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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1893-01-04, Page 37.11, rti *', ` • .8118108$ /!rI LECTOR■ r gtl<µbttn . tpeerperetee by Act of Parllureout 1886. (VITAL, •- $2,000, ob0 RAST, . $1.100,000 Head Office" - MONTREAL. J. Ii, R. t\IOLSON, President. >r WOLFERSTAIi THOMAS, General Manager. Notes discounted, Collections ;lade, Drafts issued, Sterling and American ex. - change bought and sold at lowgest current rates. INrsager ALLOwee ON Derealre, IS'11,-122,3VI33:11R.S— Money advanced' to fanners on their own notes with ono or more endorsers. No mortgage re• qulred as security. Ieobruary, 1864. H. 0. BREWER, Manager, CLIrTON. G. I).. cTlaggart BANKER, ALBERT STREET, CLINT040 A GENERAL BAaVKI NO BUSINESS *TRANSACTED. Notes Discounted. - Drafts Issued. Interest Allowed on Deposits. Clinton, June Atli, 1891 658y t'= ARRAN (fit; TISDALL, PRIVATE BANKERS, Itatteubury • street - Clinton. zecltxnz. DRS. GENIN & GIBSON. OFFiCE Ontario St. a few doors east of Albert St. W. GUNN. . 11. J. GIBSON. DR. TURNBULL. FOR SALE. The property at present ocoupled by the un- derslgeied as a residence on the -Huron Road, la the Town of Qoderieb, consisting, of one half of an acro of land, good frame house --story and n hail -seven rooms, lnoluding klteheu, hard and soft water, good stows cellar, stable, wood and carriage houses. There are else some Rood fruit trees. This property is beautifully situated and vorylauitabte for auy,persnn whiling to live retired• For further particulars ripply to 642.tf N. Rarristsr,Goderlob.. .1., L. Turnbull, M. B. Toronto Univ. ; M. D. ; C. M., Victoria Univ. M. C. 1'. & S. Ont, ; fellow of the obstetrical society of Edinburgh. Late of London, Eng., and Edinburgh hospitals. Office:— Dr. Dowsley's stand, ltatteubury St. Night calls answered at Office. J W. SHAW, M. D. C M • 1 W. Shaw, '.,L ll C. \L, Physician, Surgeon, Accoueher, ete. Office in the Palace blocs, Batten - t ury St., formerly o,vupied by -Dr. -Reeve, Clinton pentt"ptrg. T. C. BRUCE L. D. S., Surgeon Dentist. Member of R. C. D. S., of Ont. Teeth extracted without pain by the use uf harm- less and pleasant local anaesthetic. No unconscious• Mess, sickness nor ill-effects accompany, the use of this remedy, and many in and around Clinton can testily to its genuineness, Special attention given to the preservation of the natural teeth. Office, Coates' Block, over Taylor's she store. Ra ACNEW, L. D. S. TO THE FARMERS. Study your own mterost and go were you can get Reliable Harness. I manufacture none but tee Beer or Srooa. I)etaarr • shops that sett cheap, as they Atm got to live. or Call and get prices. orders by mail prompiy attended to !1 00 }1. .1N 3 B JLJ L 9 HARNESS EMPORIUM; I,LNT11. ON'P FOR SALE. 91HE SUBSCRIBER offers for sale tour eligible 1 Building Lots fronting on Albert Street; has two fronting on Rattenbury Street: either en bloc. or In separate lots, to suit purchasers. For further particulars apply to the undersigned.—E.BDINSLEY, Clinton. A. O. U. W. The Clinton Lodge, No. 144, meets In Biddlecontt s Hall, opposite the market, the 1st and 3rd Fridays in each utpmth. Visitors cordially. invited. It. S•rusE- Ilasi, M. W.; J. BEAN, Recorder. 0 590y Sergeon Dentist. Graduate of Royal 'College of Dental Sergeone of Ontario. Best Local Anaesthetics for painless ex- traction_ Rooms in Smith's Block op. posite P.O. 728-y. ` ttltoontr. i`tLINTON Lodge, No. 84, A. F. & A. 11. meets lJ every Friday), on or after the moon. Visit - lug brethren cordially invited. RICII HEYWOOD, w. u. OWVEN BALLARD, Sac Clinton Jan..14 1800. • MANNING & SCOTT, Barristers, cgc.. ELLIOTT'S BLCCK, - - CLINTON. Money to Loan. A. H. MANNINO. JAS. SCOTT. —I P L. 0. L. No. 710, W. J:I. OYD, BAKER and. OONFEOTIONER. Full Stock of Cakes and Confec- tionery always in stock, ONSTERS IN SEASON. - Don't fail to call when ordering pour xm4s supplies,' Our make of Bread is the beet that can he produced and is dellyered free to all parts of the town. CLINTON, Meets *acorn Monday of every month. hall, 3ad fiat, Victoria block. Visiting brethren always mads welcome. WM. \V\LRER, W. M CANTELON, Sec. TI1OS. KEAIINS, D.11. CAMPION & JOHNSTON, BARRISTERS, • - SOLICITORS., NOTARIES, GQDERICH, - - ONT• Office over Jordan's Drug Store. E. CAMPION, Q. C. M. 0, JONNSTON• 1\IONEY TO LOAN. H. J. D. COOKE, BARRISTER, tiOLICITOR, NOTARY POBLIC, C0NVEYANCdR, &C. --MONEY TO LEND. Office one door north of the ank, Q STREET, BLYTH.700 ln�lt night Jubilee Preceptory No. IR (Black Knights of Ireland) Meets In the Clinton Orange Hall, the second Wednes- day of every month, at 7.30 o'clock in the evening. Visiting Sir Knights will always receive a hearty welcome. JJAVISON & JOHNSTON, Law, Chancery, and Conveyancing. Office—West Street, next loor to Post Office, Godericb, Ont. . 97. The Eureka Bakery: Opposite the Post Office, Clinton. Cook's Flour & .Feed Store. A. 11. Toon, Worshipful Preceptor GEoxca 11AXLEY, Deputy Preceptor I'ErER. CAN'reLON, Registrar Royal Black P rete toC Y 391 Honest Value in all lines. Don't pass this established and reliable stow when you want CHOICE FAMILY FLO-U it, MEALS, GRAINS, or CURED MEATS. Quality Al and pliers as low as any in town. We give 10 lbs, et choice rolled Oatmeal tor a bushel of oats. Call and see us. Goods delivered to all parts of the town. D. COOK, - CLINTON. Bletck Knights of Ireland, Meets in the Orange Hall, Blyth, the Wednesday afteifull moon of every month. Royal Black Preceptory 315. •Di C. HAYS, Sollcttor, dc. Office, corner of 1l,• Square anti West Street, over Butler's Book Store, Goderich, Ont. 67. air Money to lend at lowest rates ol interest. jronej to goo. MONEY to lend In large or small sums of good mortgages or personal security at the lowest current rates. II. HALE, Huron et. Clinton. Clinton, Feb. 26, 1881 ly MONEY. Geo. 'Prowhill Horseshoer and General Black- smith, Albert :street, North, Clinton. JOBBING A SPECIALTY. Woodwork ironed and first class materiel and work guar,u,teed ; Perin implements and machines rebuilt and repaired. Black knights of Ireland, Meets in the Orange hall, Goderich, the Third Mon- day of every month. Visiting Knights always made welcome. W H MUItNEY, Preceptor, Goderich P 0 ,IA11ES RUSK, Registrar,•Goderich P 0 A. large amount of Private money to loan. Lowest rate of Interest C. A, HART'-^, Solicitor &c. •-• O'hhce - - • Perrin's Block. ltnlyttonaaxtng. L. S. HURON ORANGE DIRECTORY. 1892 Names of the District Masters, Primary Lodge Masters, their post office ad- dresses and date of meeting. A. M TODD, W. C. M., Clinton P. O. BIDDULPH DISTRICT. • John Neil, W.D.M., Centralia P. 0. 219—Robt. Hutchin:+ol. Greenway, Friday on or before full moon. 062 --Thos. H. Coursey, Lucan, Saturday on or before full moon. 493—Richard Hodgins, Locum, Wednes- day on or before full moon. 826—William Haggart, Grand Bend, Wed• nesday on or before full moon. 890—W. E. McRoberts, Maplegrove, Wed- nesday on or before full moon. 924—Henry Latnbroolc, Exeter, 1st Friday in each month: Saturday on 1071—John halls, Elimville, or before full moon. 1097—James Cathers, Sylvan, Monday on or before full moon. 1210—t;iibert Grieve, Moray, Thursday on or before full moon. 1343—G. Lawson, Crediton, Tuesday or before lull moon. 610—Joshua Iluxtable, Centralia, Friday on or atter full moon. GODEHICIT DISTRICT. Andrew Million, W.D.M.; Auburn Y.O. 145—Widlls Bell, Goderich, 1st Monday in each month. 153—Audrew Milian, Auburn, Friday on or before full moon. 182—Charles Tweedy, Goderich, last Tues- day in each month. I89—Adam Cautelon, ilolmesyille, Monday on or before full moon. 262—Jaynes Wells, Saltford, 3rd Wednes- day in each month. 306—Matthew Sheppard. Clinton, 1st Monday In each month. HULLETT DISTRICT. James Homey, W.l±•\l., Winthrop P.O. 710—Wm. Walker, Clinton, 2nd Monday in each mon. .t. 813—James Horsey, Winthrop, last Wed- nesday before full moon. 928—Thomas Mcllyeen, Summerhill, 1st Monday In each month. 793—Wm. Horney, Scaforth, 1st Monday In each mouth. H. W. BALL AUCTTONEER for Huron County. Sales attend- ed to In any part of the County. Address orders to Oopnntati P. 0. V-17. Photographers FOSTER & BAYLEY CLINTON. Life Size Portraits a Sneoialty, WATTl5 CO CHEMISTS & DRUCCISTS Great North sve:tern Telegraph office, Albert - - Street. - - Clinton. JOIIN - SCRU TO • hotelier and Poulterer, ALBERT STREET, CLINTON. All lines in season, highest price for Hide,, 'fallow and Sheepskin s. The Huron Otos-floor 1.810 a Year -41,26 in Advance, 1Vedne8dakY, -Mammy 4th,' 1893. 1N REPLY TO On'T REPBATED QUE:4I LUNS It mar he well til state, Soott's E nulet n 61.1,8 „s a f-, an wall me a modtoina. build- ing up ch, w't.101t tne4lee Op(1 restoring pei- ftet b,elth of er w s'ieg fever. —'Phe \luuicipal ctarke of the coli; ly nI Gley have luuu,•d a; 11$80oi,ltiuu fhb tilst !Denting was held at Oweu Sound. e_, -PROPERTY ItFOR SALE OF (le RENT.—Advertlsurs will find "The 11 News-itecord" one of the oust mediums in the County- of Huron. Advertise ie ' The News-ltecord"--The Double Circulation Talks to Thousands, hater: as low as nrv. '9'191: CELE BIL,tt 1'ED Meal WaslierA Wringer. THE BEST IN 'I'IIE MARKET. Machines Allowed 011 Trial 1 am also agent for During the, past half-centa•y—slots the discovery of Ayer's Sarsaparilia—the aver- age limit of huwan life in :rt'ilizid eountriee, bus h.uu u,x,Rttlurably iengtheuod, Ayer's Sarsaparilla is everywhere oonnfderod the standard blood purifier, thu Superior Medie- fn,, All ' Agricultural Implements Wareroom opposite Fair's Mill. Call find see ate. J. B. WEIR, CLINTON --Orange Judd, senior editor of the Orange Judd Fdrwer, el Chicago, died last week, coed 70. The p ompinoss with which Aye:'a Cherry Pew oral stops a ha. k'ng cough a xt !educes refreshing sle.ei thing marvelous. 1 t never fails to g' • e l•'Ft.,ut relief, even to the worst 0 tare of throat and lung t 9ubls, and is the best remedy fur whooping cough, —A new line of steamships is to ba established between Swinsert, Wales, and South American ports, calling at New York. There will a be fleet ot•six vessels, exclusively fur freight. QTRAY STOCK ADVER 4 J TISEMENTS inserted in Twig News Rucoao at low rates. The law makes it compulsory to advertise stray stock �1 you want any kind of advertising you will not no better than call on The News -Record. BILL. HEADS, NOTE tfe,.ds, Letter Heads, Tags, Statements, Circulars, Business Cards, Envelopes, Programmes, etc., etc.,printe'l In a workman- like manner and at low rates, at THE NEWS -RECORD on HOUSE PAINTING All persons wishing to have their houses papered and decorated inside or painted outside, in first-class style and air' moderate prices, will find it to their advantage to call on C. WILSON, Painter and Paper Hanger Shop on Rattenbtry Street 697-3m GO TO THE inion Shaving Parlor For first class Hair -Cutting and Shaving. Smith's block, opposite Post Office, J. E1IERTON, Propt•ietor. STANLEY DISTRICT: Robert Nicholson, W.U.M., Blake P. 0. 24—James Pollock, Bayfield, 2nd Saturday in each mond', 808—James Keyes, Varna, 1st Tuesday In each month. 833—Wm. Pollock, Bayfield, 1st Wednes- day In each month. 788—John Berry, Hensadl, 1st Thursday In each month. 1085—Wllllam Rathwcll, Varna, lst Thurs- day in each month, . ' Norx.—Any omissions or other errors will be promptly corrected on wriing direct to the Countv vaster. aro. A. M. To Id, Clinton P.O. KEEP IT ON 1-IAND. SIRS,—I •l•sayekeep a bottle of Hagyard'e Yellow Oil tor cute, sprains. and bruises. The kills at the 'tense use it for almost everything. I know it to be a good medic- ine, it is an excellent mollifier foe cracked or chapped hands. Clinton New Firm in the Old Stand, —The thermometer registered 35 below zero at North Bay on Monday morning. The undersigned having pnrehased the old ostablished meat businearot Mr. Arthur Conch, bogs to inform the public that he will continue it as it has heretofore, been carried on. ,..:Meats of all kinds in season. Orders taken and delivered as usual. Highest cash price paid for sheepskins, hides and tallow. 087 -tt JAMF.S A. FORD 410}-1T AND AIR? The scarecrow has Ito uses, though it dove's aid the caws any. A chopping sea decsn't seem to make much impression on the sea-btltrd. A tramp is always willing to receive a cold shoulder, but he prefers a perterhonse. Chicago Girl—What would on do if you were in my shoes'! St. Louis Girl—I'd get lost, Pm afraid. It takes two bells to start a street car, but one belle will stop it anywhere but on a crossing. It is eminently proper that the man who issues marriage licenses should be an officer of the court. Visitor—flow does the land lie out this way ? Native—It ain't the land that lies ; it's the land agents. Customer—By what do you regulate the size of your five -cent loaves? Baker—The kicks of my customers. "I'm very popular," said the chrysanthe- mum. "Nearly every man that sees mo wants to buttonhole ate." Not Guilty.—"Johnny Jinks, did you t•ow that. spitball?" Johnny—No, ma'am I in't got mine chewed yet. Jagson says that "never trust a man till you know him" is good advice, but you never know some men till you trust them. The medical men say that kleptomania is a disease. We have observed that its victims are always taking something for it. "She is very distant in her. manner." "Distant 1 Why, her disposition is so freez- ing that she is constantly taking cold from it. Edna—What do you' suppose makes Tom write such awfully gushing letters 1 Kate—Oh, I suppose he uses a fountain pen. Clara—What shall I sing for you, Jack ? Jack—Have you a song with a refrain ! Clara—Yes. Jack—Well, then, please re- frain. "Do they ring a bell to awaken you at your boarding house ?" "No, we get up when we hear the cook pounding the beef- steak. Bertie--Why did you buy this picture? It is only a flight of sparrows. Algie— Why. they are very English, don't you know, deah boy. "Did you ever find a woman's letter in your husband's pocket ?" "Yes, I found one of my own there the other day that I gave him to, mail a week." A streak of white on his mustache— No words could tell it louder, This military man so rash Fears not to face the powder. A Littie Confused.—Halfback, '91 (as he is dragged from beneath a truck -load of scrap iron that was overturned on him)— Was it a touch down? "Presbyterian are . you, Effie ?" said the elderly relative. "United Presbyterian ?" "N -not yet, auntie," whispered the blush- ing Effie," but I'm engaged." Extract from a sentimental young lady's letter : "Last night I sat in a gondola on Venice's Grand Canal drinking it all in, and life never seemed so full before." At Southsea—She—Ob,James, howgrand the sea is ! How wonderful 1 1 do so like to hear the roar of the ocean. He—So do I, Elizabeth ; please keep quiet. ALTOGETHER DISAPPEARED. DEAR Sias,--Abant three months ago I was nearly wild with headache.. I warted taking S B B, and took two bottles and my headaches have disappeared altogether now. I think it a grand medicine. Le'1T1ch Roors, Londesboro, Oat. .3. E. BLACKALL, Veterinary Surgeon, honorary graduate of Ontario Veterinary College, treats diseases of all domestic animals on the most modern and scientific principles. -Calls attended to night or day. Office ilumedlltely west of the old Royal lintel, Ontario street. Residence— Albert street, Clinton. 540-3hn —Rev. Wm. Fraser, D. D., late clerk of the general assembly of the Presbyterian church in Canada, died at 13arrie on the 25 ult,, in his 85th year. J. C. STEVENSON, Furniture Dealer, &c. THE LEADING UNDERTAKER AND FUNERAL DIRECTOR. Opposite Town Halt, - Clinton, Ont GODERICN MARBLE WORKS, VERY MUCEI PLEASBD. Slits,—I am very much pleased with the effects of Hagyard's pectoral Balsam. Our family has been grratly troubled with severe colds, pains in the chest, etc., and have been promptly relieved by this valuable medicine which we willingly recommend. CLAI A A. MCKeezrS. Clarendon Station, N. B. McKi.11op- Crowded out last weak. George Barrows met with a very severe and painful accident a few days ago. He was attending to the horses when ono of them kicked him in.the face, breaking his nose and cutting a largo gash in his cheek. A .surgeon dressed the wounds, putting in several stitches. Ile certainly had a pretty close call. Mr. Wm. Rea, teacher in section 9, McKillop, has been very ill with in- flammation of the brain. By latest,re- port he was somewhat better and we hope to soon hoar of his recovery. Mr. Thomas Grimoldby and family have moved into the house lately oc- cupied by Mr. Peter McEwen. Mr. James Bell, who was working for Mr. I•Ieal, a cattle dealer in Fuller- ton, during the past summer, has re- turned home. James is a favorite with all, and we are pleased to have him back again. J. C. Stevenson, Furniture Dealer, Clinton, le our agent for Clinton and vicinity. W. M. Mohrini , of Benmiller, is our Travelling agent. Orders entrusted to either of the above aril! have our best attention. Monuments supplied in CANADIAN, SCOTCH, SWEDE, NORWAY and AMERICAN granites. a well as In all varieties of marble. Give lIr, Steytnson a call before ordering else• where. JOIIN A. ROBERTSON. Manager, ALLAN LINE ROYAL MAIL STEAMSiiIPS. REDUCTION iN RATES. Steamers sail regularly from Portland and Halifax to Liverpool via Londonderry DURING THE 1VINTER MONTHS. Cabin, $40 and upward.. Second Cabin, $25. Steerage at low rates. No •attlo carried, STATES4 ) SERVICE OF ALLAN LINE.' STEAM SII IPS. NEW YORK AND GLASGOW via Londonderry, every Fortnight. Cabin, $40 and upwards. Second Cabin, 825. Steerage at low ratos. Apply to 11. & A. ALLAN, Montreal ; or to A. 0. I'ATTISON or WM. JACI(SON, Clinton. Mr, Robert Ingram, a former resi- dent of the Leadbury line, but who his been living in Michigan' for a number of years, has been passing a few days visiting relatives and friends around here. Miss Younge—Why do you not marry, Colonel ? Col. Oldboy—Oh, there are lots of good fish in the sea. Miss Y. --But don't you think the bait is a little stale? Lady (to tramp)—How old are you, my man ? Tramp -1 don't know, ma'am ; you see, I was so young the first few years of my life I couldn't count, so I lost track. "Who is the belle tonight i" asked she, As th4 stood on the ball room floor : He looked around the room to see, And she speaks to him no more. Mr. Jone,f, of Seaforlh, has leased the hotel at Leadbury lately occupied by Mr. McNamara. Mr. Jones is a social and sensible man and we be- speak for the house a fair share of patronage. At time of writing we understand that it has not been decided whether there will he a vote taken in regard to a Douse of Refuge in this township. Wo think it is nothing to the credit of the people of this county having post poned this question so long and so often. Let the ratepayers of the township act like mon, copy the ex- ample set by the towns and villages and show to the world at large that they ,aro prepared to look after and care for their poor and unfortunate ones. Mr. and Mrs, Robert Gray treated a number of their friends to an oyster supper a few even lege ago. There was about tweuty guests present and a pleasant evening was spent. Mr. Grey and his excellent wife, by their courteous manner, made the entire company feet perfectly at home. 4-e;, l,ut feed itwith ftcott's F`:ytt :ion. Feeding the cold kills it, and no 'ane can afford to have a cough or culd,acute and leading to ,consumption, lurking around flint. Of pure Norwegian Cod Ltver Oil and IIf/p o 1tospltites 1 strengthens Weak Lungs, checks all Wasting Diseases and is a' remarkable\ Flesh Producer. Almost as Palatable as. Milk, Prepared only by 6cott,k Bowno, Bollevilla. tumour m.914o0ee1....M.•Wvearocn.a.vH.ao�-a,..•• - prox DR. WOOD'S Not All Alike.—First Boy—Do all office- holders get big salaries? Second Boy—No. • Some hold positions of honor. "Don't they get anything ?" `-Only what they steal." "Ah ! there goes Chris and his mother." "So I see," "What a popular flower they would make !" "Why so?" "Because they might be described as Chris -an' -the -mum. See ?" "These are hard times!" sighed the young collector of bills. "Every place I went to- day I was requested to call again but one, and that was when I dropped in to see my girl." - Little boy—Don't Quakers ever fight ? Mamma—No, my dear. Little boy (after reflection)—I should think it would be awful hard for a real big Quaker to be a Quaker. The Reverse of Romance.—Publisher—Ia your novel realistic? Author—It is. The hero and the heroine get married in the firat chapter and are unhappy ever after- ward. Shoving Him Off.—George—I'm 'afraid Ethel doesn't love me any more. Jack— What makes you think so? George— Last night she introduced me to her chaperon. His Parting Shot.—He—But couldn't you learn to love me, Ida? She—I don't think I could, George. He (reaching for his hat)—It is as I feared ! You are too old to learn! Critical Stiggins (watching the Harvard Sample Bottles lec ;Regular size $1. foot ball eleven at practice—They didn't For sale bynil dealers. hold on to that last V long enough. Im- pecunious Jenkins—I have made the same mistake myself. "Could you make it convenient to lend Ls) ;some distinction." "How is that ?" "One f:4 . to $ A CURE FOR DYSPEPSIA. In investigating the cause of this prevalent complaint it is found to rest principally in wrong motion of the stomach and impurity of the Blood. These ,exciting oaneee are easily removed by Lho`'�$'egulating, purifying and digestive effects orilurdnek Blond Bit- tern, hence the euceoes of B. B. B. in curing dyspepsia in any fort;, no matter of how long standing or how severe it may be. fy1p�����/[[�,/y�,,��1t�� Z• u �y,�qp� 0��'r' orway V ay A , iine Syru o Riclt in the lun;-healing virtues oitho Pine :ornbined with the soot.hilie• en,l expectorant Iroperties of other pectoral herbs and barks. • Al PERFECT CURE Fort COUGHS AND 001....D8 1•Ioarseness, Asthma, Bronchitis, Sore Throat 'roup and all THROAT, BRONCHIAL and .UNG DISEASES. Obstinate coughs which •osist other remedies yield promptly to this Ileasant piny syrup. PRICE 2oC. AND 1`00. P,8:s EIOTTLE. GOt') pr. r 1 C r,...r.,..,,T9s.asv�IO�, uimreo�v HUMPH YS This PRECIOUS OINTMENT is the triumph of Scientific Medicine. Nothing has ever been produced to equal or compare with it as a CURATIVE and HEALING APPLICATION. It has been • used over 4o years, and always affords relief and always gives satisfaction. For Piles—External or Internal, Blind or Bleeding ; Fistula in Ano ; Itching or Bleeding of the Rectum. . The relief is immediate—the cure certain. WITCH HAZEL OiL For Burns, Scalds and Ulceration and Contraction fronlTiurns. The relief is instant --the healing wonderful and unequaled. For Boils, ITot Tumors, Ulcers. Fistulas, Old Sores, Itching Eruptions, Chafing or Scald Head. It is Infallible. For Inflamed or Caked Breasts and Sore Nipples. It is invaluable. Price, 50 Cents. Trial sire, •25 Cents. Sold by PrnrrIsts, Or sent pool -geld on -ec.11•1 nr peke. HUMPltRREYS' PIED. CO., 1 110 118 wlttlne, 81., NEW YORE. CURES PILES. • WELLS k RICH ARDSON Co. Ago MONTREAL THE KEY TO HEALTH .T exci Unlocks -11 the c',•g r 4L •f n t towels, KiQaela 1tnd..L:v::. r:.r,hiri n9 gradually „i tlwul 9vr•.•.i..•o: •y.1, It,, ail the iinpuriiies ao•1 6 „1 Ix, - .•f tht secretions; at the s.,nu•.l'n,.• CC':.-CCting Acid:ty of the Stlreach, , nr.1.;, BiL- ouSncS., ),y3po1JS:a __,J.:br11:°-s 11:z ziness, IHearttura, CrrF.titatirn, Dryness of the Skin. 1)vnrn '• n,m- ness of Vision, Ja In @ice 5 •a t J•;1v t:ri., Erysipelas, Scro.`u'a, Flutteei:;g of the Heart, Nervousness ed Cer_eral. Debility; all tht•s.t nml u..,n.•1.tl:er simi- lar Complaints virld t.) the h,1,m' it tlucnco of BURDOCK BLOOD BITTERS. r. MILEIJlt?i .8 ('O., l'roprlede('s.'Foronls' 4-1 L+ 4 �, tin ' me 5100, Jack ?" "I don't know. If I 0 U % O . should lend it to you ,I should be a man of 0 to out of a hundred." U :.� N ^� 01 0 0. An Impossible Event.—"They say Chollv T1 W rA 0 .o has softening of the brain." "I cannot (n X 'b .—. 0 ' Cr C conceive it possible." "Why not?" "J3e- t...l u ''d 'm e Pa4 cause his brain cannot become any softer (� O f , w z than it always has been." [� �, a. ,.( C rn r, Congratulations.—Tailor—Mr. Overdue, �f I hear that you aro about to be married to rQ .W d e +S Mies Bullion. Allow me to congratulate • •,,, u 1 • you. Overdue (extending his hand)—Allow 1.� I-. a fn /� o, 0 me to congratulate you ! yr ',.�, •4:-.... h+'-1 •a G Tom—You ought to have been to the A ^,3 0 RS A•►-+ � c�I,a z u theatre with us last night. Awfully funny. We roared with laughter the whole time. Harry—Between the acts, too ? Tom-• No ; then we smiled. An Obstacle.—Mrs. Upton Flatt—Bridg- et, have you lighted the drawing room fire yet ? Bridget (from the kitchen)—No, mum ; I'm waitin' for yez to git up and fowld up the bid so I can git t'rough. The Riding Master—Have you (earned to trot yet, Miss Manley? Miss Manley—Oh, yes : I could trot all right if it werent for the horse. The plaguey thing keeps jogging up and down so. Husband—How much did you spend to- day ? Wife—Seventy-six dollars and seven- teen cents. Husband (ironically)--Wa8 that all ? Wife (with an injured air)—That was all I had. "Do you enjoy a nice bird ?" asked tho obtuse young man as they came out of the theater. "Yes, replied the girl with an ap- petite. "Well, 1'll introduce you to my atint. She has some lovely canaries." "Do yon believe in tho transmigration ala, Joe ?" "What's that, sir!" "Wily, ee for instance, that that cow has had a prior existence in another form—perhaps been a —1 N 'P11 F,-- being like myself." "Oh, no dbt the cow's �� - tCO �At calf.'do"`777 ru