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The Huron News-Record, 1891-09-30, Page 6cUge o IS not only a distressing complaint, of itself, but, by causing the blood to become depraved and the system en- feebled, nfeebled, is the parent of innumerable maladies. That Ayer's Sarsaparilla is the best cure /or Indigestion, evert when complicated with Liver Complaint, is proved by the following testimony from Mrs. Joseph Lake, of Brockway Centre, Mtch.: — "Liver complaint and indigestion made my life a burden and came near ending my existence. For more than four years I suffered untold agony, was reduced almost to a skeleton, and hardly bad strength to drag myself about. All kinds of food distressed me, and only the most delicate could be digested at all. Within the time mentioned several physicians treated me without giving re- lief. Nothing that I took seemed to do any permanent good until I commenced the use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla, which has produced wonderful results. Soon after commencing to take the Sarsapa- rilla I could see an improvement in my condition. My appetite began to return and with it came th8 ability to digest all the food taken, my strength im- proved each day, and after a few months of faithful attention to your directions. I found myself a well woman, able to attend to all household duties. The medicine has given me a new lease of life." Ayer's Sarsaparilla, PREPARED BY Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. Price $1; Ws bottles, $5. Worth $5 a bottle. TimHuron News-Recora 1.50 a Year—$1.25 in Advance Wednesday. Sept. 30th. 1891 0, THOSE GRIT PURISTS! The Globe quite truly says, "Many crimes have been committed by pol- iticians in this couutry since 1872, but in no instance has anyone suf- fered at the hands of the law." The following historical events happen - 'ed during those years when the Grits were inpower and yet, though many of the culprits were found guilty, not only were they not pun- ished but actually whitewashed by a Grit majority in the.11ouse or at the polls :— No less than thirty Grit members were unseated after the election of 1874, in which the Grit party under- took, to use Mr. Mackenzie's words, to "elevate the standard of public morality." The methods which they employ- ed are now matters of notoriety. Hon. George Brown, writing to Hou. John Simpson, president of Ontario Bank, urged him to "come down handsomely, as we have done all that we possibly could, and we must ask a few outsiders to help us." Simpson came down handsomely. and in return his bank received a large deposit of Government funds without interest. The inimitable Mr. Madiver's in- vitation : "Come along, John ; come and help put down bribery and cur ruption ; we've lots of money. So come along !" was the practical ap- peal made to every Canadian con stituoncy by the Grit candidates who followed Mr, Mackenzie's for- tunes. "I mesmerized them in batches of fifteen and sixteen and turned a hundred that night at Glen's," said the honorable John Situp son, "When I go into an election I go in to win, and don't care a d ---n what it costs," said the practical Reformer, Mr. Parry, the chairman of a Grit conven. tion. "I shall strive fo elevate the standard of public morality," said M1'. Mackenzie ; but among the thirty Grit members unseated were H. H, Cook lyao Admitted that he spent $32,000 in his constituency ; Major Walker, of Loudon, who ex- pended $25,000; M. C. Cameron, of Huron, who expended from $10,- 000 to $14,04; Hon. Malcolm Cameron, of Russell, who spent $6,- 000 ; Patrick Hughes, who spent $17,500 to defeat "that fellow Plumb," in Niagara; and in Cham- bly, where Mr. Jordoin was unseat- ed and disqualified, it was proved that he had contributed $20,000 to a corruption fund under the manage. men\ of Mr. Laflamme, whom the Grits made their Minister of Jus- tice. was net read in the House of Cow - moue, becsuers the tuetnbete were summoned tie attend at the bar of the Senate at the moment that the report was presented, and the pro- rogation stopped all proceedings. The Mackenzie Government passed a Whitewashing Bill, which reliev• ed all offending members who were "bo.odlore," under the Independence of Parliament Acts from the penal- ties, In the recess both Vail and Anglin resigned their seats in the House, but were reelected. Then, also, the Mackenzie Gov- ernment bought from Cooper, Fair - man & Co. 25,000 tons of steel rails, only tendering for from five to ten thousand tons, deliverable at Mon- treal and the same quantity deliver- allle at Duluth. The latter were not taken, yet Cooper, Fairman & Co. supplied 25,000 tons, of which 15,- 000 tone were supplied without competition. They furnished 5,000 for Vancouver Island without corn petition, and 5,000 tons were taken from another firm also without com- petition at ten shillings per tou below Cooper, Fairman & Co's price. The explanation of this transaction at the time was that the Government wished to get the cheaper rails out of the way of Coop- er, Fairman & Co. The difference in the price of the rails bought from Cooper & Fairman, and the price for which the same quantity of rails could have been purchased, delivered in Canada in 1877, was was $1,138,000. The timber limits granted to H. Cook in the North- west amounted to 200 square miles, to be selected at his discretion along the Saskatchewan River, The grant was made by lion. D. Mills, Minis• ter of the Interior in the Mackenzie Government- It was cancelled by the the Government of Sir John Macdonald in 1878. Grants . of land in the North-west to Cart Wright and M. C. Cameron were nut interfered with and these gentlemen are reported to have made $65,000 each which should have gone into the public treasury. And they made it by the very policy, the con- struction of the Canadian Pacific Railway, which they contended was going to ruin the country. These Grit ra.cais were turned out of office by an indignant people in 1878, but the revelations since made in the Election Courts show that they have the audacity to ask the electors to turn out the present Government and place the puhlio funds under their control. GUDEIUCH FALL SHOW. PRIZE TAKERS. GRAIN AND FIELD CROPS. Field Grains, Etc.—Clawson or Seneca fall wheat, Sam'l Furse. Democrat fall wheat, Henry Curwen, 1' R Wallis, Joseph Whitely. White, T R Wallis, H Curwen. Red or amber, Isaac Salkeld, S Furse, Henry Salkeld. Spring, Colorado, H Curwen, John Salkeld, I Salkeld. Lost Nation or White Russian, Mo - Hardy Bros, W C Potter. Spring, any other variety, John Salkeld, W C Potter, Henry Salkeld, Six rowed barley, Isaac Salkeld. Two rowed barley, Henry Curwen, John Salk- eld. Large peas, S Furse, Jas Tabb. Small, S Furse, 1' R Wallis. White oats, H Curwen. Black, I Salkeld. Flax seed, J Salkeld, 1 Salkeld. Timothy, S L Scott,J Salkeld. Clover seed, Sturdy Bros, I Salkeld. Collection of grain in the straw, grown by the exhibitor, H. Curwen, II Salkeld, S Furse. Long red mangold, Geo Green, J W Salkeld. Globe mangol-1, H. Cur - wen, Sheriff Gibbons. Swede turnips, S Furse, H Cut' - wen. Field carrots, long red, Sheriff Gibbons. White belgian, H Curwen, Sheriff Gibbons. Anions, Chas Chisholm, Alex Kirk- bride. Field corn, Sheriff Gibbons, .J Salk- eld. Largest pumpkin, Win. Warnock, Nicholas Morrish. Largest squash, Wm Warnock, J Salkeld. Mr. Vail, the Minister of Militia in the Mackenzie Government, was a partner with Mr. Jones, a member pf Pariiamentt in a printing con- traet ahlounting to X25.000, This Willi a violation of the Independence of Parliament Act, which was brought before the notice of the House. Mr. T. W. Anglin, tie; Speaker udder the Mackenzie re- - gime, eat four aseaiona in the House `while a contractor with the Poet Of- fice and other Departments. He re- ceived under such contracts the sum of $20,000. He was tried under the rules of Parliament, before the Committee of Privileges and Elec- tions, of which Hon. Mr. Blake, Minister of Justice, was a member. The Committee sat for a number of days, and it was finally decided that Mr. Anglin's contract was illegal, and that his gest- be .decl-ated .va:. cant. 'Putty an extraordinary pro- ceeding on the part of the Govern- ment, the report of the Committee to DAIRY PRODUCTS. 'I able butter, salted, Nicholas Mor- rish, Mrs. Harvey Howell, J 0 Stew- art. Table butter, salted, rolls or in prints, Nicholas Morrish, Wm Swat-, field, Mrs iI Howell. Tub or crock of salt butter, \V Swaffield, 'Phos Hamiiton, Mrs Howell. Ten pounds of salt butter, Mrs Howell, Thea Hamilton, W Swaffield. Cheese, 50 pounds, factory made, Sarni Bissett. Cheese, 12 pounds, home made, Jas Symington, S Bissett. Butter, 2 fir - kine, made at butter factory or creamery, 40 pounds each, Geo Watt, John Hannah, Se,�(prth, John ,lannah, Gltrieriol, w., Wagner, Jobla Andrews, Mre W Elliott. Blenheim Pippin, W Way. not*, S L Scott. Ben Davie, John And rime, John Salkold, Swarr, Stur• dy Bros. Hawthornden, Robert Mc- Lean, Mrs W Elliott. Canada Red, Judge Toms, James Gordon. Swazae Pomme Grise, isaao Salkeld, A Bing- hiam. Pomme Grise, Samuel Furze, D A Purvis. Mann, Sturdy Bros, Joseph Whitely. Ontario, James Gordon, Henry Curwen. Snow, Jobn Porter, Wm McLean. Gravenstein, Judge Toms, S L Scott. St Lawrence, S L &tett, J J Fisher. 20 oz Pippin, Glenn Bros, John Porter. Beauty of Kent, Glen Bros, John Salkeld. Fall Pippin, Joseph Morris, Nicholas Morrish. Blue Pearmin, Andrews Bros. Duchess of Oldenburg, S Furse, John Stewart. Any other kind, named, winter, John Porter, W J Harris. Any other kind, nam- ed, fall, J 0 Stewart, Sturdy Bros. Crab Apples, Fred Hunt, Sturdy Bros. Quinces, John Andrews, Wm Stewart. Seedling Apple, W J Har- ris, Geo W Andrews. PEARS. Six varieties, John Stewart, John Salkeld. Three varieties, Mrs \V Elliott, John Andrews. Bartlett, Win Warnock, John Salkeld. Flem- ish Beauty, W Swaffield, W U Jones. Vicar of Wakefield, N 0 Jones, Henry Curwen. Duchess D'Augou- lame, Alex Seunders, Henry Curwen. Belle Lucrative, John Stewart, A Bingham. Louis Bonnie De Jersey, Horace Horton, Alex Saunders. Beurre D'Anjou, W 0 Jones, Henry Curwen. White Doyenne, Wm Mc- Lean, John Andrews. Grey Doyenne, Henry Curwen, Wm McLean. Beurre Bose, S Furse, A Bingham. Shel- don, A Drysdale, J T Dickson. Winter Neils, John Andrews, Fred Hunt. Beurre Clairgeon, .John Stewart, A Bingham. Howell,James Dickson jr, John Andrews. Seckel, Henry Curwen, John Andrews, Clapp's Favorite, Horace Horton, Win. McLean. Lawrence, A Bing- ham, H Horton. Buffam, Geo W Andrews, W O Jones. Josephine De Malines, A Bingham. Keiffer, John Stewart, .John Salkeld. Any other variety, Wm. Stewart, Sturdy Bros. hRCIT. Apples.—Ten.varietles, fohn Stew- art, John Andrews, Isaac Salkeld. Six varieties, winter, J W Salkeld, J 0 Stewart, Mrs W Elliott. Six varie- ties, cooking, S L Scott, J Salkeld, Mrs W Elliott. Six varieties, des- sert, Mrs W Elliott, Joseph Whitely, S L Scott. Northern Spy, Isaac Salk - old, J W Salkeld. Rhode Island Greening, John Stewart, J T Dickson. Ballwin, Andrews Bros. Isaac Salk. eld King of Tompkins County, Glenn Brost Isaac Salkeld. Spitzen- burg )Esopus, W J Harris, Mrs W Elliott. Fallswater, Thoe Beattie, Andrews Bros. Roxbury Russett, John Porter, John Stewart. Hobe, 'Itardson'ir Nieutf'0151; °-W -Tteld. American Golden Russett, Joseph Whitely, John Stewart. Ribston Pippin, John Stewart, Sturdy Bros. •4.4444.44043$103441140=60014646;WAS.0110•410,46 PLUMS. Washington, W Stewart, J T Salk- eld. Bradshaw, C A Humber, Win. Stewart. Pond's seedling, Win Mc- Lean, James Tabb. Victoria, Wm. Stewart, Peter Fox. McLaughlan, Jas Gordon, Wm McLean. Yellow egg, John Stewart, Jas Whitely. Dane's purple, Wm Stewart, Mrs R W McKenzie. Lombard, Mrs R \y McKenzie, Wm Stewart. Jefferson, Alex Saunders. General Hand, Wm McLean, Coe's Golden drop, Peter Fox, Geo Sheppard, Peach, Geo Sheppard, Peter Fox. Green gage, Joe Whitely, Goderich, Wm Stew- art. Any other variety, named, Wm. Stewart. IIAGGART ON Ills DEFENCE, HE REPLIES TO LISTER AND CAMERON. Ottawa, Sept. 23.—Mr. .Lister moved his resolution condemnatory of Postutaster-General Hae,gart ire the House at 3.30. The select coin, mit tee nominated by•I,int is composed of Mills, Edgar, Barron, Lister (lat- ter without right to vote), Dickey, Wood (Brockville), Girou,rrd, Mc- Leod; four Conservatives and three Reformers. I-Iaggart was received with Geyer nment applause when he rose to re- ply to Lister's allegations He opened by giving an explicit, and flat denial to the whole state- ment. He had heard the same charge in 1850 AND HAD ON OATH denied the charges made against him. He read his evidence given before the Royal Commission ap• pointed to deal with Section B scandals, in which he had explicit- ly denied that he had ever had any internee in any contract, or that • he had ever received any money from any centracter for any services real or putative. He reviewed the let- ting of the contract to Fraser, Gladen at Co., and the firm mention- ed in Lister's methyl. At the solie. it,,tion of Mr. McLlree he had ar- ranged the Decupiary difficulties be- tween two duns, BUT NEVER tow ANY MONEY. He had been interested with Mr. McLaren in other business, but was careful to keel) out of Government contracts. The only money be ever got from•.AlcLaren was his travelling and hotel expenses. This would not amount to $1,500 for five years. Mr. IIaggart had heard that Mc• Laren was going to Virgina to -day, and had imine lately wired him at Perth to stay at home. He would be down to -night, and Mr. I-laggart would then have a statutory declara- tion made, which would corroborate his statements, SiR JOHN TIIOSfPSON said there wear l,eculier features in the OAP. The House should in justice to itself consider what limit there should be to charges of this kind and trespasses on the jurisdic- tion of the House. Parliament did not want to try charges in which one or two members were interested. it was essential to every consti- tuency in the country that the House should keep to its own bulli. nese. The heated state of political feeling in the last few months had been English E3ouerr of Centimetre that such matters vt old only be opened whin ocuurenuee bad Leen of recent date. He asked Parliament to d.•. Gide on its own jurisdiction in the affair. 1f Hageart in 1879 forfeited his seat he bad since been elected to another. If a member forfeited his seat by any illegal course of action, when he was re-elected, he took his place without any stigma being cant upou-hiw. He cited wan) inetancee of chit. The LENGTH OF THE SESSION also rendered a lunger sitting ex- tremely undesirable. The member for West Lambton wanted the House to believe that a matter which had kept for twelve years would not keep for four months longer. IIad the matter come up early in the session he would have been glad to have had it looked into, although the whole affair was but an insinua- tion against a bygone Government. He moved in amendment, seconded by Ifon. Mr. Chapleau, that the House should now proceed to the orders of the day, virtually throwing out the motion. Laurier replied. He considered that the plea of the lateness of the session was not valid, and a plea of inexpediency should not be. The question was one of right and duty. He disagreed with Sir John Thomp- son's claim that the question was out of the House's jurisdiction. In England the House of Commons would not tolerate such a charge without fully inquiring into it. He appealed to the sense of justice of the administration to allow the in- vestigation to proceed. It was only four or five days ago that Lister got information which induced him to set on foot the inquiry. McCarthy spoke, strongly supporting Thomps son's amendment. The motion will be voted down. IRELAND IMPROVING. HOME RULE, LIQUOR AND PRIESTLY INFLUENCE. au.lnllrr serituree were started and hill -it, Of course, itt'Belfeet, there are iimiler oRe large establishments, soiree ewploa log as many as 3,000 hands. There are no Pruteritauts to speak of in Lire South. There are it, the North. That makes touch differences, `Lite simple Gospel would du a great deal for 1r -eland." LITTLE SIaEBEENISbi, MANY LICENSES. "No, thole is not touch shebeen• iso, now, but the liquor evil ises-cry wi,Uerprratt. In Armagh, with an - der 10,000 population, there are 65 Ur 70 licen,etl piitcl•e. I Lave seen 16 Public houses lir eftuall Lowrie of sever' or eight hundred people. All the Roman Catholic tnagi,traire vote for license after license. The Nationalists go iu fur more licenses, constantly. In some parts of the South and Weet there is a 'public' for every eighth or tenth house. Ireland's bill for Sunday closing is not very stringent. The 'Bona Fide Traveller' bill matte it almost a dead letter, The latter bill was to the effect that necessary refreshment could be provided for bona fide tra vellers, who had travelled over three miles on the day in question. Thus anyone could get what he wanted by walking or travelling three wiles. There is an amendment to make the distance six milea. 'l'be liquor trade is • a tremendous curse to Ireland." Montreal witness. Mr. Robert Clark, a magistrate for the Counties of Tyrone and Ar- magh, Ireland, was in Montreal last week. He is a lay delegate to the Methodist Ecumenical Conference at Washington. He says the Horne Rule sentiment is dying out ; the present state of the party is killing it. The O'Shea care brought the trouble to a point. Now, everything is improving. "If the agitators would only keep still, Ireland would he all right," he said to a reporter. "The Irish have more liberty than any other people ; the only liberty they lack is the liberty to kill and boycott their neighbors. What is wanted is firm government, The new land bill will do good. Tenants can own their own homes in forty-nine years by paying less than their rent. PARNELL AND PARNELLISil are losing ground. In the North of Ireland, Parnell has always been looked upon as an adventurer. He went into the cause a poor man, and now lie is well off. He is a bad landlord himself, holding lands, thought not in his own name. In the North they said, •We will never get Home Rule through this man.' In England they said, 'The Nation aliets cannot keep from 'iota at their elections, and how would they rule a country I` It was as if John Bull were the head of a workshop with one hundred loyal, hard-working laborers, and three hundred kickers; would he listen when the three bun dred asked for changes in the place, or let them control it in any way ? Pernnlli:tui has been a regular swins die for many years. It would die in a very Short time if the contri- butions front American servant girls stopped. The present member of Parliament for Armagh was a tailor earning rt few shillings a week. He was nominated by Parnell and placed in Parliament with the money of American seryants. INFLUENCE OF THE PRIESTS, "While the Land Bill will do a great deal, we hope to have a Bill shortly which will do away with priests at the polls. A large pro- portion of the yatere in the south Cannot write their owe names. The priests are at the polls and see the illiterate electors' votes made out. If they will not votes as the priests say they are often refused the rites of the church. The priests are losing their influence to some ex- tent, however, as Parnell polled 2,000 votes in some places in defi- ance of there—a thing that would not have been possible some years ago." PROVOCATIVE OF CHARGES some of them foundationless. The leader of the Hohrugilt. ,(son,__ 'Ereiffeii`Wouuse-,ld find on examining the charges that, a most important question of privilege arose. It was laid down by the Speaker of the IN THE SOUTH. "What is the condition of the people in the south ?" "An illustration may answer as completely as anything could. A spinning mill was started in Cork, employing some 500 people. It ran for a while, but had to'elose down A PRISON CHAPLAIN'S STORY. The Rev. G. P. Merrick, chaplain of Her Majesty's Prison, Millbank, has recently bean telling the world of what he has been learned concern- ing that unfortunate class, known as "abandoned women." Daring the years be has been engaged in his melanoboly work more than one hundred thousand persons belonging to this class have passed through a single prison. It has been Mr. Merrick's custom to make shorthand notes of such° facts as his charge might be disposed to narrate con- cerning herself and her circum. stances. Of more than one hundred thousand biographical records thus obtained, sixteen thousand, taken consecutively are considered in the pamphlet. Of these 13,915 led an immoral life ; 12030 and upwards were sent to prison, directly or in- directly, through drink ; 2,106 had been married ; 3,237 could neither read nor write while the attainments of 5,397 other were of the most elementary character. Of 14,790 whose trade or occupation is given 8,000 came frpin the ranks of domes- tic servants ; 1,050 were barmaids ; 183, governesses; 2,667 needle - women ; ],617 trade girls ; 166, street vendors ; 228, theatre and music hall attaches ; and 838 deposed that they had no calling. Contrary to the popular view that the East End of London is the cradle, and school, and home of the majority of thieves, drunkards and fallen women, Mr. Merrick states that "in spite of its poverty, its destitution, its misery and squalor, it has a smaller criminal and dissolute population, not in com- parison, but in fact, than any other large area in London." Moreover instead of the majority of the outcasts being the victims of men's brutal lust and heartless abandonment as some had supposed or as others' claim that it is usually a choice ,be•, tween starvation and the streets, our author shows that of 16,022 cases 1,636 were betrayed under a promise of marriage, while upwards of 11,000 were led away by such allurements as : nothing to do ;" "perfect liber- ty" and as they say "being a lady." Mr, Merrick testifies that the rate of mortality among these poor creatures is terribly high, the average duration of a "life on the streets" being about three 'years and six months. '\'hat the book constitutes a pathetic tale, and draws a gloomy picture few will dispute. The gloom is somewhat re• lieved, however, by the fact that, contrary to the prevalent view, many of these poor creatures are reclaimed and restored to a decent and orderly life. Says Mr. - Merrick ; "Alto. gether, 1 must have in my possession thousands of letters of a pleasant character, from those who were once in a prison cell, but who are now in various walks of life, earning for themselves a good report." ROMANCE OF A COTTON • FIELD. HOW A MAIDEN WHO WAS TRUE TO A P.0011 STRANGER WON A RICH HUSBAND. • There settled near Austell, Geor- gia, somewhat over a year ago, a poor German named Richard Horn- ing. He was an honest, hard working farm laborer, and won the respect and confidence of all who knew him. Mr. Horning received but little attention from the girls in the settlement, but there was one poor girl. Mies O'Shielde, who was always kind and attentive to the stranger and tAl eiir f_r andehi.p.,. fealty-.-on..accaunt, of: the- gmitir-trtrn`I'- 'rIgdh ` 'i pbaeti Tito rove. But as her of holidays in the Irish year. both were poor matrimony was not Sometimes there are one or two thought of. Like Horning, Mise holidays a week. The mill could 4•'0'Shiolds had to work in the field not wait on the holidays. Several I and of course her education was E1tri IjiUr . R t r'or- Eest'res Croy t:alr to ito OTIGIGAlJ Color, L•,.,auty tend $oftnetisa Kei i o 112 a 1 Wean Cool and f: eu frt.n. F.:a :c:ruffs Cures Irritat:cri and Itch .,' cf ti -.e Scalp! Gives a beeuti: t.! nio... ..: 1. llama tap the hair, prudt.cx,, n w . v. and wit sstofr. the failing out in a tet. date. \ti ill nut scat tile skin or .t t w ..ealeireas: FuLL boxrn=° Try it and he convinced. Price Fifty C..-.se.,e: 2.l tt:e. I.,,Yeme 411 SubatituteS. EOL: AGENT POR C:..NADA H. SPENCER CASE Chemist, Nu, 50 King Street West Tie mason. (\uteri°. Sold b y J. H. COMBE. $9A® i3 A LAZ3-Y and Com- l7�/ r mieeion to Agent,, Men and Women, Teacher, and Clergymen, to introduce a new and popular standard book, Testimony of 19 Centuries to Jesus of Nazareth. The most remarkable religious book of the age, written by B00 eminent scholars, Nou-sectarian. Every Christian wants it. Exclusive territory given. Apply to THE HENRY HILL PUBLISHING CO., Norwich, Couu. neglected. She was pretty, and with a quick, bright mind. One day, a few months since a letter with a foreign stamp arrived at the Austell Postoffice for Richard Horning. It announced to him the death of his father iu Germany and that he was sole heir to 3,000,- 000 marks, or nearly three quarters of a million dollars. Mr. Horning visited Germany, had no trouble in getting his fortune and returned to Austell last week a rich man. Of course this change in his condition made a marked change also in the - reception accorded him. But his heart was still true to the little maiden who had been his friend when he was a pour strauger in a strange laud and so he made her his wife. Miss O'Sirields was taken from the cotton field and arrayed in silk and line lipen and surrounded by all the luxuries that wealth could buy. IIer husband says that he intends to send her to the .best schools in the old world and have given to his wife a finish- ed education to tit her for life and society suitable to her changed. condition. "GENTLE AS THP: SUMMER i BREEZE." "I'd rather take a thr:.shing any time than a dose of pills," ti.t.aaed a patient to whom the doctor hall prescribed phys- ic. "I'd as lief be sick with whit ails me now as to be sick with the pills," "I don't think you've taken any of the pills I prescribe, or you wouldn't dread the prescription so," laughed the doctor. "I never use the oIii, inside twisters you have in mind, I use Dr. Pierce's Pleas- ant Pellets. They always make me think of a part of an old hymn— mild and lovely, Gentle as the eunr.ner breeze.' The best thing of the kind ever invented, No danger of their making you sick You'll hardly know you've taken them. I vtouldn't use any other in my practice." WORSE OFF THAN THE PRODIGAL. In an alloy off Hastings street,• just back of a tumble down rookery, a member of the sanitary police squad found a man lying under a• wagon, and inquired if ho was ill. The man pointed to the old house,. cautioning the officer to speak low, and replied : "I'm- the husband of the woman you see hanging out clothes over there."' "And why are you hiding here 1" "I've been orf on a spree for a whole week," "A114 I see. It is the return of the prodigal." "Wiles than that, sir. The prodigal had nu wife, and he didn't steal the rent money to get drunk on. Oh, I'll catch it, sir, if you. don't intercede for me." "But what can I do ?" "You slip around to the front of the house and say that you have• news for her. Watch her face and see how she takes it. Then tell her it is about me. \Vatch and see if she gets white around the mouth. Tell her that you have news that I was drowned at the ferry>dock. Watch her tears at this point. Tell her that I called her dear name as went down for the last time. Watch and see if that melts her. If I can get her all broken down and overcome I'll bu'st in on her and get her forgiveness before shire_.' gets over wiping her eyes and pul- ling het nose. Go, now, and I'll owe you a debt of gratitude all my life. I think Maly will melt under soft words." The officer slipped around and told the wife that her husband was, hiding in the alley, and then took a position where he could witness what followed. He had hardly se- cured it when the man came down the alley on a gallop, followed at a short distance by the wife, armed with a hoe handle. There were no words spoken, but the man simply threw up clouds of duet with his ` le e i -e jiii1 Ott the steam, an ae he passed the officer he somewhat curtly observed : "Ah I but he ain't worth shucks at the melting business."