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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1889-03-20, Page 7.t The Huron News*Record (11.50 a Year -41.26 in Advance. Wednesday. Marclr..Oth.1889 "THE AMERICANS AT HOME." HUMOROUS LECTURE BY MAX O'RELL APPRECIATED BY SCOTOHMEN AND NO SURGICAL OPERA- TION REQUIRED, Max O'Rell, the well known author and lecturer, who is now paying a farewell visit to Scotland, appeared in the Gilfilan Hall, Dun- dee, on the 2nd inst., and narrated some of his experiences of "The Americans At Home." In the course of his remarks the lectdrer said he happened tu bo in Plymouth a few weeks ago, and when there ,he paid a visit to the beautiful museum. Among the treasures he was shown the teapot in which was brewed the tea of the Puritans while they were ou board the May. flower, more than 250 years ago - It did not seem to detract from the value of the treasure that tea was not introduced into the country fur more than a hundred years after the time of the Mayflower, (Laugh• ter.) The old Puritan was nut the gayest or jolliest of_ men—he summed himself sadly, (Laughter.) He suppressed bull baiting, not because it hurt the bull, but be- cause it gave pleasure to the specta- tors. (Laughter.) When the Puri- tans arrived in America the Indians were proprietors of the land, and he felt cunstrained to move against them With his gun, with the view of increasing the number of absen- tee landlords. (Laughter,) Ile met Indians and he. met witches, but he 'Was equal to the occasion— he kept the Indians undar fire and the wit"hes over 1t. (Laughter.) Whatever may be said of the Puri - taus, he believed that they would be forever the glory of England— teapot or no—(laughter)—he would not say Great Britain, as it had only been called great since Soot - land joined the concern. (Ap- plause.) A hundred years ago America had 2,000,000 inhabitants; now it had 60,000,000—all alive and kicking. (Laughter.) TIIE AMERICAN'S LOOKS. The Americans are not at all beautiful, but they are all intelli- gent -looking. Their faces beans with intelligence, and in this main lytconsists th'e beauty of the Ameri• can Wren and women. The men are thin ; the ladies ` are plump. (Laughter.) Your first iinpres- sion, which soon deepens into a conviction, is that the mon live iu a continual round of activity, and the women, in clover. (Laughter and applause.) In all vied -appoin- ted houses you will -find behind the 'dining -room door a place with a brass plate on the .wall. On that brass plate there aro four buttons. You touch the first—there is a cab at the door; if you had touched it twice the cab would have had two horse;, (Laughter.) You touch the second button—there is a policeman at the door—(laughter)— inquiring if there are any burglars. (Laughter.) Yon touch the third, a telegraph luessonger; you touch the fourth, and there are the fire- men, with all the rest of it. (Laughter.) There is always some- thing new in America. When he was in Chicago there was a propo- sal about using as a motor for sewing machines the talking power of women. (Laughter.) They wore to got the woman's chin con- nected some way with the wheels. (Great laughter.) A TITLE TO RESPECTABILITY. In Scotland a man who lives on his private income and does not work goes by, the name of a gentle- man ; in Chicago he is called a loafer—(laughter) — and perhaps that is the best name for hint. Ifo remembered once, when in one of the principal houses of Chicago, of the mistress of the house pointing out to him a young fellow, saying, "Iios is three tinges a millionaire. For many years ho would not work, and people began to shun him ; now he lee started a newspaper ; he is losing money fast, I believe ; but ho is respectable." (Laughter.) The ordinary American enjoyed all liber- ties, es,feclally those he took with his fellow creatures and the English grammar. (Renewed laughter.) When he speaks you imagine it ie through his naso ; he buzzes rather than speaks. If they heard two Americans talking they would fancy they heard the distant dron- ing of the Scottish bagpipes. (Laughter.) An American will ask yon point blank where aro you from or where are you going ; it is an acts of good fellowship. (Laughter.) IIo would tell you all about himself in a minute --all yon require to know. He would lay his hand on your coat, and ask how much you gave for it, If you happen to have in your bag any bananas, oranges, or apples, ho will help himself. (Laughter.) That is not an act of rudeness, it is An act of good fellowship, because he will expect you to help yourself —if Ire has anything. (i,aughter.) Ti1E MOST OB.IECTIONAni.E [HABIT is that of expectorating. The little articles of porcelain seemed to he it' indispensable. In America you could not escape them. There is ono in every room, they sand senti- nel at room•dooreland at your beds, and even tura up at Courts of Jus- tice. The Americans used these targets from the tenderest ago, and they never missed thew. (Laugh• ter.) He had seen marvellous feats of marksmanenip—most marvellous. (Laughter.) In the Capital of Washington, in the supreme Court of Judicature, he saw such a feat. The hall was crowded, and there was an advocate in the midst of a perfect thunder of eloquence. All at once he stopped—saw that thing three yards oil'—aimed at it—right in the bull's oye. (Great laughter.) He expected the judges and the public would cry 'Bravo,' but there was nut even n giggle in the room. Ho supposed there was not a man but said to himself—"There is noth- ing iu that. We can all do as much. (Renewed laughter. • NO MARKED CHARACTERISTICS. A nation scarcely more than 100 years old, and composed of a groat many widely different elements, could not in the nature of things possess very marked characteristics and nationat traits. There were plenty of Americans. but the Atnori- cau did not exist yet. In the East he was as different front the mitt; in the West as Englishman are different from Frenchmen, or Scotch, man, perhaps. He lould give many illti>3trations showing the differences of the people, For instance if a minister iu the East indulged in the pulpit iu semething unorthodox the Yankee won't take any notice, but the following Sunday he will change his church. In Pennsyl- vania . he will writes letters tu the papers. In the West he will wait until the minister appears at the door—and knocked him down. (Laughter.) For instance, int a Western newspaper he saw the fol- lowing :--"A Minister has just lad his nese beaten off by a member of his flock, who took exception to hie remarks in the pulpit"- -no com- ment about it. (Laughter.) THE EASTERN AND WESTERN WiT. In the West the wit is prepos- terous; in the East it is delicate and refiued. He would give them an anecdote from the West to show the preposterousness of it. A young fellow is addicted to drink, and his parents don't know how to cure him. Ono day they catch him dead drunk ; they lay hint in a coffin, and place _a friend -__by. his side to watch-. those stories they told without a smile. '(Laughter.) By-and-by the young fellow wakes in a state of torpor, sits up, rubs his eyes, and looking around, sees the friend solemn. "Where ant II" Bays he. "You are dead." (Laughter.) "Dear; how long have I boon dead ? "Three days."- "Aro you dead ?" "I am." "How long have you been 'dead?" iOThree •weoke." '"Dear, dear i Well, then, you have been here longer than I have been, where can I get a drink?" (Great laugh- ter.) Philadalphia is one of the richest towns in America, but com- pared with towns like Boston, Chic- ago or New York it. is a little bit slow. A man from Philadelbphia was visiting Boston, and while rambling about the place said to a Bostonian, "Yeas, it is very beauti- ful ; but somehow I don't think it is quite so well laid out as Phila- delphia." Says the Bostonian, "It will be when it is as dead as Phila- delphia." (Laughter.) That, of course, was an anecdote which re- ferred to the superiority of Boston, and the superiority of Bostonians over the rest of the human race. Two la,i+ina were one day having a walk net.' Boston. They arrived at the first a ilestone, on which was written,"1 :n: from Boston." One of the la ii' s taking it for a grave- stone, sa;.=, "How simple, how touching. "I am front Boston." (Laughter.} Could anything be more subll a o than the way in which most Arne) icans could combine the sacred and the profane? YEARNINGS AFTER GLAr)STONE. Two years ago, when the late Henry Ward Beecher came to this country, his lecture tour was managed by a Yankee of the purest water. That American engaged Max O'Rell to go the following year to the States, and as he bado 'him good-bye ho said, "I will see you next year, but you are not the European that I wanted."• "Well," returned Max O'Roll, "I an eorryt for that, but who is it you wanted I" Ile said, perfectly calm, but with a sigh, "Ah 1 Gladstone would have brought ale pots of money in the States." (Great laughter.) In America politics are a profession— very well paid profession. A Member of Congress was, paid 35,- 000 a year, but as Americans would say—"They are worth the money." In America, as at hone, there are two great parties—the Republicans and the Democrats—The main dif- Now forence between which is that the ono is in power and wishes to re- main in, 'and the other is out of power and trying to get in. (Laugh- ter.) In America to be a chemist yon study chemistry, to be a lawyer you study lav to be a politician you study your own interest. Immense fortunes have been and were being NISHINGS always in stock. niade in America—he hoped in a straightforward and honest manner. It trill pay you to call on [In had heard certain things, but het ABRAHAM SMITH was not going to turn his back on his + Tfie Question finswefed American frieuds. (Laughter.) The lecture concluded by giving speci- mens of Mark Twain's humour. He was listened to with the closest attention, and at the close was loud ly applauded. HORSE GOSSIP. An English paper makes the following comments on the prices paid there for horses for export, which shows that some very poor horses must bo selected by those who buy tot export : " There is a great din erence between the value of the horses we itnport and those exported from this country. The average value of the former for 1888 was ouly £16 14s. 10d,, while that of the latter was £85 17s. 8d. a price more than .£7 per head above the average of horses exported in 1887. Canada received the great- est liurnbcr of horses we sent, away, Belgium conning next, and Holland, the United States and France fol- lowing in the order here "given, Canada gave the highest prices, the average being nearly £80 por borer), and Belgium the lowest, or about £40. French purchases livereged about £75, and American £56." HAS THE LIMIT IN SPEED BEEN REACHED In a speech before the National Academy of Scie nes recently, Prof, Brower said The English thorough- bred is a inislled breed; and has undoubtedly arrived at the summit. of its excellence. There has been practically nu new blt,gtl iu this bleed since 1860. It has been finished and completed in two sen- ses, First, as to its grade, heredity, blood and character; secondly, as to its speed, in which the limit has been reached. `1"e have faster hoses than our grandfathers, but it is not unlikely that our grand -child- ren trill have a faster breed than we have now. In the case of trutteis there has been a steady increase of speed. The best record is 2:081Less than a dozen horses have ever trotted in less than 2:14. Zhu best record it) • running was made iu Louisville, the time being ip 1:39;x. The nearest that any horse has conte to this record is 1:40, which was dupe last year, A very large number of horses have wade their record but once. There are many that have matte as fast Li:no as those that have records, but in not winning the race they have no record. The record as it now stands may bo lowered. 'When I say that spend, has reached its maximum 1 did not mean that bet- ter time could not be made. I think that 1:39 will bo the spend of runners.. Hereafter breeders will be expected to keep up this high standard of excellenca:sather than to make better time. f —The English and Canadian gov- ernments have arranged to subsidize new linos of steamers to run between Liverpool and Japan, via Vancou- ver. THIS YEAR'S �Lt/LY E TOLE CUT and PLUG SMOKING TOBACCO. FINER THAN EVER. SEE —IN BRONZE. Q4' -- EACH PLUG and PACKAGE. 517•y CLOTHING. ABRAHAM SMITH, Market Square, GODERICH: WEST OF ENGLAND SUM INGS & TROUSERINGS, SCOTCH TWEED SUITINGS & TROUSERINGS, FRENCH AND ENGLISII WOR- ". STET) CLOTHS, Made up in Best Style and Work- manship at Abraham Smith's. in stock (Jae of the cheape- and Next sloths of WINTER CLOTHINC AND CLOTHS. A Full Lina of GENTS' FUR NJ t.Sl^ 411 AMU* Mt POR T 1461 c+c BALL" ILA f-- iTt 0 DRIES imtl DA, c THE CATTLE KING. Aid, Frankland writes :—"r am delighted with your remedy, and I pre- dict for ita large and increasing demand. I have loaned mine to several 'of my friends, and 1 have no doubt it will benefit them, as it did me. . Sincerely yours, G. F. Frankland. A wholesale' provision merchant writes 4."In reference to your Carbolic Smoke Hall and Debellator treatment, I consider them a bona to suffering hu- manity. Yours, etc. James Dickson & Co., West Market st., city." Mr, G. K. Bently, Artist, 81 King et. East, writes :—We have used the Smuke Ball Treatment in our fancily for the last year, and consider it a valuable remedy for Catarrh. Yours respectfully, G. K. Bentley. Carbolic Smoke Ball Co, : Gentle— men,— Everybody working in iron or wood dust should use Carbolic Smoke Ball Scsrral men who work in Gurney.s foundry, and aurae in Eseery & Co.'s pinning mill, have tried the treatment through me, end each proclaimed it the very thing they wanted. Yours truly, John Buchanan, 151 Bathurst street. T. J. Spink, General 'louse Furnish- ings, 92 Queen street west, City, writes: 1 have used your Catarrh Remedy Smoke Ball and Debellator with most excellent cults. Respectfully yours, r. ' J. Spink. W. A. Guile, Wholesale and retail Provision Merchant, St. Lawrence Mar. het, writes :—I purchased your treat- ment about three weeks ago, and from the rapid improvement I have experi- enced by its use, I can unhesitatingly recommend it. Yours truly, W. A. Guile, • Office of F. P, Brazil' & Co Importers and Wholesale Dealers in Wines, Liquors and Cigars, King street east, C. S. E. Co. My dear sir.—I,, reference to the residue of your Carbolic Smoke Ball and Debellator is my family, I will say my son was laid up with a bad attack of bronchitis, which the two physic ens I called in seemed unable to relieve to any extent. Int my anxiety for my child's safety 1 bought toe •Carbolic Smoke Ball Treatment. Tin result from the beginning was everything I could desire, A numher of my friends tried it on my recommendation with uniform good results. Yours sincerely, F. P. Brazil'. Toronto, February I. 1889. Carbolic Smoke Ball Co. Gentlemen. --It is with great pleasure I can testify to the good effects of the Carbolic Smoke Bull and Debellator on myself, and also on my sou, who has been troubled with a trouble in the nose and throat, who was at one time given up by three of She best doctors in this city,, but who le now entirely cured. Sincerely yours, A. MacGregor, 111 Queen st. west. Carbolic Smoke Ball Co. Ge-ttlemen —Dour Carbolic Smoke Ball and Debellator are, indeed,•wonder- ftil medicines. All my regret is my delaying in purchasing them. My bron- chial troubles are fast irnproving under their use. Yours truly. James Macdonald. • With Messrs. Mitchell, Miller & Co, City. Toronto. Feb. 8, 1889. Toronto. Feb. 8, 1889. C. S. B. Co,—Gentlemen--After con- sulting some of the moat prominent physicians in the city for the cure oft Chronic Bronchitis in my family and ependiug a great deal of money—with- out benefit --as a last resource 1 tried your Carbolic Smoke Ball and Debella - tor, which has given entire satisfaction. In fact its effects are everything that can be desired, Yours truly, William Bennett, 152 Sully street, City. Stratford, Jan. 5, 1888. Carbolic Smoke Ball Co., Toronto, Ont: -- Gentlemen. --For some time I have been troubled with Chronic Catarrh, which has cost me a groat deal of trouble and expense. 1 have tried numerous so-called remedies anddiffer- ent physician! 'but ell to•no avail, until I got your Celibate Smoke Bali Treat- ment—which as soon as 1 began its use made its beneficial effects felt at once. I can most cheerfully recommend it to all .i who are in any way troubled with Catarrh in any of lie forms. Yours truly, T. J. Day. Toronto, Feb. 1, 1889. 'Carbolic Smoke Ball Co :— Gentlemen.—I suffered three years since from a severe attack of Diphtheria. My throat gave me trouble periodically since, 1 consulted several physicians and was treated by them with indiffer- ent results. I was induced to get the Carbolic Smoke Ball Treattnent, and am happy to say that since ice use my throat troubles have left me and I am fully converted to the fact that it is a wonderful and efficacious remedy. Mrs. M. F. Mahany, 330 Parliament street, City. Price, loll treatment, $3. For sale by :ill Druggists, By mail 8e, extra. BUSINESS DIREC7'6RY b gen G. H. COOK, Licentiate of Dental Surgery Honor Graduate of the Toronto Schou) off Dentistry. Nitrous Oxide Gas administered for the painless extraction teeth. Opine—Over Jackson's Clothing Store, next to Post Office, Clinton. LWT Night Bell answered. 492y ttedtca1. UR REEVE. Office—"Palace" Brick Block, Itattenbury Street, Resideuce opposite the 'Temperance Ball, Iluron Street. Coroner fur the County of Huron. Od1 hours from 8 a.m. to 6 P. m. Clinton, Jan.14, 1881. 1-y DR. GUNN W. Gunn, M. D. L. R. C. P..bdinburgh L. R. C. 8. Edinburgh Licentiate of the Midwifery, Effie. Office, un corner of Ontario andlWilliau, Sts„ Clinton. 478-3. 3: gal, MANNING & SCOTT, Barristers, ELLIOTT'S BLOCK, - CLINTON. . Money to Loan. A. H. MANNING. JAS. SCOTT. T.1. F. HILLIARD, BARRISTER, SOLICITOR, d:r. Office -•Cooper's new hloek (ground floor), Victoria Street; Clinton. Will attend Divishni Courts at Bayfield and Blyth re PiusATa FUNDS TO LEND at lowest Tutee of interest. 513 �tDWAR I N011y15N LEWIS, Itarrister, Eon J leiter in High Court, Uonreyanrcr, arc., Goderieh and hayfield. Money to loaf' et five and one-half per canton two -third margin. }Aly• field office open every 'Thursday from 9.30 to 4.30 in Swartz hotel bluetc, opposite Division Court Olfiee. 4(01f EAGER & MORTON, Barristers, cc.,.t , God• °oricb and Vinghum. C. Seager, Jr., Coderieh J. A. Morton Wingham, 1-1y. DAVISON & JOHNSTON, Law, Cila,cery,and Conveyancing. Office—West Street, next door to Post Odice, Godorich, Ont. 57. !-) C. HAYS, Solicitor, .ec, (Mice, corner of It* Square and West Street, over Butler's Book Store, Goderich, Ont. 67. .t' Money to lend at lowest rates of interest, j,, CAMPION, Barrister,Attorney, Solicitor in J. Chancery, Conveyancer, &c. Office over Jordan's Drug Store, the roome formerly oceu pled by Judge Doyle. A'zT Any amount of money to loan at lowest rates of interest. 1•1y. Attettetterrtno. y. H. W. E3ALL, AUCTIONEER for Huron County. Safe, at- tended to in any part of the County. Ad - 4r088 order, to GODRRICII P 0. V-17. CHAS. HAMILTON, AUCTIONEER, land, loan and insurance agent Blyth. Sales attended in town and country, m reasonable terms. A list of farina and village tote for sale. Money to loan on real estate, at low rates of interest. insurance effected on all classes of property Notes and debts collected. Goodgarppralsed, and sold on commission. Bank- rupt unk• rapt stocks bought and Bold. Birth, Dec. 16, 1.880 Photographers FosEt ..�� CLINTON. Life Size Portraits a Specialty. Clinton Marble Works, HURON STREET) CLINTON, W. H. COOPER, Jr., Manufacturer of an dealer in all kinds of Marble & Granite for Cemetery Work at figures that defy competition Also manufacturer of the Celebrated ARTIFICIAL STONE tor Building pur- poses and Cemetery Work, which must be seen to be appreciated.—M1 work warranted to give satisfaction. McKillop Mutual Insurance Co, T. NEILANS HARLOCK GENERAL AGENT.€ Isolated town and village property, as well as farm buildings and stock, insured. in,,ranees elected against stock that may be killed by lightning. If you want Insurances drop a card to the above address. 502-tf. Goderich Marble Works Having Wright out Jossen VAN.stor !, •in Goderich, we are now prepared to fur nigh, on reasonable terms, HEADSTONES AND MONUMENTS. GRANITE A SPECIALTY. We are prepared to sell cheaper than any other firm in the county. Parties wanting anything in this lime will find it to their interest to reserve their orders for us, ROBERTSON'&. BELL, May 17th, 1886. 392-3m EXHAUSTED VITALITY! TiIE SCIENCE OF LIFE, the great Medical Work of the age on Manhood, Ner- vous and Physical Debility , Premature Decline, Errors of Youth, and the untold miseries consequent there- on, 800 pages 8 vo., 125 prescriptions for all diseases Cloth, full gilt, only ?Lee, by mail, sealed. illustrative camp e free to alt young and middle-aged mon. Send now. The Gold and Jewelled Medal awarded to tho author by the National Medleal Association, Address P. 0. Box 1895, Boston, Bass or Dr. W. 11, PARKER, graduate of (Tartar! Medical College, 25 years praetice in Boston, who nay be consult• ed confidentially. Speelalty, Diseases of Man Office No 4 Bnlfinch Street 405y litontg to glad. MONEY to lend in large or small sous, o 13' goo4 mortgagee or pentane! security, a the owest current rates. H. HALE, 1lurum-e Clinton. Clinton. Feb. 23, 1851 1 v MONEY. PRIVATE FUNDS to lend on Town and 1.15 property. Apply 10 0. RIDOU'r, Office, next Nswa•RacoaD (upstairs) Albert -St 359 -Sm MONEY TO LEND on good n.crig; ge person al security at lowest eurreet rate Interest. AL 5fe1.10(l.wr C! in to n,i Feb. 280,111888. 48511 gankino. *11036,:a THE MOLS�a EANX. lucorporatcd by Act of Purliawent, 1855 CAPITAL, - • - 1$2,000,000 REST,• - - $1,000,000 Head Office, - MONTREAL. THOMAS WORKMAN, Prepident. J. II. It. MOLSON, Vice -President. F. W0L1•E1tSTAN THOMAS, General Manager Notes discounted, Cbliectionsmade, Draft issued, Sterling and American ex- change bought and said at low- est current rates. 1RTIIIts&T AT 3 PKK CONT. ALLnwE», ON DEPOSITS FRMERS- Muney advanced to farmers on their own note with one or more endorsers. No mortgage re quired as security. H. C. BREWEIR, February, 1N51 Mann er, LLINTUN /1LINTON Lodge, No. 84, A. F. & A 3r. menta every Friday, on or after the fel moon. Viettiug brethren cordially invited. J. YOUNG, w. M. J. CALLANDEP, Su Clinton, Jan. 14, 1881. 1. L. 0. L. No. 710, CLINTON, • (E/r;?. Meese SECOND Monday of every month. Hall, Sad flat, Victoria -� block. Visiting hrctllien always }.. •!!0 made welcome. C. TWEEDY, W. 31. W. S. SWA1•'FIELn, Sec. H. S. COOPER, D. SI Jubilee Preceptory trio. i61, (Black Iiniflite of Ireland) Meets -in- -the I'rirnurr orange Hail, the second Wednesday of every 1000111, at 7.30 o'clock in the evening. Visiting Sir Knights will aiwuys eecirc a hearty welcome. A. S1. Tone, tlbrehiptul Preceptor GROROe HIANLEY, Deputy Preceptor Wmw,M McGee, Registrar Royal Black Preceptory 397 Black Knights of Ireland, Alecto in the Orange Hall, Blyth, the R'ediea• day after full u100/1 of every month. Royal Black Preceptory 315l Dlacl, Knights of Irelu(id, Meets In the Orange Hall, Goderich, the Thi, Monday of Ivory month. Visiting 1(ni ,1 , aiway wade lvelenme. JASIES WELLS, Preceptor, Saltford P 0 W H MUltNEY, Registrar, Godcrieh 1' 0 CLINTON :KNIGHTS OF LABOR. Rooms, third flat, Victoria Muck. Itcgulr meeting every Thurpdsy evening at 8 o'cioc ,harp. Visiting Knights made welcome. FOR FIRST CLASS, HAIRCUTTING AND SHAVING. Go to A. E. EVANS, FASIII(,NA1t1F BARBER, 2 doors east of NEws•Rrenf:D of- fice. Special attention given to LAM4:r1 AND CIIILDREN'N Hail= tiieg. P03ipAnot'1t HAIRCUTTING A SPECIALTY. WILL CURE OR RELIEVE BILIOUSNESS, DIZZINESS, DYSPEPSIA, DROPSY, INDIGESTION, FLUTTERING JAUNDICE. Of THE HURT, ERYSIPELAS, ACIDITY OF SALT RHEUM, THE STOMACH„ HEARTBURN, DRYNESS HEADACHE, OF THE SKiN, And every species of dls.sss arising frosts disordered LIVER, KIDNEYS, BTOMAOii, BOWELS OR BLOOD, T. lith i V -.i it 4- CO.. ProprtTORONTG. A1111171� BN tloa'''ft-)I(OPERTY FOR SALE Oft pp. l RENT. —Advertises will find "The 11 News Record" one of the best nu•,liun in the County of Huron. Ad ertise in "The News•Itecord"—Tho Double Cirruhntloe Talks to'fhou'atla. Rate as low as any. 4 gyp,:,