HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1889-07-31, Page 3LONGFELLOW'S i ALDEN.
Who lli--
" SrimdIug. with reluctant feet.
Where the brook and river meet.
Womanhood and childhood fleet I"
L a type of thousands of yyoungB title who
are emerging from the ohrrsaW stage of
neer their
their existence, u they en upon h
"teens." Nervous, excitable. Irritable.
stirred by strange. unknowable forces
within them, each a mystery unto her.
self, our girls need the tenderest care the
moat loving, patient oversight, and the aid
of Dr. T'ierce's Favorite Prescription, to
safely carry them through this critical pe-
riod, during which, in too many lives, alae
are sown the seeds of distressing Corms of
dleeases peculiar to their sex. But this
boon to womankind will prevent all such
diseases, or cure them 1f they have already
seized a victim. Woman owes it to herself.
to her family, and to her social Nation. to
be well and strong. Let her not neglect
the euro means of cure. Favorit
scription" is a legitimate medicine. care•
fully compounded by an experienced and
skillful pbyelclan, and adapted to woman's
delicate organization. It is purely vegeta-
ble in its oompoeition and perfectly harm-
less in its effects in sny condition of the
b ttl i torolld druggists; uggists; S1.00,or six
Copyrlght,lese, by Woatn's Drs. Mata, AWN.
Or. Pierce's Pellets
regulate and cleanse the liver. stomach and
bowels. They are purely vegetable and
perfectly harmless. One a Dose. Sold
by druggists, '25 cents a vial.
The Huron News -Record
Si .60 a Yoar-11.26 1n Advance.
Ra' Tile man does poi do justice to his business
ho spends less in 'adeereisingg than he du'o in
tea. —A T. STEWART, the "natio. a: a m..•ehent
of New York.
Wednesday, July 31st, 1889
JAKE AND THE HAMILTON
GIRLS.
•Cu. R2?rams,
11' NOT, wiry NOT 1
A uew euggeetionfortheaettlowent
of the Jesuit Estates matter comes
from the Belleville intelligencer.
After showing the trickery of the
Globe atld the party for which it
speaks, in making use of this ques-
tion solely ass a partisan device, and
resolutely opposing any practical
steps for settling the question, the
Intetliyencer aaye : "There is, how.
" ever, We venture tb suggest, an-
other course still open, and that iu
" toaak the Legislature of Quebec,by
"petition, to repeal the objectionable
" measure. There is no difficulty in
" the way of this course—no legal
" or constitutional obstacles to over-
" come—no vexatious technicalities
" to get rid of. The power which
" made these laws is equally power-
" ful to repeal them. The Govern,
"ment and the Legislature of
" Quebec are Grit ; perhaps they
" may lietell to the loud voices of
" their political friends in Ontario."
Mr. Wige, albeit a married man,
is the most gallant of gentlemen to
ladies, especially if they are young
and good looking. Native tact and
long experience on the road enables
him to suit his conversation to his
company, and Jake can talk as in',
terestingly to a clergymen as to a
horse Couper, end can givea maiden
wrinkles on the latest 'fashion as
easily as he call give a matron poin•
ters on the preparation of catnip
tea, mustard poultices and wart
cures. This is the secret of his pop.
ularity as stage•driver. The fishing
at the locks has been unusually good
lately, in consequence of which Jake.
lase been in great demand among
lovers of the gentle art of both sexes.
',The other day he took down half a
dozen young ladies, all Sunday
school teachere frotn Hamilton, to
the locks. We will let Jake des•
tribe the trip himself : "I first went
to Mr.'Roper's and t:ot a prescrip-
tion ailed into an eight ounce bottle
for a friend in Indiana. As I had
no coat on,' I. elipped the vial into
my pants pocket, and forgot all
about it. Then I got out uiy rig,
and helped niy passengers in with
their sketch books, fishing rods and
other traps. As soon as they were
aboard, 1 smoked that they were
real nice pious young ladies, just
the very best fine•cut,•and I trimmed
my soils accordingly. I threw out
feelers, until I learned that they
were Methodists; then, having firm
ground below me and a straight
course ahead, I stepped out in my
Sunday•go to-moeting style and at
a 2.40 clip. I overhauled Mostly
and Sankey, Sam Jones and Crossley
and Hunter in great shape, and was
getting in some fine work on the
Jesuit hill, when there was a sharp
report like a pistol shot, a nip nt
the pit of my stomach and then a
gush of what I thought was warm
blond down my leg. I stopped my
horse with a jerk and (I blush to
say it) I ripped out en old snorter
beginning with a g..eat big D. I
really thought, I had •been ehot in
the groin, until I put my hand in
my pocket, and pulled out the vial
empty. It had been filled with some
yeasty stuff, which the heat of my
body and the warmth of my convey,
sation had worked up so that it
blew out the cork with the results
stated. The young ladies snickered
outright at my ludicrous misadvens
ture, hut I could see,.during the rest
of the drive, that they had lost faith
in me as a religious exhorter."
HE FOUND IT SYMPATHETIC.
"There is at least one thing that
I can say in your favor," Raid his
wife's mother, "and that is you're
a great deal more attentive to the
Scriptures than you used to be.
But I Ruppoee that really I deserve
most of the credit for it. I know
that von never payed much atten-
tion to the good book till after you
married my daughter."
"Yes, I pay more
such matters how."
"Woo. portion are you
"'Lamentations.'' I confine my,
self exclusively to that book,"
leaves histwo daughters about
$x;},00(►.
—Qt's of the tallest young ladiee
in Nevada, says the Virginia Enter-
prise, resides in Reno, She is the
youngest of nine sisters, is twenty
two years old and weighs 218 lbs,,
and stands six feet one inch high in
her stockings.
THE HELPLESS AND HOPELESS.
A joint address has been issued
to the people of New York by the
state grange, the farmers' union.
and some of the labor organizations.
Among the statements wade are
the following :—
You are to day confronted with a
condition of taxation, which, if
continued, will at no distant period
confiscate more than half the farm.
ing lands in the state—nej, by the
state for pubiie use, but by un•
taxed capital for the gratification of
its insntiate greed .... This year
the amount of state taxes voted by
the legislature was $12,000,000....
The farming lands of thestate have
actually decreased in value in the
last ten years more than. 25 per
cent, largely in consequence of
increased and unjust taxation.....
At least one-third of the farms and -
homes of the working people are
mortgaged for half their value.
attention to
roading?"
AS YOU LIKE IT.
—Mrs. Miry Brady, convicted a
few days ago in Jersey City of being
a common scold, was last week sen,
'tenced to pay a fine of $25 and costa.
—Griffith Williams and a family
of eight have left for Wales. They
are' survivors of the Johnstown
flood. One of the children, who was
born in the attic of a house that was
floating along tho stream, has been
christened Moses.
--Mrs. J. T. Murphy, of Alabama,
died after suffering for eight yearn`
on account of pains in her stotnach.
Drs. Stevens and Davis performed
a post mortem examination and
found in the stomach considerably
more than a pound of wood and a
piece of cloth thirteen feet long.
The woman "dipped" snuff and, it is
supposed, chewed;aodewailowed her
brushes, hut the physicians are at a
lose to account for the presence of
the cloth.
—Henry Duncan, the Freewill
Baptist preacher who recently mut,
dered his wife in Dale county,
Alabama, and eloped with a young
lady of the neighborhood, was cap,
tured and tried in the Circuit Court
of Dale County, convicted, and Sens
tented to death by hanging.
—While bathing her baby sister
at Little Rock, Ark., Tuesday, Sara
Floyd, a young colored girl, dropped
the child, who felt from a porch, a
distance of twelve feet. While
looking down at the baby the girl
also fell, falling on the chiid and
killing it almost instantly.
—George Muth, on trial before
tho Cincinnati, Ohio, police court on
Tuesday for selling ice cream withs
out a license on Sunday, pleaded
guilty; and the court accepted the
plea as a demurrer and discharged
the prisoner, stating that the sate of
ice cream was not regarded as •a
luxury, but as a necessity.
—At' Warsaw, Indiana, Mra.
Martha Dinka has been arrestosi
charged with murder, and her how
band, Daniel, as an accessory.
Danks recently became- a crank on
religion, and, it is said, compelled
his wife to strangle their fifteen
months old child as a sacrifice,
claimiug the Almighty had promised
to resurrect the child on the third
day. When Dauke was arrested
he had been carrying the dead in -
rant in his arms for two days.
—A special to the Chicago Int—.
Ocean' dated Lnkota, D. T:, July
• I'8, says : There is no longer any
doubt in the minds of Dakotans
that there will be a shortage in the
wheat crop of the Territory this
year of about 28,000,000 bushels.
In many counties, particularly Nel-
son, there has been an almost total
failure of crops of all kinds on
account of the drought that has 80
tong prevailed. Ii► view of the
fact that a large number of farmers
in this and other counties have thus
been deprived of their means of
support, and will starve to death
unless food and clothing sufficient
to tide them through the winter is
furnished, a mass,meoting of the
leading business sten of the county
was held here to -day to devise ways
Sud means to bridge over the dktli,
culty. A cental committee watt
appointed to solicit aid for destitute
farmers to . enable thein to live
through the winter, and commence
again in the spring.
• —From where do all the Hies
come? The question is often 'asked,
and seldom receives as satisfsctary
an answer.aS has been given by a
contemporary : The common fly lays
more than 100 eggs, and the time
from egg laying to maturity is only
about two weeks. Most 'of us have
studied geometrical progreasion.
Here we see it illustrated. Sup-
pose one fly commences "to multiply
and replenish the earth" about June
1. June 15, :if all lived, would
give 150. Suppose seventy-five of
these are females, July 1 would give
us, supposing no cruel asp or
other untoward circumstances to
interfere, 11,250 flies. Suppose 5,,
625 of these are females, we might
have July 15, 843,720 flies. For
fear of bed dreams I will not calcu-
late what might be by Sept. 15.
—A North Carolina paper says :
There is not a neighborhood from
Maine to Mexico in which the nasal
twang of the ideal Yankee, pitched
to the highest key of Puritanic
super morality, has not been he..rd.
They org'rinized to despoil us of our
property, aid sent their emissaries
to incite the negroea I murder the
families of their masters in bed at
midnight. We do not love the
Puritan. We know that through.
out the long run of his breed be has
been a liar, a cheat, and a fraud; a
hypocrite, coward and suoundrel; a
psalm,eingiug, canting, sniveling,
unwholesome creature of the devil ;
a narrow-minded, fiendish, mercite •
demon in human form; the unclaim-
ed of heaven, and the unownel of
hell
—Mose: Folsom, of Port Town
send, sends the following sketch of
the origin of the use of the letters
"0. K.," which, he states, was
furnished him personally by James
Parton]:. While at Nashville in
search of material for his history,
Mr. Parton found among the re-
cords of the court of which Gen.
Jackson lead been judge a great
many legal documents indorse I
"0. R.," which meant "Order re-
corded," but often so serawlingly
written that one could easily rend
it as 0. K. If "Itiajor Downing"
noticed a bundle of legal papers,
thus marked upon President Jack-
son's table, documents, perhaps,
from his former court, in which
he still had interest, it is very easy
to see how a punster could imagine
it to be "0. K.," or 'eel! korrect."
—Jake Morris, ,janitor of Georgia,
and who belonged to every secret.
society in the city, laughed himself
to death last week. Ho attended
the Masoliic Lodge, of which he was
a member. When be "left the lodge
room he waft accompanied by Prof.
Otto Spahr, who had lost his hat
and was compelled to go bareheaded
until they reached Morris' ream.
Prof. Spahr noticed that his friend
laughed iwmoderately,a thing which
seldom happened. In the morning
Morris was found dead by the ser-
vant. The theory 's that he laugh-
ed so immoderately as to bring on
palpitation of the heart, to which
he was subject. Morris invested all
his earnings in life insurauoe, and
•
.--per,—�---�-
ReMo i ,1s� t Remover() I
One Boor North of Young's .Baker g, Albert Street
Our stock of Groceries and Provisions for spring and sumn►er are very couipletae ,and
will be found Fresh and Reliable, embracing every line of Goods to be found in a-'irst-
Class Grocery. We aim to give the Best possible Goods et:the Lowest Possible Price,
and to economical buyers we offer many advantages. PRODUCE TAKEN.
CANTELON BROS., Wholesale & Retail Grocers, Clinton.
—The bill of a mosquito is a
complex institution. It has a
blunt fork at the head, and is ap-
parently grooved. Work ing through
the groove, and projecting from the
angle of the fork, is a lance of per,
fact form sharpened with a tine
bevel. Beside it the most perfect
lance looks like a hand saw. On
either side of the lance two saws are
arranged, with the points fine and
sharp and the teeth well refined and
keen. The back of these saws play
against the lance. When the mos,
quito alights with his peculiar hum,
it thrusts its keen lance, and tben
enlarges the aperture with the two
saws, which .plav beside the lance
until the forked bill with he capil-
lary arrangement for pumping blood
can. be inserted. The sewing pro-
cess in what grates upon the nerves
of the victim and causr • him to
strike wildly at the sawyer.
JUST FOR FUN.
—A. New York judge had held
that a dog is a domestic animal
entitled to the peaceable pursuit of
happiness, and that he (one cannot
say "it" in this connection) is justi-
fied in defending himself if asaailr i.
No reasonable person will object to
a pursuit of happiness on the part
of a dog. It is when he pursues
unwary citizens that there is a kick.
—One of the funniest things that
has happened in Greenville Tenn.,
for some time was the shooting of a
negro the otber night by a police,
man. The cop blazed away at the
man and shot him in the elbow, the
ball glancing and striking the negro
in the cheek. As he llpit the ball
out he said :-"Look heal), white
man, you quit dat shootin' at me ;
fur' thing,yuh known yuh gwinter
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a . a
es.2w to'"°ae r4 tri
o' It giz
10`° - lo.3m�03l1H
broke some 'specteble purson's I
winder glare."
• —"'W, -II," said Uncle Hiram,who
timed to belong to a singing club in
his Carly days, "I never heard •n
woman play like that womat: we
heard in Boston that night. It wan
joat awful. My ears ache even
now." "Yee," replied his nephew
"she was rather loud, that's a fact.
But then her execution—"
"George," exclaimed the old gentle-
man, as he seized his nephew .ly
the arm, "You don't mean to say
that that they went as far as that?
Well 'tian't for me to judge them, I
ou&y heard' her once. It seems
terrible—a woman, too: but then
they had listened to her every night.
And they won't have to hear her
again. Perhaps it was all for the
best , George."
MRS. FLYNN AND THE GOAT.
Mrs. Flynn, of Toronto, relates
with much pathos an incident in
her ijfe that graphically illustrates
woman's truthfulness and man's
perfidy.
"Oi was in the market wan
mornin' lookin' for some mate, an'
a Dooch butcher axed me how an
illegaut bit av spring lamb wad
soot. Oi sed it wad do of it waz
good, an' he said, it waz the best in
the market or he wudn't be bfferin'
it to a lady loike meself. Oi'm
fond av opting lamb, an' so Oi took
a hunk av it home an' cooked it fer
me ould mon an' meself.
"May the divil take me av it
tasted roight. It had a sort.av a
rank an' romantic flavor thet Oi
niver kem across afore, an' heaven
help me, may Oi never come across
it again!
"01 kept me jaw to meself an'
said nathin'. After dinner the
ould mon said the spring lamb
tasted kind o' quare an' he wander-
ed had Oi cooked the baste enough,
Oi said Oi had cooked the baste-
joest roight, an' Oi saw nathin'
wrong wid the taste av it.
"Whin the ould mon had gone
out to wurruk Oi tuck a luck at the
chunk av mate that was left an'
phat.do you tisk Oi sawl A bit
av the skin av the varmint an' it
had hair on it instead av wool,
begorra. Tho thavin' Dootchman
had Bole me goat instead of lamb I
Bad luk to him 1
"01 coodn't afford to lose the
mate,d'ye eee, an' so Oi kept nre
jaw to mesilf an' said nothin' agin.
Oi stewed it up wid spices an'
tinge to disguoise the taste, an' we
had it agin fer supper. Oi told the
ould mon Oi didn't care fer enny
spring lamb fer supper, but it wuz
very beautiful cooked up wid spicas,
an' he needed plenty av mate now
that he wuz workin' wid the Park
Commissioners. He ate awhoile,
an' thin he sed the spring lamb
tasted kind o' quare, an' he thought
it wuz too high toned for ue.
"'Now, me darlint,' Oi sed, tho
spring Iamb is a little high toned,
but it is none too good for the
loikee of ue an' ye moost ate
hearty eo ye can do good wurruk
for the Park Commissioners."
"Ho sed the Park Commissioners
be bloomed, an' he coed do good
enough wurrk for them on roast
bate, an' Oi git roast bafe the nixt
toimel
"01 sed, 'My darlint, av coorse
Oi'll git roast bafe the nixt toime,
but we mooet ate all the spring
lamb fopret:'
"Well, ye see it took me boos -
band several days to git away wid
the spring lamb, but he foinly got
trough wid the job, an' then Oi tuck
the bit of skin wid the hair on,
phat I had saved as a guarantay av
goodfaith,an Oi wint down to the
market. Oi hunted up me beauti-
ful Dootchman, an' sez Oi :
"'Have yez any noico mato thie-
marnin; Dootchy 1'
"'Pkat koind wad you loike this
mornin', Mrs. Flynn 1' eez he.
"'Oi ate nathing but the best,' sez
0 i.
"'How wad a voice bit ov spring
lamb soot?' eez he.
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144.07 is 1t••,..., .,.....4gold by Druggists, or lent postpaid on reostp$
of pprice. Ds,_Hurras$T$' sanest., (tut pamoo
rtopty bound In cloth and gold, mailed free.
Hist.Ykreyk'MQdip1•44.4 iosJralton8t.NY.
I
years in private pticew thereeu.andforover
tai.tk inmost err
ciao ea�lat poi'sfor Daa►•d.
S opts it a. 10aceachadacke•, 8kkHea he. Vertigo•
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SPECT FI CSa►
WHLLS & RICHARDSON CO. Agent•,
DIONTRBAL.
"'Tanks; sez Oi. 'Spring lamb
is a bit 'high-toned for me. Oi'll
take a foine large steak, ov ye plaza.'
"'About how large 1' sez ho
"'About tin pounds,' sez 0i, 'an'
a foine juicy wan, av ye plaza.'
"So Oi tuk the steak; au takin' a
good grip ov it, Oi clammed it round
his big Dootch ears till he yelled
bloody' murther in fourteen lan-
guages. 'The nixt toime ye sell me
goat for spring lamb, ye thavin'
Dootchman'—an' Oi kept bastin'
him around the ugly lugs—'the
nixt time ye sell me goat, Oi say,
Oi'll make ye ate his tvhaskers 1';"
HOW TO COAX A MAN TO
PROPOSE.
An elderly man was telling a
group of giddy young girls the
other day how he proposed to his
wife when he was a young man.
She was sewing at the time, he
said, or he never would have had
the courage to do it. If girls would
sew more he thinks they would
have mere matrimonial chances.
Sewing he considers the best
accomplishment that a woman can
have. A woman engaged with a
needle has a domestic, homelike air
that is irrestible to a man who
loves her. It is a picture of what
she would be in her own home,
and makes him long that it should
be his also. How can a man pro-
pose to a girl who sits straight up
in her chair staring hard at him
with o pair of bright eyes 1 But
when she is bending gracefully
over a bit of plain •or fancy
sewing, apparently absorbed in
counting the stitches, and the
arrows of her eyes are sheathed for
a 'few minutes, he plucks up
courage enough to offer her his
heart and hand. The average
young man is bashful in such affairs,
though bold enough at other times,
and needs encouragement and
opportunities. What sort of en-
couragement is a pair of bright eyes
staring into his, watching his
embarrassment? Listen • to the
advice of an old man who has been
all through it; drop your eyes and
give the young man a chance. Re-
member this, girls, when the
favourite ' young man drops in to
make an evening visit, get out
your bit of fancy work and look
domestic, •and with every stitch of
your needle you will bind his heart
more firmly to your own.
NATIONAL PILLS are sugar
coated, mild but thorough, and are
the best Stomach . and Liver Pills in
use.
NEWSPAPER LAWS
We call the special attention of Post
nesters and subscribers to the following
iynopeis of the newspaper laws1—A postmaster is required to ive
notice EY LETTER (returning a paper does
not answer the law) when a subscriber does
not take his paper out of the ounce, and
state the reason for its not being taken.
Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster
responsible to the publishers for payment.
'1 —If any person orders his paper dis-
soutinned, he must pay all arreareges,the publisher may continue to senduntil payment is made, and collect the
whole amount, whether it be taken fron
bhe otGce or not. There can be no legal
discontinuance nntil the payment is made,
3—Any person who takes a paper fronsthe post-ofice, whether directed to hit
name or another, or whether he has sub.
cribed or not, is responsible for th. pay.
4—If a subscriber orders his paper to bt
stopped at a certain time, and the publish,
or continues to sand, 1t the subscriber n
bound to pay for it if he takes it out of the
post•ofce. This l,roceedsOpen the ground
that a man must pay for what ire use*
*''In the Division Court in Godorich
at the November sitting a newspaper ut-
Inbar sued for pay of paper. The defend.
ant objected paying on the ground that lie
had ordered a former proprietor of the
paper to discontinue it. The Judge held
that that was not a valid defense. The
plaintiff, the present' proprietor, had no
noti;e to discontinue and consequently
could collect, although it was not denied
that defendant had notified former pro-
prietor to discontinue. In any event
defonant was bound to pay for the time
he had received the paper and until he
had paid all arrears due for subscription.
`1
BILI• HEADS, NOTE
Ile,.de, Letter Heade, (Tags,
Statements, Circulars. Business
Cards, Envelopes, Programmee,
etc., etc., prinlei in M workman-
like manner and at low raise.
THE NEWS•RECOISD Office.
TO THE FARMERS.
Study your own interest and gowhere
you .can get
Reliable
Harness,
I manufacture none brat toe n*dr or Sroes.
Beware of slops that sell cheap, as 014 how
pot to line. lar Call and get prices. Orders
by man proinpiy attended to
JOHN T. cafe-1:VrE a
HARNESS EMPORIUM, HLYTII, ONT.
BUSINESS ANNOUNCEMENT,
COiRRESPONDENCE.
We will at all times be pleased to -
receive items of news from our sub=
scribers. We want a good corres
vondent in every locality, not already
represented, to send us RELIABLE news.
SUDSCRIRERS.
'Patrons who do not receive their
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DR. FOWLERS
•EXT: OF •
'-WILD'
TR,IWBERRYI
CURES
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holeraMorbus
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ARR KEA
YSENTERY
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