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The Clinton New Era, 1887-07-22, Page 31'10ItAY, JL'l.1' 22,3 h7. HUMOR. 'The coolest man,' declares a contem- porary, 'is the man who takes things eas- iest,' Exaetl, . Such a man is apt to get into a cooler. Don't call a very large, strong, sinewy man a prevaricator. If you are sure he is a prevaricator hire another man to break the news to him. Wife—Oh, doctor, Benjamin seems to be wandering in his mind. Doctor, (who knows Benjamin) —Don't trouble about that—he can't go far." A writer on political economy says :— "it's the little leaks that tell.' Yes, iu deet' ;a little leak will give you away as well as an overgrown onion, 'Do you rectify mistakes' (sere,' asked a gentleman as be stepped into a drug store. 'Yes sir, we do,if the patient is still alive," replied the urbane clerk. A r'rench farmer writes to his landloro: "I have a great deal of stock on hand. Should you want an ass, an ox or a pig please remember your obedient servant." "It is love that makes the woil•l go round,' we are informed by the poets. It is a somewhat notable fact that a very lirnited quality of pour whiskey will pro - c tate the same Meet. ' 'Ma,' said Bertie, 'should I say pants or trousers.' 'Trousers, my dear,' said the mother. 'Well,th.en,'said Bertie, 'I tnink Bridget bad better give Fido some water ; he trousers awfully.' "It is said no one is allowed to. speak when dining with the Queen of England " This is decidedly inconvenient. What is a fellow to do when he wants another price of pie? Perhaps he is obliged to "whliitle tor it." Ex -Mayor Robert, Bowie, Brockvle, Oat., says: I used Nasal Balm for a bad, case of catarrh, and it cured me after having in effectually tried many other remedies. It never fails to give immediate relief for cold in the hbad. A girl in Wisconsin has horns on ber forehead, which she covers with her hair. She -probably got the idea from the strong- er sex, some of whom frequently have Urns in the mouth which they cover with their mustaches. A youngster sat watching his mother while she 'pitted" cherries. She inadver- tently passed oue without removing the stone. Hopeful immediately picked it out with the remark : 'Here's one you didn't unbutton, mamma.' " Father" said the farmer's boy, as he rested on his hoe, " they say the fish bite first rate now." "No, do they?" responded the old mast ; "well, you goon and finish this patch o' corn anI'll skip down to the creek an' see what kind o' luck I'll have." And bad I better speak with your father to -night, dear ?' lie asked, as be suddenly continued to hold on to her with both arms. `No, George,' she answered,. from his top vest, button, 'not to -night. It is nearly twelve o'clock, and papa has doubtless gone to bed.' 'Young man,' said a stern professor to a student who had been charged with kissing one of bis daughters. 'Young mac, don't you get into that habit — "You'll find that kissing is like eating soup with a fork.' -'How so, sir,' asked the student. `Because, you can't get enough of it.' Avoid, by,nll means, the use of calomel for bilious complaints. Ayer's Cathartic Pills, entirely vegetable,have been tested forty years and are acknowleged to be,tbebest remedy for torpidity of the liver, costiveness, and all der angements of the digestive apparatus. At a recent marriage in a suburban town the bridegroom, when asked the im- portant question if he would take the lady for better or worse, replied, in ahesitati-ng manner, 'Well, I think I will.' • Upon be- ing told that he must be more positive in his declaration, he answered, 'Well, I don't care if 1 do.' ' Pink silk,.uigitt dcesses.are.arnongthe newest importations. When a man clad in a pink silk night gown, gets out of bed about 12 30 a.m. to hurl a bootjack at a complaining cat, the probabilities are that heis in nolmore pleasant frame of mind than if he had been rpbed in a •muslin night- shirt costing 20 cents. The Boston Journal of Education says :_ ="One of the most .mournful things in nature must always be the inevitable ten- h young man in love toimagine .dent of e 9 y g g hiniselfa poet." A still more mournful thing is that so many )people imagine themselves poets without even the poor excuse of being in love. /n Brief, and to the Point. Dyspepsia is dreadful. Disordered liver is misery. Indigestion is a foe to good nature. The human digestive apparatus is one of the most complicated and wonderful things in existence. It is easily put out of older. Greasy food, tough food, sloppy food, bad cookery, mental worry, late hours, ir• regular habits. and many other things which ought not,to be, have made the American people a nation of dyspeptics. But Green's August Flower has done a wonderaful work in reforming Ellis sad business and making the American people so healthy that they can enjoy their meals and be happy. Remember: — No hnppiness without health. But Green's .August Flowers brings health and • happiness, to the dys. peptic. Ask your druggist for a bottle. Seventy-five cents. PERrII NE WS. fir Joseph Skinner, Mitchell,has lost his fine imported heavy breeding mare'. The loss will be at least $1,000. Mr P Barbour has just opened out a grocery business in the shop formerly occupied by Messrs McLean- & Adams, St Marys. Jas Macdonald Caven, eldest son of Collector Caren, has been appointed an NIA excise officer for the district of Stratford on probation. A. Caren, collector of Inland revenue, of Stratford, seized an illicit still and ar- rested two of the proprietors Thursday night; in the township of Elma. There is some talk of the Rev Mr Moorehouse, of Gorrie, being appointed to succeed the JtnvMrMeCoch,stt Win; •y. hum. 'file parish•luust be considered a very important one .ts fully two dozen clergymen, either directly of indirectly, Ihave been trying to get it. Ayer's So1•eapai ilia is the wast tfftetive blood purifier ever devised. Itisrtca mmend- ed by the best physicians. Mr Et u1 Murray, fur merly teacher of S. S. No 7, Harrington, and well-known in this vicinity, is home from Britisl Columbia, whither lie went some years ago. Mr "Vin O'Rourke, of Dublin, was seriously injured while working at a raising on Tuesday at McKillop. By some mishap a sill fell upon the unfor- tunate man and crushed in several fibs injuring the lungs. He is not expected to recover. Young or midde•aged men suffering loom nerv..us debility, loss of memory.premory; lil as the result of bad habits, should send 10 cents in stamps for large illustrated treatise Address, World's Dispensary Medical Asso cia•ion, 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N.Y. The funeral of the late Robert Dun- kin, formerly of Dublin, took place'on Sunday last. ITe died at Port Rowan, where he had lived for several yearn, Deceased was one of the pioneers of the Huron District, and was one of themes to whorl the county of PeI't11 is indebted for a good deal of its progress. He fill- ed a number a public offices, being the first collector for Do}vnie. He was 'the sole survivor of the first.commission of peace issued for what at the time was known as the 'Huron tract.' NEWS NOTES. Krupp, the famous maker of cannon, is dead. • Forty-nine Canadian horses for Brit- ish cavalry and artillery service,have ar- rived at Woolwich. The- Manchester Guardian says .the position of the Dominion Government iu relation to the Manitoba railway dis- dispute is untenable. A hotel keeper at Orangeville, named Bennett, who brutally assaulted a con stable while the latter was serving Scott Act summonses, last week,has been sen- tenced to three months in jail.. There is a mare with a mustache in Mt. Vernon, I11. She is a gray and the mustache is a light blonde, and extends entirely across her upper Hp and grows out at each corner about three inches. Each ends curls nicely,and the mustache is quite becoming. A toothpick rnanufacturingassociation in the Eastern States, who have their centre in Maine, have contracts for the coming year sufficient to load a train of 50 cars with nothing but toothpicks,and meanwhile will take out of the State of Maine five thousand millions of these little implements. 'Among Englishmen,'sgys tl>_eLondon Etheneum, 'we, of course, include our brothers of the United States.' " The Canadian Opponents of' reciprocity do not soregard our neighbors. They would fain make the. people of Canada believe that the people of United States aro not brothers, but a pack of rascals, with .brothers, it is positively dangerously to trade. Roman Catholic priests of Worcester, Mass,, have been taking their congrega- tions severely to task for engaging in the liquor traffic. One of themsaid-_he no• ticed with shame that ont of thirty-one_ applications foi' liquor licenses within the limits of his parish, twenty-nine came from members of his congregation. It. is a most encouraging fact that so many of the Rouinii"Catholic Clergy Ih'e becoming awakened to the disgraceftil nein e.of the traffic. A young woman visiting in Congress street, Portland, -Me., was awakened by a noise in her room tale dther night,when a burglar put his hand over her mouth, kissed her and said :-'Keep still, sis ; 1 won't hurt you ; all I want is those a n trinkets.' She managed t r 1 1. m �.d to rouse the 'muss., when with a polite 'Good -night, sis,' he sprung from the window, having a bundle containing every portable arti- cle of value in the. room and a sum of money. He- left his hat behind, and it was hung on the hat rack in the front hall to be given to the police as a clue. The family retired and the burglar re- turned and stole the hat. The best regulators for the summon and bowels, the hest curt for btliousnees. stet( head• ache, indigestion And all affections arising from a dlsordcred liver. are without exception John- son's Tome Liver Pills. Small in sire, sugar coated, mild, yet effective. :etc. per bottle,eold by Worthington's druggist. One of the noted characters of Cincin- na• i, the "steeple -climber," died quite re- cently. His name was Joseph Rodriguez Weston and for nearly thirty years he has been climbing steeples in that city. No point was too high and dizzy for him to reach and malt, tain his steady foothold. Of late year, he would undertake only those difficulty feats that appalled others. It was his pardonable boast that lie could go as high and higher than any otter man. There are inane .stories of his hazardous exploits. Thu inns;, notable, probabl'y,was the draping; of the Cathedral spire on the night following Archbishop Purcell's death. On tae ground below were three or four thousand people eagerly watching for a glance at the daring man as the lightning flashes revealed him on the dizzy height. A nice point in law of importance to both employers and employees, is to be tested in ti.o Toronto courts, some fifteen employees of T. P. Wagner & Co.,Toronto who were receiving full wages and had nothing to complain of, were called out on strike by the Executive Committee, of the Carpenter's Union, in the hope that such action would hasten a satisfactory termination of the difficulty. A few days later Mr Wagner sent the men a note in- forming them that they were discharged from his employn•acnt. On Satfirdas they presented themselves for their wages and were astounded nt receiving in some cases leas than half what they expected. One • ipan who bail corned $14.66, received an envelope containing 25 teats rind a contra account foe the remainder, Mich was charged up as a less entui-led be desertion of employment. This roan was emp•oyed uu a► Machine, the stoppage of which is calculated at a rate of $1 50 per day • Others were dtducted $2, $4 and :t•6, ac cording to the work they were engaged on. Mr 11'ngner claims to have good grounds for his aetiun. The men were receiving all the wages they asked for,and on June l lth, an agreement was signed by both parties for one year. At a meeting of the men it was decided to 'Jaye the case tested in court. - TheConservatives proposed to set off the protest, in the Kingston election case against that in East Hustings, hut the proposal was rejected. The death is announced of Aire. Thomp• son, mother of the 11Jiuieter of Justice. Her decease took place at the residence of her sou -in-law, Collector Sargeant, at Barrington, N S., on Saturday. The de- ceased was in her 87th year. News.come,s from Wilson's Beach, New Brunswick, that a ten -year-old daughter of Jeremiah Newman has died from the effects of an indecent assault, committed upon ber several days ago by a man named, Burns, who has since fled to the Stluea. Johnston, a Kingston tough, shot him self under peculiar Circumstances." Hav- ing get himself under poRce surveilar ce, he and a companion secreted themselves in a barn. The hostler entered, and thinking he was a policeman, Johnston fired and seriously wounded himself in the hand. Sir Chas Tupper took passage for Liver- pool by the royal mail steamship Sardin- ian on Friday morning. He had a stormy time boarding her. It was blowing a stiff gale from the north with a heavy sea run- ning. The waves were brilliant with a phosphorous light and were never noticed so luminous before. anun(gve, Marsh 31st, 1887. Messrs. Fulford & Co., Brockville, Ont.: Gents,— A promineut citizen of our town expresses great delight over the miraculous healing proper- ties of your Nasal Balm. He had Buffered for a long time from a severe headache over the eyes, and his head was so stopped up that he was in great distress. One appli3ation gave instant relief, and in two days he was entirely cured. W B Fallerton, Druggist. It is stated in Winnipeg with regard to_ the alleged threat of the Dominion GoveF- ment to refuse Customs facilities to the Red River Vally Railway,that as such ap• plication most come from the Northern Pacitic,the Government would not dare -to retuse it tor fear of incurring the danger of corresponding privileges to Canadian rail- ways being withdrawn by the United States. -s'ZURE1) BY A MIRACLE. Thomas Bedow, an Allegheny City blacksmith, lost the use of his legs two years ago, and his physician told hien .that he was afflicted with an incurable case of paralysis. rie tried every known kind of treatment in vain and then resigned him- self to his fate. Last week Mr Bedow read .an account of a remarkable cure wrought by faith, and when he went to bed that night he;_prayed long and earnestly that he might recover. The moment he awoke in the morning he felt that he was cured. He sprang from bed, danced about the ,fluor, jumped into his clothing and ran down stairs, shouting all the time like a madman. Before ending his antics be ran about -the yard several times to test his new-found strength. Mr Bedow says he' hasn't been so well for twenty years as he is now. Up to the last week AittB F Howe, of Huntington, Ind ,had for more than three years been a bedridden invalid. She safe fered from nervous prostration, was --parti- ally paralyzed and was even too sick to feed herself. Her physicians tall her that death was rapidly- approaching. On the afternoon of Saturday, a few friends came over from the prayer meeting at the church and prayed for her recovery. After• they had gone Mrs Howe, felt better, and in the eveuingshe got out of bed of her own accord and walked around the room unassisted. In the morning she felt like a new woman, and went to chtll'Ch to give thanks for her remarkable recovery.' She grew stronger and heartier every day, and, seems to be entirely well. • Airs 1Valter, Meade, the wife" et an Adrian (Michigan) drayman, had }been confined to her bed for several years with chronic diseases. A short time ago an internal abscess began to soli her remain ing strength, and her case was abandoned as hopeless. At last the physician told her that at the utmost she could live only two days. Mrs Meade prayed earnestly that night to he restored to health, and awoke refreshed. New life seemed to course through her veins; and site, grew stronger every horn. The abscess dried up and disappeared, the other ailments departed and Air; Meade is now well Besides thiit, her husband, a long scoffer at religion, i, now a devout church -goer. Medical circles in Erie are much amaz- ed at the miraculous recovery from para- lysis of Isaac Bally, a Lancaster soldier, who had been a patient at the Erie Sol- diers' Home for a long tipi„e past. He had suffered Almost entire paralysis from a gun- shot wound, and during his stay, at the hoose had been as helpless as a child. A few mornings ago he astonished his atten- dants by dessing himself unaided and walk- ing about the premises as if nothing ailed him. He now seems to be entirely well. Air. Bally is not a praying man. MrsR•ubv Mantel, if Keeler, Mich ,lied beer, Lying ill in bed for eighteen months. until the other day, when she suddenly rose and dressed herself without assistance. She now feels perfectly well, whereas pre- viously she had not been able to drag her- self arnund the house. Mrs Mantel says that she prayed for recovery from the time she was taken i11, and that her prayers just before her restoration to health were no more earnest than they had been. A Chicago woman who had had some success in the Christian science faith cure made an astonishing cure last week in the case of M. F. Potter, an Iowa man. who injured his spine 'ten months ago, and came 'to look on his condition as hopeless, Nine doctors treated him for six months and then gave him up to die, The Chicago woman cured hien in two weeks without administering a drop of medicine, and he is now so well that he can walk a mile at a brisk gait without the slightest ineon venienre, HUWOM ANO BRUCE I.n,l,cl tl11(1 Itivoslilietlt tkt'y This Company is Loaning .ifoacy on Farm S'euritay o! Lee• St liar's ,f Interest. 1MIAs A13 - . - 'PURCHASED SAVINGS BANK BRANCH. 8, 4 and 5 per Cent. Irtteregt Allowed oh Deposits, according to amount and time left. OFFICE.—Corse of Marko Square andNorth Strec HORACE HORTON, Masseur Oneferie August bib t1f30 _ Lolldosborougli Roller dills After being thoroughly overhauled and refitted with NEW MACHINE5Y of the tn. et approved kinds them) mills ere now in splendid running older, end will not bo surpassed iu the quallty of the work done, by any will in the country. Special Attention men to GItlSTINNC, CHOPPING DONE ON SHORT NOTICE. Satisfaction guaranteed. Parties wanting anything whatever in this line will and it to their interest to give us a call. TheiotWeathej"llas llone t LOOK AT 'FHB ! Doz. SILVER PLATED SHEFFIELD KNIVES .& p ORK S, $2.50 3- Doz, SILVER PLATED TEASPOONS, - A BEAUTIFUL SILVER PLATED CRUET, COLORED GLASS PICKLE BOTTLE, - - 50c - a<62.25 - $1,75 AND AO OTHER ARTICLES` AT AS LOW PRICES. I have just received a beautiful case of Eye Test Lense, and • .can now fit any sight on a scientific principle. EYES TEST. E. I1L'BF.R, Proprietor. ED FREE OF CHARGE Best place in town for spectacles • DUNN'SRoBWCOAT$CLiNTON. POWDER a THE COOK'S BEST FRIEND IIRIE 1C.WEST'S FOR TH E LIVER B'L O , r [.t- j .A.0 i -]I —AND-- Ki))%LYS. DANDELION Infallible Blood Puritlerr Totilc, Diu -actio, Loss of App)etite,1ndigestion, Dyspepsia, nilltousness Jaundlcn,Liver Coin plain t,Rheumatism.011 K,d- uey Diseases, Scrofula, DISCUSES peculiar to 1 e - males, Salt Rheum, La zema and all Skin Dis- eases, Ileudachn, Palpitation of the'llearr., Sour Stomach and Heart Burn. Pur'eiyvegetable. Jutta O. WEST & Co., Toronto Invaiids'ijoteI«Surgical Institute TTFPA).O, 1\T- -Sr- Organized, with a fall Staff of eighteen Experienced anti Skillful Physicians and Surgeons for the treatment of ' all (laconic Disetoea, OUR FIELD OF SUCCESS. Chroalc Nasal Catarrh, Throat wndi Luing Diseases, Liver ,and, Kidney ,Diseases, Bladder Diseases, Ilisenses -of Wanton, Blood Diseases and New-, Ous Affections, comm. here or at home with or without seeing the patient. Come an(1 . see 119, or send ten Cents lel stale Invalids' Guide Iliook,»-which gives all particulars. Nervous Debility, impo- tency, Nocturnal Losses, and all Morbid Condition's mused by Youthful Fol- lies and eseriticioatt,soli- tary Practices are speedily and permanently cured by our Book, poet -paid, 10 ets. in stamps. Rupture, or Breach, ra(lf- 'rally cured without the knife. without dependence upon trusses and with very httl in stamps, pain. Book sent for ten cents PILE TUMORS and STRIiVECRES treated with the greatest success. Book sent for.ten cents in, stamps. Address WORLD'S DISPENSARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N: Y. The treatment of many thousands of eases of those diseases peculiar to namiv at the Invalids' Had and Surgical Institute, has af- forded largo experience in adapting remedies for their cure, and , DR. PIERCE>S DELICATE Specialists. DISEASES OF WOMEN. . Favorite Prescription Ls tho !result of this vast experience. It is a powerful Restorative Tonic and Nervine, imparts vigor and strength to the system, and cures, as if by magic, Len. oorrhoa, or "whites,» excessive flowing, painful menstruation, un- natural suppressions, prolapses or falling of the uterus, weak back, anteversion retrot'erslon bearing- down earin -down "sensations, chronic conges- tion inflammation and ulceration of the womb, inflammation, pain and tenderness in ovaries, internal heat, and "female weakness.» It promptly relieves and cares Nausea and weakness of Stomach, Indigos. tion, Bloating, Nervous Prostration, and Sleeplessness, in either sex. PRICE $ I.00, 2,11R0 mast Sold by Druggists everywhere. Bend ten cents in stamps for Dr. Pierce's large Treatise on Diseases of Women, illustrate& World's Dispensary Medical Association, 003 Main Street. BUFFALO. N.Y. SICK -HEADACHE, Bilious Headache, Dizziness, Constipa- tion Indigestion, and on, Attack, promptly cured by Dr. piereels Pleasant purgative Pellets. 25 cents a vial, by Druggists. TIES, TIES, TIES! Big Bargains PRICES FROM 10c, UPWARDS. Before you buy your SUMMER HOSIERY SEP WHAT YOU CAN CET AT GLASGOWS FOR 15c. it 25c. There is no better value shown, G. (LASGOW, Smiths Block, Clinton. NEW GOODS k,VERY WEEK SPECIAL, .ATTENTION PAID TO GETTING NEWEST FANCY ART11C'LES. WE MAKE A SPECIALTY DT -- Wail Paper, Ceiling Decoratioi . choicest patterns, BOOKS & STATIONERY. great variety. EVERYTHING AT -CLOSEST PRICES. ('ALL AND EXAMINE. A- WORTI-IINU-TON, Olintoh. - BUY YOUR - GROCERIES -FROM - Thomas Cooper- & Son. WE ---HAFT Cul -1,- 1.A.1W.EST, (JLEANES'I' 1N-li B.1'.S`_1 .- A:1`IOII.TE 3-- STOOK OF Or E 00EMR, 1E8 In town. Our -prices, aro as 'ldw • ns the• lowest, and we-warvanat•everything - tirst-class;. Sole agents for the celebrated "COOPER'S BAKING POWDER." Best brand of CIGARS by the Box or Thousand at Manuf.ietnrcrs. Prices. TEAS a specialty., Give us a call. os: Cooper & ion, CLINTON. GOOD PRUNES S.:PA'LISER 86 CO. CLINTON. TioPoopIo's HARNESS and Grocery Depol, Londesboro. Having enlarged my show room and got in a first-class stock of G.R'A Irl E R I ES in connection with my other lines of business. I am now prepared to furnish the public with all kinds of Staple and Fancy Groceries,' .Calllned' Goods and Candies, and all kinds of School Books and SLATES,also, fano, articles such as VASES and JUGS, KNIVES, PENCILS, MOUH OR ANS,PIPES, CIGAR HOLDERS, &c'. Also a stock of Patent Medicines kept on hand. My Hartness Stook is more complete in all its branches. I have a few of those BLANKETS and BELLS which will be sold cheap. I make all my COLLARS and warrant them to give satisfaction. REPAIRING prornlltly attended to and cbarges moderate. My stock of TINWARE is also complete, X111 kinds of produce taken in exchange for all .kinds of goods. Thanking my eusto. mere for past patronage and soliciting a continuance of the sante. GEO. NEWTON, - - LONDESBORO