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The Huron News-Record, 1894-01-24, Page 2et. Woneertat T:tee. . Thsl'tt e a el/referee tree, t► wopdertui tree„ The happy children reloteed to Meer. Npre!adinftf64 branches sear by year; tpao ee from the foreigt..o doetiah hero• oh, thio Wogdettut, tree, with ttlr brsnehes !elle„ 'Is; elw, aye, Is. 'demi biteentect et'ChrWttuwtida, Rana ter us Children did thio tree grow, Waith !te etrabige, tweet, fifth Pan snob belen *eight sot tilsSs we torn wehgse rade altit Bare Mach pretty.. thing you whinging, thea, Ji thlsilro;►dertul tree, with ata bettiehes wide, piing oy to our Mende • At A as gist de _ n" tt #'ora. votes Is telling its houghs among 01 tht ehephetd's watch and the angel's tong; Ota holy baba in the manger tow-. Tee beautiful story of long s;o When a radiant star Threw its beams so wide, To herald the blessed Fist Christmastide. Then spread thy branches, wonderful tree, And bring the pleasant thought to me Of Rim who canto from Ilia home above The richest sift of Ria Father's love. >, Havana* to show us how To spread far and wide The joys of the holy, Swept Olirletuiaside! —From Songs and Games for Little Ones. THREE IN ONE. I am a woman ? To be sure. And a writer? So I am called. And you have successfully played the parts of two persons beside yourself? Yes. Though unintentionally at first. I will tell you how it happened. I was living with my family in Paris. T was 18, and at the age of 11 I had made my first appearance in public print, I was by this time not quite a Cryo in the journalistic profession, which was then my recreation between music masters and painting teachers, and the rest of those people who go to make up the sum of a young girl's edu- cation. The charm that newspaper work pos- sessed for me then was alike one of the literary bent and of. the secrecy with which j chose to conduct my caccethes scribendi. I wrote under another name than my own for home papers and magazines here iu America solely, until finally one day I suddenly decided that I would try my fortune with—what, think you? Nothing less than Figaro itself. But a womanly non de plume—that deterred ane. I feared; I hesitated. Should it be boldly, then, my own name? No, and at mice I selected a short, oriep, yet euphonious and wholly likely masculine cognomen. I wrote my copy address and sent it to M. Jules Deese moir, the well-known manager of a cer- tain department of Figaro. I dated the accompanying note from my own home, and forthwith took my family into my confidence as well as the butler and housemaid, who night be likely to answer the postman's call, or the con- cierge's inquiry for "Count Karjak," I waited. Not long, however, for in the next but one Saturday's issue of Fi- garo, lo and behold! was my story. Not only this, but my amused father, on turning over the paper, held up to my astonished and somewhat terrified gaze the announcement that "M. le Comte Karjak, a distinguished Russian now visiting Paris for the first time, would probably be Induced to contribute to these pages certain other of his impres- sions to follow those most entertaining and unique ones contained in the present 'number.' • How they all laughed about the table, as with flushed cheeks I sat speechless in bewildered amusement ! I was then a Russian ? Very good ; to that I bad no objections to offer. Rus- sians—great, big, brave, blond fellows, speaking our English and my family's French so well—were indeed nay special adoration. So, when a note name the next morning, inclosing a check for 150 francs (which I indorsed "Karjak," and my father reindorsed and got the money for) and asking if I should be pleased to furnish further articles on the agreeable theme of French society and manners as contrasted with those of my own coun- try, 1 replied very properly that I would da so. My own country ! Russia? Decided- ly the name had misled M. Dessinoir. Very well, it made little difference. Since I had become a man, I might just as well be a Russian man as any other. So I accepted the situation, and throw- • ing myself mentally into the little of my supposed native country with which I was acquainted, and dilieently begin- ning at once to cultivate all the Russian people and Russian books that I knew of, I felt myself present quite a Slav and commenced to discover that I had a predilection for all the magnificent bi- zarries and delicious incompatibilities of the women—I mean the men 1—of that fascinating race. I sent iu to M. Dessicoir regularly for four weeks the 'Impressions of Karjak" and received in return my 150 francs; besides which I had the pleasure of see- ing him as well advertised as any jour- nalistic writer ever is by the French custom, which is a widely different one from ours. Presently, too, at my mother's weekly receptions, was heard mention of Kar- jak. Who was he? Dld we know? Did I know? Since I had been lately in Russia perhaps I had. something to tell of him, his personality, age, estate? And one young and beautiful woman even went so far as to tell me in confi- dence that she was much taken with his style, his thoughts, his wit, humor, esprit and half Russian -Tartaric way of looking at the amenities of Parisian social life. She declared that she bad made up her mind definitely to know him; that M. Dessinoir was an intimate friend of here, and that be had promised her only that very day most faithfully that ho would use his best endeavors to bring the Comte Karjak to her next evening at home. 1 said to her "How delightful 1" and I thought "How dreadful ! What will M. Dessinoir do?" and then all this pass- ed out of my mind tis I caught the drift of the conversation of two literary men who stood on the other side of me. "Oh," said one, "he is a novice, that is too evident. Still your Karjak is enormously clever, Slav au bout des ongles—a little raw and barbaric still." "You are mistaken," returned the other. "I am convinced that this new light in our Figaro is a man of experi- ence, considerable age, and perhaps • tired out with what is called the 'world.' " I turned away. The situation was too much for me. I rushed over to my young friend, Pauline A., and took re- fuge in discussing with her the gown I wad next week to wear as her brides- maid at Notre Dame de Loretta. Two days later came my usual "en- velope from Figaro, containing, besides the customary check, a note from M. Dessinoir. inviting me, most courteously, to "a little breakfast which be was about to take much pleasure in giving in my honor et the (Jafe Bignon, on any day { that I would Iftt fo tiontieeoalidlgg AP; to wintioti' • In icy honor,. The Oaf* Bi icon 1 1 Almx t n �ipirar 1).0.1cd bstw#en laughter. and ,nerienta.Ma.1 pit nen to paper, nun Pessinple, theta- dimegti it b0?ee"a sudden Pall igte the snubry tiskimportant 4neineae Waultt deprAyo mo of the. infinite pleas. ore." And, forsesing.a °ppaaiblq further step toward M. Deasigoir's fulfillment of bis promise to my pretty. friend, I also d d thatto a was h d ba fora aes a.ei rI etre perhape 1* "being the bettor plan fo writers not to become personally known p ed'tore,'" etc. In to time reetnrned the expostulation of A'i'l Debsinoir. "Ah, my dear fellow," wrote he, "you are making a rank mis- take, Many men of nate are already de- sirous of meeting you --even a cumber of lovely women have signified to me their willingness to encounter the au- thor Of your "Impressions." Pray, you, roCodaider,' and give Isle a great honor IA happiness," i< beeatilo quite cold. A species of ter- ror seized upon me, as I consulted with Aly mother, and finally our conference terminated in my writing a temporizing but not atrall convincing reaponse. Decldadly, if this was being a man, I devoutly wished that I had never be - Wino one! A fortnight passed without events, at least so far as Karjak was concerned, and I had begun to console myself with the reflection that he had been forgot- ten amid the pressure of other mon and matters, Alas! not ao. • On a certain Thursday a messenger arrived bearing a note from M. Dessinoir— "begging that I would accede to his invitation for breakfast to- morrow. He took the liberty over my modesty of naming the day himself—at the Cafe Bignon, to meet M,M.A.,B.,C., C., respectively, of four of the moat popular Parisian Journals." • Mamma was out paying visits; papa had gone to Versailles for the day; my cousin was painting in the Louvre; what should I do? Seizing my pen, I wrote—was it in- spiration or some emanation from less divine sources ?—thus, "that my wife being very ill, I was compelled to de- cline," and adding to this wholesale statement the most profound regrets and sorrow deeply dyed I Very good. I slept in peace that night, having confided to my family not only the fact of my being a man, but that I had lately married, and now pos- sessed a wife My MS. went as usual a day or two later. In the evening, my pretty friend was again at our house. "Alas," she said to me, "I have had ill news, M. Dessinoir tells me that my adored Karjak is—married." "Verily," I say ; "so I have heard." "But I do not believe it. I will not believe it. I assured M. Dessinoir that he must prove It to me." "And?" I interrupt breathlessly. "He has sworn that he will do so." "How?" I inquire, I atn sure turning pale. "He has vowed to call upon Karjak and finally to see his wife." I lived hereafter for some days in a kind of nightmare, trembling at every knock and ring. At last it came—the card of M. Dessinoir. I held my brow. My knees shook beneath me. "Say to the gentlemau," I gasped, "that M. le Comte is absent from Paris." In a few moments Jacques returned. "Would Mme. la Cowtesse then do monsieur the honor to see hint for a mo- ment only? A matter of business and importance—some part of the late MS. of M. le Comte had been unfortunately lost," Decidedly M. Dessinoir Intended to keep his . vow. Mamma was out, of course; I drew myself up to as great a height as nature's 5 feet Ise would allow, and sailed majestically, I hoped; out to meet M. Dessinoir. Since I was a man, and a married one, then also let me be my own wife, siuce fate so willed. We met as became two well bred per- sons. M. Dissinoir explained. Mme. la Comtesse knew nothing of the literary affairs of her husband; while regretting his inability she deplored her stupidity. M. l'Editeur was charmed, yet chagrin- ed of course at not seeing M. le Comte. Altogether we both delivered our- selves of many compliments, and M, Dessinoir then begged me to use my wifely influence to induce my gifted husband to make himself known to his many admirers, and gracefully made his exit. I was a man ; also his wife. I had been addressed as madame. Very well. The following evening chanced to be that of a great reception at the American embassy. Although of course not yet "out," I was allowed to go as a great treat, and in my gown of white over yel- low, with yellow roses and some lilies, I had long since, in chatting with a hand- some young English attache, forgotten both Karjak and his wife, when I raised my eyes and perceived advancing •to- ward me the daughter of our hostess, leaning upon the arm of M. Dessinoir. I did not•sant or scream. I stood like a block of stone. I had never thought of this horrible possibility. She presented him to me with due ceremony, calling me her "lifelong friend and schoolfellow." M. Dessinoir, although at first dispos- ed to recoguize me, embraced the situa- tion and routed the young attache, and —quietly begged me the favor of my autograph in his pocket album. I became scat let. I took the offered pencil from his large, white hand, and trembling I wrote for him as he watch- ed me with amused yet not cruel eyes— the name of "Karjak ?" We aro the best of friends imaginable, M. Dessinoir and I. He sometimes calls me '`dear little fellow" and reminds me of the time "when I was a man." So I have given you one of the many experiences of my comparatively brief Mjournalistic career.—Fannie Aymar atthews in Peterson's Magazine. curious origin of a wire. The other day a heavy delivery wagon backed up in front of an Eighth avenue (New York) furniture store. The smoothnes9 and slant of the asphalt gave greater momentum than was ex- pected, and the hind wheels struck the curb with a crash. The contact of atone and iron drew out sparks. Some of these flew into a wisp of packing hay and soon gave. forth smoke and flame. A bucket of water subdued the blaze ; but, as a fireman remarked, it was 'an interesting object lesson on one of the mysterious ways in which serious fires sometimes start.—Scientific American. A Butcher stop in Marble. The museum of antiquities at Dres- den has come into possession of an in- teresting mettle relief from Rome, ,which represehta an ancient butcher shop, of oblong shape, and divided by a pillar into two equal parts, The flower*, tree dead, the tt'ees art leale TheceeP *tilt et atom; 3o frosty Hostas winter air Ifs Put tbqug4 the re net thee !s 4 Ills cold ,r'y love, My heart is warn( for th.e,1; What sorrow eau it hold,, Al love, I1 thou be true to rpt.• ei thga be true to me! The dead are "oxen In the mould, The rime fa on tee tomb And blow It hot, or blow a (old, They'll know the day of Boom. Bnt though the frost 41low, in love, fo0. My heart is warm for thee, Whet sorrow can it know, my love, So thou be true to me. $o thou be true to met 1 met my friend upon the heath, I (raved hie favor high; But up his sword sprang from its sheath, And anger from his eye, But what though friends forget, my love, lily heart remembers thee, And can nor tear, n;,r fret, my love, While thou art Grua to me, While thou art truo to me? -Louise Morgan 13111. THE SLIPPER TRICK. This varnished dancing pump was slipped off the foot of an exquisite youug man at a reception at one of the leading salons of Paris. My eminently correct readers need not turn up their aristocra- tic noses at the vulgar lack of delicacy betrayed by my exquisite young man. Let him among you who dogs not adore a dainty foot oast the first stone. Octave Latournelle—that is my exqui- site young man's name—was not only a perfect dancer ; he possessed not only two very nimble legs, but two very nim- ble hands, whereof the adroitness was the admiration of all his friends. In- deed, the most expert conjuror wonld not have been ashamed to own him for a pupil. At his word of command watches passed from one pocket to an- other, gold coins vanished into thin air, flowers grew upon him as if on a magi- cal bush—he drew them forth from his pockets, his sleeves, his waistcoat, his cravat, in quantities sufficient to decor- ate the corsages of all the ladies present, and this after having, by way of pream- ble, turned his pockets inside out, rolled up his sleeves and opened his waistcoat. In a word, he was the enchanter of the best drawing -rooms and the spoiled child of the ladies. Perhaps, rattier to an the spoiled child, he considered himself the petted dal•• ling. At any rate, he was in love, and he made that fact known with the auda- city that often gives success. The object of his adoration was the young wife of General Pascalon—it is only the husband's rank that restraius me from mentioning the disparity of their ages. But all generals have young wives, which is only another proof that the truly brave do not recoil from dan- gers of any kind. It is traband should be jealous, but Goneril P:ascalon was not so. But, if he was not an Othello, neither was he a fool. Trusting to the loyalty of his young wife, lie cherished no illusions, He enjoyed many a Palais Royal farce—with his wife by his side, more often than not, which was im- prudent, perhaps—but he also' escorted her to balls, never pleading his age as an excuse, and waited patiently for her until alter the cotillion; and to all ap- pearance his wife was quite content. Perhaps she was so. But there were plenty of youug fellows who would look down at you from. the higli superiority of their 25 years if you ventured to ex- press such au idea, and say: "With an old fellow like that! Really, you are too refresliiug." The general was not to be laughed at. He knew his danger, not only before all the world had seen it. but before any one else suspected it, and he saved his honor like a man of intelligence—which, indeed, he could have done in no other way. And this brings us down at last to the varnished slipper of the exquisite young man. I have said that the affair took place in the midst of a reception. Dancing was going on in the larger rooms ; the general was chatting with some of the older guests in a sinall room adjoining the one set out with card tables, He happened to glance carelessly toward the players and started suddenly in sur- prise. "Bless me," said he, putting up his glasses, "there's my wife at a whist - table. I certainly thought she was waltzing, or polkaing, or something, and there she is playing whist, She must be very tired, for sue never plays cards and is always dancing. I shalt have to scold her," he added, with a laugh, "for in- dulging herself so much in her favorite pleasure that she has to do penance at the card table," and he strolled leisurely toward the players. A jostle knocking his glasses from his eyes as he reached the whist -table, he stooped to pick thein up, and saw be- neath the table a slipper, a patent - leather pump, from which its tenant had escaped, and now, shod only in flue blaoe silk hose, was lovingly cares- sing the little foot of the general's wife• But he also noticed that the latter con- stantly avoided the foot that so persis- tently pursued her own, "Hum," said the general,taking in th'o situation at a glance, "the fortress is at- tacked, but it is wedefended. I have arrived just in tune," Then, smiling calmly as if he had seen nothing, lean- ing over his wife's chair, questioniug at 1 advising her play, he devoted him- self to a feat that would have furnished a dramatist with an irrestibly comic theme, considering the difficul- ties of the situation. The general had undertaken to draw toward hini with the tip of his boot the abandoned slip- per, provoking every instant sudden jerks from jostled feet, protestations from disturbed players, astonished looks from those who could see the exraordi• nary movements of his leg, and the re- monstrance from his wife "My dear, what makes you knock my chair about so ? You are giving me a headache," At this moment the mistress of the housecame up to ask Latournelle if he would not perfornf some of his amusing tricks. "Certainly, I shall be delighted," he answered, nervously, preoccupied as he was by the extraordinary movements of the general, who stooped kown just then, as if to pick up something, and immediately got up and left the group, "Well, sir," said the lady, "give me lour arm, and I will introduce you. Your audience is growing impatient." "Certainly madame, in just one mo- ment," said Latournelle, feeling with his foot for his slipper, and so recommenc- ing the remarkable jig executed by the general a few moments before. Now the other players .laughed outright, which they had not dared to do the first time. And the mistress of the house stood there surprised at being kept waiting so long, and wondering how much longer the escort would keep her in that attitude. Impatient ladies came In pl►ools to add 'their solioitatlone to thee° of their hostess, Uur yoang man positively had to get out of . the maim, MOO eelnebpw. Ie .did get out Of its but with only ono eboe, torr he nlso hag ltooped.down and di8!0rermi. the diem: pflee marvel iof nn deep anxiety, howahe Wail going tq .bxplaiouch a anxiety, of af. fairs. Ms one shod foot provoked general hilarity, then delighted applause and cries of "It's a trick 1 It's somo trick!" The petted darling of the ladies smiled a weak smile and stammered. "Yea, ladies—At is a (tick," Applause, accompanied by a general clapping of hands, greeted this annouce- ment, while Latournelle kept saying to himself : • "Oh, yes, it's a groat trick, but some one bas played it on me, and I don't find it so funny. If I only knew who it was" —then, struck with an idea—"heavens 1 If 1t could be the general—hie singular performance lust now --and I saw tum stoop down—if it was really he, it would be a pretty uncomfortable joke for ane. How can I make sure?" As he escorted the lady through the rooms he tried to get near the general. He managed to do so, and with the brick of his hand he cautiotisly knocked against the pocket of thegeneral's coat which he supposed contained the slipper there was nothing there ! He tried to sound the other pooket, but a slight move on the geaeral's part carried him out of reach ; to touch it it was neces- sary to pass around on the side where it was. "Where in the world aro you taking me?" demanded the lady on his arm, "Whp=-or—to the head of the room," and as be was now on the right side of the getooral he wanted to try the other pocked Here, was a new obstacle that he had not forseen, The fact that the lady had the arm nearest the general made any attempt at exploration im- possible. He offered tate other. on the pretext of the old wouud which was paining him, and was able at last to repeat his former tactics. The; time he was satisfied. "It's there," he murmur- ed, and he did not enjoy the reflection that the husband of his adored one had discovered his manoeuvres under the table. "Well, I'm in a pretty mess," lie con- cluded. Everybody had crowded into the room, there was an expectant rush, and all were on tiptoe for the promised trick. There was no way to retreat. "Here goes," said the imprudent lover; "I must take the plunge, come' what may." And he plunged. "Ladies," he said, "I have lost my slipper. I have not got it concealed about my person ; my pockets are empty"—he turned then* inside out— "nor is it in my coat"—he held it open— "nor in my waistcoat"—he uubuttoued it—"nor in my sleeves"—and he turned then* up to his elbows. "You see, ladies, I have nothing in my hands or my pockets. I must find out, thea, where the lost article is. Nothing is more simple ; I have only to make a slight cabalistic calculation." With this be covered his face with his bands and assumed an attitude of profound cogitation. Then, without removing his hands, he counted : "Ono, two, three, four, five. My slipper," he cried, "is in the left pocket of the sixth person to my right," This person was the general. "Not bad l" the latter exclaimed, under his breath ; and in obedience to the universal cries of "Search yourself, search yourself, general," he drew the slipper from the pocket indicated. A storm of a.pplauso was evoked by the brilliant success of the trick. Then, after much whispering, several voices cried : "Oh. the general is his con- federate." "Yes, yes," came a chorus of voices; "he's a confederate." The conjurer protested. "Do it again tlient" some one demand- ed. And everybody took up the cry : Yes, yes I Do it again 1" "Oh," said a lady, "the general has just been whispering to M. Latournelle." And the cry went up again that he was a confederate. The general affirmed that he was in no sense furthering the conjurer's de- vices. "But you were just now whispering with him," insisted the witnessed of the conference. "The exact truth is this, ladies: You asked the conjurer to repeat his per- formance, I just this moment told hint that it was one of those tricks that should not be tried a second time—did I not, sir?" said the general significant- l'"Precisely, general; and I shall follow your advice," replied:Latournelle. "It shall not be repeated." And it never was.—Translated for The Argonaut. CURE FOR DIPHTHERIA. Coat Oil Looms Up .!gain as a Friend to Mankind. A new euro for diphtheria recommend- ed in the New York Independent, may be of service. It has been successfully employed in France for the cure of true diphtheria. It consists simply in ap- plying with a camel's hair brush or throat swab a small quantity of coal oil to the white spots in the throat. The oil seems to destroy the bacteria growth at once. The article reads as follows: "The membrane of diphtheria consists of a most rapidly growing plant, and among the other elements in petroleum is a large amount of sulphur, which is very inimical to diphtheria membrane. At once the membrane seems to become thinner, that is, ceases to grow, and that which has attained its growth breaks down under the softening of the oil, and eventually disappears. The person applying the oil should be careful to stand a little to one sideso that should the patient cough no particle of the expectorated material can get into the eye of the operator, as the human eye is of all culture mediums for diphtheria bacilli about the moat favorable. There should not be an ex. cess of material on the brush, as a drop too much might strangle in the disabled condition of the throat and larynx." This is probably a familiar cure to the medical profession, but it may be of ser- vice where professional help cannot be at once obtained. Literary Societies in Winter. Literary societies in winter are valu- able in enabling the members to ex- change experiences and "ideas." A great many subiects could be discussed, and it will be found that some of the mein - hers can impart valuable information. Road making, taxes, breeding of ani- mals, fertilizers, drainage, manure mak- ing and other important subjects, should keep an association busy during the win - tor. WIL$ON dt 11.010V'E.have bought the good«will and interest, In the,Maker$ rec.antly carried on lis !kir. Er. McLennan, in addition tq. tele Restaurant carried on by :Mr. James Anderson, and have amalgamated the two businesses, The combination will be carried on in THE OLD STAND! IN SDA.RLD'S BLOCK; and will hereafter beknown as TOE NOVELTYBAKERV AND RLFS TAURANT. Mr. McLennan will he our baker. Bread of surorior quality will be delivered as usual, and $read, Oakes, ecc., constantly kept on hand and' soldonly at the Novelty Store. We solicit the patronage of all old customers and ma y new ones. Wilson 40 Ilowe - Cling NEURAl61A,PLEURISY,SCIATICA CURED EVERY TIME AND RHEUMATISM CURED THEN "D.&ME MENTHOL FLPSTE us�o. L9: PAINTER AND POET. , Thank Dempster Sherman, in Harper's Weekly. To one God gave the brush, to one the pen, And theirs the blest endeavor to impart In rhyme and color to the world of men Some of the loveliness of Nature's heart. A REGULAR CHURCH -GOER. Pillar—Very glad to see you here old Iran. I had an idea that you never went to church. Bakpue—Oh, you're mistaken. I at- tend regularly. "Not here?" "Yes," "Islit possible.1"' ete"Yes, sir, every Christmas."—Detroit Tribune. • AD • TALES TWICE TOLD. WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER ? That cheerfulness can he cultivated, is well illustrated by the story of a lady and gentleman who were in a timber yard, situated by a dirty, foul- smelling river. The lady said : "How good the pine boards smell 1" "Pine boards!" exclaimed the gentle- man, "just smell this foul river!' "No, thank you," the lady replied ; "I prefer to smell the pine boards." MAKE YOURSELF HEARD. This little clipping is good, though homely. The men who prosper in this world are the men who mind their own busi- ness and keep on minding it. An ex- change furnishes an example: "Ta - toes 1" cried a colored peddler in Rich- mond. "Hush dat racket ! You dis- tracts de whole neighborhood !" re- sponded a colored woman from a doorway. "You kin hear me, kin you?" "Hear you? I kin hear you a mile," "T'anks ! I'se thollerin' to be heard ! 'Tatoes !" Lt EA -- LABOR'AND CAPITAL. There is an ancient legend to the effect that the angel of life was sent out to find the place where happiness dwelt. He went, first to a palace, but the monarch there enthroned wore a golden sorrow ; then he flew to a hovel, but as he there heard cries for bread, he hurried away. Then the angel was told to measure the distance between the rich and the poor, and in the center to plant a beautiful lily. Then the monarch was directed to walk toward the hovel, and the beggar toward the throne; midway they met and there they lived the remainder of their lives in happiness and peace. HER WAY OF TELLING IT. SVe have seen in print this little story about a neice of Bishop Brooks ; The child was three years old. Her mother was preparing her for bed, when she had a call down stairs ; as she was about to leave the room she said D: 'Dear, say your prayers while mamma is gone. When she returned she asked the child if she had said her prayers. The little one replied : "I did and I didn't." "Why, what do you mean, dear ?" asked the mother. "I told the Lord I was very tired and couldn't say my prayers, and He said, 'Don't mention it, Miss Brooks.' " ASHAMED. The story is told of a well-known New England clergyman, that he once exchanged with a brother clergyman and was entertained at the house of a parishioner who was even too hospit- able. She insisted upon his eating a Large piece of mince pie for dinner, and the minister yielded, against his bet- ter judgent. The consequence was that he became violently ill and was unable to preach that afternoon. The doctor was sum- moned, and while he was ministering to his agonized patient, the latter looked up and said feebly, but with au inimitable twinkle,of the eye : "Doctor, I'm not afraid to die, but I'm ashamed to 1"—Sel. WHOSOEVER WILL, MAY COME. The following camp meeting episode shows that the colored brother had the tight spirit. He was making an appeal to the unconverted, and with an elo- quent gesture cried out : "De gospel ship Inn all ready. De sails is spread. All she want am a cargo. Come forward, my brudders an' sisters, come forward and git orn board." Atthis juncture a middle-aged woman of itntnense size rose from her seat, and it urezing past the other occupants: )f the bench, was making her way dog, n theaisle, when the minis- ter, an ecstatic smile irradiating his face, and hs arms extended in wel- come, nava cell to meet her. "Dot's right, my sister 1" he exclailned. "Dot's riltt, Von come right orn. I'll take you in d you sinks de ship." . TO A WITHERED ROSE. John Kendrick Bangs, in Harper's Weekly. Thy span of life was all too short— A week or two at best— From budding -time, through blossom- ing, To withering and rest. Yet compensation hast thou—aye !— For all thy little woes ; For was it not thy happy lot To live and die a rose ? • It is probably not the coldest weather you ever kneyv in your life ; but that is how you feel just now, be- cause past sufferings are soon forgot- ten, and because your blood needs the enriching, invigorating influence of Ayer's Sarsaparilla — the Superior Medicine. SHE WAS FROM VASSAR. AND SHE WAS AIii,ING HER KNOW- LEDGE IN A MARKETING EXCURSION. She was a Vassar graduate and didn't know a little bit about housekeeping when she married her last beau and settled down to domestic life. Her first order at the grocer's was a crusher, but that good man was used to all sorts of people and could inter- pre"t Vassar as easily as plain English. "I want ten pounds of paralyzed sugar," she said, with a business air. "Yes'm. Anything els •?" "Two cans of condemned milk." "Anything more, ma'am?" "A baof fresh salt—be sure that it is fresh !" "Yes'm. What next ?" "A pound of desecrated codfish." "Yes'm." He wrote glibly "desiccat-- ed cod." "Nothing more, ma'am? . Here' some nice horseradish just in." "No," o shewith a sad wobble to her flexible said, wxible voice, "it would be of no use, as we don't keep a horse." Then the grocer sat down on a kit of mackerel and fanned hitnself with a patent washboard. Vassar had taken the cake.—Detroit Free Press.' • "Now good digestion wait on appetite, And health on both," says the great Sheakespeare, but he did not have in mind a coated tongue or torpid liver, with all the syrnptonis of biliousness, so common in this coun- try. All this, and more, can be cured by Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis- covery, a purely vegetable compound, which restores the action of the liver, gives tone to the flagging energies of the dyspeptic's stomach, and thus en- ables "good digestion to wait on appe- tite, and health on both." By drug- gist. Asthma, and Hay Fever. cured, by a newly discovered treatment. Address for pamphlet, World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. "Don't bother me child -you may call it plebisight, or plubisight,or plebis- cet, or plubiscet, or plebisit, or plu- bisit, or anything you please, and you may put the ascent where you like. We prouonce it ya success."—Grip, ----•- -vers • 421.--- The mThe is<,ue of The Delineator for March is the great "Spring Announcement Number," and in its artistic display of New Styles and general attractiveness it is superior to auy former number of this popular magazine. In addition to the usual entertaining reading there are several new features noticed this month, one being an original and decidedly fascinating Scarf Drill that will be immensely popular. Another is the resumption of the articles on the Uses of Crepe and Tissue Papers, with illustrations ; and a third is the first of the promised series of papers on Hy- gienic Living, and many other good features. The March number is one of the hest of the year with which to begin a subscription, which costs One Dollar; Single Copies, 15 cents. Ad- dress orders to The Delineator Publish- ing Co. of Toronto (Ltd.), 33 Richmond Street West, Toronto, Ont. Hockey is a olite term for bankers' shiny, says the Berlin Record. There are 2,000 idle men in Chicago who refuse to work and steps will be taken to drive them from the city. Barney King, who was suspected of murdering Angus McLeod, of Napaneq • has been discharged, Mrs. Lucinda Browning, white, aged 105 years last Christmas day, died last - week at Augusta, Ga. Tho Elmira Advertiser is trying to ascertain by means of a coupon vote who is the prettiest girl in that village. The Orangemen of Stratford and County of Perth have accepted an invi- tation to celebrate the 12th of July in St. Thomas. Nearly all the inmates of the douse of Refuge at Woodstock are down with is grippe. Five of the number are quite ill, and their 'recovery is doubt- ful. 011ie Jennings had the bridge of his nose broken by being accidentally struck with a hockey stiek in the match at Berlin on Wednesday night.