Huron Record, 1881-11-18, Page 7•
r:
We know. Ru old maid w1)o says
bad enough for the men to get rnarr!
without fools of women in$tati
them. .
Class in geography—'" Who can t
ale anything about a strait i!"• asked
teacher. Boy.--" I heard my dad s
last night that it beats two pair,"
The Philadelphia C94roft cls -.ler(
.thinks tidal Eve was .a giddy you
thing, because she got ult,rried svh
Mho was, day old,•
" Six Girls" ietthe rtitlo of the hat
).).Duel. It its expected t11at: t. 8Q91•1 1. e
titled " Our Broken: Gate" will
issued soon.
A. Connecticut pastor deolznes
.addition off 1Q1). to his salary,, for t
reaso.i, among others, that the bttrde
pert of his labors, herc:tofor, 'baa he
the colltx;tiron of leis salary, and
would kill him•to try to collect .$1
more.
The editor of the Kingston Tryeerltt
has evidently been sufic:rilag from
touch of arnica. He shoat,.: " l3ir
up 1ny wounds, bring we another pier
stovepipe and let tho ;battle procee
otharge, tinker, charge! On, stovepip
"Got anything in. your head 1
write about 1" inquired the .excitor .t
hls intellectual slave, " Guess 1 ca
find a little something to scratch off
replied the weary i;enius, 'running h
fingers through his hair, and he won•
•efred why the staff smiled so :beisterou.
ly.
"Provicvss good clist,racter'coontR i
Texas. A Ulan w}io was on trial f
arson brought ' forward witllesmes
prove that he Iwo neglected twc goo
chances to steal horses, and the jar
'atecirled'thtat no srleh man could hay'
been4'kt ilty of burning' a bard.
Young man, don't ,part your -hair i
the middle, woar light' striped. pant
loons, a hatnock hat, dour watch chai
outsadc+,voilr coat, and stuol.e cigaret
•cru the street, under, the impressio
that you are pleasing the masses.. ,i''0
are pleasing " them oases," like .yon
.self that's all.
At eis;ht o'clock the other P moning
.wife followed her husband doivu to th
gate as he was.starting down tow"), an
said to hits :
t't'Jilliaru, yon know how badly.:
need a blue hunting dress.!'' '
"Yes, dear," he romarkedj.,"but yot
know how bard up..i.am. .As soon.. ai
I can see my way •clear you shalt 'hayi
a new dress and a new hat to boot,
.lee patient, be good, 'and yu11'r''reward
shall be great." •
Forty minutes after he emerged frozr
a restaurant, with a..bigfbasl(et .anti
fish pole, bound up the RIVer.. • In th
basket were a chicken, pick•les, cake;
fruit, pie and a bottle of liquor of rich
color, and be was lighting a. 20e ..cigar,
when his wire canlo•s;long,
"What! are you here 4" ht) osclainl•
ed.
"Yes; I was going to zeal ket, •Where
are you going—what's in your basket:?'
"I was going to carry this fish '.pole
round the corner here to a friend on
efferson avenue," he: modestly an.
swered. •
"And that basket?" . '
"This basket—.well, I. was going to
take it to.the asylum as present to the
children. It is a donation 'from six
leading citizens."
"William, I don't believe'it."
"Sh i Don't talk so loud."
"William, I shall talk louder yet,)'
ribs exclaimed. "I'll betyou're going
fishing.
' "Mary have I. ever deceived, rut'
he plaintively asked. "1 never have.
As a proof of my sincerity, you can,
take the basket tai~ the orphan .'ssyluiz7
yourself."
"And I'll do it," she promptly re-
plied, as she relieved hint of 1t. "•
"Mary, hadn't yon•-"
"No sir, I hadn't ! You'd better
harry up with the fish pore, as the man
way want it, and be careful how . you
stand round in the sun.'
She left there.. I•Ie watched her
take the oar for benle,then tie:returned
the fish pole and,erossPd.t'he street and
said to an acquaintance t
"Tom, I'tn auf erieg from neuralgia,
and the excursion is off till next week.
Too bad, but we can never tell what a
day may bring forth."
There were chicken rase pickl ti t id
other good things on the table .at ,(lin-
ner, but be never Belled. •i Even. wX.en'
his wife wished she was ail orphan, If,
that was the way they, were fed, be
newel betrayed the gloom in Miff bairn.
rt wars^tl;nly when he Banded him the
hottle she had so carefully tucked into
the basket and ne sate it labelled,,
" Gored for the ehiidren;f' that he said
" 1V1nry We all awful ehitlg..tc r a
to got tie imprt'sainn thtit her husband
is a "nlcl-binodr.'(1
" It must hr," site replied, as .she.
tot k the other chicken leg.
ed
rig
el1
ay
q
ng
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