HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1894-12-19, Page 18s
THE BUSINESS OF JOKE -MAKING. ADVANCED PHOTOGRAPHY,
New York lite Center of a Floneheiee
Hnetaeaa.
The business of ,joke.maltir g and
short -verse writing Is a trade in itself
and has its center tart New York. In al
most every city or barge town there aro
one or two bright wits who have crack-
ed some exceptional jokes which some
comic paper has printed and paid for.
In many a place there is some local
punster whose efforts are the i)ride of
his narrow circle. But only in New
York does this work center itself.
tiV'hott I speak ofjoke-writing its a busi-
ness, witty some I meta it literally,
There is a coterie of about forty
writers. most of whom live in
New York, who do nothing but write
for the comic papers. They do not wait
for a happy inspiration, but make the
inspiration demo to them. They write
jokes and verse for their living, and with
some of them it is a very good living
indeed. Those aro the, lieu the conn c
papers depend pon ter inost of their
material, and at hast ton of thorn make
from $40 to $80 a week "just joke -writ-
ing." Some of these aro well known to
the general public front their names
over verses or short sketches. L'ut
some of thein again, who writ.: merely
short "squibs," are known only to taw
editor.
It is no unc'Onmem thing for ring one
of these men to tura out front fit'ty to
two hundred jokes (branl. n u, ii•ar-
ranted nut to fade) a wool:, n"d ten Lits
of verse. The professional joke -writer
frequetltie' sits down' without an idea in
his head. Sonne turn of speech ':Onhes
to hien—he writes down his joke on a
small rectangular slip of paper, just the
size to slip into an envelope coavdnient-
ly. That, joke, or his train of thought,
suggests another, and on he goes until
in two hours he may have written
twenty-five jokes.
Then the business part of it comes in.
By a system of special bookkeeping, he
enters the head of each joke in a book,
and places opposite the title the paper
to which the, joke is sent. As a general
thing, he will put the twenty-five squibs
which he has just finishedinan envel-
ope with an "addressed and directed
envelope" inside, and start the package
on its journey around the world of
humor.
He sends it first to the paper which
pays the highest price, and then in re-
gular order from weekly to weekly,
until he has exhausted the list and got -
ton down to where they pay as little as
fifteen cents perjoke—a starvation price
for the professional humorist. Suppose
the first paper to which he sent the
package took three jokes. When the
others came back, he checks off the three
as "taken" and "paid for,"if the paper' in
question pays on acceptance—and most
of them do to the leading writer. The
rest he sends to the second paper, which
may, perhaps, take four. The remain-
ing jokes are again checked off and the
package started again. There are as
many as twenty-five papers and periodi-
cals which pay for original jokes, so that
the humorist has an excellent chance of
getting rid of all the jokes of a series at
some price. Of course he is continually
sending out new batches to the first
paper on his list and thence to the
others, so that his name and his humor
are constantly before the editors.
The Infant Napoleon.
There is a later myth, which recalls
in detail that when the pains of parturi-
tion seized his mother, she was at mass,
and that she reached her chamber just
in time to deposit, on a piece of embroi-
dery representing the young Achilles,
the prodigy bursting so impetuously
into the world. To the man himself,
and to the world, his nature ,was the
product of the hour. When in banish-
ment at Longwood, and on his death•
bed, he recalled, the circumstances of
his childhood in conversations with the
attendant physician, a Corsican like
himself : "Nothing awed ane ; I
feared no one. I struck one, I
scratched another. I was a terror to
everybody. It was my brother, Joseph
with whom I had most to do; tie was
beaten, bitten, scolded, and I had put
the blame on him almost before he
knew what he was, about; wag telling
tales about him almost before hs, had
begun to know hirnse'f. I had to be
quick; my mamma Letitia would have
restrined my warlike temp 'r; she
would not have put up with my defiant
petulance. Her tenderness was severe,
meting. out punishment and reward with
equal justice; merit and demerit, she
took both, into account."
Of his earliest education, he said at
the same time : "Like everything else
B
Buonaparte,
it was pitiful." Lucien
n naparte, hiegreat-uncle, was a
canon. a man of substances (5,0'30 livres
a year) and of some education—educa-
tion sufficient, at least, to permit his
further ecclesiastical advancement.
"Uncle" Fesch, whose father had re-
ceived the good education of a Protest-
ant Swiss boy, and had in turn impart-
ed his knowledge to his own son, was
the friend and older p'aymates of
the turbulent little Buonaparte.
The canon taught him a few
notions of Bible history, and doubt-
less, also, the essential catechism ;
from his eleven - year - old un-
cle he learned his alphabet. In the
sixth year the child was sent to a (lance's
school. The boys teased him because his
stockings were always down over his
shoes, and for his devotion to the girls,
one named Giacommetta especially. He
met their taunts with blows, using
sticks bricks, or any handy weapon.
According to his own account, ho was
fearless in the face of superior numbers,
however large. Of French ho knew not
a word; he had seen lessons at school in
his mother tongue.—Prof. Sloane's New
Life of Napoleon in the November
Century.
The Impulse of Sueclde-
Is the impulse of suicide curable ?
Not directly. It dep 'nds on family, on
race, on the strain of that competition
which marks our advancing civilization,
Of these the two first are ineradicable.
though doubtless capable of being
modified in the course of generations
through judicious marriage. The third
is, for the mass of men, unattainable;
yet individuals who know that they
have an hereditary taint might, of their
own free will withdraw from those oc-
cupations which rouse the nervous sys-
tem to abnormal excitement, and even
at the sacrifice of some of the world's
goods, lead wholesome lives, which
(Would give the murderous instinct less
chance to conquer them. Physical
weakness, especially that resulting from
over -strain, betrays and weakens the
control over the mental flaw. 'Tis the
old story the mons sana cannot per-
manently dwell except in the corpus
swum—Hospital.
Ito Use an Depleting Svelte# on the Ocean
neer.
A short time ago a Frenchman
brought himself to the notice of scion•
tific naturalists by undertaking an ex•
pploring toter of the Red Sea, from which
he brought back a strange and curious
collection ,of fish and shells, embracing
several specimens entirely unknown.
Continuing his rusenches on the coast of
France, he assumed a divers costume to
observe at the bottom of the sort the
• inetamorplhos's of certain mollusca itn.
possible to cultivate in aquaria. He was
struck with the wonderful beautjr of the
submarine laudscnpes and resolved to
photograph what he could, since a sim-
ple description would savor too much of
an over -vivid imagination, At first he
worked in shallow water \viol it water-
tight apparatus and the clearness of the
water allowed him sufficient light to
sensitize the plates, but proportionately
as the depth increased clearness diinin.
ish:'d and the motion of the waves
clouded his proofs.
Then the young scientist conceived
the idea of utilizing magnetism in an
apparatus of his owls invention. This
apparatus consists essentially of a bar-
rel filled with n' vg,'n, and surmounted
by a glass b, 1: o11taining an alcohol
lamp. On the fi Imo of the lamp, by
means of a me.rhenical contrivance,
powdered inagneti•111 is thrown, fierily;
as often as a view is taken. The bar-
rel is pierced with holes on the lower
side in such a manner that as the oxy-
gen dinaiuishes the sea water enters, so
' preserving the equilibrium between ex-
ternal and interred pressure. I3eautiful
submarine photographs, taken on the
very bed of the Mediterranean at Ban-
yuis•ser-Mer, near the Spanish border,
have been produced in this way.
Hardly a day passes now but now and
important photographs are produced by
cameras of ever-increasing power. New
stars have been revealed that were
heretofore obscure from man. It is dif-
ficult to realize how far these worlds aro
from us. Otte of the most popular and
eminent lecturers on astronomy is Sir
Robert Ball, who uses simple and gra-
phic illustrations to give his hearers
ideas of magnitude and distance. For
instance, he says, going at the rate of
the electric telegraph—that' is, 18 i3Oo0
miles a secorld—it would take seventy--
eight years to telegraph a message to
the most distant telescopic stars. But
the camera has revealed stars far more
distant than these. some of which, if a
message had been sent in the year A.D.
1—that is to say, 1,894 years ago—the
message would only just have reached
some of them, and would be still on the
way to others, going at the rate of 188,-
000 miles a second.
Itnesinu Pickpockets,
One day, at the dinner -table of a
grand duke. the French Ambassador
extolled the dexterity of his fellow -
countrymen, as exemplified, among
other things, in the cleverness of the
Paris pickpockets.
"I should not wonder if the St. Peters-
burg pickpockets could give them a
start," replied the grand duke. And
seeing an incredulous smite play around
the features of the Ambassador, he ad-
ded: "Will you bet that, before we rise
from the table, your watch or some other
valuable will not be taken from your
person ?"
The Ambassador accepted the wager
for the fun of the thing, and the grand
duke telephoned to the chief constable
asking him to send at once the cleverest
pickpocket he could lay his hands on.
The latter was to receive the full value
of every article he managed to "annex"
and be allowed to go unpunished.
The man came and was put into liv-
ery and told to wait at tableawith the
other servants. The grand`I;tt keke told
hien to give him a sign as soon as he
had accomplished the trick. But he had
to wait a long time, for the arnbassa•
dor, whose watch was the article to be
experimented upon always kept on the
alert, and even held his hand to his fob
when conversing with the most distin-
guished guests at the table. At last the
grand dupe received the preconcerted
signal. He at once requested the am-
bassador to tell him the time. The lat-
ter triumphantly put his hand to his
pocket and drew forth a potato, instead
of his watch. There was a general burst
of laughter in which the ambassador
himself joined; though with a wry face,
for he was unmistakably annoyed. To
conceal his feelings he would take a
pinch of snuff—his suuff-box was gone.
Then he missed the seal ring from his
finger, and lastly, the gold toothpick
which he always carried about with him
in a little case, Amid.tho hilarity of
the guests the sham lackey was request-
ed to restore the articles. but the grand
duke's merriment was changed into
alarm and surprise when the thief pro•
dnced two watches, two rings, two
snuff-boxes, etc. His Imperial Highness
made the discovery that he himself had
been robbed at the same time.—Das
Nene Blatt,
Tannage on Heredity.
Now, the longer I live the more I be-
lieve 111 blood—good blood bad blood,
proud blood. humble•blood, honest blood,
thieving blood, heroic blood, cowardly
blood, writes the Rev. T. DeWitt Tal-
mage in the December Ladies' Home
Journal. The tendency may skip a
generation or two, but it is sure to come
out, as in a little child you sometimes
see a similarity to a great-grandfather
whose picture hangs on the wall. That
the physical and mental and moral
qualities are inheritable is patent- to
anyone who keeps his eyes open. The
similarity is so striking sometimes as
to be amusing. Great families. regal
or literary are apt to have the charac-
teristics all down through the genera-
tions, rind what is more perceptible in
such families may be seen on a smaller
scale in all families. A thousand years
have no power to obliterate the dif-
ference. The Targe lip of the house of
Austria is seen in all the descendants,and
is called the Hapsburg lip. Tho house
of Stuart always gleans in all genera-
tions cruelty and bigotry and sehsual-
ity. Witness Queen of Scots, Witticism
Charles I. and Charles II. Witness
James I. and James II., and all the
others of that Imperial line,
Scotch biood means persistence. Dutch
blood means cleanliness and good breed
ing. English blood means reveernce for
the ancient. Welsh blood means religi-
osity. Danish blood means fondness for
the sea. Indian blood moans roaming
disposition. Celtic blood moans fer-
vidity. Roman blood means conquest.
Tho Jewish faculty for accumulation
you may trace clear back to Abraham
of whom the Bible says. "Ile was rich
in silver and gold and cattle," and to
Isaac and Jacob, who had the some
family characteristics.
DASH OF THE CHEYENNES.
Hew Young Warrtora Plundered wagons
of a 1i'rolglttunll Onret,
"Talking of bad Indians, the ones
that make Olio most trouble are not the
old warriors,said the veteran plains
freigbhter, as be smoked his pipe at the
hotel ()tat) at Eldorado, IKan. "Those
have made their reputations and got
wives and polities, and have little to
Gain and much to loco by going on the
warpath against the whites. With the
young buck the case is different. He
wants plunder for a start in life, and,
more then that, he wishes to nualco a
game for himself in his tribe. So he is
always ready to start hostilities, and
will tape desperate risks to capture
scalps or horses.
"This brings me to an attack by In-
dians upon a freighting train, made up
of wagons drawn by six -mule teams,
that was traveling'' in company with
mine from Kansas City to Deliver in the
early sixties. It was done in such a
way and was so unexpected to; to be
almost laughable, although it cost the
outfit eighteen good mules, some
freight and a good deal of bother in re-
pairing damages and getting straight
again.
'At this time the Indians were at
peace with the whites, so 110 trouble Was
looked for from theme, We had come to
a creep prairie ravine with a good-sized
stream flowing along the bottom of it.
My train was in alit lead and had got
across the gulch to tho high prairie be-
yond, while the last wagon of the other
outfit was in the bottom, just pulling out
of the stream.
"s\Ve hadn't sate) an Indian or it sign
of one for weeks, and as they were sup-
posed to be friendly, nobody was keep-
ing very much of a lookout, There
came a tremendous yelling that made
every man in the rear train juinp, and
round a bend in the bank. 15e yards up
the creek, came about twenty•five young
bucks in war paint, whoopingandshak-
ing blankets' to stampede tate mules as
they rode their ponies on the dead run
for the rear wagons. The rearmost
teamsters jumped to the ground and
ran for the head of the tram. The Lt,
diens paid no attention to them. but
went for the last three wagons. While
an Indian jumped to the seat of each
and caught the reins and whip, others
seized the mules' bridles and helped
turn thein down the creek. Before the
teamsters ahead could fairly realize
what was going on the Indians had rust
the mules and wa tons into the water a
short distance be ow. While some of
them unharnessed or cut loose the mules
others overhauled the freight, taking
.whatever struck their fancy.
"Ther° was no escort along and but
few extra men, so, of course, the first
thing to do was to get the other wagons
out of the ravine as soon as possible. By
that time the Indians had plundered the
captured wagons, and, driving the
mules ahead of them, were off, safe
from any pursuit that we could make.
The teamsters sent a shot or two after
them, but were too badly rattled to do
any execution.
`When I saw by signals that there
was tronblo in the rear, I formed my
wagons in a circle and sent all my
spare men back to help the others out.
All the help we could give, however was
to lend a hand in getting the wagons
out of the creek—one of them was upset
—and pulling them out of the gulch.
There they had to be abandoned, to-
gether with as much of their freight as
the Indians had left, until we could get
to a station where more mules, could be
bought to send back to haul them in.
This delayed the other train a week,
while I kept on, and the Denver firm to
which my goods were consigned held
the market at their own price during
that time.
"Wo never got any trace of the robber
Indians or their plunder. All that could
be known about them was the report of
the badly scared teamsters who saw
them. By that we knew that they were
Cheyennes, and very young bucks, some
of them being boys, apparently not
mord than fifteen years old.''—New 3 ork
Sun.
Russian Tax on Amusements.
Russia has probably the most unique
tax in the world. It is called the
"amusement tax;" and was instituted
about fifteen months ago to found an
institution for the poor under the name
of the "Empress Marie Foundation."
Tho tax is laid upon every amusement
ticket sold, and the managers raise the
price accordingly. Already nearly
1,000,000 roubles have been raised in
this way (a gold rouble is worth 77
cents and a silver rouble 60 cents), of
which St. Petersburg contributed 200,-
000 roubles. All cities except Riga are
merriest in December and January,
and the dullest in February and March,
on account of Lent. Riga prefers to
have its fun in August. Our govern-
ment taxes whisky and tobacco because
they are regarded as luxuries. Russia
treats theatre -going and club life as
luxuries.
Elephnnts be the Teak Yards.
To any one for whom machinery has a
fascinataton, there is nothing stranger
than the first glimpse of elephants at
work about it. Alnidst the hissing'
swish of belting, the buzz of saws, the
multitudinous separate rattles mingled
into a universal roar, and vibrating
through a big sawmill, the ponderous
figures of these slow-paced helpers pre-
sent a curios; sight. One elephant
places the log upon a movable platform
to be squared, while another waits with
restless eyes and flapping cars until
the saw has (lone its work, and
then taking a twist in an at-
tached rope, slips the loop of it deftly
over a big tusk, and leads the log
away. Another piles lumber, lifting the
long piece between tusks and trunk,
end pushing it into place with the latter,
if the pile is low, or with a broad fore
head, it the (height demands it. Fetch-
ing and carrying, lifting and stacking,
pushing and pulling, these (smile and
patient giants do) their work without
complaint, week in and week out.
Sometimes thc4 mahout (oozee it is in
Burmese) walks beside the beast, some-
times he sits on his big neck or broad
back. But his Indolent figure never
seems to be necessary, for one cannot
watch an elephant at work very long
without acquiring• the conviction, how-
ever mistaken, that the intelligent direc-
tion of his labor Is all his own.—The
Century.
The Soni of Frankness.
Mr. Boetleson--Would you like the
date put in our engagement ring, dear?
Miss Beryl—By all means ' and then,
if there's room, run in seine little motto
like, "Any port in a store', ," or " A bird
in the hand," or something ,pretty like
that.—Leslio's Weekly.
LL LADIES
-- DMIRE THE BEAUTIFUL.
And that is why the elegant Stock of CHRISTMAS
GOODS just received at
Are creating such a sensation in Clinton. A look at
our Windows will convince you. Novelities of
all kinds to make your Wife, Daughter Broth-
er, Sister and Friends happy for years to come.
Call early and select your presents.
LADIES' and GENT'S Gold, Go/dfih/ed and Silver
WATCHES.
Gold Spectacles and Eye Glasses.
FINE WATCH REPAIRING A SPECIALTY..
J. BIDDLECOMBE
�---Watchmaker, Jeweler and Optioian.—
ESTABLISHED
1855.
SEA MONSTERS IN BATTLE,
Alligators Overcool., by 13Ig Sharks la a
Plena, n Determined Fight, •
"The strangest sea fight I ever saw or
heard of," said a statl'olticor ot'the navy
to a New York Sun reporter, "was a
battle that raged ort' the I'aeitie coast of
Mexico between sharks and alligators.
Between Manzanilla and Colima, a dis-
tance of eighty miles, there is a large
lake of blackish water, the .bed of which
is several feet above the sea. This lake
was filled with fresh water lisle and
reptiles of all kinds, and the alligators
that suhiierl themselves on its banks
often attained a leegtlh of twenty to
thirty feet. They were very fierce
when aroused from their 'accustomed
lethargy. The barrier separating tate
ocean from the lake is a high sand trunk
which, though nothing more than a
mere spit of land, had. been, prior to
this time sufficient to confine the
waters of the lake. But a heavy
windstorm from the north ast blew
the water of the lake down to
the south and west and piled it
"up so high as to drive it over the levee
or dam. Atter a short time a crevasse
or sluice was formed, allowing the lake
to drain directly into the ocean. Tho
rush of water from the lake increased,
the sluice became broader and the 300
square miles of lake surface fell lour
feet. Millions of fish CA 111 pouring
through the crevasse with the water
and with these the enormous alligators
for which the lake had become noted.
"The sluice was fifteen feet wide
when we reached it. We stood on one
of the banks watching the enormous
outrush of water and fish. The latter
had attracted the numerous big sharks
of Manzanilla Bay, and they had col-
lected by hundreds to gorge themselves
with the dainty morsels supplied 111
such an unlooked-for manner. The
alligators, lass intent, p.rlhaps, upon
the fish than upon the rush
of waters, which was carrying
them on, were met by the ebarky
the moment they carne out into
deeper water. There the sharks rushed
furiously at the more slothful alliga-
tors, and at once the battle began. 'r ho
alligators, of course, labored under
many disadvantages. Although croco-
diles are oftenknown to sefin out to sea
and spend whole weeks in salt water,
the alligator is not found in the ocean.
Five or six sharks would attack each
saurian as he carne out, not giving the
alligators an opportunity to form them-
selves into a muss tor concentrated
attack or defence.
"Each fish and reptile seemed to
understand clearly the character of his
antagonist, and the powerful tails were
brought into requisition as often as the
immense jaws. While the alligators
were more slow to more than the
sharks, the tatter were obliged to turn
over on their backs before being able
to bite with any effect. This gave
the alligators a chance to get away
and bring• their wiry, horny tails into
taction. Although the hard, bony
armor of the alligators prevented them
from turning and swishing their tails
around as rapidly as the flan, often they
could dash forward and snap a shark
before the fish could turn on his back to
bite or get away. Of course the armor
of the alligator, though impeding his
movements, was efficacious for a time
against the blows and bites of his ad-
versary. But after a while the constant
sharp snapping of the shark tore it
away uit uy- lilt, aha nnany wttn a furl -
Os rush the huge shark would fix its
sharp teeth in a good grip and crush
through a vulnerable part of the alliga-
tor as if the armor were an eggshell,
The wnudertul strength of the alliga-
tor's jaw cache into play, and time and
again sharks were thrown almost out
or the water.
"The fight was carried on upon the
surface of the water over an area of a
quarter of a mile in plain view of the
people on the bank and beach, and from
our position we could see many of the
movements of the huge animals. ' Sev-
eral alligators were thrown upon the
beach during the struggle, tore and
horribly maimed, so that they di :d
in a very few minutes. The whole sur-
face of the ocean in the immediate vi-
cinity was churned to foam by the
lashing of the long tails, while here and
there a reddish tinge in the water show'
• ed where the combat waxed fiercest.
For half the day we watched the battle
until at last the - level of the lake went
down, the volume of water coming
through the crevasse. -decreased and no
more alligators were seen. Tho foam
on the surface of the ocean became less
and less, until at last only the occasion-
al swirl of a shark's tail showed where
some of the alligators still struggled, or
where the huge fish were still struggled,
among themselves over the disintegrat-
ed carcasses."
"Gent" In Not. Modern Slang,
The word "gent" nowadays seems to
wear its cocked hat on one side of its
head, and t0 walk with a caddish swag.
ger of• vulgar self-importance. But
know a worthy old lady in the country
who calls her husband the "old gent,'
using it as a title of respect, and such it
was in her childhood and long before.
In 1754 the Rev. Samuel Davies, erten
ward president of Princeton College,
traveling in England, describes the
Rev. Dr. Lardner as a "little pert old
gent," epithets that would net be flat-
tering t0 a Inillietcr to -day, nor even
dignified for a Minister to use•. "Pert'
here had the sense of "lively"—peach
as a Kentuckian alight UFO "peart,""
or a New Englander "perk." In-
deed, I suspect that Davies g ave
the word the sound of "poart." That
Davies used "gent" its a terns of respect
is shown by his characterization of an-
other reverned doctor ns "a venerable,
humble and affectionate old gent." It
will not do therefore, to account a word
recent because of its slanginess. When
a smoker professes fondness for the
"weed," he does not dream that he is
using an epithet applied to tnhaeen by
King James I. in 1620. and that nearly
200 years earlier than 1tulcs, in the
reign of Edward IV., the hop.plants
just coming into England wis cane('
"the wicked Weed." Whet plant had
worn this title of contempt Int'eri' the
hop I do not know.—Edward Eggleston
in The Century.
Seems of 1110 Sea,
Another typo of warship i4 to be add-
ed to the British navy in the "fleet
cruisers" ordered ter next year at a
cost of $1,000,000 apiece. Thov aro to
be 270 feet in length, 40 in brendth, with
a draft of sateen feet; their engines
must develop 10,000 horse power, and a
speed of twenty-two knots. The arma-
ment will consist of quick -firing and
Maxim guns and Whitehead t(n'p•'dnes
only, as they are intended mainly for
scouting ser vice.
ruVGHT AND KILLED THE EAGLI;
Unexpected Plunk Shown by a Settee
Dog in I),fenee of a Itaby.
"A strange accident happened neat
Georgetown, 0., a week or ten days
tree," said William S. Bre,dley at the
Cochran to a Washington Post reporter.
"lent in the suburbs of elle town the
little child of a man named Kincaide
was playing with a large hunting dog,
who was very fond of the little One, and
was looked upon as a sort of guardian
se the child in the mother's absence. A
leg eagle suddenly swooped down on the
little 0110 and seized it in his talons to
carry it off. The child was too heavy for
lien to lift, and before he could make a
second attempt the setter had fastei1
his te•'th in the eagle's bo ly.
Now, it is an extremely` rare thing
for a setter to fight gnaw.+ liu
is crowded, but his fondness for the
chikl made him conquer his dig nature
and sail in like a terrier. The mother
heard that child's screams and rust •d to
its aseistailce,wliile the dog and tin bird
were taming the yard into something'
resembling a slaughter nen. It must
have berm a terrible fight. It Iasi el
several minutes, but finally though
frightfully lacerated, Polito got the bit
of the king of the air and gave him his
(quietus. One eye was hanging out of
tete dog's socket, and his lett Shoveler
WAS nearly tarn otl'and he received some
:rightful wounds in the belly, but the
eagle was. quite as badly used up by the
ring's teeth. The gallant animal is still
living, and with the care he is receiving
at the fiends of the child's father rued
'nether, and in tact the whole f'runih',
ther,i is 40111,1 hope of his recovery. Tile
strangest part about it to rine is that this
was done by a setter. 1t' it had been a
hound or a terrier it wou,dn't have sur-
prised neo."
Ile Knew the Law.
Miss Sumner (co ttettishly)—Now, in
dear old England, Mr. Parke, it is the
custom for a gentleman to I1is4 any g'ir
leo finds under the mistletoe, I believe
Mr. Hyde Parke (siding toward th
door)—Why--aw—yes! I believe it 1.
the cu+ton ; but—aw—it's not compul-
sory, you know!
Christmas Conscience.
Let no pleasure tempt thee, no profit
allure thee, no ambition corrupt thee.,
110 example sway thee no persuasion
novo thoe to (10 anythlnq which then
knowest to evil ; so shalt thou always
live jollity, for a good conscience is a
continued Chrismas.
•