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HomeMy WebLinkAboutHuron Record, 1881-08-12, Page 7wn' A HIU1HOQt.. The "Comet" is the latest brand of whisky. Terrible' -tails are •told of its rapidity of action. Prisoner, have you ever been' con- victed ?" "No, your honor ; I have always outplayed first-class lawyers," Soubrette -"How is the prettiest way to bold the land ?." Wh.y,,so the other side can't see •what cards ;you've got. The correct way is to tell a'man you will make a revised edition of him. It is nolonger regarded as polite to say you will knack hell out of him.. Young Lover asks ;'" When is the hest time to travel ?" When you see the old man and his ball dog: -coming 'round the corner, •'sir, Travel fo.r all :you are worth. ' The meanest scan on record is in New York. He invited a wathchtnan to take a drink, and slyly put in ,it a powerful stimulant that would keep •a;lle man awake all'iiight.. An .Iowa cow succeeciee !recently in killing an'elephant, a lion: and a cancel. Brave cow ! She did it by getting under the rtrain bearing those creatures; .and ditching it. Mrs. Button, a coal -miner's wife, • !near •Wiakesbarre, P,a., recently :game 'birth to triplets, and now the itin'gy :paragraphers are all .as'king what a coal •miner's wife is going Ito do witth three: Button _kids. . • . A Yankee bicyldle•tlealerlints utilized the happy thought•ef presenting a pair •of crutches and a bore of'court-plaster to each purchaser of a bicycle. He is lllionopolizing the trade. • A 13rooklin sensation was the wed-' °ding of two deaf Fates. Persons who made any illusion.'to unspeakable hap-• piness was immediately bounced out •Qf the eburch,•and it served them righk„ "I am waiting, my darling, fortihee,"• he warbled; and yet when the old izaali threw up a chamber window and as-. sured hits dist, "He'd be down minute." he lost hi4 grip on the melody •and went out on the waiting business. There is one thing I line about the version," said .old' bltindeibus : "'that 'ere text about ' the boy being Bather^ to the elan' is(life Wit' `ttltogether. • 'a tv a ays thought :'that teas • wrong end "to." And Ice :didn't cow wh ` lit y • elle :smile went. round. • . • A person overheard two countrymen, who were observing a naturiuiist in the 'field collecting insects, say..e.ne to 4us •other : "'What's that fellow` doing,. John ?" ." Why; he's: a )na. uralist " "What's that? " "\Vhy, one who catch- •es gnats, to be sure 1 " Clergyman was once forced to say to: a congregation that persistedin depos- iting buttcil'ls into the con•tri}bution_ box: " Brethren who .wish to contribute but- tons will please not hammer down tete' 'eyes, for while that process does not', •increase their value acs coccal it does im- pair their usefulness as •muttons • M tempted Suicide. .A WOMAN JUMPS FROM :/k. PERRY, BOAT PLYING BETWEEN' PORT . HURON. ' and SARNIA. . • Sarnia, .Ont., Augusst "I, -About tli"o' ,o'clock this afternoon, as- •the stealrl ferry boat Beckwith .was •crossing frog!! Port Huron t� Sarna., Add when about two hundred yards tfrom Oa Canadian side of the river,, a woman, who _was sitting in the cabin., rose up and walked to the gangway, stepped over the :guard. and jumped into the river. Captain Smith, who a,as in charge of the boat; chanced. to -be standing by the gangway - and macle:an effort to catch the woman. as she went' overboard, but failed.. A loud cry was at once raised on boar(), the ferry boat, which put about to 'res- cue her, but some men of the ,crew of. the schooner Van Ifackeilliiirg, lying at anchor just below,•• lowered 'a yaivi, si.,• and seizsd her as• she was drifting past and placed her ©13 boardthe ferry. As soon as'the Beckwith' reached the dock here. Captain ` ith notified the Chief Constable, who.. took her in charge.' she proved to he a Mrs. •Cope, now re= siding at Port I3uron, but lately'a. re- sident of Sarnia, having lived during the winter as help with 'Mrs: .Meyers, on Christinia street. She ave,s • removed to Mr. Meyer's'house for the'purpose of receiving' proper gttention, and was afterwards placed by the Chief Consta- ble in - charge of Governer Allan Mrs, Cope, appears, has been for some time an inmate of he Lu.nafic Asyluui, from which .she was only recently discharged, and ' it is stanposed that she was in. a state of 11IPntal aberration • at the time of making the rash attempt, - Don'tforget a.supply of that Dr. Fowler'h Extract of Wild Strawberry. It Is a superior remedy for seasick- ness, and a positive°Cure for all bowel complaints induced by bad wetter, change of diet, or of clittlate. Whether 11t hone or abroad, it should be kept at hand in case of 'emergency, • • Burdock Blood Bitters cures scrofula,. erysipelas, salt :rheum, piles and all humors of the blood. Cures dysPepsia, liver complaint, biliousness, constipa- tion, dropsy, kidney complaints, head- ache, nervousness, female weakness and general debility, During this month summer com- plaints commence their ravages. To he forewarned is to be forearutecl. Dr, Fowler's Extract of Wild Strawberry is the best known preventative and cure for all forms of bowel complaints and sickness • incident to the summer season, THE BURN RECORD is 'T etlsnxo Every 'Friday N11lforning, At the office, Victoria mock, (near the post office) CLINTON, ONTARIO, --By- E. FLO'ODY, PROP. TERMS. -Tim R4sceito will be sent to subsetiihers• (postage free) for 81.25 if paid in advance ; 81.50 If paid in 6 months; 82.00 if paid at the end of the year, No paper discontinued till all arrears are paid. RATES ON ADVERTISING.-1•ttt lnsoretnn, per line, 8c.; each, subsequent insertion, Se. !Professional- Cards, not exceeding six lines, 84.00 per'ennutu, X43 Advertisements without specific directions will be inserted until forbid, and charged accaraingiy, �rti• Our' sates -for Yearly codtracts 0illl be made known on•t4pplhation at tate office. 'JOB'PRINTING,-Book and 'Job Printing of every desarilltion executed with neatness and dee match, on the shortest possible notice, Ostlers by nail r,rompt- ly attended to, • Charges moderdte. CHLItCH DIRECTORY. Canada, 1ldthodist.-Servicesyet 10,80 a. m. a "ad 6,30 p m s ianbath School acts() p. tn. Bnv. W. 11tiDox,Aotyihtstor. Canada Predhyterlan.- Services •at71 a,ni, and 0.80 p. in. Sabbath School, 2.30 p, in. dist. ALEx, S•rsw- asa, Waster. At. Paul's (Episcopal).-Servicosritif11 a; in. and '7 ,}ram. Sabha:eh School ,and Bable4Olnss, 3 p. In. lira,. 'W (CSAIQ, Rector. lti:ble Ohristetn-Seryiees tit to.30 a. 10. and 6.80 ip. nl. Sabbath School, 2.3041.4n. Itsl, It.' '.LIIOMatS,. 'Pastor. Baptist Church-Service•ut 10;80.a.1n, and 6.80 pan. Sabbath School, 2.30 n, m. Rtx.•U, thux, Pastor. TRAVELLING GUIDE. Graeme 'r>fu>tk (EAST • Pass: 1xps ln,ril in, anclelioh..Lv 7,00a:nn;.12.05p .. 3.13A'nm..000 a nr: lloinictiVille.x.7l20 ...12 30 ' .,3.50 " " Clliton,. .. 7.30 .12.45 ,::.4.15 "' 10,00." Scitfot'th 7.50. et .. 1.10 ' ,.4.45' " 10.60 Dublin 303 1,30 ' ..5.10 " . 11.05 Mitchell +. 8,15 ' ..- L45 "- '..5.31 ' • 11,55 Sehsfhgvillc., 8.35 ' 2,05." .,ei 10 " 12.35p m Stratford.:AMS!15 " .. 2.15 " ..0 3t " 1.00 4' . WEST. . 'Ptratforii,.Dv4:2 onans ,Aup01r.700itm..3.45`pd: in Subringiilke .,130 - 8.05 .4.10 " Jlftehell 145'. $.r2AA " ,.s.a0 ' ' • •4.45 " 1).ublm 2,00 4' 8.40 " , .2.45 P. 0:10 Seafoath .. 2.17"" .. .5s !" ..9.151 ' 1.40 "" Clinton -.2.40 " '.9.15 " 10.110 ' 0.15. " llolinovt4ll@ 2.50 ' .9.25. " 1020 ' .16.35 " Goder4oh.Ar8.15 c:9.50. "• 11.00 '! 7:15, N.. Great Westerly Express. Zion. Fxpresr li11naon .. 7.40 a �0' p m b '5 p an 3dckark .1 .50 " 2.30 .6.35tric. 4lderton 1:05 " .2.49 " •0.5' " 0,.. 'Lerecau 8.15 " '..:3:00 ,.0:3 "" (Ciandeboye . 8.26 " . 311 " 7.14 " 'Centralia . 8.40 " 3 '5 ....7.28 " 1Exetor .. 8 52 !' S 38 7.40 ," 1klonsnll 0.05 " ..,3:52, .7 ..53 "' Kipper!Kipper!:: 911 ` 3 57. .7:59 " Brucefield 0:21 i'" ' 5,08 ' Clinton ....... 0.39 "' 4.23 " .3 ,25 '' Lbcir'sborough 9.58 " .4 41 4 .8.451 !' Blyth ..1000 4•' 4 50 . " :3.52' " Bei({race • -10.24 H4 . 4.06 " ., .9.09. " Wiugham:. ..10.45. " • " 9:25 •P Exi•vess. dfnil, • Express Wingbam ' .. 7 00 a in .2 55 p.451, ...0 20 In Belgravo. .. -.113 ".13 ei 88 p" Blyth.. t 36 'r r 3 28 '•` ...(3 55. •" Londesbo1ough 744 .330 "' .7 04 Clinton( 30' 3 54 . " 24 Brnceflolil . S 21) " . ,. 4 07 • " ....7 43 Kippen . 3 30 " ...4 15 .4' .7319 Ffena.tll .. 330' " ,..420 "' :..806 Exeter „ S 52 �' .432 " $ 25 Centralia ,.•s 08 0 . 442' " ;8.48 Clatidobo/ e . 910. . 4 54 . ' 1102 rccon :. 9 27 'r' . 5 04_ " ...ii 15 Ilderton 9 38 " 13 " • .9 35 Ettrick .. 9 47 " IIydePark .. 960. e . 396 1000 London ..1005 ' .,.;535 " .. 1'010. .4( "( • if .e • 11 It BLYTH SAW - M:IL •GOS•-MAN- & DODDS Are now prepared to do all kinds of work in their line.. 'Having put in a grain crusher, we are alrl0 to dechopping at any time and on the shortest notice OOSMAN & DODDS. • •B11th `Dee. 17, 1880,. : 424f. . 1arrs for the Million' l Foo Choo's Balsam of Shai"li's . on, • ositivedy. Restores eke Itreai'intg, (fico is. tete •Only Absolute Cute ,for Deafness This Oil is extracted Cronin piooitlinrspecies of small Warn Si.tiut, caught in the Yel10w Sea, known as Caritkas'udoe lbrndeletli. Every Chinese' flsIcunaii.. knows it. Its virtues its a restorative of bearing were discos ergo bye Buddhist Priest nhont the year 1410. Its cures were so numerous and XAlir ho sn1:nixuty 30ancunous, thane remedy was officially proclaimed •over the entire. Empire. Its use Becton° so nuiyerSal that for Oran 300 ranks so 11x.tpgs , ins aximau Aawxd 1041 out�it,r 1.is0m7.N'. Sent; clutrges prepaid, to fitly addrise, at >1 per bottle. • ' Only Imported by • HAY1LOCK ec 00, aceal Ao33)4 Vee.• 4N111110A. I 7. 1)03 5t., New York its virtues are 2wigtt(sfinr,rrble'and Its affraliai• char. neter)ELanitttc5 ars the writer *4')) personally lest;fU, ' ?milt /tom c..1,hriLrroo Cud obswreatttn,. Aiming the many readers of the Review in One part and :tuothhr of the tonntr;y, It is probable that num. hers fire efticted with deafness, and to such it may bo said 3 "Write at once t01bay loch 1. Co.' 7 UeyStreet, Now York, enrlus1ng s1, and you win luiny0 by re- turn it lcmedy that will enable ymi to bear like any. body else, Mal whose curate c effects will be 1,ern!. tient. "tun, Will Tweet regret 401115 so."., rat• New rork .ilsreantilo Ifeukw, Segi4.,.13 2853), V &LITABLE Village Lots. for Salo, N IYTH. 1 Part of Lot. No. 3, Block "A,"'Queen Street Sic - Connells survey.This lot is In ttho centre of the. busli fortheesree strtes of the Town, and has frontage enough. part 2. Part Nos Two and Three, Queen Street, Drain. mond'ssurvey-•very conveniently situated. 3. Lots Nos, 11 and •12,'Block•'" C," McConnell•s sur- vey -very sultable, en 'which to. erect private rest• deuces, TERMS !EASY,. For further particulars, aOply to or to the 0, FLOODY, 134ftb, RECORD OFFICE, Clinton. $11000 FORFEIT. 1uuuil• Censer Cure Pepot, Cwt leech, 1'. Q.,• Canada. �. HOER CURE without the use of the Knife; L The only Permanent Cure' in the World, Foriparticulars enclose two 3 cent stamps to 8, C. Sauru, Coatleook, P. Q., Canada. -1 ' Highes3. eferetrces. CURES SWIFT AND CERTAIN.. Any paper can publish the above for 85 a year, with this note and paper regularly. ' R -AND- oci Properllcs FOR SALE, •G'O0D BARGAINS. That itrst•class Faris on the, Huron. Road, near t • Harpurhey, Lot 33, in the first concession of llchtllolr, 101 acres, (80 cleated) adjoinlTg the pro•• }rorty of L. XI -Oyer, Esq.Log mid Fraunellouse, largo Freese Barn, good Orchard,'fic. Apply to Mr. WM. W1-lITELY, Huron Read. 'lluckorsmtth-or to. the undersigned. • G, Lot 20, in the Twelfth Concession of Goclertch N. 'Township, near Holsnesv llo.-.80 acres, shoot 40 • cleared, balance well thri•heretl. Frame pause and stable, Well suited for attain' or grazing farm. Only $200 req}lired doivu; or would bo exchanged for Towrt property. Apply to Mr. E..110) NTCASTLE, Blyth, or to the undersigned The valuable;Hotel property on Victoria Street, e I Clinton, known as 1 ane's Hotel; now occupied -by lir. George ICnox, comprising a large hotel 1)11110= Ing, driving shed, four choice Town lots, kc' 4at elegant tyo•Wory frame. dwelling -house on {Th,Huron Street, Clinton, formerly . held by J. C. Miller, now iceunied 1),l M9•. John P, Martin Tl10 &hai,l'tablo fralno cottage on. N orth Street, e), which belonged to (the late John Pugh, now oc- cupied by Mr, John Hailey -with two Fug() loge; .good garden, &O., -near the Flax 11111. to The good Prelim cottage and large lot No, 903, on Brie Street, Gunton, The lot is near the Junetiori of the two re liveA s, and May hereafter be 'valuable as a factory site, . . ° • • -tref Also other lots and ' itiildings• for sale • Apply H. HALE .' Clinton, April 11, 1831.' Huron St., Clinton MERCHANT A\TL • •.-General Outfitte ,r, • (Cxirson's.B.laclj ` CLINTON. TAILO ONT. Clinton :Marble Works, HURON STREET; CLINTON, W. 1/. 000P.ER, Jr. Manuf.tct9rer of and dealer in all !chide of Marble -86: Granite for Cemetery Work, at 5giir013 that -defy emppotftion. •Alco nr lnuuf lctin•er of the Cele,bl:'tted' ARTn_FIctAL SIOND for 13uil(lilig pur- posesAnil Cemeteiry Work, which hurt 'he seen to be 0.1111reciated:-A11. work warrantad to give OStisfaction.. Harness, Light, A�1D - yariwss Heavy, Can always be had at the LOWEST 1T,ATES, • at NEWTON & DENNIS'. also a Large Stock of ily Cr!aL .1. C11.111ffC which will be sold CIEAP. We are giving Special Bargains in Trunks and• Valises. Our stock is very much enlarged this Spring, in all the above lines, All we ask is fir the pub- lic to call and inspect our; stock and be convitice(:l that we are selling cheaper than ever 'before known. We have al- ways made Light Harness a specialty, and warrant all Collard, NEWTON & DENNIS, arriage Works. H. CANTELON, MANUFATURH2i • PROPRIETOR, 9k' BU' aGIES, CUTTERS, •WAGONS', S EI0HS, &C►. '.TTIIIBEIL AND SITINGLES taken in exchange. Give lee a call and I !vier give you pl-it ;s that cannot be beaten.ia the County, ' . Repairing and R orseshocing done with despatch. H. tANTELQN', FOSTER PHOTOGRAPHER Beaver Block • - � Clinton. FINEST FINIS l Ct .L ErTEST 'OTYLEs ,! .FURNJTURE ! ! -.• FURN�ITU -E.! ClintonFurniture Ware -Rooms, Nos .77 'Brack Block, Owing to tho:lnerease of btlsin8s durlhg the past year, Have taken but a view lease o3 No; i i, and will 0 9511190 to do business n14 formerly. • We have an hand cat the present tiehe asflne a sto014 of rnrnitrir1 as was ever on exhibition in this-•TO$11r • tvhtch we win son ata very. SMALL ADVANCE ON COST. : As We mnuufutauro all our own Goods, 10 aro pro pared to give our Customers BETTER GOODS for LESS 110NE1 than can .be 01)04493(1•elsewhere. • ALL GOADS WARRANTED. . ]P: IRoRB Manager • A. IRENNETT, Salesman •1i't7' Don't visa the place -No.' 77 Brick Block. 13 :AXES! Cakes A.ICS I The undersigned begs•to.infenni .t1ie inhabitants of Clinton 1)11(1 suriounding:eoiintrs that he has canned the services of .one of the best bakers in the, Donliniam, and "Will , keel! eonsfdlnt1y, 0)3 110.11(1 the largest andbest assortment of cakes in . town. !lime every- ' thing usually kept in:a Rist-elses' city: bakery, and Hopes by strict attention. to ')!emirs: to Merit -a lite• share of patronage, . ' . OUR WHITE AND BROWN BREAD Is of a';uperier. clualitty, Give ft a trial and he convinced, Delivered''claflY - to all parts .of the tows!.. Buns, B?lscnits; Cctildies &c., always on licence. 'Wedding Cakes a •spt.eiw: •alty=iced and ornamented in the latest style and design. Give ine a call M YOTTIT lioto , Apri1'2s; 1881. S S 'GREAT It;EDUCTIONS IN TEAS. Neuer • Such Good :Value as at the . Prrsen't Time. 1 seasori, f111lilavol, Yeasg Hymn, 50 cents'.. Nett' Settson,,Spring Leaf Japan, ()Nifty picking). 60 cents, , .New Season, Black Tea (Gontlou) 50 cents! • New season, Fnglieli'Breakfast, 60 cent& view season Soughing,: COn''oil.Orange.Pekoe, ronftai, f1Sstiln, l•'uiilossa:•' New stock just Received, and put up int Ib. Caddies, at City prices. ' Liberal dis count to dealers;. S. PALLISER & C0:, 99 BRICK BLOCKCLINTON, • a, S. Palliser T, White. To the, Elector( of the County of .Huron. ITOTIELL'S:: T-TA.R,N]SS . DEPOT is the best and cheapest'placo in the county to buy yotiii - . LIGHT AND' HE''AVY`:HAR;NE•SS 1'lltipsa 'trunks, Valises, .Cct. • • GREAT BARGAINS` IN' BQOT8 AND SEEOES. . ' K'e:invite your inspection. arid very eordally. bellclt your paeiotwtgoi • • • , 'Victoria BlockClinton,JAAIhS �D'YTCisIELL , Ontario. WATTS ST, CO,, • C .Tri . MISTS AND DRUGGISTS, ' ,'NONT.i'l.l .h'Lr T'ELEGI,,i✓!P!E orPJGE, AL..•.SERT•''STREET CLINTON, ONT., ••' '03EALEItS IN - Pure Drugs, Dye Stuffs, Perfumery, Genuine Patent Medicines,. Horse and Cattle Medicines, and all Articles Generally sold by: Druggists. PEESCEIPTIONS AND FAMILY EECIPES CAI1•r�1+ Ly •�:C • P t ..'E .4'+ lJ A+Y Plt.[.d".tkt;t LsI15 'itgCuts f'ox' Ramis*: Glove Cleaner.