Huron Record, 1881-09-09, Page 7MO 00 1011I0It0 .
A St. Louis •ediitor found a. pickle on
the street_ and wrote a half.column .edi-
torial on "Our increase of Wealth." •
• • A recipe for lemon pie vaguely -
adds : "Tien sit on a stove and stir
constantly," Just as it anything could
sit on a stove without ,stirring: const-
antly.
YLQrse, who invented the telegraph,
and Bell, the inventor of the telephone
loth had deaf mute wives Little
comment is necessary, but just race what
a marl can accomplish when everything
is quiet.
"Breakfast" f.s pronounced thirteen
different .ways -and when a boarder is
given hash for breakfast six inoruings.
in succession, he pronounces it an"in,fernal imposition," which adds'.one
more to the thirteen.. -
Whieli•Qiael-"You are now one,"
-said the minister to the happy pair he
had just joined together in a knot • that
.they could never undo, ''Which on4"
asked the bride. "You will have to,
settle that between yourselves," said
the clergyman. w
When a Kansas editor takes Lis ail-
davy-that he sawit grasshopper light
down on the back of a robin and lift
him two feet high in an ,effort. to carry
him off, it is simply one solitary in-
stance of the wonderful richness of the
Foil of that State. Next .year they are
,going to tame the grasshopper and use
him to hunt cats.
It's a mighty mean man, who, when
you haven't sewn him for a few years
and .meet him away frotn homey and you
appear glad to sere Win, and' .remind
him of the old times you've had to-
gether, will say : "Yes, jolly good times
weren't they! Do you reuielnber that
$5 I loaned you and never saw Again f"
The Buffalo 'Commercial Advertiser,
mentions what may be.aafely set Own
as the worst case of spelling of recent
record. It occurred in. a "not' is" of - a
"sellybrashun" to be held on thin shores
.of -"Lake Eary," and inentious the• dc-
casian as a "gable." ' , This word
• troubled the editor a. good- deal, but
with rare perspicacity he at length.••re
eelved it into "jubilee."
Commissioner Ruam - 'had decided
that "Rock and Rye" is not a medicine,-
but a beverage, and taxable at • such.. •
That settles it. , if Rock and E3i0 • isc.
not a medicine editors will ..rte ..longer
driuk_it... _If a ni..y-;of...themhave,fer ted;
an appetite for the stuff, which • they,
Bind difficult to overcome, they, .should
'cry cod liver oil, which is a . medicine.,
but not a beverage. -
In order to cure •'her• • Husband of
drinking, a colored woman of ' South
Carolina put concentrated lye initis
whiskey bottle. • The- last words he'
attered'were to the effect that it would;
be a relief to linin to drop into Hades
to cool off, and the last words the
widow spoke
to the antside .world.
ats ;
she dodged into jail • were, "l nevab
seed sich •weak stomachs as de niggalis
are gittin nowadays; 'dey can't 'staph
puffin," • - . .
People should avoid, as far as pos.
sible, being run over ,by. railroad'. Cars..:
-Ex. This is timely: advice. Whoa
a man is run . over .by a 1o;•omotive
weighing forty tons, it doesn't' do hili -
a particle of good, and pretty:often the
locomotive is thrown of the.. track and.
damaged to the extent of $5,000. 'It
may be fun for the man, but if he will
reflect a the he will see that, it is
• money out .f :the. railroad company's.
. pocket.
The good accomplished with steel
pone is incalculable, but the cost of a
box of Esterbrook's is only nominal,
The 'stationers have them; The trade
supplied by Brown Bros.,, Toronto.
Many ' of the , worst attacks of chol-
era morbus, cramps, dysentery and
choir come suddenly in the night, and
the most speedy • and prompt means
must be used to combat their dire ef-
fects, 1)r, Prowler's Extract of Wild
Strawberry is the remedy: Keep it at
hand for emergencies, It new/ails
to cure or relieve,
THE HURON RECORD
1a PUsLIsilRp -
Every Friday .Morning,
At the office, Victoria Block, (near the Post Office)
CLINTON,. ONTARIO,.
E. FLOODY, PROP,
• TEKI4S,.-:Tna RECORD will be went to subscribers
(postage free) 'for 4.25 it paid in advance ; 61.50 if
paid In 6months ; 82.00 if paid at the end of the year,
No paper discontinued till x11 arrears are paid.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.-4at2-insertion, per
line, 8c.1 each subsequent insertion, 2c. Professional
Cads, not exceeding six lines, 94.00 per annum.
Vir Advertisements without specific dtrectton, will.
be inserted until forbid, and charged accordingly,.
tar Our rates for yearly contracts will 'be made
known on implication at the office.
JOB PRINTING,- Book and Job Printing of every
description executed with neatness and despatch, on
the shortest possible notice, Orders by mail prompt••
ip attended to. Chargee moderate.
He Wanted to Expireass-,
A stranger passing by. the Rare'
street entrance to the United States;
Express office, the other day, saw the
good-natured Munson sitting, in . his
sentry -box, smoking 'his after-dinner
,cigar, and he rushed up to him and
,said, "be you an expresser. r'
Munson expressed himself to, the ef-
fect that he was there for that express
purpose.
"Well," said thestranger, "I want to
express-"
"Certainly," said Munson, "you've
struck the -right place, U. S. -united
we stand -right over the door."
. "I Kay, I've called to express-"
"That's right," said Munson; "what
httire you got to express', • Where , is it
going I
"What I mean to express-" '
"Well, if you mean to express, why
don't you go ahead and do it? The
entire express service of the United
States Company is waiting '.on you,"
said Munson. • -
"But you will allow ane to express"
"Certainly," said Munson, "express
all you want to, from a pin to Cleo-
patra's needle, and from a J':une bug
to an elephant:"
"Well, then," said the stranger, pre-
paring to take a walk,_' Z.wtttat to ON -
press my satisfaction Over the agreeable
change in the weather," and"hedodged
out just in time to escape .acall book
that Munson flung at his head.
CLIIJRCII DIRECTORY.
Canada. Methodist, -Services at 10.30 a. m. and
6.30 p. m, Sabbath School at '2.30 p, m. Rev.' WM.
Monosson, Pastor. '
Canada Presbyterian.- Services at it a.ni. and 6.20
p. m, Sabbath School, 2.30 p. m. Rev. AWL Sraiv.
ART. Pastor.
St. Paul's (Episcopal), -Services at 11 a. m. and 7
p. In. Sabbath School and Bible Class, 3 p. m. ltsY.
W Came, Rector
Bible Christian,-Serlicesat 10.30 a. tn. and 6.30
p. m. Sabbath School, 2.30 p. m. Ray. 1t. Tuoue,
P istbr,
BaptistChureh,-Service•at10,30 A.M. and 6.30 p.m.
Sabbath School, 2.30 p: ut. Ras. J. GRAY, Pastor;
TRAVELLING GUICiES
Grand Trunk.
EAST. '
Patio, Exps. " Mixed. • Mixed,
Ooderieh..Lt 7.00am„1SOipin..3.15pm..9.00am
Holum:6011e . 7.20 " ,.1230 "•..3.50 " .9.40 •"
Clinton,. 7.30 " .:1245 " .4.15 " . 10.00 "
Seafortlr 7.50 " ., 1.10 '" --4.45. " 10.50 "
Dublin, ., 8.03 "'. 1.30 " 510 "1125'0
Mitchel .. 8.15 " .. 1.45 ": 5.sb 4''11,55"
Sebringvillo. 8.35 "±., 2.05 " 810 " 12.35pm
Stratirnd.:Ar8.45 ":.: 2,15 " .6 30.''" " 1:00 '
WEST. •
Pau. 'Exp's. : Mixed.:Mixed-.
Stratford, .Lv120prn, 75upm. 700alu.3.45pm
Sebringville.. 1:30 " .8.05 " 7.30 - '.4.10 "
Mitchell 1.45 " 825 ..8.15 " ..4.45 .0
Dublin :. 2.00 0 ..8.40 ' ..8.45 " . 5.10 "
Seaforth ...4 2.17''" ..8.55 •" 915 " ..5.40 •'
Clinton 2.40'"'
'..9.15 " 10.00. '•..6.15 "
Holme,ville. 2.50 ". 9 25 '. 10.110 " .6.35 "
ooderich.,Ar3.15"',, 9 G0 " .11.00 " .,,..15 " •
Great Western
NORTII. '
Express ' Mall. Express
_London 40'a
7 m. 2.20 p m....8.25 p m
Hyde Park.- 750 " . 2.30 " ..;.6.35 "
lidcrton.-,. 8 05 ! 2.49 -
Breen. 8.15 ' 3.00
Clandehoye-.. 8,20 " 311
Centralia . 8.40 0 3:25
Exeter 822" 3.38
Heiman 905 3,52
Ktppen
Mal " .3 57
Brucefleld_. 9.21 " 4.07
Clinton.. ... 9.39 •' .4.23
Lond.wborough' 9.58 ' ...4 41
Blyth.. 10.Ot1" ....4.50
Belkravc . :10.24
Wingham.. 10.45 '" ... .5.25
....7.03 ."
714 "
.. ._ .28• .,i
4, -740 ,.,
" „7.59 .4. •
.303 '•
,
...8.52 "
'• ..909
.. ....9.25 u,
• SOUTILL
Express. Mail Express
Winghanr • .. 700 a in -.355 p m....620 •p m
Belgrave. .. 710 ' ....313 a."....038' "
Birth,. • .. 7 35 ' . -.328 ' ....6 65
Londesborough 7 44 " ....3 36 " .. ,7 04 • "'
Clinton 8 02 " .,3 54 ' .7 24
Brueefield.. ;820' " . 4.07 " , 7 43 "
Ktppen 830 " :415
Heneall 8 '" .. 4 20
Exeter 8 52 " ....-4 32
Centralia , ` • 9 92 " ..4 42
Ciandeboye 916 " _ 4 54 ::9 02 " •
Brecon. .. 927" ...,5 04 " ..-.•918- ;" •
Ilderton' 9 38 " ..,5 13 "' ....9 35 •'" •
Ettrick .. 9 47 " '
Ilyde Park .. ;9 50 ,"' .:..5 26 . " .. 10 00 "
London ..1005 !•. ..5 35. " .. 1010
.:806."."
' :.925 "
VALUABLE
Village Lots for - Sale,
IN BLYTH.
1. Part of Lot No. 3,Bock "" Queen Street Mc-
Connell's survey. The lot is In the centre of the
business part of the Tewu, and has frontage enough
for three stores '
t, Fart Nos. Two. and Three, Queen. Street, Drum.
mopd's survey -vera' ednvenicntly situated.
8. tote Nee 11 and 12, Block "C," McColnell's sur-
vey -very suitable; on . which to erect private rest-
dencee.
BLYTH • SAW MILL
TERMS EASY.
For further particulars, apply to
RECORD. OFFICE, Clinton C. FLOODY, lflyth.
$l,000 FORFEIT,
Immix Cancer Cure Depot,
Coaticook , P. Q., Coned*, ■ .
HUH CURE.
without the use 0)` the Knife.
The only Permanent.Cure In the World.
For partieulare enclose two 3 cent stamps to 8, C.
SMrru, Coaticook,1', Q., Canada. ,
• gig' Highest references..
CURES SWIFT AND CERTAIN.
Any paper can publish the above for iib a year, with
this note and paper regularly.
o� Freperiles
FOR SALE.
GOOD BARGAINS.
That flrst•claes Farm on the Huron Road, near
1. Harpurhey, Lot 33, in the first concession ut
McKtitop, 101 acres, (80 cleared) adjoining the pro-
perty of L. Meyer'
Log and Frappe House, large
Frame Barn, good Orchard. .to. Apply to Mr, WM.
WHITELY, Huron Road, Tuckeremith-or to the
undersigned_ •
2Lot 29, in the Twelfth Concession of Goderich
: Township, near Hohnesville-80 acres, about 40
cleared, balance well timbered. Frans. house and
stable. • Well suited for a dairy or grazing farm. Only
6200 required dowp; or would' be exchanged for Town
property, Apply to Mr. E. MOUN'TC,1STLE, Blyth,'
or to the undcrs€,med -
0 Tho valuable Hotel property on Victoria Street,
e) ' Ciinta., known as Lane's Hotel, now occupied
by Mr. George Knot, comprising a large hotel build.
hag, driving shed, four choice Town lots, &c.
4That elegant two-story frame dwoning house on
,' Huron Street, Clinton formerly held by J. C.
Miller, now occupied by Mr. John''. Martin
7- The comfortable frame cottage on North Street,
e), which belonged to the late John Pugh, now oc-
cupied by Mr. John Bailey -with two hrge lots, good
garden, &o. -near the'Flax.Mill.
1)'The good 2 fame cottage and large lot No. A63,
. oti' Erie. Street, Clinton: The lot is ncar•the
J,unetion of the two railways, and inay hereafter be
valuable as a factory site, '
----tar Also- idiom lots;annd'' building&•forsaie;- Apply
• • • . H. HALE, •
Clinton, April 11.; 1881. Huron 4.,,Clinton
GOSMAN.Si DODDS
Are now prepared-to:do 611, kinds of work in their
lite.. Having put, in a grain' cruller, we• are able
to do chopping at any time and on the shortest notice
. GOSMAN .k i)ODDS.
• Birth Dec. 17'1880. ' 42.42•.
Ears for the Million 1•-
Foo Choo's Balsam. of'Shark's
. •-Oil,
Positively Restores the Hearing, and tilt
• the Only Absolute Olive for' Deafitese
this Oil is extracted from a peculiar species of entail'
WIIITE Slunk, caught in the Yellow Sea, known as
Carcharodon lfondetethi. Every Chinese fisherman'
knows it, Ito- virtues as a restorative of hearing wet*
discovered by a Buddhist Priest about the year 1410..
Its elites were so numerous and MANY sen sEEsINOLC
Mnitcvrora, that the remedy was officially proclaimed
over the entire Empire Its use became so universal
that for overt 309- TEARS '50 DEAFNEa9 nAa EXIa7ED
. AMONG THE 0,11558E L$o Lr. Sent, tharye6 prepaid, to
any address, at 81 per bottle.
Only ,Reported by
so4>SAnr�rsvon:xHAYLOCK & co.',r
, 1 7116iSt:,
US virtues aro unrytteetionabtc and its curative char -
actor absolute, go
har-•acterabsolute,go Ilia wrilei• can personally testify,
both frons eaperionco and observation,
JOh Smltl -
MERCHANT TAILOR'
eeral.G uttte 0 r,
(Caison's'Block).
OLTNTON. ONT.
Among' the many renders of the" Review In one part
_atnd'ah*iher ofthe: country, it, Is {srobtihlo that num-.
bets arc 'Octet' with deafness, Held to such it may be
said : "Write at once to Iht, lock A Co., 7 Dey Street,
New York, enclosing 31, and you will receive by re.
• turn a remedy that will enable You to hent like any.
body else, and whoa curative effects willbe puma.
hent. nu will taw ' regret doing so.'"puma.-•-hditorof
Nem )'ark Mercantile tetllew, Sept, tS 1Ss0.j
Clintolliarble Works,
HURON STREET, CLINTON.
W. H. COOPER, Jr,.
Manufacturer of and dealer in all kind's 4f •
°Marble, & Granite %r .Cemetery
Work, at figures that defy competition.
Also manufacturer of the -Celebrated
An leroiAL'BONE, for Building pur-
poses alai Cemetery Wolk, Which' must
be &'en to be appreciated:-All,'wprk.
warranted to give sattisfnction.'
Harness, Light, .
-AND.-
Hart] ess, `Heavy,
Can always be hadat the . LOWEST
-,--.RATES, at '
NEWTON &• DENNIS'.
also a Large Stock of
y CifflagOS
whii;h will be sold CHEAP:
CLINTON
riage----W oi'Is.
H,. CANTELON,
•
3MANUFATURER
PROPRIETOR, -
o9'
BUGGIES, CUTTERS, 'WAGONS, SLEIGHS, jC.
T,TTI1f;l}ER AND SHINGhES taken in exchange., Give, me a call and 1 will give
you pore&that cannot be beaten in the County. Wig,; Repairing and Iiorseshoeing done
with despatch,
H. CANTELON:
FOSTER
•
PHOTOGRAPHER, -
Beaver Block, 'Clinton.
CO' FINEST F E l ISi ••.._ I LATEST STYLES.
. N hl C
FURNITURE!! FURNITURE!!
Clinton. Furniture Ware -Rooms, No. 77. Brick Block:
'Owing to theincreaee of business during the past year,
BRO DF`*OOT' & :BOX
Have taken out a pew lease of No. 77, and will continue• to do business as formerly.
We have on hand at the present time as fine a stock of Furniture as was ever on exhibition in. this Town,
which we willsell at a very SMALL. ADVANCE. ON COST. As we manufacture 411 our own' Goods, Wt are ;we
pared to give our Custpm:re j1ETTER GOODS for LESS MONEY than can be obtained elsewhere.
ALL GOODS WARRANTED.
P.--RO'BB, Manager - • A. BENNETT, Salesnian
•• -,:tT Don't mise the place -Vo. 77 BrlokBlock.
We •are giving Special Bargains in_
Trunks and Valises. Our stock is very
much enlarged this Spring,in all the
above lines, . All 'IRO atik is for the pub-
lic to call :and inspect our stook and be
convinced -that we are selling- :cheaper -
than ever before known. We have al-
ways made Light Harness a specialty,
and warrant all Collars,
NEWTON dz DENNIS.
TEAS i TEAS:., TEAS
S !
GREAT REDUCTIONS IN TEAS.:
ever �Such � Good Value ' as
Nat the - Present Present •
New season, full flavor, Young Hyson; 50 cents,
New: 'season, Spri,ng.Leaf Jappan, (Mayicking) 60 cents.
New Season, Black Teat (Gengou) 50 cents.•
New• season, Engash Breakfast, 6Q cents. '
Ne)v season Souching, Congou, Grange'Pekoe, Fongtai, .A,ssaiu,. Fomossa.
New stock just Received, and put up Fri 5 Ib..Caddies, at. City Prices.. Liberal dip-
-
count to dealers: • .
S. PALLISER & 00., 99 BRICK BLOCK, CLINTON.
•
S. Palliser; T. White. •
•
To ' the Electors of the' County .of. Huron.
•
0
TWITOHELL''S HARNESS SS DEPOT
' is the beet and cheapest place in the county to. buy your •
LIGIH T --.AND HEAVY,'HARN'ES'S
Whips, Trunks, Valises, &c.
GREAT BARGAINS IN BOOTS -AND • SHOES
• We invite your inspection and tory cordally Solicit your patronage. , -
JAMES 'TWITC'UELL, Victoria: Block; Clinton, Ontario
WATTS & CA
CHEMISTS. AND DRUGGISTS,
.11ONTREAL. TELEGRJJPB OFFICE,
ALBERT -S1TREET,• O•LI.NTON, ONT.,
DEALERS IN- _ .
Pure Drugs, Dye Stuffs, Perfumery, Genuine . Patent Medicines, - •
Horse and Cattle Medicines, and all 'Articles -Generally sold by Druggists:
PRESCRIPTIONS AND FAMILY RECIPE4 CAREFULLY PREPA:EiED: '
Agents for "Harris' Clove • Cleaner.
U'OR SALE.
T.he undersigned -has on hand . a ' quantity.
of
First .ir 1 : LE
P G ass. SHIN G S
wiiich he will `Sell 'very reasonable for
W" C RAB_ A ,
Contractor and 'Builder.
CLINTON
PurnpFaotory.
TlZE'undersigneii begs to annotinee to the-iaihnm
. tants of Clinton and snrroundingg Ti>wavhipa
he has BEFITTED the above establishment, wino is
now prepared to manufacture all 1(171118 of
Well and Cistern' Pumps,
CISTERNS and TAMES, Mr the shortest putsti11 --
.notice. Having on hand a very heavy stook. ware
confident of ggiving good satisfaction in every.eaat.
CIIAROES. M01)EIRATE. Onlers by mail•promptlya
attended for tar Your patronage solicited,
J'O'N ROSS'.,