HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1918-04-05, Page 7ea*, ammlim•-.
lent in populari -y is a -card
lied ‘Nap" It is well name&
me I played it I went to sleep.
r and SoIct Whist- are played
tighbrows of the Company.
be Continued Next Week)
"ARMS" WORK
WILE YOU BLEEP
.IMME.P.m....10110.111L
el? Headache, Sara Stomach,
wish- Liver and Bowels --
Take Cascareta tonight.
....e••••••••••10
& Tongue, Bad Tatit4 Isdigee-
Ilow Skin awl Miterabla Head-
trose front a torpid liver and
bowels, whick cause your stole-
beeaome flied with undigested
iich sours and ferments like gar-
s, swill barrel. That's the first
untold misery—indigestiont foul -
ad breath, yellow skim, mental
,verything that is horribleand.
irg.. A atscaret to -night will
ar constipated bowels a thorougb
g and straighten you out -bt
They work While you sleek—
it Ulm from y011r druggist will
re feeling goodfor month
fbr exemption
nowith Class 1
aS was inevit-
es put in the
d exemption
to evade pare
defence of the
0 would defeat
C second clan
IS'
granted to date
S or insufficient
ilitary Seevice'
exempted men.
romptly under
reSS
,...pted men who
and who have
fy him at once.
jp the Registrar
je questionnaire
nt to failure to
of the public
false or rois-
invited. The
.o the Country,
reinforcements
will be treated
ion.
r of usti41
DePtrtY
402A
APRIL S. i9i8
GIVZ "SYRUP Or PIGS"
TO CONSTIPATED OR= I
De clout arrut Laxative can't harni
tender little Stomach, Liver
arid Bowels.
IMMINIMUSEMINIMENEMEIMMISHMEHM11111101111
Mt=
tobk ist the tongue, inotheti
.11 nsisow7i
',coated, your little one s stomach, lives'
and bowels need cleansing at exice.
When peevish, cross, listless, &egret
,eleep, eat or act, naturally, or is fever-
ish, stomach sour, breath bad; bas sore
throat, diarrhcea, full of cold, give a
teaepeonful of "California Syrup of
Figs," eit 'in a few hours all the foul, (Contimiedi from our last issue.)
Over
The Top
0 S
sionor
'ARTHUR GUY EMPEY
rtin111110111111111111101WM1111111liallE111111111111111111111111111111110111111awlea
t'en4iPat
waste umligested. f°°(1- and "I gave the General's message t
bawnis o the
wit °utsfriPing' and "I lave a "The relief attived, and as we left
eout bile tently.,moves out of its little Captain, and etarted packing up.
.playful ild again. Ask your
druggist for a bottle of "ossisornia the post the Captain said:
!Syrup of Figs," which contains full "'Now for the fireworks, and I know
directions for babies, ohildreo of ages !they'll be god and, plenty.' They
and :for grOWII-Upe. were.
"When we arrived at the gun pits,
the Battery Commander, the Sergeant
Major, and Cassell were waiting for
us. We fell in line and. thefuneral
march to Brigade Headquarters start: -
LEGAL.
R. S. HAYS.
° Barrister Solicitor,Conveyancer and
Notary Pufilic. Solicitor for the Do -
ion Bank. Office in rear of the °-
minion Bank Seaforth. Money to
loan.
le.19,1.130m•MR
J. M. BEST.
Banister, Solicitor, Conveya .er
and Notary Public. Office misfit rs
ever Walker's Furniture Store, Main
lireet, Seaforth.
st.A"
PEOUDFOOT, KELLORAN AND
COOKE.
Barristers, Solicitors, Notaries Pub..
Ile, etc. Money to lend. In Seaforth
on Monday of each week. Office in
Kidd Block W. Proudfoot, LC., J.
L. Killoran, H. J. D. Cooke.
VETERINARY.
F. IIARBURN, V.S.
Honor graduate of Ontario Veterin-
ary College, and honorary irieraber of
the Medical Association of the Ontario
Veterinary College. Treats' diseases of
aH domestic animals by the most mod-
al& principles. Dentistry and Milk Fev-
er a specialty. Office opposite Dick's
Rotel, Main Street, Seaforth. M o-
dors left at the hotel will re* • lye
prompt attention. Night calls re s Iv -
ad at the office:
,I=1.1.101•1•••••••,•1••
JOHN GRIEVE, V . S
Honor graduate of Ontario Vokain-
fry College. All, diseases ol domestic
animals treated. Calls promptly at-
tended to and charges moderate. Vet-
erinary Dentistry a specialty. Office
and residence on Goderich street, one
door east of Dr. Scott's office, Sea -
forth.
MEDICAL.
DR. W.J. GLANFIELD, M.A., MB.,
Physician, Etc. Honor Graduate
iof University of Toronto, six years'
experience. Brucefield, Ontario.
DR. GEORGE HEILEMANN.
Osteopathic Physician of Goderi )1.
$peciaTht in women's and childreirs
daeaaes, rheumatism, acute, chronin
and nervous disorders; eye ear, nose
and throat. Consultation free. Office
In the Royal Hotel, Seaforth, Tues-
days and Fridays, 8 a.ra. till 1 p.m.
C. j. W. HARN, M.D.C.M.
4,25 Richmond Street, London, 0 r
Specialist, Surgery and Genito-Ur
ary liseases of men and women,
• el.M M.•••••••••••••
Dr. ALEXANDER MOIR
Hem
ed.
"Arriving at Headquarters the Bat
tery. Commander was the first to b
interviewed. Thi a was behind _clos
doors. From the roaring and explos
111011.1111111.0...........16410•11,0
• e •
Mrs. Courtney Tells How She
WaiaCured•by LydiaE.
Pinkhani's Vegetable
Compound.
Oskidoess, Iowa.: -"For year r was
simply in misery from'a weakness and
- 'awful pains—an d
nothing seemed to
do me any good. • A
friend Omen me
.to take Lydia E.
Pinkham's V e g e -
table Compound. I
did. so and got re-
lief right away. I -
can mertainly re-
commend this valu-
able medicine to
other women who
stiffer, for it hs
done such good
werk for me and I know it will hell?
--Mrs. LIZZIE COURTNEY, 108 8th -Ave.,
West, Oskaloosa, Iowa.
Why will women drag along from day
to day,year in and year out, suffering
such misery as did Mrs. Courtney, when
nOch letters as this are -continually being
published. Every woman who suffers
freak displacemetits, irregularities, in-
flamteation, ulceration, backache, ner-
Welleneten, or who is passing througlathe
Chang* of Life ehould give this 'anions
root and herb remedy, Lydia E. Pink -
special advice writeLydia E. Pinkliam
bam's Vegetable Corral, a trial. For'
Medicine Co., Lynn, Mal. The rekult
ef its long experience is at your services
- others if they will give it a fair trial.
ed
ions of Old Pepper it sounded as if
raw meat was being thrown to the
lions. Cassell, later, deectibed ft as
sounding like a bombing raid. In a-
bout two minutes thesaicer reappear-
ed. The
sweat
was
waff the mcolor
fora
of a beet. He was .sPenchleas. As
he passed the CaPtain he jerked his
thumb in the direction of the lion's
den. and went out Then the Captain
went in, and the Bons were once egain
fed. The captain stayed about tWen-
ty minutes a-nd came out. 1 couldn't
see his face, but the droop in his sliOul-
ders was enough. He looked like a
Wet hen.
"The door of the General's ream
opened, and Old Pepper stood in the
doorway. With a roar he shouted;
'Which one of you • is Cassell ?
Damn me, get your heels together
when, I speak! Come in here!"
"Cassell started to say, 'Yes sir.'
"But Old Pepper roared, 'Shut up!'
• "Cassell came out in five minutes.
He said nothing, but as he passed me,
put his tongue into his/ cheek and
;winked then turning- to the closed
door he stuck his thumb to his nose
and left.
"Then the Sergeant -Major's turn
came. He didn't come out our way.
Judging by the roaring, Old Pepper
must have eaten him. J
"When -the door opened and the
General eckoned to mei nlY knees
started to play Home Sweet Home a-
gainst each other. .
"My interview was very short.
-"Old Pepper glared at me when I
entered, and then let loose. e
" 'Of course you don't know any-
thing about it. You're -ilia 'like the
rest. Ought to have a nursing bottle
around your neck and a nipple in your
teeth. Soldiers, by gad, you turn My
stomach to rook at you. Wia this
war, when England sends out such
samples as - I have in my Brigade!
Not likely! Now, -sir, tell me what
you don't know about this affair.
Speak up, out with it. Don't be gap-
ing at me like a fish. Spit it out'
"I stammered, 'Sir, I know abso-
lutely nothing.'
'That's easy to see,' he roared;
'that stupid face tells me that. Shut
un. Getout; but I 'think you ;are a
damned liar just the same. Back to
your battery.'
"I saluted and made my exit.
-"That night the Captain sent for
is. With fear and trembling we went
o his dugout. He was alone. After
eluting, we stood at attention in front
I him and waited. - His say ,was
hart. -
" 'Don't you two ever get it into
our heads that Morse is a dead lan-
guage. I've known it -for years. The
wo of you had better get rid Of that
ervous habit of tapping transmit -
tern; it's dangerous. That's all,'
"We saluted, and were just going
out of the dugout wheri the Captain
called us back. and said:
'Smoke Goldfiakes? Yes? Well
there are two tins of ORM on my, tab-
le. Go back to the battery, and, keep
your tongues. between your teeth. Un-
deretand ?'
"We understood.
• "For five weeks afterwards our , a
tery did nothing but extra fatigues.
We were satisfied and so were the
men. It was worth it to put one over
an Old Pepper, to say nothing ef the
injury caused to Fritz's feeling.
When Wilson had finished his story
I looked up and the dugout WAS jam-
med. An artillery Captain and two
officers had also entered and I stayed
for the finish. 'Wilson spat out an
enormous quid of tobacco, Icioned up,
saw the Captain, and got as red as a
carnation. The Captain smiled and
left. Wilsen whispered to me:
-Blime me, Yank., I see where I
click for crucifixion. That Captain is
the same one that chucked us the
Goldflakes in his dugout and Itere I
have been 'chucking, my weight about
in his hearing.' ".
Wilson never clicked his crucifixion.
Physician and Surgeon
Dffice and Residence, main Str ;
Pli1949 7Q -
DR. -J. • W. PECK
Graduate of Faculty of Medic„
McGill University, Montreal; Member 1
of College of Physicians and. Surgeons
of Ontario;Licentiate of Medical Coun-
eil of Canada; Post -Graduate Member
of Resident Medical Staff of Genal
Hospital, Montreal, 1914-15; Office, 2
doors east Of Post Office. Phone 56,
Hensel, °Atari°,
DR. P. J. BURROWS
Office and residence, Goderich street
east of the Methodiet church, Seaforth.
Phone 46. Coroner for the County of
Huron.
• DRS. SCOTT & MACKAY
J. G. Scott, graduate of Victoria and
College of Physicians and Surgeons
Ann Arbor, and aember of the Col-
lege of Physicians and Surgeons, of
Ontario.
C. Mackay, honor graduate of Trih -
ity University, and gold medallist of
Trinity Medical College; inember of
the College of Physicians and Surgeons
of °Ontario.
DR. H. HUGH ROSS. •
Graduate of University of Toronto
/Faculty. of Medicine, member of Col-
lege of Physicians and Surgeons of
Ontario; pass graduate courses in
Chicago Clinical School of Chicago;
Royal Ophthalmic Hospital, London,
England, University Hospital, London,
England. Office—Back of Dominion
snl Seaforth. Phone No. 5, Night
Calls -answered from residence, Vic-
toria street, Seaforth.
AUCTION EMS,
THOMAS BROWN.
Liamsed auctioneer for the cot" Iss
cif Enron and Perth. Correspond
arr! agamanta for sale dates can be
made by calling up Phone 97,81.1 /.t„k P
ow The ixpositor 4Xlice. Charges
ante *ad satisfaction guaranteed. °
Quite a contrast to Wilson was an-
other character in, our Brigade named
Scott, we called him "Old Scotty" on
account of his age. He was fifty-
seven, although looking forty. "Old
Scotty" had been born in the North-
west -and had served with:the North-
west Mounted Police. He was a typi-
cal cow -puncher and Indian fighter,
and Was a dead shot with the rifle,
and took no pains to disguise this fact
from us. He used to take care,of his
rifle as if it were e baby. In his spare
moments you could always see him
cleaning it or polishing the stock. Woe
betide the man, who by,,mistake, hap-
pened to get hold ofj this rifle; he soon
found out his errk Scat was as
deaf as a mule, and •t was amusing at
arade to watch bit in the manual of
rn1s, slyly glancing out of the corner
f his eye at the ni n next to him to
ea what the order w s. How he pass-
ed the doctor was ra mystery to us,
he must have bluffed his Nay through,
because hee.,ertainly was independent.
Beside him the Forth of July looked
like Good Friday. He wore at the time
a large sombrero, had a Mexican
stock saddle over his shoulder, a lariat
on his arm, and. a "forty-flye" hang-
ing from his hip. Dumping' this par-
aphernalia on the floor he went up to
the recruiting officer and shouted: "I'm
from Amercia, west of the Rockies,
R. T. LUX=
tiasseed Auetioneer for the County
It Ivrea. Boles attended to la aft
przib a the Comity. fin a yam' ex -
Vaasa* in lianitols and gaskateho-
*am Tenet seaseasita HMSO ND.
an/44 MX*" 011110sits P.O.*. z.
Mo. 1. Orders left at s Ess
rdter 011so, Seabee, yam,* at.
anaded to.
01.1.....IMMINOMEMNIMINamamens~
and want to join your 'damned army.
I've got no use for a German and can
shoot some. \At Scotland Yard they
turned rne down; said I was deaf and
so I am. I don't hanker to ship in
with 'a damned mud crunching outfit,
but the cavalry'sofull, so I guess this
regiment's batter than none, so trot
out your papers and I'll sign 'em."
He told theta he was forty and slip-
ped. by. I wag • on recruiting Service
at the time he applied for enlistment.
It was Old Scottys. great ambition
to be a sniper or "body snatcher," as
Mr: Atkins calls it. The day that he
was detailed as Brigade Sniper, he eel-
ebrated his. appointment by blowing
the Whole platoon to fags. ,
Being a Yank, Old Scotty took , a
liking to me and used to spin some
great yarns about the plains, and the
nvh,ole platoon would 'drink these in
and ask for more. Ananias was a
rookie compared with him.
The ex -plainsman and discipline
could not agree'but the officers all
liked him, even if he was hard to*
manage, SO When he wee detailed as
a sniper, a sigh of relief went up from.
the officers' mess.
Old 'Scotty had 'the freedom Of the
Brigade. He used to draw. two or
three days' rations and disappear with
hie glass, range finder, and rifle,. and
we would see or hear no more of him,
until suddenly he would reappear with
a couple of notches addeds to those
already on the butt of his, rifle"! Every
time he-gbt a, German it isieant anoth-
er notch. -He was proud of these not-
ches. °
But after a few months Father
Rheumatism got him andthe was sent
to Blighty; the air in the wake of his
stretcher was blue with curses. Old
Seedy surely could sweare some of his
outbursts actually burned' you.
No doubt, at this writing, he •is
"somewhere in Blighty" pussy footing
it on bridge or along the wall of
some munition plant with the "G.R.n
or Horne Defence Corps.
CHAI'Lb.R XVII.
Out in Front
After tea, Lieutenant Stores • of our
section came into the dugout and in-
formed me that I was "for" a, recon-
noitering patrol and, eVould carry sin
Mills bombs.
At eleven -thirty that night tWelte
Men, our Lieutenant and myself Went
out in 'front 'on a patrol in No Man's
Land.
•"-We cruised around in the dark for
about two hours, just knocking about
looking for Boche working partiee to
see what they were doing.. '
Arouph two it the morning we were
carefully picking our way', about thir-
ty yards in front of the -German barb-
ed wire, when wo,walked into a Boche
covering party nearly thirty strong.,
Then he music started,the fiddler ren-
dered- his bill, and we paid.
Fighting in the dark with a bayonet
is not very pleasant The Germans
took it on the run, but our officer was
no novice at the game and didn't fol-
low them. He gave the order "down
on the ground, hug it close."
Just in time, too, because a volley
skimmed over our heads. Then in low
tones we were told to separate and
crawl back to our trencheeeteach mare
on his own.
We could see the flashes of their
rifles in the darkness, but the bullets
were going over our heads.
We lost three men killed and one
wounded. If it hadn't been for our,
officer's quick thinking the whole pa -
I SUFFERING CATSL:
GIVE THIS MAN I
'THE GOLD MEDAL ;
4
Let folks step on your feet hereafter;
wear shoes a size smaller if you like,
t for gems will never again send electric
; sparks of pain through yoU, according
to this Cincinnati authority.
He says that a few drops of a drug
called freezone, applied directly upon
a tender, aching corn, Instantly re -
Sieves soreness, and soon the entire
corn root and all, lifts right out.
This drug is a sticky ether compound,
but dries at once and simply shrivels
up ithe corn without inflaming or even
irritating the surrounding tissue.
It Is claimed that a, quarter of an
ounce of freezone obtained, at any drug
store will cost very little but is SIM-
cient to remove every hard or soft corn
or calls from one's feet. Cut this out,
especially if you are a were= reader
who wears high b.eele. • ,.
E 11111()Isl EXPOSTFOR
trol would have probably been wiPoll
out.
After about twenty minutes' wait
we went out again and discovered that
the Germans -had -a wiring party weakl-
ing on their barbed wire. We reL
turned to our'trenches unobserved wltii
the information and our macine g
immediately got busy.
The next night four men were sent
out to go over and examine the Ger,.
man barbed wire and see if they had
cut lanes through it; if so, this presagf
ea an earlyentorning attack on o
trenches. '
Of course, 1 had to be one of th
four selected for the, job. It was jus
like' sending a fellow to the under-,
takers to order his own coffin.
At ten o'clock we started out ,arm
with three bombs, a bayonet, and r
volver, After getting into '1'sTo Man's
Land we separated. Crawling four or
five feet at a time, ducking star shells
with strays cracking over head. I
reached their wire. .1 scouted alon
this`-trich by inch, scarcely breathing
I could hear thern talking in the'
trench, my heart was pounding against
my ribs. One false move or the least
noise from me meant diecovery and
almost certaine death.
After ciivering any sector I quietly
'1, C4 back. I had gotten about
'half way, when noticed that My re-
volver was missing. It was pitch
dark. I turned ateeat to see if I could
find it; it couldn't be far away, be-
cause about three *lour minutes pre-
viously I had felt the butt in the hols-
ter. I crawled aroond in circles and
at last found it, then 'started on .my
way back to our trenches as. I thenglit
Pretty soon I reacheA the barbed
wire, and was just going to give the
password, when something told me not
to. I put out my hand and •toucb.ed
one of the barbed wire stakes, It was
iron. The British are orwood, While
the German are iron. My heart stop-
ped beating; by mistake I had mewled
back to the. German lines.
I turned slowly about and my tonic
eaugh on the wire and made a loud
ripping noise.
.2t, sharp challenge rang • (not" I
-speang to my feet, ducking r,ONy'r and
ran madly back toward; our lines. the
Germans started firing. The bullets
Were bithig' all around ine, when bang!
I ran into our own Wire, and a aharp
alallenege "'Alt,'who comes there?"
rang. out. I gasped out the password
and groping,my way through the lane
in the wire, tearing my hands and
uniform, I tumbled into our trench
and was .safe, but I was a nervous
wreck fort an hour, until a drink of
rum brought me round.
act was the interior 4 the Diamond
Palace Saloon, also On the Bowery.
the,play I took the part of Abe
SWitch, e farmer, who had come from
Ptunpknvffle te,rateie Tennessee, to
i make hie first visit to New York.
In the scene Abe Swatch meets the
prOpriotor of the Diamond Pala* Sa-
loon, a rameaCkle affair which, to the
owner was a financial Tess.
The proprietors name was Tom
TWietenis, has bartender being named
Fillem Up. •
After meeting Abe, Tom and Fillein
persuaded him to buy the place,
praising it to thee skies and telling
wondrous tales of the money taken.
over the bar.
While they are t,alking an Old Jew,
named 'key Cohenstein comes along,
and Abe engaged him for cashier. Af-
ter engaging Ikey 'they, meet an old
Southern. negro, called Sambo and ,
upon the suggestion of Ikey he is en-
gaged as porter. Then the theee of
them, arm in arm, leave to take pos-
session of this wonderful palace whieh
Abe had just paid $6,000 for. (Con-
tain).
• The KiNG GEORGE THEATRE
(Erected 1918)
c
CHAPTER XVII/.
Staged. Under Fire.
Thnee days after the incident, just
related our Company was relieved
from the front line and carried 'put.
We -stayed in reserve billets for about
two weeks when we received the• wel-
comes news that our division would go
back of -the line "to rest billets." We
would remain in these billets for at
least two 'months,. this in order to be
restored to our lull strength by drafts
of recruits from Blighty. °
Everyone was happy and Content-
ed at these tidings ;dell you could hear
around the billets -was whistling and
singing: The day 'after the receipt of
the order we hiked for five days, mak-
ing an average on about twelve kilos
per day until we arrived at the small
town of 0' .
At took us about three days tO get
settled from then on our cushy thne
started. We would parade from 8.45
in the morning until 12 noon. Then
except for an oecesional billet or bri-
gade guard we were on our awn For
the first four or five afternoon?, I
spent my time in bringing up to idate
my neglected correspondence. j
Tommy loves tie be amused and be-
ing a Yank, they turned to mo for
something new in this line. I taught
them how to pitch horseshoes, and this
fame made a great hit for about ten
days. Then Tommy turned to Amer-
ica for a new diversion. I was 'Iry in
the air. Until a happy thought earee to
me. - Why not write a sketch 1 and
break Tommy in as an actor'? I
. One evening; after "Lights out,"
when you are not supposed to talk, I
imparted my scheme in whispers to
the section. They, eagerly aec4P'ted
the idea of forming a Stock company
and could' hardly wait until the morn-
ing for further details. 1
After parade, the next afternoon, I
was almost mobbed. Everyone in, the
section wanted a part in the, proposed
sketch. When I informed them that it
would take at least ten days of 1.hard
work to write a plot, they were bitter-
ly ' disappointed. I immediately got
buy, made a desk opt of biscuit -fins
in the corner of thebillet, and put up
a sign, "Ernpey & Wallace Theatrical
Co.' About twenty in the section, up-
on reading this sign, immediately ap-
plied for the position of 'office boy. I
accepted the twenty applicatits, and
sent them oo scouting parties through-
out the .des'erted French village, These
parties were to search all attics for
discarded civilian clothing, and any-
thing that we could use in the lpropsj
of our 'proposed Company.
About five o'clock that night they
returned and covered with grime and
dust, but loaded down with a Miscel-
laneous assortment of everything una
der the sun. They must have though
hat I was going to start a depart-
ihet store, judging from the 'differ -I
ent things they brought back , from
their pillage. i
After eight days, of ,constani
writing I completed a two -act fare
comedy which I called "The 'Diamond
Palace Saloon." Upon the suggestio
of one of the boys in the section I senit
a proof of the programme to o print-
ing house in London. Then, I aszigm
ed the different parts and started 7
jti;
hearsing. David Bela,sco would bre e
thrown up his hands in despair at tile
material which I had to -use. -13 t
imagine trying to teach a. Tonun i
with a strong cockney accent, to hi -
personate
a Bowery Tough or a Souti-
ery Negro. ,
. ,
Adjacent to our billet was ,an op
field. We got busy at one end of it
and constructed a stage. 'We aecurfed
the lumber for the stege by clemolleh-
ing an ,old wooden shack in. the reari of
our billet 1
The first scene was supposed to e -
present a street on the Bowery in New
York. While the scene of the send
-gituated Corner of Sandbag Terrace
and AMMO Street.
PROGRAMME
'Under Alanagement of Empey and Wallace
Note—The Management warns all patrOns
of this Theatre that they will not be re-
sponsible for injuries redeived from the un-
authorized entrance of stray shells, "whizz -
bangs," or rifle 'bullets.
Programmes Printed by Everett
Executive Staff
A. G. Barney - Producer and Playwright
jack Wallace , Manager
Richard Turpin „ Cashier
Stage Manager
Property Man
- Electrician
ter
George Parsons - -
Frederick Houghton -
William Everett - -
William Guilford Carpen
Sydney ImpeyBooking Office
lohn Foscroft Head Usher
'NOTE ,
The Management requests that patrons
.win remove their steel helmets.
In case of an -attack, keep your seats,
don't interrupt the Performance.
If you don't like the show, leave, don't
pat On your gas helmets.
Patrons will not bring live bombs 'into
this theatre. t
No one allowed past the barbed wire in
frOtit, of the footlights as it is the actor's
only protection. No firing at actors:
. It is earnestly requested that any incivil-
ity oir inattention towards patrons from
the employees of this Theatre be reported
at the Booking Office. so that the offender.
may be shot a sunrtise (if he gets up in
time).
Ladies room in rear of first balcony.
Matron irn attendance.
Lounging -and Smoking Room for gentle- ;
men in the shell -proof cellar. Indentifica-
tion disc mliSt be shown to prove you are
a gentleman
Gentlemen are reqtrested not to swear
aloud at theaetorse the show, playwright
or orehestra. - It is not their fault -that they
are rotten, the* know it as well as you do.
No tins of Belly Beef or Maconocbie Ra-
tions aecepted. at the Booking Office in
payment for ti.ckets.
Caste 'of ,Charaeters
(as they appear)
Tom Twistem (gang leader and wise guy.
owner and proprietor of the Diamond
Palace Saloon, out for the dough-
- • Jack Wallace
Fillum Up --(Bartender' of the Diamond
Palate Saloon, ail - ex -burglar, a tieket-
of-leave.man) - - - Wilfrid Isem
Sambo—(A negro ronl. 'Virginia. always
broke and hungry„Ijoine(1 a minstrel .sbnw
..which went broke and' 'left him stranded
in New York) ., Edward Fitz.gerald
'I key Cohenstei-u--(An East -Side .Jew. New.
York City. Dealer in Second Baud clothes
'and a Mon(ylender)--- - Charles Homey
,the Switch—A 'fernier. postmaster, eon -
stable, owner of the only shop in Pump-
kinville Centre, Tennessee. U.S.A. First._
trip to New York, City. Left his wife,
Miranda at . borne) - - A. G. Empey .
Weary Willie --(A him, never works and:
-Nlways drunk) t- - - A. G. Hall
Sid Coeaine2:--(A morphine fiend, a. man of
few words , - - - William Yerrell
"Hie Papes—(A tough newsboy) -4-
. Charles Dalton
"Broadway!" Kate --(Tom Twistem's lady
,friend, clever at getting the dough)—
Madame Zara
Sing Bee Sung—(A Chinese Laundryman)-
41rliaommtleergall
Alkali Ike—(A Texas cowboy
i
Lands, Texts, expert r volver shot, quick
on the draw and shoo s from the hip.—
, ' A. G. Hall
Customers, Soldiers, Etc.
Send for,
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and sends" it with lc. stamp (for postage) to 471Zbe
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1,V4r
tablished in the village. They called
themselves "The Bow Bells," and put
on a sketch entitled "Blighty --What
Hopes?" Miley were the Divisional
Concert PartY,
We hoped they all would be soon in
Blighty to give us a, chance.
This company charged an admission
of _a franc per head, and that night
our company went exi masse to *see
their performance. It really was good.
I had a sinking sensation -when I
thought of runnirig my sketch in op-
position to it In one of -their Scenes
they had a soubrette called Flossie.
The soldier that tin* this part was
clever and made a'ne appearing and
chic girl. We immediately fell in love
Iwith her until,- two days after, while
we were on a-• march, we passed Flos-
sie with "her"- sleeves rolled up and
the sweat pouring from "her" face
unloading shells from a motor lorry.
As our section passed her 'I yelled
out: "Hello Flossie, Blighty --What
Hopes?" Her reply made our love
ie out instantly.. „ ..
"Ah,, go to hell!"
This brought quite a laugh from
the marching column' directed at me,
and I instantly made up diny Blind
that a our sketch sh'ould immediately
run in opposition to "Blighty -f -What
Hopes?" .
When we returned to our billet fron3.
the march, Curley Wallace, my the-
atrical partner,
came running over
me and said he had found a swanky
place in which to produce our show.
IAfter taking off my equiiinifent, and
followed by the rest of the section, I
went over to the building he had pick-
ed out. It was a. monstrous barn with
a platform at one end which -would
Mess. Empty and Wallace
Present the Rip Roaring, Side SpIttting,
Farce Comedy, entitled
TAB DIAMOND PALACE frALOON
A Traversity OD New Ydrk Life, acted by
the AR -Star Caste of the
167th Brigade Machine Gun Co pany
(Suicide' Club)
Section No. 1.
Written; rehearsed and produced under fire
during the European War, France, 1916
..u.,••••••••••••••••••
ACT 1. "
Scene 1—Street Scene on the Bowery, New
York City. Time—Any old tin.
'Note—Five minutes interval to enable
actors to get- a drink.
ACT II,
Scene 1.—(one scene is suiticient)—Interior
of Diamond Palace Saloon, corner of 3rd
Avenue and 12th Street, New York City.
Time: Same day as Act 1.
Rendered by the Trench Orchestra
L A. M. ROTTEN 1- Leader
Overture— - - - ' Hymn of Hate
Selection - - "How we Love der Kaiser"
Intermezzo - - - "Stick it into a Hun"
March 1 "On to Berlin"
Selection ' "Poison Gas"
-God Save The Bing
FINIS• I
In the Second act the curtain rises
on the interior of the Piamond. Palace
Saloon, and the audience gets its first
shock. The salOort looks like a pigpen,
two temps lying drunk on the floor,
and the bartender igi a dirty shirt with
his sleeves rolled up, asleep with his
head on the bar.
Enter Abe, Samlio and 'key, and
the fun. commences;
One of the charaeters in the second
act was named Broadway Kate, and I
had an awful job to break in one of
the Tommies to act and talk like a
woman.
Another character was Alkali Ike,
an Arizona cowboy, who just before
the close of the play, Comes into the
saloon and wrecks it with his revolver.
We had eleven three-hour rehearttels
before I thought it advisable to pre-
sent the sketch to the public. 1
• The whole Brigade was crazy to
witness the first perfoimance. This
performance was scheduled for Friday
night and everyone was full of antici-
pation; when bang! orders came tbro'
that the Brigade would move at two
that afternoon. Cursing and blinding
was the order of things upon the re-
ceipt of this order, but we moved.
That night we reached the little
village of • -, and again Went
into rest billets. Our Company im-
mediately got busy and scoured the
village for a suitable place in which j
to present our production. Then we
received another shock.;
A rival company wee alread3i es- 4
•
ilEART *A$ BAD
WOULD WAKEN UP
IN *DISTRESS.
There is nothin: that brings with it
such fear of impe L death as to wake.
nip in the night with ti e heart pounding
and thumping. This uncertain and ir-
regular heart action causes the greatest
distress of both mind and body.
Milburn'e Heart and Nerve Pills
strengthen and invigorate the heart, so
that it beats strong and regular, and
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thing of the past.
Mr. Archie Beaumont, Edgett's Land-
ing N.B.; writes:—"Have been bothered
with my heart and nerves for about six
years, caused by overwork and worry.
My heart was so bad Iewould waken up
eeveral times during the night in great
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Milburn's Heart and Nerve Pills are
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make an ideal gage. The sectin got
right on the job, and Were niht had
that, place rigged out in apple pie ,or-
derihe next day was Sunday and si,f-
ter church parade we put all our time
on a dresi riehearsal, and it went fate.
I made four or five large gime 'an-
nouncing that our eompany would op-
en up that evening at the Kin George
the Fifth Theatre, on the corner of
Ammo Streetj and Sandbag Terrace.
Gen.eral admission was ,one half franc.
First ten rows in orchestra one franc,
and boxes two francs. By this time
our printed programmes had return-
ed from London, and I further an-
nounced that on the night of the first
performagee a programirte would be
given free of charge to men holding
tickets costing a franc or over.
We had an orchestra of seven men
and seven different instruments. This
orchestra was excellent --While they
were not playing.
The perfprmance was scheduled, to
start at 6 /pee. "
At 5.15 there was a mob infront of
our one entrance and it looked- like
a big night., We had two boxes each
accommixiating four people, and these
we immediately seld out Then a
brillinat idea: came to Rey Cobenstein.
Why not use the rafters overhead, call
them boxes, and charge two francs for
a seat on them? The only difficulty
was how were the men to reach these
boxes, but to Ikey this_ was a mere
detail. -
lie got lotg ropes:and tied nee end
around each rafter and then, tied a lot
of knots in the ropes, These /vises
would take the place of stairways
We figured out that the rafters
would/seat about forty men. and- sold
that nninber of tickets .accoxdingly.
Whea the .ticket holders for tlie
boxes got a glimpse of the rafters
and were informed that they bad to
use the rope stairway, there wim a
howl of indignatioA but we bad their
money and told them that if they zia
not like it they could write to the
'management later and their enoniY
would be refunded; but under theta
conditions they would not be allowlid
to witness the performance that night.
After a little grousing they. ,aV
eepted the situation with the promise
that if the show was rotten they cer-
tainly would let us know about it
during the performance. _
a hEovvverytlinglingsueewessen,tultTIAusliy_ imdikeit wap.aa
peered on the scene with his revolver
loaded with blank cartridges. Belthid
thebar
bottles.
omkan a siliienclf ewaswasa sluonpglpost toot'
start on tlie.left of this line and break
-six of the bottles by firing at them
with his revolver. Behind these bot -
(Continued on page' six.)
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