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Home My WebLink AboutThe Huron Expositor, 1923-06-01, Page 71,1023. e. • J 77; New lhacooeryl Beautifies your hair • Removes dandruff Stops falling hair Grows Hair ask Por -•-- 7 Sutherland Sisters' COMPLETE TREATMENT Fi rtilizer--Grower—Shampoo All 3 in one package -01.00 FOR PEOPLE WHO CARE to keep up their appgrreaae, am= a(IrH- ER4AND SISTERS' OOLORATORS transform their heir to anp Shade d ed. A simple home treetatent. Ifarrnleu, pensive, durable. Ask to ere acrd showing eight different ebrda. E, UMBACH; Druggist, Seafortlt. • 0DOUC:-As' EGYPTIAN LINIMENT THE FARMER'S FRIEND Relieves caked bag, gar - get, spider or infection of the teat, alsb thrush in horses' .feet, fistula, - etc. Stops bleeding at once. Removes proud flesh, soreness and swell- ing. At MI Dealers and Druggists. Manufactured 0nb br DOUGLAS L CO.. NAPANEE, Oat Rae Gnat tlaaa/taa areeerreed provided pleasant "iiiUoa los Ayepr teeth, tills penetrattag the crevices saki cleansing them. - Epee. too* it aids diteilfoa. Use WRIGLEY'S atter eery meal see bow mach better you will feel. once of Wan A1gUr ,s.' 'r r o As .1 calve up, heard one of the' • Astrangers say to the other: ° "Well, if yop don't want it, Ill take • it. My Wife days it can barnacle in- to a writing desk with .a little—," 1 g 1u9m+•ra6tna}1 tr Fool '.[And id beg your paagentlemen;" �/ ;. • said I conxronting them.'"Will you" key* J�► ' o he good enough to explain this in- Iii Nvey* ', 1 • trusion?" 12 Ir -o 3'hey stared at me as if I were..a Son� s avant asking for higher wages. • The speaker, a fat man with a bristly cusingly. moustache and a red necktie, drew "Certainly," she cried. "The Teu- Elmself up haughtily. tons ceded Alsace-Lorraine to—" "Who the devil are you?" he de- "Pardon me onee more," I cried, By \ • mended, fixing me with a glare. and this time I plead g ty to a blush GEORGE BAR McCUTCHEON I knew. at, once that he was the "you are thinking of tis other treaty o kind of an Amer] an I have come to —the one at Metz, Mise Riley -Werk - Dodd, Mead & Company. • 1 hate with a, zest that knows no mod- !`inter. This, as -you 'will recall, ante- eration; the kind ,that makes one a- dates that one by eh, several years. shamed of the national melting pot. "Thank you," she said, quite con- i glared back at him. deseendingly. "I was confused for a I happen to be the owner of this moment. Of course, Father, I can't place, and you'll oblige me by clear- say that it was signed here or on this ing out." table as the young mdn.says. 1 only "What's that? Here, here, none know that there was a treaty. I do of that sort of talk, my friend. We're wish you'd come and see the flre- here to look over your stuff, and we screen. I've found—" mitran business, but yy�qQu won't get "Let's get this out of our system e began rummaging in the huge)' ywhere by talking h-lfe—" first," said her father. "If you can cl hespress, all the while regalipg I "There is nothing for sale here," chow me statistics , and the proper -m yflth,- news from the regions/be- I said shortly. "And you've got a proof that this is the genuine table, low. I lot of nerve to come bolting into a young man, I'll—" "Mr. Poopdtrdyke has gontdup to private house—" "Pray rest easy, sir," I said. "We his room, sir, with--hts - typewriter. "Say," said the second man, ad- can take it up later on. The facts vancing with a most insulting scowl, are—" "we'll understand each other right "And this Pontius Pilate seat," in - off the' reel, my friend. All you've terrupted Roeksworth biting off the got to do is to answer us when we end of a fresh cigar. "lArbat about ask for prices. Now, bear that • in it? Got a match?" mind, and don't try any of your high- I "Get the gentleman a match, Brit- 1 nd-mighty tactics on us." ton," I said, thereby giving my valet net remember that you're a junk- an opportunity to do his exploding dealer'end we'll get along splendidly," in the pantry. "I can orly affirm, said the other, in a tone meant to ! sir, that it is common history that crush me. "What do you ask for this . Pontius Pilate spent 'a _portion of his exile here in the sixth century. It is reasonable to assume that he sat in this seat, being an old man unused to difficult stairways. He—" (Continued from last week.) His face fell. '"Being , pressed, sir, God forgive mel" "Get out another pair, confound you, $llitton. What are we coming to?" The young lady Insisted on having it. She squealed with joy at seeing an antique typewriter and he— e had to inn away with it, 'pon my '.our he did, sir." I couldn't help laughing. "And your golf clubs, Mr. Smar The young gentleman of the party is perfectly carried away with them. He says they're the real thing, the genuine sixteenth century article. They are a bit rusted, you'll remem- ber. I left him out in the courtyard trying your brassie and mid -iron, sir, endeavouring to lift potatoes over the south wall. I succeeded in hiding the balls, sir. Just as I start- ed upstairs I heard one of the new window panes in the banquet hall smash, sir, so I take it he must have sliced his drive a bit" "Who let these people in?" I de- manded in smothered tones from the depths of a sweater I was getting into in order to gain time by omit- ting a collar. "They came in with the plumbers, sir, at half -past eight. Old man Schmick tried to keep them out, bat they said they didn't understand German and walked right by, leav- ing their donkeys in the roadway ' outside." "Couldn't Rudolph .and Max stop them?" I cried, as my head emerg- ed. "They were still in bed, sir. I think they're at breakfast now." "good lord!" I groaned, looping at my watch. "Nine -thirty. What sort of a rest cure am I conducting here!" We hurried 'downstairs so fast that I lost one of my bedroom slippers. It went clattering on ahead of us, mak- ing a shameful racket on the hare atones, but Britton caught it up in time to save it from the clutches of the curio -vandals. My workmen were lolling.abont the place, smoking vile pipes and talking in guttural whispers. All operations appeared to have ceased in my establishment at the command of, the far frolic idle rich. Two portly gentlemen in fed- cras were standing in the middle of the great hall, discussing the merits of a dingy old spinet that had been carried out of the music room by two lusty porters from the hotel. From somewhere in the direction of the room where the porcelains and earth- enware were stored came the shrill, excited voices of women. The aged Schmicks were sitting side by side on a window ledge, with the rigid retic - Internal and External Pains are promptly relieved by De THOMAS' ECLECTRIC OIL THAT IT HAS BEEN SOLD FOR NEARLY FIFTY YEARS AND 1S TO -DAY A GREATER SELLERTHAN EVER BEFORE 18 NUMEROUS CURATIVE DUAT LITIES. SPEAKS -FOR 1T8 • 1 l OOFS Save Time, Labor and Nails Bird's Neponset Twin Shingles and Bird's C ana- diaII Twin Shingles really two shingles in one. picked They are Basil up easily They are self -spacing. and laid with one hand. TWO shingles are laid at dile operation. One-third less nails. Bird's Neponset Twin Shingles, 20 in. x 123/4 in., and Bird's Canadian Twin Shingles, 20 in. x 10 in., are impregnated with asphalt and surfaced with elate. Colors—natural slate -red and slate - green. Bird's Neponset Twin Shingles combine every- thing you want and need in a shingle—handsome appearance, lasting wear, fire -safety and economy. Come in and let us estimate the cost of re -roofing your home with these artistic shingles. 665 Made by BIRD & BON, LIMITED, Hamilton, Ontario, Sold in Seaforth by G. A. Sills and Sons Q *o3j etbla trailaera a$, these clubs are the real ,S all rrigtlt, all right. 'Metre an brit, as glass: See what I did to tem, can have 'em spliced and rewound and I'll hang 'em on nay Wall. Ml I want is the heads anyhow." He held up to view a headless mid,. iron and brassie, and triumphantly waved a splendid sleek. My favorite clubs! I could play better from & hanging lie with that beautiful bras- sie than with any club I ever owned and as for the iron, I was deadly with it.. He lit a cigarette and threw the match into a pile of shavings. Old Conrad returned to life at that instant and stamped out the incipient bla$ze.. "I shouldn't consider thing tery good clubs, Harold, if they break' off like that," said his mother, "What do you knoly about clubs?" he snapped and I at once knew what clasd' he was in at the preparatory school. If I was ever like one of these, said I to myself, God rest the sage soul of my Uncle Riles! 1 The situation was no longer hum- orous. I could put up with anything r but the mishandling of my devoted golf clubs. Striding up to him, I snatched the remnants from his hands. "You infernal cub!" I roared. •'Hav'en't you any more sense than to smash a golf club like that? For two cents I'd break this putter over your head." "Father!" he yelled indignantly. 'Who is this mucker?" Mr. Rocksworth bounced toward mc, his cane raised. I whirled upon him. "How dare you!" he shouted. The ladies squealed. If he expected me to cringe, he was mightily mistaken. My blood oat. up- I advanced. "Paste him, Dad!" roared Harold. But Mr. Rocksworth suddenly alt- ered his course and put the historic treaty table between him and me. He didn't like the appearance of my rather brawny fiat. "Yon big stiff!" shouted Harold. Afterwards it occurred to me that this inelegant appellation may have been meant for his father, but at the time I took it to be aimed at me. Before Harold quite knew what was happening to him, he was prancing down the, long hall with my bony fingers grasping his collar. Coaling to the door opening into the outer vestibule, I drew back my foot for a final aid to locomotion. Acutely re- ealling the fact that slippers are not designed for kicking purposes, I raised my foot, removed the slipper and laid it upon a taut section of his trousers with all of the melancholy force that I usually exert in slicing my drive off the tee. I shall never forget the exquisite spasm of plea- sure his plaintive "Ouch!" gave me. Then Harold passed swiftly out of my life. Mr. Rocksworth, reinforced by four reluctant mercenaries in the shape of putters, was advancing upon me. Somehow I had a vague, but unerring instinct that some one had fainted, but I didn't stop to inquire. Without much ado, I wrested the cane from him and sent it scuttling after Har- old. "Now; get out!" I roared. "You shall pay for this!" he sput- tered, quite black in the face. "Grab him, you infernal cowards!" But the four porters slunk away, and Mr. Rocksworth faced me alone. Rudolph and Max, thoroughly fed and most prodigious, were bearing down upon us, accounting for the flight of the mercenaries. "Get out!" I repeated. "I am the owner of this place, Mr. Rocksworth, and I am mad through and through. Skip!" "I'11 have the law—" "Law be hanged!" "If it costs me a million, I'll get—" "It will cost you a million if you don't get!" I advised him, seeing that he paused for want of breath. , I left hint standing there, but had the presence of mind to wave my huge henchmen away. Mr. Riley- Werkheimer approached, but very pacifically. He was paler than he will ever be again in his life, I fear. "This is most distressing, most distressing, Mr.—Mr.— ahem! I've never been so outraged in my life. I— but, wait!" He had caught the snap in my atavistic eye. "1 am not seeking trouble. We will go, sir. I —I—I think my wife has quite re- covered. Are—are you all right, my clear?" I stood aside and let them file past me. Mrs. Riley-Werkheimer moved very nimbly for one who had just been revived by smelling -salts. As her husband went by, he half halted in front of me. A curious glitter leaped into his fishy eyes. "I'd give a thousand dollars to be free to do what you tlid to that in- sufferable puppy, Mr.—Mr.—ahem. .A cool thousand, damn him!" I had my coffee upstairs, far re- moved from the onions. A racking headache set in. Never again will I go without my coffee so long. It al - wags gives me a headache. thing?" tapping the dusty spinet with his walking -stick. It suddenly occurred to me that the situation was humorous. "You will have to produce your "Buy it, Orson," said his wife, with references, gentlemen, before I can authority. "We'll take a chance on discuss anything with you," I said, it. If it isn't the right thing, we after swallowing very hard. (It can sell it to the second-dand dealers. must have been my pride.) i What's the price?" They stared. "Good Lord." gasp- "A thousand dollars to you, mad - ed the bristly one, blinking his eyes. am," said I. "Ddn't you know who this gentleman • They were at once suspicious. While is? You—you appear to be an Am- they were busily engaged in looking erican. You must know Mr. Riley- _ the seat over as the porters shifted Werkheimer of New York." it about at all angles, /••stepped over "I regret to say that -I have never and ordered my workmen to ream(' heard of Mr. Riley-Werkheimer. I " theeir operations. I Was beginning did not know that Mrs. Riley -Werk- I to get sour and angry.iagain, having helmet's husband was living. And I missed my coffee. From the can - may I ask who you are?" . ary regions there ascended a moat "Ph; I am- also a nobody," said be I horrific odour of fried- onions. If with a wink at his purple -jowled con- I there is one thing I really resent it is panion. "I am only poor old Rocks- a fried onion. worth, the president of the—" ( I do not know why I should have "Oh, don't say anything more, Mr. felt the way I did about it on this oe- Roeksworth," I cried. "I have heard cation, but I am mean .enough now of you. This fine old spinet? Well, to confess that I hailed the triumphal it has been reduced in price. Ten entry of tht pernicious odour with e thousand dollars, Mr. Rocksworth," meanness of spirit that leaves noth- "Ten thousand nothing! I'll take ing to be explained. it at seventy:five dollars. And now "Good gracious!" gasped the aris- let's talk about this here hall -seat. tocratic Mrs. Riley-Werkheimer, hold - My wife thinks it's a fake. What is ing her nose. "Do yon' smell that?" its history, and what sort of guaran- 1 "Onions! My Gawd!" sniffed tee can yon—" ' Maude. "How I hate 'em!" "A fakel" I cried in dismay. "My Mr. Rocksworth forgot his dignity. dear Mr. Rocksworth, that is the very "Hate 'em?" he cried, his eyes roll. hall -seat that Pontius Pilate sat in ing: "I just love 'em!". when waiting for an audience with • "Orson!" said his wife,. transfixing the first of the great Teutonic ban- him with a glare. "What -.will people ons. The treaty between the Ito- ' think of you?" mans and the Teutons was signed on 5 "I like 'em, too," admitted Mr. that table over there,—the one you Riley-Werkheimer, perceiving at once have so judiciously selected, I per- ; whom she meant by "people." He ceive. Of course, you know that this puffed out his chest. was the Saxpn seat of government. At that instant the carpenters, Charlemagne lived here with all his ' plumbers and stone masons resumed court." their infernal racket, while scrub - They, tried not to look impressed, • wcmen, polishers and painters began but rather overdid it. I to move intimately among us. "That's the sort of a story you "Here!" roared Mr. Rocksworth• fellows always put up, you skinflints "Stop this beastly noise! What the from Boston. I'll bet my head you duce do you mean, sir, permitting are' from Boston," said Mr. Rocks- these scoundrels to raise the dead like worth shrewdly. I this? Confound 'em, I stopped thein "I couldn't afford to have you lose once. Here! You! Let up on that, your head, Mr. Rocksworth, so 1 will you?" shan't take you on," said I, merrily. I moved forward apologetically. "I "Don't get fresh, now," said he, am afraid it is not onions you smell, stiffly. ladies and gentlemen." I had taken Mr. Riley-Werkheimer walked past ray cue with surprising quickness. me to take a closer look at the seat, "They are raising the dead. The almost treading on my toes rather place is fairly alive with dead rats than to give an inch to me. and—" "How can you prove that it's the 1 "Good Lord!" gasped Riley-Werk- gcnuine article?" he demanded curt- heimer. "We'll get the bubonic ly i plague here." "You have my word for it„ sir," I "Oh, I know onions," said Rocks - said quietly. "Pish tush!" said he. I worth calmly. "Can't fool me on onions. They are onions, ain't they Mr. Rocksworth turned in the direr- Carrie?" tior. of the banquet hall. "Carrie!" he shouted. "Come here a minute, will you?" is an outrag—ea stint. I should "Don't shout like that, Orson," came think the owner would turn over in back from the porcelain closet. ''-You almost Made me drop this thing." his grave." "Well, drop it and come on. This 1 'Unhappily I am the owner, ma - is important. dam," said I, slyly working my foot I wiped the moisture from my brow . back into an elusive slipper. and respectfully put my clenched fists I "You ought to be ashamed of your - into my pockets. I self," she said, eyeing me coldly with A minute later, three females ap- ; a hitherto unexposed i quite. geared on the scene, all of them dust- ' "I am," said I. "You quite took me ing their hands and curling their by surprise. I should hove made my - noses in disgust. 1 self more presentable if I had known "I never saw such a dirty place." "Well lets move on upstairs," said said the foremost, a large lady who I,Rocksworth. Addressing the porters, couldn't, by any circumstance of fate, he salt! "You fellows get this lot of have been anybody's wife hut Rock- stuff together and I'll take an option sworth's. "It's filthy! What do you on it. I'll be over to -morrow to close want?" I the deal, Mr—Mr.— Now, where is I've bought this thing here for the old Florentine mirror the Count "They are!" said she. "What a old to have this wonderful o d castle actually devastated by workmen! It seventy-five. You said I couldn't get it for a nickle under a thousand. And say, this man tells me the hall seat here belonged to Pontius Pilate in T interrupted, ' "1 "Pardon me,"up merely said that he sat in it. T am not tryingto deceive you, sir." "And the treaty was signed on this table," said Mr. Riley-Werkheimer. He addressed himself to a plump young lady with a distorted bust and a twenty-two inch waist. "Maude, what do you know about the Roman - Teutonic treaty? We'll catch you now, my friend," he went on, turning to me. "My daughter is up in ancient history. She's an authority." Miss Maude appeared to be racking her brain. I undertook to assist her. 9 mean the second treaty, after the fall of Nuremburg," I explained. "Oh," she said. instantly relieved. "Was it really signed here, right here -tit this hall? Oh, Father! We must have that table." "Yon are sure there was a treaty, Maude?" demanded her parent ac - was telling us about?" "The Count'?" said 1. frowning. "Yes, the real owner. You can't stuff me with your talk about being the proprietor here, my friend. You see, we happen to know\the Count." They all condescended tola ugh at me. I don't know what I should have said or done if Britton bad not re- turned with a box of matches at that instant—sulphur matches which add- ed subtly to the growing illusion. Almost simultaneously there ap- peared in the lower hall a lanky youth of eighteen. He was a loud -voiced, imperious sort of chap with at least Renu for free boon Mier g of tTren h e world-famous prep- ara,.lonfor Epilepsy end Fits—simple home treatment. Over 90 year., moms, 'fe,Un,nniala horn an porta 00 the world; mar 1)0001n onerat. Write of once to TRENCH'S REMEDIES LIMITED 88117 st...1arov Chamber, 79 AdolaldeSt.L Toronto. Ontario ,, 0 CHAPTER III I Converse With A Mystery. Tate in the afternoon, I opened my door, hoping that the banging of hammers and the buzz of industry would have ceased, but alas! the noise evenmore deafeningthan be - was be- fore. I was still in a state of nerves over the events of the morning. There had been a most distressing lack of poise on my part, and I couldn't help feeling after it was all over that my sense of humour had received a shock from which it was not likely to re- cover in a long time. There was but tittle consolation in the reflection that my irritating visitors reserved some- thing in the shape of a rebuff; I could not separate myself from the convic- tion that my integrity as a gentle- man had suffered in a mistaken con- flict with humour. My headache, T think, was due in a large measure to the sickening fear that I had made a fool of myself, notwithstanding my efforts to make fools of them. My day was spoilt. My plans were upset i# .V41144 Tb.0 most deltciom'a •TAT •i1 and awry. Espying Britton in the gloomy cor- ridor, I shouted to him, and be came at once: "Britton," said I, as he closed the door, "do you think they will carry out their threat to have the law on me? Mr. Rocksworth was vary an- gry—and put out. He is a power, as you know." I think you are quite safe, sii<;" said he. '"I've been waiting outside since two o'clock to tell you some- thing, sir, but hated to disturb you. I„ "Thank you, Britton, my head was aching dreadfully." "Yes, sir. Quite so. Shortly be- fore two sir, one of the porters from the hotel came over to recover a gold purse Mrs. Riley-Werkheimer had dropped in the excitement, and he in- formed Mr. Poopendyke that the whole party was leaving at four for Dresden. I asked particular about the young man, air, and he said they had the doctor in to treat his stomach sir, immediately after they got back to the hoteL" (continued next week.) 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Writeor Call upon The Ontario Loan &Debenture Company Dundas Street and Market Lane LONDON, ONTARIO WH ITE STAR LINE f�TII%�* ?%h7Y n•,f • DON'T MISS THIS HAPPY 8 HOUR SAIL Steamer Greyhound Excursion Goderich to Detroit and Return i TUESDAY JUNE 12 i $225 $350 Round Trip Only once a year comes thte glorious excursion to Detroit —this opportunity to visit the amusements One Way 'h there and do your shopping—and enjoy the balmy lake ride, the danc- ing, the meala, and the concert music aboard. Leaving Goderich 9:30 e. m-, June 12 the steamer Greyhound reacher Port Huron 1,30 p. m.. and Detroit 5,30 m. Enjoy Detroit eights un[n Thursday, June 14. at 1 ti. m., tdhen return trip to Goderich is made. Last trip to Detroit leaves Goderich on Friday, June lath, 9:30 e. m. Mo n d a y, MOON- CHIL50c NIQNT DREN lune 11 LIGHT 25c Do not fall to enjoy the three hour moonlight trip out of Goderick Monday evening. Jung'11. FFlloder r l the OOrcheesttrra f r the 33rd aboard. Band. WHITE STAR LINE 111101".....••,* ,rC