HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1889-07-17, Page 6oeseteetatoesseetwwwwanametisiwe
1a /gr n Nie s Record
$1.50 a Yoar-,.el.25 to advina;c.
Tt,aMet 4ity /Mite iestts rrr ktrtosines
enL8-'uPtr a'¢uA. S�W.txr, niLtlre ntenn relnnt
of Nolo York.
Weduesdnty', Jt1Iy I7tlI, ISS9.
UNCLE JOE 51111 STER'S
RI DE.
TEMPERANCE STORY: wall AN OLD
TOPER'S PLEDGE AT TILE END OF
"I s'pose that the saddeueat and
most laetiug,caye of turutug :over a
leaf in the natter of tarrying too
long at the wine cup was that 'of•
Uncle Joe Shoestor, a jolly old
Pennsylvania Dutch farmer who
lives up our way," said John New•
berger, of Berks county. "Uncle
Joe had been for forty years chiefly
conspicuous as a eitizep through his
perennial conviviality. A robust
bachelor, with plenty of money, he
had been able to maintain an al -
moat uninterrupted jog for twoscore
years, without having to carry with
it a single care, either financial,
physical, or mental—a condition, iu
the estimation of many of hie fellow
citizens. so entirely blissful as
hardly to be classed among things
of the earth earthy. There were
few nights in the week when "Toe's
faithful bay mare Betsey could not
be Been tied to the tavern hitching
post in the village near which old
Joe's farm lay, waiting patiently
for the coming of her master, when
his libations with an always willing
collection of loungers in the bar
room had produced a certain con
.clition of booziness in Uncle Joe
that made ]hien no longer agreeable
profitable company, at tyhich.state
he was always conducted to his
'horse and helped upon her back.
'Uncle Joe never had much control
of his mental•faculties at such times
so , long as he was afoot, but the
moment he was in the saddle on
Betsey's back he strai hten d out
like a major, and was it ariably
delivered safe. and sound at his
farm house door. As soon as Joe
would become settled in his saddle
'and the bridle reins placed in his
bands Betsey would start homeward
like a shot.
s "An artist iu wood cuyiug re-
ceived his order ono day from a
harness dealer in Reading to chop
out a life size bay horse, which the
morcbaut wanted td stand outside
his store as a sign. The horse was
to bo be built standing at rest, in
an easy, horse -like pose, and to be
mounted on four large, easy •runuiug
casters, so that it,could be moved in
and out of the store with the least
possible wear and tear ou the clerk
'v order was exocnted in a Inan-
t:rr that aroused the enthusiasm and
wonder of all twho saw it. It was
SO u -aural, conic declared, that if
the wooden horse had neighed it
wouldn't have surprised 'them.
Tho wooden horse was stored in a
shed to await the pleasure of the
Reading merchant.
Land up alyd do WAX O@; horse's logs
awl thea etclainted.
"4 She iss tet. ,,My. olt il'e:tsoly
iss tat, ,elhtiir win atilt in her shoostt.
yor hole, whore y,er itelotlgl"' anti,`.
Ise _ truck, friar across thefoe with:
a bridle he .wee e,til;cying smell 9, tap
lair tits Nr01114 ha Marluist waled
the: scar fot tno.utliss".
sit 1 1:Tddeytvice, to stitches has,
herr alrutty 1"
"Joe's alarm over the strange 1
situation sobered " him somewhat,
He started back toward the tavern.
Anticipating this, Joe'a mate had
been returltdd to }ter place at the.,
hiyching great.' I'resoutly Uncle
Joe appeared there, puffing from
his hurried pull up the hill, Be-
fore he could report the astounding
discovery he had made. Betsey
greeted him with a whiney of
recognition. Joe stopped • short,•
auto for a full ►ninute stared at the
phare with bulging eyes. 'Then ho'
sank down ou the tavern steps and
threw his hands iu the air. •
'• ` My alt Petsey ahtitf tet in to
holler, ah'etty 1' he uluaued ; 'au'
my alt Petsey alife unt vinuerin'
here on ter hill, yit ! Te vitches
sure hass my alt Petsey !'
"While Uncle Joe was bemoan-
ing the capture of his mare by
witches, the wooden horse was
wheeled from the hollow, As it
was run up in front of the tavern,
one of the boys said :
"'.Ve11, I knew that wooden horse
was as natural as life, but didn't
think it was natural enough to try
and run away 1'
"Uncle Joe rose slowly from the
tavern .steps. He looked at the
wooden horse a moment. Then he
unhitched Betsey.
"Ven I git me •so I don'd ken
tell my Petsey front a bainted
hobby horse„ yit,' he exclaitned,
'ten I sign de bletch, py shing 1'
"He mounted Betsey, and away
they the t in the old-titne fashion.
But they didn't go straight home.
Uncle Joe -rode to the justice of
peace for the township, and, routing
him out of bed, made him draw up
a stiff and strong teetotal affidavit.
Joe signed it there and then, and
he has never touched a drop since."
,4"
THE LORD'S PRAYER(.
"About that time Uncle Joe
5heester tied bis mare Betsey to
the tavern hitching post one night,
and took his usual•placo in the bar
room to woo conviviality. While
he was thus engaged, some of the
boys were seized with the idea that
they thought •promised brilliant
results. They surreptitiously re-
moved the wooden horse from the
shed, and put a saddle and bridle
upon it, and taking Uncle Joe's
Betsey from the tavern hitching
post, tied -the counterfeit ;horse in
her place. lietsey 'they " safely
housed in the shed.`. The night was
very dark, and about ten o'clock
Joe carne out of the tavern with one
of his largest cargoes aboard. • Some
of the boys -helped him on the
horse, and placed the reins iu his
hands. Joe bad submitted mechan-
ically, but when be straightened up
in the saddle, and Belsey did not
dash away as was her wont, he sat
for a moment, evidently speechless
with astonishment, and then slap-
ping his leg with his band, exclaim
ed, iu a tone of maudlin despair ;
"' My alt Petsey isa paltry mit
mo,
py 'shing 1'
" '1Veit, Uncle Joe,' said one of
the fellowe who were in the joke,
`I'11 lead Betsey a ways; then aho'11
be all right." • ' r " `
"Tho load from the tavern was
wide and smooth, and had a steep
straight:descent for 2007,feet or more.
At the bottom of the hill there was
a level stretch of a few yards, when
the road ,made steep.ascent tp.the
level country bbydnd a Thai wooden
horse was pulled ttlttn �' until if Was
well -started iratvn the" hill and then
loft to itself. It kept right on, and
as it increased its speed Uncle Joe
gave a whoop of delight. Two or
three of the boys ran after the horse
to note the result of the joke
when the clmax came. The effigy
sped down the steep, hard hill,
scooted across the level space at the
bottom, and started up the ascent
on the other side. There its speed,
of conrse, '•soon decreased. The
horse finally came to a standstill,
and thou backed down the hill and
stopped on the level at the bottom.
Uncle Joe, npparently dumfounded,
sat still for a moment, and scrambled
out of the saddle. He passed his
It is all very well to pretend that
the tampering with the Lord'sprayer
of which i1lr. Ross has been guilty
is merely the substitution of the
revised version for the King James
version. That wouldbe a very
good explanation were it true ; but
it 'is not true. Any person who
will look at the revised and expur.
gated Bible readings provided by
Mr. Roa9 will find the prayer Which
is substituted for the Lord's prayer.
As the Ross bible wart made at
the dictation of Archbishop .Finch
awl in such a manner as pot to ens
danger the faith or morals of pupils
attending the public schools, so the
ame"de,l prayer --the improvement
upon the. Lord's prayer—is especi
ally constructed so as not to offend
children of Roman Catholic parents.
t There are people in Ontario who
believe that the Bible and the whole
Bible is a book good enough to be
placed in the hands of children, and
that not only does it not need ex-
purgation or improvement, but thr•
it is sacrilege to attempt to expur
gate and improve it. So there are
people who believe the Lord's
prayer to be one which can hurt
nobody and which is not suscept-
iute of improvement. The Roman
Catholic authorities thought dif-
ferently. They believe the public
school system to be "an unqualified
evil," and they proposed to destroy
it. That cannot be done at once,
however, and, in the meantime, they
dem„uded changes which would
snake it as little -dangerous to•the
church as posible. Mr. Ross bowed
to their commands and made " as
many changes as he dared stake:
The hope of the hierarchy is that
the •present excitement will blow
over, and that it will then be puss
sible to make further demands.
The prayer aubestituteel by Mr.
Ross for the Lord's prayer is a very
good one. Nobody will be the
worse who earnestly and reverently
u: -es it. That is not the point, how
ever. The outrage is that anybody
should set tip a human substitute
for the hallowed words. of divine
origin, which have come down
through nearly nineteen centuries,
and which haye . satisfied the
spiritual needs of so many milli"ua
of earnest souls. The substitution
Of ;this.nt,.b prayer is sal' invHetion of
the ri+ligioura liberfibd of 'the isCo1j,le
compared with which the grant of
$400,000 to the Jesuits and Rnmaii
Catholic hierarchy of Quehee is the
veriest trifle.
A B10 WNtEKl.
A big strike -was mak., when Powell
do Pavia issued their (Extract of areap-
Arilia' and Burdock. It has met with
great success, and it must, for it is the
most powerful.i,tood purifier in the mar,
kett It ie; used with the greatest success
in ill diseases arising from a debilitated
conditoa of the system, and everyone
geeds, and sho_kLld use a bottle pr two at
this.seesea of the year, of P9aeell's Ex -
;rat of Sarsaparilla and Burdock. Bear
in mind pne• 60,c. bottle •co,ltainr more
solid medicine than moetdetlar ao.ealled
Sarsaparilla and bitters. Also remember
that it is sold in Clinton by all druggists,
price 60e. a bottle. Sold by all drug-
gists and medicine dealers everywhere.
44311v
---A clothier has excited public
curiosity by having a large app,e
painted on hie sign. When asked
for an explanation, he replied : "If
itAtadai't been for an apple, where
would the ready -wade clothing
atones be lo -day I"
A BIG SUCCESS.
For summer complaints and diar-
rhoea I can truly recommend Dr.
Fowler's Extract of Wild Strawberry,
as I have used it in my family with
great euocess and would not be th-
out it. JOHN H. Havex1, urr.
Never travel without it.
—Perhaps it was jocosely that a
pastor remarked that the Roman
Catholic church was fortunate • in
having one infallible pope. In his
Church, he said, he had nine deacons,
and every one of them thought him-
self infallible.
r i;
ONE WAY TO LAY 4 fl{ ST
" Bill Skimmins buried his father
in a most unhandsome way very
near his barn,', said the man at the
other end of the stable. " The
neighbors thought it was a shame,
and made a good deal of talk about
it. One of them thought he would
punish Bill by scaring him, and
laid in wait for him near his father's
grave on a,dark night.
" As Bill went by on his .vay
from the barn the man rose up as if
from the tomb and exclaimed in a
ghostly voice, " I'm y o'er father,
13111 I"
Who said you warn't I" Bill
answered. .'Gil, down thar inter
NATIONAL PILLS are sugar goat
ed, mild but thorough, and are the
best Stomach and Liver Pills in use.
—The Brooklyn 'I'itu,.a doesn't
like the English bahit of omitting
the article " the '' before the Raffled
of yachts named after women. The
omisaiou does seem uufortuaste
when it makes such• stateItleuts as
these possible : -"Cora proved slow
in her stays," "Gracie ran her nose
in the mut]," and "Alice careened
and staggered under her heavy
load,"
GET 'T IIE BEST.
Dr. Fowler's Extract of Wild Straw-
berry is the best, most prompt and
safest cure for cholera morbus, dys-
entery, sick stomach, champs, colic,
diarrhoea and cholera infantum
that has ever been discovered. Its
popularity increases each year. All
medicine dealers sell it.
—"I don't say marriage is a fail-
ure," said -Adana' candidly, as he sat
down ou 'a log just: outside the
Garden of Eden .and looked liungri-
ly at the fruit on the other side of
the wall, "but it' I had remained
single this woulclu't have happen-
ed."
CONSUMPTION SURELY CURED,
TOTIIE EDITOR
Please inform your readers that I
hove a positive remedy for the above
named disease. By its timely use
thousands of hopeless cases have
been permanently cured, I shall be
glad to send two bottles of my re-
medy rites to any of your readers
who have consumption if they will
-send Me their Express and P. 0., ad-
dress,
Respectfully, DR. T. Ar. SLOCUM,
164 Voest Adelaide st ,'Toronto, Ont
-At last we know why "uneasy
lies the head that wears a crown."
A newly arrived chiropodist from
the old country announces himself
as late coru doctor to the court of
Germany, and tolls us he has. re-
moved corns from several of the
crowned heads of Europe.
A FAMILY AFFAIR.
We have used Fowler's Extract of
Wild Strawberry in our family of
six persons during twelve years, and
in all cases of diarrh ua, summer
comlplaint,ete,,.i,t..never fitils-to-cure.
This valuable medicine should. be op
hand in every family. ' MRs. ANNA
ALLEN, Harley, Ont.
COSII'MPT1O I' 1 IlitBly,
An old pliysieisu, ret'iled trout.wrestlers,
Kevink }fad plated ill bis hands by an
East Wits rnissiouary the formula of u
ehnple vegetable remedy for the speedy
surf ,permanent cure of Q0,flfemetien,
Bre eehitis, Catwalk, Asthma and all
throat and Lens affections, also a positive
earl rattled' care for t eivous Debility and
all Nervous Complaints, after leaving test-
ed its wonderful curative powers in thous-
ands of cases, has telt it las ditty to make
it known to his suffering follows. Actua-
te,] by this motive and e, desire to relieve
human suffering. I will, serol ,free of
charge, to all who desire it', this recipe, in
Getman, French or English, with fall
tlireeti ns for preparing and ming. Beet
by mail by addressing with stamp, naming
this paper. W. A. /gums, 140 Power's
$lock, Roehes'et e ' tiQ%:eow.'
—An Irish judge tried two
notorious fellows for highway rob.
bery. To the astonishment of the
Court the jurymen found them not
guilty. As they were being remov•
Ed from thv bar the Judge, address -
iii the jailer, said, 't1r. Murphey
you v oul'fOrttatly ease my mind
you would keaag�p these rerpectatt,,ilh
gentle'n,en urftii Ralf:past i,evet
o'tIlokc; fo"r...I'iiteau,to'set out for
Dublin at five „'clock, and I should
like at least to have two hours' start
of them.'
—If a fool knows a secret, he
tells it because h6 is a fool ; if a
knave knows one, he tells it when-
ever it is his interest to tell it. But
women and young men are very apt
•to tell what secrets they know from
the vanity of having been trusted.
Trust none of these whenever you
can help it.
A CONFIRMED ElRUMBLEIll r
Is gtinereilly so because of confirmed'
dyspepsiaor indigestion, caused by
eating too rapidly, bolting food with-
out chewing it euffciently, overload,
ing the 'stomach, etc. Burdock
Blood Bitters cures dyspbpsia and all
kindred diseases.
---There is only the ditreroieu of
an "s" between woman's weakness
and man's weakness. One is gos-
sip and the other is.gosip.
THE H10[JEST PRAISE.
I used a bottle of Burdock Blood
Bitters for my dyspepsia and it
proved a perfect cure, and I was
blessed the day I not it. I would
not he without it now for a good lot.
It is worth its weight in gold. Mus.
W. J. SMITH', Haley Station, Ont.
—An Irishman having been told
that the price of bread had been
lowered, exclaimed : "This is the
first time I ever rejoiced in the fall
of my beat friend."
ADVICE TO Morusas.—Are you die -
tubed at night and broken of your rest
b a sick child suffering and crying with
pain of Cutting Teeth? If so send at
once and get a bottle of "Mrs Winslow's
Soothing Syrup" for Children Teething.
Its value is incalculable. It will relieve
the poor itltle sufferer immediately. De-
pend upon it, mothers; there is no mis-
take about it. It cures Dysentery and
Ditirrhoea, regulates the Stomach and
Bowels, cures Wind Collo, softens the
Gums, reduces Inflammation, and gives
tone ane energy to the whole system.
"Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup" for
children teething is pleasant to the taste
and is the prescription of one of the oldest
and best female physicians and nurses in
the United States, And is for Bale by all
druggists throughout the world. Price
25c. abottle. lie sure andnsk for "Mrs,
Winslow's Soothing Syrup," and take no
other kind.
—A health journal is telling
people "how to lie when asleep."
If it could persuade then] to tell the
truth when awake, it would he do-
ing better service.
QTRAY STOCK ADVER
TISEMENTS inserted In Tun
Nsws RRCoaD at low rates. The law
makes it compulsory to advertise stray stock
II you want any kind of advertising you will not
do better than call en Tews-Record.
THIS YEAR'S
AVL
-Y-1=?,
CUTiland PLUG
SMOKING TOBACCO.
FINER THAN EVER.
SEM
-I\ BRONZE ON -
EACH PLUG and PACKAGE,
517.y
CLOTHING.
ABRAHAM SMITH,
Market Square,
GODERICH.
WEST OF ENGLAND' SU1'1-
INGS & TROUSERINGS,
SCOTCH TWEED SUITINGS &
TROUSERLNGS,' •
FRENCH AND ENGLISII WOR-
STED CLOTHS,
Made up in Best Style and Work-
manship at AbrahLetttl. Smith's.
owe
Pairtting,
;
Plain and : Reparative:
Paper
'Hanging
Now in stock one of the cht'Ltl,e-
anti heat stocks of
WINT.ER CLOTHING
AND CLOTHS.
:A. Full L ire of GENTS' PUR
NQS INGS always in stook. ,=p •
11 will pay you to call on
AICAHAM SMITH
T9TH114111
A WONDERFUL LAKE;'
E WATER DOETN GOOD LI E A MEDIC
t'mabtCAL LAKE FiEME)IES
o`y�P apt PN° P:cti.Ar-
` A
TRY NATURES REMEDY
PUREPE',E'RLESS- POTENT
SOLO BY ALL pRU(GtSTS.
TOTEMOF71EALTNCO1ONDOIV ONT.
K,AISONINING
and. FRESCOJNO.
S.1."^""'1`
1 Shop nest Kennedy's Hotel,
.Q.lbert! Street,
Fa' CLINTON, ONTARIO,
OHARLES•'F, -SPOONER
i
NEW STOCK ! NEW STORE !
ELLIOTT'S BL.O "K, - CL,INTON.
JOSEPH CHIDLEY, Dealer in Furniture.
Call at the New Store and see the stock of
Bedroom and Parlor Sets, Lounges, Sideboards, Chairs, Springs,
Mattresses, etc., and general 'Household Furniture. The whole Stock is from the very
best manufacturers. Pieture Frames and Mouldings of every description.
JUS. CIIIDIAEY, one door West of Dickson's Book Store.
fixe
PRINTING
tttost
THE ACKNOWLEDGED
Leading :; Conservativo ::Paper
OF THE COUNTY, HAS:ONE OF THE
-h• i
Best Equipped Job Rooms
•- - - + - _ . - -
IN WESTERN ONTARIO.
0
The FJoh Prinilnij!
EXECUTED ON THE SHORTEST NOTICE.
e
STOCKMEN
would do well to call on TILE NEws•RECOR!) before placing tirir
orders for
Route Bilis, Fedigrees
Folders, Cards, 86e.
0 0
COLORED PRINTING!
EQUAI. (IN MANY CASES SUPERIOR) TO CITY WORK.
0
BILL HEADS,
NOTEHEADS,�
LETTER HEADS.
0
�qe ci,:pulaton
Talks to TousaiIs.
0
Advortise in The News -Record
A DOUBLE CIRCULATION
ITN THEICOUNTY,OF HURON.!