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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1918-06-28, Page 7JUNE 28, MS iteolat rated Mil -grown r fine flavoury , never equallett 'ork until the next week but with- uccese, so it became necessary for -eller to f-md a substitute, or go v -eyed axed sleepless to his pleas- e- a man of the social tenmerment Le foreman to decline such an in. ion. was unthinkable, et as he had arrived at the on - on that he would have to go ght from werk, his eye lightened iindle and remembering what he heard about his varied abilities. eckoned him to follow to a room temporarily served as an Office of lVerks. Inside the roma Bindle d expectantly at his superior. . 'ear you've been carpenter," the man began. hinny 'ow rumours do get about," irked Bindle pleasantly. "I remet, Lber -when my brother-in-law, tids 'is Dame—ever met 'dint int ole bird, 'Earty.—Well, when •:ever mind "im." returned the man; "can You 'andle a screw- er ?" andle anythink, except a woman. ried yerself?" Bindle interrogated L significance. 'leering the question the foreman inued: "Can you take the numbers hem rosy doors in the east corridor - 1111t 'ern back again to -night with- makin' a stetteriif row?" Ie?" aliened Bindle in surprise. eot to eo to a funeral," continued fareman, avoiding Bindle's eye, I want to get a bit o' sleep first,' indle eyed his superior curiously. Funny things,funerals," he remark- asllm "Going to have a carnet ;he 'earse?" A. what?" rhe Iast time I went to a funeral gmednor saw me on the box, next le "Arper, and all the boys a-shout- ethink about 'Ope and Glory. The euvhior didn't might to 'ave ien o earlic Ole "Arper could play; wake a 'ole village while another was thinkhd about," he added re- iscently. ft's my mother wot's dead,'i said foreman dully, unequal to the task teaming the tide of Ilindle'S loqu- and at the same time keeping' on LI terms with him. 'dee mother? I'm sorry. Bundle nether tWiCR got "Oly Jim into an ible mess.. He fixed her funeral February—all serene; but wot ;t he go an' do. the silly ligginse forget 11 about it and start a-braiya of 'er again in June. 'Is guv'nor i to keep a book oi burgin's, and it Jim (mite a long time to explain t 'is buryin of 'er twice all come a- t through Jim bele a twin." he foreman's impatience was v mowing. "Never you mind bout , hely or otherwise. Can you take - and put on again there numBers?" nen after a pause he added casuallg ding in the direction of a cupboard he corner: ]here's a couple of bottles o' heir some bread an' cheese an' pickle hat cupboard." indle's face brightened, and thus -as that the bargain was struck, ;Then Bindle left the room it was a the knowledge that his superior been delivered into his handds, did not then know exactly how he .nded to compass the foreman's nfall. Inspiration would come lat- h was sufficient for him to know correction was to be administered .re correction was due., ( To be Continued Next Week). TV* l- ung, and authoritative, frierited by four of the rid. ;7.121 war oarrespondentsi The Mail and Empire ;GTON, dean of war Fmnch newspapers. give CLASS td .intin:,•)n of Canada is Mail and Empire hutdareling features of ATURES ire News and Views, Opirdom and Advice, eim fel- Gardening by Nene Moore Jamie- Medita- L 0,1d, With the Birds, S.1. delivered. or direct. TORONTO JUNE 281 1918 SOUR, ACID STOMACHS, GASES OR INDIGESTION *Tape's Diapepsin" neutralizes exces- sive acid in stomach, relieving dyspepsia, heartburn and distress at once.. Time, it! In five minutes all atom - *eh distress, due to acidity, willgo. Ne indigestion, heartburn,nnirness or belching of .1 it or eructations of undi- gested food,dizziness,bloating, foul ; breath or headache. 4, Pape's Diapepsin is noted for its. „speed in regulating upset stontachs. lt.is the surest, quickest stomach sweet- ener in the whole world, and besides it Is harmlees. Put an end to stomach distress at "once by getting a large fifty - cent ease of Pape's Diapepsin from any drug store. You realize in five minutes how needless it is to suffer from indi- gestion, dyspepsia or any stomach dis- order caused by fermentation due to excessive acids in stomach. SHARP PAINS SHOT THROUGH HEART. Thousands of people go about their -daily work on the verge of death and yet don't IMQW it. Every once in a while a pain will ohoot through the heart, but little at- tention is paid to it at the time,- and it is only when a violent shock comes that the weakness of the heart is apparent. There is only one cure for the weak heart and that is Milburn' s Heart and Nerve Pills. Mr. H. A. Young, 83 Ilayter St., Toronto, Ont. writes—"I Ivied. to have sharp pains ihoot through My heart, suffered from shortness of breath, and was so nervous I could not sleep at night. A friend advised me to try Milburn's Heart and Nerve Pills and after mee box I found great relief. muree boxes completely cured Me." Milburn's. Heart and Nerve Pills are. 50c. Per box at all dealers, or mailed direct on receipt of• price by The T. Mil- burn Co., Limited, Toronto, Ont. -44.4 "CASCARETS" WOEL WHILE YOU SLEEP roe Sick Headache, Sour Stomach, ' Sluggish Liver and Bowels— Take Cascarets tonight. rtiffid Tongue, Bad Taste, Indiges- tion, Sallow Skin and Miserable Head. -- aches come from a torpid )liver and clogged bowels, 'whieh cause your stom- ach to become filled with undigested food, whidb. sours and ferments like gar- bage in -a swill barrel. That's the first etep to untold, misery—indigestion, foul gases, had breath, yellow, skin, nientti fears, everything that is hOrrible and nauseating. A Oasca,ret to -night will give your constipated bowels a. thorough cleansing and straighten !you out by morning. They work, while you sleep— • a 10 -cent box from your druggist will keep you feeling good for month. $200.000 to lend on Farms, First, Second Mortgages. Call or write me at ones and get your loan arranged by return maiL No advance charges. E. IL REYNOLDS, 77 Victoria Bt., Torontto. KIDNEYS SO, BAD WOULD FAINT AWAY THAT WAY FOR TWO YEARS. Those who have never been troubled with kidney trouble do not know the suffering and misery which those afftieted undergo: The dull pains, sharp pains, and quick twinges, all point to the fact that the kidneys require attention. Doan's Kidney Pills are B. specific for ell kidney troubles. Mrs. Albert Williams, Edam Sask., writes:.—"I have the greatest pleasure in telling you what Doan's Kidney. Pills did for me. Ten years ago 1 whs so bad with my kidneys that I woulclifaint *nay, and could not stand to do anything. I had been that way for two years, and had done all I could, but did not get any better until one day some one put a little book in our door, and I saw how another young girl had suffered like I was then, so I thought I would try them, and I axn glad to say that after' taking four boxes I have never had the same thing again. Thanks to "Doan's." When asking for "Doan's' Pills" see that you get the oblong grey box with the trade mark of a "Maple Leaf." Price 50c; put up by The T. Milburn co., Limited, Toronto, Ont. GIVE "SYRUP OF FIGS" TO CONSTIPATED CHILD Delicious "Fruit Laxative" can't herne tender little Stomach, Liver and Bowels. tet,t 1.1••••••••111,m,••••••• look at the tonteud, behther 1 If *chattel, your little One's stomach, liver end bowels need cleansing at once. When peevish, cross,. listless, doesn't !deep, at or act naturally, or is fever- ish, stomach sour, breath bad; has sor tnr9at, diarrlicea, full of cold, give a teaspoonful of "California Syrup of Pigs/ and. in a few hours all'ibe foul, constiNted waste, undigested food and eour bile gently moves out of its little bowels without griping, and you have a, Well, playful child. again. .Ask your druggist for bottle of "California, aSyrup of Pigs," which contains full directions for 'babies, ehildree 'of ed.i. nes Mid for grown-ups. • mulammimmisin by ilerb‘rt Jenkins ; • t (Continued frora our last issue.). "N -no," he faltered in a voice he could have sveorn was not his -own. "You say that the prisonemis not the man who entered, your flat during the early hours of' this -morning,?" , questioned the magistrate. j "No sir, . ;he's not," replied Conti t wearily, miserably. What had hap- pened? Wag he a failure? "Please exrdain what happened," or- dered the magistrate. 1• - Conti did eo. He told how he had been awakened, and how he conceived the idea of hypnotising the burglar and making him give himself up to- the police. ' The prisoner was then sworn and related haw he had been commanded in the name of the law to deliver the note at the police station; heir he had done see and had been ,promptly arrested; hove he had protested his in. nocense, but +without result. TheProfess.or listened to the story in amazement, and to the subsequent remarks of the magistrate upon quack practices and police methods with dull resignation. He did not howeyer, realize the full 'horrorof the • catastrophy that had he fallen him lentil five minutes . after leaving the cOurt, when he encounter- ed a newsvendor displaying a placard of the Evening Mail bearing the words: , . Professor Coati's Great Hypnotic Feat Capture of an Alleged Burglar u He then saw that he had lost his reputation,his belief in his own pow- ers, his living, and about fifty pounds' with of _property. When he reached his flat late in the afternoon, he was astonished to find a- waiting him a small packet -that had come by poet, which contained ' the whole of. the missing property, even down - to- the small change, also the two duplicate keys that Bindle 'had caused to be fashioned. "Pm a bloomin' poor burglar," Bin- dle had ass•ueed himself cheerfully as he dropped the parcel containing the proceeds of his burglary" into a pil- lar -box, a -returning the swag by post. I got to be careful wot sort o' little jokes I goes in for in future. That evening Joseph Bindle sat at home in his favourite chair reading with great relish The Evening Post's account of the Great Hypnotic ,Fiasco 'Being at bitter enmity -with the Even- ing Mail, the Post had given full rein to its sense of•the ludicrous. Puffing contetedly at •a two -penny cigar, Bindie enjoyed to the full the story so ably presented; but nothing gave hini so much pleasure as the magistrate's dosing words. He read them for the fourth time. .."Professor Conti sought advertise- ment; he has got it. Unfortunately for him, he met a man cleverer than himself, one who is something of a ' humorist." Bimille smiled appreciat- ively. "The conduct of the police in this case is reprehensible to a degree, and they owe it to the public to bring the real culprit to justice." With great deliberation Bindle re- moved his cigar from his mouth, plac- ed the forefinger of his right hand,to the side of his nose and winked. "Seem to be pleased with yourself," commented Mrs. Bindle acidly, as she banged a plate Upon the table. To her, emphaeis was the essence of ex- istence. "You've 'it it, Mrs. B., I am pleas- ed wi' meself," Bindle replied. He felt impervious to any negative in- fluence. "What's happened, may ask?" "A lot o' things 'aye 'appened, an' a lot o' things will go ont. appening as long as your ol' man dan take a 'int. You're a' wonderful woman, Mrs. B.. more wonderful than yer know; but yer must give 'ern some nasty jars in Maven now and then." Bindle rose, produced from his poc- ket the tin �f salmon that inevitably accompanied any endeavor on. his part to stand up to Mrs. Bindle, then pick- ing up a jug from the dresser, he went out to fetch the supper beer, striving at one and the same time to do justice to "Gospel Bells" and his cigar. CHAPTER IV - The Heartysnat Home. - The atmosphere of the Hearty men- age was one of religious gloom. To Mr. Hearty laughter and a smiling face were the attributes of the ma. godly. He never laughed himself, and his smile was merely the bearing of a handful of irregular yellow teeth, an action 'that commenced and ended with such suddenness as to cast some doubt upon its spontaneity. He peesessed only two interests in life—business and the chapel, and One dread—his wife's brother-inlaw, Jos- eph Bindle. As business was not a thing he cared to discusswith his wife or eighteen -year-old daughter, Millie, the one topic of conversation left was the chapel. Mr. Hearty was a spare man of medium height, with a heavy mous- teche, iron -grey chop whiskers, and, a woolly voice. e1 never see a chap wi' whiskers like that wot wasn't ai 'oly as oil," was Bindle's opinion. r Mr. Hearty was negative in every- thing save piety. His ideal in life was to temporise and placate, and thus a- void anythine in the nature of a dis- Mate or altercation. I "If 'Earty's g•oin' to be a favourite in Maven," Bindle had once said to Mrs. Bindle, "I don't think much of 'even's taste in men. g can't it no - think, either with 'is fist or tongue. I If you was more like him," Mrs. Bindle had retorted, "you might wear a top hat on Sundays, same as he does." t "Me in a top 'at!" Bindle had cried. " '01y Moses! I ean .see it! Why, my ears ain't big enough to 'old it up. Wot h.n1 I do if there was en 'igh L. T'ilit UlitiN. EXPOSIT 1,................ 1 Hearty eatirely helpless both of ace PARALYSIS 5....p..... "aztIves 7 , quickly e v;TbIs, Chronic Trouble &am, moNmatz. - opinion, no other medicine) ive for Constipation and f as 'Fruit,a-tives'. ' sufferer from these cond or five -years, and -My occupation; Music, brought I . 004 a kind of Intestinal Paralysis; withsas1y H adaehes, belching gas, drowsine aft!er eating, and pain in the hack.. I was induced to try 'Fruit-a-U.7es' and now for six month -8 I have been entirely well". A. ROSENBURG. aCs:abx2 6 or $2.503 trial size 25c. At all dealers or sent postpaid by . Fruit-a:117;s Limited, Ottawa. _ I [ndgestI sedentar wind blow ri' ? h-chasin' it up a an ole wonean a Bindle 1inseI pugnaciou ; bu manhood ras t to hit anybea He had be n; Im bigger th n hi personally had with them. but r sense of tie fit when am n w a horse, Bi dies had ensu w when both parti to continu "Blimey, but Joe," rem ked fight was the o ing with i bleeding f breath. " wasift 'urt "Someb ger," gas smile, "an after a pa for a coy can't 'it b Meals a solenni aff had little o was pees Mr. Hee enjoyment. seemed be and„ coupl pearance constant 'a was extre stewed fo oaten ext greater p engaged i I'd speed all Sunday d down the street, like ter a black 'en. was far from being his conception of at it should be ready that wanted hitting. wn to fight men -much self, not because he ny dispute to settle ther from am -abstract ess of things: Once mercilessly ,beating tervenid, and 'a. fight ich had ended only s were too exhausted you ain't 'arf a fool, Ginger, to whom a e joy in life, regard - teres Bindle's bruised and ce as he stood sobbing for ot yer do it for? 'E ng YOu; it was the 'orse." y 'ad to 'winner him, Gin - ed Bindle with a wry the 'orse couldn't." Then se he added, -"It ain't good to le let it things wot the Heartys' table were irs i4i which conversation no jart, save when Bindle t. his, food with noisy moustache, which eepieg. into his mouth h his lugubrious ap- edd walrus, required , n, particularly as he ond of soups and tr a His t on r d wi f a ti tenti tely ds. This rendered conYer- emely' difficult. During the, rt of a meal he would be taking first one end of his moust che into his mouth fof• the purpose ofl cleanaing it. This he did to the acc raparnment of a prolonged sucking s und, suggestive of great enjoyment. "1 likes to w tch 'Earty cleaning 'IS whiske s," 1ind1e had once re- marked, after ga ing at his brother-in- law for soii nutes with great in - e m tentnees. 'E never misses an 'air." Mr. Hearty had got very red, and for the rept of the meal refused all but solid f!eods. Bindle • as a perpetual source of anxiety to ;Mr. 1Iearty, who, although always prepared for the. worst, yet invariably found that the worst tran- scended hi expectations. Had he not been christian he might have suggested utting himself and family adrift froia all association with his brother -hi -law. Even had he been able to overcome his scruples, there was the very obvious bond of affec- tion betwe n Mrs. Hearty, Millie, and "Uncle Jo;" but, what wee more a- larming., t ere was the miestion of how Bindl himself might i view the severance. i Mrs. He rtv-was a woman on whom fat had d4scended like a plague. It rendered 1er helpless of anything in the nature of exertion. -In her Bin- dle found a kindred spirit. Her sil- ent laugh which rippled down her chins until lost to sight in her ample bust, lime failed to inspire him to his best e arts. He would tell her of his "little jokes" until Millie would have to interveno with a timid: "Oh, Uncle, don't! You're hurting mother." Great amusement rendered Mrs. WINS Illealth Triumphs over disease every time you use Lifebuoy Soap. For its mild healing and cleansing oils are charged with cleafising properties that make it simply inv+able. r HEALTH StIA Midand pure enough for Baiy's skin—therefore emi- nently ,suitable for yours.. The mild, antiseptic odor wishes quickly after use.. • Lever Brothers Limited TORONTO data! Grocers tion and a speech; and :to her laugh- ter was something between an anguish and -an ecstasy. •' a d She was quite .comacious of the i stitnulating art* imon Bindle of her "Oh. Joe, donttr Yet never hesitat- ed I to utter what -she knew . would eventually reduce; er to a rippling and heaving mass of mirth. ' She was Bindle's confidante, and - seemed to find in the amulets of his adventures compensation for the at- mosphere of repression in which she lived. In her heart she regretted that herhusbandhad not been a furniture - remover instead of a greengrocer for it seemed ne. produce endless di- -Versions. 'We Millie wouldsit on a stoolat her mother's feet drinking in Uncle Joe's stories, uttering an occasional half -laughing, half-reproaehful "Oh, Idece Joe If Mrs. Hearty had a wealmese for Sidle's stories, Mrs. Bindle found in Alfred Hearty her ideal of what a man should be. When a girl she had been celled upon to choose between Alfred Hearty, then a greengrocer's assistant and Joseph Bindle, and she never quite forgave herself for having taken the wrong man. ;In those days Bindle's winning tongue had left Alfred Heardy, with- out even a sporting, chance. To Mrs. - B Ole her mistaken choice . was the emitter -worm for her uncompromising attitude towards Bindle. In a momentof pride at his con- quest Bindle had said to Hearty: ' l'It's no good goin' after .a woman. W1' one eye on the golden gates o' Maven, 'Earty, and that's why I won." ' Since then -Bindle -had . resented 'Hearty's apathetic courtship, which had brought about his own victory. Many times Bindle had thonght over the folly of his wooing, and he always ewe to the same conclusion,. a mut- tered: ' "If 'e 'ad 'ad a little more ginger 'e might 'ave won. They'd 'ave maide a tasty pair." The result had been that Mrs. Rin - die's sister, Martha, had caught Mr. Hearty at the rebound, and had since regretted it as much as she ever re- gretted anything. "When you're my size;" she would say, "you don't trouble.. about any- thing. It's the lean ones as worries. Leek at Lizzie." Lizzie was Mrs. ltisBindle.r.Bin dle herself had been very different as a girl. Theatres and the music ha11s were not there "places of sin;" and she was not altogether a - bo e suspicion of being a• flirt. When it ljawned upon her that she had made a niistake in 'marrying Bindle, and let- ting her sister Martha secure the matrirnonial prize, a great bitterness had taken possession of, her., . . As Mr. Hearty slowly climbed the ladder towards success, Mrs. Bindle's thoughts went with him. He became her great interest in life, _ No wife or mother ever watched the progress of huband or son` with keener interest r greater admiration then Mrs. Bindle watched that of her brother-in-law. radually she began fb make him her "pattern to live and to. die." She joined the Alton Road Chapel, gave up all carnal" amusement,nd began a careful and elaborate preparation for the next world. , Bindle, as the unco&eiting cause of her humiliation—the supreme hundlin atio of a woman's life, marrying the wrong man—became also the victim of her dissatisfaction. He watched' the hange, marvelling at its cause and with philosophic acceptance explaining it by telling. himself that "women were funny things." As a girl.Mrs. Bindle had' been plea- sure loving, same regarded her as somewhat flighty; and the course of radaal starvation of pleasure to which she Sebjected herseif had embittered her whole nature. There was, howev- er, no suggestion of sentiment in her attitude towards her brother-in-law. He was her stardard by which she measured the failure of ether men, Bindle in particular. . . Like, all women, she bowed the knee to success, and Alfred Hearty was the most sliceessful man she had ever en- coiinteited. He had begun life on the tail board of a parcels delivery van, he was now the owner of two flourish- ing greengrocer's shops, to say nothing of being regarded as one of Fulham s most werthy ettizens. From; van boy to a small green gro- cer, he had risen to the important po- sition d calling on customers to solic- it order, and here he had shown his first flaeh of genius. He had cultivat- ed every housewife and maid -servant assiduously, never allowing them to buy anything he'could not reeommend. When eventually he started in busi- ness on his own account, he had care- fully canvassed his late employers cus- tomers, who, to a woman, went over to him. ' "It W112 that 'oly smile of 'is wot done it, was Biadle's opinion. When in the natural course of e- vents his previous employer retired a bankrupt. it was taken as evidence of the supr e ability of the man who had takeh from him his livlihood. In the eadministration of his own business Alfred Hearty had shown his second flash of genius --he never al- lowed his; own employees an opportun- ity of doing as he had done, but, by occasional personal calls upon his cus- tomers, managed to convey the idea that it Was he who was entirely re- sponsible for the proper execution of their orders. As a further precau- tion he constantly changed the rounds of his mee, and thus safeguarded him- self from any employee playing Wel- lington to his Napoleon. Occasiopally on Sunday evening Binddle and Mrs. Bindle would be in- vited to supper at the Heartys' in Ful- ham High Street, where they lived over -their principal shop. Mr. Hearty and Mts. Bindle would return aftet Chapel with Millie; Bindle. invariably arranged `to arrive early in order to, have a talk with Mrs. Hearty, who did not go to chapel because her "breath was that lead." "Fenny' thing, you and Lizzie bein' dsiestwer6sui; dy,:uays.eem to have got all the meat an' left 'er only the bones!" Bin - Bindle hated anything that was even 'remotely eonnected with lemons,. a fruit ;that to him symbolized aggres- sive temperance. Mr. Hearty was very partial to lemon flavoring, and in cotisequene lemon puddings, lemon cake e and lemon tarts were invariably served as sweets at his table. I "Lemonade, lemon cakes and lemon faces. al as sour as an tmkissed gal, that's wot a Sunday night at Hearty's place is,' Bindle had confided to a Daeral mate. Once the chapel party returned the evening became Monoterions. After 'supper Millie was sent to the harmonium And hymns were . sung, Mrs. I3indle had a thin, piercing voice, Millie a Small tremulous soprano and Mr. Heardir was what Bindle called "al wool and wind," Mrs. Hearty ap- peared to have no voice a all, although, her lips moved in sympathy with the singers. , At first Bindle had been a silent and agonized spectator, refusing .all invi tations to join in the singing. He would sit his attention divided be tvdeen Ma :Hearty's curious vocal con- tortions, suggestive of a hen drieldng water, and the rippling motion 1 Mrs. i, Hearty's chins. When singin , Mr. Hearty elevated his head, sere' d up his eyes and raised his eyebrowsathe higher the note the higher went his eyebrows, and the More closely he screwed up to his eyes. - "'E makes faces 'enough for a'ole band," Bindle c•nee whispered to MTS. Hearty, who had brought the evening toi a dramatic close by incontinently collapsing. "A laugh and an 'yrrin got mixed," was Bindle's diagnosis. It was soon after this episode that Bindle hit upon a happy idea for bring- ing to a conclusion these, to him, ted- ious eyeninge, Mrs. Bindle'sfavorite hymn was "Gospel Bells," whereas Mr.. Hearty' seemed to cherish an equally strong love for "Pull for the Shore, Sailors." Never were these hymns sung less than three times each dur- ing the cotirse of the evening. Bindle had thought of many nkYd pf trying to end -the performance. Once he had dexterously inserted: his pen- knife -in the bellows of.the harmonium whilst looking for a pencil he was supposed to have dropped. This, how - ,ever merely added to the horror Of the situation: "The bloomin' thing blew Worse than 'Earty," he said. One evening he determined to put his new idea into practise. The gross volume of sound produced by the quar- tett with the harmonium was extre- melYasmall, and Bindle conceived the idea of drowning it. . "Pll stew 'em in their own juice,'' he muttered . - He had no voice. and very little idea either of tune or tine. What he did possess he was cariful to forget. The first hymn in which he joined was "Pull for the Shore, Sailors." From the first Bindle's voice proved absolutely uncontrollable. It wavered and darted all over the gamut, and as it was much louder than the combined efforts of the, other three, plus the ham monitun, Bindle appeared to be soloist, the others suppying a eubdued -accom- paniment. Unity �f effort seemed im- possible. Whilst they were in the process_ orpulling" he was invariably on "the shore," and when they had ar- rived at "the shore," he had just start-' ed "pulling." Time after time they stopped to make a fresh start but without impreving the general effect. - Bindle ' showed great concern at- his curious in ability to keep_with the oth- ers, and suggested retiring from the contest; but this Mr. Hearty would not hear of. To help matters he beat time with dfis hand, but as his vocal attitude Was one of Contemplation of the ceil- ing, generally -with closed eyes;he very frequentlyhie Millie on -the,head,cans- ing her to Joe her place and forget the Pedals, with the result that the harmonium died away in, a moan of de- spair. Bindle, however, always went on. All he required was the words, to which he did full justiee. The evening was terminated by the collapse of Mrs. Hearty. . On the following day Bindle could not talk above a whisper. One result of Bindle's vocal efforts had been that invitations to spend Sun- day evenings with the Hearty_s lied be- come less frequent, a circumstance on which Mrs. Bindle did not fail to com- ment. "You're always spoilin' things for . m e.I enjoyed those eveningh, she corn- plained. • • "Shoeldn't have arst me to sing," Bindle retorted. "Yemknow I ain't a bloomin' can#y, like you an'Earty."'Earty." To MT. Hearty the visits off the Bindles took on a new and more -alarm- , ing aspect. Sunday was no day for secular things, and he dreaded his tiro-, ther-in-law's reminiscences and com- ments on "parsons," and his views re- garding religion. Sooner or later Bin- dle always managed to gather the des- ultorycon- versational threads into his own hands. Bindle remarked pleasantly one Sun- day evening apropos nothing. "So Ought Ginger, if 'is language wasn't "I reinember rnovire a parson once" "Y' oughter been a paxson, 'Earty,"- to go miles into the jungle 'ad to, be carried on the 'eads of niggers. Forty pounds a man, and the nigger a-standine by to see it weighed, an' refusini to budge if it was an ounce overweight. 1 net -ler knew niggers was so cute.This mis- sionary was allowed about tPri bundles o' forty pounds each. Lord ! yer should 'ave seen the collection of stuff 'e'd got, About four ton. :The mana- ger worked it out that about two 'un- dred niggers 'ud be wanted. " 'E 'ad 'is double bed; the top its - self weighed seventy pounds. Wot a missionary wants with. a double bed in the jungle does me. 'E give up the bedstead' idea, an' 'e give it to me in- stead o' beer money. That's 'ow Mrs. B. comes to sleep hi a.mission- ary's bed. "E stuck to a grandfather clock, though. Nothing. could per- suade him to leave it beind. . The clock and weights was tee much for tohnee tneiaggtherin, gsso2I, i' put the weights in w "Oh„Knele Joe!" from Millie. "yes, ie's got the time in the jungle but if 'e wants 'is tea W11 'ave to drink it out of 'is boot. Them weights must 'ave made an 'oly mess of the crockery At this linctur MrII id d . valient effort to divert the conversa- tion to the forth coming missionary tea; but Bindle was too strong for hint. "There was one parson," he con- tinued, " 'oc• was differept from the I others. 'E was a big gun. I moved I 'im when he was made a dean. 'E'd come an' sit an' talk while we 'ad our; dinner, which 'e used to give us, Beer I too, 'Earty. No lemon flavourire about i 'im. "One day 1 sez to 'im, 'Funny thing you bein' a parson, sir, if you'll for- give me savin' so.' " 'Why?' he arst. " 'Well, you seem so- 'appy, just I like me and 'liggles,"Uggles is al- ways grinnin' when he ain't drunk. . I " 'E laughed as if it was the best 1 1 Winnipeg Travellers Gel Chance to Study Hinterland New Ontario's immense fairest re.. serves and seat of Provirmisi Colonisation Scheme of Great Interest The traveller nowadays wants 'Some. thing more than formal se4t space; and the Well established servtee of the Canadian Northern toWesternCanada affords ample opportunity for thought. The immense stands of merchantable timber. the untold wealth in water power. and -the great commersial and agricultural possibilities of Northern Ontario should be matters of common knowledge to Canadiallodern trains of standard and tb1ist sleep- ing ears and coaches leave ‘,Torouto Union Station at 10.00 p.miondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. nnecting at Winnipeg for all points an Western Canada. For Tickets, Reservations. Liter- ature and Information, apply to C. A. AberhaTt, Druggist, Sea - forth, or write R, L. Fairbairn, G.P.A., O'S King St. B., Toronto. CANADIAN NORTHERN Olgeren Ory 0 A tillr0 Ft A •••••••••••,11.0.0.6.41.111.,11.11.0.11.4.0.44.11.0.410.13.4. a It Works! Ivy It ITells 'tow to loosen a sore, tender corn so it lifts out without pain. -..•-•.....•••.4.4.4.4.4.4.4..s.a..*.ef.a.w.s.ii.ap....-•+.* Good 1111192 spreads rapidly ani drug-, gists here are kept busy dispensing • freezone, the ether diseovery of ta Cin- cinnati man, *hick is said to loosen any corn so it lifts out with the ilagen3, 1L3k at any pharmacy for a quarter ounce of freezone, which will cost very little, but is said to be sufficient to 210 one's feet of every hard or soil eorn or callus. . You apply just a few drops on the tender; aching corn andfinstantly this soreness is relieved,- and soon the oofli is so swiveled that it lifts out ,wi out pain. _ It is, a sticky subBtanee which dries when applied and ikever - Inflames or even Irritates the a4Iolu- g tisaue. ‘ itThia -discovery will . prevent tflou- 1 sands ot deaths annually from lockjaw jote'e'devigeirt eardodidt make yer 'appy the Raid Infection heretofore resulting front 'If reien the suicidal habit of cutting -corne it's the wrong religion,"e says. f "NI:1'W look at arty and Lizzie; do i they look 'appy?" .i 'Earty 1; 4 stinctively at the two idhle§s faces CR Hearty and Millie looked in- I OIL.,1drea Cryl I 'az "They 'got the wrong religion, sure • n f' RIR HATO CASTOR' as eggs," pronounced Bindle, well Pleased at the embarrassment on the - faces of Mee. Bindle and Mr. Hearty. GIRLS! LEMON JUICE "1 went to hear that cove preach. I liked 'is Gawd betteen yours, 'Earty. 4 • 'E didn't want to turn the next -world into a sort of mixed grill. He was_all for 'appinese and pleasure. I could be -religious with- a. man Iike that -pare son. He was too good for- 'is job.. "There's some ,people watt geftii to Spend* --theiri 'lithe a-myentin"orrible punishments' in the next world for the people they don't like in this." "I wish you'd learn 'ow to be'ave be- fore your betters," remarked Mrs. Bidle, in the subdued voice she always adopted in the presence of Mr. Hearty. "I'm ashamed of you, Bindle, that I am." "Dent you worry, Mrs. B. Teeter knows me bark' e worse'n me bite, don't yer ole sport?" Mr. Hearty shivered, but bared his teeth in token of Christian forebear... ance. • "An' now. Mrs. Bindle, it's 'ome and 'appiness and the missionary's bed." As Bindle was in the hail; putting on his coat, Millie slipped but. "Uncle," she whispered, "will you take me to the pictures one night?" , "0' course I will, little Millikins. Name the sp-InIr day." - "Friday," she whispered; "but ask before father; and uncle, will you put on your hard hat and best overcoat?" Bindle eyed his niece curiously. (Continued on page six.) IS A SKIN VIIHITENElt Flow to make a creamy beauty lot fora few ceritsi Ofi f - . The juice ef :two dram, lemons strained into a. bottle containing three ounees of orchard white makes a .whole quartm pint of the most remarkable lemon skiii beautifier at about the cost one must'; pay for a small jar of the ordinary cold creams. Care shoved be taken te straits the lemon juice through a fine cloth ap no lemon pulp gets ire then this lotioit will keep fresh for months. Every woman knows that leinon juice is used to bleach and remove such blemishes adt freckles, sallowness and tan and the ideal 'skin softener, whitener an41 beautifier. Just try it! Get three ounmi 4 orchard white at any drug tore an two lemons from the -grocer and make r. a. quarter pint of this sweetly filigree lemon lotion and massage it daily in the face, neck, arms and hands. CASTOR! Jt Infants aud. Tbs lied You Have Always Beers the Signature of The bigger Comfort Soap bar fax the same money is pretty good news in these days of high prices isn't it? What does it mean? Simply that our tremendous buying power in the soap -materials market can give you infinitely better value in Soap than it can in, premiums. Owing to the war hundreds of factories are now making more essential goods than premiums, and the premiums still offered us are too fax under Comfort standards of quality, and are certainly, too high in price, to be good value fax you. So we will discontinue premiun3s until after the War, anyhow. All premium -bearing Comfort Soap wrappers and coupons now out will still be redeemed from our present ample Premium stock. No premiums—but every fraction of every cent you pay is returned to you in splendid Comfort Soap—the best way in war time.