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HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton New Era, 1894-09-14, Page 325 »et's. will pay for the New Fra to the 1st of Jaya. 189.5. THE CLINTON* NEW ERA M USICAL EXCELLENCE; z ARTISTIC DESIGN DVTRABLE CONSTRUCTION CATALOGUES SENT FREE ON APPLICATAON. Morris-Feild -Rogers-Co LISTOWEL. SHORT STORIES RETOLD. A volunteer sham fight took place recently in England. During the re- treat, a Scotch volunteer, in scrambling through some bushes, stuck fast in a hed$e. One of the advancing foe see- ing the situation, for a joke came to- ward the unfortunate volunteer at full charge, with his bayonet fixed and a ferocious look on hissface. The poor fellow in the hedge, seeing the threat- ening aspect of affairs, bawled out at the top of his voice: "Hand on, you idiot; dinna ye ken it's only hi fun ?" A young man,who looked every inch the bridegroom, stood in the rotunda of the Great Northern the other day telling a friend of the manner of his proQsal to his bride. She had known of his Wild ways, and fondly hoped to reform him through marriage. "After I had popped the question and she had accepted me," he said, "I at once began to talk about the wedding. 'We will go away somewhere by ourselves, my dear,' I said; 'there will be no flourish, no cards, no ceremony—' here she in- , terrupted me, and, with a dignified sweep of her arm, declared: 'Mr —, I shall certainly insist upon a cere- mony.' " A short time ago a young lady was troubled with a boil on her knee,which grew so bad that she thought it neces- sary to call in a !physician. She had formed a dislike for the family physi- cian, so her father suggested several others, and finally said that he would Ball in the physician with the homoeo- pathic case, who passed the house every day. They kept a sharp lookout for him, and when he came along he was called in. The young lady modest- ly showed him the disabled member. The little man looked at it and said : "Why that's pretty bad." "Well," she said, "what must I do ?" "If I were you," he answered, "I would send for a physician. I am a piano tuner." lassieF IN IIx HOURS.—L)iStre88ing ltld ney and Bladder diseases relieved in six hours by the "NEW GREAT SOUTH AMERICAN KIDNEY CURE." This new remedy is a great surprise and delight to physicians on account of its exceeding promptness in re- lieving pain in the bladder, kidneys, back and every part of the urinary passages in _male .-_ar,female. It relieves retention ,of water and pain in passing it almost im- mediately. If you want quick relief and cure this is your remedy. Sold by Watts & Co., and ALLAN & WILBON, Druggists. A man who thought himself a scien tist gave a public lecture on electricity. The hall was at first tolerably full, but the audience°were not long in finding out with whom they had to do, and began to go ant one by one. At last only one remained. and he listened with great attention, thus encouraging the lecturer to continue. At the end of half an hour, the lecturer stopped politelyand said: "I beg your pardon, sir,' buI hope I am not trespassing on your kindness. I shall have finished in ten minutes." "Ten. minutes ! You can go on for another hour, or all night, if you like, so long as you don't forget that you engaged me by the hour." Then the unhappy man per- ceived too late that it was the cabman who had driven him to the lecture hall.. HJIART DISEASE RELIEVEb IN 30 MINUTES: All oasep,of organic or sympathetic heart disease tttielileved to 30 minutes and quickly cured, by"Dr. "Agnew's'Car'e for the Heart one dose convieoes. Sold by Watts & Co. and ALLAN & Winson, druggists. There lived in the vicinity oft Ber- gerac a parish priest whose parishion- ers decided upon getting up a subscrip- tion to present him with a cask of wine. One supplied the cask,fand each of the rest came and poured in two litres of the produce of his vineyard. One day our cure invited some of the subscribers to°dinner, in ordtc to taste the beverage Which foal med a compound of all the wines grown in the district. The servant went to turn Ithe tap, and came back with a decanter full of wa- ter in her hand. "Whatever is that?" was the general cry. "This is the wine out of the barrel." His reverence could not make it out; it was altogeth- er puzzling. The guests were splitting with laughter. Each one had thought to himeelf that the presence of two litres of water would not he detected in a butt of wine; but, as it happened, they had all acted on the same idea. The folio -Wing affidavit was filed in the court of common pleas in Dublin in 1822: "And this deponent further saith that on arriving at the house of the said defendant, situate in the county of Galway, aforesaid, for the purpose of personally serving hire with the said wilt, he, the said deponent, knocked three several times at the outer door, commonly called the hall door, but could not obtain admittance; where- upon this deponent was proceeding to knock a fourth time, when a man, to this deponent unknown, holding in his hands a musket or blunderbuss, loaded with balls and; slugs, as this deponent has since heard and verily believes, appeared at one of the upper windows of the said house, and presenting said musket or bluderbus at this deponent threatened 'that if said deponent did not instantly retire, he would send his (the deponent's) soul to hell,' which this deponent verily believes he would have done, had dot this deponent pre- cipitately escaped. Sly Francis Johnson, Chief -Justice of the Superior Court of the Province of Quebec, on one of 'his circuits in the Eastern toWnships, during the winter, put up at a country hotel. The night was bitterly cold, and the proprietor was not extravagant in his fuel supply or in the weight of his blankets. The judge put over his bed coverings his 'heavy coat and other clothes; still the wind and arctic frost became colder and colder, and sleep he found impos- sible. It was after midnight, and no one round to make a fire. The judge arose, and putting on his slippers and dressing gown, went into the passage and shouted with all his power, "Fire, fire, fire." In a few seconds the whole of the hotel was aroused, and each frightened one enquiring where it was. Then came the proprietor. Panting and scared, he ran for the judge and screamed out, "Where is the fire, where is it?" The judgo1 with a merry twin- kle in his eye, replied, "That's what I am trying to find." A good fire was at. once made in the hall, and the rest of the night was passed in comfort. Itch your Weight u ars losing flesh your ';'e_r. Is drawing on your 1•14ent strength. Something h, wrong. Take Scott's I3rnuision t h e Cream of Cod-liver 011, to give your system its need -- cd strength and restore your healthy weight. Physicians, the world over, endorse It. Don't be deceived by Substitutes! Boort a Bonne, Belleville.411Drngtlgte, Ole. b Il. ALL MLA Young, old or middle-aged, who find them- selves nervous, weak and exhausted, who are broken down from excess or over -work, resulting in many of the following symp- toms :—Mental depression, premature old age, loss of vitality, loss of memory, bad dreams, dimness of sight, palpitation of the heart, emissions, lack of energy, pain in the kidneys, headache, pimples on the face and body, itching or peculiar sensation about the scrotum, wasting of the organs, dizzi- ness, specks before the eyes, twitching of the muscles, eyelids and elsewhere, bash- fulness, deposits in the urine, loss of will power, tenderness of the scalp and spine, weak and flabby muscles, desire to sleep, failure to be rested by Bleep, constipation, dullness of hearing, loss voice, desire for solitude, excitability of temper, sunken eyes, surrounded with LEADEN CIRCLES, oily looking skin, etc,, are all symptoms of ner- vous debility; that lead to insanity, unless cured. The spring or vital force having lost its tension, every function wanes in consequence. Those who through abuse committed in ignorance, may be perma- nently cured. Send your address and 1Oc stamps for book on diseases peculiar to man, sent sealed. Address M.V. LUBON, 24 Maodonnell Ave., Toronto, Ont., Canada. P1,.ase mention this paper. THE DEAD WIFE. The hour set for the funeral had come. The hearse with its black plumes stood at the farmhouse door. It seemed a strange and foreign thing among the bright -colored hollyhocks,_ the commonplace sunshine, the lowing of cows in the barnyard, and the chick- ens that moved about upon the green lawn before the, ,-house. The Jersey wagons of the'-- eighboring farmers upon the road, for the Garrets were much respected. Mrs Garret, who had just died, was a "home body," and saw but little of her neighbors, but her husband had grown rich by great industry and close saving, and had pushed his children on in the world. John, his only son, had been to col- lege, and the girls to a boarding -school, and they were so improved that they seemed to belong to quite another class from their mother.- They had stood with their father at the coffin, to look for the last time at the woman who lay there. "Your mother was a pretty woman when she was young," the farmer had said. It had startled him to see how thin and wrinkled her face was under the white hair. "Sarah's only fifty," he continued. "She hadn't ought to look so old," he said. He had not thought of her looks when she was alive. There was a certain sullen resent- ment under his grief that shel was dead. How was he to do without her? She was a master hand at cooking, and butter -making and laundry work and sewing. He had never thought to ask her if she needed help. She had never complained, and to complete her work she had risen at four and had gone to bed late at night. Things al- ways:ran•smoothly. She never spoke of being ill. It stunned him when she took this cold, and sank under it in two days. The doctor said that all her strength was gone. "Sarah had the strength of ten women." the hus- said. "Where had it pone?" He was amazed and indignant. Was this the justice of God, to take away a woman so useful in the world? It was not just! Her daughters sobbed vehemently. She had always been so tender! She did so much for them! They did not,' it is true, feel well acquainted with her since they grew up. But between their music, and their studies, and their young companions, their lives bad been filled. They smoothed the folds of her merino gown, a little ashamed that she had not silk dress. She had insisted that each of thein should have silk gowns, and had helped to make them. Jack, her son, like his father, was shocked to see how worn his mother looked. He had talked for a year or two of taking her to New York for a week. She had never seen a great city. But he always had some engage- ment. He remembered now that she had made enough in the dairy to keep him in spending money at college. He wished he had contrived that little holiday for her! They all felt now how good and unselfish she had been, and how dear to thein. "Why should she be taken from us?" the old man moaned, bitter ly. "It is cruel. Why has God done t his thing?" And t he dead woman lying there, her lips closed forever, could make no answer save that which toil had stamp- ed on the thin, wort. face, that seemed pleading for rest. 1 Africa has a population of 806,000 Europeans and 755,000 negroes. , MORAL REFLECTIONS. It is hard to please the man who ne- ver knows what he wants. How quick some people backslide when their income is doubled. It takes both grace and grit to get along pleasantly with people who never snake mistakes, TO BEAUTIFY THE COMPLEXION —do not take the cosmetics, paints and powders which injures the skin, bat take the easiest way to gain a beautiful color and alwholesome skin. Bealth is the great- est beautifier. The means to beauty, com- fort, and health for women is Dr Pieroe's Fayorite Prescription. Dull eyes, sallow or wrinkled face, and those "feelings of weakness," have their rise in the derange- ments peculiar to women. "Favorite Prescription" will build up, strengthen, and invigorate, every "run- down" or delicate woman by regulating and assisting all the natural functions. To cure constipation, billiousnees, indi- gestion, sink headaohe, take Dr Pierre's Pellets. One a dose. BOUND TO CUT A SHINE. A deputy assessor called at a subur- ban residence a few days ago and ask- ed the lady of the house to fill out her statement of assessable property. She had never made out a statement be- fore, this public duty having been at- tended to by her husband in previous years. In some way she was under the im- pression that the statement of her ef- fects would be published in the daily papers, and she was anxious to let her neighbors know what she had. "Have you! a piano, madame?" asked the deputy assessor "I have, and a fine one, too." "What is it worth?" "Not a cent lea6 than $1,000 " "What is your other household fur- niture worth?" "At least 52,500." The assessor glanced at the rag carpet doubtfully, put it down at that. "I see you have some pictures," he said. There were a few cheap chromes hanging on the wall. "I' have nine old paintings worth $50 apiece." "Do you keep any poultry?" "Yes, sir: I have about five hundred young chickens." "What are they worth?" "There are of a very fine breed and I wouldn't take a cent less than $1 a chick." "Chickens, $500," he repeated, as he filled out the blank. "Do you keep a cow or a horse?" "No, but I have a fine goat." "What do you value it at?" "About $100. Nannie's better than any cow." •:You have no franchises or assess, have you, madame?" "No -o," - she responded doubtfully. "But I think my husband has three or four. You can put them down at $100 apiece, can't you?" "Certainly, madame. The total, is $4,950. Is that almost right?" "You might make it a round $5,000." Her husband has been haunting the assessor's office ever since in an effort to convince that official that his wife was playing ajoke on the deputy when she swore to that statement. Ayer's Hair Vigor tones up the week hair -roots stimulates the vessels and`tis- sues' which supply the hair with nutri- tion, strengthens the hair itself, and adds the oil which keeps the shafts soft, lustrous, and silky. The most popular and valuable toilet preparation in the 6vorld. GOOD THINGS. There is no doubt such a thing as chance; but I see no reason why provi- dence should make use of it.—Simms. One of the God -like things of this world is the veneration done to human worth by the hearts of men.—Carlyle. We love to expect, and when expec- tation is either disappointed or grati- fied, we want to be again expecting.— J ohnson. Great minds, like heaven, are pleased in doing good, though the ungrateful subjects of their favors are barren in their return.—Rowe. Unbounded courage and compassion joined proclaim him good and great, and make the hero and the roan com- plete.—Addison. Men love to nurse their cares, and seem as uneasy without some fret as an old friar would be without his hair girdle.—H. W. Beecher. What life is I know not, nor claim the right to know; but gladly accept the highest hints and intimations giv- en, as likest truth.—Allingham. Despotism can no more exist in a na- tion until the liberty of the press be destroyed, than the night can happen before the sun is set.—Colton. Of_all the cants in this canting world, though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst, the cant of criticism is the most tormenting.—Sterne. September 14..1094 WAYSIDE GLEANINGS. While the elephant appears clumsy, it is in reality one of the most nimble ,animals of Asia. The reason why red infuriates ani- mals is because it is the complement- ary color of green. There are two species of the true whale. One has teeth in the lower jaw, and the other has not. Minard's Liniment aures distemper. Some stars seen through telescopes are so distant that it takes their light 2,700 years to reach this planet. The cheetah, or hunting' leopard, of India, is three and one-half feet high, and is hooded like a hawk when taken out to the chase. The strength of the lion's fore limbs is only 69 per cent that of the tiger, while the strength of his hind limbs is hut 65 per cent. Minard's Liniment cures diphtheria. The House of Lords of Great Britain consists of 560 noblemen entitled to seats, and the House of Commons con- sists of 671 members. The stone known as a cat's eye is a gray quartz, with shreds of asbestos through it. It is found in perfection in the southern part of the United States. The greatest daily change of temper- ature to be found on the earth's sur- face is in Arizona. There is frequent- ly a change of eighty degrees in twelve hours. Dealers in wild animals receive enor- mous profits above the first cost, but the expense of transportation and the losses by death are so great that ver y little money is made in the business. A Boos To HORSEMEN.—One bottle of Eng- lish Spavin Liniment completely removed a curb from my horse. I take pleasure in recommending the remedy, as it acts with mysterious promptness in the removal from horses of hard, soft or calloused lumps, blood spavin, splints, curbs, Sweeny, stifles and sprains. GEORGE ROBB, Farmer, Markham, Ont. Sold by Watts & Co., and ALLex & Wrasos, Druggists COTTOLENE. a z e DON'T And fault with the cook if the pastry does not exactly suit you. Nor with your wife either—perhaps she is nos to BLAME It may be the lard she is using for shortening. Lard is indigestible you know. But if you would always have YOUR Cues, pies, rolls, and bread palatableand perfectly di- gestible, order the new short- ening,"COTTOLENE," for your WIFE Sold is 3 and S pound pails. by all grocers. Made only by THE N. H. PAIRBLNII: COMPANY, twenties.' ,.ail Aaa Sts., Montreal. ikr' r 1' , bZ' k;'¢' ',d 4441St?1PCO.0 IN!,a k4 POWDERS Cure SICK HEADACHE and Neuralgia In ao MIMUTES also Coated Tongue, Dizzi- ness, Biliousness, Pain in the Side, Constipation, Torpid Liver, Bad Breath. to stay cured also regulate the bowels. VERY NICE TO TAKE. PRIDE 25 CENTS AT DRUG STORES. WAR IN THE EAST, STRIKES IN THE WEST. PEACE AND PLENTY IN CANADA CASTOR IA for Infants and Children. THIRTY yearn' observation of Castor1* with the patronage of millions of persons, permit vs to speak of it without Sasaiot. It is unquestionably- the test remedy for Infants anal Children the world has ever known. It is harmless. Children like it It gives them health. It will save their lives. In it Mothers have something urhioh is absolutely safe and practically perfect as a child's medioine. Castoria destroys Worms. Castoria allays Feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd. Castoria aures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic Castoria relieves Teething Troubles. Castor's aures Constipation and Flatulency. Castor's neutralises the elects of carbonic acid gas or poisonous air. Castor's does not contain morphine, opium, or other narcotic property: Castor's assimilates the food, regulates the stomach and bods, giving healthy and natural sleep. Castoria is put upin ane -rise bottles only. It is not sold in [bath. Don't allow any one to sell you anything else on the plea or prombie that it is "just as good" and "will answer every purpose." See that yon trot O -A -S -T -O -R -I -A. The foo -simile signature cf is on avenin wrapper: Children Cry for Pitcher's Castoria. ammiemmigunomr 0 Bneiness during harvest was quiet, but now that harvest is over, it has improved, and we are looking for still better. In order to help, we will give all purchasers of goods very close prices, and in several lines of BOOTS& SHOES will sell at or even under cost. Also special values in Dry Goods &� Groceries- Onr fail stooks are coming in and are excel- lent values. We aspect a lot of Crockery direct from England in a short time, the prices of which will be very low. Any quantity cf BUTTER and EGGS wanted—Highest Price for good quality. ADAMS' EMPORIUM LONDESBORO R. ADAMS. IT PAYS TO ATTEND A BUSINESS &ISHORTItAND SCHOOL That has a reputation among business men for doing practical work. The work of the Pure Quills Make a better filling for Corse than any other known materia:. t'Featherbone" Corsets are tough- er and more elastic than any other make, as they are entirely filled with quills (Featherbone). To be had at all Retail Dry Goods Stores. Hub Grocery w- Tea Forest City Business & Shorthand College, of London Just arrived,,a consignment of the celebrated BEE BRAND TEA, put in half pound and pound packages. This is the only package Tea put up where it is grown. The Bee Brand Tea is grown in the • Palamcotta Gardens, Ceylon, and is no mixture, bat a pure Tea of very fine flavor and strength. This Tea took the first plane at the World's Fair, Chicago. We have the sole agency for this town. Come and get a sample and try it. C.4F141.1 SWAI..LC) W, Clinton CAN IAN CHOLERA. {AROMA AND BOWEL COMPLAINTS - ....ITS EFFECT IS MAGICAL. People Must Live :- knd in order to do so they want the very best they can get. We have anticipated their desire by purchasing the choicest GROCERIES, TEAS, SUG ARS, CANNED GOODS, FRUITS, &Ca Having had 35 years experience, think we know the waste of the people pretty well. Our stook embraces everythi.gg found in a first-class grocery, and we will not be unclereel4. We have a Beautiful Assortment of FANCY GLASSWARE and CROCKERY. Special Cuts on SUGARS and TEAS in large lots J. W. Irwin, Grocer MACKAT BLOCK, - - • CLIliTON. BINDER T INE 'A full stock and prices away down. It you want 100 lbs., 50 lbs., or one ball, we can supply you. The best is the cheapest X Is commended by every business man at all acquainted with our methods. College reopens on Monday, Sept. 3. J. W. WESTERVELT, Principal r,Tsr3w Store D AR LAN D BROS. Brick BlockkOld Stand IackagBlock r LA M E B CK NEURAIGIA,PLEURISY,SCIATICA AND RHEUMATISM CURED EVERY TIME TUE "D.& L': MENTNQL PLATER 5ISED.