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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1891-06-10, Page 6T:. a,a The Huron ows-Rocord 1140 Tater-41.45. iR 44v*tge 'Weainputit><ar ;nue, ria rl. von, Tl (1OQ1 UQTOR iaASSI' D THE BOY. 'I'll have to charge you for that boy, madam,' Saki the conductor of a westbound train theother day, as hepunched the ticket of a sharp - featured woman of middle age and held out his hand for the additional fare. 'What jor 1' she asked ,'He's more than 6 years old. Iia looks as if lie were 15.' 'Ain't you Jack Saniploton that used to live down in Streator about eight years ago 1' inquired the wotaan eyeing him keenly. 'Yee. What of it V 'Utted to buy your butter and milk of Widow James?' '1 believe I'did.' 'I'm the \\ridden Samos. Recol- lect the last jar of butter you got of ante—the one you was going to pay for inside of ten days 1' 'Why—Mrs. James, didn't— didn't That jar of butter, Mr. Staple- hain't been paid fur yet, and boy lacked about a month of 5 year old when you got it. he go V goes, madam; said the cou- rts he passed on with a mile. oy is probably large for ton, this bein' Dons 'He dilutor, sickly a 'The his age.' MARRIED He was in tion on the indifference a women when wife was using ly. "Mary !" said doing !" "Shorthand ing John," she said as he glared at her "Yon talk a g being consistent, Jo never find fault exc greatest' provouation. to lead you a few extr notebook. This is report of a brief conve took place night before "'Mary, where in th my slippers V " 'Just where you left dear.' "'Where I.left 'ern, eh you're a fine wife. Too- bu nine' around millinery shops 'em by my easy chair, where reach 'eel, I suapose. Where leave 'em 1 Come, trot 'ora and be quick about it. The ide making lee go chasing all over measly house after slippers wh l'in all tired out. Don't you ca anything for me V "'What's the matter, John 1' "'Matter 1 Matter, Mrs. Blin- kins 1 Some inspired idiot has put my slippers right in the middle of the floor for ale to stumble over. Started to look for 'em and nearly fell on the top of my head. Some people haven't got sense enough to last a canary bird over night.' "'Why, John, you said—' "'Oh, of course. I said to put 'em where I could step on 'em and roll over and break my neck. That's just like mo, but if you'll just leave 'em iu the same place every night, I'll get 'ein without crippling myself' for life.' "To -night, John, you started in like this: "'Mary, I suppose you've put those slippers of mine in the cellar, or under the kitchen range, or somewhere. You can find more blamed fool hiding places for 'em than any one I know. Here I've been hunting for 'em for fifteen minutes. You couldn't find 'ern with a search warrant. If you've got brains enough to grasp one single idea I wish you'd— "And then, John, you noticed I was taking notes and stopped. If you will go on---" But John slam mod the paper into a corner, kinked over a chair, and exclaimed in disgust: "Well, that's the last time I'll marry my typewriter." Now he's trying to explain his last remark. HIS TYPEWRITER. the midst of a disserta- woes of man and the nd thoughtlessness of he noticed that his a pencil industrious - he, "what are you your remarks, quietly. Then, she continued : .eat deal about hn, and say you �l t under the I should like acts from my a verbatim rsation that last : under are hem, my Well, sy run - to put I can did I out a of his e>1 re Saturday, land 4014 Antra 4tayilt too, 1414.. We ilad euoh :fun. that did nut notice' bow 1100' tbe eon was "to setting, and I was vfiry much afraid I might* meet .0 trunk)." "Did, you' nicer any cue r . nq * ed Maggie. i1Q44e cc4rlr, 'w'itto, noting the prey' ens Of a oak, inspected: an, Qyaaron (duty, sand repotted the matter lto •0enerat Filler,. the 091114ator of ;Metope. Tho official at 0400 Order - ea baggage alai cask to -be ,sunt to 1120 .cuetotl: bouee .for examination, uJohnnietes. and regu:ated,that the iltieaionariea. �Io one b t Jo h .n ie. would give hint n ,Pall ate. $Qat .art He wee coming down the hilt they returned tn. Salem. • The whistling, and with a big water suSyicious mit TOO taken to the,, melon under „his arm. I was p scared at first, but when 1 Paw who it was I got over it," At„teceaa, Maggie said to Mary Ford: "Kitty told me that she saw Johnnie Gates carrying a great big watermelon on Saturday evening. Wonder where be got it and what he -is going to de with it." Before school, Mary whispered to Sallie Bates :• — "Johnnie Gatea was seen marry- ing a big watermelon on Saturday evouiug. I Wonder if he got it honestly." "Mr. Hart's melon patch was robbed about that time ; maybe that's where it came from," auswer- ed Sallie." At noon Sallie told Susan and Jennie. "I know something, and I'll toll you if you won't breathe it to a soul." "Oh, no, we won't," cried both girls in ono breath ; "what is it 1 "Why, Johnnie Gates robbed Mr. Hart's melon patch one night last week." "Oh, dear. isn't that awful 1" exclaimed Susie. "I always thought that Johnnie was not so much better than the rest of us, for all he made believe was so honest," said Jennie. "He couldn't have done it alone," Sallie said. Whereupon Jennie hastened to a group of school girls who were in the house, and told them "Johnnie Gates and' a lot of other boys robbed Mr. Hart's melon patch and destroyed all they could not carry away'" Just at that moment Johnnie himself came iu whistling, and looking like auythiug but a thief. "Oh, girls get together quick ; I've got something for you, and it's most school time. HOW SLANDER GROWS. PSALMS 101 : 5—" Wlloso PRIVILY SLANDERETII BIS NEIGHBOR, HIM WiLL I OUT OFF." Not infregnently do slanderous and lying lips cause infinite harm and misery to entirely innocent neighbors in a community. The following sitnple story from an exchange, very effectively illus- trates how slanderous reports grow from an utterly foundationleas be- ginning :— As Kitty Coleman and Maggie Weir were going to school one Board, leaving their belongings at morning, Kitty said : the Lafayette Hotel. There they -._ waf; neer a� nc o F`ro'a's Iasi- atiracF,e�"'fiie ai�en'litin `oT n- ciis€tiiii The girl.; looked at each other, and with little movements of dis- gust turned away. "Why what's the matter with you all? Hurry up, as the bell will ring 1" cried Johnnie. "We know what you've got. Johnnie Gates," apoke up Sallie, "•;.ud we don't want any of your stolen melon, and I think you should be ashamed of yourself." "Who says I stole a melon 1" cried Johnnie iu an excited tone ; ' I guess he'd better not tell me so. I was over at Uncle Henry's, Satur- day night, and he gave me a splen- did, one, and I saved it on purpose to give you all some ; but if that is the way you are talking about me, you may do without." "Well," said ono of the girls, that is what I heard, anyway." "Who told you 1 I'd like to know " Then all began to talk at once. and became so excited that they did not notice that their teacher was in the room until she spoke to Johnnie, asking him .to explain the enure of the confusion. Then she carefully examined into the matter until she found that it all came from Kitty Coleman saying that she had snot Johnnie with a melon. custom -house yard, the byn k1194 ed out, a proof .glace'needed to find out what kind of liquor wan inside, in order to fix tbe duty ou it. They all tasted—collector, deputy, collec- tor, naval officer, inspector, and a tribe of hangers-on. They drank it neat, they drrnk it with water, with sugar. with biscuits, with ciieese, but could not agree what kind of liquor it was. Bete were made, and it was finally agreed to leave the • knotty question to be decided by two absent iospeotors--Captain Bill L— and Captain Steve It—. At last they came. They tasted. Captain L—said he would stake his reputation that it was Lon+tou Dock brandy. vowing ''he had not tested suult liquor since General Crowningshield launched Cleo- polra's barge in 1819," Captain R— declined ':to put a name on it." he said it had a flavor different from any liquor with which be was acquainted. • The next day the missionaries arrived at the custom -hoose, to have their baggage passed, all save the casq of likuor. "That must pay duty," said the General. "Would they inform hint what spirit the cask contained l" The amused lnissionrriea complied by telling hint that when they left India they brought out with thein a pot orang- outang, which dying atter thirty day's experience of sea -life, had been put in a cask of ruin for preservation—all explanation ac- counting for the peculiar flavor that had puzzled so many experienced tasters.—.A'. Y. Observer. The in the s of thews how muc their han The to every one from this i before the resolve that but what you that what you exactly a8 you tell anything even if it is true. will forgive you, never forget the learned to -day." I amu glad to s did forgive thorn, a piece of the melon I hope that neither t my little readers will gossiping men and wo ing Star. The older the perso the slander the more and serious It becomes. of God speaks pretty such offenders, and ev condemus the mischie spirit, It is most cruel and thus to injure people behin backs, and a few false word injure worthy citizens for life children that had taken part tory felt somewhat ashamed elves when they they saw h the story had grown in ds. cher said :—;`I hope f you will learn a lesson ncident, and just now, habit becomes fixed, you will toll nothing know to be true, and do tell, you will tell heard it ; and not to injure another, I hope Johnnie and that you will lesson you have ay that Johnnie nd gave them a 11 around ; and hey nor any of grow up to be men.—Morn- ne retailing xaggerated The Word lainly to erywhere f -making winked d their 8 may QUEER•TASTING LIQTJO Some forty years ago, the "Go nor Endicot" arrived at Sale Massachusette from India, and the landed several missionaries, wh departed at once for Boston to re port their arrival to the Missionary R. er- e, re 0 AS YOU LIKE 1T. • 1.18p1L? fli' TUE. f3Qf3I'IT41.4. And eudoraad by the nwdlosl faculty tlu:attggtwup the teAtes. Ctaitk'a Catetre Carta 104410410.tO:bSreef dell .asths41a1y deal epSeitio left OM dreeaaat•.:,Let Wavery ease. it Werke* eerteln, *fa,, and rpeett}r 4ure, . i'i(#4r1,trtn tO taata.itnd pmt?Il it Ho.' • vep powt:tiet 4 iiwtllu}tpnd teetering tbe Raturet f fnatione. *se ether remedy firos.auoh aatlofaction, 4ai;aut<a rgeults rond OP A-4 the antua, 1iRld. ily 11' druggiSte, .or ttent'to any addresa on receipt Of AO Cents bit Qlark..Chevaig,d Go., T.9rente Na* Yoi'Ift , - A Natural Irig; ry.—Wagg— What are you doing; now 1 Wood- en—Oh, I'm living by brain work. Wagg—I want to know ! Whose? Stranger (to cabman)—My gond roan, can you tell ale the nearest way to the depot? Cabman—Yes, sor ; ,Inst inside the cab, I ere, SOC, ..Aubert 'Wallin,. aged twelve, eon of f F., Wallin, pfr Micllinret, wart' ;Wing on a 1o4d. Of • manure, when be ovdrbalapced and pitched, forward headforemost under the wagon wh.eet and" broke his beck, His death was instantaneous. "Why don't you have your um- brella marked," said the thoughtful man. "I don't want to be robbed of'nly good name,' Hays the wag. You can reach a woman through her children and a man through his wife. And if you want to hit the whole family shoot 'cm with mo- lasses. Sunday School Teacher—Johnny, who Was the prodigal son? Johnny —Oh, that was the fellow who went away a dude and carie back a tramp. "And I suppose, like a brave soldier, you followed your colors." "Yes ; whenever there was a battle, I noticed that the colors were flying, so I fle 1, too." The wan who makes two blades of grails grow where one grew before gets honor and praise. The man who transforms a check from eight pounds to 86 gets 17 years in the penitentiary. The hand that spanks the baby and milks the cow and makes the buiscuits and' plants the flowers and its the hens and totes the pantry keys is the hand that ruins this country, IUJJ. Y.B.i.. OIL, Tnie awed, for liagyard'a Yellow' Oi1,. the beat and promptest pure for all pain from the simplest sprain to the racking torture of rheumatism. A ueverfailing remedy for croup, sore throat, and pain in the cheat —Mies I,aeek, who -resided on the howestead near lleadford with ber sisters and her brother George, walked out into the garden and expired in a few moments. Heart trouble was the immediate cause, but Ole had been in delicate health for surae time previode. THE RED COLOR of the blood is oaueed by the iron ft contains. Supply the iron when lacking by using Milburn's Beef, Iron and Wine. Mr. Serultbs (indignantly)—Sir, I have just discovered that your son has engaged himself to two of my daughters. Mr. Grubbs (stupefied) —The young rascal ! He should be compelled to marry thein both. Mr. Constant Squabble—What kind of a euit do you think I had better get for Sundays ? Mrs. C. S.—Well, if you want to get one to match your Sunday disposition, you had better get a pepper and salt suit." He—Dearest, this is our engage- ment .ring. It has "Mizpah" in it —that is, "God be with you till wo meet again." She—I suppose that's a delicate way of saying that when- ever you're around you want to have me all to yourself. Oh, you jealous creature 1 Many a man that can face the enemy on the stump, goes down before the motherly eloquence of a woman's tongue like dead grass and broom straws and lack rabbits before a prairie fire. It was so with King David and Marc Antony and Alexander Hamilton and Julius CEegar and Mr. Parnell and many others. Mr. Tennyson's explanation that he owes his longlife to hie adoption of a rule to "oast all your cares on God," has the poetic flavor, but it really won't work in practice. While it may conduce to long life, it is likely to lead to a life in the poorhouse or the penitentiary. The only safe way is to acquaint the Lord with the cares, and to follow it up with a good deal of personal hustling on your` otiv (114., —Messrs McBean Bros,, of Winnipeg, 'recently shipped from Port Arthur, by, the Canadian Pacific Itailway Company, a cargo of wheat for Montreal, which was transported by the company's ships to Owen Sound, Ont., and then transferred to the railway, and arrived at Montreal five days later. This is supposed to he the quickest time on record by this route. aa. INT F'R SPORTS. T ue. gay winker beacon exposes many to sttauks of c•rl ie, coughs, hoarbanrss, tightness et the chest, asthma, bron- chitis. etc., which requires a reliable remedy litre llagyard a Yeetoral Balsam for their relief and cure. Known as reliable fur over thirty years: The beet cough cure. —Robert McCormick, who lived on the east half lot 7, concession 3, Melancthun, left Shelburne for home about 8 o'clock in the even- ing, accompanied by his wife and two children. Arriving home, he went to put the horse away. A few minutes later his wife looked out to see how he was getting along and she found him lying on the ground whore he had unhitched his horse. ile only lived about an hour. ILAINTDEPDIVIEEP ORGAN' FRE Ciiet Away Beet With kin awlest �. Vier Tat illru gee, the pian s» wOrgan, now, on exhibition. 'VI( MANY MEN, MANY MINDS,"hut all men and all minds agree ail to the merits of Burdock Pllle, small and sugar - (salted. C . NTON —John Currie, of Victoria, near Stoncwall,Mau.,sustained averyseri- ous losses well as nearly losing his life a few mornings since. About 6 o'clock he went to his stables to feed his horses. On entering the etabl.i he lit his pipe, dropping the burning match on the straw and litter that covered the floor. In au instant the whole was in a flame. Mr. Currie attempted to get his horses, but (lid not succeed in doing so. His clothes caught fire, by which he was seriously burned. The stables, containing 5 horses, 2 bulls, 1 calf and about 70 hens, were consumed. His loss is about $1,000, no insurance. HEALTH IN HERBS. Health -giving herbs, barks, roots, and berries are carefully combined in But - dock Blood Bitters, which regulate the secretions, purify the blood and renovate and strengthen the entire system. Price $1 a bottle, six for $Ci. Less than 1 cent a dose. THE NEW AIR SRIt'i The new air ship travels 200 miles an hour, good time, but none ton quick if one wanted klagyard's Yellow Oil. This peerlese,pain-soothing remedy is n prompt and pleasant ours for sore throat, croup, colds, rheumatism, pains in the cheer, and back ; neuralgia. For external and internal use. Pride 25c, STRIIEs THE POUT : OF ,THE, aISEASe Ia need bath internally at d externally. It sots ¢uio.1,9, attordiag* tmoat instant relief from the never at pain. 'In iECTI.Y TO THE SPOT. ITTST11TWOUS Ill ITS ACTI011. For CRAMPS, CHILLS, CQLIC,. DIARRIIC A, DYSENTERY,, CHOLERA MQRBUS, turd all BOWEL CQMPLAINTS, - MO REMEDY EQUALS THE PAIN -KILLER, in Ganadtan Cholera, and Bowel It cures In a very ehor t time. THC.DEST FAMILY REMEDY FOR BURNS, BRUISES, SPRAINS, RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA and TOOTHACHE. Sow EVERYWHERE AT 260. A BOTTLt. ser Beware of Counterfeits and Imitations. -� DO YOU KEEP IT IN THE HOUSE? ALLEN'S LUNG BALSAM. NO BETTER REMEDY FOR COUGHS, COLDS, CROUP, CONSUMPTION, dt,C. c SHE LOST HER LON; FR BUSINESS Ai� ®I��CE ��T. because her breath .+'.1 ..tr-naive fr rot n slight tunc.h o1 ('atarth ile w„o..l ;+ d ('LslbRESr'ONIDENCE. marries! ano.her ghl eheoe 1„e,'1 ',PPR We will at all tineas he pleased to sweet fr•.m the us" of C ark's C.1 .r.h Cute. If veer l'.v, r n+ ar,tti,•n in la., in receiveitems of news from our sub - worth 50 +ee,to to rreeerve, thio K' io seribei-s. We want a good corres- your druggist at once. T"ko nothing puudent in everit locality, nut already else, for nothing else will cure you su ,K+I'resented, to ;end us RELIABLE news, easily and quick, If you cannot pet Clark'., Catarrh Cu,c front your druggist, then send •'!sec' t n nark C11,1111(411 Cu,, Torr•nto, Now Yolk•---- - -During the first five utuuwl's of thie year 6,309 settlers arrived at Winnipeg with 400 care et effects. —For the past year there has been trouble among the parishion- ers of Christ church, Amhersthurg, and a number of charges have been made against the presiding clergy- man, Rev. William Wye. A com- mission appointed by Bishop Bald- win met in Amhorstburg on Thursday of last week and went into the matter. The prosecution and the defence were both repre- sented by lawyers. The charges brought against Mr. Wye are of "disorderly, criminal and scanda- lous conduct." He ie also charged with making false returns to the synod. The evidence for the prose- cution was principally a copious re- port of a hearing before F. E. Maroon last June, when Mr. Wye was up on a judgment summons, and the prosecution contended that he swore falsely. The commission will report to the bishop, who will then give his decision. SUBSCRIBERS. Patrons who do not receive their paper regularly from the carrier or thr'ugh their local post ogees will confer a favor by reporting at this office at once. Subscriptions mays commence at any time. ADVICE •r0 Mteri".n1. Aro you tiis'urbed at tight and broken of your rest by s sick chid suffering and (trying with paiu,.f coo in. Ti, ib? ADVERTISERS. It ao sand tit once and set a bottle of "Airs. Winslow's Soothing S)+•np" f„r Childben Tooth AduertiseJ•s will please bear in rattle ing. Its value is tnnaleuable, It will relieve theponr little sufferer hoc:editttely. Depend npon that all "changes” of advertisements, it, mothers; th..re is no reist,.ko Hb,,nt it. 1t to ensure insertion, should be handed aures D,sent.ry and Dim rhe' , ropustcs the stomach and bowels, cures Winn Coca. Hcftuus in not lute?. than MONDAY NOON of the gums, rerin. es inflammation, and gives tone and energy to the whole sy3ttnt. ''Mrs Winslow's each week. Soothing Syrup" tar Phi Oe, teeth!, g is pl:+.Inant - to the taste end is the prescription 11 ono o1 the I CIRCULATION.oldest and best fellatio physicians annou d n. in the United States, and 1s for sale by hal dru,tgist's THE NEWS-IZECOIiD leas a larger throughout the world. Price25 cents a bottle. Be sure and ask for 'Mits.\VINHLOW'H SO-,THINo circulation than any other paper in SYRUP," and tube no other kind, 656y this section, and as an advertising —Mrs John I1loure, of Holland, medium has few equals in Ontario. was thrown trues a wagon white Our books are open to those who descending the Saugnell hill and mean lividness. — fatally injured. .9011; I' INT1i%G. THE KEY STONE. The Job Lel artment of this jour - Regular action of the bowels is the key- nal is one of the best equipped in stone of health. The use of B B B. in- Western Ontario, and a superior &urea it and curet) euuettpatton, dyspepsia, class of work is guaranteed at very etc. lom priers. Miss F. Williams, 145 BL+or Street, Ti,ronto, writes : ''H.;ve nerd your But dock Rlo",l ktttere for ol er'p:10i' n and p.tu+ in the head m i..lt gr<at +w.ue.e. 1 inlprrn•etl 1, mil the ace•iol1 ,lure,' The patience of a stoic can be easily fretted by the acute, spas.nodio pains of toothache, yet :+t. Jacob's Oil will cure the pain in a few minutes, surely and nomppletely. It penetrtitee to the nerve,,, arid- Ina the palu. s --In the assizes at Victoria, B. C., lust weak, Patterson, found guilty of rape on a little girl of tee years, was Sella 110ed to 80000 years in tate penitentiary. AS AN AlD to int,.,,.1 remedies fur Skin diseases. Dr. Low'. Sulphur Soap proven very valuable, —Edward McConuoll, seventy- four years of age, one of the pio- neers of the first concession of Malahide, had just. dispoeed of some cattle and returned to the house when he dropped dead, T'VO YEARS AGO. Two years ago I way trrubled with an ulcer on my ankle. ha.•ing used B, 13 H. f r had blond I nrotured a bottle and a hos of Burdock heeling °int",nt. After using 3 bottle. and 3 boxes I was oomph Lely cared. M Wm. V. B.yet, Brantford, Ont. ■ m ® 1 01 � q ; o O H f • mE,�tq P a r td t6 barAlM ...Rafl e Aa al . o ra fel ERRORS OF YOUNG AHD OLD Organic Weakness, Failing Memory, Teak of Energy,. Physical Decay. positively cured by Hazotton's Vitalizer. Also Nervous Debility, Dimness of Sight Loss of Ambition, Unfitness to Marry, Stunted Development, Loss of Power Paine in the Back, Night Emissions, Drain in Urine, Seminal Losses, Sleeplessness. Aversion to Society, Unfit for Study Excove Indul. pence, eta., eta Every bottle eal ottle guaranteed. 20,000 sold yearly. Address, enclosing stamp for treatise, J. E. HAZELTON, 'Graduated ha _aoiett, 808 Y•qn e SI•r.,.-Tcrppt9.-Aitttr •:,� 0(1 '4 • (11 `0 Cd �0 O ClTRAY STOCK ADVER TiSEM:ENTS inserted in THE - NEWS Recoau at low rates. The law makes it compulsory to advertise stray stock it yon want any )find of advertising you will not do better than call on Tewe•Reocord. IMPLEMENTS. The subscriber having severed his connection with the :V •w-ry Oomnany, desiree to intimate that be has been appointed agent for tho well- known ilrm of FROST & WOOD, implement makers, of Smith's Palle, and will be pleased to all n11 orders in his lino so heretofore. Will also keep on hand WILKINSON PLOWS, COLTER S. SCOTT DRILLS, Dtsc 11Annatvi, and artiolee of like nature. WM. STANLEY, 647-6m Bolmesvine and Clinton A NICE HOME AT A BAIIOAIN.—Eightacres of land with a select orchard of choice apple trees; euinfortable house end stables ; adjoining:0ode- rich township. Apply to lh L. DOYLE, Oode. 528•tt _ t THE' CELEBRATED Ideal Waster' and Wr!rer. CI a M? THE BEST IN THE MARKET Machines Allowed on Trial am also agent for all All Agricultural Implements Wareroom opposite Fair's Mill. Call and see me. 1: B:11/EiR r . y fifi