. ITarlem didn't (lie."
1. No, but her husband did. It was his
till she begins to tell him Whitt color
cheerful boarder; "I made it myself.
insurance she got."
neckties he ought to wear.
What is the difference between me and .t
girt,. Broadway looked at him blankly.
A woman is never afraid of it conn,
Klondyke miner? Can you guess, Mrs.
"Does somebody have to die ?" she
but she often gets a curious delight out
HAwhle!gh?"
am".
of being afraid she might be afraid up
"No, I never liked conundrui q," snap-
"Certainly +'
one.
peel the landlady.
"All give it up?"
'Well," she said, after a moment's re -
"if 'l;
The averse
g girl ,pends half her time
, There no response.
flecticw, thatthe case, Josephs I
Rot seeing jukes and the other hid[ go-
was lm
B(vause," ;said the checr'fvl boarder,It
think you'd better get it on your life.
doesn't
ing around seeing subtle meanings in
things where there ain't any.
„
one stakes the and the other
make tiny difference to me
I tvho is insured, just so I get the $10,011Y)
A woman often says a thing that hasn't
tiny meaning bovatise she knows the
(claim
claims the steak.
And the helped himiself to the bit of
i kit the end of the year."
"Thunder !" groaned Mr. Broadway.
men will think out n meaning for it and
rloin on the platter. --Cleveland Main
Dealer,
Arid Mrs, Broadway
y coakdn't make out
I for the life her he it.
then think she meant it.
of why should say
73i.marck and the Emperor.
don't you think stir.[ bathing
gives
gives weak people a serious shod(?"
A Noel Litigant.
Bismarck, who had worn himself out
"sensibly, the first time 'they--er—
The following defoace w•kis put in the
in the service of Gerniany and of his
see, it."—Puek,
other day, in an Arkansas court, to un
Emperor, rarely referred to his labors
action by a butcher to recover the hal-
for the Fatherland. One morning he
"I am told l'our wife would rattler
uncc of his account. from a former (rus-
and the Emperor William were riding
conk than eat.
tomer:
together in the park. They had not
The other mail glanced nervously over
The defendant stntes--
gone far when Bismark complained of '
him shoulder.
1. That he only ordered half of the
fatigue. The Emperor, who was quite
"What she cooks, yes," he replied in
nient included in the said account.
fresh, said somewhat testily:
a hoarse whisper.—I)ct.roit Journal.
2. That he could not eat the half of
"How is it that, though I am an older
the melt included in the said account
man than yourself, I'I•inCe, I can al-
Jack—ITow is your slister getting on
that lie did order.
whys outride you?"
vii -it'll her singing lesmons?
3. 'rhat he did not agree to pay half
Bismnrek's reply wits as reproachful
Chisie—Well, papa, 'ham taken the wad-
the price charged for the half of the
as it wits epigrammatic.
ding out of lits cars for the first time
meat included in the said necount which
"Ali, sire," he said, "the rider always
to-day.—Fliegende Blaetter.
lie did order and could not eat.
outlasts the horse."
4. That like half of the meet included
I just know they talked about me
in the said account• whieh he did order,
For Itevenue only.
all the trine at our chub meeting yes-
roold not eat, and did not agree to pay
"I don't take your paper myself," be-
terdnv," avid Mrs. Brown..,
half the price eharged for, Ili(] not come
gall an Irate skinflint, invading the of-
How do you know?' asked her hus-
in time to be eaten.
'I'
five of The Hawville Clarion, "but I'm
told a lie about me
told that you ptI
llald.
„ Bemuse I was the only member of
nt i
o h the said oruil was obtained
from him by frinul, guile, flattery, pro -
I
In the last issue; tin' I tell you rifbt
the club a'bsent."—Ohio State Jowruual.
mise%, . retortion, deceit, coaxing find
now; that it hall to be stopped, or—'
"And
"Mrs, Gallagher is an fleet as Diana,
$
other undue inflnt•nees.
(i. That the Qof farther preys
we tell you in returnair," inter-
ruptQd the able editor, with dignity, "that
+ o
isn't she?
"T don't know. A.11 the Dianns I have
till, b
the destrltetimi of the butcher, and %ueh
disposition of the body and other relief
it was stopped before it began. Your
name was not even mentioned, nor will
ever seers were made out of solid rock
a'nd weighed A ton -"—Detroit Pree Free+.
Its the court hi its wisdom (having denit
with may deem meet.
4t be till sun plank down the cash for
year's subscription. We'll have you
Dnna—HP there thing
ed thin 1
Dated this Kith day of April, 1.907.a
I
understand, sir, that The Clarion will
said wag one
about me he didn't like.
T119 i11.1Fh1NDAN'T.
(in pprsonl
not IM about you nor an other man who
Cora—What was that?
�
—T hi Adelphia I fess•
Rot paid-up eubeerilerl"—uck.
M a F(
"Another man's arm,"—Life.
Special Furniture Sale
.r• i5119 A T COST
)DO tring �eptembex-.
We have too big a stock of Parlor Suites, Lounges, Conches, Easy Chairs,
and many other lints which Must go out if low prices will do it.
To make room, the grand assortment of standard },roods will be sold AT C08T
during September. If you want a Genuine Bargain collie to BARLL+'TT's.
Our Undertaking �
Department .. .
Is well stocked with modern require-
wents at reasonable. prices. ,.,,t
�3• C. Bi��� 121 sic
FURNITURE AND UNDERTAKING.
Baron Street, next Gilroy & Wiseman's. _
1885 ---The Old Reliable Furniture Store, ---1897
Call in And see Illy stock of Household Furniture. Some late designs in
EXTENSION TABUS, BEDROOM SUITES in OAA, Elm, Ash, Maple, &c•
FANCY ROCKERS, 2d.&TTRESSES, SPRING BEDS, PICTURES, CU11-
TAIN POLES. SIDL'BOARDS, EASLES, CENTRE TABLES; &c,
Pictures Fritnl'teel, glass used in picturo frames, specitill imported, Mouldings,
American and Canadian, Fine assortment, Frames for Photos.
Prices right, good valve for your money. Goon Feathers taken in exchange,
Soni! good Feathers for Sale. i
berL sU•cet '' . I
J . C. Stevenson, Oppostt.c Town RAI
I
Leading Undertaker and Embalmer.
Residence user Store. J. C. STEVEN$ON. !�
Special to Camping and Picnic Parties...
Citnned'Tarkey, Chicken, Duck, (torn Beef, Lunch Tongue, Boneless Pigs Feet,
Fit nitn Iladdie, 111ackeral, Kippeved Herring, Salmon, I+'rash Herring.
FINEST BRANDS SARDINES
Mullegatawny, Mock Turtle and Chicken Soups in Cans,
Picnic Hams, L+'nglish Breakfast Bacon, Sugar Cured and Smoked Shoulders,
Gillard's Sweet Pickles, a delicious relish.
N. Robson, Grocer, Albert St., Clinton.
ONE GIVES RELIEF.
Don't Spend a ""®ffar
for
Medicine
until you have tried
t ,- , a 4 'Sr.�,/1i'�„i •wiJ�J• f^: �+J • {W,��?' �1 ''.
..,s��?bit 111
i•'. ;�r3
-, ,..,. a;7c• "1 `+(.sir.,;
You can buy them in the paper 5 -cent cartons
I
Ten Tabules for Five Cents. i
Tb" wet I. put up onmply to gmiify tho univere.i pro.ent demnyd for n low price.
If you don't find this sort of
lZipans Tabules
At the Druggist's,
r.woe Send Five Cents to THs RIPANS CHrwICAi. COMPANY, No. ro
Spruce 9t., New York, and they will be sent to you by mail; or
12 cartons will be mailed for 48 cents. The'chances are ten to
massone that 'Ripans Tabules aro the very medicine you need.
.. A :... ...e -fess _� .... ... 9� ..�.:...r,u:.... • -. _• .''.: '.:. .,. •i10� .4 . • "id_ A