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The Huron Expositor, 1942-12-25, Page 2NA 7.7 TA i ERJ 25,, 04 ' motor abliShed' 18 Q e a,ail McLean,. Editor. i4hed at Seaforth, Ontario, ev- sday afternoon by McLean yr ;5; I"! IAA S hScription rates, $1.50 a year in lvalt ce, foreign $2,50 a year. Single ogles, 4 cents each. F Advertising rats on application. ISEA.FORTH, Friday, December 25 Merry Christmas There are thousands of homes in Canada this year where Christmas will not be the same as in other years. Thousands of homes that will MISS one or more members who have never been absent before and, per- haps, thousands ` of homes :•that will never again have all their members present at Christmas time. But Christmas is more than just a joyous holiday season. It is the an- niversary of the birth of One who came to bring peace and good will to all men. For that reason this anniversary should never pass without recogni- tion and rejoicing. "Above a weary war-torn world There' rings at Christmas -tide, The Angel's song of Hope and Love, Of Peace that will abide. And in the darkness of the night A star comes shining through, To say our dream is not in vain, God's love will make it true." And so we say, "Merry Christmas!" And Now it's Butter Our tea, coffee, sugar, gasoline and tires have all been rationed. And Craw comes, butter. Unlike the for- mer products, butter is not a foreign commodity, that has to be brought into Canada, but is a home grown product, or at least, is manufactured out of home products. Consequently, there is no reason whatevei, why in an. agricultural +country like Canada, there should be a shortage of butter. Nor is there... As a matter of .fact; there is more butter in this country than the'_peo- ple . can possibly consume. The en - tire trouble or reported shortage has arisen through faulty distribution. In other words, there has been 111,(k, *ng of butter and the offenders are" of all wholesalers or retailers by any means. Figures-„givenout show that there 'were several million pounds ofbutter purchasedin the month of November than in the pre- vious month this year. Anticipating a shortage, people, particularly . in, cities and larger centres, have been purchasing ,butter far beyond their actual needs, and storing it away for future reeds. It is greed and self interest and nothing but that, that has created the present butter situation. But human nature is like that, and if it is left= unchecked, some one, and that one is always the poorer class, has to do without one of the necessities of life, unless the Rationing. Board steps in as the Rationing Board has already done. And, because too manypeople with money are greedy self-seekers, all the rest of the people : of Canada -will have to get along with half a pound of butter each per week, at least un- til: spring. It would not be a bad idea if the Government started out on a tour of. inspectionof ibs. own. It is astonish- ing what that tour of inspection would disclose:- There are” thousands of homes in Canada where 'there are bags of sugar, of tea and of . coffee, and pounds upon pounds of butter. Those , homes have no intention whatever of stinting themselves in thesie commodities, regardless of the needs of any one else. They look tip - On themselves as the provident ones. y..sotuld not other• people be as oi4 nt as they7 ere ale rseVeral reasons. One is y t f -people have not sre''ate many who are ',:ter ger eddy ,' in whom aki 'd esu ,ys t1� :n e:'pect t�$tlerS c a, But because there are n t quite en- ough of that class of people in Pan;- ada outside of . the hoarders thein - selves e-selvesall the rest, of the people are now on a ration ` of one-half pound of butter per week per person. • Churchill's Inspired Oratory After the fall of France two years ago, when Prime Minister Winston Churchill said the British people would fight on the beaches, in the fields, the streets, the houses, and in the hills, many looked upon the in- tensive effectiveness. of that passage in his speech as due to the Premier's command of oratory. That Mr. Churchill possesses a command of oratory none ,will dis- pute, but we have sometimes won- dered, and doubtless others have too, what inspired that oratory of his. In the British House of Commons a few clays ago, Mr. Churchill told part of the secret of his great art in his report to the members on the subject of British tanks. Today Britain has an abundant supply of tanks, equal or superior to any in the world. But when Mr. Churchill' made that great and' mov- ing speech two years ago, Britain had only one hundred tanks of a kind that had been found in France to be too small and weak to stand up to German gunfire. In other words, Mr. Churchill's great oratory was inspired by fear ful facts, and its effectiveness was' derived by voicing the naked and. terrible truth. It stated the plain in- tent*, that n- tent :that the people of Briain e,3c- pectto fulfill if they were invad- ed by the Germans—and that inva- sion threat was very real after the fall of France. - It remained for Mr. Churchill just to find .: the right words and to say them just as they 's'hould be said. That is what he did and has always been able to do. ' Interestin items picked fora The E:xpba for Offifty Asa twenty-lv'e years agb. 0 A `Boulder Dam' For Canada Addressing the annual luncheon of the Dominion: Commercial . Travel- lers' Association on December 12th, Hon. C. D. Howe, Dominion Minister of Munitions, disclosed some very interesting information. Canada, the Minister said, has un- dertaken somewhere in its vast wil- derness, a power project—which for war reasons must remain . nameless —which overshadows the great Boul- der Dam development in the United States. At Boulder Dam, the Minister said, the peak employment was 5,250 men, ;.whereas in Canada, the ..peak employment was 10,140 men. And further, Mr. Howe said, that the installed capacity of the Boulder Dam a year ago was 975,000 horse- power, whereas the installed capac- ity of our Canadian development will be 1,020,000 horsepower. Ontario Hydro power has •always been looked upon as one of the great electric'' developments -'of the world, and it is, -but when Canada's new mil- lion horsepower plant gets into pro- duction, Canada will really be going places as far as electric development is concerned. ' • • Same Here - An 'American newspaper the other day said: "Doutbless many a young lady will'hang up her rayons Christ- mas Eve, hoping to find Nylons in them next morning." ° Doubtless that will apply to many of our young Canadian ladies too, and we would say, with about the same prospect of having their ex- pectations ' or "' hope's realized on Christmas morning. - .0 The Small Town Band (Guelph Mercury) A number -of cities in Illinois propose holding a vote on the question of levying a tax not exceed- ing two mills for the purpose of establishing municipal bands. Several cities and towns already have voted on the question and for the most part have. taken favorable action- • Under the state law the tax must be levied if d majority of vot- ers at' any regular election favor the plan, Manifestly the scheme is 'primarily one that will appeal to small towns, but its educational re- sults justify favorable action in all communities where it is possdble.. The tax when 'levied may be applied to salaries of musicians, purchase of instruments, maintenance of a rehearsal hall, or pay"r�nent of instructors.. ' , Since most small town .bands' provide the only musical training, young people . can receive, the »ieasure is of direct educational impdrtance. To aonne extern it fishes tip . the lack of innate i to* s ho �'1 t training n, aiisodl d*n c bls, ,,nod at fie Same time preAdea: worthy cornniunrty exere1ae Which tends ter &Star .•oom;l ft ity* :co isejlousiiestl' sell k earl pr`1d8; mad l' oWe fait( Wight Worse tlen itetetsc01000 �':,ftid epaittty{{yy A APPAAsteePfosApypt From The Huron Expositor December 28, 1917 CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE Mrs. George mlthers, who was vis- Jerome stepped ,closer to Miss Mar- iting her daughters, Mrs. W. Oughton tha, and Dian couldn't help but see and Mrs, J J','1ielater, met with a ser- them, since the street light threw 'a ions, accident'on Sunday evening. As she was coming out of ISclater'a hawse sheslipped and fell, .fracturing her hip ,boner Mr. J: G. Gunn, who has been a member of the shell inspector's • staff at the Bell F.d►gine Works for some months, has returned to Toronto. Prior to his departure his fellow in- spectors presented him with a hand- some tie pin and a box of cigars. Mr. and Mrs. Edward McFaul spent Christmas with friends in St. Thomas. Miss Agnes Campbell and Miss Clara Mason spent Christmas with friends in Holmesville, Mr. P. Gardiner, of Walton, packed seventy-five tons of hay for ‘Mr. Jos. Johnston. The bay will be shipped from Walton. . Mr. J. M. MMillan, of the Bank of Commerce, spent the holiday in Buffa- lo: Lieut. Muir Thompson, Royal Flying Corps, son of Mr. and Mrs. T. R. Thompson, was home for Christmas on his last leave before going over- seas. Mrs. A. "V.tt'estcott• and two daughters of Halkirk, Alta., are visiting relatives here. Mrs..Meredith, of Wallaee'burg, is visiting at the home of her brother, Mr. James F. Reid. Mr. Andrew Dougall, son of Mr. Henry Dougall, of the London Road, recently had the misfortune to have his leg broken while engaged in trim - Ling a fallen tree, which had been 1lropped up in a certain position, and in touching it a heavy limb sprang out catching him in such a position that he could' not escape the blow which broke his leg. The following pupils stood first in their various classes in the Seaforth public school: Sr. IV, Mary Laing; Jr. IV, Arnold Turnbull; Sr. III, Lulu Marriott; Jr., Class; Fred Jackson; Jr. ITT, Arthur Beattie; Sr. II, Margaret Case; Room IV, Class A, Jean Brodie; Class B, Carl Ament; Sr. I, Margaret Thompson; Jr. I, Edward Rankin; Jr. I, Class B, Mary Hays; Sr. Primary Class, Ruby Storey; Jr. PrimaryClass, Carmen Naylor; Class A, Audrey Somers. The..,following is the report of S. S. No. 2, Tuckersmith, for 'the months of November and December, with names in order of merit: Sr. IV, Ross Chap- man, Grace McGregor, Willie Kyle; Webster McNaughton; Sr.- III, Bob McNaughton, Leona Cadieux, Olive Cooper, Mary McDonald, John Sin- clair, Willie McLean; Jr. III, Dora Dalrymple, Rosa McLean, John Doig, Willie Bell, ,Enserson.• Kyle, Fern Mc- Lean. Jr. II, Clarence 'McLean, Lyla Chapman, Margaret Elgin, 'Grace Cooper, Tena McNaughton, Bob Mc- Gregor.—fpm, G. Strong; Teacher, bar of silver across the porch -floor.' "AnywayiMartha, I saw you in a new' light .tonght." "What on earth are you driving at, Jerome?" "I mean, I saw that you're orna- mental." "Me? At my age!" "Age has nothing to do with it. Be- sides, I'm far from young myself. I reckon maybe I am a bit too old for Dian." "Shucks! A -girl like Dian needs an older man to look after her." ' - "How a'bput you?" said Jerome soft- ly. "Don't you need someone to look after you?" "Fiddlesticks! I've been looking af- ter myself' all this time, so .I reckon can go on,". "Maybe," said Jerome, Then • he pulled Miss Martha toward him and kissed her. "Well!" Miss Martha said explo- sively. "'Well, of all things!" "Don't be mad, Martha," said Jer- ome, his voice shaking. "I—I—could- n't help it." "Now' I know you're raving, -stalk crazy!" Miss Martha said. Jerome looked at ,her for a mom:. ent, and then he walked down the steps. "Good night," he called back.. "I:ve certainly got a lot of thinking to do —after that kiss." "Well — I never!" said Miss 'Mar- tha. She turned quickly, found her latchkey, unlocked• the door and went. on into the house. Dian did not 'move. She sat. there in the porch `swing feeling a bit stun- ned. It took her some little time to get hold of herself.' When she did, she smiled somewhat wryly, and thought: "I lost Fred, and now darn- ed if it doesn't look like I've lost Jer- ome." She also found her latch key, unlocked the door and went into the house. Quietly, stealthily. She' didn't want her Aunt Martha to hear her. She wanted to get to her room and into bed. She couldn't bear the idea of having to talk to anyone. On Saturday morning Dian opened her eyes to behold perfect day—a day that was all green and silver be• n'eath a cloudless dome of soft blue. And she was strangely disappointed.' She had gone to bed the night before, after an entire day at the farm, ac- tually hoping that Saturday would be a -day of rain and general disagree- ableness. But it wasn't Lite that at all. It was a day especially mane for picnics—and the birds were sing- ing away as though•• there wasn't a thing wrong in the whole sside world. And maybe they were right. Maybe She was the only thing that was Wrong. She turned away from the window where she had gone to have a look at the weather,• and found herself v,-ishing that even now something would happen to make the picnic an impossibility. She dreaded it ' with every fibre of her being. She was utterly fed up with being one of Claire Lester's foursome. But nothing did happen, and by the time she had showered, dressed . and had her breakfast, she knew that she would have to go through wish it: Be- sides, Claire was counting. on Betsy to take them out to the lake, since. Betsy was a roomy old car, and per- mitted the carrying of such things as picnic • hampers, bathing parapher- nalia, a bag of charcoal for broiling out-of-doors, and the making of cof- fee—also blankets to spread out up- on the narrow strip of beach. • "We'll have the 'boys row• us out to the little island in the middle of the lake," Claire had said the evening be- fore, when telephoning to discuss fin- al plans. "It'll be fun pretending we've been cast ashore fro a wreck- ed ship." "Yes, heaps of fun," said Dian with- out enthusiasm. "I suppose the is- land will be the setting for your final test—the last act, so to speak, 'of the comedy drama you'ye been. playing." "Perhaps,". said Claire. "Blt 1 you needn't take that tone. What's the matter with you anyway, Dian?"' "Nothing at all. Why?" "You "sound as though you'd sour- ed on the whole world." "Goodness! What a thing to say! I'm just tired, that's all. I spenthours looking over books out at the farm—. and what I need's a good night's rest." "Well, 1 certainly -hope you get it," said Claire, none too pleasantly. "A picnic's. no place for a grouch. Whet time willyou stop to pick me up?" "Around nine -thirty. I'll stop at the inn first and get Bill and Paul. That all right with you?" "Yes—only don't be here before nine -thirty:" And now it was morning—the day of the picnic—and Dian was loading her stuff into the car. 'A cat rubbed against her ankles now and then, and a perky little .hen kept begging for something to eat. • From The Huron Expositor December 30, 1892 ' Miss Maggie Jackson, of Clinton, has been appointed organist for the Presbyterian Church in that town, a position' for which she is well quali- fied. Mr. W. Maines,• Sr., of Zurich, has resigned his' position on the big swamp ditch, and has secured 'a sit- uation in connection with the Ontaro police force at Niagara Falls. A maple tree on the farm of Mr. Thos. Dennison, Morris Twp., 'and re- cently -sawed up, turned out 15 cords of wood. Mr. Fred Clarkson, eldest son of Mr. M. C. Clarkson, head master of the Seaforth Collegiate, has been en- gaged as teacher of the school in S. S. No 7, Morris, for next year at a salary of $390. ,Master Harry Scott, son of Dr. Scott, has the neatest and nobbiest rig in this part of the country. It con- sists of a pair of matched ponies and cutter and 'ro'bes . to match. - The following men of this town came home to 'spend, Christmas under the parental roof: George Anderson, William- McDonald, William and Geo. -Bethune, John Campbell, Allan S. Mc- Lean and Wm. McLeod, of McKillop. Messrs. McMordie and Cooper, Jr., second year students of the Ontario Agricultural College, Guelph, are home for vacation. - Mr. W. Sinclair, Chiselhurst, spent Christmas with his parents down at Whitby, it being the 60th anniversary of their wedding, Mr. C. B. Latta, who has taught successfully in' S. S. No. 7, Stanley, for the past two years, has resigned his position to further his studies at Goderieh Collegiate Institute. Mr. Appleton Elccoat, of the west end, Tuckersmith; has bought of Mr. James Smith, of Maple 'Lodge, Mc- Gillivrary, a red bull calf of the Cruik- shank breed, 13 months old, for a sum in the neighborhood. of $150. Miss M. J. Scott, Cromarty, who is teaching 'in McKillop, is home for her holidays, She was ad'companied: by Miss Cuthill of Winthrop. • Miss Bella Park, of Logan, and Mr. games Purdon.; of Usborne, are .spend- ing their holidays with relatives in Cromarty, The cantata, "A Jolly Christmas," was given by the scholars of St. Thomas' Church Sabbath school under the direction of Mr. T. O. Kemp, in 'Cardno's Hall on Friday evening last, and was admirably rendered. The nominations for 1893 are as follows-: .Mayor, 1y, D. Wilson; reeve, M'. Ii. McLean; c'oiittcillors for- east ward, R. (lolerrtan, d'bhn Darwin, M. Robertson, John Ward, George Good, John Turner, A 3. ' Bright and P. Keating. North rel taines Beattie, B. 11. Gunn, Sosiah,Tydiauatl, i'olin. A. i iklaron, 'Germ. ea ttpbeii antt',11, .VMS, Sotitli Ward, Miles 41116lip1e, Joliet i o 'an 1�1y i• rg JthY1od. y t , r�l e , " *Wet r L*1 e t Seetr y a o and ' { 11Ri4lr i . , , along." "I wish you were,"' said Dian. "I'd urge YOU to do so, only I'M afraid it would mess up Claire's plans." "Whait sort of plans?" "Oh,: today she pulls her big scene," said Dian. "Today she makes her great test; a test which will result in a marriage. Paul or Bill — that's the issue, you know." That girl! Miss Martha watched Dian in silence for a time. And then she said, "Why don't you buck up and take one of those men away from her?" "Good heavens, Aunt Martha!" Di- an said, looking up from stuffing the bag of charcoal into the back' of the car. "What dq you want me to do— break Jerome's heart?" "What's Jerome's heart got, to Bio with it?" Miss Martha demanded. "You ask me that—after all -the urging you've done to get me to mar- ry him!" Aunt Martha looked uncomfortable and Dian didn't miss a.thing. "I've been thinking quite a lot in the past day or so," Miss Martha, said. "You have? What about?" "About you and Jerome." "Well, that's nothing new. You've been thinking about Jerome and me for years." Dian tossed her a piece of„toast upon which she had been nibbling. "Now,” she said, "go lay an egg!" Miss Martha came out. Dian watched her cross the yard, and won- dered -if she imagined that her aunt walkedwith a new sprightliness. Any- way, she certainly looked sort of dif- ferent. Could Jerome's quick and awkwardly delivered kiss be respon- sible? She was on the verge 'of say- :rig aying something about the scene she had witnessed the night .before, and then remembered that Aunt Martha 'didn't know there had been a witness. No need to embarrass her. Better forget the Matter altogether. 'But just the sante* Aunt Martha did waltz d:f- ferentiy. There, wa no doubt about it, nos+ that the older woi>'ran had dra'v'a nearer;, She Was ,.positively' cel ky. P`Yott couldn't have a better day i:.piniekl �," '.Niss ,Martba sztd , Se aed rather dreainity lip to the alMe t wl tr I. W"ere.' oitt "What I mean is that .after see- ing how much fun you are having with two younger men, I—well—may be I was wrong." - "Wrong about what, Aunt Martha?" "About you and Jerome. • Jerome is quite a bit older than you are, and—" • "Oh, but that doesn't matter!" Di- an exclaimed out of sheer perversity: "Lots of girls my . age marry older men. Anyway, I did a -lot of thinking yesterday when I was alone en the farm. And I've decided maybe I should go, on and marry Jerome and get it over with. I .even drove out past' his house on the way home— just to have another look at it. It is a beauty, Aunt Martha. •- were on their way out to get Claire, he said, "Did you bud any worthwhile books yesterday?" • Qid set of J. Fenimore Cooper,' said Dian. "Only I''m afraid' it won't: bring much, sincethere's' no great de, nand for the geI414!man." . She 10,04.1 ed straight ahead and said, "My'We- man's intuition kept telling, mo that ydidncu'd't come out to' the farm ---but you. " "My car's still out of commission,' said Bill. "And it'stoo far to walk." `So I suppose you sat around the inn all day. Or .did you make a side of a triangle?" "I made a side of a triangle, as you put it," Bill said. "Myintuition is working, after said Dian. "After yesterday—I won- dered." "Paul wanted to take Claire out to, . call on. some cousins," Bill continued,. "and Claire suggested that I go along to see some types."... "'Suggested' or `insisted'?" said Di- an. Don't bother to reply," she quick- ly added. "Well, did you see some `types'?" Yes, as a matter of fact, I did." "How nice!" "I sketched as old darky, who ,1Qok- ed: ,as .though he'd stepped,' straight. :from the pages of `Uncle Tone's Cab -- "Don't you • know that book's a for- bidden subject down here?" Dian. said. - "No—I didn't." "Well .it is—a book full of lies writ- ten by a Yankee female who used her outrageous emotions instead of her brain; or maybe she didn't have a brain. Come to think about it, that's: probably where the trouble lay." 'Boy„' Bill laughed. "You can be a little rebel when 'you get started."' Then, more seriously, "Can't you folk'. down here ever forget the Civil war?'„ Just because you were licked, doesn't, mean that—" "We weren't .licked," said Dian_ "We were outnumbered by a lot of foreigners whom the Yankees hired to -come and fight us at so much per day—Yankees who were afraid to come and fight us themselves:" Paul spoke •up then. "You'd better withdraw right now, Bill," he said. ''Dian'll leave nothing of you but a greasespof if you keep up the• verbal battle." • "I was only kidding, really," said Bill. He laid his hand over Dian's where it ,rested upon the steering wheel, "Between you and me and the gate -post, Dian, I've always been a rebel at heart—" "Really?" said Dian. "Or just trying to be polite?" "I mean it," said Bili. "My mater- nal -grandparents were natives of Texas." Dian smiled. "Then that makes us brothers under . the skin, or some- thing," she said. And then she thought, "Will you stop saying ° and doing things to make me like you more and more!" She .steered the car into the street upon which Claire• lived, and hoped, she would manage.., to get through the day somehow. "There's Claire now, •••waving to us!"' she said. "Gosh!" said Paul, "she looks swell! She's one girl who can wear' slacks and not look silly." "Cut,',' said Dian. But she could. not help but think how completely im- practical sharkskin sleeks were for picnicking—especially, in such a prim- itive setting as the little island in the middle of a lake.' "I think," she- added, "I'll get some slacks." "Don't," said Bill. . "Why not? Do you think .I would' look silly in them?" "No. Only 1 like you better this gingham thing you're 'wearing.' "Gingham thing, indeed!" said Di -- an.. "I'l1 have you know this dress; came from Ardendale's leading shag, It may be gingham, my dear young man—but according to fashion notes•, even Park Avenue debs are going in for 'things' like this." Bill grinned. "It would seem," he said, "that every time I • open .my mouth, I put my foot in it." "Then don't open your mouth so much!" said Dian=feeling cross for some unexplainable reason. "You boys come help me with this hamper and the other stuff," Claire called; --the moment the car came to a stop:, Bill and Paur got out immediately. "Good Lord, Claire!" Paul exclaim- ed. "Who do you think you are, Mr. Hoover!" - "Don't be funny," )said• Claire. "It's, too early in the morning-" (Continued Next 'Week) CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX Miss Martha smiled when Dian re- marked that Jerome's house was :n beauty. "Yes, it is," she said softly. "And what wonderful things a wo- -man's hand could do to it." She caught herself. "Well, have a good time, my dear," she said. "And don't stay in the water too long." "Y es'gn," said Dian, as she had done when- s•he was a little girl. 'But she thought, ."Sometimes I feel like div- ing under the water'three times and coming up twice." "And be careful of that bowl of pot- ato salad .I made,", Miss Martha cau- tioned. "Keep it topside up." "Yes'm!" Dian caught her aunt to her, gave her a hug, and thea drove off. Then—more sheer' perversity— she called back. "If you see. Jerome today," she said, "you might "drop a hint that I'm beginning to melt." "Oh!" said Aunt Martha. Just that and nothing more. But the look on her. face! Bill and Paul' were waiting out in front of the inn when Dian drove up a short time later. They looked mar- velous, Dian .thought. Like two young men illustrating what .the correctly attired young man will wear this year when he goes picnicking! Flannel slacks, sport shoes and jackets that made their shoulders look broader and their hips narrower. They were .carrying their bathing things on their arms and also had some boxes. "What's in' those?" Dian asked. "Candy -fruit," said Bill. "Paul and I thought -we ought to contribute something to the feast." • • "Right!" said Paul. "We've 'also got some wienies. I thought it would be fun roasting them over a ,fire." "Fine!" said Dian. "I adore wein- ies! Only- Claire's not going to like it." "Why not?" Paul asked, his face failing. , "Don't forget ,d that her mother's supplying a mess o' fried chicken, and she's famed all over Arden -coun- ty for her ability as a chicken fryer." "Oh, that!" said Paul. He laugh; ed. "Don't worry. , The 'way I feel now, I can do justice to chicken as well as hot dogs." "So can 1," said Bill. "And," said Dian, "I thought men in love lost their appetites." "Tommyrot!" •said Paul. He got in- to the back seat of" the car. "Yon ride with Dian, Bill," he said. "She'll point out the sights to you." "Thanks, said Bill, "Nothing would please me more." And when they are you :JUST A SMILE OR TWO • Teacher: "Why are wars objec- tionable?" -Pupil: "Because they make bis - tory." • Showman: "This armleae man cafe pick up a needle with hires:" Frank: "That's noth!ng. I've of- ten picked up carpet tacks with my heels,'a George: "Why, I pick up five nails every time I lift my, foot." • A man entered the out-patients de- partment of a hospital. His head was enveloped in-- bandages. , "Are you married?" asked the doc- tor. "No," replied the man. "I've been run over,"- . •' "Bring inthe oysters I, told you to y, 15pen, saidthe head et the house - 'hold, growing impatient, ''There they- are," replied the new' braid, proudly, "It tddlt the a: lois tirol.t6 dean theill, , hilt, Iia dal 1t atint Wyy4' t LVVtit yyttiyeli `f� 4 .0 "What did you drive at fifty miles. an hour for?" demanded the cop. The .fair motorist smiled sweetly., "Oh, my brakes were not working' right," ,she replied, "so I was• -hurry- ing home to avoid an accident!" • When the congregation knelt to' pray the little fellow on his ,first at- tendance in the church asked: "W'hat. are ail the people doing, -mummy?" She answered, "Shush! " They're saying their prayers." "What," exclaimed the nipper, in- - creduloualy, "with all their clothes on?" • Householder: "Look here, m y than, Win you please inform me 'why you've conie- begging at my door again? Why don't you try some o1 the other ;Motile in the street?" Pratnp; - "1 can't, Doctor's orders,. ' lIoireh elder: "Doctor's orders?” ?" riatnp 9�es, norm. The doctor - told ant.' octortol$.quo' that ti�h0n Ii'otind Yood.tat egi'eed . nth hole I elkdllild. ciintiritte tP`#li it s► „ r • • • • .r 'h 'o 4f n1