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Clinton New Era, 1894-10-26, Page 3IORR1S ApiaAos MUSICAL EXCELLENCE; ARTISTIC DESIGN DITRABLE CONSTRUUTlON CASALOOIIEa SENT FEEE ON APPLIOATAON. - • ***New Morris-Feild -Rogers-Co LISTOWEL. EFRUM. Whar's Efrum? `Whar's Efrum? W'y, de Lewd kin on'y tell, I sent him to de wood -pile mo'n twenty yeah ergo, Whareber he's a libin', I hopes he's doin' well, But he oughter brung dat wood back to he mammy. Yes, ant's so. An' you knowed him? You knowed him? Well., hit's eomfortin' to fin' Somebody ez war 'quainted wid my hairnm• awry boy; Hit kinder brings him bank into Kees pore ole mammy's min', An' makes he t'ink. he'll Dome ergin to bring her ole heart joy. He aline war a ,mischief, but dar warn't nuthin' bad Erbout dat chile, just 'oeptin' w'en he'd git some devilment Into hees haid, an' den he'd up an' make me mons'us mad, Untwell I'd say I'd skin him; but he neb- ber oared a cent. He aliue minded mammy, an' he'd do jist w'at she say, 'Captin' 'pon some 'melons he war kinder sorter slow, An' he do jise w'at she'd wanter of she let him hab he way; But he'd oughter brung dat wood back to he mammy long ergo. An' so you knowed my Efrum? Lawd bress us! Yon doan' say! Hit's twenty long, long yeahs I's been a grieben fur dat boy. I nebber kin furgit hees prangs an' hees rapskalliou way; I's prayed fur him an' weeped fur him, an' ain't hab much ob joy Senoe he went off. Ef I could ketch him now, I'd skin him shoah Fur nebber bringin' back dat wood. An' you dat rascal knowed? He pore ole mammy nebber will lay eyes on him no moah. W'at? Yon is—Sho! You Efrum? Hush! Lawd bress us, how you's growed! PROMINENT NIAGARA DISTRICT PEOPLESAY: Mr A. E. Douglass, Druggist, Welland, says:—"Stark's Powders for Headache, Neuralgia, Biliousness, an& Liver, are highly praised by all who have used them." Mr J. H. Burgar, Druggist and Treasur- er, town of Welland, says:—"Stack's Pow- ders give good satisfaction and sill readily." Mr Alex.. Runase -, Imperial Bank, Wel- land, says: "dtarkrs powders are excel- lent." Mr Wood, Manager Imperial Rank, Port Colborne, writes:—"Stark's Powders do' their work admirably." Mr A. E. Taylor, Deputy -Reeve, town of Welland, says:—"Stark's Powders cured me after two years of suffering from severe sick headache and stomach when cther remedies failed." Price 25c per box sold by all medicine dealers. SHORT STORIES RETOLD. • In a storm at sea the chaplain asked one of a crew if he thought there was any danger. "Why," replied the sailor, "if this continues, we shall all be in heaven before to -morrow morning." The chaplain, horrified, cried out. "The Lord forbid 1" The doctrine of purgatory was once disputed between the Bishop of Water- ford and Father O'Leary. It is. not likely that the former was convinced by the arguments of the latter, who, however, closed it very neatly by tell- ing the bishop, "Your lordship may go farther and fare worse." Not long ago a London preacher in- dulged in a little bit of sarcasm over a small collection. And he did it very neatly in a preface to his sermon on the following Sunday. "Brethren," he said, "our collection last Sunday was a very small one. When I look at this congregation I say to myself, 'Where are the poor ?' But as I looked at the collection when we counted it, I exclaimed, 'Where are the rich ?' " A dispute about precedence once arose upon a circuit between a bishop and a judge, and after some altercation the latter thought he should quite con- found his opponent by quoting the fol- lowing passage : "For on these two hang all the law and the prophets." "Do you not see," said the judge, in triumph, "that even in this passage you are mentioned first ?" "I grant you," replied the, bishop, "that you hang first." A Boox TO HOnBEMEN.—One bottle of Eng. lish Spavin Liniment completely removed a curb from my horse. I take pleasure in recommending the remedy, as it acts with mysterious promptness in the removal from horses of hard, soft or calloused lumps, blood spavin, splints, curbs, sweeny, stifles and sprains. GEORGE ROBB, Farmer, Markham, Ont. Sold by Watts & Co., and ALLArI & Wraaoe, Druggists The famed Bishop Wilmer of Louisi- ana was renowned for his witty rejoin- ders.On one occasion a Baptist min- ister insisted that there were several places in the Bible where immersion was unquestionably referred to. ."Yes ," replied the bishop, "I recall two Emelt instances, where there can be no doubt as to the mode : one is where Pharoah and his hest were immersed in the sea, and the other where the Gadarene pigs were drowned in the deep." A certain reverend gentleman in London, having to preach a charity sermon, said,hothing on the subject until the sermthi was ended. He then Children Cry for Pilehersis Otiiitorla. told the congregation that this was a ! rgete matter of l)usiuess, and as such ho would talk of it. They knew as I well as he that they had certain poor to provide for, who looked to their purses. He then read the text: "He that giveth to the poor lendeth to the ,Lord,' and added, "If you approve of your security. dawn with your money, , A Salvation Army preacher, in one of his talks, exclaimed to his hearers: "Eternity! Why, you don't know the meaning of that word? Nor 1, either, hardly. It is forever and ever, and five or six everlastings a -top of that. You might place a: row of lggres from here to sunset, and cipher them all tip, and it wouldn't begin to tell how many ages long eternity is. Why, my friends, after millions and trillions of years had rolled away in eternity, it would be a hundred thousand years to breakfast time." Rev Robert Hall had a very large mouth. He was as well aware of this as any one else, and one morning ata breakfast party at Bristol, on the oc- casion of family prayers, a young min- ister, referring .to a sermon about to be delivered by the distinguished divine, prayed that the Lord would "open his mouth wider than ever." When they rose from their knees, Mr Hall said, "Well, • sir, why did you pray m mouth might be opened wider? It couldn't well be done, sir, unless it was slit from ear to ear." A very vain preacher having deliver- ed a sermon in the hearing of Rev Robert Hall, pressed him, with a mix- ture of self -complacency and indeli- cacy, to state what he thought of the sermon. Mr Hall remained Silent for some time, hoping that his silence would be rightly interpreted; but this only caused the question to be pressed with greater earnestness. At length Mr Hall admitted, "There was one very fine passage." "I am rejoiced to hear your say so. Pray, sir, which, was it?" "Why, sir, it was the ass - age from the pulpit to the vestry." Among other instances of Dr. Isaac Barrow's wit and vivacity, the follow- ing set-to between him and the profli- gate Lord Rochester is related, in which the doctor certainly had the best of it: These two gentlemen meet- ing one day at court, while Barrow was king's chaplain in ordinary, Ro- chester, thinking to banter him, ac- costed him with a flippant air and a low, formal bow, saying, "Doctor, I am yours to my shoe -tie." Barrow, perceiving h is drift, returned the salute with, "My Lord, I am yours to the ground." Rochester, improving on this, quickly returned it with, "Doctor, I am yours to the centre;" which was as smartly followed up by Barrow with, "Mv lord, I am yours to the an- tipodes." Upon which Rochester, piqued at being foiled by one he called "a musty old piece of divinity," ex- claimed, "Doctor, I am yours to the lowest pit of hell;" upon which Barrow, turning upon his heel, archly replied, "There, my: ord, I leave you." The Ontario Fees Commission met in the Court House, at Ottawa, on Thurs- day. Dr J. G. Bourinot, Clerk of the House of Commons, was the principal witness examined. On theermission of the commissisner he madepa careful statement, setting forth his opinions NI the questionsupon which the com- missioner - was seeking information. His conclusions were:=That the pres- ent system of appointment to Provin- cial offices seemed on the whole the ligst -calculate, to- givq thecoup,. try an efficient aria per.nanent public service; that to change the sys- tem of responsibility resting upon the education of every appointment for ir- responsible methods of popular elec- tions would be subversive of the Eng- lish principles of government and a weakening of the whole public service; that, municipal councils should be kept within the strict lines of their local powers; that the uniform system of paying all salaries by the Government at a fixed rate, graded according to the importance and responsibilities of the office, would conduce to theublic advantage by placing all officials on a basis of equality; that the efficiency of public service must be enhanced by conditions of permanence of tenure and a fixity of salary. ALL MEN Young, old or middle-aged, who find them- selves nervous, weak and exhausted, who are broken down from excess or over -work, restating in many of the following symp- tome :—Mental depression, premature old age, lose of vitality, loss of memory, bad dreams, dimness of sight, palpitation of the heart, emissions, lack of energy, pain in the kidneys, headache, pimples on the face and body, itching or peculiar sensation about the scrotum, wasting of the organs, dizzi- ness, specks before the eyes, twitching of the muscles, eyelids and elsewhere, bash- fulness, deposits in the urine, loss of will power, tenderness of the scalp and spine, weak and flabby muscles, desire to sleep, failure to be rested by sleep, constipation, dullness of hearing, loss ' voice, desire for solitude, excitability of temper, sunken eyes, surrounded with LEADEN CIRCLES, oily looking skin, etc., are all symptoms of ner- vous debility, that lead to insanity, unless oared. The spring or vital force having lost its tension, every function wanes in consequence. Those who through abase committed in ignorance, may be perma- nently cured. Send your address. and loo in stamps for book on diseases peculiar to man, sent sealed. Address M. V. LUBON, 24 Mazdonnell Ave., Toronto, Ont., Canada. P1 ease mention this paper. WE'S TWINNIES. Roger and I, We's twinniesl When God opened up a bit of bine sky, To let one little boy angel by, There was two slipped out, and that's just why We'a twinnieel Roger has bine eyes, and I has black Papa was going to send me bank Mamma pried so, when he took that tank, We's twinnieel Moro little dresses had to be made, Two little ohairs set out in the shade, Two little ohildren to be afraid, We's twinniesl Papa comes home Wok every night, Roger's is left knee, mine is right, We squeeze him tip most awfully tight, We's twinniesl We puts our arms round his neck, just so, He,says he don't want to see tie grow, Won't be so cute when we're men, you know, • Weis twinniesl 0 as..ses.s THE 'CLINTON' ON NEW ERA UAW? How does the green get into the grass? How does the loop get into the glees?' How does the sweet get into the roses? How does the smell get into onr:loeea? How does the blue get into the skies? Bow does the see it get•into my eyes? How does the twinkle get into a star? Row does the sunshine come so far? October 26, THE MODEL WIFE and DIAMOND DYES A model wife can realize Great benefits from Diatnond Dyee; No matter what her family's size, She dollars saves by Diamond Dyes; .She happy makes her children's lives, By using often Diamond Dyes; Her home is bright as oloudlees skies, Because she uses Diamond Dyes; All other brands she must despise, When she can use the Diamond Dyes; Her faded dress she deftly tries Torenovate with Diamond Dyes; Her husband's coats, vests, pants and ties Are soon renewed with Diamond Dyes; At Fair this year she took the prize, For goods Dyed with Diamond Dyes; She causes wonder and surprise, By tinting walls with Diamond Dyes: She with the artist often vies, By coloring maps with Diamond Dyes; She's economical and wise, This cornea through using Diamond Dyes; Good -nature sparkles in her eyes, Because she's helped by Diamond Dyes; On those grand colors she relies, She knows the best are Diamond Dyes. THE CLERK WAS DEAF. "The new hymn -book," said the minister, "will be used for the first time on Sabbath next. I would also call attention to the delay which often takes place in bringing children to be baptized I would particularly im- press this on mothers who have young babies." "And for the information of those who have none," said the clerk in gentle and kindly tone (he was deaf and had not heard what the clergy- man had said.) "I may state that if wished, they can be obtained on ap- plication in the vestry immediately after service to -day. Single ones, shilling each; with stiff backs, two shillings." TESTING HIS HONESTY. Your druggist is honest if when you ask him for a bottle of Scoti's Emulsion he gives you just what you ask for. He knows this is the best form, in which to take Cod Liver Oil. HARNESSING NIAGARA. Engineers have estimated that the total water -power of Niagara Falls is seven million horse -power. This esti- mate, to be sure, is in the main only a guess, but when the area drained into the lakes above Lake Ontario, and passing through the Niagara River be considered, the guess or estimate does not seem to be too large. The water surface of the Great Lakes above On- tario is 84,000 square miles, and the watershed of these lakes is 240,000 square miles—more than twice the area of Great Britain and Ireland. The total length of shore -line . is 5000 miles, while the volume of.water is MOO cubic mil�l s _of which LakeS.uperior contains almosEone half. The rate of outflow ` at Buffalo is from 217,000 to 275,000 cubic feet per second, while the fall of the cataract is 165 feet. The volume of water in the lakes is such that it has been estimated that even if no rain fell the flow of the river would be continu- ed at its present rate for one hundred years—that is, if the lakes could be gradually drained. These are very large figures, but in the main they are the results of exact measurements. The small water -pow- ers in the world ale uneven, and are affected by floods and droughts, but this great power at Niagara is as con- stant as anything in this world can be, not even the ice in the severestand longest winter ever known appreciably changing it. The present plant is in- tended only to utilize 125,000 horse- power, and, the turbines now in place are only for a small part of this. Other turbine wheels will be put in place as the demand for the power grows. The general plan of the company .contem- plates the ultimate use of 450,000 horse- power on the American side and a like amount in Canada. Such a power would turn all the wheels within a ra- dius of five hundred miles of the Falls. At the presenttime aconsiderable part of the power developed is to be taken to Buffalo by electric transmission, and it is the confident expectation of the electricians now at Work on the problem that the power can he taken as far east as Albany, three hundred miles away, and delivered there cheap- er than power can be generated by burning coal. If this be so, then all the country between Albany and the Falls will be admirably adapted for manufacturing, while the Erie Canal will afford cheap and tolerably quick transportation, for there seems to be little difficulty in the way of hauling these boats by electrical power.—Har- per's Weekly. HOW TO GET A SUNLIGHT PICTURE. Send 25"Sunlight" Soap wrappers wrap- per bearing the Words "Why Does a Wom- an Look Old Scarier Than a Man")to Leven Bees., Ltd., 43 Scott St., Toronto, and you will receive by post a pretty picture, free from advertising and well worth fram- ing. This is an easy way to decorate your home. The soap is the best in the market and it will only cost lo postagelto send in the wrappers, if you leave the ends open. Write your address carefully. Frederick Turner, a member of a leading family of New. Westminster, B.C., died from a knife wound inflicted on him by Gracie Irwin,with whom he had been living. The gross debt of the Dominion is now $310,1110,728, and the assets, not a little of which are unproductive, and could not be realized on, $65,467,167. Dr Garnier, of Lucknow, has discov- ered 33 different varieties of snakes in Ontario, three of them with rattles. The man with the d. ts. is yet to be .heard from. He will probably raise the number to at least one hundred. Children Cry for Pitcher's Castoria. e Qnt'arlo and leer Flounces. "Government House," in Toronto, the Qnterio " Spenoerwood," appears to be in danger. The Petrone demand its abolition in the interests of eoonomy, and they ap. parently have no notion that they are evicting a Queen's representative. Many,. Liberals are agreed with the Patrons on thie point, and Premier Mowat professes an open mind in the matter. And now Lieut. -Governor Kirkpatrick is reported as referring to the matter in, at least, a toler- ant vein. In speaking at University Ooje lege Convocation, in favor of free or cheap education, he said, s000rding to the reports; "Let us abolieh Government House, let net economize and out down expenditure in every way to make edpoatiop free to our people." This may have been ironical, but it does not seem to have been so under- stood. No'w, if the Patrons, the Liberals and the Conservative Lieut. -Governor agree on the abolition of "Government House," that edifice is plainly in some peril. This is one of the first fruits of the rise of the Patrons. They will certainly put all pub- lic expenses on their defence, and the friends of those which it is desirable to continue may as well begin to get ready for the trial. Ontario, for a province without a debt, is treading the path of economy with Dom• mendable persistence. Long ago, it de- cided that one chamber could do all the legislating required for the well-being of people. Its sessional allowance is $600; ours is $800. And now it is thinking of letting the Lieut. - Governor rent his own lodgings out of hie salary of $10,000. They may lack a proper appreciation of the dig- nity of Government up in Ontario, but they also lack the ornament of a provincial debt.—Montreal Star. The more you love yourself the less you will be loved by others. We are glad to find Lieutenant-Gov- enor Kirkpatrick indorsing the plank that the Government House establish- ment at Toronto should be abolished, Hon. Oliver Mowat, when speaking on the subject pointed out that the esta- blishment had not been set up by the Liberal party, and that he was pre- pared to abolish it as soon as the elec- tors returned members pledged to do so. That is a fair proposition. CASTOR IA for Infants and Children, 1IIWRTY years' observation of Castoria with the patina.ge et millions of persons, permit us to speak of it without guessing. It is unquestionably the best remedy for Infants and Children the world hiss over known. It is harmless. Children lila it. It •, .r rig•., gives them health. It will save their lives. In it Mothers have • something which is absolutely safe and practically perfoot as a child's medicine Castoria destroys Worms. Castoria allays Feverishness. Castor's prevents vomiting Soar Curd. Castoria Durex Diarrhoea and Wind. Colic. Castoria relieves Teething Troubles, Castoria cures Constipation and Flatulency. Castoria neutralizes the effects of carbonic acid gas or poisonous air. Castoria does not contain morphine, opium, or other narcotic property. Castoria assimilates the food, regulates the stomach and bowels, giving healthy" and natural sleep. Castoria is put up in one -size bottles only. It is not sold in lbuIk. Don't allow any one to sell yon anything else on the plea or promise that it is "just as good" and "will answer every purpose." See that you rot C -A -S -T -O -R -I -A. The fao-simile signature of is on every wrapper: Children Cry for Pitcher's Castoria. "When I was a Boy," Writes Postmaster J. C. WooDBoNN Forest Hill, W. Va., "I had a bron- chial trouble of such a persistent and stubborn character, that the doctor pronounced it incurable with ordinary medicines, and advised mento try Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. I did so, and one bottle cured me. For the last fifteen years, I have used .this --preparation- with .good_ effect whenever I take A Bad Cold, and I know of numbers of people who keep it in the house all the time. not considering it safe to be with- out it." "I have been using Ayer's Cherry Pectoral in my family for 30 years, with the most satisfactory results, and can cheerfully recommend it as being espe- cially adapted to all pulmonary com- plaints. I have, for many years, made pulmonary and other medicines aspecial study, and I have come to the conclusion that Ayer's Cherry Pectoral occupies a position pre-eminent over other medi- cines of the class."—Chas. Davenport, Dover, N. J. Ayer's Cherry Pectoral Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer Sr Co., Lowell, Masa. _ Prompt to act, sureto cure WALL STREET ! Operate Successfully in Wall Street THROUGH OUR Co -Operative R. H. Stock:Syndicate. Large Profits Realised with Minimum Risks. "Prospectus and Daily Market Letter" Mailed Free. HIGHEST REFERENCE. Weinman. & Co., Stock and Grain Broker. No. 41 Broadway, NEW YORK CITY. CEDAR POSTS For sale cheap four hundred first-class Cedar Poste at Clinton Station. Apply to JAB. BEANE, Clinton, or JOHN LANDSIIOROUGH, Beaforth S. WILSON, GENERAL DEALER IN TINWARE HURON STREET, CLINTON isepairing of all kinds promptly attended to reasonable rates. A trial soliotied. ALL THE WOMEN Are healthy some of the time, some women are healthy all the time, but all women are not healthy all the time unless they wash with a SEWARD :: WASHER Wo warrant the Seward Washer to oieanse any fabric that soap and water will cleanse- Now is the time to wash your carpets and Iaoe curtains. Get a Seward Washer, manufactured by J. T. SEWARD, : Clinton, Ont AGENTS WANTED in every town in Canada CLINTON MARBLE WORKS. COOPER'S OLD STAND, Next to Commercial Hotel. This establishment is in full operation and a' orders filled in the most satisfactory way Oeme tory and granite wdrk a specialty. Prices as reasonable as those of any ostablisim.ent SEALE & HOOViiR,Clinton, tm ti ars .t,.., kru, Pure Quills Make a better filling for Corse than any other known material. "Featherbone" Corsets are tough- er and more elastic than any other make, as they are entirely filled with quills (Featherbone). To be had at all Retail Dry Goods Stores. Hub Grocery E- Tea Just arrived, a consignment of the celebrated BEE BRAND TEA, put in half pound and pound packages. This is the only package Tes• put Min) - up where it is grown. The Bee Brant Pea is grown in the Palamcotta Cre> sena,. SIex1 . and-isauq.mixture;. but 9 -pure -Tear 14 -very "fine-flavor-amE:, 5-:1-- strength. This Tea took the first plaoe at the World's Fair, Chicago. We 1 tl -yt i_ have the sole agency for this town. Come and get a sample and try it. (-T.1 SW A. TALC, W. Clinton People Must Live ynd In order to do so they want the very best they can get. We have anticipated their desir4 by purchasing the choicest GROCERIES, TEAS, SUGARS, CANNED GOODS, FRUITS, &c, Having had 35 years •experience, think we know the wants of the people pretty well. Our stock embraces everything found in a first-class grocery, and we will not be undersold. We have a Beautiful Assortment of FANCY GLASSWARE and CROCKERY. Special Cuts on SUGARS and TEAS in large lobi J. W. Irwin, Groper. MACKAY BLOCH, -- - - CLINTON. OF ALL SHAMS The Business College Sham is the most to be despised. Not every institutio dubbed Business College is worthy of your support. You will in all likelihood . take a Business Course but once, therefore, why not Select a School that has earned a reputation for practical conscientious work. The • Forest City Business & Shorthand College, of London, stands head and shoulders above the average Canadian Schools—Graduates everywhere successful—Catalogue free— Address carefully J. W. WESTEItVELT, Principal. DRESSMAKERS DIFFER About fashions in dresses, but everyone agrees that the best foundation for any cos- tume is the "HEALTH BRAND," Black tights, which allow the figure to be shewn to perfection and do away with over. stockings, bloomers, and unnecessary skirts. All ladies in Montreal wore them last fait` and winter, and during the coming Beason' nothing else will be considered, they war such a success. • Send for our illustrated catalogue, free b post, if your own dealer has not got them. THE iEONTREAL SILK MILLS•CO., Moil