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The Huron News-Record, 1892-01-13, Page 7elm -Record et4re1te3 ' til 'tom 18 Tito 11$92'+, 1,• their holee'r, eeeuMsd' the Seine Ott, tache vie the first, and were evident.. 'ly charmed. "BY *levet 1)(191. they:csino out drovoe, auld sit v that the vicinity, way alive with, 'them, long oxo. r•XR perienoe With these',' reptiles. hada. �.,I1x1,, • EBt ts,O IVI't'l-,n,yrr1,' •, .e,afibtifo,Ttfnn 1 I't A '14441 ONPPQ d -`t . r . �p e ,td..lco one:. (lute,: I d iia° a p t t , lGrpntit puncher, :As:gha roll . a htgarette with, •et deftness born A a %.9'pg:preatiaet and tatting a few rrtiwiiJettte- e f d, htms 1. co"wfortAbly ' LA :11ie sect. . . . Xn ox cation* • ' l ako ... a• wg , `. - kT tnalree ;gine .Ecol ciuger, when. ' ar..it,`•and•.if' ye 'ffllo.we u." d., like, toy hear •it' .I: will tel '1t e'w§re`on "the oaetevn• bound ;• train 'Ott;,tie;.;) s itoba'Road.,lt few Miles Ontof Benton, and.,a sllgh saottaiptau,e,of„a few, days'previous >itt the city had `q';'iokly passed into la feelipg";of 4o'un eahip,that is in- herent in eyery luau; who has lived aUy" `length ;;of time in the 3Vost, nay# a:,ivtitor in the Spokane Citron- 4QZO.. My 'newly nlade" friend has been ,' for '- Many years a " cow- punCli'erl"`'lina° had left that huei- • usss as tlio ooturUry'1iad rapidly eel- ' t.1,04 'µp and,. was now, running a !land'"-of.shoifp,:-on the 'Malicia River, in ,North, Montan°a; Ho was on his way'eaat to, see his People and have 4.good titne,'and as ho chatted in a blteozyt wholesome way that was "c'hart i lig, -Y" filled my memory `with somo.of hie yarns, and this, I 'think; was the most striking of sttrein:all', . "I aea6 working for the J. Y. out - 'fit," • he bogey, ` "and we had just .gone ,.on'the 'epring round -up, and were• working on the Son River range. We were camped this day of any adventure at'Whielcy Brown's,' `.right; =under" Square butte, on the 4. ''4rld Stage road to Helena and a few -.billed from Fort Shaw and tho Sun '$iver`croyeins,` There was a good spring:there.which Brown used in exrrigating hie ranch, .and the round- up always;`camped at that place a ly( ay or` two while the surrounding Feountry ;wao` worked. Our horse- -herder`was sick, and each outfit had Theca' •furniehing a man to herd as their'turn, came. ; This day it was ours;,.a%�d';,I''Wae the man. I took the 'handl, -From the night harder about.`$.30 bathe morning, and after '.ithe -bops, had 'caught their horses und Int` them feed around the spring awhile,so -that all could drink if :.they wished , and then drove them `.about half'a mile -down where the -grass was, better. "It was a•lovely day in the latter p it of May, sun juet warm enough to aloe a fellow feel lazy, and see - tit that, _;ll ' the band had settled ' -de n. _ to feed and none were root- :less- t got -off my.horse, and taking -off the bridl:1dave him a chance to fill up.' -. Then I sat down, half re- clining .on my arm, so that I could este every; horse and the whole ooun- try before me. Tho ground that I eooculated was nearly the : highest point around, and the view was a glorious ono. To the east miles ' away lay the Belt mountains, further • on tha`Little,.Rockies; to the north ii good '150 miles were the Sweet '!:(`areas hills, the three buttes loom; up bright"and distinct in that clear atmosphere, while back of me ..-to 'the !vest were the mighty Rocky anouritaine, with plenty of snow .on thelr`.lofty heights, dotted here' and there with patches of timber that in contrast with their snowy back-. .ground looked almost purple. Tho title and plains were covered with nature"e bright carpet, relieved with frequent dashes of early wild flowers, as though sown by the <, hind of the master gardener to ,;prove his wonderful skill in malting this wilderness of seven months a paradioe :during five, I could mark ' • the course of its black banks, 'where the mighty Miseotfri rolls down to theaea,''and in my mind I followed this greatest of rivers down,' down t housands of miles to the sea and up the Coast where my little ones lived,.. and boys I got—melan- -Choly, so taking out a email mouth organ or harmonica, which instru- • neat in those days was a great fav- orite among cowpunchers, 1 began to play. ""I have heard some play on this instrument who would make a pro- fessional uneasy for his laurels. I watt a fairly good performer, and be- ing in, as I said, a tender mood, I gave vent to my feelings in 'Home, Sweet Home.' Then I went into what I considered my masterpiece, beginning 'Hear me, .Norma.' I played softly and slowly, and had got to 'At thy ,fest behold,' and *vh'. the boys always called for— tlia ie, when I hoard a low rattl- ing, lookingdown a fe ` Y w 'Ibg, .and feet below mo I saw a largo rattlesnake colied,.°with his head slowly eway- ing to and fro; and evidently enjoy- ing the music. ` � 0' "Ah,- 'ha l thought I, here's a take that appreciates operatic ini'sio. And. as I had oflon read of the 'power music° is supposed to have over snakes of 'all kinds I de- t,`srmiiied .. to keep on playing and see what it would do,. ad I finished 'Norma' and went over it again; 'but this' snake was soon joined by otherai.'who, at they crawled out of ix ado ine iaetlgelble to fear of them, and worked up `Fay tilo novelty„Af n the thing'and the egaitoment of 805.. i'hg an wapy of',these powerful de, eta'oyors eubjegi) to Guy will, I forgot , all, about my personal safety and. kept on playing, and enjoying onceI �sto ed,; and 'the -be n pp � ,gP angry ,rattling and a quick disap eareneo of teeny, ,but they subsid;± s• ed and. all came 'back back' as, sutnod... I ,gave; them aire.front the :,Bohemian ir1' varied •.with. Osl 1 "Devire Dream, ifrs, llioLeod'e. Reel,' and'lhe Girt Irma: Behind Me,' and they readily responded with their swaying heads to the diferent time. But the tune that seemed to please them most was the 'Suwaueo River,' and one big fellow in particular, on whom I counted twelve rattles, got so Oh. cited .- cited that -his leaps and twists had brought him within a few feet of where I sat.. Thea ho suddenly quieted down and his head just bare- ly came down above' hie coil, while his tail slowly rattled in time with the music. "Then I caught his gaze - and, boys, I was fairly fascinated by the look I saw there. I believe this talk of snakes charming people to be all fancy but in the eyes of this rattler that were fastened on mine there was s'tch a wicked, cold, devilish, fiendish stare that 1 fairly shivered, and moved my band around to get my pistol to take a shot at him. I was sitting up now, with my back almost touching a small ridge of rocks. Still keeping my harp in my left hand, I was on the point of pulling my gun from the scabbard when a low, intense voice a few yards behind me eaid: "Don't move, Jim, for God's sake, and keep on playing. There's a big rattler within six inches of your nock and another close to your hand. Keep on playing until the boys come up. I'm all alone and can't help you." "I knew the voice to be that of my boss, Wallace, and from its tones I was in great danger, and for a moment I faltered, and in that moment I could feel the cold body of the snake as it came in contact with my hand; but, although I felt like yelling and jumping up, I knew that would mean death, for quicker than any living thing ex- cepting- the cat, is the movement of a rattle snake as it strikes. "So I sat still and kept on play- ing the `Suwanee River,' where I heartily wished I was. Every few seconds—they eeemed years to me —Wallace would whisper, 'Keep up your nerve, old man, the boys are `almost here. - There's lots of whisky in camp if you're bitten. Don't stop playing or you're a goner,' and other cheerful words, at which, serious as the occasion was, I almost felt like laughing, so wrought up was I. "Still I kept up the 'Suwanee River.' My tongue got dry and my lips almost_ refused to ebape the notes. On I kept until the•'Suwa- nee River' had run into a perfect muddle of extemporizing, the like of which no one ever heard before from a rhouth organ. I tried to ,get -back on -to some air I°knew 'but" although I know my life depended upon keeping the snakes quiet by the music, I could not remember a single thing, and had reaehed the state when all Icould bring out of the harp was the noise made as I drew and repelled my breath. "As the terrible discord reached the snakes a change came over them, and I could see my big enemy in front preparing to strike and heard the one at my hand rat- tle ominously, when a low 'Now, boys,' and a:deafening report be- hind me came and I saw the big one in front part company with ite head, and then I fainted and knew nothing more till I felt something red hot going down my throat and came to to find my head supported on Wallace'e knee, and one of the boys pouring whisky into me out of a pint sup, and the bodies of a half dozen snakes lay wiggling close by: o- 'The fellow by° my hand had bitten mo, but as I drank about three pints of ranch whisky the two poisons had a fight for it -and whisky came out ahead, I was sick for a couple of days, but felt no other bad effects from the bite. Here it is on my thumb. I have never tried to charm any more rat- tlesnakes, and the sound of 'Suwa- nee River' gives me the horrors."— Sara Francisco Chronicle. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. Edward Hanlan, Champion Oarsman ; says : 'Tor muscular paine, in the limbo, I have found St. Jaoobe Oil a re- liable remedy. Its resulte are the most beneficial, and I hove pleasure in recom- mending it from personal exporienoe." The best anodyne and expectorant for the care of oelds and coughs and all throat, lung, and bronchial troubles, is, undoubtedly, Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. As your druggist for it, and at the same time. for Ayer's Almanac, whioh la free to all. c Garte "Nes tw. re two cbt4d la, like these orrery it beeutrd set Iov$ct as fleetly .fwenlyn. a grave Ag lrvoe'a deep uureet. They Were but phildrens-.jjoyottr, tree, And I thought tea barna to toil " 0fthe 'sten* Of eternal, fatr►e'ot'sang . ,that the pew.( tint? aQ .well," BO time we O4 they'bett'ariie New dew's* In.,wouaan's Yeti And l saw th+ltr eyes had'a,dee er'l1ght, And thole', gnianeele,tgtror gt't'yP; fled, Bva *"bona"r' a figwel+•of gold A flower to sun the night But Gweulyu; air the springsBrst Moon That makes the end -heart -light Ana light an4 gl d. with wondrous love My pad heart quickly grew, And the merry sweet sprang and youth .. 1~7a 1e all,old things seem, new, And yet a little while, and then— And then the end was point: + ,.And 0wenlyn'n was the way of light, - And mine was the way of,$1oom, TRAPPING WIDOW ROSE, .. Whereas there be many who, from the very lack of well -tondo and beneficent, uncles, are in great straits and know not whither to look for assistance, and Whereas, we ere blessed with abundance,. and have aothingr in particular to do, Resolved; 1, That we adopt the world as a Nephew, for the purpose of.rendering, collectively, an Uncles care to such as do most sorely need the same, etc. The above is an extract from the Consti- tution of the Uncle's Club of New York. The club was composed of twoscore of the jolliest old jolly fellows, —practical men, men of leisure, favorites of fortune, but all, practical. They believed that noth- ing in the world was without its use, if one only chose to use it, Having contemplated human affliction from this point of view they found it quali- fied to afford amusement and gratification to the club, and treated it accordingly. Once a week they met, to amuse them- selves with the woes of others. Once a week they dined together royally—the Unelea--in luxurious rooms. The business ofethe club was done after dinner. In a cloud of smoke the secretary read communications from members. When‘a member found a man in distress, debt, hard luck, that man, deserving or not, was reported to the Uncles. And as the secretary read, pictures of sorrow and trouble drawn in the light and shade of humor and pathos, floated in the fragrant smoke-cloud—pictures that took richer hues and warmer tints from the club's good wine, that went merrily round the while. Then when the Uncle's hearts were warm with good cheer, chock were drawn and signed, ways and means considered, com- mittees appointed, and, ere the next meet- ing, all the aforesaid troubles were as far as possible relieved—many turned to posi- tive rejooing. With infinite tact and delicacy the work° was done, men too proud to take help from their own brothers would find their diffi- culties, as it seemed, miraculously removed. Debts would suddenly be paid, favorite plans (almost given up for sheer hopeless- ness and discouragement) would become easy of accomplishment, a poor man strug- gling with misfortune would find the foe yielding when it had seemed strongest. After those reports had been read and disposed of, cattle the reports of commit- tees of the previous week, and the Un- cles chuckled and roared with mirth and satisfaction, as they heard how Trotter had looked when the bills one after another came—all reeeipted—to his office, or. how. Downes had; congratulated himself on the consummate ability with which he had managed his last deal, or how old Mas. Murphy, on her knees, had thanked St. Bridget for "puttin' a new pfig in the sty in me absince, an' the ould wan sould for Tint," --all being in fact duo to the timely help of the merry Uncles. And if they met with iltgratitude here and there (for some people will be ungrate- ful on general priuciples, even though they know not to whom they shall be so), they laughed the louder; after all they had done it for their own amusement. So they dined, and the gods were their guests. Wit and Art were there, and Wisdom, and free -hearted Mirth. And hand in hand with Bacchus in his merriest snood carte the Chtistiau Graces —for Bacchus in good company is no pot - house deity but an inspiring influence—and the Graces disdain not the feasts of men of And the secretary �rvead as follows : S " EOieOMraH, Nov. 16. "DEAR OLD Bova,—I. don't know when this letter will roach you, for the snow, in spite of the beautiful•climate attributed to the Puget Sound forests, is four feet deep on the trail, and we are seventeen good miles—bad miles, I mean—eleven • by land six by water, from the post office, and the storm that's smashing through the tops of the big trees, three hundred feet overhead, means more snow; and mord' snow means a flooded trail for several days after the first thaw, for the Skokomish drains a large part of the east side of the Olympic Range, and is a sort of wet tornado when it rises. "It's lonely here, awfully lonely, in the shadow of these huge mountains among the white columns of the trees—white because the snow has clung ,to the moss and they loop like enormous marble pillars, holding up the mass of storm -clouds. In fact, it's like a gigantic cemetery, which makes it semi-torri-fic. It is so lonely that the snor- ing of Jackson in the next room (for this cabin has two whole rooms in it), snoring, which under ordinary circumstance would support a plea in justification of homicide— is here a welcome and companionable sound. And, speaking of Jackson, he's the Object ofaidsletter. -If there ever was an'unfoi-=- tunate wretch, it's Jackson. 1 recommend him unhesitatingly for adoption, on the fol- lowing grounds: Jackson is deeply -s --but the less said about that, the more (which means that the less I say about it now, the more I shall by and by). To begin with, Jackson is ,the best shot in the Shokomislr Bot- tom, and a skilful trapper. He is ter- ribly hard up; for the game has all gond down to the coast on account of the inclemency, to put it gently, of the win• ter, Jackson—`Three-.Fingered Jackson,' we call him, for obvious causes—would go there also, if it were not that he has good reason of his owf—and some one else's— for staying here, and he can't even go off to work in a logging camp, which is the settler's usual resource when fish and game give out. "He is a thoroughly good fellow when sober; and as the heavy snow caught him at the bottom of bottle, and as we have been snowed up over sinoc—living, by the way on salt bear, which I don't like—he's been sober for some time. And even when it't otherwise he', not bad. "Every day he takes his rifle and goes out. -So do I. And sometimes he brings home a bit of game, but it doesn't last long, and then we fall back on salt bear, of which there seems to be an unfailing supply. Every day ho goes the round of his treps, and bis invariable answer when asked alboe bl� tltl eeentfit r+f, What th,�alttieboy 1i11oG alt, i",l'he,itttlo bey lu t uQot's% h legendary and proverbial; end is sltklioeeel to have Sb' °? at "nptlllu'« r: "� 4 te to^ the, reason of Jtro!i'sorts rltay b bare, the Widow 1%s) islreeponitble. .,, pretty, ;little woman of about twenty-prre, "with two gbildren, wba would be the deathof !Host methors, left to take care of herself' Rand hhueembai4n4 twhLa.bklae inktd wiinlderohgsigacttpp year and ti half scot by a i4elline tree, flee little +ane? eaervhioheshe'icae a in p. tri r o - e' _ p r is about a railexlewn the x'tyer from. here.. .Jackson -;goes steer every,; :day (et help her, Milk the cows, get in wood, eto., end her lonlinefie and .utter helplessness $m c¢se' of accidentkeep him from going away. Be. .$ides, a*1 I. was saying When internipted,; Jackspl)<la deeply, emitter; with the'lady. a S hi ii knotee it, btdoesy't oecoura hiii utl- vauces, because 1 e'nbver • Makes any' and/ , I (;B ink, fo R n4; othttt `reueoii..,:,, ; • I hasn't got,two hits. 10• m auto'' n , soya. Ja,pkson, `that's what I ',ain't.. And she's get a . goad `little , ranch es ever you 'see, and lq won't be called no fortaua- hunter by no man. If I could just lay up A bit-- but how can I leave her sit' thorn two kid$stay •all �alone iii this bit o' timber, an' go off toget work? That's what? , .And she" Ain't a:owliero else to go to,' Iii fact Jacksoh is too proud•-tormarry Mrs. Rose, bringhe can give her as good as oho "Boys, the candidate for your avuncular protgetion needs it, and, which is rare, de- serves it. • "If we can manage toad him up injuring that same pride of his, and it don't take much in the woods here to make a rich than, he'll have no scruples about ask- ing the Widow Rose. Thou—unless I'm greatly mistaken in the lady's feelings—the children will -have a father, and the helpless women a husband, and Jackson will have all he wants in this world, and, counting the children, perhaps a 'little more. "If we can only get him into possession of a small sum-, he'll marry the girl at once, and there will bo joy on the banks of the Skokomish. I hope to hear from you soon- er or later, and will do all in my power to further any good turns you may care to do Jackson. (It he knew I had written this, I'd'have to sleep in a snowdrift.) "Your obedient servant, J. M. P. ' "To the Uncles, at the Uncles' Club, N.Y. City." As the secretary fell comfortably baok in his chair, there arose a murmur of appro- bation. Ono of the best cases the Uncles had met - with for some time. Moved and seconded that J. M. P. be fined for the pun on cemetery—amount to be left to hie own conscience, and to be ex- pended as he should see fit for the benefit of Jackson. Carried. Moved and seconded tha1-Three-Fingered Jackson of Skokomish, and the Widow Rose of Skokomish be formally adopted, and that a fund bq'sent to J. M. P. for the purpose of enabling him to extend the Avun- cular Protection to the Nephew and Niece so adopted. Carried unanimously, with acclamation. _ And far into the right the Uncles laughed and sang and chatted, and by and by they rolled away to home and bed. CHAPTER II. There had been a flood on the Skoko- mish. A hundred mountains had poured the wash of their snow -clad sides with its canons and the river had overleaped its bounds and swept the snow froin the trail and the low land. Now, receding again it had left the banks clear, but still roared lustily between its rocky walls, and thun-, dered a great peal of angry laughter to the mountains," and the mountains thundered back and called one to another with re- sounding voice*, and the, forests shook with their mirth. ...Well up the river trail walked the Widow Rose, behind her with a bag now nearly emy, the representative of the Uncle's Clu� "Did you know that Jackson couldn't ye lad away froni you ?" he was saying to etre "Here's the best trap.but one," said she. "Now, truly, Mrs. Rose," said he, "don't you think he's a aplendid fellow ? You Can't find a better man nor a stronger in all Washington—and mighty few bigger—and then see how he's stayed right here and looked after you and the children this winter—" 'Well, if he can't live away from me, as you were sayin' how can he help livin' here? I ain't nowhere else," said the Widow Rose. "And as for bein' a fine man, he may be all you say—and a good deal more—and hi -is the best shot in Mason j County, card 'the beet-liearted (Mari in or out of it, maybe ; but as for me likin' him, ho ain't nevn asked me to, and I've no use for a man as :ain't say what he means. And if he's as good a feller as you said, he'd do as much for any woman as he has for me, so that don't prove not•hin'." "Don't you know he's afraid to ask you because he has nothing, and you have a ranch, and he thinks it would seem—" "Oh, bother 1" said she ; "these things don't count, an' if he had plain sense he'd know that much." "Why won't you make it easy for him in some way?" said the Uncle pleadingly. "Give him a good chance to speak, just to see what he'll say," he added, offering as strong an induceinent as he could to the feminine mind. "This," said the Widow Rose, agnin, "is the last trap hut one. You can put that parcel in this one, an' watch from that holler stump—au' 1'11 do on to the next, which it ai.,'t fur off, with the rest o' ycr things there, an' join ye when he's gone back. It's about time he came along -so get a move on." So saying she took the bag and went on. He took from his pocket a fat envelope marked : " Three -Fingered Jackson, +From his affectionate Uncles," snapped the trap on one of its corners, and hid in the stump. About this time an immensely tall fellow, broad and sinewy, with his rifle on his shoulder, wee coming up the trail. "Looks like somethin' had been there," said he reflectively. "Can't see no tracks though—snow's washed off and the' trail froze. ' Then he stopped to look at his first trap. "Sprung," said he, "an' by all that's mighty—what kinder bird is that ? Well, now, that'll make Hatty an' the kidsagood dinner, but I never see no turkey here be- fore." Stopping at the next trap he was further surprised to find a sucking pig in splendid order. "Bald-headed bolonon's beard 1" said lie ; "there's a hen an' pig ranch 1 rope loose up en the mountains Borne place. But here's this feller already butchered an"ready for pork. Well, some one's a-playin' it on rte, an' it can't be helped, an' I'm 'bilged to him. It's that feller from the Eaet—that's what it is, au' I don't know where he's gone, nor where his home is—an' he left here this mornin' early. Well—God lakes him—he always was a good fellow, only he didn't' know much," ' The next trap had captured a beautiful Winchester --tile result, together with a belt and much ammunition, of J. M. P's. fine ; the next, a fine Smith and Wesson ; the next, a good knife. r4'.t'lie felliite"it a" tallItaelefiinetniatit rllwl ' Neu, nen*.if' hat4 .offetrwd toglese, mostletwe • blugs,atny ether way; f wouidn't a, took. ern 1 ,butleondn' !n attk trap*.it !metas dif. ferent' *omow1 all a , e w.w. good feller"„ A fur pap Wee lit the neettr trap, and 'AA, Pa put it on without:04%4mur,;. The ,lent. co}ttained an eiivelppe seals;("; • "Theee•I'ingeted Tacitddp,' "„Vroan his aifeetlonate`Ileol,r:'"' A apor ii ids enol; airetlter• ertyelilne, .• now all mewl* these preeeets. "Th t wa, she: U,nptq's Club" .of New Yorks el .k,,�tr torah acknoerled' e:ae'�n r••b. loved Nephew, pro• tern:;. hree*p' erect ,'aoltspn of .Skokoineiln aufl beg, ,bun to accept the, eaolpsed es a +nark of Four wi%etten �' Vile 'Was sealed with the sealef thel7ltele''e Club --an ant dreeeed in neesculltie; Attire and it Was eigued; with forty names. .kind. the, inner envelope eeettained u roll of; bills, ere thousand dollars,-4for tho,TJncles did well by their edeptell, ^d'(iat sunt is a large 'fprtuu'g •on the SkOkptnish. The Uncle watched from the stump. "Jackson was staggered for a moment. Then he Sat down on the trail and road .the letter over and over, Then he- counted, th,e roll of hills. Ile opened his mouth., and. shut it again. At last he said:. •- "Well, I never knew I had no Uncles— hut as this here/fine says, I" might know it now -.-by these presents!" and he went on; up the trail. ' The Uncle crept from the stump, and fol- lowed stealthily, at sou,.o distance. Pres- ently the trapper stopped, befor'o a great rock whose base wassurrounded with brush. Man is never satisfied. The more you give him, the more he wants. "Now comes the last trap," said Jackson. "I wish that I might find Hatty in it -- seems like I could ask her, now." ,The Uncle heard a rustle in the brush, and the aharp snap of a sprung bear -trap. " Bear," said Jackson ; and forgetting for the moment the fruits of his adoption, Hatty—all but the game—sprang to the rock, and,stopped. Tho Uncle crept after him and peered through the leafless bushes. Under the rock was as pretty a grotto as a nymph of ice and winter could wish for a home. Tim ledge overhung; and long, thick icicles like supporting -pillars. reached the ground on either side. From the top. and front, where a cleft gave them a place, hung ferns and grasaos, frozen into a thick fringe of ice. In this cave atgod the Widow Rose, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with excitement, hat off, and. her thick hair torn from its restraining ribbon by the bushes, falling iii rich dark masses to her knees. 'Beside the grotto, open- mouthed, wide•eyed, astonished beyond the usual power of man to be astonished, stood Jackson, his rifle at his feet, his hand halt - lifted, still and dumb with amazement. "Well, you big booby, can't you help a lady off your bear -Crap, or ain't you got nc manners? or are you too stuck on yourself in your new hat to think of anythin' else? He'e I am caught in your horrid old trap, an' my fingers too numb to do anything and I can't get my feet on the springs." Jackson grasped the situation --and the woman. The Uncle, satisfied and unwil- ling to intrude, departed by stealth' and took the trail for Hoodsport,--neat Skoktimish, where his „baggage awaited him. At the next meeting bnt one of the Uncles' Club, ho reported in person, and gained several pounds in weight. Aa to the couple on the Skokomish, ere Hatty's skirt was free from the trap, her fingers were no longer numb, and Three -Fingered Jackson had promise of happiness. And the two coming home along the trail met the parson from the Reservation, who had come over at once on the Unole's representations. When the news was 'received, there was mirth at the Uncle's Club, and the health of the Jackson's was drunk thrice over. "Not forgetting the lads, gentlemen," said the president, as an excuse for another. Small Change. There are 40,000 Irish in Liverpool. The word lady literally means loaf - giver. A bee does not weigh the 100th part of an ounce. is Sneezing was onoo thought to be a sign of good luck. There are nine kilted battalions in the British army. Blotting paper ie made of cotton raga boiled in soda. The profits of the Suez Canal exceed $7,500,000 yearly. There are thirty-eight letters ietho Rus- sian alphabet. Tho Cunard Line of steainshipl employs over 11,000 hands.' -Forty-eight-different-languages are said :.to be spoken in Mexico. Sixteen tons of steel pens are exported from Birmingham weekly. A recruiting sergeant says that few mon have legs of equal lehgth. From le to 2 bushels of wheat are requir- ed to plant an acro of land. An English Ministry lasts on an average for three and a quarter yawns. English manufacturers sell every year over 5,000,000 hats in the Parisauarkot. A London omnibus traverses about eighty miles a day, and earns $80 a week. A ship described as A 1 Lloyd's means "the best of hulls -with the best of furni- ture." A Women's Query. I am a. woman, Therefore to be wooed; A woman', Therefore to be won; A woman, Thereafter—ah, who knows What smiles or tears, What hopes or fears, What love or hate, What divine fate Shall crown the head Of woman weed and won,and wed? Deserved a Medal. Mr. Richard Redgrave, the artist, records in his diary this amusing recommendation from an Irishman appointed to examine students competing for medals : I should also recommend Margaret — for a reward. Being very young, she nat- urally missed the point of all the questions in the papers, but her answers were do ladylike that I think the medal should be given to her. Round the Republic. A typical wanderer has stopped tempor- arily at Dallas. IIe has travelled for four- teen years, crossed the country from New York to San Francisco, worked his way through South America, and has been a fireman, a policeman, a railroad man, a sport, a drummer and a soldier. He says the world has used him pretty well so far, and that he intends to wander around until he dies. Mew Through a Winnow. A large hawk a few days ago in Creag- erstown, Va., flow through a large window with a chicken in its talons, breaking a heavy pane of glass in its passage, and fell on the floor of a room, where it was cap- tured atter a severe struggle. The chiei;en was scarcely injured. J. '+*ilius; of peettlf.rtties ot"° . apfietitert► aeida citizen in conaer*a- lion, . i4 .'1CJ1QW u'.n $u ir+ho be* q;ot eaten alnotithlta 9t oleo iii' vege; . %ariau, eis�r�dried ,titP" . "�; ° Ile . took a; euddeni'clielfker to Meat of any kind( and e,Ve` up eating it. ,i3ut hecould not tell' himyeif what eauyed'•;the,,efiehge Goa bieappotitoo aNyWife can never"eafan ad etert"'' oeidolae present, 4< without her 'ek'n. Breaking out in purple s ots``rase large Gia ditties. 'She P. a u- g fa le no uu• easiness, hat naturally does not likes b) be spotted like a leopard.'" "1 way acquainted with a woman, out west," said Another of the party "who•bioke out with pricicly beat. whenever she saw or tasted goat's milk cheese. Hen husband brought' some into the house end,hid it in a aupbeerd. When she approhuhod it she began to shiver, and declared that she felf the strange prickly, sensation, "WI did not know that there was uo cheese in. the house I should think it was that,' elle said, an& then her husbaud acknowledged. that he had done it to teat her. The physiological effect satisfied. him that it was not in the imagina- tion."—Chicago Herald. HE TAUGHT VERACITY TO ELI PERKINS. - We had a man in my native town, said Eli Perking at the Press Club dinner, whom we all call Uncle Bank. He was a man with a vivid imagination. He was, perhaps, present, company excepted, the. most stupendous prevaricator in central New York. I remember, before I went oil to college that Uncle Bank used to just daze us boys with his stupendous stories.. Well, after cultivating my own im- agination for four years and finally graduating, I came back home with an idea that when Uncle Hank commenced calling me some of his big lies, I would talk him' down. As soon as I saw him he -com- menced to toll me about the potato - bugs in his garden, "Gaol many- of them, Miele Hank 1" I asked. "Good many of em 1" he repeated nontemptuously. "Why, I oonted 462 potato bugs on ono stalk in one field this morning, and inthe other field they had eaten up all the vines, fences, trees, and woes sitting around oil=' the clouds waiting for me to plant the second crop." "Why, sir," he continued as he wiped his glasses on a red bandana handkerchief, "I had potato bugs walk right into my kitchen, march right up to a red-hot stove and yank red-hot potatoes right out of the oven, and---" "0, Uncle Hank !" I expostulat- ed. - "Fact, sir, and I wasn't surprised at all. But I will admit," said the old man, as if his conscience was a little touched, "that I. was a little surprised when I went into Town- send's store and saw potato bugs crawling all Townsend's books to see who'd bought seed potatoes for next year.,' "0, Mr. Allen, this is impossible 1" I said. "Impossible?" he said, "why nothing is impossible with a Log City potaty bug. They're tough, I tell you. Why, old Gifford captur- ed an ordinary potato bug in my garden yesterday and boiled it nine hours, and it swam around on top all the time !" "Indeed ! why, you do astound me." "Yes, and my wife put a potato bug in a kerosene lamp and kept it there for four years and, if my memory does not fail me, it hatched out twenty-seven litters of potato bugs right in the kerosene." "And you saw all thia, Mr. Allen —saw it yourself 1" I said, utterly bewildered. "Saw it 1" why six yerrs ago° 1t took one of our ordinary potato bugs into Wood's iron foundry and dropped it into a ladle filled with melted iron and had it run into a skillet. "0, Uncle Ilank, you are deceiv-° ing ns 1'' "No, I wouldn't deceive an int fant," and Uncle Hank placed his hand upon his heart. "But there was more about this potato bug," said the old man reflectingly. "Lot's see, 0, as I was sayin', nay old woman, if I remember correctly, used that skittle for six years, and here the other day she broke it all to smash and what do you think 1" "Why, what eau I think 1" I asked in astoniehment. "Why, that ere insect just walked right out of his holo, whore he'd been lyin' like a frog in a rook, and made tracks for his old roost on the potato vines—But," he added by way of parenthesis, "by ginger, he looked mighty pale 1" With his thumb, a boy is said to have saved the Netherlands from inundation. Many people have been Bayed from the invasion of disease by a bottle of Ayer's Sareaparille. This medioine imparts tcns to the aystom and strengthens every or- gan and "fibro of the body. t es es