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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1951-12-07, Page 21`. '1144t TWO 0 THE HURON EXPOSITOR .0 Jim NUM EXPOSITOR kstablished 18:0 A. Y. McLean, Editor Published at Seaforth, Ontario, ev- ery Thursday afternoon by McLean Bros. Member of Canadian Weekly Newspapers Association. Subscription rates, $2.50 a year in advance; foreign $3.00 a year. Single copies, 5 cents each. Advertising rates on application. PHONE 41 Author zed as Second Class Mail Post Office Department, Ottawa SEAFORTH, Friday, December 7 Latin Up To Date It is some time since last we were faced with Latin as a subject in which one was required to obtain passing marks, but despite the pass- age of time we can recall vividly not only the difficulties the subject pre- sented, but also the doubt that exist- ed concerning the practical value of the language, Time has resolved our doubts regarding the latter, and we must admit that what little of the subject remained with us, has on more than one occasion proven useful in ' determinin_a the meaning of a word, or in helping us understand sense of a particular phrase. Now we read that finally the prob- lem we faced many years ago is re- alized, and that a new text book is available for Grade 9 Latin students, which brings the language back to life for the students. Emphasis in the course is on English derivatives, and some English teachers are even using the textbook. The textbook is said to have included in it such tales as Little Red Riding Hood and the Three Little Pigs, in Latin. A glos- sary gives translations of Latin mot- tos. Any move that will have the result of injecting some Iife into the lang- uage, of course, will have the bless- ing of present-day students, even if it entails learning Three Little Pigs. But at the same time, if the interest of the students can be aroused, the benefit to be derived by them in their study of Latin cannot help but be in- creased, • .Don't Like Dirt Apparently- all these years the hog has been a much slandered animal. If you think he would rather be in a mudhole than in a nice clean stable, you are mistaken. The expression. "as dirty as a pig," is not founded on fact. In any event that's what Animal . usbandry Professor Hobart Jones, t .Purdue University "Hogs don't like to get dirty," he Bald, "They're among the o 'l4's cleanest atiifiiais if you give ,them a chance." said many people have the wrong idea about hog hygiene. The only reason a hog is dirty is because the farmer won't let him keep clean, Jones said. This is not o ly unfair to the hog, but unecono ' 1 for the farmer, because clean hogs make better pork chops. • What, No Attic? Modern house plans that make no provision for an attic arouse the ire of the Farmer's Advocate when it notes that youthful journalists, in magazine and newspaper articles, are commending house planners and architects for omitting the attic in present-day designs. "They are all wrong," the Advocate claims, and suggests that they err, perhaps, be- cause they have never enjoyed the thrills of snooping around in an old- fashionet attic where are found the cast-off raiment, the tools and the toys of previous generations. "If the specimens go back to bustles and hoop skirts so much the better and nothing makes the exploration more interesting than a bundle of old love petters tied up with a ribbon. "An attic is invaluable, first as a place to store baby carriages and cribs, which are often sold or given lay too soon, and as a place to in- rate n•te turbulent boys on a stormy "This addition to the house is worth all it costs just to see the pride and pleasure in which grandmother brings down the crib and the toys after 20 years and the first grand- child arrives for a visit." What Other Papers Say: Crown's Value To Canada (Family Herald & Weekly Star) All Canadians will be pleased, be- cause, whatever our differences among ourselves, we recognize that the Crown, which binds us all to- gether, and which is the keystone of a form of Government which would be impossible without it, is extreme- ly valuable to us—and also to the world at Iarge. For the British Com- monwealth of Nations, with all its faults and anachronisms and illogi• calities, has an influence, both through the world at large and through the Commonwealth coun- tries themselves, which is far more wholesome and stable than could be the case if we drifted apart into the whirlpools and cross currents of in- ternational politics.. • There Is Lots To Do (Wingham Advance -Times) "There are two businesses which must work all of the time, despite holidays and emergencies. These are the railroads and your weekly and daily newspapers. Railroading is outside our scope, but the weekly newspaper is very familiar to us. We have our problems and we flatter ourselves that they are not common to any other business. How many unionized workers would put up with the long hours, the rush, the criti- cism and the -deadlines. Those dead- lines are always there, hanging over our heads like the sharp knife of the guillotine. Some of our friends are prone to show lack of knowledge of our business, as, leaning over our of- fice counter they drawl, "It shouldii't be hard to put out a paper once t a week. What do you do with your- self the rest of the time?" With some effort we smile, and reply that we manage to stay busy." • Want Entertainment (Waterloo Chronicle) With the ever increasing number of entertainment houses such as theatres. arenas. auditoriums, halls, ete., and as more and more profes- sional entertainers are being brought in to the larger centres the art of creating one's own entertainment is on the decline. Never before in his- tory has this been more true than day. � - tho present. ay. We are -no longer' able to keep ourselves amused but 1 require the very expensive services of people who make fabulous wages trying to make us laugh, cry, sing, or "what have You." The results of Our ineapabilities are becoming more prevalent as the weeks and years go by. We are told of the ever-increas- ing number of juvenile delinquents caused by homes which were unable to keep the younger members occu- pied with things to do. • Grandma Had a System (Edmonton Journal) Once upon a time, we are told, raising children was a fairly` straightforward business. Today, "experts" pour out "scientific" advice from every quarter, and mothers who listen too closely to the chorus often find it pretty bewildering. An American child specialist, per- haps to the surprise of some of his colleagues, doesn't think too much of this chorus of advice. He is Dr. Herman Little, of the school of medi- cine at the University of Buffalo. Quoth he: "Up to 1900, mothers were doing a pretty good job of raising their chil- dren. We knocked the stuffiing out of them and they began to feel one had to be a scientist to raise a child." As a result, he believes many mothers have lost confidence in their handling of their children, regard- less of how they do it, This loss of confidence Dr. Little considers very bad for both tchildren and mothers. CROSSROADS (By James Scott) REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN - - The trouble with the city is that nobody knows any stories. Well, of course I don't mean THOSE stories, the kind the boys in the back room know by the hundred; everybody, even a city slicker, knows a few of them. What I real- ly mean are the kind of stories a fellow is likely to hear as he takes a stroll along Main Street of a fine winter afternoon. You'll be standing in somebody's store and before you know it two or three people are standing near the back thaving a little gossip. "You know who 1 saw today" one will ask. The others will say no they don't know. "Why I saw old so-and-so," he'll say. Then the others will ask what's he doing now, and how does he happen to be back in the old home town, and it's no time at all until one of them will start, "Do you remember the time when . . - And the boys are off; one story leads to another. acid if yon listen long enough you'll get the idea that the old town has never had a dull citizen in it in its entire history; that every mother's son was an astonishing character. who spent all his time thinking up practical jokes or getting in and out of scrapes. And it always ended hap- pily. In the city they don't talk that way. After all, how could they? Half the time they don't even know the name of the man next door, and by the time they get around to knowing each' other, one of them moves to another part of the town. in my own office almost every week there is a new face in the City Room and versa" often it its gone on to another job before I get to know the name that goes with the face. How would I ever get to know a funny anecdote about a chap like that? I'm lucky if I Can get to call him by his first name. And that's one of the mato rea- sons why cities often seem inhu- man in contrast to Ontario towns where good stories are carried on generation to generation. It's one of the things which makes small towns so alive and so human. Of course, there are those who will say that we haven't got the tall story -tellers we used to have, and they may be right at that. There are still plenty of good ones here and about, but some of the best have passed on. I knew one when I was a small boy, and although I was only six or seven at the time, 1 can still remember some of the wild tales he used to tell Like this one: "My boy," he said to me one day when we were driving through the country, "you don't know you're living. Why, when 1 was a boy your age we really had to work. You ever have to go out in all kinds of weather to bring in one hundred and forty-four cows?" "No, sir," I admitted; "I never have" "Well I had to," he said, looking me straight in the eye. "One hun- dred and forty-four cows, every sin- gle day, rain or shine-" After all, who was 1 to doubt him? "And one terrible day," he boom- ed, "catastrophe struck." I wasn't sure what "catastrophe" was, but I gathered it was worse than being caught giggling in church. "I was in the back pasture rounding the bundred and fory- four when the most terrible cloud- burst in the history of Huron County struck. To get back I had to ford those cows across a little stream. but it rained so hard it had become a raging torrent and no cow could live in iL What should I do?" "What did yon do?" I asked. "Well, in those days everything was bug—the trees were big and there was a fairly large one—dead and rotten—standing by the bank of the stream. Well, my boy, I saw it wouldn't last long in that gale. so I leaned against her so she'd fall across the stream, and soon she did. Then, my boy, I drove those hundred and forty -foal cows throu h that old hollow1.1,4. and trhet 1 got to the other side 1 counted them, and sure enough a ,hundred and thirty-four had got across safely." "A. hundred and thirty-four?" I said. "You saidt there were a hun- dred and forty-four." The story -teller looked at inc and worked. "I said it was a pretty big tree, boy. I always figured those other ten cows got lost in the branches!" Well. you see what I mean. May- be we haven't got story -tellers quite as good as that one, but we've got enough to keep laughter and humanity on Main Street, and that's good enough for me. To The Editor Toronto, Nov. 28. 1951. Editor, The Huron Expositor: Dear Sir: Your recent editorial. "Hens fro Their Part." should be studied by urban Canadians, and especially those modern 'wo:kers' dedicated to the proposition of working as little as possible for as many- dollars as possible. It is en- ceuraging to learn that "Canada's hens. according to the Bureau of Statistics. each produced 14.5 eggs in September. In September of 1950 the hens averaged only 10.6 eggs." A good deal of unfavorable pub- licity was directed to the fact that during the first eight months of 1951. Canada had imported 24.500 cases of eggs from Western Euro- pean countries. The fact may have some bearing on -the improvement to which your editorial points. Be that as it may, I feel it is import- ant to keep such figures in some- thing like fair focus—so that the final consumers don't beg -in to think that farmersrnare falling down og tuctive job. Of too mite `lions of town and city readers who would read that "Canada had im- ported 24,500 Cases of eggse' only the tiniest fraction would stop to realize that these 24.500 cases of foreign eggs—i.e., 8.8 million eggs —would not supply the egg needs of the Canadian people for twenty- four hours. The total disappear- ance of eggs in the home market calls for a fraction over 10 million every day. r May 1 just add that I was pleas- ed with that resolution of the Hur- on Federation of Agriculture, as re- ported. in your Nov. 23 issue, ask- ing that farm help corning to Can- ada "should remain two years in- stead of one on the farms." This would certainly be no particular hardship in the esse Of genuine "farm help." It is sincerely to be hoped that the labor needs of the !agricultural community are remem- ; bered, and spotlighted appropriate ly in Canada's immigration policies !and publicity, 6RGA\IZED FARMER Crop Report For Huron Two hundred and eighty-five per- sons are enrolled in Rural Com- munity Night School classes in the county and about thirty-five more expected to register Thursday eve- ning, Dec. 6. Most of the outside fail work has now been completed with almost all cattle stabled for the winter and the majority are in good condition.. Thereis still considerable husking corn to be picked Most farmers appear to have sufficient supplies of roughage and coarse grains in storage for the winter mouths. 2 R ,int Wheat As a Feed For Livestock In periods when a e heat •surplus exists or when the crop has been damaged by frost- rust or unfavor- able weather at harvest time, the importance of giving wheat a place in farm rations merits considera- tion- Wheat is fully as palatable as the coarse grains more commonly used for feed. When mixing wheat with other grains. it should be done by weight rather than by measure. Wheat should never he ground finely for feeding. Medium to coarse grinding or rolling is pre- ferable as finely ground wheat may become pasty wben moistened and result in digestive disorders. PiGS — Wheat, like all other grains, has individual characteris- tics and limitations in pig feeding, which require that it be used with judgment. Though in some cases a high proportion of this grain has been used in feed mixtures with apparent satisfaction. there is some experimental evidence which sug- gests nggests that under certain conditions hogs so fed may be penalized in carcass, grade for over-finbsit even when marketed at 200 Minds live weight. However, wheal a mixture of grains is used there should be no donger of carcass penalty trace- able to wheat when it constitutes not -over 60 per cent of the feed mixture. Wheat to be satisfactory for swine feeding, like the other cereal grains, requires the addition of pro- tein, mineral and vitamin supple- ments. BEEF CATTLE—For fattening market cattle, it is safer to feed wheat mixed with grains of a bul- ky nature. Oats are particularly suitable for this purpose. It is ad- visable to include a high percent- age of oats at the beginning of the feeding period and gradually in- crease the proportion and amount of wheat or other heavy grains as the period advances- 'Wheat should be rolled or coarsely ground for cattle. DAIRY CATTLE—Cows in milk require a generous ration which is rich in digestible nutrients., and particularly rich in proteins and minerals. When legume hays form all or part of the roughage fed to dairy cows of average producing ability, the need for costly, high protein feeds is reduced and the cer- eal grains, including wheat., can be used more widely. Wheat may re- place the coarse grains and bran in the ration of the milking cow to the extent of one-third of the total grain ration. SHEEP—Wheat has been fed ex- tensively to fattening lambs and wintering ewes. It is frequently fed in the unground state, although the hard milling grades should be coarsely ground or cracked for gen- eral sbeep feeding. A mixture by weight of one part wheat and two parts oats would be suitable for ewes and for lambs during the ear - (Continued on Page 7) f QTS 'ENNY HAS AN AWFUL SOUptiT, EVERY TIME SHE READS SMALL PRINT WEARING GLASSES WOULD BE WISE, THEY'D HEIR HER GOOD LOOKS -AND HER EVES Dept el National Health and Wlhr• Years Agone Interesting Items Picked From The Huron Expositor of Twen- ty-five and Fifty Years Ago From The Huron Expositor December 10, 1926 A furnace is being installed in St. Andrew's Church in Bayfield. Fire destroyed the large fish shanty belonging to Wm. Sturgeon, Bayfield, on Saturday. Mr, Stur- geon had been mending nets in the forenoon and was working across the river all afternoon and when he went home at supper time there teemed ho sign of file, but in a short time the building was 1. mass of flame, and nothing could be saved, A small insurance was car- ried, Real wintry weather struck this district on Saturday and reports state that the thermometer was six below zero. Mr. Frank Riley, of Constance, was lucky enough to catch an Are - tic owl Last week alive. It measur- ed over five feet from the tips of its wings. A. and J. Broadfoot, Alex Sin- clair and D. Fotheringham & Son, of Tuckersmith, who exhibited at the Winter Fair, Guelph, succeeded in carrying off nine prizes in the horse classes. Melvin Crich, also of Tuckersmith, captured two prizes for his Shorthorn cattle. Mr. Ma, McMillan, M.P., left on Wednesday to lttteild the open- ing of the Dominion Parliament'st Ottawa, which took place Thurs- day. Public interest iii the Edit brth Collegiate Commencement exercis- es seem to increase with each year. It was held in Cardno's Hall on Friday night and the hall was filled to capacity. Principal W. G. Spencer presided. Several dances were executed by the girls of the different forms. The oratorical con- tests showed marked ability in those taking part, namely, Miss El- va Wheatley, Basil Duncan, Elean- or Burrows, Murray Savauge, and Miss M. Armstrong, who won the contest. Beatrice and Robert Eber- hart danced the Highland Fling. The play, "The Tempest in the Tea- pot," was also a feature. Taking part were Andrew McLean, Elroy Brownlee, L. Talbot, Robert W'llltte Bertha Grieve, Laura McMillan, Margaret Ferguson and Margaret Armstrong. Leading in the Shetland pony contest, which closes Saturday, Dec. 11, is Miss Jean Dungrey. • From The Huron Expositor December 6, 1901 Miller J. White, editor of the Ex- eter Times, met with an unfortun- ate_accident on Sunday evening. While on his way to church he slip- ped and fell, breaking hfs leg be- tween the knee and thigh. Gordon 'McDonald, Leo Flannery and Moody Holland, of Walton, hare gone to Sault Ste. Marie, where they will be employed in the lumber woods during the winter months. Mrs. David Clark, of Hensel', had the misfortune on Monday to slip on the doorstep and break her arm between the wrist and elbow. Messrs. Archibald and Cudmore, Seaforth, shipped two carloads of horses to Listowel on Tuesday. They are for South Africa and will be inspected before being shipped there. Mr. John G. Wilson. Seaforth, has secured a good position in a hard- ware store in Wolesley. Sask.. and intends leaving here shortly for that place. A meeting for the purpose of reorganizing Seaforth Collegiate Hockey Club was held Tuesday eve- ning, when the following officers were elected: President, Mr. Coi- ling; vice-president, Mr. Brown; secretary -treasurer, E. Murray; manager, F. Broadfoot; captain, C. P. Sills; managing committee, A. Waugh, L. McDonald, H. Bright, A. Broadfoot. Miss H. I. Graham, Seafortb, has a poem of her own composition in the Scottish American Journal of New York. It is well written and is alike creditable to the head and heart of the accomplished author- ess. Mr. J. G. Crich. who thas been exploring in the Temiskaming dis- trict„ New Ontario, has returned home. He says there is very good farming land and an abundance of good timber. Mr. G. F. Rogers bas established two reading rooms in connection with the Institute, one for the boys and one for the girls. Daily papers and leading magazines will be fur- nished to the puede for reading out of school. DECEMBER 7, 1951 Seen in the County Papers Suffer Minot' Injurlea Mr. and Mrs. 13. M. Francis suf- fered minor injuries when their car was in collision with another ve- hicle while they were on their way to Florida The accident happened at Bowling Green, Kentucky, . on Saturday. Damage to the Francis car was about $500.—Exeter Times. Advocate. Firemen's Ball Largely Attended A targe crowd was present for the firemen's ball held in the Mem- orial Hall on Friday night. The firemen always get a good crowd at this annual event. Mr. Archie Young won the door prize, which was a turkey, and the firemen re- alized a tidy net profit for their ee forts.—Blyth Standard. Plaque Unveiled By Assessor A special feature of the nomina- tion meeting for Grey Township, in Ethel on Monday was the unveiling of a plaque on which are inscribed the names of all the reeves and clerks of Grey Township since 1856. The unveiling was performed by Alex Alexander, of Goderich, coun- ty assessor, a former reeve of Grey ::nd Warden of Huron County in 1945. A packed hall witnessed the ceremony.—Goderich Signal -Star. Fall Results in Dislocation Mrs. Walter Edwards, town, sus- tained a nasty injury on Monday evening in her home. She was standing on a chair, in the act of removing some dining room decora- tions when the chair gave way, thrusting her against a table as she fell. As a result, her left shoulder bone was thrown out of joint. Im- mediate medical attention was re- ceived, but she will be incapacitat- ed for a few weeks.—Mitchell Advo- cate. Recital At Collegiate Miss Marjorie Hays, Goderich, gave a recital in costume, under the auspices of the Huron branch Ontario Registered Music Teachers Association in the Clinton Collegi- ate auditorium. Alex Clark, (lode - rich, was her accompanist. Miss Hays, wtho has a beautifully clear and well-trained soprano voice, with rich depth, in almost the en- tire range, showed her versatility in the wide choice of her numbers. All groups of songs were done in appropriate costume and cleverly acted. Selections from Jerome Kern's "Show Boat" had the most popular audience reaction.—Clinton Citizen's News. In Money At Winter Fair Among those from this district who took prizes at the Royal Win- ter Fair was Mr. Warren Brock, of Zion, wtho showed nine market cat - ale and was in the money with. them all. Among his prizes hes claimed 'one first, .two seconds and a third. Three of his cattle were - among 34 chosen to compete for the grand champion steer. Besides Bob Bern and Bob Kinsmen, who placed first and second in the King's Guineas, two others of the Exeter Calf Club made a good showing. They were Torn Easton and Murray Dawson, both of w-thom were awarded blue ribbons. Their beasts sold for 40 ys cents a pound* at the fair auction.—Exeter Times - Advocate. Celebrates 84th Birthday Mrs. Annie Brown, Albert St.,.. Clinton, celebrated her 89th birth- day Friday, Nov. 23, at her home. A daughter of the late'Jos'hph and Annie Nott Stevens, she *as borm in Hullett Township in 1862, and attended S.S. 6, Hariock school in. Hullett. In 1888 she was married to Ephriam Brown and they farmed a 150 -acre farm on the 8th and 9th-: concessions south of Londesboro.. On her husband's retirement they came to Clinton, where Mr. Browe died in 1935. Mrs. Brown is a. member of Ontario Street United Church. She is in very good health. and is able to do a considerable amount of her housework. Early in' October her four daughters held at family reunion for her and cele-• brated the birthday then. Her fam- ily includes Mrs. William Hoggarth, Clinton, with whom she lives; Mrs, Edward Youngblut, Londesboro; Mrs. Gordon Curts, Arkona, and' Mrs. Wes. Hoggarth, Base Line. -- Clinton Citizen's News. Prompt Action Saves House Prompt action on the part of LAC. Gerald Lamirandi, who is oc- cupying J. E. Howard's house on Louisa Street, Bayfield, possibly saved the house from being gutted by fire on Sunday morning. Ars overheated stovepipe in, the Tieing: room was the cause of the fire, which broke out about a quarter - past eight when beaverhoard in be tween wooden lath anvil gyproc ig: nited from the reel Hot pipe. Mre. Lamirandi managers' to throw" some water ep around the pipe hole which went through the ceiling and temporarily dampened the blanc,: then he pulled some of the gyproc- off the ceiling with a poker and extinguished it with a pail of wa- ter. Mrs. Lamirandi was upstairs. dressing their four children to get them out of the house while her husband battled the fire. An alarms was turned in to Bayfield fire brie gade but before the engine had ar- rived, Mr. Lamirandi reported to the gathering firemen that the fire, was out.—Clinton News -Record.. The Suez Canal (By Lewis Milliganl The Suez Canal has been very much in the news of late, and its geographical location should be well known to every school boy, but how many adults know anything about its history? Even for those whe think they know all about it, a brief review of the facts should be of interest at the present time when so much seems to depend up- on what is happening or may yet happen in that strip of territory. To begin with; The l thinus of Suez is a desert with salt lakes anti marshes which joins Africa to Asia and is 75 miles wide from Port Said on the Mediterranean to Port Tewfik On the Gulf of Suez, an arm of the Red Sea, e - The first canal was built over 4,000 years ago to one of the lakes in the centre of the Isthmus. About 1.500 years later it was extended via the salt lakes to the Gulf of Suez. But it repeatedly fell into disrepair and was last restored in 640 A.D., after the Arab conquest, and continued to be used for 200 years. In 1859 the plans of Ferdi- nand de Lesseps, a Frenchman, were followed for the construction of the present canal, which was completed in 1869. A controlling interest in the canal was obtained by Britain in 1875. 'Phe breadth of the canal is 196 feet, the depth about 42 feet, and the length about 100 miles. It is a sea -level canal without locks, and is navigated in 16 to 20 hours. The annual ton- nage through the canal before the second World War amounted to ov- er 30 million tons, carried in more than 5,500 vessels. The recent blocking of the Suez Canal to British tankers by the Egyptian government, which has led to the present situation, was an infringement of an internation- al convention. The Suez Canal Convention was signed on October 29. 1888, by Great Britain, France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Russia, Spain, Turkey and Austria- Hungary. The Convention provid- ed as follows: Article 1. The Maritime Canal of Suez shall always be free and open in time of war as in time of peace, to every ship of trade or war, without distinction of flag. In consequence the High Contracting Parties agree to make no attack upon the free usage of the Canal in time of war as in time of peace. The Canal shall never be subject- ed to the menace of blockade. Article Iv laid down that no right of war, no act of hostility, nor any act having as its object hindering the free navigation of the Canal can be committed in the Canal or its port of access. Thus it will be seen that the Egyptian government has not on- ly broken its agreement by which the British occupy the Canal zone for protection and upkeep purpos- es, but ,has ,flouted an internation- al agreement that provided for the free use of the great waterway link between the East and Weat by all nations in peace or War. That Convention in itself was an invaluable insurance of protect iota for Egypt. But the present gov- ernment at Cairo, like that of Iran.. is crazily Mind to its own nation- al interests, The Egyptians have nothing td gain, but might lose everything by the withdrawal of the British and the abandonment of the Cnnrt-rr tion. They could not defend the-- canal, and the Suez Isthmus would' be an open highway for the march-- of an army from the .East: into' orthere Africa, It is for that ceee son that the British government, backed by the Atlantic powers, is determined to bold the Suez Can- al, and the Egyptians should ee-. !grateful. But there is another and' more important reason; the Canal is the only short route for ships-. between the East and West. and if it were destroyed, maritime trade and traffic between the two hemispheres would be cut off. The Suez Canala used to be called'. "The Highway to India"; without it that and other free countries in the East would be isolated and at the mercy of the new Genghis Khans. A Smile Or Two "Any big men born around here?''' a tourist asked in a condescending' tone. "Nope." responded the native. "Best we can do is babies. Differ- ent fee the city, I suppose?" • The wife was learning to drive. A neighbor, interested in the pro- cess, asked the husband how she• was getting along. "Not too well." he sighed. "She took a turn for the worse last. week!,. • said the exasperated father, "batt make itthe last one." "Well,.' said his small son, "when a doctor gets sick and another doc- tor doctors him, does the doctor doing the doctoring have to doctor the doctor, the way the doctor be- ing doetored wants to be doctored, or does the doctor do the doctor- ing of the doctor his own way?" • "Well, Mary, now that we've• struck oil, I• want you to have some decent clothes," said Farmer Jones handing this wife a big roll of :bills. "13111 Jones! I'll have you know that I've worn decent clothes all my life," Mrs. Jones replied. "Now I'm going to dress like other wo- men.'. • A dear old lady once went to hear n lecture on astronomy. in the enacting discusion she got up and wilted anxioufy, "When die you say that the syn will lose its .heat and we shall all freeze to death?" "In about four billion years," wan the reply. Her tension subsided. "Thank the Lopd," she sighed. "I thought yeti said four million years!!"