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The Clinton News-Record, 1898-11-24, Page 12a1141.0•1111•141111,4mistre40.••!11'►2 About the House,• ta'MN•N♦*N••••N•• *0e. STORIES OF THE SEA_e By EDWARD JI NKINS, M.P. Authgr of " Little Hodge," " Lord Bantam," " Ginx'e Baby," Ac. CHAPTER V. (Continued.) Th. two sailors scratched their he t�riud looked quizzically at that of tsoner. It resembles at the mo - Went one of those useful implements denominated a "pope's head with which housemaids are wont to assail .spiders and dust In the cornices of lofty rooms. There was not the fain- ' test symptom of a parting anywhere. Sinclair. It mought ha' been parted in the middle, don't ee think. sir ? (To the fourth officer.) Blackpool. Yes. All right, sir I Captain. "Large black whiskers, tn►orn a la Dundreary." Ambo. Right you are, Sir. " Dundreary, ye scoundrels! And who or what is Dundreary, does either one of ye know , " Captain. "Heavy moustaches." Ambo. Reg'lar Rooshians, sir! Captain. "Low forehead—big eye- brows—black shining eyes—long chin— prominent nose." How does that strik' you, Stackpoole? Stackpool. Like two bights of the same hawser. Captain. "Dresses handsomely in a frock -coat, or, when travelling, in a tweed shooting suit." They all look round the cabin. Mr. Stackpoole with a long, brown middle digit, indicates on the peg at the head of the "' prisoner's" berth a suit of grey Irish tweed. Ambo. True to a knot, sir I Capt'lin. "Large 'diamond ring on left little finger." Mr. Feet proves his hand instinc- tively, but the fourth officer is too quick for him. He darts tforward, Seizes the left hand, and there, sure •enough on the little finger glitters a large Cape diamond. Stackpoole. Diamond it is, sir, clear as the North Star. --- +i :;Powers above I" said poor Fax. "It's a plot to ruin me!" Captain. Prisoner, keep silence till ,you're fully identified.—"Very power- ful build—seems about 5 feet 8 or 10 inches in height." Ambo. Every word true, sir! Looks like a young hex! "Five feet eight, do ye say?" cries Mr. Fax, indignantly. "I'm five feet •eleven in my stockings, as live. Will ye have have me measured, captain?" Captain. "Good address and very gentlemanly manner."—Humph! "There they have me," interrupted the prisoner. "That and the diamond -are the only two points that are true to fact!" Ambo. Undoubted swell, sir t Captain. "Probably has a wound or bruise on his left eye." , Ambo. Left eye as blue as f.lue- Peter, sir 1 Captain. "Talks ixerman, French, and English." "Sorra a bit of German ever dirtied my mouth," shouted Mr. Fax, emphati- cally, Captain. No French either, eh? Fax. Mais oui, Monsieur le Capitaino a merveille. Captain. Iiia I Then that will ,do. Notice that, my men, speaks French like a Nantes skipper. 'Does he P' growls Mr. Fax in greater wrath thin ever. "Me, that the Em- peror didn't know from a French - , man." • Captain. Outside, there, fetch in the Irons! At, these words the unhappy rex, giving a roar that shook the cabin, 'made an effort to Jump out of his birth. But on the signal six or seven men . rushed in, and each securing a limb -or a portion of one, the luckless m'n lay completely at their mercy, still roaring with all his might. The riot alarmed the lady who occupied the purser's cabin. They could hear h'r giving vent to her anxiety in loud lamentat ions. "They're killing him?" she screamed through the thin partition. "No harm, madam; don't be alarm- •e,d," shouted the captain. Poor Fex—Corhoean 'was by this time - subdued and unconscious; and the •captain, leaving two sturdy sailors under the quartermaster to guard his prisoner, went off to his chart -room, with the pride of a man who had done his duty. 1 It was soon all over the ship among the officers and crew—the only peo- itle able to be about—that the murderer ad been seoured in the captain's cabin. once, when the steward who waited The closed doors and battered hatches allowed no air to penetrate below, and to the horrible awinging and shaking of the vessel was added the steady poisoning of the victims by confined and rebreathed air. It is strange that with all those resources of meohanical science which are available in the con- struction of these huge floating pal- aoes, no successful means should yet have been devised to produce between decks and in the gorgeous pabine, that most successful antidote to seasick- ness—fresh air. What are electrio no one will feel more eorry than he bells and gilded cornices to a vomit - that any friend of Lord Pendlebury'a ing ;°'animal ? What is the healthy shoould have been maltreated in his ozone of a deck rising and falling be- ehtween sixty degrees of variation from the horizontal, to a creature lying be- low, pitilessly turned upside down and inside out amid the smell of bilge wa- ter and cookery 1 Give us more air, my masters, more air, an you would have us reconciler} to the pleasures of the "melancholy ocean." The steerage—on the main deck be- low the spar deck— had been, dur- " Oh, pray let him hot regard me in the matter at all," replied Lord Pen- dlebui`y. " But you may perhaps know that Corcoran is a nephew of Lord Surnmerton, and of sufficient conse- quence in himself to demand the cap- tain's best amends." With that Lord Pendelbury ran off to his unfortunate mg the three days, a purgatory friend whom he found eye- in more senses than one. It was impos- ing his guards in mute horror, and Bible to rig up wind -sails, and the foul - listening to occasional groans and sighs ness of the air below prostrated many a which could be distinctly heard from sturdy constitution, Here, however, the purser's oabin. " Pendlebury 1" he cried. "I had en- tirely forgotten you! Only think of this. Accused, under the name of Cain, of murdering my brother Abel.,,Con- vioted of dyeing myself—my hair, my friend, ' that never knew a single hue that nature had not painted!' Cut down by an inexorable law to five feet, eight inches, which I haven't been since I was sixteen. Handcuffed by these ruffians—I shall never survive this 1 Whisper, my lord. Open that small box there. It's my medicine case. You will see a small phial, No. 28, marked strychnine. I always kept it when she was about, in case I should need it. Just hand it to me secretly, like a Christian friend, and say no more,' • No, Corcoran I I cannot spare you yet. You must last out this voyage, at least. Wouldn't the whole Castle go into hysterics over this! I sent off the old knight you bit so hard in the stomach yesterday, to arrange matters. He's a sly commonplace curmudgeon, but he may be useful. Remember, you must not claim vindictive damages' " Ten thousand pounds) Not a farth- ing less! They've bruised me all over; charged me with murder, dyeing, rob- bery—shortened my length, and per- haps my life." Never mind. If you threaten them with such penalties as that, you know it will pay to throw you overboard." This argument produced an impres- sion. "I say, Pendlebury," he said in a low tone. "Do you hear her, next door ? She has been going on that way ever since this happened. Curious eh? Is it possible she grieves? No matter, I'll never forgive her." Lord Pendlebury was a man of the world but he looked a little hooked at the collness of Mr. Corcoran. "You forgive her, Corcoran! Come now, that's too audacious! You for- get, man, that it all came out in evid- ence—though, God knows, I don't want to be hard on you—and that it was you who were defendant, and it was against you the Ordinary gave judg- ment." "Bahl" cried Corcoran, earnestly. "It all comes of your ridiculous Eng- lish justice. You try a case in six hours, and scamp it, while an Irish Court would take six days at it, and give arnple justice for the money! On my honour, Pendlebury, as a gentle- man, as I stand before God, I tell you there was not a word of truth in the charge • We had no children, and she had nothing to do but to watch and nettle me, and I was always more live- ly than discreet, but, as sure as I live; she never had any just cause to com- plain of me. Her attorneys were de- termined to win their case, end they got the 'proofs'—as they! call them— butthere was no truth in the charges." "Whew I" said Pendlebury. "Tout peut se retablir." "No, no ; she is married. I'm glad to say I'm relieved of the trouble of thinking about it." "How do you know'?' "What is she doing here? She must be travelling with somebody. That somebody is her husband." "Where is he then?" inquired the peer. "I don't know. I1I, on his back, in one of the lower cabins.—Ah I what's this now ?" Sir Benjamin Peakman and the cap- tain entered. The knight in his bland- est manner made the humblest apolo- gies for his errors of yesterday. The captain more awkwardly endeavored to make his peace with the Master in Chancery. "Captain," said the Master, with a grave face, "I'll forgive you on one condition. Do I talk French like a Nantes skipper 1 Am I six feet en Lord Pendlebury !took him hie''KAfght inches? Is my hair dyed? Do breakfast at the usual hour of nine, the *bole story, with many emhellish- anentn, was retailed for his benefit. To the narrator's surprise, the young lord laughed at the top of his trent. "Well, you are a yet of duffers 1" he cried. "Go and tell the captain to let the poor fellow off immediately, or there will be the devil to pay. That gentleman Is a friend of mine, a Mas- ter in Chancery in Dublin, and this is as; gtiod as two thousand pounds dam- ages to him! 0 dear, 0 dear 1 Cor - toren, you'll kilt me with laughing." The young lord having dressed him- self rapidly, his loud occasional guf- faws sounding through the thin bulk- heads, and exciting the greatest indig- nation among his neighbors at the untimely mirth, was on his way to the deck, when Sir Be,jamin Peakman eneountered him in the passage. "I have only just heard," he said, -bowing in his most conciliatory man- ner, "to whom I am indebted for the courtesy shown yesterday to my daugh- ter in very trying circumstances. I arta very hippy, Lord Pendlebury, knowing many of your friends, to make you acquaintance. Let me present mvnelf—Sir Benjamin Peakman." 'Lord Pendlebury bowed—rather alif- 1 y. "Pray, Sir Benjamin," he said, "do not take the trouble to teenythe slight der his care were an unusually large of theewels form a realistic imi- end very ordinary attention I was number for the season of the year and 'talion of the sca3ea happy to render to the young lady. I its invariably furious weather. They It is said that often as Queen Wal - hope [ fright. he Isanone emthe wwo if you will rse for her kept him busty at all points. Their, helmina varies her toilet during the cries, their tears, their adjurations, !course pf the day she is never seen excuse me, to my poor friend in the their oaths, their throat's, their ter -;without this chain, and innumerable captain's enbin, who has fallen .the rors—nil of which he would like to' are the explanatidhs, and even ro- a ridiculous serape, the result of our (ruin treated with contempt., but dared ' manoes, which have been invented to skipper's overzeal."not, for these people know bow to take ' account for a fact which may easily "'Your friend, Lord Pendlebury?" Iheir money's isot'th oui of the com- be asoribed to the beauty and value of gasped t'he knight. ponies—hrnusrht, down Mr. Crog in the ornament itself. Costly copies are "Yes, Mr!•Pefer Corcoran, an Trish three dnys from a etnte of breathless beginning to appear In some of the lVfaass whim trn(r'r'ba fiel ry, whoognito has taFk i, redundancy to one of breathless emnci-'shops in the Rue de la Pax, and pro- ntinn, and altered his colour from n mise to be very popular, you retract these and all other person- al reflections?" Captain Windlass, being more of n honest sailor than a man of the awl!, did not relish this raillery: but se: t oo'r off the irons with his own lends, and! Mr. Crog held on his way, overwhelm- ed by labor, whu^h was shared by a s'ewardess, Mrs. Crog to Hit, and by the doctor, a little man who, coming on board a very pale pink, had gradu- ally taken on the look and colour of a dirty piece of parchment. Unhappy doctor 1 He is the one man on the ship who cannot shirk his duty, and often the man least fit for it. When my Lady Peakman feels !that nausea defies all the coaxing arts of her maid, and all the faint ,resolu- tion she can .herself muster, the doc- tor must be fetched from bed, or board, or cabin, or steerage, to go through the idle form of prescribing agtln what has invarribly failed before, of trying to find an anodyne for the incurable. "What do you fancy, my lady?" cries the distracted medico, himself half nau- seated by the ferocious motion, and l:y constant observation of the symp- toms of the universal malady. "Something acid. Oh, my dear doc- tor, oo-tor, prescribe an acid drink—with something in it to support mei" " Lemonade and brandy?" " Ugh! Don't mention it I" She motions with her finger in a certain direction. " Champagne?" " Oh I gone long since I" (Fingers pointed again. "Have you tried She effervescent citrate of bismuth?" "Maria! here, quick! Doctor, you'll kill me. The mention of, it is enough." • • (To be Continued.) ( I MAJOR: GENERAL. SIR FRANCIS GR.ENFELL, There is only one Sirdar in the pub- lic mind now, and Sir Herbert Kit- chener is his name. But Major-Gen- eral Sir Francis Wallace Grenfell, G.C. M. G., K. C. B., was Sirdar of the Egyp- tian army from 1885 to 1892' and his excellent service has all the more rea- eon to be recalled now that the policy he inaugurated has been carried to culmination by his successor. Sir Francis, indeed, as commanding in Egypt, had bad the satisfaction of re- oeiving the Sirdar's reports, and of banding them on to the Home Govern- ment. He was born fifty-seven years ago, and he married, in 1887, Miss Evelyn Wood, the daughter of General Robert Wood, C.B. Hiumilitarycareer began in the 00th Rifles, in 1869• and he served in the Kaffir War of 1878, in the Zulu War of 1879, in the Transvaal in 1881, in the Egyptian Expedition of 1882, and the Nile Expedition of 1884. He bad his knighthood in 1888, and as Sirdar he commanded the forces at ••im in 1889, and was appointed In- , „or-Genernl of Auxiliary Forces, 14`ar Office, in 1894. there was a tear in the corner of his JEWELED BELTS. clear blue eye as he tendered his Nig fist to his quondam prisoner.! The "Dutch snake" may possibly be - "Faith, oaptain," said the Master, come the fashion of the hour and sup - "your metho3 of examination was ersede the golden hearts, enamel sham - 'cross' in more senses than one. If you rooks, luck beans and other devices were to transport that huge corpus of y yours into the Four Courts, and em- phasise your questions with those big fists as you did with me, there's never a witness could stand before ye. They'd swear anything you liked. However, young Queen of Holland is declared to I'm obliged to you. It's ten thousand have worn a long golden chain of pounds in my pocket. But now I'll medium thickness, which would per - pay ye good for evil. You say the' haps have escaped attention but for murderer is on board. I'll help you to deteot him, and when he's found we'll •the exquisite ornament with which it manage with him better than you did was adorned. This consisted of a with me." glittering snake some eight inches in CHAPTER VI. length, which was coiled round the chain. The head was formed of one Mr. Crog, the steerage steward, had gone through a good deal of mental magnificent diamond of extraordinary and physical exertion since the ves- brilliancy, while the flexible bods cen- se' lend eloped from Greencastle Bay !slated of a mase of brilliants, rubies in the manner he so graphically des- cribed to his new friend, Mr. Still- water. The four hundred people un - which at present dangle from the bangle, the neck and the watch chain. During her recent stay in Paris the and other precious atones so thickly incrusted that not a trace of the gold setting was visible, the various colors "A most important man 1" cried the knight with fervor, " But—I believe— he had—a—a--" "At for a divorce. Exaetly. And won ' t is to say," said the young lord. ,rtl ' in " the divorce was de - Creed. cl'eed. Ile was free from his wife," " And he is a friend of your," cried Sir .Benjamin, with effusion, " I have, !,q yon may he aware, a good deal of infuenee with the owners of these steamers. "Can I be of any service, do you think?" ' Well,,said the peer, drily, " pos- sibly, Sir Benjamin, you may to able to persuade the captain that he has done a very ridinulous thing, and that lith owners will have to pay handsome- ly for his blunder, unions ho can patch it ftp with Coreornn." y lord, I will sect Captnin Wind - leads tit once. 1 shall mak" a point of eorlinrx this matter right. fIe is, Ioan asju:•n you, an estimable fellow, and fine healthy rose -blush to n tint of tawny orange. To meet the fickle fancies of such a various charge, to IT'S VERY SUGGESTIVE, ANYHOW. soothe, to threaten, to nurse, to cheer, you've heard of mon that talked and to bully three hundred people who are rolling about in helpless terror and so fast their words fairly tumbled over misery, is not an occupation which one one another 1" said Mr, Hilltops, "Well would suppose to hold out attractions where I live we've got a Block that even to a performing dog, but there are men found to take to it, and not strikes that way, Bang -bang -bang - unkindly. Mr. Crog was ever vowing bang -bang -bang — taster'n you can when at sen that he would leave it, count. It didn't used to be so, it's tak- and ever when in port reversing his decision. en on this habit In the last few months. The storm which had been driving in the teeth of the gallant Eamsehat- kan for nearly three days began on the evening of the fourth day to abate. The wind shifted a point or two; the barometer, like a ' repentant spirit, took a turn upward. Hope spread from eabin to cabin, where most of the passengers hncl been the prey of ab- ject terror and inteleeible discolmf"rt, and now if I happen to hear it when I wake aP In the night( it startles me, always, I've never got used to it. I've wanted to put a break col it ; but Mrs. Hilltops says, 'Goodness, no 1 don't do that. If there's anything in this house that strikes quick, let it strike," " And now , I'm float Of wondering if ihnl is any reflection oiq slow, oom- forbible-striking me.. WON A BRIDE BY BRAVERY, 0 THE MAN WHO TRIED TO SAVE BARNEY BARNATO'S LIFE. Ile Jumped late the hew Brent a Fait atetng 8111p -For It Ile Cot au Amenity wad an Neurosa. The last act of Barney $arnato's life was to make the fortune of a young naval officer. The diamond king of South Africa, who had been the ruin and blessing of so many lives, prob- ably did not contemplate this result of his suicide when he leaped from the saloon of the royal mail steamer Scot, on the way from Cape Town to South- ampton, for it was almost certain death to battle with the high waves that were surging at the time. And out of the 1,500 persons on board the ship but one was willing to court destruc- tion for the off chance of saving Bar- ney Barnato, whom he barely knew. This was Mr. W. T. Clifford, fourth officer of the Scot, one of the bravest men and most powerful swimmers in the British merchant marine. His he- roin effort proved futile, but it pays to be a hero for all that, since young Clifford has just won for his bride a beautiful young South African heir- ess, who witnessed her lover's gallant action, and used it to win over an obstinate father. Mrs. Barnett), more- over, has settled a handsome annuity on Clifford, and his bank account is swelled to good proportions by sever- al testimonials of £500 each, the gifts of Johannesburg citizens and two steamship companies. All South Africa has been greatly interested in the outcome of Clifford's courtship, and the happy oulmination of it which is to take place in Port Elizabeth, Cape Colony, in December, will be the occasion for a town dem- onstration, and general rejoicing am- ong admirers of the brave young -Clif- ford. For some reason, the father of Miss Gertrude Rodney, the naval officer's pledged wife, had a dislike for Clif- ford, and objected strongly to his at- tentions which began on the voyage to England, when Barney Barnato was a fellow passenger, and several officers of the Scot told the writer, who made the trip out to Africa on that vessel just after the diamond king's escapade, that Clifford had performed his feat as much for the effect on Miss Rod- ney as to save Barnette. However, it was bravery of the most admirable kind, and the romance in it must be considered only secondary. CLIFFORD'S BRAVERY. When Mr. Barnato went overboard the Soot was steaming at the rate of seventeen knots an hour. The weath- er virus thick, and the summit of the peak' of Teneriffe on the Grand Can- aries could just be descried through the heavy at nosphere. It was imme- diately after lunch on a Monday and the captain had ordered full steam ahead in order to make the port of Fun- chal, Madeira, in twelve hours. Barnato, of course, was the cynosure of the ship, except for the fourth officer, who was so intent on making love to Miss Rodney that the eccentric diamond magnate gave him little concern. Ru- mors that Barnato -had been attacked wi(h delirium before boarding the ship and had tried to take his life three times, ware in circulation, but his health seemed so much improved that no one looked for whet was to happen. While warring on the saloon deok amidships, smoking a cigar with his companion, Mr, Solly Joel, Barnato, who seemed in high spirits, suddenly asked the time of day, wrenched him- self from Joel's arm and jumped over the rail. At this moment Clifford was bend- ing over Miss Rodney, who sat on a deck chair aft. At the ory of " man overboard" he ran up the steps lead- ing to the hurricane deck, shouted the alarm and tore off his coat. "0, Mr. Clifford," begged the young woman, " you're not going to jump overboard ?" But turning only to look at her for a second, the fdurth offi- cer, clad in negligee ehirt and duck trousers, made no reply, but took a long dive, while the Scot was rolling to starboard, and disappeared in the white caps. For some time he could be seen when plunging on the crest of wave, striking out in the wake of the ship, and then the hundreds of pas- sengers_who had crowded aft in such numbers as to almost endanger the vessel, lost sight of him. The rather cold and reserved Miss Rodney, in the meantime, had suddenly developed into a very fervid, though practical sweetheart, for after dash- ing about from one deck to another in a state of frenzy, she ran to ache davits where the sailors were hastily lowering a row boat and did what she could to aid them, as she thought. Before the ship could be stopped Dar - nate hid been left two miles astern and Clifford had swam nearly to him. The latter was pinked up firs(:, all but worn out. He bed been entirely submerged half of the time. CHIS ATHLETIC PROWESS. In spite of this tremendous exertion, Clifford on the return voyage, when the writer was n passenger, carried off I he honor at athletic games which are always the feature of a voyage on these steamers. The games last three days, and the prizes in money are suf- ficient to incite sarong competition. After winning the 200 -yard dash against very fast cornpony, and it is notan easy job to keep one's feet on a rolling deck, Clifford took part in the ob taele race, winning it by a small lead from the captain's steward. These two weee the only ones nble to finish, tbd other eight men becom- ing exhausted, for this mice is a sev- ere test of endurance, and only a per- son with it perfect physique enn coin- pete in it. The contestants were started off with' a pistol shot end giv- en first a 100 -yard dash, Then follow- ed sits hurdles, climbing the rigging, long jumps, hand over hand up ropes, a gauntlet through a file of sailors, each of whom held a three-inoh hose end half a dozen other unique obsta- cles. The rave wound up with a scram- ble through a canvas sack thirty feet long and four feet in diameter. There was a foot of water in the sack and outlets at either end. When a man gets through this he is generally about don for, But Clifford was barely winded, and emerged smiling. THI; ZULU SIDE STROKE, Ile ascribaa, his physical prowess to continual swimming when a boy along the African ooaat. Capt. Clifford, his father, was for et long time port cap- tain of bast London, end young Clif- ford was knneking about ships most of the time and learning trieka from the nmphibione nnt'iveR.' From the Zulu boys he learned a powerful side stroke which ho combines with the English broad stroke in fast swim- ming. When his father became a captain in the castle line steamers the boy was taken on as an apprentice and soon became a smart sailor. He joined the Uniolt Steamship Co.'s service as fourth officer the same month, and atter mak- ing four voyages in the Spartan was transferred to the Soot. It was on his third voyage in that vowel, when •on June, 1897, Barney Minato did the young officer such a good turn. Clifford is now 28 years old, but is looked upon as one of the most effi- ,oient officers in the royal naval re- serve. He is 5 feet 8 inches in height, and has shoulders so broad that they seem entirely out of proportion to the rest of his body. Sunburned to n vene- tian red, and hardened by the wind and the waves, be locks it typical sea dog, and when togged out in the nat- ty uniform of a naval officer is a'hand- some and striking figure. With the for- tune that will soon be in his oontrol he could abandon the sea and become a gentleman of leisure, as his fiancee insists he shall, but England is not likely to allow a naval officer of suck intrepid courage to become buried in private life. Modern Marriage Market. A book written by a quartet of well known English women on the ever -in- teresting subject - Of marriage has cre- ated a sensation in London. The title has been changed from the antique one of "Advice to Those About to Marry" that has done duty for so long The new book comes into the literary field under the name of "The Modern jMarriage Market," and it certainly is causing a greater amount of talk and encountering a fiercer amount of cri- ticism than hny market volume ever printed, The writers are women prominent in England, and their names are suffi- cient guarantee that the! book Le by no means an ordinary volume. The quartet e.1 writers are Lady Jeune, Mrs. Flora Annie Steel, Miss Marie oreili, and Susan, Countess of Mal- nesirury. There bas evidently been no "getting together" of the distinguish- ed authors for the purpose of compar- ing notes before writing the book, for the opinioua differ widely, and the writers do not hesitate to speak their minds freely regarding the writing of the rest of the fouu•. One fact concerning the book that has been seized upon with avidity by its critios is that the only one of the writers to take Cupid in her arms and pet the little god, is Miss Marie Cor- ' elli, who is also the only unmarried one of the four. This strikes the Lon - 1 don critics as being a peculiarly rich bit of irony, and they are making the most of it. Miss Corelli refers with lofty scorn to the ideals of some of her unmarried friends, and has such' ad- , vanced ideas on the subject herself that it seems a pity that she should ever spoil these by a practical exper- ience of .married life. Miss Corelli's view is expressed in this statement: "I want you to refuse to make your bodies and souls the traffickable ma- terial of vulgar huckstering. I want you to give yourselves ungrudgin]y, fearlessly, without a price, or any condition whatsoever, to the man you truly love, and abide ty the results. If love is love Indeed, no regret 'can be possible," The other .three, Lady Jeune, Mrs. Steel and the Countess of Malmesbury, undertake to set each other right in the condescending way peculiar to the high-born British dame, who patroni- • zes the world with unruffled good nature and is seldom disturbed in her self-oonceit. "Lady ' Jeune," says ;Susan, Countess of Malmesbury, "writes from the practical standpoint ' of a womp.n who has a wide and inti- mate knowledge of the special class which she describes, but she confines herself to do' that alone." Mrs. Steel, again, is snubbed by the same con- ' tioversialist who told that she is "more conversant. with the matrimonial al- ' fairs of our eastern than of our west- ern sisters." The antagonist that Miss Corelli finds most worthy of her steel 'is the lady of that name, Mrs. Steel takes 1 the stand that marriage as the most ordinary busincsa of life. Mrs. Steel looks at the world of etoinen through 'lorgnettes that have been turned on much misery, matrimonial and other- wise, in their time, and the conclu- sion she arrives at is this "Compare it the love match with the position which our present system condemns, which nine. out of Len women would be ashamed to confess. I do not ex- pect intense personal gratification but I wish to marry, to have a home and children to take my share in. the glory and toil, and here is my ,chance. If you come to analyze this, you will find not only that it brings with it a far higher ideal Of life; but that it - leaves us with something more of a foundation for marriage than a mu- tual physical and mental attraction; an attraction which the individual exper- ience of nearly every man and wo- man in the world teaches thein is evanescent," It is only right to say that the com- monsense critios side with Mrs, Steel. However much it may grate on the sensitive nerves of theromance-hunter, it is felt by the majority of people in England that where the cboosing is left to the man, and the girl has no voice in the mal ter until she is asked to use her voice —in saying "yes," or "no"—that the girl is apt after wait- ing a reasonable time, to any to her- self: "Here, if I don't accept the first offer that comps along I shall be left in the race altogether." So ,she goes to the altar with) a man for whom she hns little regard, and, the novelty of marriage gone, she is left with noth- ing but the !nveless life. As to the poor man who is carried off in this unprincipled manner, the four Indies who write "The Modern Marriage ' Market" are silent. no seem; to have I been left out of their calculations al- together. The man's side of the ques- tion Is now awaited with interest by those who have read the woman's ad- vice to women. REVERES HIS MEMORY+° Inside Queen Victoria's boudoir at Windsor Castle, inscribed in gold let- ters over the doorway, are the words: "Every article in this room my deep- ly lamented husband seleoted for me in the twenty-fourth year of my )reign," And carefully preserved under a gloss shade lies the Queen's bridal wreath, by the side of the withered re- maina of the first bouquet presented to Her Majesty by the Prince Consort, COLD DESSERTS. A Dish of Snow. — Heap a grated cocoanut up in the center of a, hand- some dish and ornament with pretty green leaves or ferns. Serve it up with snow cream, made as follows: Beat the whites of five eggs to a stiff froth, add two large spoonfuls of fine white sugar, a large spoonful of rose- water, peach of pineapple flavor. Beat the whole together, add a pint of thick cream. Put several spoonfuls over each dish of cocoanut - Orange Souffle.—Peel and slice six oranges; put in a glass dish a layer of the orange, then one of sugar, having two or three layers of each. Pour over this a cold custard made of Ione pint of milk, yolks of two eggs land � one-half cup sugar. Beat three whites lo a stiff froth, stir into them three tablespoons of sugar and pour it over the custard. Orange Water Ice. — One quart water, one pound sugar, the outer rind of one and the juice of three pr four oranges. Strain into can and pack ice and salt around it, and freeze and scrape it down until it is suffi- ciently frozen. Cream and Orange Pudding. — Stir one pint of thick sweet cream with three yolks of eggs and three table- spoonfuls of sugar. Put ft layer of bread crumbs in the bottom of a pud- ding dish, fill with the cream, then cover with more bread crumbs. (Bake half an hour; when done, spread the top with thinly sliced oranges, and over these a meringue made from the whites of eggs, brown lightly. Surprise Lemons.—Surprise Lemons are an attractive novelty for dessert or a luncheon. Pour a quart of fresh cream into a vessel; pound 2 ounces of sweet almonds and a few bitter ones with 12 ounces of sugar; sift through a sieve .and put it into the cream, adding 2 gills of maraschina and 4 ounces of candied fruits, cut in quarter-inoh squares. Tint it to a soft pink, then freeze. With this frozen Dream fill some large lemons that have been emptied. Tie with delicately colored ribbon, lay on fern leaves and serve. Tea cream.—Put one ounce of , the beat tea in a pitcher, pour on it a tablespoonful of water and let it stand an hour to soften the leaves; then aunt to it a quart of boiling cream, cover it closely, and in half an hour strain it; add four teaspoonfuls of strong infus- ion of rennet in water, stir it, and set it over some bot ashes and cover. When you find by cooking a little of it, that it jellies, then pour it into glasses, and garnish with thin bits of preserved fruit. USES FOR KEROSENE OIL. Kerosene oil is ,good for many things besides fuel and lamp oil. It should always be substituted for soap in cleaning sbellaoked floors. Use a cupful to a pailful of lukewarm water —hot water spoils the varnish — and wipe with a floor mop or a soft cloth. After scrubbing oilcloth, if a little kerosene is rubbed on it and rubbed dry,' the colors of the oilcloth will be wonderfully freshened and improved by the process. For removing rust nothing is equal to kerosene. If the article is badly rusted pour the oil into a pan and lay with the rusted surface in the oil so as to cover it. Leave for as long as may bet necessary for the oil to penetrate the rust; then wipe off, and polish with sand soa,p, or rub with bath brick, ac- cording to the article to be cleaned. When your lamp chimneyii are"'smok- ed newspaper, wet with kerosene, 1s much better than water for cleaning them; and after they are washed the same medium polishes them beautiful- ly. Only be very careful to rub all the oil off before using the lamp or it will have a bad odor. The objec- tionable odor so often noticed with lamps and oil stoves Domes from oil, which is spilled in filling and left to dry, instead of being wiped off. On washday, cutup a quarter of a cake of soap into the wash boiler, and allow It to dissolve., which it will do by the time the water comes to a boil. Then stir in a teacupful of kerosene and put in the sheets, towels, pillow- cases, etc.—that is, the clothes which are not badly, soiled. Boil for fifteen or twenty minutes, stirring frequent- ly. Then rinse, rubbing them out In the rinsing water -to wash out the soap. This is 1 the washing they need, and you w Il find them all clean and ready for the blueing. The kero- sene dissolves the dirt and whitens the clothes without injury to the fabric. Kerosene oil is also an effective re- medy for burns—fully equal to linseed oil. It contains the remedial qualities of vaseline, but is a much less sooth- ing application and the odor is, of course, objectionable HOW MUCH SHALL BE IRONED. Ironing is a duly that vexes the soul of many housekeepers, more especially in the warm season of the year. It is hard for the careful housewife, brought up in the old fashioned way, to adopt, new and easier ways, but times and customs change, and we have to consider that in the rush and bother of this high-pressure age some cus- toms must be set aside and many things left undone, if we would have lime left for culture, recreation and social duties. The careful and con- scientious housewife needs to discrim- inate closely between the essentials and non -essentials of housekeeping and homfemaking. When we first became a partial convert, to the non -ironing system, it provers a wonderful salve to an accus- ing conscience, when a friend told the of a noted physician, who had given express orders that the sheets, pillow Blips, and undergarments of n patient, under his care, should never be iron- ed. He stated that the atrengthen- ing healthgiving properties of sun- shine and fresh air were destroyed by the 'use of the hot iron, A careful oversight of laundry work will soon oonvinee the moat painstak- ing housekeeper that very much of the family washing may be made smooth, sweet and clean without the wearisome labor of ironing, In the first plane, alt clothes should be hung evenly upon the Line, and then pulled straight , acid smooth; t hots that are to be ironed, as ,well all tiro* that alto not, and it is better if they can be eft out over night, that they may get the benefit of the dew as well as the sun and air. Those that must be Ironed may be taken down while 'they are still damp, folded smoothly, and laid in the baaket ready for the iron,whils the others may be left on the line till midday, when they will be thoroughly dry and ready to be put away. Sheets may be tak- en from the line, folded evenly and piled on a table, a board and weight placed upon them, and they will look quite as well and be far sweeter and healthier than if ironed. Kitchen tow- els, dish towels, and many other small pieces, as well as all knit underwear and stockings, may be treated in the same manner. This will greatly ligh- ten the labor of ironing day. Table lines, napkins, and teey-clothe need to be well ironed, also pillow slips, drletssee, aprons, and all searched things, The busy housewife may be thankful that much starching is a thing of the past, as prints, ginghamo, and other cotton goods should only be slightly stiffened, but if one must wear white skirts one may starch them to her heart's content. Many women launder men's shirts nicely at home, but it is generally Netter, in the long run, to send th1em to the laundry, as no one but a pro- fessional can attain the desired stiff- ness and polish; the cost is compara- tively small and the work hard at the best. An ironing -board, a lump of beeswax, and a duet of borax in the starch, make ironing comparatively Deasy. TO CARD, FOR LFNEN. Linen must be washed with care to properly preserve it; the best soap must be used. It must be rinsed free from this in hot and then cold water in great plenty. After it is dry and ironed It must be aired for a whole day, preferably in the sunlight, and then put away in chest or closet perfectly protected flora damp. Dampness and soil are its only enemies. The English make a soaking water of one tablespoonful of soda to four gal. Ions of water and put the linen in the necessary quantity over night. FLASHES OF FUN. The evil that men do lives after them. the good they publish while they live, If you pass your college examina- tions. I'll pay all your debts. Why, uncle, do you want me to work for the benefit of my creditors? Your replies are very tart, said th0 young husband. Then he hastily add. ed: But they are not as tart as those mother made. Mr's. Good—My poor man, are you married ? Soiled Spooner—No'm ; I got dis hunted look from always bein' chas- ed from plane to place by de police. Folks dat insists on habbin' dar own way, said Uncle Eisen, runs a good deal o' risk in not habbin' no one ter blames when fings goes wrong. Wife—What would you do if you had no wife to look after your mend- ing, I'd like to know ? Husband—Do? Why, in that case I could afford to buy new clothes. • Do you approve of compulsory edu- cation? Well, said Lite man who had settled down late in life, it is about the only way to learn the value of a dollar. Five-year-old—Pretty iselul, ain't I, mamma ? Yes, dear. Almost as useful .as a man? Em, ye -es. I don't mean Santa Claus, or God, but any ordinary man. How about the children? asked the inquisitive neighbour. Oh, said the man who had married again to get a moth- er for his little ones, she doesn't mind them at all. One Objection.. McLuhberty — Oi'd loike to take a trip around the wor- ruld. Mrs. McLubberty—Sure ; thot wud' be foine ! McLubberty—Yls ; but t'ink av dthe cost av gitlin' home ag'in I She—But how can you think I'm pretty, when my nose turns up so dreadfully'? He—Well, all 1 have tory is, that it shows mighty poor taste in backing away from such a lovely mouth. In Confidence —Friend—Some men are remarkably ungrateful after you have had them elected. The Boss—Yes; the moment some men are elected they begin to think they did it them- selves. Dramatio Note—Wright—I believe a good deal of human interest could be put into r play with the scenes laid in a pawnshop. Reed—My dear boy, the interest in a pawnshop is something absolutely inhuman. Sunday School Teacher—Why, Willie Wilson, fighting again? Didn't last Sunday's lesson teach that when you are struck on one cheek you ought to turn the other to the striker? \Vil- lie—Ycs'm ; but be hit me on the nese, an' I've only got one. Placed No Great V.rlut, on the Vic- tims.—Philanthropist—Do you believe in capital punisament, may I ask? Cy- nic—I certainly don't. Why, how's that/ Because i never yet met a man that I thought it worth while hanging an- other for. Moike, phot do yez I'ink nv 1!t ; se- am of gawrf the duides do be play:n'? Oh, of suppose iL is all roighlfor thim dudes, nn' it gives the caddie -boys a chance In corn a bivin', but whin it comes to the shpor( av it, it's too loike hnndlin' a pick for me. Not Like Other 1'niks.—Mrs.Gnswell —The Emperor of Germany is taking 102 trunks with him on his pilgrim- age to Jerusalem. Mr. (lnswell—I sup- pose his wife is with him. '.firs. Gnswell Yes; the empress' elet hes are in the two odd trunks. A \fuse Doctor.-1"uller--fir•. Nomad told Tibbs that. drugs would net help his complaint, and recommended nut - door exercise on a wheel as being I he hest thing for him. Butler—The line, is simple to throw business away like that. Fuller—Oh, T don'( know : he charges double rates for surgical vis- its. He had been Thinking deeply for sev= oral Minutes. 1 cannot ngree with the poet, he said finally, when he bewails the fact that we otnnol see ourselves as othere set us. I think he has it all wrong, How would you ehange it? she asked. Why, T think we should rather ask for the power to make oth- er's see un as we Eire ourselves. I've dont, my best, said, the Indian, to adapt myself to the modern civil- ization. But 1 enn't manage it.. You go about it the wrong way, nnswered the sympathetic white man When you feel that old impulse for a wild collision with somebody what you want to do is to come off tho war pat h n url get nn the bieyelo path.