The Huron News-Record, 1897-07-07, Page 7IME12
The ®nly Pne
To Stand the Fest.
Rev. William Copp, whose father
was a physician for over fifty years,
in New Jersey, and who himself
spent many years preparing for the
practice of medicine, but subse-
quently entered the ministry of the
2.1. E. Church, writes: "I am glad
to testify that I have
had analyzed all the
s& P P
rsa arilla re para.
tions known in the
trade, but
AYER'S
is the only one of
` them that I could
"'' b e.. blood -purifier. I have
given• away hundreds of bottles of
it, as I consider it the safest as well
as the best to be had."—Wal. Corr,
Pastor 11. E. Church, Jackson, Minn.
IVER9S
ONLY WORLD'S FAIR
_Q�pS���a'181_
When in doubt, ask forAyer's Pills
r
The 11wen News-Recora
81.25 a Yea1-81.00in Advance
WEDNESDAY. JULY 7th, 1897.
It's An Ili Wind, Etc.
-- A
k'. The fire in the western block at Ot-
tawa brought good luck to somebody.
' Mr. lerael Tarte ordered that the
desks and chair's and papers of the
I, Public Works and Customs Depart-
ments be transported to temporary
pr-emises one, block distant.
The work was done, and the bills
were sent,in,
How much will it be supposed this
moving has cost us I
t $25,000 ! '
,'
This Hot
I Weather
YOU AIE PHYSICALLY AND
MEPs ALLY EXHAUSTED.
a-- -..
Paine's Celery Compound is
the Great'Builder and
I • Recuperator.
1. As a rule there is no pain following
physical and mental exhaustion and
debility.
You know you are weak, faint, tan
quid, have loss of memory, depression
of spirits, with. a wasting of flesh
Your troubles proceed simply froth
nervous exhaustion, and though you are
not suffering pain and agony, be assur.
ed your condition is extremely peril-
ous,- and demands immediate attention,
That wonderful stream (the blood)
that runs .to every part of the body.
supplying the most minute nerves and
tissues, is foul and poisoned. In yout
present condition your blood is not a
life' stream ; it is a stagnant pool of
disease and death.
The healthy, bale and strong, that
near 'up during the hottest weather,
and that are blessed with Olean, puce
'blood and steady nerves, are the people
who make use of Paine's Celery Com-
pound, the only medicine that revital
izes the blood, that fortifies the nor.
Vous system, that gives perfect diges•
tive power, sound sleep and a new
lease of life to those advanced in years
K'' Paine's Celery Compound is truly
the great modern elixir of life, and nc
' order that doctors approve of it and
trongly recommend it.
Why go on in wretchedness and
isery when such a medicine pr'omisef
°ealth, vigor. and new life? We rec•
inmend you no ugtried remedy,
every bottle of Paine's Celery Com
ound is warranted to do the work it
romises. There is health and life ih
v ry dr(PO __
Nine children have been killed, and
any others injured, by the collapse
f a church wall at Solana, Spain,
One honest Man.
rat oto
;bf ear Editor.—Please inform o y
tillers that if written to confidential.
y'1i will mail, in a sealed letter, par.
t1TAO of a genuine, honest, home
ase, by which i was permanently rr
ed to health and manly vigor, after
to•bf suffering from nervous debil
)'Oox,tlal weakness, night losses and
Te 'shrunken parts. I was robbed
swindled by the quacks until 1
lost faith in mankind, but thank
t3h, I sin now well, vigorous and
g° and wish to make this certair'.
s Of cute known to all sufferers,
ve' nothing to sell and want nc
t'3ts'kldt Using a firm believer in the
+erij- brotherhood of man, I atm
]roaof helping the unfortunate tc
iii their bea•lth and happiness, I
mise -you perfect secrecy.
dress with stamp :
T, MtIt1FonDt Agent Supplies,
. '.'O, Box 59, St. Henri, (due,
1.
I
MY SWEETHEARTS.
Aly first was young and very fair,
With bright blue eyes and yellow hair;
A surplice white to church he wore;
I loved him fur a mouth (it more.
Aly second, he was gaunt sad Ihla,
I
All round the hemisplheres he'd been'.
Ile'd shut at lions, killed u bear;
1 loved him for about a year,
Aly third had dowing coal-bluc•k luckii
(1 wmv then green uud yelluw• frocks),
He played sad sung my heart away;
1 loved him out, year and u day, '
My fourth was handsome, but so poor!
That only made me love him more;
I wept and sighed, but had part,
It almost, almost broke my heart.
-vVe 1 •anuot su
Div fifth was 11 c
y Y
What he was like; but une fine day
1 swure to love him all my life;
And uuw he culls me "Little Wife."
Aly slxth'i Aly sixth Is very small,
Ile hardly seems a man at all;
lint, uh, 1 could not bear to part,
With either Fifth or Sixth Sweetheart.
-.Luuduu `,.ion.
EXPLAINED.
Bute Whether Satisfactorily Is a Verb
Difficult Matter to T 11.
"Henry," she said,and there were what
a novelist would call tears in her voice
us she spoke. "f don't believe you love
Hie any more."
He took the oigar from his mouth and
looked at her in surprise over the top of
his newspaper,
"Maria," he said, "don't be foolish,"
"There!" sbe exclaimed. "'There's evi-
dence of the taint of what I said. `Don't
be foolish!' Did you ever sln'ak to tic
that way before we were married'!"
"No, my deur; I did not," he admitted.
",'hen," she said, repro=achfully, "lily
slightest wish wits law; then you never
sat around like u dummy, smoking a
cigar and reading a paper when I was in
the room; then you seemed anxious to
please me and ,were ever on the wat -h
to do some little favor for are."
"It is true," he admitted.
"You were never lazy then," she went
on. "You were full of life and spirits;
you were energetie."
"Quite true," he said.
"If you love me now as mach as you
,lid then,"' she persisted, "you wuulll
strive as valiantly as ever."
11 A4 dear," he said in that calm, dis-
passionate tone that makers the aver-
age wife want to get a poker or a broom,
"did you ever see a boy trying to get
an tipple or a Cherry that was just a
little oltt of his reach?"
"C.er•tit]nly," she answerod. "but—"
He keeps jumpingnnd jumping until
Ilk, gets it, doesut Ire?"
"Of course."
"But dues he conti-nue jumping after
he has got it?"
it,
.Certainly not. There's no need of
"
"Well," he said, as he turned to his
paper again, "you are my cherry, and
I don't .lee any reason why I abould keep
on jumping any more than the boy."
She didn't say anything, but site
thought and thought, and the more she
thought the more unde'c'idvil she became
as to whether she ought to be angry or
not.—CWeag•o News.
Sad.
"I hour that 1Ciliie is sufi'cring from
concussion of the brain. What, caused
it"
"Ile was struck by an id;'a, poor fel-
low."
Not Equal to the Test.
There is ;t business man in this town
who is a terror to stenographers. His
amenuensis, who has heen with him for
a long time, was recently taken sick. The
employer mailed a letter to a local buei-
ness college to send him it stenographer
and typewriter. The businom mail is
very particular about his vocabulary,
and wants everything written just as
he dictates it. Therefore, in order to
test the newcomer's accuracy, he, in-
stead of dictating an ordinary business
letter, gave forth the following at a
rate of speed that would do justice to
astump speaker:
In promulgating your esoteric cogu-
tation or articulating your superficial
sentimentalities and amicable philoso-
phical or Psychological observations be-
ware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let—"
But he got no further, for the poor
amanuensis broke his pencil in the ef-
fort, after which lie got up, wiped the
ferspiriiun from his forehead and quick-
y kft the office.—Philadelphia Record.
Dockery Got His Kind.
Ctrl. Joe Johnston, who hits been a
post office inspector for long years, is an
old chum of Dockery of Missouri. The
otheT day after dinner at Willard's the
two stepped to the cigar stand to get
what is indispensable to every true Mis-
sourian.
Let's have some of the kind of cigars
Doe kery always smokes," said Col.
Johnston. "Isere, Dockery, take one,
. and put two or three in your pocket,"
added the Colonel, with much exhibition
of conscious liberality.
Dockery availed himself of the treat,
but without great enthusiasm,
"Now," snid the Colonel to the, man
of cigars, amd beaming with comfortable
feel!ng, give me some good cigars for
myself."—Pittsburg Dispateh.
- - ii ; i
There He Drew the Line.
"Pardon me," said the polite highway-
man, "but I must Bak you to stand and
deliver." IV
Thc coach stopped. The door opened
with surprising alacrity, and it young
woman with a very large bat stepped
out into the moonlight. In her band
she held a small loather -Covered box.
"Here they are" she said, cheerfnlly.
"Wbat?" aspect the highwayman.
My diamonds," said the ladcv. "I am
an actress, you know, and--'
The highwayman leaped upon bis
horse.
Madam," said be, removing his hat'
gracefully, "you mast excuse me, I may
be a hig,liwaymatn, but I nm not an ad-
vertisement,"—Roston Budget.
"A I
Too Many For Iden.
She—DO you think you could guess
how old I am?
He (absently)—I'm afraid not. I never
wwas very
good at figures.—Cleveland
. _ .._. Ii A, ../aua.kAW0119011121ii
,•
WHY 15UPPER WITH PILRB FI
Moral Value of flash.
Dr. Chase's Ointment Will Curo Them at
CostUf
And the moral of it a117 For, as the
Duchess told Alice. ' Hverythiu 'e gut u
a but 80 Cents.
Piles, scrofula, eczematic erupttone,
uloritl; if only you can find it. is the
scald head, salt rheum and all outer
case i the heroines of the ueof se
very different from the case the
•unuu ing and ain!ul skfat diseases can
Y t. p
-o
he'ruiues—anti or the heroes tuo—oY real
bu easily cured by Dr. Chase's Ointment.
life? I'erliaps with it little money early
" I had protruding pilee for ten
Sutherland, cont-
' in life the evil int Miss ltebcccat Sharp
I have for
yours," wri es H, 11,
mercial trr•veller, of Truro, N.H.; "tried
might slumbered all time; and
I who call tell to what dire confusion
many roi_.'dies, aad had doctors oper-
poverty might have hr•otight the Duroth-
itte, It was no use. Was completely
I sax and Marcell,ts'! The scientists would
laid up at times, Chase's Watment
1 have us believe that the struggle fur
was recommended to me by Mr. Brenuars
I food and clothing is the iuceutive to pro-
of the Suanmerside, P.F.i., Jouraal,
1 gn-ss and eivilizatiow the cututiouah;ty,
tried it, and one box completely euro
with it shudder at this ncalevialisut, as-
Hie."sign
loftier motives for human conduct.
Mr. Statia, the editor of the Streets-
itihichever may be right, neither eta
villaOnt Review, gives this cited
deny that the best or us like our lett!o
comforts, whl'il]Pl' Aa 1❑ the CASP Of glee
t
ttwtimonial under date of Nov. ll, 1895:
'•Half
rugal spoudthriftietu, ]t tikes fifty mil -
a bolt of Dr.Chase's Ointment cured
i
I to supply or, like some aged
my daughtor of eczema. That was six
rave
gentleman of African descent, we bravo
gent African
mouths ago, and there has sfuce been
k
1 only
!only a Lew cents with which to bay a
no reappearance of the diseass."
corncob pipe and bag of tobacco; whe-
T. Wallace, blacksmith, of Iroquois,
ther,t'like Queen Elizabeth, tbree ban -
Ont., was troubled with bliud itching
Bred and sixty-five dresses are turd.ed to
Olm for 20 years. " I tried every
fill our wardrob,m, or, as in the case of
remedy that came out in vain," he
the pilgrim mothers, we are content with
writes, "until I tried Dr, Chase's Oint-
home -spun to make us a Lord's tiny
ment. It was a godsend. one box
gown. Which of us can tell how smiling
cured me."
and well behaved the worst of as might
All dealers and Edmansou, Bates tit Co.,
become if, its in the case of the heroines,
manufacturers, Toronto. Price 00c.
some one possessed the author's power
_----_. .—
to bestow upon us just that suitable al -
Linseed and turpentUie aro every mo-
lowanee which each feels would bring
thor's household remedy for coughs,
about a state of perfect comfort?—Lip-
colds, throat and lung affections. 1) r.
piucott's Magazine.
Chaso has disguised the taste and made
the, remedy pleasant to take. Large
Sir Walter Scott.
bottle only 25c.
Sir Walter Scott had his share of
curious experiences ill the same con-
_-----------------_--- -----
nection shortly after being called to the
Robert K. Powley, tine 1 ia,;ara
bar. His first appearance as counsel in
wife murderer, coos electrocuted
Fallsi
a criminal court was at Jcdburgh as-
sizes in the year 1703, when he Suc:
Tuesday morning in Auburn, N, Y ,
cessfully defended a veteran poacher,
"You're a lucky scoundrel," Scott whis-
prison.
pered to his client when the verdict was
given "I'm just o' our mind," re -
THE BEST ADVERTISENUENTS.
Many thousands of unsolicited lut.
tern have reached the manufacturers
Scott's Emulsion from those curl -d
through its use, of Consumption and
,-o(ulous diseases 1 .Done can speak
so confidently of is merits as thou
who have tested it, —
The estimate of Chicago's popula-
tion by the publishers of the city dir-
ectory is 1,88,000, an increase o
76,000 ovor last year.
-- - -Wr- - --
A STORY 3,(." :- YEARS OLD.
You know the ancient stow about.
Penelope, the wife of Ulvsses? No
doubt, for it hits peen tolil over and
over for the Inst 3,C ' ) years. Never-
theless let us hr.ve it once more—cut
short. Ulysses went oft to the war,
and left Penelope at home. A very
long time elapsed and he didn't. come
hack. People tried to pursuade. her tc
marry again. She said she would ae
soon as she finished it piece of cloth
she wits weaving. All -right, they
said, thinking they should have het
married again before the new moon
was old. But they WOW disappointed,
Deterucined to await tM return of her
husband she picked apart every night
AS much of the cloth as she had woven
during the day.
"A ,-Pry obvious device," you say,
"yet what of it?" A good deal of it,
It ivade the old Greek vagabond
happy off his return, and it furnishv:
ine with at neat and effective illustra•
tion, Kindly read the following' letter
lull you ,will see the point for yourself.
"In the spring of 155(i I began tc
seifrel, from illness. i ftlt weak, lan-
gui.i, and tired. 11y :appetite: was very
poor, and whin little feud I took gave
,. .. sides. i nd
.roc c
• 'n • 1 he chest,
ui it tt ),u .t t
h:(ck Aftw' every meal I was 'sic•k,
nay .'Xtonlarh heiiifl irnahb. to rr abi any food,
I dieted myself, taping only plain and
simple food, but this tirade nu differ-
encr.
"As time went on, the pain at illy
chest and side increased, untill it war
like a knife Cutting tile. In this ,city
continued until October, 1880, when I
,wits obliged to give up Illy situation.
At this tinie i was In service at tut
RP�tory, Tetsworth.
"I returned to my home, where 1
finally became so weak that. f Could
a)ot lift •a knife to my uurtith. I wire
fed un slops, Vitt even this light noir•
isliment gave Hie intense pain and dis•
tress. I got little or no sleep at, night,
and )erxsted away so much that I did not
think I should live.
During my long illness f wits treated
by several different, physicians, batt
their medicines did me no good. It)
March, 1890, my mother persuaded mt
to try Mother Seigel's Curative Syrup
After, ticking one bottle f found relief.
The sickness left fire and my food gavt
are no pain. After having need three
bottles I was cured, and have nevet
had a day's illness since. My mistress
rend others asked what had cured rile,
and I told them it was Mother Seiglel's
Syrup. I :till willing that this state
nient should be published. (Signed
.Mrs , Agnes Sadler, Ooornhe Wood,.
Cnddesdon, near- Wheatley-, Oxtord
shire, February `2nd, 1801."
In Mrs. Sadler's letter you will ob
serve parts of two sentences set it
italics by the printer. Be good enougl'
to read them again. The idea is thal
the lady's stomach rejecter! food, and
that she wasted awiiy. Why? Be.
cause the hnma.n body is like the wel
or cloth which Penelope was weaving
and unravelling, so long ago. Th(
food we eat weaves it bigger, and wear
and tear pick it to pieces. This hap
pens every day—all the time. Wher
the weaving equals the unravelling,.
you are well ; when the unravelling is
more than the weaving, you do whal
Mrs. Sadler diel ---you waste away.
The weaver (or builder) is the stow•
itch and the other organs of digestion,
Our correspondent sutlered from e
failure of these organs to do their
work. Her food lay and fermented it
ni
her stornach. Hence all her pains a r
sicitness. Unless one can digest it is
worse than useless to eat. .Because,
instead of making yon feel strong,
courageous, and ambitions, food turn,
against you ; becomes sour, rotten and
poisonous, and scatters the seeds of
suffering in every part of your body
reached by the corrupted blood; and
that is everywhere. This is indiges
tion and dyspepsia—the bane and curse
of all life, civilised or savage, since
man appeared on the earth. head
Mrs. Sadler's letter again to learn how
it begins, how it advances, the horror's
of being a slave to it, and (best of all
how to cure it.
Homer made Peneliipe famous in r
poem; but through their letters and
words of thanks for rescue from suffer
ing, the women of England have con
ferrPd a better renown on Mothei
Seigel and her great discovery.
r
tri the latter, "and I'll send --ou a
(hare) the morn, man," Lock -
bar , ho narrates the incident, omits to
add whether the "mankin" duly reach-
ed ed Scott, but no doubt it did.
On another occasion Scott was less
successful in his defense of a house-
breaker, but the culprit, grateful for his
counsel's exertions, gave him, in lieu of
e the orthodox fee, which he was unable
to pay, this piece of advice, to the value
of which he, the housebreaker, could
professionally attest: First, never to
have a large watchdog out of doors, but
to keep a little yelping terrier withal;
and, secondly, to put no trust in ntec,
clever, gimcrack lochs, but to pin his
faith to a httee_�o d e X" one with a
rusty key. ._E._` '" Membered this
incident and thirty years later, at a.
judge'e dinner at .Tedburgh, he recalled
it in this impromptu rhyme:
"Yelping terrier, rusty key,
Was Walter Scott's best Jeddart fee."
—Westminster Gazette.
Hight -Handedness.
Right-handedness, so long as scientific
puzzle, is believed by Dr, G. V. Poove
to be a result of the distribution of the
weight of the viscera in the thorax, and
to have had its Origin with our four -
limbed ancestors. long, befem they 'began
to stand on their hind, legs for Orator) -
cal or other purposes, Much the greater
weight of the viscera is on the left side.
This causes the stability of the anima'l's
body to be more upset by lifting its left
paw than its right, and the right paw,
,�jjtterefore, is the one usually selected for
iTidependent use. A creeping child would
for the slime reason use the right arnt
for purposes independent of locomotion.
New Kind of Fire Hecape.
A combination water tower and fire
escape recently patented has a large
tauk placed on a framework, which is
nosed into position by means of a screw
turned by a crank, the hose being at-
tached to the tank before it is .raised
and the ladder being formed in the frame
work, so that when the tower is placed
in the window the water flows in and
persons can use the ladder. •
Fountain Ruling Yon.
c r ruling en a r�
n u
• shade )
new
In a b g P
servoir is usotl to hold the ink, the out-
flow being regulated by it rod running
through the pen to the lower end, the
ink being allowed to il"ty out until :1
slltlicieut (ltiantity is obtained, when the
hole is closed nod the fern is ready for
Use._ •
,
Reduced to Extremities.
"One time," said the travelled boa. -d-
er '
oa,d-
ei•. "I got snowed in on the Kocky
Mountain°, and the only thing seven of
us ]tad for t, -.,o days to sustain life was
it half barrel of pickled pigs' feet.
"You were, indeed," said the Cheerful
Idiot, "reduced to extremicies."
---
NON-SECTARIAN.
ll(1'INF.6 ALL At1:ET ON :t COJt}tUN I, Is1'F.L
AND ARE OF ONR ACCORD IN PRO
CLAIM1110 THE HEALING POWHR5 01-
DR.
PDR. AGNEW'S CATARRHAL POWDER—IT
BELIE1'ES IN THIR'rl 111MUTES,
"When I know anything is worthy
of a recommendation I consider it my
duty to tell it." Rev. Jas. INfurdock,
of Harrisburg, Pa., says this of Dr.
Agnew's Catarrhal Powder after hav
ing been cured of a very malignant
form of catarrh. He is ,not the only,
great divine on this continent who
could, or who has preached little ser-
monettes on the wonderful" cures ef-
fected by this famed remedy. What
names are more familiar to Canadians
than Rt, Rev. A. Sweetnlan, Lord
Bishop of Toronto, and Dr. Langtry;
of the Church of England ;' the Rev,
Mungo Fraser, of Knox Presbyterian
church, Hamilton, or the noted Meth.
odist preacher- traveller, Dr. W. I'I
Withrow of Toronto. All these men
have proven what is claimed for Dr,
.have
Catarrhal Powder, and have
given their written testimony to it. --
Sold by Watta & Co.
About three hundred Indians, most
ly Bannocks from the Leinhi agency,
and some from Nevada, are ghost'
dancing near Idaho. — -
Piles Cured I►y Dr. Chase.
I. M. Iral, 186 Drolet Street, Mon
treal. 15 years suffered. Cured of
J31ind Itching Piles. •
William Buttler, Possawan, Ont
Suffered many months. Cured o
Protruding Piles by one box.
Pabano Bastard, Gower Point, Ont
Suffered for 30 years.. Cured of Itch
ing Piles, by three .boxes.
Nelson Simmone, Myersburg, Ont
cured bf Itching Piles.
Dr. Chase's Ointment will positive
ly cure all forms of piles. Write ani
of the above if in doubt.
.A RE' ')RD BREAKER. '"
I knuwsuite• (i)[66 Imagine, just because a
till ug Is cheap,
'rhut its value Is prupurtlunately small, I
I suppose you'd thunk u quarter, tiuw,•uuld
be Infernal w
ernal steep
For that tin thermometer upon the wall.
A your ago In summer, when the days were j
gettlug but,
It wits purchased from u pedlar for a
dime,
Through all the sweltering summer time It
hung there In that spot,
And It beats all other records every time.
My neighbors have thermometers wbieh cost
a good deal more;
They clal- to have the best that each vau '
buy;
But when they tried for records, well,
sumehuw the fa lied to scure,
Nur their soul- bulletins were always �
shy.
When June wuulll "It's a say: t s nighty In the
shade; that's pretty hut!"
I would point to i n•v thermometer and say:
•'fume off, my frfeud; you're not so warm;
It's ninety, to a dot!
You would better throw that thing of
yours away!"
One day he palled upon mi there was tri-
umph ,11 his eye,
"It's ulnety hi the shade!" he fairly thun-
dered,
I showed him my thermometer and said:
"How's that for high? m
The mercury, you see, records a hundred!"
Throughout the summer, day by day, I won
out every time;
Nor I always beat their figures tea de-
g rees,
And toy trusty old recorder, that had cost
ine just u dime,
Was a wiener -till the first autumnal
freeze.
Right there we lost our foothold. My ther-
mometer went wrong.
In vale I tried to pull the thing together;
The mercury was well ahead till whiter
came along;
Then It seemed to be affected by the wea-
therl
Through till the months of wintry cold I
felt most mighty "sore,"
(Oh, how badly those thermometers be-
haved),
Whenever mine went down at all their's
dropped ten notches lower,
And a listener might have thought me
quite depraved.
This spriug my old thermometer braced up
agalu all right,
It Is warming up to business well; and,
any,
Your money couldn't bay It now! It's sim-
ply out of sight!
R'r can beat the world In summer, any-
way!
A M.xlern Galatea.
When Clyde Hammond, it young busi.
ness nutn, ,vent h,ortx' to supper the other
evening lie was much surprised to find it
new piece of decoration in his parlor
which had the appearance of the fe-;tie
form divine.
"I3y George! Wham a beautiful statue!"
ho,said admiringly as he walked ut•ouud
it.
"I am not a statue, by George, or any
other artist," said a strangely familiar
voice which seemed to come from Lite
depths of the mwrble.
"W,ho on earth are you?" he ask(A,
"I was your wife before 1 was Petri -
lied," came the muffled answr'r.
"Harriet, what does this main? Wb.y
are you masquerading as a statue?"
"I could not help it, dear; it is- or
rather I am—tin impertinence of a,t.
Isn't that what they call an artist's
vi-garies? I nioarr,t to give my hair it
soda wash, but I took plaster of pane
by iirisGtke—and look at me!"
"Harriet, you remind me of Lot's
wife—you really do." .
"I dar"ay, but, Claude, can you th•tw
me out'!"
And now Mr. Hammond says that he
is thankful his wife did out paint her -
H( -If as :t piece of china and go in for a
firing.
Hard to Tell the Uifrerenee tiuw'uda• s.
~
, ':\\
fV:C`
w Q
tr (
SCOTIA'S TOWSY TYKE.
I ken the terrier o' the !forth, `tj
I ken the tuwsy tyke ; ,
Ye'll search frae Tweed to Sussex shoal, ,
Butnever find the like.
11ur pluck, and pith, and jaw, and teellti
And hair like heather cowes,
Wl' body long and low and strang,
At home to culrus or knowes.
He'll face a fuuunert, draw u brock, •
6111 ruts stud whiterits by the scure i
He'll bung tud-lowrle true his hole,
Ur stay Win at his dour.
He'll mage for days, and neer be tlreaL
Wer mountain, moor, or fell ;
Nair play, I'll back the brave wee chap
To fetch We de'll hlulsel'.
And yet beucutn his rugged coat,
.
A heart beats warm and true ;
He'll bell) to herd the sheep and WS
And mind the lammles• too.
'rhea see him at the hrgle side, .
With bufruies round him luuchin';
Was ever dog sae pleased as he,
Sue foud u' fuu and datfIn' "
But '-les your hand, u,y 1I101:111' man.
Uuld falth ! the -aunua sever ;
Thou, "Here's to Seotla's best u' dugs,
uur towsy tyke for ever."'
-Gordon Stables, M.D.
Greeley's Wrltlny.
There was only one printer who could
read Greeley's writing well enough to
put it in type. lie used to boast that
he could read the great editor's scrawl
it mile away.
One night the boys in The New York
Tribune composing-roour "put up a job"
on the old maul. They took two roost-
ers, made then, walk on a newly- inked
form, and then run till over 10 sheets
of copy paper.
The foreman wrote over it in Greeley's
well-known scrawl, "The Plain Duty of
Congress," and put it on old man Law -
ton's hook. I think his name was La,v-
ton, but it it was not It does not matter
much.
The old printer picked it up, swore a
little, remarked that they had to shove
the stuff on the old man as usual, ad-
justed his spectacles and began sticking
type.
The other printers watched him for
a few minutes, but beyond a muttered
oath or two he gave no sign. Lawton
went on setting type until about hall
way through the "Copy."
:rhea he sus stuck.
IIe took the copy over to the fore-
man, and asked :
"lack, what is that word ?"
"I don't know," replied the foreman
"You know I never could read that
stuff."
Lawton took tile sheet down to Greb-
ley, and pointed out to him a Particular-
ly awful scrawl of the rooster's foot,
asking what that word wits.
C:reeley looked at it a moment, and
replied with a frown :
"Unconstitutional, of course."
Lawton went back to the composml -
room, and finished his task with the ut-
most stung froid.
The. old man never knew how the
"copy" was produced.—Journal of Ede
cation.
. _-
Gladys and Her Wheel.
'It was'a windy day in March '
When Gladys got her wheel.
The sort of day when crimps need starch.
And many were the granees,arch,
When Gladys got her wheel.
The neighbors all looked out to see, !
When Gladys got her wheel.
Her wild gyrations toward a tree
Filled their unholy souls with glee, I
When Gladys got her wheel.
Nine little boys stat on the fence, I
Whcu Gladys got her wheel.
They saw her fall, with grief Intense,
Aud watched her ride, with joy imntensq,
When Gladys got her wheel,
But; little wort[ was done that day
When c;ladys got her wheel.'
F"Iks couldn't kelp their eyes away. '
And some Pett their was need to pray, '
. When Gladys got her wheel.
For, ob, the windwas bold and free.
When L;ladys got her wheel.
It blewhet over finally,
IS
.
And
Dr. Johnson got a fee,
When Gladys got her wheel.
-Somerville Journal.
I he Difference.
Old Mr. Newimp (who has made a =i, I- f�.l
gru.nd downstairs rush ane ejeetumnO.- \cbT -
I.cnp year, eh! It'll be sleep ye-ar :n
ire! Now, sir—Great Scott. If 1 1
fait t�t
haven't kickewl out my own daughter! �
(Tableau.)
The Professor's rove Story, - 7 /
An amusing story is told concerning l �� '>I.
Professor Duncan of St. Andrew's Uuk -7 a''�
vcnAty, who was, in his younger days, a /�i -i - •pJ y I
teacher in Dundee. The embryo pro. �� / /. ,tire
fe5sor proposed to a lady, who curtly re- _-"a.;M ,
fused him. Shortly afterward Mr. Dun- "NI'hat ou earth are you cluing there.
can became Professor Duncan, and the Dollie ?"
lardy heard no more of hint, Hot even by "Making it pig."
letter. "Seenis to ale you're making a litter."
Shortly after she went to St. Andrew's—Picic-:rte-Up.
to try the effect of sea bathing, She saw I
Duncan often, and he balked to her on Trouble in Billville.
every subject, except the subject she -ins Some of the Billville physicians are
now a.pparentiy intermted in, in trouble. The County Medical Board
At last she screwed up her courage, has decided to "haul them over the
and, corning to the point, said: coals" on the following charges :
Mr. Duncan, there was a subject you 1. Sawing it man's leg off in front of
once mentioned to me years ago, :in(, a window that opened on the street.
really I am rather surprised that you 2. Attending a man run over by train,
have never recurred to it, for I have in the presence of one hundred spm -
changed my mind since that time' tators.
The profeswu• simply rcmarlce'el: "Yes, 3, Attending sick newspaper man
but 1, too, have changed my mil 1,"— when they knew he would mention the
Answers. act as soon Its he got well.
4. Advertising in newspaper that they
Reflections of a Bachelnr. had moved their offices to Johnson's
Probably Delilah was afraid Snmson Corner, three blocks from cemetery.
was thinking of becoming an artist. -- 5. For telling editor of newspaper that
The rare -It but the mast itrvulnerahle medical science was advancing, an(] that
kind of inno(rnee fs the kind that comes they had their hands full (of bills).
from knowledge, 6. For general unprofessional conduct
If the devil had had to wear his lax, under above stipulations. And may the
summer's straw hat he would never have Lord have mercy on them 6—Atlanta
nmde a bit with Fve. Constitntion.
The pictures about little babies being I
brought to earth by angels are always Another victim.
palliated by men. Romantic Lover (to himself)—She has
A man n.s of thinks - his him Hutt refused me. She shall stiffer ! I will
a woman is a fool far rt -fusing him, and
generally he i9 right. darken her life at the cost of. my own.
All, be, proud beauty I You shall drag
Wrhen a man staters out ftshing far n through the coming years knowing that
woman he puts n dress suit on the hook a suicide's blood is upon your head.
and throws in some compliments for (Shoots himself. Curtain.)
loose bn,it.—New York Press. The Proud Beauty (reading from the
paper the next da Mr. A. S. S. Sort-
Ir.fermmtio� Withheld. head a boarder at Mrs, Slimdfet's board-
Kerrigan—Phat's g d for a cowld ? ing iionse, No. 3333;3 Avenue X, com-
Casey—IIov yez gotth' proice. uv two matted suicide last evening in his room.
)sot wbiakeys about yez? Ile had appeared unwell for several
Kerrigan—Of hov not. days. Thus one more case is added to
Casey—Will, thin, Kerrigan, at wild the long list of and suicides from Ira
be a mercy not V tell yez.—Pinch. grtppe,—New York Weekly.
•.,A�I
Financial, Ifo Was ont.
"Did yolt retail that magazine article Miss Footlites=Is the manager in? 7,
on 'Tile Working of a Bank?' " Office Boy—Naw. He's oat.
"No. Ia it by an ex -bank president Miss Foodites'—How do you know?
ar an ex-Eargla^•?"—diadnlluti Isingutrcr. 00ee Boy—I seen dd last week's state-
- famt.-Nm York Journal. .. ,_, , _ ...I
. .
. I _ e
y/[ . - � - •,
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