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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1951-06-29, Page 2tib E M1111OH Established 1560 ;t - A. Y. McLean, Editor Published at Seaforth, Ontario, ev- lay Thursday afternoon by McLean Member of Canadian Weekly Newspapers Association. Subscription rates, $2.00 a year in advance; foreign $2.50 a year. Single copies, 5 cents each. Advertising rates on application. PHONE 41 Authorized as Second Class Mail Post Office Department, Ottawa S'EAFORTH, Friday, June 29, 1951 Age Is Not a Matter of Years At this time in Canada's history when pensions are ever present in the minds of so many people, it is wise to consider that because of an arbitrarily determined pensionable age the usefulness of an individual Is not necessarily finished when he reaches that age. Security for our senior citizens is not only desirable, but is the Ieast that an enlightened society can pro- vide them. That fact has been re- cognized by passage by the Federal Parliament of the initial phase of broadened old age security legisla- tion. While people may have reached an age at which they will receive a pen- sion, it does not follow that they are no longer able to fulfill an important place in society. As the Des Moines Register says: "Older people some- times bitterly resent compulsory re- tirement at some arbitrary age, and the time is coming when proper and dignified ways will be found to use their talents in productive works ev- en when they cannot stand the con- tinuous grind a younger person can." In most previous civilizations, dis- ease and violence killed off all but the hardiest by the age of 40, and the rare survivors were honored leaders and counsellors. Our civilization, though run mostly by people in their CO's, tends to deprecate and if pos--. Bible deny age. In the never-never world of movies and advertisements, the ideal is 20 and the maximum 40, and people try strenuously to ape this pattern. The Register goes on to warn us that "we ought to be getting mature enough to stop fearing and hating old age, and to see it realistically and humanly. We can see that it is not a guarantee of wisdom, as the ancients thought; nor an obstacle to progress, as our fathers thought; and that it gleed not be a personal tragedy, if we go at it right. "The first thing we need to learn is that old age is not a bureaucratic category with sharply declined Iim- its. The very question 'How old is old.?' is absurd and insulting." • The Usfulness of Latin The Toronto Board of Education has recently announced that it in- tends to "spruce up" the classical subject of Latin for grade nine stu- dents. The announcement has re- sulted in some editorial discussion as to the value of the study of the language by students of today. Our experience with Latin, during the years we were associated with it while ill attendance at what was then the Seaforth Collegiate Insti- tute, was not particularly successful. We ultimately passed by a disturb- ingly narrow margin, not because we knew or appreciated the subject, but because of the long suffering persistence and all-round ability pos- sessed by Miss Foreman, who was our teacher. To her, Latin was something that lived, and that in the years to come would be of value to er pupils. At the time we thought, as prob- ably pupils of today think, that Latin was a subject we could very well do without. It was not until some years after our formal education had end- ed that we learned to appreciate that tixr admittedly limited knowledge of ht subject was useful. e eats agree `then, with the Ot- awa Citizen, when it says: "What s. th be , egnpb :si ed is that lang- " vital' tool, Of modern world Its` intention was as corisie.. I ,if ! T E UURO I ] POSITOR 0 quential as the discovery db tire, the' first fashioning of 6e wheel, the developme'. 4.®f the eternal combus- ts, engine, Other things being eq- ual, the more highly developed are oral and written speech, the more highly developed is the society which uses that speech. To a large extent the limitations of a primitive society are the (imitations of language. This being true, any factor -which gives precision and power to a man's use of his native tongue has value. If a study of Latin, through examina- tion of root meanings, is able to sharpen up that usage, then Latin is a worthwhile discipline." Perhaps had the regulations at that time permitted the "sprucing up", of Latin, Miss Foreman's task would not have been so difficult. As the Citizen says, "the teachers might wisely make the subject a study of matters social, domestic, civic, and even perhaps, amatory." • On Keeping Fit Concerned as to how anyone gets any exercise now that the automobile has won out over the horse, the Leth- bridge Herald thinks that if every- body walked to work there would be no need of reducing diets. It argues thus: "In the old days it took quite a bit of strength to ov- ercome the occasional stubbornness of a husky team of horses, so even if a man rode to work, he got some ex- ercise. "Nowadays, however, the only ex- ercise a man gets out of a car is the occasional time he is forced to con- template a flat tire, and then he probably calls the garage for assist- ance. The rest of the time he just sits at the wheel and steers the car down the street. No effort at all. "No' wonder there are so many people dieting or thinking of dieting these days. How can a person keep fit if he doesn't get some exercise? We'd wager that if half the men who are or who should be on a diet would walk to work that their avoirdupois problem would be but a shadow of its former self." What Other Papers Say: At Play On the Streets (The Ottawa Journal) With balmy weather and that na- tural inclination of children to play outdoors it seems that a great many more children than usual are using city streets for a playground, often the middle of streets, without older children around. Even tiny tots who can barely walk can be seen. Parents and older children cannot be expected to watch every move a lively youngster makes, and they cannot all be kept indoors or on a leash these days, but the streets have become so dangerous, and there have been so many accidents to children lately, that every possible precaution should be, taken. Careless drivers may be blamed for many of the accidents which in- volve children, but the plain truth is that with the density of traffic and - numbers of parked cars on almost every city street today, even the most cautious driver in the world is liable to be involved in an accident where a child is the victim. Children are trusting, and the very young ones unthinking, and how to keep them off streets in many areas is a problem for parents. They will play tag, run after balls and dogs and rush from behind parked cars. It takes only a moment of careless- ness, a turn of the head, and the deed is done. The possibility of making the very young child aware of dan- ger is pretty hopeless. What can be done, however, is for all drivers to be doublycareful and never relax for an instant on streets where any child appears in sight, even on the sidewalk and for those in charge of young children to be constantly on the watch to see they do not stray. The Mair Delays in Olden Days Perhaps one of the most unusual ways of conveying a message was that alleged to have been used by Kos•ru, trusted bodyguard of King, Amenophes of Egypt in 1380 B.C. The king had promised his teach- er, Amosru, that when he ascend, ed the throne he would once again institute sun worship. To get his message through safely, he had Kosru's head shaved and painted the hieroglyphics on his scalp. Koahru remained in seclusion until his hair grew in again, and then made the journey of 300 miles from Memphis to Thebes without being suspected. Amenophes may have been sin- cere in his intention of restoring sun worship, but it is clear that he was in no tremendous hurry to "get the message through!" An early example of the use of pigeons for communication is found in the story of Laurentius, confiden- tial advisor to the Roman Emperor Trajan in 98 A.D. Allowing him- self to be captured by the enemy,. Laurentius le.araed the plans of Decebalus, King of the Dacians. Inscribing his message on papyrus, he despatched it by a pigeon which 'he had brought with him. After his victory, Trepan declared, "The gods found means to warn me from the skies." In the Middle Ages, when Royal Messengers constituted the only regular mail service, several postal organizations were family affairs. Perhaps one of the most famous was the noble hose of Thurn and Taxis in the Holy Roman Empire. By 1500 Francis von Taxis had a remarkable family of postmen, in- cluding his (five brothers and num- erous aunts, uncles, nephews and cousins. They served. most royal houses of the clay. (The Blue Bell) His news seems to have included the first announcement of the dis- covery of gold .in California—an event which was to stimulate tre- mendously efforts to establish speedy communication from coast to coast. At fisat fast clipper ships were employed to make the 15,000 -mile voyage around Cape Horn. They made the voyage from New York to San Francisco in about three months. After the completion of a rail- road across the Isthmus• of Pan- ama, this time was reduced to about a month. In February, 1858, what seems to have been a record! was established when the steamer "Golden Age" reached, San Francis- co with mails which had left the dock in New York 21 days, two hours and 13 minutes before. Meanwhile, in 1857, the original Southern Overland Mail, connect- ing San Antonio, Tex-, and San Diego, Cal., had begun operation. Mail was carried at first on pack animals, and the line came to be popularly known as "The Jackass Mail." On these early trips, it was sometimes necessary to sling the mailbags across the Pecos River with rawhide ropes. Stages drawn by four or six mules were intro- duce& The scheduled• time for the 1,476 -mile trip was 30 days. News was relayed eastward and west- ward from the terminal points by telegraph in the following year, the famous Butterfield Overland Maid route was inaugurated, between St. Louis and San Francisco. The scheduled time for the 2,795 -mile route was 25 days, and the first mail from the east bettered that by 25 hours, while the first from the west took only a few hour. longer. In 1860 the Pony Express began regular trips between St. Joseph, Mo., and Sacramento, Cal., a dis- tance of I,966 miles. Linking the gap in the transcontinental tele- graph line, these riders reduced the time for the transmission of mes- sages from coast to coast from 23 days to nine days. In the follow- ing year, upon completion of the telegraph line, the Pony Express was discontinued, Canada's transcontinental service was, of course, established with the completion of the Canadian Pacific and telegraph line in 1885. As the Canadian Pacific Railway Company also operated steamships crossing .both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, this epochal event ended. the era of the famed China clipper ships, and altered the tea trade of the world. The classic example of the disas- trous consequences of slow means of communication before the wide- spread use of the telegraph is the Battle of New Orleans, bloodiest and' most bitterly -contested. strug- gle in the War of 1812. This battle was fought on January 8, 1815. Meanwhile, on December 24, I814, the Treaty of Ghent, ending the war, had been signed, but the news of the peace dM not reach America until February 11, 1815, when a copy of the treaty was brought to New York on a British war vessel. Even after the establishment of centralized postal systems for pub- lic use in the 17th century, the speed of communication was not appreciably increased over that of classical times. The first postboys were required to ride at seven miles an hour in summer, five in w inter. At the beginning of the 19th century, the fastest stage coaches averaged 10 miles an hour. Transatlantic passages were not much faster than Columbus's first voyage. which took more than two months. For example, when the Quebec Gazette, the second news- paper in Canada, made its appear- ance on June 21, 1764,its European news was 7'0 days old. The advent of steam brought gradual improve- ment in this performance. In 1838 the Great Western, first steamship built expressly for traas'atlantic service, took 18 days to sail from Bristol to New York. By the time the first successful Atlantic cable was completed in 1866, "crack" lin- ers had cut this time in half. Before the completion of the first :ranacontinsi tal telegraph line in 1861, communication between Am- erica's Atlantic and Pacific coasts was even more difficult. Travelling overland in 1848, such ,ls hardy scout as Kit Carson took four months to carry the first mail from Los Angeles to Washington, D.C- Pure Bred Pig Testing Id North America there are two; general types of +hogs—lard and bacon types. The fact that some breeds are classified as bacon hogs shows that the difference is con- sidered to be one of breeding, and not merely of feeding or manage- ment. Pig testing in Canada, call- ed Record . of Performance or R.O. P. is based on this belief, and its purpose is to help the breeder of pure bred pigs to make a more ac- curate selections of the most de- sirable breeding animals in his herd. Excess fat is now a liabil- ity and reduces the value of the `log on the market. Desirable hogs are those which have the highest proportion of lean or muscle in the areas of the highest priced cuts. These are the middle and hams. Though an appraisal of carcass quality is the most important fea- ture of the Canadian system of pig 'eating, says J. G. Lefebvre who is ,;losely associated with the Canada Department of Agriculture R.O.P. work, other utility factors of prim- ary importance to all hog risers. are part of the system. Thebe are litter size—for which the minimum requirement is eight pigs weaned - age for weight, and feed required for one hundred pounds gain in weight. Except for litter size, the record for a sow is based on the performance of a litter test group of four of her pigs. These are us. ually fed at central station's where feeding can be standardized. Mar- keting takes place when pigs will yield, a carcass of about 150 pounds. Carcass quality is appraised on the basis of six key factors of qual- ity. There are length of side, thick- ness of back fat, size of maid back muscle, balance of cuts, quality of belly and general type. The first four are scored on measurement or weight. Belly grade is determined by comparison with photo stand ards, type by commercial grade standard's for general conforma- tion. Taken together these factors provide an accurate appraisal of the suitability of swine • carcasses to meet modern deniands for a low fat, high lean carcass. Pig testing, Mr. Lefebvre points out, is designed to help breeders. n selecting the most desirable an - mals from a utility standpoint. Its findings and records are based+ on results and its use enables the breeder to make a mord accurate selection of the sows and boars. which produce the most desirable carcasses and have the other de- sirable qualities of good bacon pigs. Records are published and are available to anyone, breeder or farmer, whodesires to obtain au- imals with a background of per- formance at the feed trough and on the block. Trench Silos For Grass Silage Trench silos offer safe and inex- pensive storage for one of the far- mer's most valuable, field: crops— grass silage—says W. F. Cordukes, of the Division of Field Husbandry, Soils and Agricultural Engineering, ,Central Exrper-imental Farris, Ot- tawa. Trench silos require few build- ing materials, can easily be built with farm labor and equipment and are frostproof, windproof and fire- proof. o r In locatllag a trench silo, the type of soil and drainage are important considerations. Areas with .high water tables and stoney soils are unsuitable. The silo should be lo- cated conveniently as possible to the barn for ease of feeding. It may be entirely below ground lev- el or partly below. While silos may have various dimensions, commonly used is a size eight to nine feet (three feet below ground surface) nine to 18 feet wide at the bottom and 12 to 18 feet wide at the top. Length of the trench depends on the capac- ity desired. The sloping walis prevent caving or crumbling at the sides of the silo and allow for fnore thorough packing of the ensilage. The entrance to the silo should be sloped to form a ramp to the silo floor. The walls, floors and ramps may or may not be lined. ,Reinforced concrete, cedar poles or planks make excellent Linings if a more or less permanent silo is required. If the silo is lined with wood, the lumber should be treated with pre- servative. During the filling and immediate- ly afterwards, the silage should be packed with animals or a tractor. Then the open top of the silo should be covered with a six-inch layer of earth to seal off the air. For trench silos in Eastern Can- ada, a roof is not essential; but highly desirable. It may be of Very Simple construction, such as (Continued MI Page 7) Seen in the ` County% Papers A "tasty dish prepared with ease, Is one that stars Canadian cheese. For breakfast, luncheon, snack or dinner, The cheese dish always proves a winner. Dept. of National Health and Welfare Years Agone Interesting Items Picked From The Huron Expositor of Twen- ty-five and Fifty Years Ago. Back From Florida Mr. and Mrs. Earl Empey, of Winter Haven, Florida, have re- tprned• to their farm on R.R. 2, Blyth,for the summer months, which is their usual custom.—Blyth Standard. Property Changes Hands Mr. Fred Howson has purchased the residential property on Dinsley Street from James F- Lockwood, and gets possession August 1, at which time we understand he will be moving his family to Blyth.— Blyth Standard. R.C.A.F. Contracts Awarded Further R.C.A.F.. contracts were announced in Ottawa by Defence Construction Limited, a crown company. They total nearly half a million dollars. Strait Steel Com- pany, Toronto, will erect prefabri- cated huts at R.C.A.F. Station, Clinton, contract price being $34,- 000.—Clinton News -Record. Flew To Virginia Mr. Robert Wallace is on a busi- ness trip to the States of East and West Virginia in connection with his turkey industry. He left Mal - ton airport by plane on Saturday afternoon, going by way of New York to various points in the Vir- ginias and expects to return the end of the week, He will also vis- it friends in Newark, N.J. — Blyth Standard. From The Huron Expositor July 2, 1926 Miss Marion Scarlett, who has had a most successful and enviable record as teacher of S.S. 6, McKil- lop, during the past six years, was most agreeably and pleasantly sur- prised by, the pupils at the close of the examinations Tuesday after- noon by the presentation of a beau- tiful fountain pen and pencil set, suitably encased, and an address. Orangemen from Exeter and neighboring centres marched to Caven Church Sunday evening to attend the annual church service. Rev. Jas. Foote, county chaplain, was in charge of the service. Mr. B. Klopp, son of Reeve E. F. Klopp, Zurich, has left for the O. A. C., Guelph, to complete his course of study. Zurich Band will furnish music on Friday at the lawn social on the lawn of Dr. Moffat, Varna. Mr. F. G. Neelin has received no- tice that it is the intention of the Customs Department to place him on the superannuation list. Mr. Neelins has occupied the position of customs officer for the past 35' years. The Free Press bowling club tro- phy was won. on Wednesday by J. J. Cluff;' Robert Devereaux and W. Thompson, who won their two games with a full plus. Mr. W. A. Crich has purchased a new Hudson Brougham, and Mr. Sam Spencer has purchased a new Whippet car from Mr. G. C. Bell, the agent. Mr. Gordon Waiper, a member of the staff of the Bank of Mon- treal, has been transferred to the branch at Simcoe. Mr. Tewksbury, of St. Marys, has been transferred. to the Zurich branch. ' Carmel Presbyterian Church, Hensall, held a garden party at the home of Mr,. James A. Bell, when the Paramount'Quartette from Seaforth furnished an excelent program of music. Mr, H. H. Neeb, township road• seperintend:ent, Zurich, has• com- pleted the improvement of the Main Street leading south out of the village, and the road is now safe for ail kinds of traffic. • From The Huron Expositor July 5, 1901 Mr. V. Knechtel, who has been an employee of the Broadfoot & Box furniture factory here for a great many years, has secured a position with the Knechtel Furni- ture Company of Hanover, and will likely be soon removing to that place. The agent for a patent smooth- ing iron, who canvassed the town a few weeks ago, was here deliver- ing the irons. He delivered 130 of them at $3.75 each. While bathing in the river at Roxboro on Monday, Master Roy Aetzel had a narrow escape from drowning. It is supposed he suf- fered! a partial sunstroke and it would likely have gone hard with him had his friend, Rufus Winter, not come to his aid. At a meeting of the Collegiate Institute board on Wednesday, Mr. Rogers, formerly the science mas- ter, was appointed principal at a salary of $1,200. The Dominion Day picnic at Dub- lin, held there on Monday under the auspices of Dublin Catholic Church, was lamely attended and was a very successful affair in ev- ery respect. On Saturday afternoon sparks from a traction en:gine being test- ed at the Seaforth Engine Works, set fire to the roof of the building in connection with the Coleman salt works. At the barn raising on the farm of James A. Bell, near Hensall, on Friday, there was quite a chapter of accident. Mr. Blair was struck on the head by a falling brace and quite seriously injured, while Thomas Bell, John Pepper and John Mousseau were each hit with pike poles. The final match for the football championship of Ontario was play- ed on the recreation grounds here on Friday last between Galt and the Hurons. The final score was. 24 in favor of Seaforth, thus the championship goes to Galt, they having won 5 goals to 3 in the two games. Mr. Wm- Rae, B,A., of Leadbury, who has been attending the School of Pedagogy in Hamilton, and Miss Christens Rae, who has been re- siding in Woodstock for some time, are -both home at preSent, ter, marked 'their golden wedding. anniversary. Before her marriage, Mrs. Cunningham was Ismnainia Hodgins, daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Hodgins, and Mr. Cun!miagham'ss parents were the late Mr. and Mrs. Thos. Cun- ningham. They were united, in marriage at the home of the bride on the Aux Sable Line, Biddulph Township, by Rev. Stout. They rt,sided in London until about 33: years ago when, they moved to Exeter, where Mr. Cunningham and M'r. Thomas Pryde were in partner- ship in the marble works. They have one son,' Rev. Borden •Cun- ningham„ now minister of the Church of Ascension, Windsor, and one granddaughter, Mrs. Evertors. Morris,, of London.—Exeter Times -- Advocate. Hold Trousseau Tea On Friday evening Mrs. Roy Adair was hostess at a trousseau tea at the home in honor of her daughter, Jean, a bride-to-be. The rooms were decorated with large baskets of pink and white peonies and wigelia. Assisting in disc:lay- i,ng the trousseau were Mrs. Ken- neth Baker, Mrs. Ross Hilbert and. Miss Grace Holmes.. Mrs. William H. Hilbert poured tea at a table covered with a hand -made lace cloth centred with pink and white carnations in a silver bowl and white tapers. Assisting in serving were Misses Irma Harrison, Lois Burchill and Mrs. Norm Johnson.— Wingham Advance -Times. Church Members Honored At the close of the service on Sunday morning at Trinity Angli- can Church, on behalf of the con- gregation, Mrs. J. A. Roberts spoke a few words of appreciation to Mr. and Mrs. Harold Stewart for their faithful devoted service in the work of the Sunday School. Miss Lorraine Hamilton made the pres- entation of gifts. Mr. Stewart thanked the Sunday School in a few well-chosen words. On Monday members of the choir presented gifts to Mrs. Stewart and Donald Stewart in recognition of their faithful service as choir members. Mr, and Mrs. Stewart and family leave next week for their new home in Goderich, and will be greatly missed in Trinity Church. —Blyth Standard. Mark Golden Anniversary On Tuesday, June 19, Mr. and Mrs. Walter Cunningham, of Exe- Honored On 20th Anniversary Mr. and' Mrs. Aubrey Collins, of Sebringville, werehonored, on the occasion of their twentieth wedding anniversary at their home, where. members of their family and a number of friends entertained them at a surprise party. Mr. Collins is the son of the late Mr. and Mrs. Wm.. Collins, of Stratford, and Mrs. Collins isthe daughter of - Mrs. • Drennan and the late Wm. Dren- nan of Ashfield Township. An en- joyable evening was. spent playing progressive euchre, prizes being won by Mrs. Fred Collins, Toronto, and. Mr.. Fred Wynne, Stratford,. The celebrants were presented with a set of boudoir lamps and many other gifts in honor of the - anniversary. An address of good wishes was read by Mr. John Eidt and the presentation was made by Mrs. Eidt. Mr. Collins. made a fit- ting reply, followed by "For They Are Jolly Good Fellows." After - ward's a dainty lunch was served.. —Goderich Signal -Star. Lions Elects Officers Officers of Bayfield Lions Club. for 1951-52- were installed at an impressive ceremony at a dinner meeting of the club in the Albion, Hotel, Bayfield, Tuesday evening of last week, by International Counsellor Lloyd E. Edighoffer, Mitchell. New officers are as fol- lows: President, J. Ernest Hovey;. past president, Charles Scotchmer: 1st vice-pres., Elgin Porter; 2n1i vice-pres., Kenneth Merner; 3rd vice-pres., John ,1/4E. Howard; secre- tary, Reg- Francis; treasurer, Har- vey Coleman; tail twister, Robert Walsh; directors, 1051-52, Wm. Clarke, Alfred Scotchmmer; 1951- 52-53, Kenneth Brandon, Lloyd: makins. The retiring president, Charles Scotchmer, extended his farewell as such,thanking all those who had supported him throughout the past year. He called on all the committee chairmen to given their final reports. The new press-• dent, J. Ernest Hovey, then took over, and a discussion took place' regarding the Lions Carnival this summer. Dr. 11, M. Aldis, Clinton, County M.O.,H., gave an illustrated talk on the work of Huron County Health Unit. He' was introduced. by Robert .Welsh, and was thank-- ed hank-ed by James Cameron: — Clinton News -Record, To The Editor Goderich, June 25, 1951. The Editor, '1 -he Huron Expositor: Dear Sir: The Huron County County Council has. by resolution at its last meeting undertaken to deal with the Canada Temperance Act, an Act which has been in force in Huron since 1913. As President' of Huron County Temperance Federation, the organ- ization which inaugurated the cam- paign to bring the C.T.A. into oper- ation, may I be allowed to state a few facts. The County Council had nothing to do with bringing this act into force, and: has no place in having it set aside. The procedure to bring the Act into force was in- itiated by the people and can only be set aside by the people Our temperance organization stands solidly behind the Act as the most satisfactory method avail- able of dealing with the traffic, When the Government makes a better law available, we will glad- ly recommend its adoption. For a number of years the C.T.A. and the Liquor Control Act of On- • tario were both enforced by our' Provincial Government, until 1947" when the Government amended' the C.T.A. by' adding a provision- which reads in part: "Section No. 165—None of the provisions of this Act shall apply in any area within the Province of Ontario in which'. the C.T.A. is in force." It should be remembered that the' Ontario Government is solely re- sponsible for enforcing the C.T.A.• in common with other Dominion laws. We do not claim that the results of this Act are perfect, but we do challenge any county councillor to, name any county in the Province' where conditions in this respect' are more satisfactory than in Hur- on. The success of any law depends' on its enforcement. The citizens of Huron County should set up in each municipality an organization for its enforcement. We need the support of every law-abiding citizen to stand behind this law to make) it effective. C. M. ROBERTSON, President Huron County Temperance Federation. A Smile or Two Club Bore: "Is the seat next to you reserved?" Member: "Yes. In fact, I am happy to say it hasn't said, a word since I've been here," • During the recent flu epidemic a banker was helping out a friend who operates a service station. His first customer .asked for 10 gallons of gasoline. "Where are you going?" inquir- ea the banker. The customer explained In de - tali. "Don't you think you could get along on five?" asked the banker. • The bride was ordering her first ton of coal. "What kind of coal do you want?'" asked the clerk. "Kind?" exclaimed the bride, puzzledt "Are there different kinds?" "Oh, yea," replied the clerk. "For instance, we have egg coal or chestunt coal." "I'll take the egg coal.," the bride promptly decided. "P11 be cooking eggs oftener than I will chestnuts." • The absent- minded profe9gor walked into the village barber shop;,,sat down in the operating chair and asked for a -haircut. "Certainly, sir," said the barber. "Would you mind taking off your hat?" The professor hurriedly com- plied. "I'm sorry," he apologized.. "but I didn't know that ladies were present." • "I baked a sponge cake for you. darling," said the young bride, puckering up for a kiss. "But it didn't turn out exactly right. I guess I must have rbought the wrong kind of sponges." • Trying to reach an engagement in a neighboring city by automo- bile, a man ran into a detour. Late that -night, completely lost, he stop- ped to inquire bhe way. When a woman opened the door, he asked: "Arn I headed in the right direc- tion for Centerville?" "Well, which way are you head- ed?" she questioned. Not sure of directions, he tried again. "I mean are my car lights pointing that way?" "Yea, sir," she said. Thanking her, he turned to leave when the 'GP6mtz1 added; "At leagt thht red. one Is." • • 4 A 1 5 1 r 1 4 1 a 1 ^s