Huron Record, 1881-09-16, Page 7WIT AND 111.14101 4.
A tender-hearted loan would always
turn a.. -rite rattier then stele oft 4 wasp
when be was barefooted.
There is always something to reinirit
a luau of the 5hc,rtut:aa, of life, even if
it be taothiug more tir;tie a drug otolre,
or a dtteto's batt.
The young man who worshipped the
very grimed his sten tieari walked, on,.
fell WI his intent.• its 31 hen he learned
that it was heavily. int•rtgaged.
.A. kiss for a blow. -110 had been tel-
ling her stories of himself stud had doue
a great amount of bragging. When lie
bad finished, she kissed hiui and wur-
inured, "This is a kiss for tt blow."
It is said kerosiue will remove stains
from furniture. It has also been known
to remove the furniture, atains and all,
with a stove and a Tsai -1 ided serve:it
girl thrown in oftimes.
"The skepers tell Me tf§u spel tissicic
with ph.,;' $$1eh teachin' •As this don't
Goe amt' ,,must be imejutly stoped,",
wrote al(;,Arkansas scltlie1 director to
one of dip teachers in li s district.
This is the latest western form of
sayiug•a man was hanged : rte was un-
auiwously chosen by a convention of
six property -holders to jump from a
new pine platform into the sweet sub-
eequently. •
A prudent girl ; " Mary is a very
prudent girl. She says to me one day
as she was br("akieg a curd : ( mother I
will never let loose my affections on no
man till I have proved him to be, pious
and in good circumstances,'
Geographical : " Where is ' the
Island of Java situated `'' asked an
Austin school teacher of a small, rather
forlorn -looking boy. " I (Immo, sir."
"Don't you know where cnfi'cte conies'
from f" "Yes, sir ; we borrow it meaty
parched from the next door neighbor."
"I'd laugh if I should fall aiul break
my neck,". jestingly remarked James
Maloney of Tappwn,'New York, -while
in the act of descending from the top.'
of a tall pear tree. The next moment
he lay upon the ground with his neck
broken. But he -didn't 'laugh. What
infernal liars some men are..
Tattle 'Johnny was visiting at a
n eitaghbor's house. 'lie was offered.a...'
piece of bread and butter; which he
accepted, but not with any degree; of
enthusiasm, "What clo you say,
Johnny?" said the lady, expecting.him
to say "Thank you." "I say, it ain't
•cake," was the polite response.•
An observant contemporary notes
that whenever .a'newspaper•says a•kind
word of a man, that man never dis-
covers the favor ; but if a newspaper'
handles a Man a little roughly, the man
finds it out by eight o'z;lock nextniorn-
ing. • This is the kind of man, wlio,
when conferring with the 'editor .on
Iris grievance; says his "attention. has--
been called" to the article in question.
A little girl of six eummere, stopping
with her parents at one of the fas'l.ion-
'able hotels at Saratoga Springs, wasin-
vited at dinner to.take some wine as it.
-was passed around. She declined.'
"Why, do you not take wine with your.
dinner, Minnie?" • asked a gentleman
who sat near her. "Tause 1 doesn't
like it." "But take . a little,- then, my
child, for your stomach's -sake," he
urged. "I ain't dot n� tommiles ache,"
indignantly responded ther little miss
in the most emphatic manner.
The circulationof the 'blood Ilea been
tleutonsterated .by tine inicrofope, and
the proof of the cil'euhttiou of Ester -
brook's Pens is that they are foul (,l
ese)rywhere.
Many ,It t y of tele worstattacks o?x cam-
era morbus, cramps, dysentery and
cholic eeme suddenly ill the night, and
the most speedy and .prompt meao.
must be used to combat -their dire ef-
fec;ta, Dr. Fowler's Extract of Wild
Strawberry is'th'e remedy. Keep it at
itand for emergencies, it newer fails
to cure or relieve,
THE HURON RECORD
18 r011L4$11a0
Every Friday Morning.
At the office, Victoria Block, (near the Post OtIiee)
CLINTON, ONTARIO,
-B1-.
E.' FLOODY, PROP.
• TI;1t11S.-Tris i1PConnwill be sent to subscribers
(postage free) for 81.25 if paid dm mimeo ; 81.50 if
Paid in 6 mouths , 82.00 If paid at the end of he year.
aq paper discontinued till all arrears are paid.
]RATES Oki ADVERTISING, --let insertion, per
lint,, 80.; each subsequent insertion, 2c. Professional
Culls, not exceeding six limy $4.00 per annum.
tar Advertisements without Specific •d,reetions will
be inserted untilforbid, and ebarlad accordingly,
ter Our rates 'for yearly contracts will be made
known on applkution at the office. '
JOB PRlNT1NCL- Book and Joh Printing of every
description emoted with neatness and despatch, on
the shortest possible notice. Orders by mail prompt.
iyattended to. Charges tnodertte.
Aew Sparking Scheme.
A number of fathers who have
daughters, have formed a society, the.
object of which is to charge young men
who visit the girls, for meals, gas, wear
and tear of furniture, etc. There has
been so much sparking going on which
did not mean business, that the organ-
ization has seemed. necessary. The
charges are made every Monday morn-
ing, and if not paid, the young men
are bounced the next time they call
In some. instances it is C. O. P,; tele
payment being made at once. Young
men who mean business do not coin -
plain, because it is understood that if
they marry the girls thti money is re-
turned to them, or used to set their up
housekeeping. In this way quite a
sum is realized.If the sparking does
not result in marriage, the money goes
to pay running expenses of the house,'
or to clothe the girls. A couple was
married on the West Side 'a few weeks
ago, who ]las been keeping companyfor•
two years, and the father of the bride
presented to them two 'hundred and
seventy dollars and fifty cents• The
most of it was for gas and coal, though . Only Imported b) -
CIFURCII DIRECTORY.
Canada Methodist.-Set•vices at 10.30 A. 10. and
6.30 p, lu.• Sabbath School at 2,30 p. m, Its'. Ws.
:ltellox.an, Pastor. -
Canada Presbyterian. -Services at 11 a.m. and (3,30
p. in. Sabbath School, 2.30 p, m. loss. ALEX. Srsu'..
ART, Pastor. -
St. Paul's (Episcopal), -Services at 11 a.. m. and 7
p, to. Sabbath School and Bible Class, 3 p.m, Rev.
W CRAW, Iteetor '
Bible Christian. --Services at 10.30 a, in. and. 6.80
5}1. in. Sabbath School; 2:.30 p, nt. Ray. R. '!'loans;
Paster. •••
-
Ba4ctist Church Service at 10,$O a.m. and 6,30 p,m,
sabbath School, 2,30 Wm. REV, J. GRAY, Pastor.
TRAVELLING -GUIDE.
Grand Trunk '
EAST.
Pass:Exp s. Mixed... Mixed, '-
Cklderle3:•, Ll' 7.00a 111..I2.05 p m..3.1K•p'm ..51 00 a ni.
Holrneatrtlle , 7.20 " ,:12,30 " „8.50. " ..0.40 "
Clinton:. .:-7.30"•.,12.45 "•..4.15 " 10,00 r'
Seafortit -..7 50 ' ..: '110 _4.45.."- 1150. ' •:,.
Dublin , 8.03 " .- 1.30- " 5.10 ". 11,25 "
MIti tell 8,15 " .. 1.45 " ,.,5,3fi 11.55
Sebilnlvi11e,:8.821 2.05 ", .6.10 " 12.35pm,.
Strrtford...Ar8.45 " .. 2.15 " ..630. " 1.00 "•
• WEST.
•
Pass. Exp's. Mixed. • Mixed.
Stratford Le 1.20 p m 7,'50 p h1 .7.00 a m-3,45 i 01
.Sebringpille 1.30 " 8.05 " 7.30 ' ,4.10
Mitt:hull 1'.45 " .8.25 ,.8.15 ' ..4.45 '"
Dublin. ..2.00 "' .-8.40 �'' .:8.45 " .'5.10 .i•
Senfortli 2.17 "t • „8,55 ' ,. 9,15 !
Clinton 2,40 " .9,15 " 10.00 4," 0,15.
Holutestiiie 2,50. ,926 .10,20 ;6.35 4"
Go(ieeeh•-Ar3.15 ,.9.50 ! 11,00 " ..7:15 t,
,i
Great Western. •
- Express: ; Mail. Express.
Lotidlon .'. .. 7.40 a 10....2.20 .li m 1525tri
Hyde Pork , 750 ." •2;30 t 6,35 p"
Ilderton ; 8.65 " 2.49 " A 52,
Brecon 8.15 " 8.00 " -7.03
•Clandcboyo.:. 8.26 "„ 3.11. " .•.7.14.
Centralia 8.40 -345 �' 7.28
Exeter.... 8.52 . ..
Hensel' ' 0,05 w0' d 52
. ' ..7..53
Nippon. . 9.11 ' '.3 67' " ,.7.59
Brucofleld 9.21 " . .4.07 "...8.08
Clinton.. ...... 0.39 " ,4:23' " '..8.25
Londesborough 2.s8 " .•4 41 ...8.45;
Blyth.. . ,..10.00 "' .4.50 '" . ; .8.52
,13elgrevc ..10.24 "". .5.00 '" ..9.00
;.10.43 !', ;,5,25 '". ..9.25
SOUTH, '
Express. MaO. l: press,..,
Wingba,n • . t 00 a m.2.55 p nt 0 20 p n1
Belgrave. .. •7 18 " .. 313 • „5 38 ""
Blyth 735.'^ ..328' " .,IS f"5 "
Londesborough 7 44. 4' -3 30 ""-7 04 "
Clinton 8 02 " .. .3 54 " 7 24 ' "
nruceaeid.; .. 8 20 " ....407 " ..,7'43• "
Kipper.. 8'30 " , 415 " ....7 50 "
Hensali.. .. 880 `" ... 4 20' ' .500 '"
Exeter 852_" ..4 32 " ...,S25.
Centralia.: ." 0 02 " 4 42. " ,8 43
Clandeboye .. 910 " 454 •,003 "
,
Brecon . 927 "" .:504 ' ...018 "
Ilderton 988 ."....518. " ...035 it
Ettrick, 9' 47 . "'
hlydePark.,•
950 "' ...520 "" ; 1000 ."t
London „ ..10 05 ' . 5 '35 " ...1010'- "
.1
t
..
"
"
4!
V.A. Lt1TABLE
bots
for Salo,
N. BLYTH.
1. Part of tot No. 3, Block "A," Queen. Street Mc-
Connell's survey. This lot is in the eentrc of the
business part of the'r'owu, andhas frontage enough
for three stores
2. fart Nos. Two and 'Three, Queen Street, Drmu-
mend,ssurres--very conv,eniently situated.
3. hots Nes, 11 and 12, Block " C," McConnell's sur-
vey --very suitable,, on which to erect private red.
dunces. TERMS EASY.
For further particulars, apply to
or to the 0. FLOODY,111yth.
RECORD OFFICE, Clinton
$I,O'OO FORFEIT,
Tnnnix Cancer Cure Depot,
Coatieook, P, Q., canoe.
'AN C E R1 01171E
without toe use . of the Knife.
The only Permanent Cure in the World. `
For particulars enclose two 8 cent ;tamps to S. C.
Sutra, Coatieook, P. Q., Canada.
/C' highest references.
'CURES SWIFT AND CERTAIN.
Any paper can publish the above for $5 a year, with
thin note turd paper regularly. ,
-AND<
awe Properlies
FOR SALE.
GOOD BARGAINS.
That first.class Fannon. the Iluron Road, 'near
1. lhtrpurboy, Lot 33, in the first concession of
Me101iop 101 acres, (80 cleared) adjoining the pro-
perty of f;. Meyer, Esq. Log'a ndd Fnuue house, large
Frame learn, good Orchard, Sze. Apply to Sir, tv5r, -
'WHITELY, RLuxQtt Road; Tubkersinith-or to the
undersigned -
n Lot .in the Twelfth Concession of Ooderieh
,- 'T▪ ownship, near Ilahnusvilloi-80 Acres, about 40
elt,u•ed, balance well timbered. Frame house and
stable. Well suited for a dairy or gluing farm; Only
8200 required downier would he exchanged for Town
property, Appy to ,)1r, E 5I011NTCASTLE; Blyth,'
of to the'ubdersivned
0 The valtIOE% Hotel property on Victoria Street;
s) C'linto, known- ns 1.)3136', hotel, now occupied
by Ur. George hito); comprising a largo hotel build.
• ing, driving shed, four choice TAu n lots, &11 -
4 That elegant two. steiry frame dwcllilig houst on
,' Iluron Street, Clinton, formerly -held byJ,.C.
. \11Uur; nowvecuufcd b,Ysly. John P„ Martin - .
r Tile comfortable frame, cottage on North .Street,
r.). which belonged to tete lute John Pugh, uow.oc.
.copied by: Mr. John Bailey -with two Inge lots; good
.•garen, &a_-neatthe .l•las - .
✓ Tho good Prange -cottage and large lot 110.. 063,
. i} on Erre Street, Clinton.' The lot is near the
Just"ties! of the two •railways, and may hereafter bo
,ratttrtblc as a factor) site. - •
t
'lie Also' other lots and buildings for sale.•, Apply'
H..WAI.E,
Clinton',: April17, 1881., Iluron' St.,'Olfnton
DI.YT�I 'CAI I'
GOSM AN & DODDS
Are now prepared to dd all kinds of worli to their
line.- Having put in 'a grain .°rather, oro are able
to do chopping at any and on the shortest notice -
G0s1IAN DOlyl)S,
f31411 Dee. 17 1880. ' 4241.
Ears fors the Million -1
Foo Choo's Balsam of Shark's
. Odil, ..
Posttivelli Restores es the Batwing,. mut ts.
. the ;Olaf Absolute gture,}rr7° Dtr cess
Isamu, .
This 0B isextracted from it peculiar species of•emall;
W,irts SilAknt, caughtin the Yellow :tea, kmnvn as
Carchdrodans Rendcleeii. Every Chinese fisherman
knows it. tta'virtues item restorative of hearing were
'discovered by Buddhist Priest about the year 1410.-
. Its tures wer0 to nlfitiet1tis 1311(' 1148 U1 ANNMI\dt,Y •
MIRACLLOt•N,,, that the rcluody was officially Illy pro lammed
over the entire Empire. ' Its use became so unfl'4 ,1
that for oven 300 11;,3130 NO D2APU134 ons 11`41,1111'
ANIONO T1111 C11131180 4501.04. Scut) cha'ges'lu'r ,idd, to
Any address, at $1 per bottle.
Jahn" . $alga
(11NT T L
.ANL
enteral-- Outfitter ::
(Carson's Block)
CLINTON. U TT.:
Clinton I arb1 Jorks
HURON STREETI ,CLINTON,
bianlifucturer of and defiler hi all kinds of
Marble & Graniite for Cemetery
• Work; at tlgures that defy.compotition..
'Also mnnti-ft ctnu:r of the Celebrated.
ARRTIFICIAr, `SrON:2 tor Building' lair
doses anl.Ceuutety'Ztrork, which lutist
be seen to be appreciated, -All Work
warranted to give.satisfaction.
•about sixteeu dollars was for'a front ' HAYLOCK
CO. !
sola. AONN\TS Pott A:tlrnlCA. I 7 Do `t., New York'
gate that was broken. The young man
:. irked on paying for repairing the • its v'nett'us are tr»gursarniable anti lts rt,, tidess O,ir
to at the titres alleging that some acft', r(03332 6,J, as l.60 or
• , , g'• a kilt ,frnni rx)ae)ticzt:e um
one elate had been there, but the old rl Anwng the tunny rend(ns nil tt
and,1411g tl:C cm -oily, i )•o:1•
CLINTON
a:rriage Works.
MANUPATUREB
BUGGIES
PROPRIETOR,
OP'
CUTTERS,' WAGONS, SLEIGHS, &C.
"ThI13ER ANI) SHINGLES taken hi exchange, Give nus a "call and I will sive
you pmss that cannot be beaten in the County. Repairing and Ilorseshoeing done
with despatch. - -
CANTELON.
FOS
TER
PHOTOGRAPHER, • r
Beaver Block : -, Clinton.:
-
�' FINEST FINISH !: : G� STYLESLATEST1
FURNITURE!! FURNITURE!!
0
Clinton Furniture - Ware -Rooms No. 77 Brick Block.
�0--
Owing to the increase of business during the past year, . •
Have taken out a mew lease of No, 77, and will contiliue to do business n8 for)nerly....
We have urrtetied ut tele present time sts fine a stock 8f Furniture es,wns ever on exhibition. in this Town,.
,which we will sell et a very SSIALI. ADVANCE ON COST. As we manufacture, all our own, Coeds, we are pre.
pared to give.our customers BETTER GOODS for LESS MONEY than can. be obtained olsewhore :, .
E ',,
. _ ALL Gt'�.ODS V00'ARR/�N'�' D� �
P. ROUB, Ma si:tgell" A. RENNETT, Salesman
•Detain miss the place ,Igo. t LBrick Block. }
I3arn.ess; .Light,'
•--AND
arneSS'• •Heav .,
r�
Call always be had at the LOWEST ..
RATES, at .
NEWTON '& DENNIS'.
'also a Large Stock of `.
ti
alil��CS,
.J
w l it h will bo sold CI EAP.'
. "v e 151E giving Spacial .13argitins' in
'I'1'uf)hil.and "Valises. Our stock is very
1nl t'tt enlarged this •Spring, in all tee
TEAS ! :. TEAS!
GREAT ItEDIRICTIONNS IN TEAS.
Never :Such ` Good: tfalue 'as at the Present ' Time. .
New sensori;. lull flavor, Young_ Hyson, 5, cents
ew season, Spring iteat'.Jttpan '(M�t,ay.picking 60. cents
. - . Anew. Season, Black. Tea a (Oongou) 50. cents, ,
• New: season, Eugtish Breakfast, . 60 cents. -
New season Beacl,ing,...Coilgou, Orange Pekoe, Fongtiii, Assaln, ''Fonfoasa. ;
New'•?stock just Received, And put' up in 5 II . Caddis, at City Prices Liberal lis-
• count to 'dealers. • • •
•
S.,.PALLiSER &'.CO.' 99 BRICK, BLOCK, CLINTON.
.4" £a�lliseri'.:. T. White. • •
To the Ejectors of ,the 'County of ,Huron.
TWITCH -I Z'S 'I.3ARNES:$ :DEB
is the b,st and oho :pest place In the county to buy your
LIGHT. AND HEAVY HARNass'
Whips; 'Trunks; , Vallises, &c:
GREAT BARG.A•INS 1N BOOTS; ANT SHOES
iso fnvdte your inspection and very aordflly solieit.your patronage.; • t
.iA16AES TIVIItCRIAL, �'ietoria, Block, Clinton, Ontario.'
WATTS &:CO.
CHEMISTS AND DRUGGISTS,
.1tOJ1'T It t ,9iG I'ELEGRAPH'Ot'I'1C.1r,
ALBERT .,S.TREET: CLINTON, ONT.,
DEALERS IN -.--
Pure Drugs, Dye Stuffs; • Perfumery, Genuine Patent Medicines,
Horse and Cattle Medicines, and all Articles Centrally sold by Druggists. -,.
PR3.ESOMPTIONSA 'D 1°AMILY•IIECIPES CAREEU.LLY
Agents for Harris' Glove Cleaner.
FOR SALE.
-:_-,
The undersigned has otl• eland a rillalitif;
of
iffi• ere', Pe/Wald/11 "(VP, : tll,,,l•P lines. .All we ask is for the pub"
l 45RC)'r(rfea9r. � �
lie to ea'1 mid inspect our stock ,and be
convinced that we are Selling cheaper.
tl•'ll (:veru etor(* known, Wo have al-
waye made Light Iiertli'sr, ;t specialty,
fund warrant ell Collars, ,
:�".� WTO tC DENNIS,
4
First I SES .
F t l SN NG
as
Cs
18' lleph.3l lt, ane 1':•r) 1 whish. he wilt sell very reasonable for
cash.
plan told him he could quit if he di(1'nt I snc onetime
with l ' t n 11 iei h that
ct c un r, t. •, nm to briefs tt
like I t. As he has already paid -over said : " Keine Ri ranee to me leek C re„ 7 1)v,sir, at,
I wo hundred dollars, he stayed. in. It• Nrt3 Yar1(„enelosbl,? sl, and ,ran vt;tl Ter, iia• t,; r.••
y � tnl•)) retried["Ylsat will t•tmbic ynu to I:r:m 111u',nly.
viems to elk tl ftp"1r tins new idea would bath eh, a lulus( Cl, ti it t 11 1
! • I t"cut 1`erl, Mei cdrade4eefoe, 1,04, 1,m14,
1 - •, 1I 4 , ! 1 tet „ 4 \5 33 4(311113-
'.niu110ni/1" the iobk art of Spat•ki11 r l lent S•eu will uet'er 1ee;ret dna)i c, l:,�itn1 of
AV".. - .,. GRAI.LAM,
Contractor 331111 Builder.
CLINTON
PurnFitry
(�lllE tlrt(lersiknxa 16g3 to ati000lue to the ;an)ao,
J- tarots nt c;linton and surrounding Townohipw 11.1,1
helms RE•Fi'517131) the'abov0 estabiisiwlont, Mad
how prepared to nladnfaettire ail 1(inds of
Well and Cistern P na os,
CliiT11458 ai1(1. 'PANES, on • 11n 31)4)10413 p s-ihi
notice. llarinh,0» ht1n1 a tcr;t ht133)- stork 1., 1 3.1
eoll1daltt of giving good t,1Lti$facttnn iu i•• u;. ,•.,...
(IIIA 1(edES.111)l)1:11Al'h. 4)1o1e11 he mall prvrs1.th
attended t0, 41n)' Your p.it) image sci.tcitCll.
JOHN ROSS.