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HomeMy WebLinkAboutHuron Record, 1881-09-02, Page 7WIT ANIO 411131014. •••••••••••,•• He that !ended) to the 'tramp, le the ealoenist.-Petroit Choi. A very small boy can get otitside a very lare watermelon in a very small space of time, but it takes a very large doctor to harmonize the two. Notwithstanding the malaria said to surround Washington, we have not heard of a men who shook so mueli that he couldn'tdraw his salary. On Friday of lest week, a nun in Canadian corivent, fell!. heir to an estate valued at 0.50,000. This confirm the popular ibelief 0110 Friday is a nun lucky day. "Timmy, did you bear your mother call your Course I did ," ''Then why don't you. go to ber at once?" "Well, yer see she's earvous, and, it'd shock her awful 'ti should go too suddent" Here's sometbin„,e which occurred in a, Plhiltelelphia public school. A email boy was asked to name some part of his own body. He thought for a moment, and then said; 4i13owel, which are five in number -a, e, i,eeand u, and, some- times w and X Norristown, man whose .grown np daughter bore tbe name of Sarah Jane, changed k to Umber Ella, a few months ego, in the lope that some one would carry her off; but she atilt remains on his hands. There are dome Umber. Elias safe any wherEi. The truth of the following , is not. vouched fore -An Erie young man has been turned out of the church for danc- ling. He now wishes that he had gone to a Sequin Schoolpic-nio arid hugged. and . kissed thegirls in the religious (ram° et. Copenhagen, tied thus retained his good •standing in the churek. ' • • .A. young man writes es letter ask- ing if it would be a good thing for him to send a dollar to the gentlemen who advertises to give a fifty dollar watch in exchange 'for that small amount. Send the dollar by all means. NoV that you would receive any fifty 'dollar watch, but yott would get u'Wte than a dollar's worth of experionoe. If we should ad- vise hint to save his 'dollar and he should follow our 'advice, we shoidd, ways feel aa thouerl, we missed the great-. est 'oppertuniiy f our. life, and ;lie would hate us accordingly.. 'Doting men ought do try their :chanties once. • . Dot PoY Of Mine. • made in thesthanufacture of steel pens. :a Improvements are constantly being V.A.LITABLE Esterbrooles are of superior excellence rur sale by all stationers. If SO you can testify to its marvellous powers of haling and recommend it to your friends. We refer to Dr. Fow- ler's Extract of Wild Strawberry, the grand specific for all summer com- plaints,'-- diarrInea, cholera morbus, disentery, cramps, aloha, sickness of the stomach and bowel complaints of infants or adults. Let its merits be kttown twilit who have not used it, IN SIXTH. 1. Port of Lot No. 3 Bloch." A," Queen Street, Me, Counetrs survey. This lot hi In the centre of hu business part of the TONVII, and has frontage enough for three stores 2. Part Nos. Two and Three, Queen Street, Drum. roontro survey -very conveniently situated. 3. Lots Nos, 11 and 12, Block " 0,"1ficUorinelPs our. vey-very suitable, on which to °red tnlivate rot. TERMS EASY. dome For furtherrtht partoeulare, apply to o C. FLOODY, BI)stb. RECORD OFFICE, Clinton , THE HURON RECORD si,00dFoRFEIT. Immix Calmer Cure Depot, c TO OUBLIMIND Coaficook, Q., Canada. Every Friday Morning, At the office, Victoria Block, (near the Poet (Mice) CLINTON, ONTARIO, -BY- E. PLO.ODY 'PROP. TERMS.-Tife Hamm will he sent to sub:lathers (postage free) for $1.25 if paid in mimeo ; 0.20 if paid In 6 months ; 82.00 E paid at the end of he year, No paper discontinued tilt alimrrears are paid. RATES OF ADVERTISING. -it insertion, per line, 8c.; each eubsequent insertion, 2e. Professional Canls, not exceeding six Eos, $4.04 per ettetrin. Se Advertmenients without aperitij:. dtreetions will be inserted until forbid, and charged occonlYngly. £31 Our rates for yearly contracts Will be made known onappllettliott et the office. JOB P10iNT1NG,,,- Book .end Job PrhKing of every description Tixecttted with neatness anti'despateh, on* the shortest possible notice. Orders by 'mull prompt. MCDONAOH, Pastor.. 4410 p. tn. Sabbath Schoolat 2.39 p. m, Rev. Wsli IT Vane& liidthalist.-Services at 10;30 a, m. anti 11Wll. Pr illiCrilI. IT attended 'to. Charges moderate. •-•-='.--,..,-- i s ClItItC111 DIBECTOItY. 'Canada Presbyterian.- Services itt 11 a.m. and 5.30 . • t.. in. Sabbath Schoel, 2.50 p. nt. IOW. MAX: SktSW. . FOR SAL,E. :DI C. B. - E witbob toe use of he Knife. The only Permanent Cure in the World. For particulars 'enclose two 3 cent stamps to S. C. SW" Coaticookt, e., Canada, Highest *references. CURES SWIFT AND CiEDFAIN. Any paper can publish the above for 35 a year, with this note and Itaper regularly. R • • • One of -the -teachers Of a public school . 4ibtually received theother elay an eX .cuse unique itits 'way,anal written 111 behalf of a delinquent pupil by his'faih- •er. N teaclr. coeld•hoid such an ex. ruse not valid, even under The require, meet of the pew code of. the Board.of Edecation. It runs in this wise '511:r. Pastor. St. Paul's (Episcopal).-Serviecs at 11 a. tn. aksal 7 p. tn. Sabbath School and Bible Claes, 3 p. 111, Itev, W .Camo, Rector Bible Christian.--ServiceS at 10,30 a. m. and 6.30 p; In, Sabbath School, 2:30 p, iti. Bev. It. Trunfas, Neter. Baptist Church.--AYrvice at 10.30 non. and 6.30 p.m, ,Sebbatli Schoo:soi. nt. Ilev.J, °RAY, Pfistot'. Mr. Teacher : Dot poy of 'thine vas absentele cider day vim he slitaid out: He got von big- 'colt mit lie his::in bis m m neck, vat enade hiuch, trouble all 'de vile. these doWt give him some, bunielfinent veil he vas late mit the morning. He vould got :the Shust in- tirne d•itsry day, but he ish no' himself to blame, he has got no.. Meader.' She vas &ea ten years ago. 1 am dis poy's paret3t by ,hiamedder before she, vas GOOD iiAFiGAINS. 1 That lirstelass Tarte on the Huron Itbad, near Ilarpurbey, Lot 33, -in the first tiontession of 101 acres, (SO cleated) adjoining the pro- perty of b. Sliver, Esq, tog and Frame House, large Trail e Barn, good Orcharil, Apply to 111r, WM. wamee, Huron Road. Tuckeradth-or to the TRAVELLING GUIDE. u""r8iY"ed cleared, balance well timbered. Franke house and /1 Millt " stable. Well suited for a dairy orginzing farm. Only • $900 required down; or weal ho exchanged for Town property. •Apply to Mr, N. MOUNTOASTLE, Inyth; or to titheelab °vTitetrsi.fen°L 9Tel propcniVon 'Victoria Street, e), Clinton, known as.Lane's Hotel, hew occupied • Grand Trunk • , 41 • Lot 20, in the Twelfth Conedmiloit of GoOdrich Township, near Hplmosville43 acres, about 40 .4- "..! 7,74•Wit,-,-; • 1- NT 'N. • arriage Works. H. DANTEAN, MANUPATITHER PROPRIETOR, 01' BUGGIES, CUTTERS, WAGONS, SLEIGHS, ILBEI•AND SHINGLES taken ill exchange, Cive'itte a call and 1 will give you Flees that cannot be batten in the County. U.,,Ecpairieg and liorseshocing done • with despatch, by :Mr. George Eno; compriellig 5large hotel build- ' Mg, driving shed, four (thole° '1,,Avn'Iots, tte, _ A That; elegant two-story Rhine dwelling-houSt, an • "k„.• Huron 'Street; Clintotn. formerly hold,by J. C. Miller,. now occupied by lir. Min P. Martin. Tho comfortable Cantu eatItAT on North Street,, which belonged to the late John Pugh, now 00. eppiud by,i41., John Balley-tvith two largo lets, good gorden, .-hear the Flax 4E11: • • Thoprii. stmo cottage and ' forgo' lot No. 063,•. O. 011 Erie Street, Clinton. nee lot is near the Junction'of the two railways, and may hereafter be• valuable as a factory site; • • ' , • Ad/ Also other lots and buildihgs dorsale..,...Anply. to • ,,,,. EAST. • • Pass. • Exp ' Gekierich . TA* 7.00 a in -12.05 pin. .3,15p in • ,11,00 a m . 7,20 • " -12,30 " :3.00 " ..9:40 " Clinton • , 7.30, , .12.42 " -4.Hi ", 10.00 • l'iraferth 7,50 " 1.10 " -4,4ti " 10.20 g' Dublin ' 3.03 " „ 1.30 " _MO " 71.25 " 5litchell 8.15 " 1.45 it" 11.99 `" Sehrinelhe.. 6.35 t.05 " " 12.05 pur *.ratiord Ai 8.45 " " " . • LOC( " WEST, '• • Pasa. • Exp's, • MIxoti: H. HALE, • • ....tr'tfc'''"•• • v L" P m - 7.511 1),'" "71,P0, a',i,a • 'Tr° l'•,P''' Clinton, April 11,. 1821, iluron St., Clinton Aibringvillm. 1.30 " -8. 5 ' °r gi "ii.. If -4'4,- 41 Mitchell .... 145 " ...8.20 . 8. 0 „ . 0 Dublin .... 100 " -8.40 " „8.45 " . 5.10 " ' . Clinton . ... 2,40 a -9,15 " 10.00 " -0,15 ,4 John mit seacrth. ,.... 42.,1 1 ..s.„ „ -0.15 a -5,4) " . -6,05 " Goderich....3.15 " „D.50 " 11,00 " ..7.15. " '' • . . , • . --' . . MERCHANT TAILOR A'rt Oil City lady remarked'to a ?neighboring milk-nien "'The weather, has been moist or some time hack, hasn't id" • • e, Yes, decidedly so," repliedthe milk- man, " and the flies bother' my cows. eerfully, " Why. dou't • you •Sitinik • theta 1" asked the lady. • • "That, wouldn't ,do any good re- sponded he, " it would only make the' ;matter worse to shingle of their hate.'' "1 didn't say anything about 'shing- ling off their hair." •' .• -" Dithet you . advise me, to shingle them . • •• " Ycs, certaiely." • ' .• • '3 .W114 did you mean l" • • ., " Why exectly whit I -Said, Shingle them -put on shingles, or a thiruef.". " What good -would that do ' " Iteuight possibly keep the water - out of 'the milk." . • • • A Iligh ,Testimsoniril, Aradatne Arigele, Pritaa 'Dortna of the French and Italian, Opera, Says : M.,ENDELSSOHN PIANO CO., lIEW YORK : GICSTLEMBN-FrOtil the experience 1 have had in playing upon your 'Upright Pianos, I 'cannot help expresFing my admiration of their tone: and action. One respect in which they particularly., excel in their singing quality of tone. Wishing you gaoll succeek in the manu- facture of these fine ifistrements, 1 itin, Yoursetrulyr-' •ANny.t.t. The 'Maple Leaf base ball elub, of Cobourg defeated the Oakes, of Belle. ville, at the latter place, on Saturday, by a'Score of2 to 1. • , Great Western • , /totem. • .Eeprqsa; Mail. Express London.... .. 7.40 a p m., .. 6.25 4 111 Hyde Parks.. 7.50 " 2.00 " '....6.35 ," Ettrick : . " Ildorton 8.05 ,• "" ....6 tis ' • nruisgii .. 8.15 " " -7.03 "" • Clandebc,ye. 8.20 " ....S.11 " ....7.14 Centralia 840 " .. • :8.25 " ....7.28 • " Exeter,. : 8.52 ....3.38 " 14 lichee!! .. 0.00 ' -0.52 Brucefield... 9.21 " ,11:4,0`f a -8.08 • ICippen D.11 " , 57 " • ' " CLINTON ONT. Londesborou.gh 9.58 " ....4 41 • .3.45 " Blyth.. -10,06 .4.40 Belgtv.ve • -10.24 " „ " • „ -9.09 " Wnighant.. -10:45 " ..5125 a ....9.25 " • SOUTH. Express, Mail. Express • • mgham . - 00 a in. p m .020 p•itt Bolgrave. , 7 18 " 3 13 " .:..0118 " Myth- .. 7 35 " ....3 " 55 " Londesborough 7'44 " ....3 36 " ....7 04 " Clinton • 8 02 " ....3 04 " ,7 24 " Bruccfield.. 820 " :4 07 " , .7 40 " .1fanufaetnrer of aild dealer in all kinds of Henson.. . 8 30 4 20 ' " • .. .8 06. Marble & Granite for Cemetery. Iiippen .. SO " ...• 4 15 " • .. :;7 59 " Exeter .. 8 52 " . .4.32 " ...8 25 " • Centralia.. , • o09.'.,449 " :..849 ' . Clandeboye 016 " 4 54 '1 , .0 02 " Brecon .. 9 " . 504 " 18 " lldcrton . Ii8 " ....513 " ....9 35 Ettrick , 047 " . Hyde Park .. 9 50 " .526 . " .. 10 00 11 London ..10 02 ' 35. " .. 10 10 " • A.ND Geneial Outfitteil, (Catson's Block) • Olilitt Tdfork s, • lillitOrrSTREET) CLI1goNi W.11 COOPER, Jr LYTH SAW . ILL. `GORMAN. & DODDS Are•now prepared to do ali kinds of work 111 their line. Having, put. in a grain crusher, we are able to dot:hopping at any Runt anti on the shortest notice • , • UOSMAN DODDS. . . . Birth Dee 17 1830, • • . 424, . Work, tit figures that defy comPatition. • :Alct nutenfacturer of the CelOrated BroxE for Building per - poses' end CeMeterV. Work, it niust. be seen to be apprecinted,e-All work warranted to give sttadatutittlf, IL CAN TELON. FOSTER •a PHOTOGRAPHER, Beaver Block, - Clinton. UE FINEST -FINISH crrLATEST STYLES ! Harness, Light, -AND- arness Heavy, FURNITURE!! - FURNITURE!! • Clinton Furniture Ware -Rooms No 77 Brick Block. . • . , Owing to the increase of business during the past year, • B TR,. 0 i30 a3-0 Have taken out a new.„Icase of o 77; and Will.contibue to do •businoss as formerly. " We lia1att on hand at the present One aS line a stook of Furniture as was ever on exhibition in this Toon, which we Will sell at a very A1,1, ik MANCE ON COST. As Wit inanufeeture all our own Goods, WO RIO pre pared to give our Custonfers pe,TrEtt GOODS for LESS MONEY than cell be obtained elsewhere. ALL GOODS WARRANTED. Pi' DOB% Illanaget, . A. BENNETT, Salesmot • • • i257Poll't miss the place -No. 77 Briek Block; • -%•• • TEAS !,' TEAS- TEAS1 2 la,14,E4T DEDUCTIONS IN TEAS... Neuer,Uati Good Valueas at-tht Present:nine:1 .X033/ season, Nil flaVoi, Yeung Ibsen, 50 cenis:. ' • - New ftettsOil, Spring Leaf japan, (May picking) 60 0ent", ' • • • New.§easme Bleek Tea (Congou) 50 cents. • New seacql, Eng 1811 Beenkfast, 60 cents. New season .Souching, Ceniene Oraege Pekoe, Fongtai, Assam, Iromassa. New•.stock•just Received,- and putup in 5 lb. Caddies, at City Prieee, Liberal dis :.cbunt to dealers. S. PALLISER & 00y 99 BRICK BLOCK, CLINTON. ' m S Palliser. T. White. Ears for the Million! alwaljs be had' at the LOWEST Foo Cheo`s Balsam of Shark's. EATES, ttt Positire/a_liestore.s' the ifea2:ino, and fs NEwTopi & DENNIS' • t1-Qt./Absolute etc.re for Deafness .. 'atomic. . .... • - . • - • also' a Large Steck .of • This on is extracted littna peculiar species of small • • . .. Willi% 811Atto, Wight in , the Yellow Sea, known' O.* • • 1 : 0 - Caro/tarot/on Ilonclettlii. 'nary Chinese .flaherinan • knows it. Its virtues as a restorative of hearing were discovered by a Buddhist Priest about the year 1410. Its Mires Wereso ellefet333131 Met 31ANv 40 eitliMINCON motACOLOUS, that the robotly was officially prochtlincd over the entire Empire, its use became so univeaDy rsal that for overt 300 VNAttft No littarNeSs tiatt. NXISitto • AMONG CIIINtate LitOowt. Sent, cleuptS prepaid, to any address, et ,81 per bottle. . W.110 1 WIbe sold . 1 1 011E232 - rimy litiported by • HAYLOCK 8t, OUP. We aro giving Spreiel__Bargains 113 SOLE AOttSIN reit AMt1Ul' J 7 "°. 14"Y. Yclk' T11114'03 find IrfiliSCrii Our stock is very JI Its virtues are 1torytie5ehmab1esoii5orcaue_r1)ar..._thitelLetilargett.A1411__Spribr,;_in, above lines, , All eve tisk is for the pub - /thione the Many readers of tbe Uciicw in,bha part and another of the country, it is probable that num- convinced that eve are selling cheaper bbrs are ellicted with deafness, arid to such itinay be said t e'Writc. at 01100 to 11a7 look 2,. Co, 7 .1 Isy Street, New York, enclosing $1, fuel you will receive by re. turn a remedy that will enable von to Nil like any- body else, nett Whose eurt3tive effects will Ilk perma. nent. You Will never regret doing so.”- -Editor Of .Xcte re& .PierCentite &thew, Sept. 23 1880.1 lie to call and inspect biir stock ttnd be 4 To the Electors of :the Dounty.pf Huron.' •,. •- • . . ...•, TWITcHEL1.1 S -HARNESS nEporr.... • , . is the best and cheapest placeltlui tomes to bey our • LIGHT AND HEAVY HARNESS Whips, Trunks; Valises. ate. : • • •.4. GREAT BARGAINS IN BOUTS A.Ntt 8110.E.:1 . . • ' We invite your inspectiod. anti i'ery cordally solicit yo1, patronage. : • JAMES TWITCIllELL, Vittoria Block, Clinton, Ontario. ATP s .c • : CHEMiSTS AND DRUGGISTS- • ; 110.VTREAL TET4GRAPH OFFIC4, ALE3EgT S4TREET, OLINTON, ONT., --DEALEIts • Pure Druge,.Dge Stuffs, Perfumery, Genuine. Patent Medicines, • Horse and Cattle Medicines, and all .i?Oticlas erierally sold by Druggists. PREscruptioNs AND FAMiLt. EistIFES CAREF [JLLY PEEPA.VED. . . , 24.1,1(0nts kor GIOV Cleaner. • 1174)11..,S410. • The undersigned' las r01 liana a quantity of Virst --Olaa-SIMMLE -which he- will ti11 very ettrzonable • feil . case. than ever before knowe. We have al-, ways made Light Ilarneas tspeeiaity, E. and, warrant all Collars; • •N14WTON & DENNIS. Contractor and Builder: • • • • •b" Li rtitok Pump Faptory •THE undersigned begs to announce to the Juliet ' tents Of Clinton anti snrrounding TOWtHltips too', • hu 1111sliE'.14mrHo •the above' establisbnicot, a1.3 ,-. • . • liOW•prepared to tuanunteture all 1111100 1.0 We I I and Cistern8 Pumps, erseerixs 4$1,1 -TANUS, on the shortest 3145511,1 notice, Erni.; 00 baled nvery Ileayy' stook, V, (FAT, ' Cetk.filieCilatA Utg4111141,AVE°!I glialtit4etn.111)111Iir .letYrt.Y11').18Z.1,.; attonktki to. tar Your patteintlye,solleittd. . • • JOHN. 110SP., 4.4